I read this MUST READ Extract and my mouth is hanging loose in shock!
This is an excerpt from Toke Makinwa's soon to be released book – On Becoming in which she shared her incredible survival story --The details will shock you!
Toke says it “is not a tell-all but a must tell.
Here are some MUST-READ excerpts.
The Discovery
I got on my knees in front of him, my voice calm as I can make it. “Maje, you can’t keep lying. What is going on?
He walks away, leaving me there with my heart in my hands. I see him pacing, like he is
having a private conversation. Then all of a sudden, he walks back to the living room, looks straight into my eyes and says, ‘She’s pregnant’.
I fall to the ground. My head….
‘What’s she having?’
‘A boy,’ he says.
‘How long have you known?’
‘I’ve always known…. It was what I thought I wanted,’ he says.
The Wedding
“Finally, I thought. He chose me! He has stepped up and he’s finally ready to make us a priority.
It was my wedding day.
I was happy, yet I was waiting for something to happen. Maje had disappointed me three times before. We would pick a date to go to the wedding registry and he would call it off…. We had discussed eloping, but he’d never committed to any plan.
It wasn’t until we shared our first dance to John Legend’s ‘All of Me’ that I finally believed that it had happened.
We got back together (after a quarrel because Maje took ‘an ex’ to a party he bluntly told Toke he wasn’t taking her to and he and the ex were ‘touching freely and kissing’)…
Maje invited me to Abuja…. As I was putting away my things I saw all kinds of feminine items – earrings on the dresser, sanitary pads in the drawer….”
The Other Woman
“Who was that girl?” I asked
“That’s that girl”
“Which girl?”
“The girl I told you about. Her friends are always calling me to say she really likes me and has a crush on me. Her name is Anita.”
“So that’s the Anita girl they say you are dating.”
“I’m not dating her. How can I date someone that is always saying ‘can I come and see you? I’ll bring my friend that you think is cute’?”
I accepted Maje’s explanation and concluded that Anita was not important. So I’ll be with Maje and she’d call and I’d tell him, “The girl that has a crush on you is calling.” And it would be nothing.
The Sex Tape and Bleaching
“At some point while we were dating, Maje had asked if he could tape us having sex. This was a new one for me but I would do anything to keep my man, or so I thought, and so I obliged.
But I was nervous afterwards because I didn’t want the tape to get into the wrong hands….
I dragged the file back to his desktop, and I could tell from the stilled image in the video that the person in it was not me…. I clicked play and watched horrified as Maje had sex with Anita.
Watching that video, all of the inadequacies I thought I had dealt with over the years came rushing back.
I had been with Maje from when I was an immature teenager, through my twenties, and for most of those years, Anita had been the standard I had to live up to. I had lightened my skin at some point – Anita was half Lebanese and half Ibibio, and Maje made me feel like he preferred her lighter skin.”
Breakups and Makeups
Months passed and I still couldn’t find a job (in London). And I was still heartbroken. Maje and Anita were officially an item, and I stalked them on Facebook. Maje would put her picture up and they would write on each other’s walls.
…one cold night as I got off the bus, I got a Facebook message from Maje. It read: ‘I miss you and I cannot deny or hide it, come back to me’.
We started talking again… I convinced myself that he had changed.
Maje and I had been together for nine years, on and off, at this point, and it had been an unending cycle of hurt and betrayal. Every time we took ten steps forward in our relationship, we took fifty back. Each time I gave up and let go, Maje would come after me and hold on so tightly till I gave in.
Another child
… there was a 70-day fasting and prayer programme at my church. I joined in: I was praying for Maje and I. On the final day, I prayed and asked God to reveal why Maje and I couldn’t find peace with each other.
…I opened my email address and typed Maje’s email address in. I had no idea what his password was but I was determined to get into his account…. I went through email after email until I found pictures of a boy that looked exactly like Maje….
Contemplating Suicide
I was sitting in the bedroom one day. There was a bottle of Dettol in the bathroom and a thought came, very strong, “Just drink it and die. What’s the point? The whole world is laughing at you right now. Just end it.”
Faith
The devil finds a way to fill your head with lies when you have just gone through a period. These lies can make you question everything, including the very purpose of your existence. Lies like:
‘You’re not good enough’
‘This is the best thing that could have happened to you and now it’s falling apart’
‘This will end you’
When this lies came, God’s word provided a much-needed comfort and a reminder of my identity and His plans for me.
Moving on and Healing
Maje hadn’t made it easy for me to move on. He’d begged like his life depended on me staying….
And then there were the outrageous comments:
‘Maje spent X amount of time with Anita so she wasn’t the mistress, Toke was’
‘She didn’t break your home, you did. You came between two people who loved each other by marrying him’.
…. That day’s topic was about making marriage work, and it hit me so hard that I cried like a baby. I wasn’t a virtuous woman; I was a girl! A girl with a daddy-void so large that she had all of her issues and expectations on a man who was still trying to discover his purpose.
All my mistakes became clear to me. I hadn’t lost my marriage to another woman. I had given my marriage to her.
