Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Omugwo Chronicles 55

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Saturday, 15 July 2017

Omugwo Chronicles 55

Na wah oh!



Good day Stella, your omugwo episodes last year kept me sane through out my pregnancy period and I promised myself I would share mine after I had my baby so here goes. 


I had my baby through Cesarean section and was discharged three days later. My mum is late and my mother in law was not around when I gave birth so my sister in law had to come stay with me, Chai Stella it was hell for me.


 My sister in law came with her children to stay and you would think I would get all the help I needed since she came with her three children, but that was not the case o. My sister in law would prepare food like like rice, Eba, yam, for me that I just delivered, not only that oo, the food were either too salty or not well cooked and I couldn't tell her because I didn't want to offend her. 


The only thing she helped me with was bathing the baby and washing the baby's clothes. I carried the baby both day and night, when I was supposed to be resting... No body helped me with that.. To make matters worse, whenever my baby was sleeping and I wanted to sleep, that is when this woman would decide to bring her guest into my room to entertain them hereby disturbing me and my baby.


Because the food was bad, I couldn't not eat at all for days and I had to breastfeed on an empty stomach. I begged her to help me get malt or juice to give me strength since she wasn't preparing what I felt like eating but she refused. So not only was I not getting enough rest or sleep, I was starving.

Two days after I got home, my baby tested positive to jaundice and we had to go back to the hospital as she was admitted and I had to stay with my baby cos I was breastfeeding. Stella, I was sleeping on the floor in a rat and mosquito infested room, bathing outside and urinating and pooing outside o... 


It was a miracle that my operation site didn't tear open or get infected. I had to wake up multiple times at night to breastfeed my baby... At this point all my husbands siblings were around o, and they were staying at our house. Do you know that none of them came to check me or bring food for me at the hospital? My husband had to buy food at restaurants to bring to me.


My in-laws and husband were more concerned about the naming ceremony. The hospital released my baby to go for the naming ceremony but we brought her back after. Even at the naming ceremony,asides crying myself out of depression, despite all my husband spent on the ceremony (he bought cows oo), I did not taste ordinary pure water. Those that were sent to get me food came back saying my in-laws insulted them. I had to buy food at a restaurant on our way back to the hospital. We were at the hospital for one more week. These people did not come check on me or my baby or even bring me food through out. 


When I complained to my husband, he asked me if I was the first woman to go through a CS or if I was the the only one whose child had jaundice... That I should suck it up and stop complaining

After we were discharged from the hospital, I got to my house and I started crying. Stella, my house was a dumpster. The clothes I was washing in the washing machine before I went into labour two weeks back was still there, my dirty clothes were all piled up in a corner, there were dirty clothes, plates every where. my room and bathroom was filled with dead roaches and dirt  as were all the rooms and bathrooms in the house, my kitchen was filled with used plates, pots, the bins were full and smelling, I had to pick up a broom to sweep and wash the whole place because of my baby, I was crying while doing all these. My whole house was an indescribable mess... 


To make matters worse, one of my sister in laws came that night without notice and asked me to cook for her... Na so I enter kitchen cook rice ooo

I was depressed for months after having my baby, I missed my mother so much that there were days I wanted to kill myself, other days I just cried for my mother, my husband through all this supported his sisters ooo, they can do no wrong by him....

 I'm fine now though, and I thank God for helping me through that period. It wasn't easy but the experience made me a strong mother, and I know my in-laws for who they are, no more pretending to like them abeg ... I've forgiven them though...



*I nearly threw up reading your story...dirty hospital to dirty house......How did Roaches get into your home?Please do something about it ooooo *100percent irritated*

As for your in laws......how can all of them be bad as described and you still cooked rice for the one that came the night you were cleaning up?My dear,I don't know what to say to you because there is no way i would have kept quiet,I would have tackled that issue with them immediately.......

good that you moved on ,if it happens again with the next Omugwo,do not keep quiet............


56 comments:

GIFT E THE JAMB GIRL said...

As much as I wud like to lay blames on your in laws,I think you are one of those women who complain a lot.the part where you stated that they refused to wash your clothes ahn ahn.This your story sounds too far fetched abeg.

Jeni_zee said...

