Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Sunday, 1 January 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

JESUS CHRIST.....What!!!



STAND ALONE NARRATIVE...
A CHRONICLE THAT WILL SHOCK A LESSON INTO YOU
Nne chop kiss, your faithful follower since jalamia abi na jalabia days. This is gonna be long and all over the place but reason am, no abuse me biko.


I am in my early 30s and I have been married for 5yrs now with 2kids. Before I got married, I work like it's ticket to make heaven, I have like 4different people I help out with money and my parents. Little about me, I'm so quiet, it could be deafening, in contrast, I'm also the life of the party kinda person I am extremely giving to a fault, I will sell my things or go hungry for you without letting you know. 

I worked until I married based on agreement that I will stay home and watch the kids, good deal abi? Na so I enter am.


Before I was married, I never asked for anything cos I had my bachelors and did all that myself, now I know, ladies stop all these miss independent crap while dating ooo. Anyhow, I got married to my hubby, he is a surgeon. I got the best house and car, no bill, I don't work, kasun kaji enterprises. Good deal nooni right? Scratch that


Hubby no Sabi s3x, open leg, shuk johnson inside me, 2mins, done and he gets up. Who cares if I enjoy am or not, me as a person s3x is not food, I see Johnson, good, I no see Johnson, awesome. He is selfish as fuck, I drive the best car but I can't put fuel in it, you can't steal his money cos he doesn't bring his card or money home. 


He doesn't give money unless you ask, with a question of for what? If you ask for $10 randomly, he will ask for what and then decide if it's necessary. He buys groceries himself and brings home, he does most of the cooking but I have to put everything he needs outside. I am the maid, if the kids are playing in front of him in the living room with something dangerous, he will call me from wherever I am to come and attend to them, go and bring my glasses, go and bring my laptop, go and get me water, no please, na command, i want to fuck, open leg, if i say no, na force be that. He won't watch the kids, play with them for 5minutes and done, locks the door.


Now I can't take care of myself talk less of my parents, they had to find means to eat cos I don't give anymore since I got married. I still wear clothes from my single days, I carry my hair for 4months, he won't give money for that cos it's wastage of money. My in laws are a different story. If he sees money with me, that's when he needs money but me that I'm giving to a fault will give him all cos he said he needs it. 

We went to naija this year, he bought tickets and gave me $0 spending, I reach as liability to my Parents, he even collects the one my parents give me. I complained to his family and my hubby started defending himself, my people, me myself started believing I'm lying.


I gave birth to kids through c section, na cornflakes I chop when I reach home, cos MIL wont cook, I was involved in everything from lifting "adogan", drinks, tables, hubby and his mommy sees nothing wrong in me doing it, boy, was I in PAIN and still taking care of the baby and older kid, story for another.


I tried again for him to send us to naija again so that I can work, learn a trade sef or network for ways to make money since I have a bachelors degree, he agreed but when he got wind of my plans, he cancels on me.


I am tired but can I leave him, what will my reason Be, he won't let me work cos he won't pay daycare and I don't qualify for assistance cos his pay pass 5people salary, he doesn't give me money and my parents suffer that lack and he won't give them either, he complains about how much food the kids eat, Dirty as hell, forgetful, selfish, domineering bastard, I know it all, emotional abuser.


Point of this chronicle, open ya eyes before you marry, cos he is a doctor doesn't mean he will be a good spouse, get situated before having babies, I am miss independent, cut that crap.


Happy new year.



ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?What did i just read?This one is worse than a one chance..ITS A NO CHANCE!

DAMN!!!

216 comments:

1 – 200 of 216   Newer›   Newest»
LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Chai,sorry

zinny uwalaka said...

Hmmm first of all hppg new ur. Oya make I talk now. What attracted him to you? How long una date? Did you see traits of stinginess before marrying? Did you two plan your future together?

Ifeoma1010 said...

Madam, this your story na wa. Real wa!!! How did you hook up this hubby....whatttt?!!!! PLEASE, FLY OUTTA THETE JOR.


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Beloved said...

Chimmuoo
Even doctors that have the most caring occupation
Are we safe again ? !

peace maker said...

Madam.What exactly is ur dh's crime? I am glad u did not say he is cheating on you, Nigerian women's favorite anthem.

Anonymous said...

Stella I bet you've been scratching surface if chronicles.. there some reading in worse situations compared to many you've put up so far.. Marriage is beautiful but human complicate it!! @ Break lose out of those chains the man is TOXIC!!!

zinny uwalaka said...

I discussed this issue with my sister and I said" women are not prayerful n patient. We look on the outside and not on the inside. What we see outside can be deceitful. Ask for the will of God?marriage no be child's play. Look before jumping

Anonymous said...

Later some broke ass fool will say babes like money, let me like money biko. What is miss independent I dunno what it is abeg. When you can spend money il activate love, no romance or love without finance abeg.

Hisssssss

Blackberry said...

I'm confused!
He's rich, but he collects money from you?
You can't talk or defend yourself or what?
You guys agreed he'll pay u allawee to stay at home n watch kids, then he backed outta d deal and u kept quiet?
I'm 'not understanding' thos gist.
Happy new year!

Chike TEFLON said...

Poster, you have chronicle this new year?
Kneel down let me pray for you.

Your chronicle shall be turned into testimony in Jesus name... AMEN

My beloved, go it is well with you.

Stella Igbokei said...

it's well. have u tried getting a job since u have a degree? that will help you in a way.

Anonymous said...

Most of these doctors are like that jare...

Anonymous said...

Wow. Poster I'm so sorry for all you're going through. The worst thing that can happen to a woman is to MARRY a stingy man! At least in relationships you can break up. I too, I am like you- Miss Independent to a fault. I thought men liked that trait in women, I have come to realize that you should NEVER completely open up to a man. If you have 100, act like you have 1. Let him take care of your every need. Unless of course, you asked him out.

It also seems to me there's no love in your marriage, and you married a generally selfish man. Male doctors are very narcissistic, STINGY and downright crazy but this your husband's own is too much.

Oh, and when he asks you for money why do you give him? From where? You are giving the impression that you have and you can care for yourself. Stop it.

That Igbo loving Yoruba girl. said...

So how long do u intend to put up with him? I'm sry for what ure going through. Happy new year.

peace maker said...

