Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Architect Jumoke Adenowo Tells Women To Be Submissive, They Must First Be Powerful

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Wednesday, 14 June 2017

Architect Jumoke Adenowo Tells Women To Be Submissive, They Must First Be Powerful

 Jumoke Adenowo – award-winning Nigerian architect, entrepreneur, and philanthropist, as well as a speaker, radio host, and author gave a story of her life when told to Kemi Adetiba On Monday...


Jumoke Adenowo’s episode of King Women is a punchline fest, all packed with thought-provoking quotables as the renowned architect goes from her life story and into societal concepts. She takes on the ideologies of the Nigerian society that need to be re-examined and even adjusted.

Eloquent and intelligent in disbursing her ideas and ideologies, Jumoke Adenowo is a gem. Sounding off her feminist views, she actually navigates the topic of marriage especially in Africa at a time where feminism in marriages was not really a thing intelligently. It has to be established that not everything is black and white and especially with human relationships and interactions, one shoe does not fit all.


Her episode – Episode 11 is a must watch, but here are a couple of takeaways from the episode.


To be a woman, is to be vile

She recalls an event when she was 37 and was with her husband. In inquisitive fashion, she tried to see the podium better and her husband helped her up by lifting her up to get on the podium. When she was there, a SSS operative looked at her with disgust and asked “Do you see any women here?” Anti-feminists today argue that women don’t need feminism as women are free these days, but the truth is – there remains a prejudice against women in Africa and especially Nigeria and while in communities like the US it’s subtle, Nigerian men very often show their disgust for women.



Women with father figures grow up better and different from women without father figures: 

Daddy issues are a real thing. Women are usually less assertive and less likely to understand rules and follow them because they lacked their own daddies. While this might seem mild, most women begin to look for a man or daddy in their partners and this leads to terrible dysfunctional relationships where one person is treated like crap and taken for granted.


To be submissive, you must be powerful first:

 Sitting down when it is suggested or instructed that you have a seat without having your alternative is mere obedience. To be a real KING or QUEEN, you should have your own things covered and locked down. Jumoke Adenowo said she did not mind not having a rich husband because she knew she was going to be rich. Before a person can lay claim to anything, they must first have the power over that thing. Getting a No on a trip when you can’t afford it and staying home is obedience.


Children shouldn’t be made to deal with their parents issues:
 

Mummy married daddy and not you. You do not have to bear the burden of daddy’s infidelities and actions or inactions. Children should be children because they can and should only be children. Most stuck up people today come from backgrounds where they have had to bear the burden of stressful relationships and needed to age because they instantly became backs and psychologists taking up adult roles when they were just children.



The first generation of Nigerian men trying to deal with monogamy might have done a shitty job

Learning feminism, learning and unlearning homophobia as well as learning that the enigma that is Bobrisky should be understood and left alone wasn’t quite difficult for me, but it was a task as is every learning curve. Looking at Nigeria in the past where fathers had at least two wives to the golden age of one wife, the middle class dream must have been steep. Despite going to court and church and getting exposed, men of those days argued that monogamy was not a male thing. While a lot of them tried, a lot of them failed.

 The outside concubine, the additional wife, the random child that showed up at the burial of the man or during property sharing were still a thing. Even now, Nigerian men are still showing ‘scummy’ tendencies but it might be better. A lot more people know better. Despite not having the perfect one daddy, one mummy template, it’s getting better.


In the early 70’s you couldn’t have one child:

 What was worse than having no child as a Nigerian woman? Having one child. It showed that the woman was a one hit wonder, a James Blunt, a Theo Walcott. Despite advances in science now, Nigeria is still mostly backward and a woman needs to have more than one child to prove that she is a woman and as a woman, it’s only right that she be useful for breeding and only kitchen purposes. Now, women are taking a stand! Men are becoming feminist allies! People are seeing that relationships are about communication and old templates do nothing but ruin general happiness levels – levels already getting ruined by the state of the world, Nigeria and how sick the naira is in comparison to the dollar.
via Ynaija

Watch here


30 comments:

GALORE said...

OK Ma


We haff hear


Love me my @Kemi Adetiba




@Galore

Alloy Chikezie said...

Woman of substance.

Your comment will be visible after approval.

EESAH (MR NOBODY) said...

Every man needs a submissive woman. I can only date and marry a submissive woman while I love and respect her in return.

All over feminism advocacy women, to the left, to the left.

Doppelgänger said...

"To be a real KING or QUEEN, you should have your own things covered and locked down. Jumoke Adenowo said she did not mind not having a rich husband because she knew she was going to be rich. Before a person can lay claim to anything, they must first have the power over that thing." Chronicles poster of today should read that until it sinks in.

