A lot slap was 'issued' ..lol
Hello Stella, it’s been a while since I last visited this Blog since April actually, all thanks to the Real Owners of my phone or should I call them ‘Fine Boys’ that decided to accost me and collect what is not theirs.
I saw the newly created Labour room Drama series. Anyways I was opportuned to have witnessed the birth of my beautiful niece and I must tell you the pre-labour room and post Labour room drama was so dramatic, matter of fact thinking about it cracks me up every time.
Stella I must say My Sister-in-law is by far the strongest lady I have ever seen, when she got pregnant I was the only one around her, because her Hubby(My Brother) works with a company in which his Job makes him travel a lot.
Well in simple words we became very close, we both shopped for baby clothes together and whatnot. Fast forward to 2 weeks before the D-day, My brother came home all moody and sad, well after a hot plate of Amala and Ewedu soup he was feeling better (SIL is Yoruba).
Then he told us that his Boss begged him to attend a 6 days conference in the States, which means he would be back before the arrival of the baby, which was scheduled for month end, Unknown to them the unborn baby in the stomach had a shocking surprise for them.
The Night my brother was to depart for the states his flight was for mid-night, he had already packed his stuff that morning and was on his way back from work, and was stuck in traffic at Oworo. Meanwhile, that Evening myself and SIL were both in the house watching Zee world, she had begged me to prepare pepper concussion rice, so she helped herself with a chilled bottle of Coke and added plenty ice on it, whenever I complained that the ice is too much she’d give me her usual speech, she’d say “Don’t you know inside there is too hot and I need this cold drink”.
After we had finished watching that Day’s Episode of Married Again, as she stood up and left for the kitchen to grab a refill and next thing I heard was ‘Rowland’ the baby is on the way. I for one had planned and rehearsed all what I was to do on this day right from when she was 3 months due, but trust me when I say this, it’s easy to plan something, but when faced by such situation, I was so confused and clueless.
In the midst of her pain she grabbed me and screamed at me saying “Rowland are you mad, get a grip of yourself’’, ever since I’ve known her she has never used such tone or language at me before. We were in the car on our way to the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (L.U.T.H), and my brother was supposed to join us, I remember driving like Michael Schumacher, when we got to Jibowu, there was serious traffic, by this time SIL was already screaming at the back seat saying ‘Martins (not real name) look at what you did to me, look at my swollen stomach, God! I can’t take this anymore’. On hearing her say this I was honking at the car in front to move but deep down inside me I wanted to also scream at her to get a grip of herself like she said to me earlier on, but something just told me to keep shut, already My brother was like 2 bus-stops away, so he parked and from afar I could see him running towards us, honestly Stella I have never felt pity for my Bros like that before, when he got into the car SIL was like
SIL: ‘Ehen! Martins, look at what you did to me, look at my stomach….’ before he could open his mouth to say anything she gave him a dirty slap on his face (on hearing the slap I gave thanks that I didn’t say anything when she was screaming all the while.
‘And you want to leave me like this and travel for a conference’
Martins: Baby you know I won’t do a thing like that, I am sorry for making your stomach this big, you know I Love you and I am sorry for making you go through this pain (I can guarantee you no man can receive that kind of hot slap and say a thing like that)
By this time, I didn’t care anymore I entered the BRT Lane, only to just drive like 3 blocks and Police stopped me. My Bros had to beg them that his wife was in Labour, and they should please pardon us, then their commanding officer came out of the Van and when I saw him I recognized him at once, he had once stopped me on my way from ICM with one chick to see a movie, I had forgotten my Licence so I gave him a very enticing tip abi roger. So ever since then he was my real guy.
Immediately I greeted him ‘Oga Chidi Nno sir’, Nna how you dey na, shay na that your girl dey labour (I can’t blame him for assuming that, Cos that girl he saw with me that day had eaten and swallowed practically everything I could buy her, and her stomach was like someone in labour, besides he couldn’t see my SIL cos it was dark), anyways he gave us a personal escort to the clinic, so as to beat traffic. When we got to the hospital SIL was taken straight to the Labour room. I and Bros took a stroll around and I remember us having a conversation that was so awkward that on a given day some things he said to me would never come out of his mouth, I know he was not conscious of what he was saying because he was worried about his Wife and child.
SIL said when she was in the ward, the Student Doctor that checked her said she wasn’t ready yet and that she should wait a little while, so he plugged his ear and started listening to music, at some point she was even pinging and replying her chats on Whatsapp and Instagram, but when the pain got severe she didn’t remember where she fling the phone that when she shouted the whole ward knew it was indeed time.
I Thank God she had a safe delivery, when we got the call that she had put to bed out of excitement, my Bros spilled the drink he was holding on himself, I can’t help but notice how his face went from Moody to Happy that day. Soon as he saw the baby, he Kissed his wife, thanked her and I was back to the driver’s seat again Doing my Michael Schumacher thing again just so he could catch his flight for the conference.
When I told her she had slapped her husband and recounted everything that happened on our way to the Hospital she denied it saying she didn’t remember ever doing anything like that, it was later when my Bros confirmed it, and she apologized. Who would blame her, I guess in that state anything that’s done was done out of the impulse of the incoming baby.
Stella to me the most stressful thing of it all was getting SIL and my Niece discharged from LUTH, my God, if you are not a calm person trust me you’d get frustrated, you’d go to Jericho just to sign one paper, from Jericho, you’d go to Babylon to sign another, then to Judea to sign another, then again to Mecca, and let’s say Judea is closed for the day, Nne you go wait till the next day oh, to worsen things you aren’t the only one you’d have to be on a very long cue just like when there was fuel scarcity. I just pray things have changed now, yeah plus I remember how I used to sneak food to go give SIL cos LUTH don’t allow family members to bring food from outside.
one nurse said a patients mother in law had used her daughter in law’s placenta to cook food and bring for her and the likes of other incidents that made them cancel such, but little did they know I used to carry Ababio Chemistry Textbook inside Waec Exam hall that year, and I was the master sneaker they’d not create that policy. Lol
'This was actually sent last year but seems i didnt get it so it was resent......
Nice to see you have a beautiful relationship with your Sister in law.