Madam.U called ur dh a domineering bastard?? But u go still spread leg and open Toto for him. Smh

Chike TEFLON said...

Poster, let me tell you the truth, passing 6 no be passing sense.
Some people are educated fool.
Sometimes some educated people will display some character that will keep me wondering if they ever see a school gate in their life.
Touch your heart and say "it is well even inside well"

Anonymous said...

A Lot of male doctors I know are stingy womanizing bastards. Stingy man tufiakwa

code009 said...

This one stella shout so. Make I take am easy read....

Atheist ™ said...

How some women walk into marriage & have the mindset ure in prison knocks my hat off, do u see ur wedding band as a handcuff?? "WE" men treat u based on ur carriage & charisma, the slight sign of weakness & mumu submission would give an irrational man the upper hand to go full throttle on ur ass, take it from some1 knows a thing or two about human psychology..... Madam, to a certain degree, you handed that ingrate (ur husband) a loaded gun to fire continuously..... Its not like u don't hv the credentials or criteria to work, wats keepin u from standing up 4urself damnit!! Illusion can also be very bad, keep a bird in a cage for months, when u eventually open that cage, that bird wouldn't fly out immediately, even wen it does, it'd fly right back..... FUCK FEAR!!!! Take charge of your life, ure a human being, live for urself.

Loveme Jeje said...

What a sad story. Tell him you want to buy something for the housekeeping and let's see if money will not come out.

Authoritative man, Na military school your hubby go. Chai this is really sad. Pretend as if you are dying and tell someone you can confide to help out. It is well

Anonymous said...

Hmm. True talk. I usually do miss independent too bcuz I have a stable job but his isn't. but yesterday night I told him clear, this is a new year, you are going to take care of me completely. I don't want story that touches d heart when we eventually get married.

BluntChic said...

Dear future hubby. Let this be clear to you... YOUR MONEY IS OUR MONEY WHILE MY MONEY IS FOR ME, MY KITCHEN AND KIDS ALONE....

BTW, Madam did you go to the abroad through him? Maybe he feels if you are independent, you wouldn't know how to manage the conflicting role of being a worker and a mother.

Talk to him.... He isn't that bad,

peace maker said...

From the language u used against the ur husband and father of ur children, I can deduce that u r ill mannered.This is the reason ur dh don't play with u.so that u don't talk to him anyhow.

EESAH (ORDINARY ME) said...

Madam this your chronicles isn't a difficult one. These are issues a couple can easily resolve once you marry your bestfriend. Besides what were you both discussing during dating and courtship? Sex and just having sex? Coz these are issues couples need to discuss before narriage. Anyways your chronicles ain't no biggie jare

I'm outtie

Jay said...

Hey don't scare me now cos am dating a doctor but lemme read comments. Will be right back.

Housed-On-Water said...

Let me learn from others advice

Lizzy Berry Weds Atheist 2017 said...

Cheiii nne sorry o... It's indeed a bed of torns for you,,,sorry u went into the marriage with ur both eyes wide opened, u weren't blind.... U better stay with ur husband,,, for better or worse!
U carry hair for 4months??? Big woman? God have mercy on ur 🐴 band

Isaacson said...

God pls fix it....sorry to say but your marriage is in bondage my dear,ladies never agree to be just a house wife no matter how caring hubby is,if things do not work out what then will you fall back on,and your parents and siblings mustn't depend on your man that is how see finish and insult come to ur family later,no matter how small try and do something,if he loves you he will see good reasons,nothing like I want you to take good care of my kids and home and i am making enough to sustain us and do not want you stressing yourself...many women have made that mistake and paid dearly later for it

GORRETI BAE said...

Didn't know there would be a chronicle today oo.. Much more this?? Shocked

code009 said...

You see life.

NORTH DAKOTA SIOBHAN(SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED) said...

Madam, from your narrative, you loathe your husband. Why don't you divorce him? Why live with someone that repulses you this much?
I fear for your husband..
Take your kids and go before you wake up one day and decide to end his life.
You hate someone this much and you still live with him? It's unhealthy and I don't get it.




Dum Spiro spero.

Anonymous said...

Madam why can't u leave? U are obviously in a country where things work, u can leave him and get him to pay u child support, why do u chose a life of misery? This is ridiculous. You are basically a fool and I can't deal. Look at how u speak of him with such disdain. He has all these bad qualities u resent and u stay and are complaining and acting like u are chained to a pathetic life. Go on. He commands u to bring him stuff and u do it because u are what. Mehn FOH u don't deserve the strength I'm using to type this. Get some self esteem and know ur self worth. I am married and live in the diaspora and will never ever take half this shit. This got me so pissed. Hiss

IamJustMe XOXO said...

Poster I can't say anything, just Speechless all I can say is wow, wow, wow, this is the height of it all, may God save us all from this mess. Please ehn just try and do something haa, carrying hair for four months. Jeez and he has money, are you sure he doesn't have a main chick. Biko carry your bag and go O. He won't allow you work, neither does he give you money, does he want you to die, damn society joor and take a a walk

One trillion said...

End time domestic help

jay said...

Whaaat?

Anonymous said...

Imagine you asking what will your reason be? So name exactly one thing u are enjoying in the marriage? Are u married to satisfy humanity? U never suffer oh... the guy is sick if u like waste away. You are just existing not living. There is more to life than this, pls get out of that marriage and live

Emilia Peter said...

Omg women re suffering oooooooo. My dear dnt leave.

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

Happy newyear bvs....🍹😎

Dannys said...

Who gave birth to this kind of men? How can a sane man be this callous even to his own children.Animals in human skin.

queen hadassah said...

I blame his parents. please bvs lets raise our sons and daughters to become good husbands and wives respectively. Dear Poster I sympathize with u.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately there are many well educated men like that. Worse thing is when you're stuck with them in a foreign country as you depend on them for everything. To the outside world you're living large but a fly on the world will tell you what the real deal is inside. Ladies, marriage isn't everything please. Look and watch carefully and patiently before you agree to get married...even that doesn't guarantee anything. It is well!

divalicious said...

Tell him u want to leave him and see his reaction

Scarlett said...

I'm speechless. I have nothing to say.

corisande said...