While I’m not sure if I’ll find love again, I am sure of the contentment I have found in a God who’s got my back 100%.
This book is a MUST READ! Toke will be launching it in Nigeria this Sunday, November 27, 2016.
It will be released on November 28, 2016, in bookstores across Nigeria, South Africa, Kenya, United Kingdom and the United States
E-Books will be available on Kindle, Amazon, OkadaBooks and more. Be sure to get a copy!
The Discovery
I got on my knees in front of him, my voice calm as I can make it. “Maje, you can’t keep lying. What is going on?
He walks away, leaving me there with my heart in my hands. I see him pacing, like he is
having a private conversation. Then all of a sudden, he walks back to the living room, looks straight into my eyes and says, ‘She’s pregnant’.
I fall to the ground. My head….
‘What’s she having?’
‘A boy,’ he says.
‘How long have you known?’
‘I’ve always known…. It was what I thought I wanted,’ he says.
The Wedding
“Finally, I thought. He chose me! He has stepped up and he’s finally ready to make us a priority.
It was my wedding day.
I was happy, yet I was waiting for something to happen. Maje had disappointed me three times before. We would pick a date to go to the wedding registry and he would call it off…. We had discussed eloping, but he’d never committed to any plan.
It wasn’t until we shared our first dance to John Legend’s ‘All of Me’ that I finally believed that it had happened.
We got back together (after a quarrel because Maje took ‘an ex’ to a party he bluntly told Toke he wasn’t taking her to and he and the ex were ‘touching freely and kissing’)…
Maje invited me to Abuja…. As I was putting away my things I saw all kinds of feminine items – earrings on the dresser, sanitary pads in the drawer….”
The Other Woman
“Who was that girl?” I asked
“That’s that girl”
“Which girl?”
“The girl I told you about. Her friends are always calling me to say she really likes me and has a crush on me. Her name is Anita.”
“So that’s the Anita girl they say you are dating.”
“I’m not dating her. How can I date someone that is always saying ‘can I come and see you? I’ll bring my friend that you think is cute’?”
I accepted Maje’s explanation and concluded that Anita was not important. So I’ll be with Maje and she’d call and I’d tell him, “The girl that has a crush on you is calling.” And it would be nothing.
The Sex Tape and Bleaching
“At some point while we were dating, Maje had asked if he could tape us having sex. This was a new one for me but I would do anything to keep my man, or so I thought, and so I obliged.
But I was nervous afterwards because I didn’t want the tape to get into the wrong hands….
I dragged the file back to his desktop, and I could tell from the stilled image in the video that the person in it was not me…. I clicked play and watched horrified as Maje had sex with Anita.
Watching that video, all of the inadequacies I thought I had dealt with over the years came rushing back.
I had been with Maje from when I was an immature teenager, through my twenties, and for most of those years, Anita had been the standard I had to live up to. I had lightened my skin at some point – Anita was half Lebanese and half Ibibio, and Maje made me feel like he preferred her lighter skin.”
Breakups and Makeups
Months passed and I still couldn’t find a job (in London). And I was still heartbroken. Maje and Anita were officially an item, and I stalked them on Facebook. Maje would put her picture up and they would write on each other’s walls.
…one cold night as I got off the bus, I got a Facebook message from Maje. It read: ‘I miss you and I cannot deny or hide it, come back to me’.
We started talking again… I convinced myself that he had changed.
Maje and I had been together for nine years, on and off, at this point, and it had been an unending cycle of hurt and betrayal. Every time we took ten steps forward in our relationship, we took fifty back. Each time I gave up and let go, Maje would come after me and hold on so tightly till I gave in.
Another child
… there was a 70-day fasting and prayer programme at my church. I joined in: I was praying for Maje and I. On the final day, I prayed and asked God to reveal why Maje and I couldn’t find peace with each other.
…I opened my email address and typed Maje’s email address in. I had no idea what his password was but I was determined to get into his account…. I went through email after email until I found pictures of a boy that looked exactly like Maje….
Contemplating Suicide
I was sitting in the bedroom one day. There was a bottle of Dettol in the bathroom and a thought came, very strong, “Just drink it and die. What’s the point? The whole world is laughing at you right now. Just end it.”
Faith
The devil finds a way to fill your head with lies when you have just gone through a period. These lies can make you question everything, including the very purpose of your existence. Lies like:
‘You’re not good enough’
‘This is the best thing that could have happened to you and now it’s falling apart’
‘This will end you’
When this lies came, God’s word provided a much-needed comfort and a reminder of my identity and His plans for me.
Moving on and Healing
Maje hadn’t made it easy for me to move on. He’d begged like his life depended on me staying….
And then there were the outrageous comments:
‘Maje spent X amount of time with Anita so she wasn’t the mistress, Toke was’
‘She didn’t break your home, you did. You came between two people who loved each other by marrying him’.
…. That day’s topic was about making marriage work, and it hit me so hard that I cried like a baby. I wasn’t a virtuous woman; I was a girl! A girl with a daddy-void so large that she had all of her issues and expectations on a man who was still trying to discover his purpose.
