STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRIED TO A FAMILY OF ABUSERS:
Stella please hide my ID.My story is similar to that of The person who sent in divorce story-6 but I think mine is worse.
I am married to a man who is physically and emotionally abusive. Has no regard for me and shouts at me even in public.He also tells his family every issue we have and they always call to blame me whether or not it's my fault. On one of those times that he beat me up, I was pregnant so I dashed into the kitchen and carried knife and dared him to touch me again.
He called his family immediately and told them.they all called me and said they will report me to their kinsmen that I committed sacrilege,i told them their brother tried to kill me they said there's no excuse for me to carry knife that was how I started apologising to him. I went down on my knees apologising to my husband everyday. 2 Years later I was still apologising because he started using as excuse to beat me the more.
Now to my main topic: we travelled to the village during the festive season.My hubby and his brothers as a routine give our feeding money to two of their unmarried sisters. I and the other wife we are like house maids. The sisters relax and share work for us, today I am to cook and wash the dishes while she sweeps and mop the house and tomorrow we rotate.
Now to my main topic: we travelled to the village during the festive season.My hubby and his brothers as a routine give our feeding money to two of their unmarried sisters. I and the other wife we are like house maids. The sisters relax and share work for us, today I am to cook and wash the dishes while she sweeps and mop the house and tomorrow we rotate.
After cooking we call our sister inlaw to dish the food and take the meat we have fried to her room. Our husbands are aware and said nothing. We the wives decided to endure after all Christmas is a few days and we go back to where we are based.
On this particular day I was to sweep and mop but was having running stomach I was so weak but I forced myself to sweep but stopped halfway to use the restroom after which I went to lie down. My sister inlaw started shouting at me to come sweep I told her I wasn't feeling well and she said" who do I expect to sweep it then?
On this particular day I was to sweep and mop but was having running stomach I was so weak but I forced myself to sweep but stopped halfway to use the restroom after which I went to lie down. My sister inlaw started shouting at me to come sweep I told her I wasn't feeling well and she said" who do I expect to sweep it then?
She started saying I want to cause problems for myself etc.My hubby told me manage and sweep.I used my last strength to do what they wanted yet this my sister inlaw started following me while I was sweeping raining insults "is that how u sweep?look at how she's holding the broom?
I couldn't bear it anymore I decided to leave the scene. she started following me and said she's been targeting me. I told her I said I'm not feeling fine and before I know what was happening she has landed me a very dirty slap in the presence of my husband.My husband pushed me violently and said I was pointing at his elder sister.i went to stay alone and cried my heart out. This lady started raining insults on me on how I am lucky her brother married me. I am short and not a befitting wife for him. Insulted my family,my state for over 4 hours,told me unprintable things.
I didn't reply cos my hubby was supporting her and they could kill me.she even said my hubby told her what I said about them. While she was shouting some neighbors in the village gathered she told them I tried to kill their brother.I said she's lying and she started pursuing me with weapon while my hubby's elder brother slapped me too. 2 slaps in one day. They told me my sister inlaw has right more than me. She can do whatever she wants to me. She even said she will call umuada to strip me naked and flog me.
Hubby just stood and watched.she told me they will come and remove my corpse from there if the other sister was around. I ran leaving my kids behind.few days later I went back to our base cos of my children and my credentials that was when my husband started apologising.He only condemned his brother slapping me but still supported the sister.
Im planning my exit this coming weekend and want to take one of my kids and leave one for him. Please Stella and fellow bvs what do you advise?
*Why do you want to leave one Child behind?Your situation sounds very bad,very very bad....I dont understand all this sometimes..How does it get so bad?why do people put their nose this deep into their family members private lives?
You should have gotten out of there before the second child but i guess you stayed trying to salvage a dead end situation.
If it true as you have recounted and you did not paint the story to suit you,then please I encourage you to find peace of mind somewhere else.