This is serious!
This is scary!
This is scandalous!

This left me short for words.

Jenny zee said...

Everybody ha sheen with Stella since Islamic abi na jalabia daysπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚issorite

Anonymous said...

You've said it all. I think you have the answers you seek. This is the height of emotional abuse sha. Una dey try oh. And this kind of man will be very faithful. He won't cheat on you laiye. He won't even drink or smoke. So when you complain you now look stupid to yourself and others.!

My ex had a good job too (6 digits a month in Nigerian currency) but I picked on some levels of egocentricity and pride. Also discovered that he doesn't like kids (never wanted to play with my sisters kids when he comes home), hates church (even though his family is staunch MFM) and hates correction. Then when I advice him and he sees its working to say 'thank you' or give progress report na wahala. He will say he doesn't have to check back with you. Loves taking advice from everyone else but me. 'This one said, that one said'. Okay.... oga which one WE say? I believe in partnership in marriage. I didn't get that feeling of 'na me and you for this life'.

He wasnt stingy but me sef na agbero when it comes to coining out money from a man's hand. I have my own oh but I like your own too. However, when one of my besties heard how much he earns through his junior colleague, she sat me down one fine Sunday evening and asked me if I'm sure I know what I'm doing. That she knows me to coin out more money from people who earn less. So what is going on? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I guess I was in love. She knew I was looking for a small loan to add and conclude on one small plot of land. But I couldn't ask him because he will quarrel. 'It's not important. If it's important you won't need a loan for it. Leave it'. As she was talking I was just smiling back. I no fit talk πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Started adding one stupid weight. Me I told him oh. This isn't how I met you. Please watch it. Let's cut down. Quarrel! 'Are these things important in life? It doesn't affect my bank balance'. But I was losing the attraction. The neck was getting shorter and shorter. Pot belly became a stumbling block. Duuh! Dress sense nko? Gosh! I TRIED but old habits die hard.

I just thought to myself.... relationships shouldn't be this hard should they? I quickly asked him for break. And he's still hanging around. Asking if he should come for my mums birthday later this month. I would just ignore his messages after this new year. He's now jogging 20km a day and posting on social media πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚so I can see. Apparently, my whole family jubilated when I told them I wanted to quit. The same people telling me 'Oya oh we need inlaw' before I met him were now saying 'ehn... just relax it will happen please dont rush' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ them no want make I enter one chance.

Relationship wahala πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Anonymous said...

But unfortunately this is the story of most doctor marriages in the west where the wife is not working. People go through so much and you wonder if the guy ever loved you. His family walk all over you and you can't even help your folks and friends in Naija.

Anonymous said...

It's frustrating not to have a dime to take care of yourself. Jeeeeeeez.

That's the situation I found myself after marriage too. But now I have given myself brain. NO to mediocrity because of one man

Bekee-Bekee said...

@ Poster, welcome to 2017 first and foremost. This is the year you need to take a firm stand. If you believe in yourself and your skills as you stated in this your epistle, you will stand your ground and go get yourself a damn job. Women's right is not a joke in the US so please liaise with a group and help your condition. Even if hell let's loose, what other hell can be worse than the current situation you are in. Wake up now before that your Hubby totally destroys your self worth.

Haba which Kain Jan 1st Chronicle be this. Op, please wise up.

Rosie and kids said...

Eyah! Poster Pele oh! I almost got married to a surgeon with the same character if you were not in Yankee I would have vowed you married him.I had to run with my two legs when I saw traces of his character and told him to his face I was not desperate and can never end up with someone like him as a husband.Me that like being pampered like a baby. Thank God for the wisdom to leave.
But women are the cause of their own troubles, why will you ever agree to be a stay at home mum. I bet you saw the signs but you were hoping he will change. You better go out there and get a job, if he won't pay for baby sitting then beg your parents or siblings to help out with the first pay and subsequently you can pay from your salary. Go out there and do something for yourself stop building your world around a man that doesn't give a shot about you. For crying out loud your parents didn't pay your way through school to become a glorified house help. Even house helps earn their pay. Much said!

Anonymous said...

@ Anonymous, you have no idea how she got to this point. I am sure it started gradually. Am going anonymous on this to say something.
My hubby tells me to repeat what he has said if we are talking and he wants something done. I have told him I don't like it it is demeaning. But no he says am proud and don't like correction. Sometimes things start to happen and you at some point you start to believe the wrong things are right. This is what has happened to this lady and she has no clue on how to go about leaving. Its unfortunate. And more reason why is cos she doesn't have money. If she did she would have left.
@ Poster, may God open your eyes to see what you can do. Connect with people where you are, see if you can raise money and leave that country completely.
Some men are mean silently and you won't know.

Anonymous said...

Get out of this marriage ASAP.
Don't start any big wahalla.
Na best thing this be.
Don't go back.

Anonymous said...

Most doctors abroad are like this. Their wife go through hell. They are stingy and social misfits. They think you should be grateful for the air you breathe. They forget that their wife is also a graduate. They shop for the house and don't give their wife any money. They remember only their parents and siblings but ignore the wife's family.

Single Mom said...

Some men are just something else, they always fell they r doing women a favour what nonsense, it is high time you open up and tell him your mind because you can't continue living like a maid in your own home. Tell him how people need your financial assistance especially your parents and for your sanity if he is not up to the task, he should allow you work

Anonymous said...

I don't even understand your story.hmm Stella, all my comments are not being enabled for days now. Watin I do

Imported Suzzy Lalaagbon said...

All ds doctores self...

300 said...

This Has Nothing To Do With Miss Independent. A Good Man, Is Good. And A Useless Man,Is Useless . My Ex Will Always Check My Plate To See If My Meat Is Bigger Than His Own Etc. Long Throat Is His Middle Name. Sometimes, Check Their Up Bringing.

PASTOR'S DAUGHTER said...

Hmmmmm na sit down dey look I dey now

nnuku Sexy pant-like boxers. 08170506432 Order now said...

Hian!

becky naka said...

I like

Anonymous said...

Your reason for leaving him should be for emotional,psychological and financial neglect. Go to your local libraries and ask for any charitable organisation that can help you out or call social services( make a private appointment with them).
Since he has the money, he will pay through his nose for child support.
Also find out what you are qualified for (just to make sure he is not collecting it without you knowing) and also for the kids too. If you are in UK, I can advice you more on it.
Some of this men are nothing to write home about.

ganglion said...

