Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Saturday, August 12, 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmm....



STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
COMPLICATED SITUATION

Hi Stella,


My elder brother just poured his heart out to me. According to him, He met a lady last year, the relationship between them has been blissful. She is beautiful, intelligent, can hold her own, very smart and morally upright. The thing is she doesn't like to go to church. Her idea of Christianity is different from what it is. 



She is almost an atheist. She thinks this world is too imperfect for there to be a perfect God. According to him, she practices do unto others what you want others to do unto you. By that standard, she is kind, generous and very selfless. These and many more qualities endeared her to him.



Another problem is she doesn't enjoy cooking. He would have to tease and beg for her to cook for him. On asking if she can actually cook he said whenever she enters the kitchen it is usually magical but she just doesn't enjoy it. She is lazy when it comes to house chores, but she is a professional hardworking woman. She brings work home, and would deprive herself of sleep, she goes the extra mile for her job, but hates to do laundry at home.



His confusion is made worse because he really loves her, and she has been with him through thick and thin. She is very faithful and committed according to him. She is funny, and he enjoys her company. 

He wants to settle down with her but is scared of how it might end. Is he justified to be scared.? IF posted I will direct him here. Thanks.



145 comments:

  1. Why can't girls just close their legs??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WHAT??? Did you read at all? Or SDK has started giving out gifts to first to comment?

      Delete
    2. Go back and assimilate. She never mentioned sex... there's life outside sex, that's what this chronicle is about.

      Delete
    3. She is already going to his house to cook and "service" him with her vagina and he is talking about going to church?

      Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
      . 1 Cor. 6:18

      Delete
    4. Poster,tell your brother the word of God is standard and cannot be changed for our selfish desires.
      The Bible made clare that we should not be equally yoked with unbelievers.
      Tell your brother to run for his dear life and that of his future kds if not she will be the one to lure his soul to the wrong path.
      Your brother cannot changed her bcos that's the work of holy spirit to do not his. And people like that are usually strong willed except the spirit of God touches their soul.
      Byeeeee

      Delete
    5. Nawa oooo
      Did you read it at all

      Delete
    6. Did you read the post??

      Delete
    7. Na real wa! All becoz I want to be first to comment

      Delete
    8. Anon 15:00 Sorry you hear

      See yabbing

      Delete
    9. Anon 15:20, Lmao @ur comment. Sdk blog be making my day.

      Poster, if ur brother can cope with all these in the marriage, he shld go ahead.

      Delete
    10. I see no issue here aside the religion. She can't cook, get a cook. If He cannot afford it and he knows it will be a problem for him in future leave the relationship now.
      That said why should a woman cook and do all this laundry thing for a man that is yet to wife you? What kinda expectations are those really! So you expect a woman to work so hard and still expect her to cook everyday for a man that is yet to wife her?
      By the way young woman learn to mind your business. This small issue you have come to sdk to pour out the confidence someone had in you I am guessing without his permission of course.

      Delete
    11. Mama zip up no get sense people like u are slaves in your homes ,what is wrong in cooking for your man

      Delete
    12. Tell your brother that marriage is beyound feelings and emotions.Everything you started will stand as a problem when they get married.

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    13. The first commenter is a fool. I swear

      Delete
    14. Did you evn read what was written before commenting?

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Tell him to run far from her, such women are usually feminist. They don't make good mothers or wife. She will soon start to argue about equal rights and she will never be the sit and listen kind.

      Delete
    2. 15.26 not necessarily. She will make a good wife to a man who understands her and flows with her ideology.

      Delete
    3. Your bro has inferiority complex. If I know who she is I will tell her to run. these r irrelevant problems. Since he can't deal with them I think they need to break up.

      Delete
    4. At annon such women make the best wife's. She knows her worth and she's leaving it without pretending. Through out my dating history I only cooked for my husband and thats after the engagement. I am not priding but I am a great cook but I hated to cook back then. He knew and did not mind. So in your opinion now if my sister in law sent this narrative I am a bad wife abi. The only problem here is the religion. If it was me I did just advice the man to go ahead. Religion is a thing of the mind.

