STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRY FOR MARRYING SAKE
Good day Stella,
I hope you are doing great? I am a regular visitor on your blog, although I rarely comment. I am very impressed by your work and pray God will continue to bless you and your family.
My story is a bit longer but I will try to keep it as brief as possible. I need to know if there are people who had experiences like mine and would like to advice a sister. Also please hide my details.
I am a young lady in my late 20s, light skinned, tall and what a lot will call pretty. I am doing very well in my career as that seems to be the only thing I can commit to now. I had a bad experience with a relationship that lasted for about 6 years and since it ended, I have not been able to get into another one. Not because there are no men, I meet a new guy almost on daily basis. I am that girl everybody wants to hookup with their single relatives, I have a number of men who are seriously interested in me, tall, short, dark, fair, fat, slim, rich, poor, good Christian, Sunday church goers, handsome, ugly, you name it.
The problem however, is that I can't bring myself to get into a relationship. I want to get married and have kids no doubt but I keep getting cold feet once a guy manages to get too close. Some would think it is spiritual, but I am a very prayerful and I am somewhat convinced it's not. Also, others might say I haven't moved on from my past experience but then I like to tell myself that I have, unless I don't know what moving on means. I am good friends with my ex, I hold nothing against the relationship and in fact I see it as a blessing because I learnt a lot from it.
Regardless, I have tried a lot of times to start something but I always find a way to end it for some reason which my friends think is ridiculous although I think it's pretty much germane. To mention a few examples, one is when I thought a guy didn't give a hoot about my career, he didn't show interest whatsoever and I felt it was wrong as that is something I care for. Another is a guy who tells me he doesn't like artificial looks and wants me natural which he defined to be no weaves and no makeup (huh, when I am not a member of deeper life), I wear very minimal makeup anyways. I regarded this as being unduly domineering.
I know by now some people may agree with me that my reasons are valid but the truth is that I know we are all humans and no one can be complete and so I capitalize on the flaws to give myself a valid way out.
The thought of being married to a guy for the rest of my life scares the .... out of me. However after all said, I know I still want to get married, if not for any other reason, to have kids, make my parents happy and very importantly, to give all the married women around me a rest of mind, apparently some of them think their husbands might have something for me. (Lol, it's a very serious issue o)
So, I will appreciate a sound advice from anyone who had been through similar experience and is married today. I will really love to know if there something I should do to make me eventually settle ok and please don't say love because at this rate I am convinced that it is not about happening to me at least for now.
Should I just randomly select from the list and pray I don't run out of the marriage tomorrow?