YES,there will be a giveaway but I think I am done with announcing how much I will be giving away inside in house gists section cos of certain stuff.....
The winner who must have a valid blog ID will come and announce whatever they won themselves.
Any post that stands out will win the Vote between today and tomorrow.
Meaning if you didn't do well today,you have an opportunity to better it tomorrow.
You can post as many times as you deem fit but please indicate if your submission is #copied or not.
Gist Collators be on the look out.
: EASTER BONANZA ---
ReplyDeleteStand a chance to win a new iPhone 6 plus a new Range Rover sport and a return ticket to Dubai with $50Million
Simply LIST the Names of the 5000 People Jesus fed wit FISH and BREAD....... "Lobátàñ óó😜😜😜😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁....... #copied
Hahahhahaha end time Easter bonanza
DeleteWatching #Titanic again... Half of the boat is underwater and there's still electricity on the boat. Nigeria is a disgrace.😭😭😭
ReplyDelete#original
Hahaaaaa..Isaac you no go kee person.
Deletelol Issacson this isn't original now..
Delete😀😀😀
DeleteCopied from twitter two weeks. Original my ass
DeleteNot original
DeleteOoo, do d post on SnM nah. Never tried it b4. Want to try my luck. Hehehehe
ReplyDeleteCopied...
ReplyDeleteOnly Igbo man will name his identical twins Praise and Worship....
#NDI_IGBO_KWENU
Not true.
DeleteIt's Akwa-Ibom men and women
Copied...
ReplyDeleteA guy once tried to break-up with his Benin GF on phone, then a bird flew into his house and changed to her. They are now happily married 😅😅😂😂
Hahahaha
DeleteHahahhaha take your time oh. You go see fear. Afraid no let bros breakup again. Kikikikikikikikikikikikiki
DeleteExpect me in your house this night 😠😠😠😠😠. You re using style to call us witch ba
Delete😀😀
DeleteKidjo love.... It's joke na
DeleteWe nor dey carry last, but who follow see as she changed from bird to human.
DeleteCopied...
ReplyDeleteSome ladies will be like 'he is not my type'...Question is... My friend Are u looking for a Blood donor?
Lol
DeleteOya oooooo let the gist begin
ReplyDeleteSome Nigerian Divas.......
ReplyDeleteHair: 30 inches A+ Brazilian hair and Peruvian hair👩🏽
Panties: Victoria secret 👙
Perfume: Mid Night Fantasy by Britney Spears
Shoes: Stilettos 👠
Weekend/Holiday Destination: Dubai, Jo-Berg and Mauritius ✈️ 🌊 🥂🏊🏽
Car: BMW/BENZ 🚗
Watch and Handbag: Michael Kors watch ⌚️ 👜
Make up: MAC 👩🏽
Phone: S7 edge (Airtel), iPhone 7Plus (MTN)
Favorite food: Prawns and Salad 🍤 🥗
Most abused "drug": Morning after pills and all sort of Highness inducing drugs like rephnol etc
Favorite Drinks: Moët and cocktails 🍾🍹
Investments: NOTHING
Employment : NOTHING
Education : NOTHING... Even failed to obtain a mere Certificate in photocopying and binding
Common sense: NONE
Marital status: Side chick
#copied
Okay make I gist una,I met this rich lady on facebook and we fast became friends,so last week,she contacted me and ask if I could surprise her friend on his birthday and that the guy was a popular figure so I will have to go when he is less busy. On the said day,I went though I was a bit nervous,he turned out to be a cute and gentle guy,we talked,drank wine and before you know it,we were kissing and this guy got down on me,meeennh,he sucked my pussy so bad i started to chant o,(i no even know he name,so i had to pull his hair and ask his name so i can chant it)next thing i felt his tougue in my ass,OMG,it was so good i came so many times and we fucked twice. That day,i had the best sex ever and p.s we used protection. #original
ReplyDeleteAfter sucking you, you now use condom.
DeleteMy dear, what are you protecting?
Is it malaria or urine?
Lol
Hahahahahahahhahahaha ua maddest i swear
DeleteOya!,let the gists pay!
ReplyDeletestella good afternoon..there was drama on jaarumaa_empire Instagram page last night. choi! she called out one sugar mummy oo. Biko go and bring gist for us as E dey hot!!!!
ReplyDeleteAS E DEY HOT!!!!
That moment when you and dad are arguing about football and he says,pogba plays better than messi..and u mistakenly replied,😐see mumu oo😂😜😂😅😄😆
ReplyDeleteSince you showcase urself being in dire need of the money. Let Stella close the post and send you the prize. Mtsheeeeeeew. To say I use to like you but now you have become something I'm not proud of.
DeleteHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
DeleteLol@ see mumu ooo
You always creep under my post madam
DeletePls let me be na, did you not see up there were it was indicated that one can post as many times as they like, am in dire need of the money abi okay thanks for that, is it today av been participating in IHG or you just want me to trade words with you
Please let me be, you like me before or no longer like me is ur business honestly
Who world people 'likeness' epp?
DeleteFree another human Biko.
Omotola Brianna, who the fuck do you think you are and what gives you the stupid right or temerity to tell Stella what to do and not do.This is a blog for Christ sake and the last time I checked, Nigeria is a democratic nation so you ve no right to tell Isaacson how he should comment here .You comment underneath people's comments, forming blog prefect when dem nor send you and now you wanna reprimand isaacson for nothing just to show your stupid daft self.Did you read the instructions above👆👆👆.oversabi, na una type dey fail exam because una nor dey listen to instructions before una jump to go answer questions
DeleteWho cares if you like him or not.who your like epp,your like dey add money to person account? abeg go boil beans jor.
Madam, so what if he wants the money? What's wrong with that.
DeleteKidjo nor mind her jooor
DeleteWho's this one again?? 😕😒😒😒😒
DeleteKidjo the SDK most beautiful girl. I no follow you talk and pls read and understand before you comment. At least I don't hide under anonymous to attack pple. I let out mind. Whether you like it or not, it's not my fucking business. So pls swerve make I see road.
DeleteWhat is your problem Omotola
DeleteIf I was hiding under anon to comment, you wouldn't know it was my comment, would you? So I guess you re indirectly accusing yourself of doing that shit . I'm no asslicker like you,neither am I here for the giveaway like you.I'm bigger than that, I'm blessed to give and not to beg.. I voice out whatever I wanna using my id or are you gonna beat me.Since you can't come to my house and beat me for voicing out my opinion here, i wonder why I'd go under anon. So dear SDK prefect,madame I must talk because my mates re talking, that accusation does not hold sway. I fear no human being right from childhood so I'm not gonna start fearing people on a blog and hiding under anon to throw shades.And moreover, even if I wan fear person. Nobi your kind i go fear because you nor reach I swear down.You fit jump enter lagoon so that you go dey see well but from hell
DeletePlease allow me to air my mind here, as I am not myself right now.....i just need words of encouragement, uplifting words as am down and I think am giving up myself already.....
ReplyDeleteI thought I was a strong woman...
I said nothing can bring me down or back to depression.....i was wrong*sob
I just realize am only a human
Am not perfect....
I just want to be happy....
But with this, I just feel like disappearing
I just want to vanish never to come back
God where can I run to....i am tired....they've started again
With there bad mouthing,emotional abuse...they want to kill me...they want to make me feel useless....
I think I am already useless self since am not contributing financially to the family....that's what they told me..
but I just have a baby...
Give me space, everything will be alright....am trying, am not lazy, am even looking for shop to start my sewing business...
What else do u want...should I kill myself....i am tired o...
Why tormenting me, why making me miserable, frustrated...do u want to kill me?? Don't I deserve happiness....
Where do I run to....i want to disappear....ile aye so mi...😢
Awwwwn...It must be very hard. Get in touch with someone who makes U happy for now and take one day at a time.
DeleteAbegi,, I dnt understand y people do dis,,bcos dey are bad-mouthing u, u want 2 kill urself,
Deletedey say u dnt contribute 2 d family, do u av enuf 2 contribute?, u want 2 kill urself...
Dey say u are useless Nd u agree wit dem, u want 2 kill urself...
U just had a baby, where is d daddy?..u want 2 kill urself...
Do u knw wat people are goin tru in life?, u want 2 end ur life cos of dese irrelevant things, who will take care of ur baby?, selfish woman...
Just come out right and ask bvs 4 help, am tired of hearing "I want to end it all" Nd u even av d guts 2 question God, u tink bein alive and healthy is easy,God dat kept u Nd ur baby alife till now u tink he doesn't av plans 4 u?.
And u av d guts 2 buy MB Nd come on social media Nd write rubbish....ingrate..
U better start tinkin God 4 d gift of life 4 u Nd ur baby and take dis rubbish u wrote back Nd ask 4 4giveness...work on ur low self esteem...people must talk abt u, even d dead are still talked abt....hian
It is well. The Lord is your strength.
DeleteMy dear, fund solace first in God.
DeleteHonestly it's hard to even pray when one is down, but try.
Then find ur inner joy.
Channel your energy on ur inner joy.
May be reading novels, taking care of your child anything.
Ignore those that ill treat you.
Focus on you.
Be deaf to them.
This will soon pass.
Just hang in there.
Meanwhile, never think of dying!
Who sai?
Your child needs you, you need to be alive also.