All my mistakes became clear to me. I hadn’t lost my marriage to another woman. I had given my marriage to her.
While I’m not sure if I’ll find love again, I am sure of the contentment I have found in a God who’s got my back 100%.
It will be released on November 28, 2016, in bookstores across Nigeria, South Africa, Kenya, United Kingdom and the United States
E-Books will be available on Kindle, Amazon, OkadaBooks and more. Be sure to get a copy!
Oops!...from bellanaija
All her Aristole parol is coming back to hunt her.... Karma is a bitch! I know her so leave story
ReplyDeleteToke has gone thru a lot,but still she rose above it all,counting down to 28th ,can't wait to lay my hands on the book
ReplyDeleteHave a feeling that Maje would request for proceeds from the book..
ReplyDeleteGbam!!!
ReplyDeleteShe's blocked him in that regards.
Sex tape is a very potent weapon for blackmail. Especially in such primitive and conservative country like nigeria.
That her ex or whoever that told her to do a ponography material is EVIL!!!
dunno why I have dis feeling that Maje won't marry the Anita girl eventually...am watching and waiting. it is well wt all of them
ReplyDeleteReally, Sisi Eko what do you know? She's a celebrity who gave relationship advice. To have written this and even point out her insecurities and mistakes is a lot of bravery. No one needs to read my story or yours cos we are not Toke. So many people listened to her vlog everyday for lessons and all, and for her marriage to have crashed the way it did, she, at least owed them her own side of the story. I don't think this is about pity party, this is so much bravery that even I do not have.
ReplyDeleteThat was what I thought too. Smart move to have been the first to talk about it! Now,the tape is very useless to anyone.
ReplyDeleteShe started dating this guy from her late teens, Mrs Judgina!
ReplyDeleteLol, I know I'll want to read, love me Toke
ReplyDeleteNo he can't sue her. This is called a biography. Ok!!
ReplyDeleteReal life experiences. All of you fo0ls still praying and fasting, hiding shame upandan should learn now how to shame the devil. Write, openly talk & document your own past. SHAME THE DEVIL THAT WAY AND MOVE ON!!!
I mean, this is no inspirational book and her target market is insecure girls with no self esteem like her. She really tried it, blame her bleaching and insecurities on Maje. Maje isnt and wasnt the problem Toke, he showed sooo many signs of not wanting you. You just didnt love yourself enough to see it, and you are no saint, own up to your insecurities.
ReplyDeleteAnita is the victim here
ReplyDeleteToke stole Him from Her using her fame,
Anita was forever crying and depressed
She could not do anything because toke is famous and rich.
Maje is a strong man ,last last he did the right thing.
Long pause.
ReplyDeleteI read these excerpts and tried to feel some empathy. Zilch. I'm just disappointed becos I know her and I don't understand why she wrote this book. In the bid of trying to invoke self pity and make him look bad, Toke, you have to take responsibility of being foolish and weak.
A man that called off a wedding severally is fickle and you my dear are foolish for marrying him.
All men beg for a second chance. It's left for you to figure out the wheat from the chaff.
Eagerly waiting to read the book .... indeed, a must read! A wise business woman ... make profit from your pain ...I sincerely pray and hope you find true love from a man who appreciates you.
ReplyDeleteKilled her family because of a man? What manner of love was that?
ReplyDeleteToke, u need Jesus in ur lyf!!! Fornication is a sin & no sin goes unpunished! U were busy trying 2 meet up, make him luv u, luv cnt b forced dear. Writing a book? What is the moral lesson as u said God is by ur side? Didn't he mention dat vengeance is his'? Did he mention abt 4giveness? Toke, can u proudly say " am totally innocent! GOD can u publish my story! Can you? Many has bn hurt, they move on, they rely on God nt by hurting the person. What if Maje tells his part? What if this is Karma?
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm..... Toke, who asked u 2 have a bf & have sex b4 marriage? When he startd cheating, y did u stay back? When u decided 2 b Anita by bleaching, tell me u didn't no he loved her? U knew & decided 2 "fight". Didn't get a balance 2 this story, u didn't mention abt ur short comings, or u did jst nothing? U never cheated? & since u loved him dat much, y didn't u let d baby not cause problems btw u 2? Toke, pls grow up, stop dwelling in d past.
ReplyDeleteNne pls what u did is wrong & also a sin. Y write a book abt ur failed marriage? You chose Maje so deal with it. Writing a book? Hell no!!! Besides best people dat give marriage advice re old people nt ur likes. Yh u were hurt, so is he, y murder him more? I hope u no its a sin.
ReplyDelete4rm all indications, you ve not moved on. Am asking you 2 do away with the book nne, learn 2 4give, move on. Most importantly, only in Jesus is peace. This book will always be there 2 remind you of 1 thing or the other. I don't no the Church u attend, I don't no if you don't listen 2 sermons or read ur Bible. God wipes away our sins totally, nt record & publish, else all humans wld ve committed murder outta shame. Give ur life totally 2 God & He will make u anew again. Remember murder isn't only when the person is dead.
ReplyDelete