My dear, don't be scared. Some doctors are good. I will advice: look beyond the profession and finances, and see if you can cope with his personality. Wish you luck. I am a doctor anyway.

Zitel Coconut oil Onitsha 08081725441 said...

Nawah ooo. This life sef

nkiru Iwuchukwu said...

Chai!! Sorry o this one pass one chance o Na armed robber motor she enter o.Dont know what kind of advice to give o

St.FranKooL.... said...

Poster, you are a married housemaid. Truth be told. To break the chains, you need to be more assertive...

Anonymous said...

His crime is emotional,psychological,financial neglect. He is practically driving the woman insane .

Who'sThatGirl doubleuteegee said...

My goodness, he's dirty too chai

Did you date this man at all? Or was it all this sharp sharp arrangee marriage and you just went with the flow cos he's doing well

I ask cos even if you form miss independent, a smart mind will not miss that stingy aspect okay let's say you missed that. Did you also miss his domineering character? Bad hygiene? Ewww. He pretended real good? Sister pls.

When people date, shouldn't they be having deep convos, ask questions? talk about future situations/scenar os and watch how their patners react/respond. What do y'all do when in a relationship? How can you relate with someone and not discover any of this annoying traits until you married him. You're obviously fed up, cos for you to refer to your husband as a "bastard" a domineering one chai, You must swallowed a lot that it's beginning to choke you

End time slavery!

He's definitely not changing except there is divine intervention

You obviously don't want to leave otherwise you won't even be here seeking advice

This your ordeal is too toxic and can cause mental illness, listening or reading it alone can cause mental depression. No one should endure this nonsense, no one! Goodluck with whatever decision you take.

This is not even about not forming miss independence. It's about engaging your brain cells while dating before saying I do. Ladies, Have something Goin on for you, do your research properly. I know there are no straight rules to follow but at least some of these palava can be avoided. Of course some people pretend but you won't be severely burnt when they decide to show their jerk/nasty true self if you are plan well

Oh

Bukipreety said...

This is serious ooooo

Olaide Ogunmola said...

Nawa o, na divorce straight, his life results are as follows:
S3x=20%
Caring =10 %
Understanding =2%
Abuser =100 %
Abeg divorce am with immediate effect



NEXT

Jenny zee said...

U are mentally unbalanced, u need help

Anonymous said...

This atheist guy/babe chop kiss Biko! U just hit d nail on d head making sense since like forever. Woman take charge of ur life, learn an hand work start buying nod selling with d lil change u have at hand, make lemonades outa d lemon you've got dear. Watch dat ur horse band come back to his senses!

miiii said...

Thank you. A good man appreciates you whether you are missing independent or not. I was and still one and my husband appreciates me like that. We use his money to work on our project and mine to support the home monthly. He does not hesitate to tell people how much a support I have been to him. Don't tell me he's using me cos all properties docs are in my name or children's. This one is just a bad man abeg......

sense world said...

U r wicket, lmaoooo

SANDY NEKY said...

Hmmmmmm poster,na real one chance you enter fa. Imagine the stingy man always buying groceries home by himself. Majority of the male docs i know are radicals and fuckaholics. Hes spending his money on his mistresses. Ewoo, i weep for you. Dont know why you agreed in the ist place to leave your miss ind before going into the marriage. Open eyes kia kia and threaten him that its either he places you on a monthly salary or something since he dosent want you to work or otherwise.....This is a new year, no dulling pls. Ladies shine your eyes like the poster has already adviced. Theres nothing like making your own money before or while in marriage oo. It gives some sort of confidence and 'respeck' pls.

Anonymous said...

Chikito, is this you??

Anonymous said...

Madam
You agreed to be a stay at home wife, your hand was not forced.

Next time, think through every decision. Most Nigerian men that advocate for stay at home wife only want to control the woman.

Moreover, do you think it is easy taking care of the kids, you, him and also saving for the future. Unless your husband is a billionaire and a giver ,that is when you consider it but even at that, billionaire wives work.

Some Nigerian ladies working, do so because they are single or haven't found someone to take care of them, once they have someone to marry and he is slightly well to do,if he ask them to leave their job, they wouldn't think twice before giving in. They wouldn't even list the cons of such move.

Nigerian ladies dream to marry a rich man, and sit at home all day and watch soap operas.

Explain to him that you want to start working.

KING XOXO MYSTERY

Anonymous said...

That's really serious

Eloho said...

Na wa oo...things like this makes one not want to get married. Horrible stories everywhere. Madam take heart.

Tetrina said...

Your comment just made my day! Women need to stop, think and definitely take charge!Let's have less *shock factor* chronicles this year.

Atheist ™ said...

If u like discuss issues for 10 bloody yrs b4 marriage, some ppl remove their mask in the 1st yr of marriage.... Marriage is such a gamble.

Jenny zee said...

It's surprising o, u stay abroad nd can't use d law to manipulate him? Is this what u want to live with for the rest of ur life? So u can't even send money home to ur parents? Women in Nigeria are suffering abuse nd u dey abroad still de suffer abuse, can't u find a job without his knowledge nd tell him u want to work, then look for a child minder for ur kids?

Freddy Krueger said...

Poster fast and pray and if there is no change in him then look for a way to report him to awon iyalaya, not only will he behave himself, he will sign his money over to you. Be wise. Some men need firm spiritual disciplining. You are not harming him in any way but you will be the better for it. You do not need to leave your marraige my sis. There are ways to keep men on the leash for life.

Quiksilver said...

My money is mine alone. Future hubby' s money is for me,the kids,kitchen, school, cars, Generator, everything...You name it

Freddy Krueger said...

Poster fast and pray and if there is no change in him then look for a way to report him to awon iyalaya, not only will he behave himself, he will sign his money over to you. Be wise. Some men need firm spiritual disciplining. You are not harming him in any way but you will be the better for it. You do not need to leave your marraige my sis. There are ways to keep men on the leash for life.

Valentine Onochie said...

Didn't you see"contract marriage " in the chronicle?

Valentine Onochie said...

Isorait

DonMayor πŸ‘‘ said...