Much love.
@happiness take it easy abeg..
DeleteDon't be too harsh....
"I be man I kwn be God"
Na blood dey run through my veins.... Anyways, thanks for ur comment...i grab some...
All I want is encouragement that's all....I was down and lost that particular time I send the msg in....am alright nw...
Why u marry EDO man? Their wives always die of heartache.
DeleteDon't worry, very soon the rejected stone will become the chief cornerstone. They won't be able to do anything without seeking for your validation.just be steadfast and faithful to God, And he won't fail you.
DeleteHappiness your name should actually be bitterness. If you don't have encouraging words for her then shut the fucking Fuck up!!
DeleteThis na original tatafo.
ReplyDeleteIt was another season of international messing( Aka polluting )competition.
Now the participants of the competition were from different countries like Asia, China, USA, Canada, Australia, Saudi Arabia and African countries like Ghana, Togo, Gambia, Zimbabwe, Kenya and of course, our very own NIGERIA.
So the competition began and the representative from USA Ran across the border line and his messing soundtrack was like pium pium pium piuuuuuuuuum. And his supporters started clapping.
The next representative from Canada went like padadadadadadadadada and his supporters were hailing him happily .
The next representative from Australia came forth running with pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom pom. Since he was the longest and most consistent polluter for the first half, everybody stood up and started clapping.
The last man performing that day was the representative from Nigeria ( naija no dey carry last)
The Nigerian representative didn't do so much like the others, he walked majestically to the border line without any sound very unlike his competitors but before he could return back to his seat, he saw every body including his supporters running helter-skelter for their dear lives as though something was pursuing them.
In fact he brought the competition automatically to an end as the organizers were no where to be found due to the weight of his smelling silencer.
And then he said to himself, una never chi chung ching. Next time organise shitting competition. Me wey never shit for one month, make I use that annoyance kill una for here. Rubbish.
😅😅😅😅😅
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI have never been here before but just as I was about to scroll past, I remembered something that happened to me many years back, this ladies and gentlemen, is a true life story.
ReplyDeleteSo, I was broke and after racking my brain on how to get money, I picked up my phone and called a big bros of mine. After the frivolities, I told him, I was broke. He told me he was broke as well but since I sounded more broke, he had 5k for me, the only thing I had to do was follow him for night vigil in one of these prayer houses - come on, what were you thinking?😈 He told me to sleep well in preparation but of course I ignored the instruction, thinking I could will my body to obey me, when sleep came calling. Also, I thought the prayers would keep me awake no matter what. I mean how bad could it really be though? I asked myself, besides it was a perfect opportunity to pray well or so I thought.
And so evening came and I left for big bros' house. I got there, greeted the wife, played with the children till he got ready and we left. We picked up another 'relative' and drove to Ikot Ekpene. I was asked if I needed to eat before we got to the venue but I declined.
We got there near midnight and activities were in full swing. We sat separately and I regret to this day that I didn't insist on keeping the car keys with me.
Prayers began in full earnest by 1am when the prophet came in and by 1:35, my vision was getting blurry. God knows I tried to blink away the sleep but I couldn't. You cannot know how many times the ushers came to tap me.
By 2am, we were told to stand on the chairs we were sitting on and it was there and then, that I regretted leaving the comfort of my bed for 5k.
I slept off whilst standing on the chair and was leaning forward ready to fall when the congregation's loud 'Amen' and tug on my hands woke me, for we had been asked to hold the hands of our neighbors to pray. That's how, I, Pure Nigerian, would have fallen flat on my face because of money.
After, we had been asked to sit down, I stood up and walked out. I sent one of the ushers to get the car keys and entered the car to sleep well.
By 5, it was over and when bros dropped me off after laughing at me (he had been watching me), he gave me 10k in pity and asked if I would ever accompany him again, I declined.
That was my first and only experience at a prayer house.
Hahahahahha,stell pls this sound so real
DeleteSweety this is funny
DeleteLol
DeletePUSH!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHer water broke…
Clara was rolled into the theatre, with her husband running behind the nurses, soaked in sweat & splatters of the broken water on his trouser, it was slimy......
“I’m sorry sir you can’t come in, her blood pressure is up and she’s almost having a panic attack, she’s gone into labour already
“No, there’s no way! I have to be there!!!”
“We’re sorry Sir!"
Sweat broke out across his face and it looked like he was the one with the panic attack. He loved her and would give anything to take her place in that labour room, but of course, that couldn’t happen.
Clara couldn’t take a minute more of the pain but she had insisted on pushing all the way. She was a nurse and had helped deliver countless kids. But this was even more painful than she expected. With her legs spread out and head hurting so badly she thought she’d faint,
Clara blasted into wild tears.
