Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists *Wink*

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Saturday, 31 December 2016

Saturday In House Gists *Wink*

Time to 'crack' jokes and win something....




Have you heard?I hear Usain Bolt is already in 2017..he got there two days ago...#Copied

LMAO.


The winners will be compiled by BV's Droyalty and/or Beloved who will each be also gifted for their time counting the votes.
Both can also post the rules guiding how they will select their winners so that the posters know what they are in for.
Miss Aboki you can try again,maybe you go win.



104 comments:

Elastic said...

A girl brings a guy home one night. They get into her apartment and immediately she suggests that they do "69". "What the hell is that?" asks the guy. Realizing he's inexperienced, she tries to explain, "I put my head between your legs and you put your head between mine." Still not knowing what she's talking about, but not wanting to ruin the moment he agrees to try it. The second they get into the position, she lets go a rip-roaring fart.

"What was that for?" he asks.

"Oops! Sorry, lets try it again." she says. So, they get into position again, and once more she lets one loose. The guy gets up and starts to put his coat on.

"Wait, where are you going?" she asks.

The guy says, " If you think I'm sticking around for 67 more of those, you're crazy!

#DontQuoteMe

Becky Divine said...

Good luck to you all

Great lady said...

That disgraceful moment when a well known prostitute πŸ™‹πŸ™ŒπŸ™†waves at you from the other side of the road and shouts,πŸ‘…πŸ‘…"Customer u no go come today?" during an Evangelism exercise. πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ πŸƒπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Kuku kill me
*copied*

Obinna said...

Thank God it's Saturday! The last Day of the year 2016... Here's my last joke for the year!
NIGERIAN POLICE WILL NOT KILL ME.......
A Nigerian police officer arrested a man for urinating at a place clearly marked ''DO NOT URINATE HERE. OFFENDERS WOULD PAY N500.00''. The man (offender) was asked to pay. He gave the police officer N1000 note. The police officer turned to him and said ''Urinate again, i dont have change!''

Sisi Eko said...

Lmao

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Let the gist begin

Villager said...

Diss is mine joke

πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜€

Ghanaman said...

Two kidsπŸ‘¬ were playing, they found a used condom and took it home as a balloon.

The kids mother got upset and warned them not to pick up things while playing.

When the mother left, one kid said to the other, "why was mum so angry😠 that we found a balloon? Thank God we didn't tell her we drank the fan milk that was inside." πŸ˜„πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜€πŸ˜œπŸ˜πŸ˜›πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ˜§πŸ˜―


*ghanaman signing out*

chimissy said...

English Lesson!
Teacher: Today, we'll talk about question tags. Here are examples:
1. She is coming, isn't she?
2. They have eaten, haven't they?
Now, who can give me another example?
Abu: Sir! Na Yam we go chop today, chopn't we?
Teacher: What kind of sentence is that, please who can help correct him?
Akpos: Sir! Na yam we go chop today, yamn't we?
Teacher: You guys must be stupid! Must you joke with everything? Γ“yΓ‘, Emmanuella! I know you're brilliant. Give us an example.
Emmanuella: Na motor go kill our teacher, killn't him?
Teacher: Na motor go kill your papa,
papan't u?
#copied

Ghanaman said...

Two kidsπŸ‘¬ were playing, they found a used condom and took it home as a balloon.

The kids mother got upset and warned them not to pick up things while playing.

When the mother left, one kid said to the other, "why was mum so angry😠 that we found a balloon? Thank God we didn't tell her we drank the fanmilk that was inside." πŸ˜„πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜€πŸ˜œπŸ˜πŸ˜›πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ˜§πŸ˜―



*ghanaman signing out*

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Let the gist begin

Beloved said...

Please Read and be Very Careful in Life...

Trump is 70
Hilary is 69
Obama is 55
70 + 69 + 55 = 194

Nana Addo is 72
John Mahama is 59
NDC is 3 letters
NPP is 3 letters
Therefore, 72 + 59 + 3 + 3 = 137

USA is 3 letters nd Nigeria is 7 letters...
3 + 7 = 10.

