Stella Dimoko Service Year Boulevard 62


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Friday, 27 January 2017

Service Year Boulevard 62

Wow,see gist!

I've been meaning to send this in since u started this Service Year Boulevard. As I never get Wedding night Brouhaha or labor room drama to send (which I look forward to doing so much cos I'm gradually becoming an Aunty Gwegs)

Back to NYSC, I served about 9 years ago! Batch B I think.

 That was when they post you to a state and you can have your camp in another state especially for congested camps like Abuja, Lagos and Rivers. So I was posted to RIVERS State but to have camp in CROSS RIVERS - Obubura camp. 

Friends and Family were like I should explore and let NYSC just post me anywhere or at least out of Rivers State considering I did University there but I no even answer them as I wanted to be in my comfort zone at the time so I worked it to Rivers!! Actually I asked two of my toasters then to help me work it, ones dad retired from NYSC while the other one had a brother who was a big man in NYSC... I don't know which of them their own clicked sha as they both claim responsibility but that one no concern me as I got where I wanted!!

So time to go for camp! I packed like I was going to my husbands house ... lol! I had a box full of everything from Cereal, Biscuits, Carton of Juice, packs of white tee shirts, sneakers, Toiletries.... infact all sorts to last me 3weeks! Packed disposable pants too (I no wan hear story of no water to wash and all).

On camp day, as the ajebutter that I was then, my brothers driver drove me from port harcourt.... had a friend from school who had same posting as me so she joined me!! We left about noon, the place was farther than I imagined!! We sha got there about evening time! As we got to the camp gate, the soldiers started shouting "daddy's girl" blah blah blah as per driver dropping me!! 

Then the driver helped me get my "mighty box" out of the car, the Soldiers started laughing as they saw the box and shouted at the driver to leave it for me. Anyways they inspected my box and saw all the different things and they laughed at me some more!! 

Oya time to enter camp na! They said we should carry our boxes/bags on our head and frog jump into camp.... Ha!! How I wan take carry that mighty box on top my head!! Me I just started laughing!! Stood in one place and was just looking at them!! Then one of them now said "fine girl oya run across with your box sharp sharp!! Omo I dragged the box and "catwalkingly" ran as fast as my legs could carry me. Meanwhile my friend had a smaller bag so she had to carry hers on her head!! That thing I feel is dehumanizing jo!!

My friend and I went in, saw a couple of people we knew, got good bed space in a hostel that didn't have occupants yet, though we had to drag bunk beds to the hostel and then proceeded to get mattress as it was late for registration.
Next day, that 4am bigelow wake up call no be here with soldiers shouting and chasing people around, quickly had my bath and out to camp ground!! 

Registration was easy for we the Rivers corpers in Cross Rivers cos we had a different line and we were about 200-300 compared to the almost 2000 of the main Cross Rivers corpers so those ones were beefing us as we quickly registered, got our kits and everything.

As camp proper started, somehow though not intentionally my friend, couple of other Rivers corpers mostly we the "Uniport" ones kinda formed a clique so I always was in good company. I had toasters and all but didn't pay them that much mind though there was one that was on my case all through and would even shout out to me many times from OBS as he was like their head or something there. Had a lot of money infact too much cos I'm the last child with like 5 older siblings so I got money from all angle as I was going to camp though I didn't carry all the money o!! 

But I was very comfortable so I no even near kitchen, not sure I knew where it was sef!! Was also particular about loosing some weight so wasn't eating much, I really enjoyed some fresh fruits though and some food from mammy market mostly like akara and fried yam the days I ate. I also didn't want to have to use the toilet often so I wasn't eating much. I was interested in parade cos it was an avenue to loose more weight.

Meanwhile our camp commandant was one fine young and Single Fulani guy (u know Fulani people dey fine sha). Apparently he was eyeing me and had sent for me from d 2nd day of camp but I didn't know he was d Commandant until he formally introduced himself to us on the opening parade day!! For my mind I say I go use this likeness to my advantage!! He had girls tripping all over him sha as a fine man that he is na!!! As camp went on and we started taking parade seriously, na so Commandant sent my platoon leader to call me and that I will be part of the "call up party" (like a group of 8/9people that leads the parade) cos I'm a tall girl though I later found out it was just for him to be closer to me.

 Anyways I joined the call up party and even ended being the one carrying the flag and shouting many commands like that till I almost lost my voice. And by virtue of that I was treated like queen by d soldiers o!! Cos they didn't expect this ajebutter girl to withstand all the parade heat and stress, na so I go just carry my flag dey waka up and down, once any soldier wan disturb me them go just recognize me and leave me, infact one wanted to punish me cos I was in mammy market trying to get something when others were going for lecture, he asked me to kneel down, I don't even know where I got the guts to tell him that I can't kneel o, as the custodian of the flag of Nigeria that was in my hand so I can't kneel down!! 