Happy New year to you. You hear ?

STELCH 1 said...

You've said my mind... God Bless..

talk Talk said...

Hmmm

Dr Chy! said...

I'm pretty sure you didn't date this man, maybe it was all arranged, anyways u have to stand ur ground, enough is enough. I'm guessing he Has something else he spends on, probably another family maybe.... #E-hugs.

JACINTA MBACHU said...

Nawaoooo

Atheist ™ said...

Lol... U no well

ukwu dimond said...

Poster five years no be moi mio, I cannot agree to stop my work just to take care of the kids, if you want me to stop working then you have to open a big shop for me and that must be done before I stop work. After all d suffering I did in school just to get a degree, somebori is telling me to stop work and take care of the kids. As you lay your bed so shall you sleep on it, who miss independent ever epp?

Carry your cross, it will be best you both call a family meeting and discuss this issue, I can't stand the aspect of having one hair style for 4 months, na dada you carry for head? Biko I cannot deal with such, maybe your husband want you to get a side boo that will be performing his duties. Come oh he is an indomie man, and still he cannot spend on you, nne you are trying. Weldon oh, the Lord is your muscles.

Anonymous said...

Madam poster, I used to be like you. You need to open up to someone who can help you (emotionally and maybe financially). Think hard. There must be someone in your area. Maybe in church? No a holy nweje who will tell you to go back and make your marriage work o.

You are a good girl but you need to drop all your good girl ASAP. Start lying to him. Small lies. Smart ones. Save up a little money. Stop the giving. You HAVE TO FOCUS ON YOURSELF!!!!! Change your mindset! Yourself first (it's just for a little while).

Be brave. After you have saved a little, stop acquiescing to his rude requests Speak up. It's simple. "I will no longer be carrying out commands, only requests prefaced with a please from now on". That's all you have to say. Then carry it out to the letter. Remember, you have your back up friend to help you with a roof over your head.

Or you may have to go to a shelter. Once you accept this possibility then nothing will stop you. Start planning your escape. You are scared of the temporary lack you will suffer. He has made you believe you can't survive without him and you have started believing it. IT'S NOT TRUE.

You are better than this. You need to leave him. Don't let your children grow up thinking this is what marriage is supposed to be like. Do it for your children.

If you sometimes daydream about killing him, sister, it is time to leave. STOP ALL THE EXCUSES. You can do it.

If he ever hits you, even better. Drop your Naija brain. Call the police immediately.

In the meantime, call the National Abuse Hotline. Hear what they have to say.

*omojeje* says so

Anonymous said...

Take 5 atheist! U just hit d nail on d head! Madam poster,u hv to learn how to stand up to ur husband o!u can't be suffering in silence anymore o!he has to learn to tk responsibility of u and his kids! Wat kind of stingyness is dat?dats y I don't date stingy men,not to talk of marrying dem! Madam take charge,begin to assert ur own authority!enough of ur husbands pettiness and stingyness biko!i wish u all d best!

Anonymous said...

Na real neck getting shorter!i had a good laugh. Great advice by the way.

Anonymous said...

1000 likes!

1nigeriangirl said...

You did not tell us why you married him ma. With all your education, one would expect you'd know better than to accept to be a stay at home mom. We won't start berating your husband cos you saw the signs and married him. The options before you are to leave or to stay. Choose wisely cos we won't choose for you

Joy Okanje said...

There is nothing like love and friendship in marriage. Sorry Na u take ur leg enter take your leg.....

ukwu dimond said...

@ Atheist on point since 190000, @ EESAH some men can pretend for Africa until you become their wife then you will see the beast in them. The end point is to marry your friend, a man that loves you, love God and fear God that is all you need.

Anonymous said...

A lot of girls have already fallen into this through December/January. Many "abroad boys" have come home and the pussies have followed them.

Madam poster, when you were "going abroad" you didn't write chronicles; did you?

Just three words for you;

WORK IT OUT!

Anonymous said...

At 15:55 Your line @" may God open your eyes to see what you can do" hmmmmmm hmmmm.. At poster the day you will receive the extra 6th sense the confident you will feel and motivation you will get will blow you away. I thought I was no do well totally depending on a TOXIC man until the LORD opened my eyes to see what I could begin at and with!!!!!

Ijora 1 said...

Always feeling grandiose Cus they have women at their beck and call. Very stingy people, that's why they marry from their profession Cus Na only their women dey fit understand them.

Na only prick them get, no money.

Ijora 1 said...

Always feeling grandiose Cus they have women at their beck and call. Very stingy people, that's why they marry from their profession Cus Na only their women dey fit understand them.

Na only prick them get, no money.

Vivilicious said...

Which kain most caring occupation. Most of dem are stingy joor.

Amaka Nwizu said...

No be small end time domestic help!

Abroad husband that you barely know, see where u v landed urself.

Amaka Nwizu said...

No be small end time domestic help!

Abroad husband that you barely know, see where u v landed urself.

Amaka Nwizu said...

Just imagine! A man that compares meat. Poverty tie some people rope o. Hian!

Amaka Nwizu said...

Just imagine! A man that compares meat. Poverty tie some people rope o. Hian!

Miss Ferragamo said...

Is cheating the only crime in marriage?

Anonymous said...

Thank you @ Atheist

Anonymous said...

I need to meet the person that sent in this chronicle.. it's like am reading the story of my life... I am shaking right now. Wow! She just sent in my life story.

Miss Ferragamo said...

That shows how domineering he is

Anonymous said...

Thank you anonymous 16.12 Peace maker be asking stupid questions with it's silly brain.

Miss Ferragamo said...

You love atheist this much?

GOONs Mi said...

🎢🎡🎢🎡Shine your eyes, Shine your eyes well well, look your back, look your back well well🎡🎀🎡🎀🎢🎺🎷🎹🎻🎼🎸............*in daddy showkeys voice*


Affiong Ekanem said...

What is this one saying

Anonymous said...

@Quicksilver and other women that think hollow;

If you come with this mindset of "my money is mine alone" . . .when the man dies, you will have just "my money" with you; that's if it is still there. The fact is that you will not have any access to "his money" in terms of being able to cash from it. Same with is investments.