“I can’t do it doc, I can’t!”
“Ma’am you have to push." The head is already out and this baby will die if you don’t!” The doctor’s voice getting more intense and sharp.
Clara began to cry again, she had dreamt many nights about this baby, her girl, her first baby after five miscarriages.
“Doc, I’m so tired, please, I’m getting really weak"
“Get her husband in here right now!"
They didn’t need to call his name a second time before Jeff came in rushing to her side...
“Baby, I’m here"
“It’s too painful!”
“I know my love, and I would give anything to do this for you, but I can’t” He began sobbing as she screamed releasing a measure of the pain on his hands, he could bet blood wasn’t flowing in them at that moment.
“Arrrrrgghhh”
“Baby, listen to me. For every child we lost, push!”
“Arrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
“For all the years that went by,baby push!”
“Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhh”
“For everyone that laughed at you, push!!!”
“Arrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh”
“For the joy of having your own child, baby pushhhh!!!!!”
“Aaaaaarrrrrrrrggghhhhh”
………………………..
And for the first time to Clara, she heard a cry that made her smile, it was the cry of a baby born. Her very own!
****************************
You may be young, but you’re not young atall. You may have tried one thing or the other, or you may not even have a clue where to start. But there’s a hand holding you right now. Saying, you’ve wasted enough time wondering if you’re good enough, being afraid of the possibility of failure, its time to PUSH.
You’ve probably been a great part of someone else’s dream,you’ve helped birth other visions, that’s fantastic, but at the end of the journey, you stand alone on the finish line.
So this is for you:
For everyone that talked you down,
PUSH!
For all the times your name was forgotten,
PUSH!
For the family that said they won’t support you,
PUSH!
For that friend that betrayed you,
PUSH.
For the mistakes that try to hunt you,
PUSH!
For every time you tried and failed,
PUSH!
I don’t promise that there’ll be no pain, as a matter of fact, I guarantee that you would have to cry sometimes, other times, you
would want to give up, and it will look like every bone in your body is breaking into pieces, but for that dream in your heart, that change you want to make, that future you saw..
IT’S TIME TO PUSH!
People can love you, encourage you, and motivate you, but when it comes down to the time to push, it is you and your creator's inspiration. Don't fail your GOD.... PUSH!
It encouraged me, so I thought to share it with
#Copied
God bless you for this. I needed it
DeleteInteresting. I enjoyed every bit.
DeleteYou are the winner.
Thank you so much for this. God bless you.
DeleteThanks for sharing hon...very nice
DeleteThanks for sharing hon...very nice
DeleteThumbs up.
DeleteThis is lovely!!!
DeleteGod bless you
Thanks for this
DeleteKisses😘😘😘😘😘😘. Married chick, teddy, Andromeda, cicee...
DeleteI was so down yesterday when I came across this... Truly, it is a boaster.
God bless you for this, you really don't know what this has done to me. I really needed this.. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteGod bless u and thanks
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteTo all the guys and ladies wey dey after this new words baby suck me hmmm
ReplyDeleteGuy you nor no if the lady get bad belle for you or she's addicted to chewing gum.
And when she suck you she forget say na bros dey her mouth the next thing you go hear na chakam your thing don cut ✂ broda wetin you go do
Hehehehe...
DeleteLol
DeleteThe Bible said that any part of your body that will make you to sin that you should cut it off. Well she helped bros out be that.
copied
DeleteOne of our neighbours came back home and met his door locked from behind, he screamed for his live-in girlfriend to open the door and when she finally did, the electrician jumped outside, the man now accused him that he was sleeping with his girl, the electrician said he was connecting a wire at the back of the door and that my neighbour was the one who called him to come to the house in the evening and fix it., this man did not believe him, he claimed he knew the man was sleeping with his girl because when he put his ears to the window he heard hissing sounds like that of a snake and that his girl makes that sound when they are making love. hahahahahahaha.
ReplyDeleteOriginal
LMAO.....
DeleteMy name is Monica and this is my story.
ReplyDeleteIt all started on a Sunday evening, I felt so
big because I cannot lower my standards to
start talking to some dead girls. I mean I’m a
big girl, I should be found with bigger girls
and bigger boys. Anyways that’s aside. My
roommates were not around so I decided to
start tweeting. I didn’t really have anything
to tweet, I went through peoples tweet so i
started stealing people’s tweets. Most of my
followers were retweetting it because it was
really making sense. My roommates got back
but I ignored them because I was really
having fun on twitter.
Around 1:00 am I got a DM from a guy, I
almost ignored it but I checked it. It was just
‘hi’ from a guy. I checked his avi, OMG this
guy is so handsome and on point plus he has
over 5000 followers. Definitely, he must be a
big boy and he should have cash, this
attracted me to him and we started chatting;
in my mind I have found new maga. He
introduced himself and told me he is loving
my tweets because they really inspire him. I
told him they were all my thoughts.