The man wanted to run mad started raking o! Other soldiers sha came calmed him down and asked me to go... hahahahahahahahaha!!!
Lectures were as boring as hell so I dey dodge am sometimes with excuse of body pains from parade!!
In d long run I didn't use my disposable pants that much cos we had water with those little kids fetching for us so it wasn't that bad. I used the toilet just like 3 times all outside camp cos me I sabi hold shit and didn't want to use the camp toilet! 1st week I went out of camp with Oga camp commandant to shit in an eatery (I think Mr. Biggs), 2nd week same thing and last week was in Obudu cattle ranch (I'm getting to the gist of how I went there)

So mostly for me camp activity was Parade, hang out in Mammy some evenings with my peeps and then I attended evening mass and the association of catholic corpers fellowship as the staunch catholic girl that I is na!!
By the last week of camp, of cos more fun with soldiers and camp officials loosening up. My platoon people wanted me to represent them for Miss NYSC even though I wasn't Lepa, say like a size 12 but because we were not primarily Cross Rivers corpers we couldn't participate in Miss NYSC, Miss Obubra, Mr. macho and all. 

The Local government chairman sponsored the Miss NYSC and said he'd sponsor all participants to Obudu Cattle ranch... me I just went straight to Camp Commandant in my best childlike voice that it's not possible that I will come all the way to Obubura and not get to Obudu... I even threatened to not carry flag again for the parade ... of cos my magic worked and somehow I found myself in d bus that took them even though many of the babes where eyeing me when they saw me in d bus (especially one babe that was obviously throwing herself at the Commandant cos she knew it was his influence I used to join them) me I no send anybody but I sha knew I wouldn't let the opportunity pass me by. We left in d morning and camp back at night was a whole day affair and of cos I used the opportunity to shit well well!! We had lots of fun, ate correct food all sponsored by oga LGA chairman!!

I enjoyed and actively participated in endurance trek.... didn't know I had that kind of stamina!!
Camp fire night was fun, at the end of it, Oga Camp Commandant sent some soldiers to come get me, we gisted till way over midnight in his car, he tried getting me to come over to his quarters and sleep over but that was a big NO NO for me... I wasn't interested in all that camp gbenshing (even though I heard girls were always coming out of his room early hours of the morning). Also heard lots of gist about gbenshing all over camp especially that campfire night!!

Finally camp came to an end Omo I almost passed out from the matching and shouting commands on that camp passing out parade day and having to hold d flag up, the sun that day na die, my legs were killing me, had to whisper to one of the soldiers that I was going to faint and he said it is an offense to faint while carrying d national flag... IMAGINE!! 

Well I survived and ran away immediately parade was over as we d Rivers corpers had already chartered buses to take us back to PH (infact it was me they were waiting for cos they wanted to leave b4 d parade sef) since we were not going to be posted from cross rivers camp.

Back to Porthacourt, only for me to be posted to one Cottage Hospital in one village like that, initially wanted to reject it but on getting there I knew I wasn't going to be very useful to them considering my course of study though they didn't reject me!! They asked me to sha be working in the lab!! They offered correct accommodation but the village no get light and the hospital puts on gen once in a while, me I no even answer them and their accommodation. I noticed that the director of the hospital comes in once a week so who am I to be suffering myself to be there everyday!! 

The Hospital secretary was one annoying man that lived across the hospital with 3 wives and still had d guts to be chasing me and always making shakara to sign my monthly letter but I no send am!! I got to find out he was not paying me some of my money but I couldn't be bothered. Rivers state ministry of health paid us well and in bulk so I no send the man. Used to go to work once a week sometimes not at all, went for my CD's especially month end just to sign!! 

For the most part of PP I was traveling and just having fun At some point towards d end I went back to school for further studies so I just made a deal with my Local inspector guy and paid him a certain amount.

Almost forgot to add that the camp commandant came to visit me a couple of times in PH during d rest of the camp year especially whenever he had something to do around there!! Nothing ever happened between us cos I knew from the start that we could never be together, that was my mentality then!! He always gave me gist about all those girls all over him in camp and all even some of the ones he slept with. We still talk once in a while when he remembers me.

All in all service year was cool
Hope I didn't bore y'all too much with d long read.
Make una pray for me o!! I want to send WNB and LRD too na!! Baba God answer my call .... lol!!
Kisses to u Madam Korks!!
Hide my email abeg o!! I trust u will.

*sweet story sha,you no gbensh,you no shit,you no eat,you no serve....YOU BE SPIRIT?...well done oh--lol


Rocky said...

Good story

peace maker said...

Good to know

Cathryn Praise said...

Long but interesting story. I pray God grants u your heart desire

Blackberry said...

So preek no enter u all through?
Lol, gist me naa!

I am king EZE said...


Biodun funke said...

Stella hahahahahahahaha

Rex said...

Lol@ you be spirit?

Nice story, I enjoyed it...Boo will come for you soon,just believe.

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Nice story

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

hahahahaha very funny narration.

Ghanaman said...

Everybody go dey form Catholic for their posts o, none of una go free talk sey dem chop am.

Boulevard bruhaha don dey reach 100, but all the corpses abi corpses were holier than St. Francis. Una try!