All these things don't mean anything...πŸ˜‚
I just wanted to waste ur Time...😜😜😜

If e too vex u, come beat me....πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

#2016lasttroubles Bye...✋

Beloved said...

Rules and regulations :
Anonymous gist is invalid
Each person is only entitled to one gist, multiple entry get you
disqualified for any win
You must state the source of a gist ie either #copied or #original
Your gist must not be "dry "
The reactions on your gist also boost your chances of winning.
Lmao

Anonymous said...

Earlier today as I was about to slot my card
into d ATM, I noticed the Lady behind me on the
queue was too close for comfort so I politely
told her, excuse me, could u please move back
a little? She was like PLEASE! PLEASE!!
PLEASE!!! I can't go backer than this, this is the
backest I can go, can't u see there is somebody
in front of my back..... I still no fit remember
my pin since ooo tell me if u remember plz

Anonymous said...

Earlier today as I was about to slot my card
into d ATM, I noticed the Lady behind me on the
queue was too close for comfort so I politely
told her, excuse me, could u please move back
a little? She was like PLEASE! PLEASE!!
PLEASE!!! I can't go backer than this, this is the
backest I can go, can't u see there is somebody
in front of my back..... I still no fit remember
my pin since ooo tell me if u remember plz

Florence Komolafe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Oluchi Lambert said...

Lol, Usain Bolt done run enter 2017.

AbaMade said...

My English Teacher is part of those who taught me how to lie... She will be telling us to write a letter to our Uncle overseas when she knows that my Uncle is in the village flexingπŸ˜• #copied#

Stella would it be too much to ask if you'd just shut down for one day so i could get some important things in my life done? I felt so incomplete these few days without it
just kidding, really dont do that.

Chike TEFLON said...

This Saturday 31th December i'll be throwing a party at home, i'll get some drinks,roast some goat meats, fry some chickens, dance to songs and thank God for seeing the last day of 2016.,if you're free and interested,you should also do the same in your house tho.

Florence Komolafe said...

An Igbo multi-millionaire-Chief, to maintain a mistress in Lagos, bought
a house in Lekki-VGC (in his own name) for her to live in, plus a
monthly allowance of N500,000. The house cost him about N75m in
2005. He sold the house last week for N225m, after they broke up.
A quick calculation shows that after 5 years of a fling with the woman,
he still had a net gain of N114m plus six years of free sex. When his wife
found out, she was very mad at him and gave him a big mouthful. She
yelled at him: BLOODY IDIOT!!! Why the hell didn't you keep two
Mistresses? copied

Stelz said...

This is a true life story.
So a cute guy stopped a fine babe in front of Shoprite Enugu. They talked for a while and the guy took her number. Suddenly when the guy was about driving out in his clean Range Rover, 2015 model, the girl comes running after the car, shouting;
"Wait! Please stop! I gave you a wrong number! Stop lemme give you the real one!"
The guy just drove off. We no fit laugh!!

Uniq Gem said...

THE WRINKLED NIGHTGOWN

A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown.
Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realized the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking Unclad through the house, she passed her husband who said, "My word, for $250 they could've at least ironed it!"

LMAO πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

miss Aboki the great said...

So on our way back from the farm on thursday, some soldiers stopped our pick up van filled with yams and asked us to give them some yams for sokora(pounded yam). My friends' uncle(we nicknamed him oracle) who has a very sharp mouth and can bad mouth people for Africa jumped down and started asking them if it was their father that planted the yam for him. The soldiers were obviously in a very good mood and one of them asked him to do frog jump. He refused and started paraing for them That he knows his right, he is a bonafide citizen of Nigeria and no one can intimidate him bla bla bla. Then we heard 'Paaa' one soldier don use left hand snap am. Then his language changed 'officer na joke i been dey joke' person no fit follow una play again?! I was very happy because the man don insult me for farm well well. We begged tire but the soldier insisted he must do the frog jump. Na so the man start. as he dey squat na so he dey release fart. The soldiers finally released us after collecting fifteen tubers of yam. He told people at home he was stung by a bee when asked the reason for his swollen lips but his wife told anyone who cared to listen that he was slapped by soldiers.
#original

Stella Igbokei said...