Your husband is not wise (what does one expect from an abuser?). Men, when your wife is angry with you, you will not excel in life as your prayers won't be answered. Secondly, a man should leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. You then become one with her. Poster's husband is still cleaving to his family and sisters. Thirdly, when you allow others to abuse your wife and even join them, you are acting like a fool because you are abusing yourself. Anyone who does not respect your wife does not respect you, you can take that to the bank - irrespective of how they treat you. Lastly only a monkey with no breeding raises his hands on his wife. A real man cannot do this, irrespective of what the woman does. If you are provoked, it is better to leave and go somewhere to chill than react in violence. If you want to know a man who is a thorough success, go check his home...
ReplyDeleteSo that they will blind us with stories and get MUA to paint them blue black for us to give them money from our purse right? My dear, calmies oh. Let's take it one issue (heessssuuu *in my Yoruba accent 😂) at a time
ReplyDeleteStop deceiving yourself. We know there are Yoruba demons, but this kind of story is very rampant amongst the Igbos. Why are we always scared of the truth?
ReplyDeleteB the truth is the truth. Such stories are common with Igbos. It does not mean other tribes are not culprits, but we see and hear a lot from your side, these kinds of stories. We should be thinking of how we can change things, societal re-engineering. Hiding our ugly parts does not help. If anyone comes to abuse me about this under here, it is on you, because you can't change the truth.
ReplyDeleteJames, peacemaker why anonymous today?
ReplyDeleteEnd time repulsive marriage
ReplyDeleteEnd time repulsive marriage
ReplyDeleteIt is mind boggling when I hear or read that unmarried sisters are being mean to their brother'spouse without provocation. Even if they think they are past the age of getting married themselves, the fact that you are in your father's house, should make you humble. Have heard also of married sister-in-laws, who will leave their husbands and family to oppress their brother's wives esp. during festive seasons, for crying out loud, what kind of deranged people are these?
ReplyDeletePoster, my candid advice to you, is for your peace of mind and that of your children, leave the asswipe and his irresponsible family. The fact that you were ill and weak, was not enough reason for your horseband, to tell his deranged sister to find someone else to sweep the floor for that day, then there's no need, cos, even if your are on your deathbed and his family comes, you will be expected to get up and do the needful.
Please carry your children from that toxic family and environs.
Both of you need Jesus Christ! Receive him today so he will turn your heart of stone to a heart of flesh. Selah!
ReplyDeleteThis CAN only happen in Igbo family, I don't see any Yoruba, Niger-Delta family going through all this....pure undiluted B.S. Pls don't move to anywhere, u have to endure and stay with your kids and work on your marriage. I noticed you didn't mention anything like telling your own family! Kindly gather all your "elders" to "summon" him to explain himself ( all quotes Na igbo words) bullshit
ReplyDeleteYou're super stupid anonymous16:21
ReplyDeleteLadies call always tell a story to suit them. Stella too always judge without minding it's onesidedness, poster get evidence from any human right org. to support your story then help will come.
ReplyDeleteMy husband to be sister said I don't greet her well lol that i'm too proud that's why she is fighting against her brother marrying me. My dear I keep telling ladies don't leave under the pretense of licking the ass of your inlaws Becos you want to enter the family cos tomorrow it will back fire. I respect everyone that needs to be respected but I don't know how to lick people's ass and it has helped me so far cos my inlaws they can't predict me @ all. So they are far off away from me.
ReplyDeleteWhat I'm I reading? This will never and can never happen to me in Jesus name, Amen. In-laws from the pit of hell. No Inlaw fit try this rubbish with me, either you kill me or I do, you born you. God forbid bad in-laws in my place. Amen.
ReplyDeleteWhat I'm I reading? This will never and can never happen to me in Jesus name, Amen. In-laws from the pit of hell. No Inlaw fit try this rubbish with me, either you kill me or I do, you born you. God forbid bad in-laws in my place. Amen.
ReplyDeleteWhat I'm I reading? This will never and can never happen to me in Jesus name, Amen. In-laws from the pit of hell. No Inlaw fit try this rubbish with me, either you kill me or I do, you born you. God forbid bad in-laws in my place. Amen.
ReplyDelete