He must have believed me because the next
thing I knew he started telling me his life
story. He told me how his girl friend broke
his heart and all, he said he loved the girl so
much and gave her everything she wanted;
he gave her an I phone 4 and also got her a
diamond ring he proposed to her with. All
this got me thinking of when I would be
getting my own diamond ring. Since he got
her an Iphone 4 I might get the new Z10!
Finally, someone to change my blackberry
bold1. He also mentioned giving her the key
to his house in Lekki when he was travelling
to America to see his parents.
My eyes were wide opened that was how I
knew that YES this guy is perfectly boxed up.
I wasn’t going to let him think I was the
broke one, so I started forming for him too.
I lied to him about how rich my parents
were . I started consoling him and telling
him that not all girls are the same. Not
because I pity him but common this guy is
young and rich and this kind of fresh fish
cannot slip away from my hand NO! When
he called me, I spoke with a black American
accent I learned from watching TV.
Soon we started planning our first meeting.
He asked me for how much I needed. I
replied. No thanks, I don’t need your money.
He sensed I
was being modest and he asked me if 100
thousand naira will be adding that he would
give it to me when I come over. I had to look
good to impress this guy, my broke Bottom
had only two thousand naira. I went ahead
to buy a Brazilian weave on credit. I also
borrowed thirty five thousand naira from a
friend. I made a good meal. I got new
clothes and other stuffs. Nneka had warned
me not to come back to school if I didn’t get
her money.
We met. While he drove me to the
undisclosed place, I talked and laughed at
his dry jokes. We got to lekki he stopped by
one of the houses, he said he wanted to get
something from his friend. Immediately he
left, his phone rang but I didn’t pick up, the
fourth time the person called I picked up
and the person said “I get your message say
you don pick the girl, abeg wait for me
before you start to dey knack am because I
wan knack am too. We go do a before you
ask for her ATM card and pin oo. Since you
talk say na rich girl, he mean say she go get
correct money. No Bleep up oo before she go
no say you be broke guy, continue to dey
form fonee u hear, helooo, hello, hello”.
I took my things, entered the next cab I
saw………. Haaaaa BAD MARKET. Wat will I
tell Nneka!!!
#copied#
Lol see gobe
DeleteThats what happens to cheap EDO girls
DeleteWhen player jam player.😅😅😅😅
DeleteOne line caught my attention... You'll like this piece...
ReplyDeleteIf a rose smells better than cabbage, It doesn't mean the rose can make a better stew. Don't try to compare yourself too much with others. You also have your own strength, search it and build on it. You may make better stew than they think. Smile always. All animals that exist, were in Noah's ark. A snail is one of those animals. If God could wait long enough for snails to enter Noah's ark; His door of grace won't close till you reach your expected position in life. Never look down on yourself, keep looking up. Broken crayons still colour.
#copied#
Yes oooo
DeleteHallelujah
DeleteVery interesting Story ;!!!!
ReplyDeleteI bet you gonna learn from this story! A pretty and wealthy woman was serving life sentence in prison.
Angry and resentful about her plight she had
decided that she would rather die than to live
another year in prison.
Over the years she had become good friends with one of the prison caretakers. His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a graveyard
just outside the prison walls.
When a prisoner died, the caretaker rang a bell,
which was heard by everyone.
The caretaker then
got the body and put it in a casket. Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before returning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he
put the casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.
Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it with the caretaker;
The next time
the bell rang, the woman would leave her cell and
sneak into the dark room where the coffins were
kept. She would slip into the coffin with the dead
body while the caretaker was filling out the death
certificate..
When the care-taker returned, he would nail the lid shut and take the coffin outside the prison with the woman in the coffin along with the dead body.
He would then bury the coffin. The woman having pre-arranged with the caretaker for special vents in the coffin knew there
would be enough air for her to breathe until later in the evening when the caretaker would return to the graveyard under the cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her free.
She wld also carry along a small flashlight to cope with the darkness beneath until the hour of expected freedom.
The caretaker was reluctant to go along with this plan, but since he and the woman had become good
friends over the years, and knowing dat he stands to gain a lot from this pretty and wealthy woman, he more than agreed to do it.
The woman waited several weeks before someone in the prison died. She was asleep in her cell when she
heard the death bell ring.
She got up and slowly walked down the hallway. She was nearly caught a couple of times. Her heart was
beating fast. She opened the door to the darkened
room where the coffins were kept. Quietly in the
dark, she found the coffin that contained the dead body, carefully climbed into the coffin and pulled the lid shut to wait for the caretaker to come and nail the lid shut.
Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the
hammer and nails.
Even though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin with the dead body, she knew that with each nail she was one step closer to freedom.
The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken outside to the graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground. She didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the bottom of the grave with
a thud.
Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of
the wooden coffin, and she knew that it was only a matter of time and she would be free at last.
After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh...happily feeling free already and chanting she was free! she was free!
Feeling curious, she decided to light the flashlight to find out the identity of the dead prisoner beside her.
To her horror, she discovered that she was lying next
to the CARETAKER....her only hope to freedom.
Many people believe they have life all figured
out...that they are well connected and can arrange and pre-arrange things to their favour... but sometimes it just doesn't turn out the
way they planned it.
Think of a 'Plan B'!!!
"I don't know what
tomorrow holds, but I know WHO
holds tomorrow."
The Happiest People Don't Have the Best of
Everything,
They Just Make The Best Of What They Have...But at times even the BEST FAILS...
Only one thing never fails...GOD.
Wow!
DeleteInspiring... trust not in man.
DeleteOh my!she dammed for life.
DeleteSome call it APRIL FOOL but for us it shall be:
ReplyDeleteAPRIL full of blessings.
APRIL full of good health.
APRIL full of favour.
APRIL full of mercy.
APRIL full of fruitfulness.
APRIL full of joy.
APRIL full of greatness.
APRIL full of abundance.
APRIL full of God's goodness.
APRIL full of honor.
APRIL full of progress.
APRIL full of gainful and productive ideas.
APRIL full of God's purpose for your life.
APRIL full of promotion.
APRIL full of God's help.
APRIL full of fame.
APRIL full of financial breakthrough.
APRIL full of all goodies of life
APRIL full of a closer walk with God
Welcome to ur month of FULLNESS😀
A group of Nigerian husbands gathered at a conference on, "How to live in a loving relationship with your wife".
ReplyDeleteThe men were asked,
"How many of you love your wife?"
All the men raised their hands.
Then they were asked,
"When was the last time you told your wife you loved her?"
Some men answered today, some yesterday, majority didn’t remember.
The men were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective wife:
"I love you, sweetheart".
Then, the men were asked to exchange phones, so each of them can read the other wife's response to the love message..
Here are some of the replies from 10 of them:
1. Have you impregnated someone again.
2. That was then, not now.
3. You wan borrow money abi?
4. What did you do again? I won’t forgive you this time!
5. Meaning?
6. Is that a new song?
7. Am I dreaming!
8. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, you will die today!
9. You this man! I asked you to stop drinking!
10. Abeg na who be this?
😄😄 #copied#
There was a girl and a boy one day the boy texted the girl 'I love you' when she read the text she wrote 'I love you too' and they kept on texting each other
ReplyDeleteThe next day
The girl went up to the boy and said "I love you" he replied "What??" The girl said again "I love you" but he just laughed at her and left.
After School
She texted the boy 'Do you love me?' he replied 'Of course I do' 'Then how come when I went to you, you just laughed at me and went away?'
'It's because you love me and if you love me so much than you would say it in public' 'Oh I see' She said back 'See, now you get it...I got to go now I'll text you later' 'Oh Ok then, bye'
The next day
The girl went up to the boy again and said "How much do you love me?" The boy just made a face and said "Excuse me?" She says it again "How much do you love me?" he replies in a mean way "I don't even love you at all so just go away from me you freak" The girl was about to cry "Wha-wha-what?"
"I. Don't. Love. You"
"But you said..." The boy stops her from speaking "I didn't say anything to you so just go away!" The girl started to cry and ran away but when the boy regretted what he said it was too late to stop her she was gone she never even texted him anymore but then enough was enough she committed suicide cause of her pain when the boy found out he went to her house and saw a letter 'You said that you loved me during your texts but when I found out you didn't and this was a trick to play with my feeling like a doll I committed suicide I'd rather be in heaven and be free from you or in hell where I will burn but at least it's away from you' the boy started to cry his eyes out and said "Why did I say all of those words to her there will be no world without her" So then on the same night he got a knife and killed himself.
After the boy killed himself he lived happily in heaven with the girl and he told her everything was a mistake it wasn’t him who sended her all of the texts it was someone else but it didn’t matter anymore the boy did actually have feeling for her and she had feelings for him. In this story the meaning is that always show your feelings no matter what and before it is too late if they don’t feel the same way then they are missing out so don’t worry and please please don’t commit suicide if you lover doesn’t love you but no matter what someone will live you eventually.
The End.
WTF
DeleteSended?????????
DeleteTYPES OF WIVES
ReplyDelete1. BOXING WIVES : These are the type of wives that fight with their husbands deliberately just to provoke him to anger...These kinds of women are ready to fight with the husband mostly in the public area to create a scene.