*When you are so single that even when you type* *"Kissing"..Auto correct changes it to "Kidding"*
May your story change in 2017...

Empress Windy. said...

I don't want to laugh alone, please join me in my laughing company. Enjoy!

"TAKE A BREAK AND LAUGH
kunda went to His Pastor One (1) Hot Monday Night .

Kunda: Pastor, the Enemies are after Me!

Pastor : My Son, what is it?

Kunda : My Business is Running Down.

Pastor : Ah!

That's a Small One (1)!

Kneel Down and let Me Pray for You.

Aahhhhh, Your Business will Surely Rise Again!

Our Church Members will Buy from You, My Family will Buy from You! I will visit to patronize u soon!

Aahhhhh, the Neighbors will Buy from You.

Aahhhhh, Say Amen.

Kunda : Amennnnnnn ooooooh Pastor!

Thank You Very Much Pastor.

Pastor : You're Welcome My Son.

By the Way, What Do You Sell?

So that I Can Announce it on Sundays and Weekdays Services.
Kunda : Oh Sir!

I Make and Sell Coffins.

Pastor: Fireeeeee!!!

Nobody will Buy from You!!!

I shall not know your shop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Family will Never See Your Shop!!!

Our Members will Never Buy from You!!!

I Decree and Declare, Your Business will Run Dry in Jesus Christ Mighty and Most Powerfully Name.......

Amen! Amen!! and Amen!!!

Hahaha Hahaha Hahaha Hahaha Hahaha Hahaha Hahaha.

Don't Laugh Alone."

Help Relieve Someone's Stress Level.πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ copied.

Victoria Omosuyi said...

Waiting to read gist. Elastic and Adeniji Bisi aka mc pinky over to you.

Bv D royalty, I trust your sense of judgement. Oya, let's go there.

oriolade said...

hello beeveess....hope u are all doing good..here goes moi gist
I have this friend who forms posh and have so many boyfriend which she claim they are only helpers. I have advised her so many times to stick to one guy but she no gree. so on this blessed day she went to this guy house,let me call him Ade. my friend and Ade were about going out when a girl out of the blues came to greet them. this girl was looking at my friend wickedly but my friend bone face.. what broke the Carmel's back was when Ade introduced my friend as his fiance,na there trouble start. the girl first use hand fling my friend face cap(na God save her wig. lol) my friend still dey form posh,dey talk say I don't know u she no know say the girl na confirm area girl.. the girl face Ade say na because of this thing he leave am abi,my friend see opportunity na so she call bike run...d girl pursue am,she self take bike. my friend see say she don enter gobe, she come down for bike dey beg everybody say make them no allow the girl beat am.. so people interfered,na so the area girl throw herself for floor say them dey support my friend,she stand up grab my friend cloth,she almost beat am,na people separate them.see tears for my friend eyes,na race she pick come home,she narrate her story,laugh wan kill me.I hope she learnt her lesson

Stella Igbokei said...

A woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach.

"that won't help you, Joe, you know"

"oh it help a lot" said the husband that is the only way I can see the numbers.

LOLZ

Isaacson said...

Nigerian condition is getting worst ooooo... Imagine! An accident occurred today 11 injured, 12 died. So d minister promised to offer N50,000 to d injured and N6 million to d dead for their funeral. One of the injured got up and laid where d dead were,immediately one of d dead shouted "Bros go back to ur place, no bring confusion come here, they don count us o abeg!

Favour A said...

Lol...gold digger... some girls eh

Uniq Gem said...

#Copied
#Modified πŸ˜€

SANDY NEKY said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


James' hater said...

Copied and stale

James' hater said...

Haba, make we kukuma die for you no. E no dey funny

James' hater said...

Bleeeeh, not funny

James' hater said...

Lol...i love her spirit

Miss Ferragamo said...

Lol

Anonymous said...