Have seen a lot of these issues. A very wealthy man died and his "wife" had to borrow money to claim his corpse for burial; which she also borrowed money to achieve. She and her kids began begging from day one.

How about marrying someone you can grow wealth together with? How about having such conversation in courtship?

The fact is that a lot of ladies spend courtship having sex instead of conversations!

Anonymous said...

My dear. Just like me! You see, iv been dating this guy for 3 years now and in d beginning Twas rossy, gives me money and all but after sometime he stopped o. Like for 2years plus now, he hasn't given me 5naira and keeps telling me how much he'll spoil me etc. iv been patient and all. But I'm seriously tired of all that. I'll have a problem and tell him about and and he'll do nothing about it speak plenty English and advice and it'll end there. Iv cheated on him with many guys for too long but the thing is I don't sleep with them cos I'm still a virgin. I just wonder when the time will come cos seriously, I'm tired. I love him but I feel I'm settling. I can't even explain many instances where he has failed me. I can package very well and I'm very beautiful. D iPhone I'm using, it's a guy I dated while dating him that bought it for me. Did u know I met him with his friends one day and they were hailing him later that his money is showing on me and he didn't utter a word to tell them he doesn't give me money. He was just smiling. I can't even tell my friends cos it's embarrassing. Kai! He's very rich. Earns in millions. He has a range and a gwagon. His siblings all r rich too. I'm just tired aunt stella please post this cos I need advice and I'm tired of doing many things for myself and he's taking d glory. I'm not asking for too much o. At least even 5,000 naira sometimes can help. I traveled to visit him one time and he gave me just 2,000 to come back and that was my tp. Making mouth that he'll give me plenty money next time.

Grace@work said...

Even wen u say no, he forces ur leg open, that rape, my ex use to do this to me b4 i run 4 my life, na am happily marry., abeg come back to naija and make good of ur life.

Jasmine said...

Lol...Dunno why this chronicles is funny to me.

Hello, miss independent formers!!!

Jasmine said...

Say what???

Doctors r worse.

Jasmine said...

Kikiki. Broke guys r the ones always complaining that women love money.

SANDY NEKY said...

Fuck fear!!! Tankio!

Jasmine said...

Can I kiss u?

Jasmine said...

Even if u guys discuss for 20 years before marriage, if he wants to change, he will

oguike akudo said...

Wow! What a marriage! All thanks to Jessica my roommate back in the days who taught me the squeezing game.DH can't try this with moi. My fellow women please even if your hubby is a billionaire earn your own money o! And save so much biko!

Anonymous said...

I almost entered the same thing. Called it off 3weeks ago.ladies pls don't let desperation get the better part of you

Anonymous said...

I like you atheist. Be my friend

She-who-must-not-be-named said...

Ogbeni, you spoke my mind jare. Madam poster pls over to you

Imu Wiya said...

Quiksilver, you're too funny.

Anonymous said...

There always tow sides to a story ... i am a man i live in the state and understand her point of view but i am sure when her husband tells his own story its gonna be a different ball game my wife drives an expensive car and i just recently got a a 4 bedroom duplex but that dont mean i am a perfect husband i am sure if she was the one writing this chronicles she would leave the best for the worst i dont judge from a one sided story even Jesus who gave his life fpr us some people still feel he shouldnt have died ... always 3 sides to every chronicle the the man the woman and the truth...

She-who-must-not-be-named said...

I've come to realize that men like independent women but still want to feel needed. God made them male (the head) for a reason. Ask them for help once in a while even when you have. believe me they love it secretly. Makes them think there in control.

Anonymous said...

I am married to a doctor too and suffer the same,but we stay in Nigeria...two years into the marriage Istood my grounds aand applied for a Job against his wish and wen I got the job he said I should choose my job or marriage. O course I chose my job and he stood up and cursed me.he has two cars but I hope keke.I don't care I am saving to buy my own.I can't remember him buying me anything for the past four years.poster stand your ground look or a job if you can't leave.

Tuscany @onimisibespoke said...

Like i have preached severally on this blog, that a man is rich doesnt mean he is generous. Its better to be with a generous partner than a rich partner. This situation people will be insulting you thinking you are stingy not knowing what you are in

D BOSS LADY said...

Poster,i sorry for u wella. Your story reminded me of someone so much and am grateful i came across this blog today. we ladies need to shine our eyes and really look beyond the finances and good looks and other material things and see if we can deal with the personality involved. fine face and swag wont save a MARRIAGE OR CHANGE A STINGY MAN FOR THE BETTER. MY ADVISE TO YOU THIS NEW YEAR IS TO PRAY AND SIT HIM DOWN AND TRASH OUT THESE SALIENT ISSUES ESPECIALLY THE ISSUE OF MONEY AND SEX.I BET YOUR ANGER RESIDES BTW THOSE TWO.IF IT IS TAKEN CARE OF,AM SURE UR MARRIAGE WILL HAVE MORE LIFE. IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO CHANGE,MY DEAR I THINK ITS BEST YOU TAKE A WALK. ALL THE BEST.

Noirxvn X said...

Namesake!!! πŸ˜„πŸ˜€

Housed-On-Water said...

Lol

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

May God save people in bad marriage n give them a new beginning.

Poster,is as if u have accepted your fate.

Anonymous said...

After reading all the advice BV's gave the chronicles lady, little wonder SnM has over 1000 request that madam Stella has to stop enabling comments, Madam, life is what you make it, call your husband, what is it you want? I want to. Go back to work Dear mi,before I met you, I have people depending on me for their upkeep like my aged parents, Nigeria's economy is tight now, you are not supporting them, I want to go back to work and start supporting them again, moreso, we will get a maid to look after the kids,go back to work, change your wardrobe, get a facial and a full body makeover, join a gym, free your mind and take life as it comes, it's a new year, please ease up with the chronicles, life is what you make it

cupcake said...

Me too

mamadu said...

Dear poster, sorry for all you are going through but errrm deeply,I fear for your husband. I fear you may commit a crime because of the hatred you have for him,please don't:it's not worth it at all. I sense you are not willing to leave the marriage for reasons obviously best known to you but that's ok too. My advice is try and get online jobs where you can stay at home and work, I know someone who makes about 3000usd/month from that,as long as you're legal o! All the best as you take charge of your life,cheers

mamadu said...