      Delete
  3. Mtcheeew. There are more than a million single girls and you're here blabbing

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    Replies
    1. I wonder o. Since you need a church girl why don't you pick from you church? Sure there are loads of single girls there who are equally fun and all you described up there

      Delete
    2. Poster,tell your brother to download brother Gbile Akanni messages on ""the choice of a marriage partner and whom to marry""
      Secondly tell him to read the following scriptures and pray against missing it in life.
      2Corinthian6vs15,
      2corinthian4vs16
      1Corinthian15vs33
      Deuteronomy 7:3-4

      I pray that the spirit of thy Lord will come upon him,the spirit of wisdom and understanding,counsel and might and of knowledge and fear of thy Lord(Isaiah 11vs2)

      Delete
    3. You have said it all, always pick someone that complements you, what happens 10 to 20 years from now, she may turn out to be a feminist, you are not equally yoked, she doesn't even do the basics, how would she inculcate that in her own daughter, she will always choose career over the home front even when kids are involved. Some people make great partners as single people than married

      Delete
    4. Yes there are lots of single women no doubt.just so you know , there are more men than women in this world.

      Delete
  4. Let him leave her to find her own man. Not every lady can be domesticated, he shouldn't try to change her will just make the love die.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly!
      She obviously is made for the good life, not the suffer head type
      I like her already cos she knows exactly what she wants & what she doesn't want
      She's not pretending to be who she's not so your brother should just jejele find a 'Christian' puppet to domesticate
      Such hypocrisy on the part of your brother!
      Let him enter his church to find wife and leave that lady alone full stop!

      Delete
    2. My sentiments exactly!Thank you Glow! This lady has shown the poster's brother who she is. Please tell your brother to jejely leave her to live her life. Poster tell your brother to find someone who's okay with his wants and needs. He will only make this lady miserable trying to change her into something she clearly isn't.

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    3. I wonder o. She needs to run cos this guy will give her probs. I've been married over 15 yrs. she reminds me of myself. I can cook but hate it so I have a cook. I have a washing machine and all the props to make life easier. Luckily I married a man who allows me be myself and realizes that's just how I am so he lets me be. She's even better cos I'm not even a professional. I'm a bloody housewife. My dear woman I beg ur guy is out there waiting for u. This kind won't accept ur success

      Delete
  5. Your brother better leave her alone and introduce her here, we have her perfect partner in the house. Atheist, are you single? If yes, your brother's journey to seeking a life partner has just begun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol...
      Yes! But i dont do celibacy till wedding night, i sample my products.

      Delete
    2. Lol @ I sample my product


      *loyal bv*

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    3. @atheist really @'sample product ' what a low class way of trying to sound jocular.
      Product.
      Anyway that's how your partner sees you as' atheist the product. So ki lo ka mi be? Lolll

      Delete
  6. Feels like you just described me LOL except that I love God and believe that there is a God. How do I advise myself now ehn. I think that lots of young driven women these days are like the lady described, I speak for myself and my circle of friends who fit the description. I can cook but I don't like to do so. I have a washing machine because I don't like using the washermen. If he loves her then he'd share his fears with her. She is not an atheist, just a lazy Christian. If he is patient then he can make her better in that aspect because sincerely a good home needs to be built on God's word and foundation. He should get her interested in the things of the Lord by sharing hippy gospel songs with her, Sinach, Mairo, Nathaniel Bassey etc. Get her to start attending church with him, we have very youth oriented churches like harvesters, house on the rock etc.It's not enough to say someone isn't something when you're not setting the right examples. If he knows how to cook then he should also join her in the kitchen to keep her company,seeing as she takes work seriously then he should not expect her to cook daily. Encourage her to cook enough to be refrigerated till when she can cook again. Nothing beats a partner that makes you laugh and someone whose company you enjoy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *side eyes*
      Shes a Freethinker, not an atheist.

      Delete
    2. You just described me. I am a lazy Christian, and my hubby accepted me for who I am from the get go.
      No amount of love can make me enjoy domestic chores. However, I love my work and don't joke with it. Hubby notices and complains about it once in a blue moon. But then, I don't miss the promotions or fail professional exams.😉

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    3. Was just like this girl before getting married...After having children. .the laziness vanished somehow lol Don't know how that happened though...She will be fine..Girls like her are the best..

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    4. Thank you!!!. Although l love cooking and laundry, i dont like sweeping (but hate sand on the floor) or washing plates. I don't like dusting the furniture's too.