Ur in laws nd husband behaved silly , I hate men who don't have regard for their wife, the funny thing is that ur sister inlaw would choose her hubby over ur husband any day any time, yet ur hubby treats u anyhow because of them.. I blame ur husband

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

How can your husband kill a cow for a naming ceremony but can not put you guys in a good hospital or even get a help for you?...
You had a to sleep in a dirty hospital floor with rats and ochicha for days!...
Someone that just gave birth??...
Gosh!...
You see why I worship my husband?...he can never allow me or my children suffer like this...
He would rather do the suffering than allow me to go through it!...
Poster sorry oh!...

Super Model said...

I can never tolerate such thing. You must be a good person, next time you get pregnant prepare ahead of time and get your self a nanny to avoid all these stories that touches the heart.

classywithahintof_sassy Diana said...

Madam thank God he kept u through that trying period , pls next omugwo don't even bother to invite them and look for other means to get through it.

Brandedme said...

O ha o
Am sure they are Yoruba
Poster weldone at least you knpw wat to expect in ur next omugwo

Bee10(mummytwins) said...

Cooked for your in-law walahi I will not cook Nada! You try sef but why you allow them see you finish like that? You should have gotten someone to help you do your chores instead you waiting for in-laws that have skoin skoin. God help you next time

Anonymous said...

Na wa o! Nothing like your own mother abeg!!! When I had my baby I went straight from the airport to my mothers house. Anybody that wanted to come and see me had to come there. Then on Sunday I took her to see my husbands parents and straight back to my mothers house. Though the omugwo period had passed sha by the time I came back and guess who was with me abroad..... my mother

Anonymous said...

Sounds like what my in laws are capable of... Stella will send in my chronicles soon.

sexy Daddy said...

Madam congratulations to you on the birthing of the baby!
But on the other hand there is something you are not telling this blog concerning your inlaws.You seem to me like some that buckles something in the mind with a fake smile pretending its OK and goes behind with bitter complaints. Wake up madam.If someone offends you tell the person and tackle the issue once and for all.
And don't forget to have a heart to heart talk with your husband on how you feel about what his people did to you or still doing to you.
Wishing you the best.

Miss Ess said...

Where is queen and boss, whatever she says on this I stand wlth her except knacking of pigeon...... come, are you sure they like you at all in that house, even your husband? Hmmmm, can you continue like this? I already fear for you in this matrimony.

Blackberry said...

Your oga can buy cow for naming but sent u to rat infested place where they have no bathrooms n u had to athe outside?
Where are your own family?
Sisters?
Cousins?

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Na dem nah...
They borrow money to throw a talk of a town party and go hungry the next day!...

akudo ukazu said...

Hmmm na real wa, men for me my hubby knows I don't even have strength sef. Women it's the leg you gave to them while entering into the family. For me Lai Lai ooo I no send anybody message oooo. If I tire I tire if u want to eat enter kitchen and help yourself out. Lol my mum is still much more alive oooo I dey pray everyday make nothing happen to her for me ooooo

Chiamaka L said...

This story so smells like "there are 3 sides to all stories" for one, what was your husband eating when you were supposedly starving? who told you that you could not go and buy malt by yourself? Those that went to bring food for you? what? At your Child's naming? you could not go to get the food yourself? finally, are you an only child that none of your siblings could come and assist you?
In conclusion, be like the poster who had a horrible "in law" Omugwo and decided to Omugwo herself for baby no 2. Make sure your home is fully stock before you put to bed. Do not allow your sister in law come for Omugwo, you can rent a mom/ get an elderly woman to come bathe your baby for the first few weeks.
Recommendation: Poster, you sound so awful, you also sound like a complainer and someone who is without gratitude. Then you sound so entitled that I am forced to believe that you are insatiable. Please check yourself.

Frau Juliet said...

Don't mind the poster dear. The husband bought Cows not even a cow. And the husband allowed her stay in a rat infested hospital with the baby and to even think she had to bathe outside. That one no be hospital again but "Nurse Eliza Maternity"

queen hadassah said...

Poster reading your chronicles got me angry. Your husband and in-laws are wicked, lazy and dirty. Next time please get a help to assist you with the house chores and do your omugwu yourself. I have a friend who delivered a set of twins via CS. Her mum couldn't come for omugwu cos her dad was sick. She did her omugwu herself although they had "umu boys" living with them, so they used to help with the house chores. Please don't rent any woman to do omugwu for you before they give your baby witchcraft.
Also take charge of your home, don't let your in-laws push you around

Rhoda Rex said...