Dear poster, sorry for all you are going through but errrm deeply,I fear for your husband. I fear you may commit a crime because of the hatred you have for him,please don't:it's not worth it at all. I sense you are not willing to leave the marriage for reasons obviously best known to you but that's ok too. My advice is try and get online jobs where you can stay at home and work, I know someone who makes about 3000usd/month from that,as long as you're legal o! All the best as you take charge of your life,cheers

chiksman24 said...

All the men pray with me, say:

"MY FATHER MY FATHER!!!

DON'T MAKE ME A MONSTER IN MY MARRIAGE"

OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND PRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coco said...

Poster most men are like that, may God fix your home for U

Blessedcutiebabes said...

You are very much correct ! Most Nigerian Doctors in Diaspora are like that. And I know of one doctor & 2 pharmacist guys who were like this too. All 3 of them are now divorced!

Anonymous said...

Babe Pls move on from this guy.it will only get worse after marriage when the excitement has died down

Who'sThatGirl doubleuteegee said...

Thank you o! My point exactly @ your last statement.

This one didn't spend time doing anything sef cos the sex too na one chance lol (still team mermaid sha)

Anonymous said...

Same thing i thought, this is definitely chikito

Anonymous said...

Peace maker's brain is empty,very shallow person ... I saw d rubbish she posted on "domestic violence" *my only mistake was reading it ...Peace maker iti, iti akwu,iti mpataka, iti bunkom... let me stop here ...it's a new year..borrow urself brain.

Anonymous said...

Anon 17:38

He knows you've been cheating on him. It seems he's just waiting to fuck you, and he'll dump you completely. Trust me, every man has a girl (or boy) he's spending money on without being asked.

Anonymous said...

Peace maker plz read and understand before you type.

Anonymous said...

Peace maker plz read and understand before you type.

Anonymous said...

Atheist Biko this is 2017 ...let's be friends inbtw am not anoy 18:21

Anonymous said...

As an atulu (sheep) that u is nau

Anonymous said...

Poster thinks she is giving good advice but only fools will buy I to this. Go and work on your marriage. Ozuo. If you divorce him, na you lose.

Anonymous said...

As an atulu (sheep) that u is nau

Anonymous said...

I love you Atheist.

Anonymous said...

Aabeg madam grow some balls ojare!i married a man who would give his sidechick money and leave me and my kids to our fate,when I was tired of squatting becos he won't pay rent I gave birth on the 7th resumed work on the 8th,nobody knew.today I have my small money and im still hustling.dem tie ur leg for yankee?beetter make ur life what u want and stop waiting for a man oh.im an abandoned woman but I survived and I have my respect.grow some balls or a vagina ma.....,its tougher.

Anonymous said...

Aabeg madam grow some balls ojare!i married a man who would give his sidechick money and leave me and my kids to our fate,when I was tired of squatting becos he won't pay rent I gave birth on the 7th resumed work on the 8th,nobody knew.today I have my small money and im still hustling.dem tie ur leg for yankee?beetter make ur life what u want and stop waiting for a man oh.im an abandoned woman but I survived and I have my respect.grow some balls or a vagina ma.....,its tougher.

Madam Zeezah said...

I love u

Anonymous said...

Gbam!!!
He's a very toxic character, enjoys to poison someone's happiness, stifle them from personal success & further development or growth, he enjoys the atmosphere of misery & watching desperation of somwine close to him ( playing god syndrome) and he's very mean spirited & shamefully stingy.

Women becareful who you marry!
It has far reaching implications especially if children is involved.
You may appear healthy physically, but completely damaged and destroyed in mental health. Very cunning people know how to systematically poison your life for very long time, worst of all if you're married to or related to those kind of (demons) wicked people and they have power or control over your life and welfare.

Omotejowho said...

The truth is we all see the signs, both good and bad traits before marriage, but we decieve ourselves that he/she will change after marriage. First of all, you arent Jesus Christ, you cant change a man's attitude. Study him, ask questions before marriage. My 2cents

Omotejowho said...

Am a doctor, female, if u must marry a doctor, marry him only if u hav dated him for a while ,if possible wen he was in med sch. Cos , I cant expose them more than this...so shutin up now

Eloho said...

πŸ‘

Anonymous said...

Peacemaker it seems you will be an abusive partner in marriage. Better say the prayer by Chiksman24 above πŸ‘†

Anonymous said...

Yes, correct. Na so my man tried to hold me down because I supposedly was not submissive. You want to act Naija man abroad. I worked hard on my own, when je saw what I could do including pay for holidays he couldn't dream of.......no one begged him to return to satus quo. Mind you the marriage is still on.

Omotejowho said...

U are my girl @ quick silver

Miss Kay said...

Veery stingy o

Omotejowho said...

People pretend o..if u like discuss.

Anonymous said...

I think it is time you assert your independence poster. What EXACTLY are you afraid of? Is he physically violent, will he deport you or what? You were not clear on this. This 2017 pick yourself up from the gutter dust yourself fold your sleeves and get in the grease to make your life work, not just for you but your kids. You are also their role model. Stand up for yourself, get outside that prison and meet people, new ideas will come that will help. You can't continue to stay cooped up. All the best.

Anonymous said...

Where is queen of the bus? She is an expert in these kind of matters. Queen, you never return from village? Your seat on the bus don cold ooo.

Anonymous said...

@Ganglion πŸ‘

Quiksilver said...

Ok ma

Anonymous said...

Chikito this is soooo you! But hey if you wanna drop his ass drop him. Just be sure it won't be something you will regret and you are good to go. Better fish out there if you ask me.

Anonymous said...

Hahahaa....lol!
"Married househelp".
This is best term I've heard this year.
So many are caught up in marriages of convenience & their destinies kidnapped & in self personal development in arrested development.
Tufiakwa for nigerian people. They reinvent emotional abuse & relationship oppression in different ways.

Anonymous said...

Please Oguike Akudo do teach us the squeezing game.

Anonymous said...

Your are strong 18:42 πŸ‘

Anonymous said...

You are just fucking him.he had is real girlfriend.

Next time you open your virgin mouth and say the truth when his friends starts hailing him

Tessbaby said...

Have u tried understanding b4 commenting? That will help u in a way

CrazyHornyWife said...