      The most important thing is if they have love and friendship between them. Nobody is perfect and from your description, that gurl has it 90%. About God, let him start praying for her (men should pray too, not only women)n his prayer points should be for God to arrest her like he did Paul. Let him begin drawing her to God, not arguing with her about God. Because for me ehh, I'm a passive christain and want to love God deeply and truly (fab mum I took your advice). Like have a relationship with him and right now, before a man issue will enter my life, i want God first but if God want to use a man as his instrument in my life, no p.

      He should be able to cultivate her in God presence. Let him get on his knees for what his heart wants and stop looking for a perfect person. When it comes to domestic aspect, ley him sit her down and communicate with her. If she love him, she will compromise for him too. Women are like that.

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    5. Me too,I don't like cooking...I only cook because I'm a lady that's expected to cook but I love guys that cooks very well.... I love housekeeping... But in an easy way...where instead of washing with hands,machine does them etc😘😘😘

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    6. My family's "style" has probably contributed in no small way to spoil me when it comes to cooking. I can cook. I am very good at throwing things into the pot but doing the work before the cooking is what I don't like. ➕ all the men in my family(nuclear and extended) cook and enjoy doing so. They also get married to women who enjoy being cooked for. Am I to understand that the men in my family have been emasculated? Na 9ja mentality dey make most people marry wrong people

      Delete
  7. With all these things you listed up there and your brother still want to marry her?
    They will always see the sign and pretend that it's nothing.
    If he can overlook and do all those things you listed up there, then he is good to go.

    ReplyDelete
  8. He is justified to be worried not scared. The most important place - not the only place - for the woman is the home! Even if he copes with this behavior now, can he cope when children start coming?
    He has to choose, though. For me, a woman whose priority is her home, is it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are a Correct man. Leave sexy daddy to be yarning dust

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    2. This is the VERY ORIGINAL anonymous with a blog id😂😂😂😂😂

      Delete
  9. Let him not even try it!faith is very important in marriage, it will play up in many situations as they go on in marriage. I advise he breaks up with her.

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  10. Your brother should not be scared to make a better woman of her!

    Her good side are more than her bad side.
    He can thrill her into doing house chores and cooking easily; he should always try and take the lead.

    He should try to make her see the fun side of cooking by joining her in the kitchen. While she is washing the meat, he can slice the onions etc..

    Since she doesn't like cleaning the house, that can be easily resolved. They should hire a househelp.

    Since your brother is a Christian, he should continue to pray for/with her. Also he should live by godly example, he should be the mirror through which she can see clearly how truthful and peaceful a believer should be. He should be a light to drive out the darkness and doubts in her.

    If he love her, he should go ahead and marry her. If she makes him happy and feel a kind of peace within himself whenever he's with her, then she's the right person for him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for that. Nobody is perfect. We all are imperfect. What's the guarantee that the next girl that is a church goer and domesticated will make a good wife? The poster brother should just get to work on what he wants. No good thing comes ease. The girl sef is very good if I'm asked.

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    2. Abeg this your advice no gel. Don't go ahead and marry someone you don't share the same values with

      Delete
  11. I like her already *😎😎😎*
    When it comes to a lifetime partner & bliss, we'd all have to compromise, if i sit her down also, she'd probably list ur shortcomings & request for xtra sheet, youve known her 4a while now, you alone can say if shes worth swallowing panadol for from time to time till you trip accidentally and kick the bucket. Atheists are jst awesome beings, he wont regrt spendin 4ever and a day with her, although i frown at her untidy nature.
    #AtheismRocks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If Atheist are wholesome being ,then tell me what justify the doom you wished Stephen cooker and her partner?
      May God have mercy on your soul.

      Delete
    2. Some how I believe atheist are those who want to live a life of sin with out feeling guilty about God judging them or heaven and hell.

      I also feel atheist are those who have had close relationship with God and then needed something from God which he didn't do at the time they wanted it. They give up and believe there is no God because they ask questions like if there is a God, I have served him delivery, why then has he forsaken me

      I also believe some atheist are those who have read a lot of books that makes them even question their own existence and the existence of God. Some atheist are quite brilliant because they have read a lot, acquired a lot of knowledge also.

      Which group do you belong?