Yinmu. Wait till u see wicked sisters-in-law. Then you will understand better.

Anonymous said...

Some inlaws are from hell. My edd is today and i remember someone asking ny mother inlaw how many months she will spend with me when i give birth and she responded if i dnt have mother.my husband gives me money monthly yet she complains that am controling her son.so i dnt expect anytin good from her and i no longer pretend.god help us.

Rhoda Rex said...

😂😂😂 @nurse Eliza maternity.

James' hater said...

This is her first experience as mother and she delivered through CS, I guess that's why she was too weak to cook and and go out to buy things. You forgot that she went to her child's naming ceremony straight from the hospital, you don't have to say things you don't know. See as you just sat down to discredit her story and run her down

STARRY LARRY said...

Queen and boss I tired o, did you read where she said the only thing her SIL and her 3kids does is to bath her baby and washing the baby's clothes, yet she met some unwashed clothes she was washing when she fell into labor at home. I don't believe everybody from a family can think and behave same way. I know they might be unhelpful but there's no way they won't have any good side




*Larry was here*




*Larry was here*

STARRY LARRY said...

Cows point of correction. I don't know maybe because her mum is not alive, nobody from her own side can come to help.




*Larry was here*

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm. I don't blame your in-laws , I blame your husband. Sorry to say but he is a very useless man. Why couldn't ur husband help you wash the cloths in the washer, why didn't he clean up the house or order his siblings too. Why ddint he wash the dishes or order his siblings too. He had money to buy cows but put you in a rat infested hospital. Your husband must be pretty dirty and lazy. He left the house in a mess and waited for you to get back and clean. Your husband is the wicked one here. Was he not sleeping in the same house. I feel like slapping the man.

Nobi's Mum said...

Poster, you complain a lot. I can't deal abeg. You can't cook for yourself and you still get to decide what you want to eat and judge a bad cook. Your sister in law shouldn't have bothered coming to stay with your ungrateful ass.

Nobi's Mum said...

Poster sounds like a very ungrateful person. A heavy nag too. I can't deal abeg. Even if she came from the hospital, she cannot take food from the naming ceremony in her own house.

Andromeda O said...

I tire for this Chiamaka.
You sound like an ass and won't be surprised if you are exactly like the poster's sister-in-law.
Nothing pisses me off than someone who just assumes rubbish.
Read the jargon you typed again.
It's her first pregnancy for crying out loud and no matter what she said or didn't say or whether she omitted some truth, it doesn't change the fact that her husband and in-laws are wicked!
Someone who just had CS! Jesus!
Not everyone has the same threshold of pain like others.
For the husband to tell her that rubbish he said, that takes the cake and someone like me would deal with him later - something he wouldn't forget in a hurry.
You're a woman too; have some compassion for chrissakes!

Andromeda O said...

Going through your post, I wondered em if you were given freely to your husband because I'm not understanding.
First pregnancy and he treats you like trash?!
I'm so angry but happy you came out alright.
The second pregnancy will file in Jesus Name and you must be prepared.
Prepared for your unreasonable husband and filthy in-laws.
Gosh, you are calm o. I'm calm and hate confrontations but not this korokoro wickedness and ill-treatment from people who came to my own house.
Begin to lay the rules down now. Don't let anyone walk over you. Stop pretending to be alright with their bullshit because this didn't just start.
They saw a prey and jumped on it.
Let me go cool off.

MamaZ O said...

Your husband cannot afford a good hospital but can afford to buy cows. Hmmmm! And you did not even eat out of the cows ! Hahahahaha!

Andromeda O said...

will come*

sholetoga said...

Hmmmm, don't even know what to say. This should have been a chronicle. An hospital that has rats and without toilet, is that one a hospital......? Cant deal biko.....Congratulations to you anyways

Jasmine said...

Gbam

Jasmine said...

Her husband is a weak man

Anonymous said...