Hi poster!!
Get an online job,you seat at home and you make money. You already agreed to be a homestay mom so that was a choice you made easily.
Some men, don't give if you don't ask. If you have to go on a vacation,ask him for money don't presume he 'll give you.
Yes your in a society that works but is divorce an option?? No,based on what you have written!!!
You say his dirty,bla bla bla, have you tried telling him all your anger via face to face or text or letter?
In the end,you alone can decide no matter the comments you read!
Have you honestly asked your husband what he doesn't like about you??
Your kids 'll start preK at 4, for now hold off baby making and focus on how to structure yourselves wen they are off to Scholl. Tell him you have to work because you have dependants,if he says No then stand your grounds on him giving you monthly upkeep n not small money coz doctors make a lot of money.
I know it's already 5years,things 'll be so hard to change but d change starts with you n 'll be a gradual process!!
Appreciate d good things he does like grocery shopping n cooking!
No marriage is easy but you have to find a way to make it work except you have decided to leave!

Lilly simple said...

Very good question dear

Anonymous said...

If we engineers tell you women to leave these wicked doctors and bankers and only follow us, you ladies wouldn't hear word.
On a more serious note, I feel for you madam. Please have someone he respects talk to him.

Anonymous said...

My dear just get on freelancer dot com, Upwork dot com and fiverr dot com start pitching for jobs, young Nigerian students make so much money on these platform working online for people. My own stingy sef but e no bad reach your own, I work with him for house upkeep and small extra money. He won't support anything I want to do but I go ahead to without his input, I will sha thief him money were I see without remorse. Plan towards getting a credit card learn to sell dollar to people online. There are so much opportunities don't let one selfish husband blind you to them. All the best.

Anonymous said...

U sure say we dey d same America,hun go get a job,pay for daycare,if he abuses u,lv his ass n put the surgeon on better child support,except u are lazy as hell

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

Why are all you annoying anonymouses singing my name as if you haven't had food to eat this new year? I comment 'chikito is bragging'. I don't comment 'chikito is this you, this is you'. Did I tell you people I'm afraid to comment with my ID or I need your two-faced advice? Abeg if you're idle go and look for your husbands and boyfriends to finger you. Rabbesh!

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

I hate anything diabolical but honestly this man seems to need some taming. What rubbish?

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

So what if the man doesn't tell you to stop work and after you marry he starts bringing it up subtly? This marriage thing is just God. Not all this mouth some of us are making. And honestly, I feel God gives some people some partners because: 1. They are the only ones who can tolerate such partners (as you can see poster is tolerant) 2. They need such marriage situations to help them adjust characters that should be dropped and head in the right direction.

In all this Poster has never stood her ground. You agreed to be a stay home mum based on certain assumptions. Ok. Dude isn't worth is so change of plans. Tell him all you have told us and that this 2017 you're gonna pick up your career. He will shout and scream. You sef shout back and scream and cry join. Before you do this alert a friend or family around you in cas she does something stupid like lock you up in your house.

Secondly, can't you carry yourselves and kids to social welfare and explain your story. File for divorce on grounds of financial neglect, sexual and emotional abuse (sexual because he forces you 'when you are not in the mood'). Let him sit there and get the papers. If he has any good left in him he will have a brain reset, if he doesn't he will agree to divorce you but he CAN'T leave you empty handed. He will pay child support as you're not working. Won't he?

You're caged in your mind. Really. There are women married to worse men and have tamed them. Only disadvantage is the home Will e a battlefield but if staying in a marriage is the aim then you can still stay

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

MAKE una dey shiver dey go. Yet you come and call the selective ones 'gwegs'. Oya oh come and take blanket and hot tea.

Anonymous said...

Did she say abroad and a doctor? Hehehihihi. See child support money wen you go dey collect every month. @poster, If what I just read is true you got a good divorce case, get a good divorce lawyer 'woman lawyer' the judge will fuck him up. since you've not had a job for so long he will be order to pay spousal support until you get on your feet, and you get to keep one of the car or 50/50 of his wealth. I know a doctor that is paying over $8.000 right now for two kids.
But madam be careful make he nor go kill you

Mr D said...

If his salary is 100.000 a year, after subtracting all his expenses and shittty shitttt. His dumb ass will be the one begging. He go chill by force

crownwonder said...

U know this is your life story and yu are still with him..... Please leave

Anonymous said...

Don't mind them. They keep forming hard women here but practically beg you to marry them when you add them on SnM.

Anonymous said...

Na lie o. I only spend money on my parents and siblings. I don't even go close to a girl that will become a financial burden to me. Relationship isn't a meal ticket. Naija girls should step up. It's a partnership for goodness sake. You claim men and women are equal, yet you insist I should be the one doing the spending. Does it make sense?

Anonymous said...

Nigerians especially the men have reivented mind f0ck. The manipulate, frustrate a grown up adult to start thinking and behaving like a child. Even without using or applying any physical violence. It's all about control, control!!!

I'll never forget my sociology lecturer at middlesex university London in 2003. John Mason. God bless him!
He told us that if anyone or anything want to rope or drag, pull you into poverty of any form, RUN FOR DEAR LIFE!!!
Poverty manifests in different forms. Emotional, physical, intellectual, economical or financial.
All these may be condoned by cultural or religious values or belief. Whereby people endure hardship, untold pain and suffering. A poor person is dangerous and it's no fun at all in it.

How can any spouse watch you with unkempt hair, or scrounging around for the most thibgs and yet they earn or make so money??? And yet they see like to see another person decline in self development, personal growth?
If you can go earn your own money if they have and refuse to give you, why not?
Wow!!!
People are mean spirited? Demons in human form. They feed off on other people's misery & pain.

Housed-On-Water said...

Lol Anonymous witches and wizards

Anonymous said...

If we like money nko?is it dia like?

Anonymous said...

U really need to leave d guy cos if he's nt spending now, he won't do it wen u get married. I just broke up wit my bf cos of d same reason. Aside love, money is what makes a girl happy. Lol... Love without money cud be boring especially wen u knw d guy has d money Buh he dos nt see any reason y he sud spend on you. My dear I advice dat u leave d guy and find ursef a beta guy dat loves you nd will spoil you silly. Goodluck

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