2. HEADMASTER WIVES : These are the wives that are well paid in either their career or business but they disrespect and put their husband down because they have the financial edge over their husbands...
3. POLICE WIFE : This type is very common. These are the wives that inspect or police their husbands everywhere they go...When the husband goes to the bathroom they pick up his phone to quickly check his messages...If the husband makes a call they hide behind the door to listen to every conversation...If the husband goes out they make sure he is followed and have friends that keep an extra eye on the husband's activities.
4. DICTIONARY WIFE : These are the wives that don't listen to the advice of their husband but rather they prefer to listen to their mother or sister....Whenever their husband says something, they quickly go to verify from either the mother,sister, friend e.t.c like a dictionary to know if she should go ahead with what their husband instructed or not.
5. PARTY WIVES : They prefer to buy every available asoebi and shoe and bag to attend any available party even though her family does not have the financial muscle to entertain such expenses...They are readily available at every party and owanbe thereby neglecting their children, husband and home...
6. PAMPERED WIVES : These are also known as daddy's little girl...They call and report their husband to their father at any slight argument or conversation...The rich ones are highly dangerous especially when the husband is working directly for the father...
7.DUSTBIN WIVES ; The name might sound harsh but they exist...These wives leave the home unkept and dirty and you only see them rushing to clean the house only when they have a visitor at the door...There are several occasions were some husbands get home after a days work only to find the house upside down and dirty...
8. GOD FEARING WIVES : They are caring and loving. Provide emotional needs and create extra time
for family. Guide home spiritually, Very responsible and treat husband and family with respect.
9. FACEBOOK WIVES : they are always on the internet, Instagram, posting pictures with twisted legs, chatting and even forget to do basic chores because they want to know what is happening on FB..
So, ladies Kindly go through so that you can see where you belong and work on yourself if need be.
COPIED.
People smoke and drink for few days and become addicted to it, but I've been studying books since nursery school, but am stil not addicted to studying. SMH
ReplyDeleteI remembered a particular day, then granny was still alive. She love calling me to assist her in cooking cos i was the youngest grand daughter around her. In her house she had a particular container for garri which i was familiar with. Granny called me, but i was busy playing with frnds, immediately i remembered her rules that if you don't assist you won't eat. So i went to join her in the kitchen cos of hunger wan finish me. I stood by her side and saw the container of garri, so i tot of stealing garri, as God go do am, granny went in and immediately i opened d contained, i poured d content in my mouth only for me to discover it was uncooked EGUSI(melon). I couldn't throw it cos granny came back. I wanted to throw up but i couldn't cos if granny knws abt it. The punishment would av been bad gan. It was after some months, dat i confessed to her and she laughed it off. Granny continue to Rest In Peace.
ReplyDeleteI remembered a particular day, then granny was still alive. She love calling me to assist her in cooking cos i was the youngest grand daughter around her. In her house she had a particular container for garri which i was familiar with. Granny called me, but i was busy playing with frnds, immediately i remembered her rules that if you don't assist you won't eat. So i went to join her in the kitchen cos of hunger wan finish me. I stood by her side and saw the container of garri, so i tot of stealing garri, as God go do am, granny went in and immediately i opened d contained, i poured d content in my mouth only for me to discover it was uncooked EGUSI(melon). I couldn't throw it cos granny came back. I wanted to throw up but i couldn't cos if granny knws abt it. The punishment would av been bad gan. It was after some months, dat i confessed to her and she laughed it off. Granny continue to Rest In Peace.
ReplyDelete#Original
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteApartment For Rent
ReplyDeleteA businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling
the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.'
On the way to the office, he regretted that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclose the following typed note:
Dear Madam:
Enclosed please find a check for $250 for rent of your
apartment . I am not sending the amount agreed upon,
because when I rented the place, I was under the
impression that:
#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat and water and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.
However, I found out that:
#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat and certainly no water, and
#3 - it was much too large for my comfort.
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately
returned the check for $250 with the following note:
'Dear Sir:
#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a
beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat and water, my apartment has plenty if you
know how to turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture
to fill it, please do not blame the management.
So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced
to contact your present landlady...
😁
Copied.
My story sometime ago...will share this to inspire others.
ReplyDeleteI woke on the wrong side of the bed and hate how stresful my boss and job was.
There's always this yeye traffic at the junction of my house because of Nigerians and their nobody must first me attitude. Whilst doing this five minutes trek from my house to the bus stop this little girl who couldn't be more than 8 walked up to me with a basin clutched by her side.
She was the literal definition of skin and bones,like someone painted in skeleton brown.
Then she said...pls can you give me money to buy pure water and sell?