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    3. Lol@ Fab mum, youre wrong!
      I belong to the group that seeks concrete & substantial evidence to convince me, we dont swallow wats handed down to us just bcus billions of ppl believe its right & it works, we'd require our own hypothesis & xtensive research to the root... A guy named Jesus was immaculately birthed by a virgin 2000 yrs ago would fly, extraordinary claims require eztraordinary evidence, although i must admit alot of unanswered questions reside here on earth with us, but unlike religion chalks it all to God works in mysterious ways, we cant question his ways, alpha n omega bullshit, science & reality wears a white glove and digs to China, where religion shuts a door, science opens 2 and make more discovery, fanatics will say "If God wanted humans to occupy planet Mars or Saturn he'd have put us there as well".... that stupid saying didnt limit the mind that thinks outside the box, we shuttle our asses out there and pinned a flag, xploring the damn place. Its always easier to fool a kid than an adult, thats why indoctrination its always at the early stage, watever ur blank mind grasps at that tender age is almost impossible to let go... its psychology, why'd u think kids molested are damged psychologically?

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    4. So you are saying if giving proof and what not, you will believe there is a God? Let's say for instance when something happens and even science can't explain how it happened?? Because where science fail, God steps in. We have heard if such things even here and around. I'm sure you have heard of unexplainable situations where science can't even explain how it happened

      Also are you saying you do not believe in bad and evil? What then do you believe in? If you believe in good and bad, then surely you would know that the bad in the world is controlled by someone we the Christians like to refer to as devil. Are you also saying that you do not believe in all this juju men, ritualist and all that? Like when someone says they went to baba lawo to kill someone and the person dies, you believe it's coincidence or actually the juju issh?

      Chinese still confuse me you know. Especially the Taoism. Because they claim not to believe in one Supreme God but believe in gods who are of the world. Like Lao tsu. Some Chinese also believe in nature, they also worship some deities who they believe were once of the world like the one is said to be loyal god and others.
      But then that's not my point. I'm still reading about them seeing I didn't for one know they have over 40% atheist till of recent .. I always thought they were all budhist. Always thought they were religious seeing they have a lot of temples..

      Alot of atheist today were brought up in Christians home. I believe you were to because you seem to know the Bible.

      Do you believe in good and evil?

      Delete
    5. My ex was agnostic. The girl is agnostic not atheist

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  12. First issue- I don't think God will judge anyone based on their religion,He will judge them according to their deeds...she knows there's a God but evil deeds in the world has clouded her thinking .

    Second issue-not every woman enjoys cooking but let them both work around that.


    Meanwhile let me jump on people's comment and tap from their understanding👌

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    Replies
    1. Ibk do not be deceived no one cometh to the father except through me,says Jesus.

      Delete
  13. Is he born again? Have you read in the bible about unequal yoke? He shouldn't make the devil his father in law o.All that glitters ain't gold,if she's not a Christian, then it would be a sin.

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    Replies
    1. That unequally yoked stuff just gets most Christians in deep trouble. A marriage between a Muslim and a Christian will be seen as unequally yoked but are they really? What you're saying is that anybody who isn't a Christian is a child of the devil? Sister/brother, watch lest you find yourself in hell and the "daughter/son of the devil" in heaven

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    2. abeg park well, even ur christians discriminate big time, Deeper lifers not marrying Pentecostals, J witnesses not Marrying catholics and the rest.... yet theyre all under the umbrella of christianity. marriage wey go hit rock go still hit rock, its basic comprehension.. y'all keep making simple issues complicated, like its not hard enuf to find a lifemate.

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    3. @Broomstick ,na Bible talk am
      No need of getting angry over it dear because the word of God is standard and cannot be changed.
      2corinthian6:14,made it clear that we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.

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    4. You born again Christians haff tire me walahi!!..
      When Jesus was spreading the good news, he dined with sinners, those one written off by the 'righteous' ones. He made mattew, the tax collector an apostle. He allowed Mary magdalene ( prostitute) to wash his feet and that woman became one of the greatest disciple of Jesus. He dined with zacchaeus, a chief tax collector. I can go on and on. So where y'all left your love and accommodation I don't know!. Jesus came for the sinners, unbelievers not born again. That girl only need to be shown the love of God and that God is closer than she thinks. You are already condemning her and advising him not to marry her. Do you know if God wants to use that union of marriage to get his daughter back?.. do you?.
      I came for that sinners, broken hearted, lost sheep.. says the Lord. Poster if your brother really love that daughter of God like God loves even the sinners and asked us to love and pray for them, then he should table her before the Almighty.