Some people here are silly with their response. .how sure are u that she wasnt referred to place for her babys phototherapy and there are no provisions for babies mothers. I m a doctor and I ve seen such conditions in some federal medical centres and teaching hospitals. Roach , rat and mosquitoes are common.
I believe the poster. There are horrible inlaws especially if their brother is well to do. I blame her husband for not calling them to order.

;Bunmi Kenny said...

Hmm to have cs is not moin moin o bcus our individualthreshold for pain is different. Sm1 like me,after d plaster is removed,i don get my body b dat. But hw can u hv allowed such in yr home?! Nawa o. Yr hubby cld afford cows but not a better hospital. Abi d cs u did was d 1 with stiches dat Will b removed after a week???

Pls prepare yrslf wen u r pregnant with yr second belle.

Evn if u dint tell us d whole truth,yr inlaws shld nt hv treated u like dat. U cldnt even taste from yr child's naming food? Iro i,dat cant happen with me,for where!

Poster,ols hv a heart to heart talk with your hubby. Tnk God u have a girl,ask yr hubby how he will feel if yr daughter's inlaw treat her d way u were treated. Canhe tolerate it...

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Find what makes you happy and stick to it*

Anonymous said...

@16:31,I was thinking Same thing o.....d poster jus wants sympathy Jor,and its very obvious her status does not match her husbands dts y everybody has a say except her......imagine cows

Anonymous said...

As a Yoruba woman, I must say that these must be Yoruba people. Yoruba people are very self serving and extremely inconsiderate. I believe the chronicler's account of events. Lady, no one has to do anything for you. Pace yourself, do for yourself and baby and ignore everyone else. No one has to cook for you and no one has to bathe your baby. Take sponge and warm water. Wash baby, dry baby, feed baby. Repeat the same steps for yourself. Your baby won't die if he cries for a few minutes while you bathe and eat. That's how we do it in the abroad. Husbands, especially Yoruba mama's boys are typically selfish a d useless. Lastly, set boundaries, no one comes into your bedroom. I understand that culturally you may not have the liver to tell your husband's relatives to stay the he'll out of your house but you can tell them to stay put of your bedroom. A d next time one I considerate auntie tells you to cook for her, tell her " ara mi tutu" meaning my body is still cold...unhealed from child birth. Tell her and your husband that you feel like fainting. Worst case scenario, they will shout and call you names, but no free for them. PS: stop complaining, no one owes you anything except your husband.

Anonymous said...

Don't mind them. A lot of them think in only one direction which most of the time is the wrong direction

Ify Lovie Lovie said...

Really weak and insensitive to his wife.
See, some of us are really good in putting someone down. It's not everyone that is strong enough to be up and running after being operating upon.
This poster is obviously depressed, and with no good support system. Imagine staying in a rat infested hospital and none of her in laws cared to check on her and bring food for her, and they were all in her home eating and making mess of her home, haaai, God forbid evil!

Please I am begging you, don't be in a hurry to take just yet.
May God give you wisdom to manage your home, Amen.

Anonymous said...

Chiamaka is right to some extent....I gave birth thru cs too..was able to walk around after 4 days infact my mom and mother in law was around but I still got up the week after to pack my daughters. Bag for school.....though I was pampered but there re things I did myself intact they ll even scold me to rest...as for naming. .how can you let people plan naming for ur baby dts still in d hospital and u went back afterwards..... Did is a case of marrying either into a rich family wen ur family has nothing or marrying a man dts way too old that you cannot stand up to dts y he dumped you in a rat infested hospital where u had to sleep on d floor..... I'm sure d sister in laws bought baby things on her behalf.... Woman b wise and b likeable..... Peace

Ify Lovie Lovie said...

Exactly.
They saw a prey, a quiet one at that.
I sincerely hope that maybe you have someone from your side of the family to help you out next time you have a baby.
And I pray that your husband is more sensitive and considerate than he is now.
God bless your home, Amen.

Weed Chic said...

Real omugwo chronicles. I feel you though. Pele

Esther amaka said...

Lol! Queen, u contradict ursef alot.
Worship kwa?
I still dey observe.
Jisike nne!

Anonymous said...

I don't think she is whinning. Some families are very horrible and have no regards for women married into their family. Her husband is the typical village mindset Nigerian male. Very pathetic. Nasty man....nasty
Family.