Princepalacenews said...

True talk

Viridescent said...

"Mummy married daddy and not you. You do not have to bear the burden of daddy’s infidelities and actions or inaction". C'est tellement vrai...

BEDS AND ROSES said...

I find nothing wrong in being submissive. Submission to a man that respects you, loves you and values your opinion.
In every organization there must be a leader. Same applies to a home.
You can be a feminist and still be submissive.
Nice article

Brandedme said...

Is DAT y u can't shout?

Anonymous said...

I was just thinking same of the chronicle poster.
Poverty is a horrible sickness, and having parents who knows better goes a long way.
Jumoke has a edge on most Nigerian ladies. She grew up touring the world with her parents, many of these girls wish for only a 10th of that. Even if they take a moment to think they can be productive by themselves, the responsibilities staring in their face is destiny wrecking. It's pathetic


MrsBee

Cynthia Iyede said...

Before a person can lay claim to anything, you must first have power over it. This is it!👊

Kamikaze said...

I remember writing here about meeting her last year.My mentor.Awesome woman.That meeting left an indelible mark and created a huge impression on me as I had been following her life and career for so long.Such a genius!She was once featured on African Voices.

Anonymous said...

As usual, everyone seems to miss the point.
She is saying that submissiveness is different from obedience.

If you are instructed to sit down and you have no other choice or alternative but to sit as instructed you are simply doing what you are told... hence obedience

If you are instructed to sit and you have the option to lie down or to stand or even to walk away and you decide to sit down, you have acquiesced... hence submission.

Women should always put themselves in a position where they have a choice to say yes or no.. to agree or to disagree. Don't be backed up in a corner where you have to OBEY because you have no other choice.. that's when the disrespect comes in. If your partner knows that you have a choice not to obey him, he will respect you more if and when you do as opposed to him knowing you have no other choice but to obey, that makes him your master and you, his obedient wife and not his submissive wife

Anonymous said...

Me self I don't mind not having a rich husband as I am on my way to been wealthy, but fuckboys everywhere.

Anonymous said...

I am hoping you understood her point about submission and obidience...

YahooBoy said...

Just like broke men (I hate to finance shame men) always talk about women being gold diggers and all, some women who are broken like to attach all their failures to men and label themselves feminists in the process.

If a woman has money and the husband says don't go somewhere and she has money to go, her friends would advise her to disobey (under the guise of feminism) and she'd agree with her friends.

I think most women are getting it wrong. How do you keep shouting feminism when you see everything wrong with Mary J Blige paying her ex $30k a month but it's alright for Tiger Woods to pay his ex $100m (?). A lot of people say 'why should I do this for a man?' but it's ok if the man does it for you

I like this woman's POV. It's very refreshing because it goes both ways. Women need to make their own money and men need to stay on their game.

CreamyBee said...

Hmmmmm.eeyah

Anonymous said...

isn't she the same one straffing Fayemi?

Nonye Inspired (James Bond's Girl) said...

wow Woman is very powerful..so assertive and full of wisdom...I want to meet this woman

Beautiful heart said...

I think you should watch the video she made a whole lot of sense.

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Whatever you do, don’t get stuck on the one thing that ruins your day. Smile and be grateful. Life is too short to waste on negativity*

AbaMade said...

This talk about women and how they should act is getting old! The principal thing is respect, respect each other opinions, feelings and compromise sometimes period.

Anonymous said...

May heaven punish you for what you just wrote

Anonymous said...

I concur with you

Anonymous said...

Let her go and sit down Jo. U do not have the same struggles as other girls growing up. Your way is working for you, fine. Don't try to impress it on others. Everybody is a fighter in their own way.
Girl bye!

Anonymous said...

You must be a nuisance

Anonymous said...

Anybody that's has not test being poor Before becoming wealthy has no moral justification to advise poor pple how to be rich Cos she don't knw how they feel.
She should go & sit down somewhere with her nonsense advise.

Anonymous said...

Anony, im very sure she does understand.

Anonymous said...

Is poverty an excuse to become a leech? If you are botn poor, work at making a difference rather than fighting the rich or counting ceilings to make it. Hard work pays.

Anonymous said...

Abeg all those foolish idiots who have not yet watch the video watch the whole video first before u jump to stupid conclusions that makes you stupid. Stella you should have posted the video instead

Anonymous said...

Jumoke Adenowo...i hope one day u ll remember the innocent man u punished and put in prison all through xmas. Sure you found out he was innocent later...u didnt even say sorry or feel remorseful. Yet preach Christ everyday!

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