I noticed she didn't beg for money to buy food or anything else,she specified what she wanted to use the money for.
I asked her if she's eaten she said no,I asked y isn't she in school? She said her parents couldn't afford it. I was wondering how a lil girl of 8 hadn't eaten and her first goal in d morning was to hustle in traffic.
My sadness just wiped off cos i was wondering here's a girl who actually had real problems fam. I gave her some money and instructed her to eat to her full and go back home...of which i was sure she was going to be abused again.
She thanked me with the most sincere thank you i had ever received in my life,she zoomed to one shop,bought one bag of pure water and one pack of indomie chicken flavour,said that was what she wanted and started eating it raw,she didn't even touch one water in her basin,she put it in her head and started her routine traffic hustle.
I didn't know when I burst into tears,i was just using scope to clean my eyes like it was smoke entering it and faking cough lol. I didn't have to hate my job again.
Now tell me how difficult your life is?
Why can't people wait for someone to return their missed calls? Y wud you be calling me 13times in 3mins? Am I with your destiny?
ReplyDeleteLol.. destiny kwa..
DeleteI remember that ex that told me she was getting married while we were dating n she had the nerve to cry to??....Bitch that was my part!!😂
ReplyDeleteI was at the baptismal class today.. One of us was asked one question which the answer is in the booklet that was given to us... We are even allowed to check it if you don't know it..
ReplyDeleteNa so my sister start to dey shake..
Q: tani o fi oruko yi fun oo
A: sir,, me,.yes u
Uhn Uhn uhm...actually MI o ka iwe yi.. Infact e dey do me like say I want shit
..ontop question ooo..
We all busted into laughter cos d way she was fidgeting as if say Na lecturer dey follow am talk is funny...
#original
DeleteWish I can find laughter in all of these. Why is startup so hard? All the little little Cash I raise go into this dream but it still crawling..
ReplyDeleteWhy must seemingly little things be difficult for Nigerians? You can't get job, you decide to start a business and you are faced with different challenges. You can't get loans, no investors.
Now I respect all entrepreneurs that started and made it big in this country. And to the rest of us struggling may we find the help we need to set our business on a fast lane amen.
This is not a rant post I know, but this is my gist. and all that has occupied my head this whole week is how to fund my business
Domestic punishment
ReplyDeleteI offended my wife and she insisted a million sorries were not enough. I didn't know what to do, so I asked her to choose a punishment she considered satisfactory.
She said I should do all chores for one week. I quickly agreed. That was the worst punishment I served in living memory.
If you think you have patience, wait till your wife leaves you with two kids and goes to gist with a neighbor for hours. One hour seemed like 1 year. Yelling and commanding fell on deaf ears; it was as if the kids conspired with their mother to raise their disturbance to power 2.
I couldn't even take my calls; Facebook update was no-go area; the crying was loud and persistent.
What of the poopooing and peeing? And for someone easily disgusted, I was sooo beaten and alarmed.
The house cleaning, dish-washing were something else. I learnt that one child can use 3 dresses/wears per day.
Preparing their meals was like Kachikwu and fuel. Preparing ordinary pap was like Buhari and 2016 budget. I wasted a couple of dishfuls before I came close to getting it right. Then, the feeding proper was like Fashola and electricity. For every spoon each of them took, we had to run around for several minutes. I was furious but they were laughing and playful.
By the second day, I was completely humbled and asked for amnesty. Processing the application was like Nigerian police doing crime investigation. Approving the application was like Nigerian military defeating Boko Haram in Sambisa forest.
In the end, to win a temporary amnesty, it took APC tactics on Nigerians; I made so many promises without thinking of how to fulfill any. I just wanted to get off the punishment.
Mothers are something out of this world. They're so special that it is only them that can be called Mothers.
##copied#
Woooooow...my neighbour actually named her son Efe. Even our dear baby is team Efe from womb. BBNaija see wetin una don cause o
ReplyDeleteThe most painful aspect of this BBN thing was when my 11years old neighbour's son told me of how he got 200naira's card and use it to vote.So who did you vote for,Only for the small devil to open his mouth and shout "Efe"😭😭😭😭 after I don shout my lungs out say na Tboss matter I carry for head, even use am sew buba and wrapper wear then nack facecap and tie gele ontop with canvass for leg.😩.I can't wait for this BBN thing to end tomorrow jor.even kids got caught up in the BBN fever😅😅
DeleteYeah in recent years, people value the bank note forgetting we all have God given organ that can actually make us survive anywhere in the world, can actually make us become successful more than we can imagine, we can be more respected with it than any other thing.. Nigerians wake up and let's use this wisely...
ReplyDeleteMy service In a giffy, congrats to all stream 1.
ReplyDelete