....this story is just horrible and so sad. Sorry about the loss if your mum. Please stand up to that husband of yours. He is so so wicked unless you want to live like that for the rest of your life. It is better to be single than to be married to a man so insensitive and a family si wicked. May all their

Omeh said...

Oh no. This is too much for one person nau. Pele you really suffered o.

Omeh said...

My dear, I am so angry at this story. Like kilode!! All ds for one person. Poster u need to step intobur position as a wife.stop allowing everyone push u around and start from ur husband. Wen u deal with him well he will go n tell his sisters. By d way 'dealing with him will require sense o ,not fight'. I want to assume that u r a wise woman. Please claim ur home!

Anonymous said...

Men can be so insensitive. They always take sides with their family. If you like be married to them for 100yrs. No regards for their wives. When their family comes around or they are around their family they forget whether they have a wife. My husband isn't left out and when u talk they said you are complaining. Now what I do is to ignore him and don't care whether he and his family exists. And just do things that make me happy. One will not die on top of man issue. It is just a pity must Nigerian men are like this. Poster pls do not take this nonsense from any of them again. You need to be in control cos it is your house and you deserve all the respect.

Anonymous said...

Gosh!!!!!! Some ppls comments though, Nobi's mum u are very insensitive, see d way u bashed the lady, u sound wicked too.. Poster I only blame ur husband becos he x d one dat owes u anytin, be it help, comfort, money nd so on... But ur inlaws are wicked too like Nobi's mum but ignore them and tackle d issue wit ur hubby, don't bottle up anytin, spill it all out to him nd he will buckle up mehn

Anonymous said...


Hello stella I don't know if you can help post this please, I read through the comments and i feel I should explain further. For those asking why I was sleeping on the floor, the hospital is a federal hospital, the best we could find around where we stayed. The hospital I gave birth in recommended the hospital so it was not about the money...
For those saying I was lazy, I just had a major operation, I could hardly walk or stand... I was told not to carry or lift anything for months. My in-laws are not dirty people, they just chose not to be helpful.
And about if I had siblings, My siblings wanted to come but my sister in laws refused. They said there was no need, that they would take care of me, that that's how they do it in their family.

I'm not complaining or ungrateful, I just explained my Omugwo experience.

Anonymous said...

Pls mechie gi onu. Just keep quiet. Always talking from both sides of the mouth non stop.
You worship your husband, but still claim to be sleeping around.
Always trying to be relevant.

koko insurance said...

It is well dear. The Lord is your muscle. Some husband's ehhhh....God bless me with a good man I pray in Jesus name, Amen.

elle said...

This story get k-leg

silk lady said...

Anonymous 19.14 you are so right about some men being insensitive.I also ignore my husband when his relatives are around...Infact i always tell him to avoid pointing out my mistakes in the presence of his family.We women deserve to be respected.Marriage isnt childs play.

Stella Igbokei said...

So pathetic! Next time hire a caregiver or a matured nanny

Geegee said...

It is only if you have worn the aame shoe you will understand how it hurts.
Poster i can relate with everything you went through.no provision is made for mothers who their children are under the light or in the ibcubator hence you sleep on the floor or on a xhair as you need to breastfeed every 3 hours till day break.
2)until you have experienced bad inlaws who want to rule your home vecause their brother is the breadwinner dont discredit her story.
3)a first time mum should not be left alone to cater for the child or cook as post partum depreession is real and stress is a major factor.
4)your husband asking you if you are the first to undergo cs you should have educated him that no 2 pregancies are the same.
5)i think you have tolerated too much bull crap that is why you are been treated this way.upgrade.
6)learn to say no.bread and tea will suffice for anybody that is hungry.
7)your naming ceremony was not necessary at that time you could have asked the pastor to come to the hospital.learn to make decisions for your child.
Note to all please if you have not worn someones shoes dont discredit their tales.if you were able to walk a day after your cs that is you,everybody is not the same.
Poster learn to take xharge and eont ever allow anyone decide when your family can come to your house.
P.s
I slept on the floor in the hospital for 1 month when my baby was in the incubator as the other option was to stand and i am not poor, the hospital was well equipped for the issue my baby had and transsferring him was a no no as he would not have survived it and i saw hell in the first 2cmonrhs.only reasonable mothers can relate

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