When una lie finish, make Stella wake me up!

*ghanaman signing out*

Ghanaman said...

Everybody go dey form Catholic for their posts o, none of una go free talk sey dem chop am.

Boulevard bruhaha don dey reach 100, but all the corpses abi corpses were holier than St. Francis. Una try!

When una lie finish, make Stella wake me up!

*ghanaman signing out*

Muna said...

Ghost Corper!

Corper W said...

Nice Write-up. Don't worry dear God is preparing something great for you. Pls don't forget to send us the gists of the WNB and LRD

Muna said...

Ghost corper

unwana angela said...

Great! its gud 2 be virtuous. Too many regrets in indulgin in pre marital sex. jst kp urself busy fulfillin purpose.God wl settl u maritally.

IJAY said...

Nice story

marriedchick said...

sister, nice story joor
... #sideseyesatbves make she talk say she do make una for dey yap her abi?

marriedchick said...

sister, nice story joor
... #sideseyesatbves make she talk say she do make una for dey yap her abi?

Mao Akuh said...

Nice story. God will answer you dear.

LIGHT said...

Lovely all camp commandant dey fine, den dey select them put for commandant position?

Ghanaman said...

*corpses abi corpers

Thunder fire auto correct there !

Ghanaman said...

*corpses abi corpers

Thunder fire auto correct there !

Femilicious said...

Stella oooo😂. You cray. I don't understand people that poo once or twice a week. If I don't poo at least once a day i will not be myself. I eat a lot of fibre.

The joy of pooing...

Anonymous said...

mehnn camp was too LIVE for me. After camp I relocated while my camp boo stayed back in the state we served, we lodged wit other camp friend, we were just fucking raw all through the night.

missylynn said...

Hahahahahaha poster you funny
You really had fun oooo

AbaMade said...

Not all oh, Infact our own wor wor die that we use to make fun of him one day our platoon officer caught us mimicking the commandant, we do frog jump tire that day

Anonymous said...

The one way gbensh for camp and ppa,una go say na gbensh him go gbensh for camp. The one wey no gbensh at all,una go still she dey form holier than thou. Na wa oh

Anonymous said...

Can anyone please suggest a place in Lagos where they provide free accommodation for my PPA? I studied agriculture

Jasmine said...

Interesting story

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Be so busy loving your life that you have no time for hate and regret*


Body differs, I might not poo sometimes for a week and same as my mum

*Larry was here*

Chinny Baby said...



Send your story but please be very honest as you've just been here

*Larry was here*

Anonymous said...

This is chickito's write up, no doubt

Anonymous said...

nice story may God give u your heart desire,seems we are of alike,no matter how much I'm tripping for a guy once I notice that lots of babes are drooling over him and sleeping with him, I won't sleep with him again, I just make sure he chases me and I flirt with him just to sub consciously tell him that not every pretty girl is cheap.......


keke driver said...

Mehn this your story long ooo... so nothing entered there for a whole year? idon bilivit..chei

pat said...

u try Aunty as u no get ursef involved in touchry nd gbenshry,oluwa go remember u dis year nd u go marry.

dat innocent Owerri boy

Femilicious said...

Chai Larry you dey try ooo. My cousin is like that too. I need to evacuate my bowels at least once a day. 30 mins after my morning coffee off to the toilet. After i poo i would be so light and have so much energy.

Iphie dearie said...

When you get close to civilized military men... The Army,Navy,Airforce etc.. kai!!! You will crave Power.
I just imagined the commandant always sending for you through his guys.

The respect there no be here ooh.
Especially when they know their boss has the hots for you.
The good ones respect women and their wishes.

You and fun poster.

Great lady said...

Your own NYSC was correct ajebutter serving. You really had fun but thank God you didn't gbensh.

God will answer your prayers dear. Always tell God to help you locate him where ever he is

Madame koinkoin a.k.a 'peace lover" said...

Lol, interesting you really had fun.

Limitless Grace... said...

Finally someone brought obubra camp gist (2007/2008). I was in that Camp and I know the poser very well.
She was the flag bearer, tall, fleshy lady... Fine girl she is actually.
The camp commandant na Captain MTN like we used to call him them. Dude na fine guy sha... See babes tripping for him.
My platoon won the football competition, won the miss nysc and came third in Mr macho... All hail platoon 7 of Obubra camp 2007/2008.

For security purpose make I no mention the name of this babe... Na my friend back then from Chapel of the annunciation, uniport that year.... Enough leads given.

Nice story... Make I go type my own SYB. Ayam coming

Chidinma Gift said...

Wehdone Ma

Anonymous said...

Drop your email.

Anonymous said...

Nyse *sighs* kano state...ungongo camp, the harmattern na die! The best thing that happened to me was I met my bff on the queue for registration and 9years later she's still my bae. Oh yes! I also lost my virginity to my boyfriend (no he wasn't a fellow corper & we were already dating before camp) and 3years later broke up.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!! U must really know d poster well and u were obviously in that camp

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