This joke is baeee!! The best ever..lmao

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha

Esther Mgbolu said...

Lol

Esther Mgbolu said...

Nnyaaaaaaaaaaammaaaaaaaah.*spitting*

SANDY NEKY said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚if i catch you eh!

SANDY NEKY said...

Disqualified! Ears for decoπŸ˜›

Ehi hairs and wigs UK said...

😁😁😁

Ehi hairs and wigs UK said...

That one go bad oo. Hahaha

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahahahhahaha

Ehi hairs and wigs UK said...

Not funny.

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahaa

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahhahahahaahahha

Anonymous said...

Pukes

Ehi hairs and wigs UK said...

Enjoy yourself bros.

Ehi hairs and wigs UK said...

Serves her right.

Darlington Chetam said...

this is my first joke entry, i decided to give at least a joke which wasn't a joke when it happened to me back then.
i was in jss1 (2006), i was 10 years old.so on this faithful day, i went to school and all of a sudden i discovered there's a war going on in my stomach (stomach upset) so i tried going to the school toilet during break. after break it started again, but this time around my people from my village was working really hard because one wicked teacher was inside in the class. i begged her i needed to leave the class she asked for what and i told her it's private then she said its my private business so that shouldn't affect her class and i should sit down an listen.
people of God! i held my anal sphincter as long as i could but finally i exploded.. the shit is finally out. i just kept a very straight face like i didnt do anything.. soon the whole class started complaining that something terrible is smelling. they now figured it was smelling around me. i just wanted to die or disappear but then again i decided to feign faint so i just feigned faint and i was taken home. i didn't go to school for one week and even when i returnrd to school my seatmate was gone and everybody was looking at me with their side eyes. i later learnt they couldn't stay in class throughout that day and the stenh carried on for three days lol

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahhahahahaahahha

popeyes said...

The policeman and the pissing fine was funniest for me.

Ehi hairs and wigs UK said...

Hahahaha Aboki you be bad gal oh. So they sill had the mind to collect a whole 15 tubers of yam.

Anonymous said...

I remember when we were kids going to nursery school.Mum warned i and my immediate elder brother never to walk on the main road. We were 6 and 8 years respectively. Bobo was playing on the main road

Me: Bobo leave the road. remember mummy warned us never to walk on the main road. i will tell mummy for you

Bobo: (still playing)

(when we got home)
me: mummy bobo was walking on the main road

Mummy: Bobo why were you playing on the main road

Bobo: Mummy i was playing on the MEN (Main) road while she was also playing on the women road too

EVERYBODY LAUGHS....The End
hope i made you smile..HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE

Gift

emmanuella marshall said...

Unto d next one

To date a girl who is not educated is a big problem.
Guy: good nite baby and sweet dreams
Girl: thanks my love and may your soul rest in peace

*the guy didnt sleep d whole night

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha,lwkmddddddddddddddd

#copied

Anonymous said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Olabanji Olajide said...

😭😭

Olabanji Olajide said...

πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜“πŸ˜“

Olabanji Olajide said...

😘😘😘😘

Olabanji Olajide said...

πŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ

Olabanji Olajide said...

πŸ˜ΈπŸ˜ΈπŸ˜ΈπŸ˜ΈπŸ˜ΈπŸ˜ΈπŸ˜ΈπŸ˜ΈπŸ˜ΈπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

Anonymous said...

I like

D'Royalty (Favour Unlimited) said...

Conditions for winning:

1.Anonymous gists and votes are invalid, only votes/gists from google IDs counts.
2.Indicate if your gist is original or copied
3.A bv can post more than one gist as long as they are funny. People want to be entertained, if you post more than one gist, any of them that meets the conditions for winning WINS!!
4.Your gist must have the highest nos of votes, lols, lmaos or other comments to indicate they are funny.
5.Multiple votes are invalid, you don't vote for more than one gist.

Fingertrickz #iMix #iProduce #iMaster #freeBies said...

This little tale takes place in a little courtroom down south and is guaranteed to make you smile...In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"AdvertisementShe responded, "Why, yes. I've known you since you were a little boy, and frankly you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people, and talk behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. So, in short, yes. Yes, I know you."The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"AdvertisementShe replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone. His law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women - one of them was your wife! Yes, I know him."The defense attorney nearly died.The judge asked both counselors to approachthe bench. When they did, he leaned over and in a quiet voice said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both tothe electric chair!"
#copied.
I too like this joke

Victoria Omosuyi said...

Chai. Anon 14:22,u for no go anon nau.
Hilarious.

Miss Kay said...

πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ’

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha

Anonymous said...

Lmfao, may ur soul rest in peace

Anonymous said...

Chai

Anonymous said...

Mtcheew, emmanuella marshall and dry joke.

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahhahahahha

emmanuella marshall said...

Anon take your stupid self out of here,rubbish

Mhiz Vee said...

Hehehehehe....this made me laugh real hard

ARTitude said...

Lol

Olayinka Opebi said...

Nice one. .. I really like your joke

Anonymous said...

Hahhahahahah

Jay Udoo said...

Buhahahahahahahahahaha.

Cyndilicious said...

Good mornin sory to disturb ur indulgence,this message goes out to all my family members friends and church members that I left behind to go and celebrate Christmas, pls this is a recent update on my weight..I hv added more weight nw,this Christmas I decided to eat like a pig,so dt I cn add more fat in d bad areas of my body dt is lacking vitamin,I gained soo much pounds dt am nw calculating my weight in pounds and dollarsπŸ˜‚,I ate soo much my chicks nw look like d had butt implants,my stomach is nw hanging out like loop of rings,so pls those of u CNN reporters dt ur mouth will be reporting what ur eye did nt witness,wen I see u nxt year,u cnt start my year with u have gained weight,my nose is nt deaf and dumb,I cn smell my own calories,since u like to speak d obvious,thr ar soo many things dt happend during the Christmas period that u can start with..Don jazzy is still nt married, wizkid is nw a super hero his an iron hanger,Donatus Ogene tufiakwa trump is nw d 46th president of the United States,my weight should nt be one of them..take note..#lolJustForLaffs

becky naka said...

Hahahahahahaha

Sand flies have finished me o

becky naka said...

Lol

becky naka said...

Lol, u no well.

becky naka said...

Hahahahaha

becky naka said...

Hahahahahaha

Rhoda Rex said...

Lol

Anonymous said...

This made me lol πŸ˜‚

Rhoda Rex said...

Lol

jaja said...

I love your joke jara.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahaha this really cracked me up lol.

vickz said...

Lolzzzzzzz niceee

emmanuella marshall said...

Thanks babes,u guys rock,I no my joke is funny cos I know where I dubbed it from..

anonymous?lol said...

Point 5 is silly. If multiple entries of jokes are allowed, multiple voting per entry is a given.

Housed-On-Water said...

Lol

Anonymous said...

Dry abeg. Wetin happen.

nkiru Iwuchukwu said...

Ghanaman tueh! Yuck dat was gross πŸ˜—

Anonymous said...

Chimissy,this is d best joke of d year for me.am still laughing o

Lora said...

Hahahaha....elastic should win something already bikk

sisi eko said...

Well done impostor

GOONs Mi said...

Hahahhahaha

GOONs Mi said...


Man: Marry me?
Woman: wat do u mean Mr?? OK, Do you have a
flat?
Man: No.
Woman: Do you have a Camry car?
Man: No.
Woman: How much is your salary?
Man: No salary, but,..
Woman: No but. You have nothing. How can I
marry you? Leave please b4 I open eye for u!
Man: well...... I have one estate, 3 landed
properties in GRA, 3 Ferraris, 2 Porsches and 2 G
wagon. Why do I still need to buy Camry. How
can I be paid salary when actually I'm the
BOSS...
Woman: that's why I told you to leave, cause am
coming to your house myself to propose to you.

#copied

Sisi Eko said...

Sisi eko is a general name. You are always fighting everyone who uses it. Please let it go or change. Thanks

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