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    5. Broom stick, unequally yoked is different from how you are seeing it. What the Bible meant is don't be with someone who doesn't share your faith. A Muslim and a Christian marriage is unequally yoked. Because they do not share the same faith of believe. One would try to convert the other... As a Christian, there are group of Christians I wouldn't consider marrying if I were so single because we do not share the same believe and fakth. Like jehovah witness. I can't marry them. It's an example. It doesn't have to be christain / Muslim thing

      In this case he is a believer of God and she has doubt. They are unequally yoked. But hers can be worked on. That of atheist can't be worked on

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    6. Princess, when reading the bible, read the proceeding verse, the verse in question and the next verse and you'll understand what is being said. In short, read that unequally yoked verse alone and ask God not your pastor for understanding. I had to reread my comment and I don't get where the "angry" is coming from.
      Fabmum, you're a Christian and discriminating against other Christians. How do we convince people who don't share our faith that it is good? I can't believe you tried to correct me by using an instance that is one of the points atheists use against us. The word of God truly tells no lies for it is written that broad is the path that leads to destruction but narrow that which leads to eternal life. How do you know that the God whom Christians serve is the one true God? It's because you've prayed and had a conviction in your spirit, true? Now, what makes you feel the true Muslims haven't done same and had same convictions? Back to the Bible I go. "Judge not, lest thou be judged...". Please, for the salvation of your soul, don't rely solely on what your MOG tells you. We own bibles and have an open path to God through Jesus so that we can also commune with him one on one. Unless you have other scriptures you can use to back your "unequally yoked" argument, I'd say you shouldn't support it

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    7. Thank you fabmom,Atheist and co may God open your eyes.

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    8. *preceding

      Fabmum, maybe KJV is the problem. Here's what Good news version says: 2Cor. 6:14 verbatim "Do not try to work together as equals with unbelievers, for it cannot be done. How can right and wrong be partners? How can light and darkness live together?". She's not doing anything contrary to this scripture you insist on quoting cos she believes in God up to a certain point. This writeup doesn't even tell us if the guy is born again and we've all concluded that the girl is the devil's spawn. I will try not to talk again so it won't be as if I'm forcing anybody to love God

      Delete
    9. I didn't want to comment on this post, but let me. All I will say is that it has been scientifically proven that couples who do not share the same values are more likely to hit the rocks in the nearest future. So there IS something in not being unequally yoked.

      Delete
    10. Broomstick the Bible says we should not be unevenly yoked, just like it warned the israelites not to marry people from other nations because they do not have the same standard with the israelites and the Bible clearly states that they will make them leave the true God to worship other gods.

      Talking about unevenly yoke, the term was used to describe how animals were merged to work as they were the tractors of the old. When you merge animals of equal strength to plough the ground, the job will go smoothly, but if you merge a strong animal with a weak one, the job and the animals will suffer, as the strong one will be pulling at the weak one, while the weak one is dragging the strong one back.

      In the context explained above, you'll agree with me that even 2 people from the same denomination can be unevenly yoked. Let's say as a Jehovah's witness, one person is grounded but the other still question a lot of inspired utterances even though they are both Jehovah witnesses, their marrying each other is a recipe for disaster.
      So the Bible is advising us to marry those of the same spiritual strength so that we can worship God together and strengthen each other.

      Delete
    11. Broom stick, that exanpke was me being honset and sharring how I see unequally yoke. I believe in God the father, son and holy spirit. I believe in the birth of jesus and his celebration of his birth death and resurrection. I believe in alot of things the jehovah witness do not believe in. Like I find it absurd that they wouldn't take blood no matter the situation and they have their own explanation which doesn't sit well with me. Me marrying them would be alot of contradictions. Because I'll go ahead and take blood where as they wouldn't. I'll celebrate the birth of jesus and even my birthday. What will my supposed hubby be say assuming I marry one of them? . He would want to win me over and when that isn't working, the marriage wil pack up. That's my point. Not because I hate them but alot of things don't seat well with me and their explanations to those things are not convincing enough. They don't so xmas and I do. And alot of things



      I am not even saying he shouldn't marry her. I'm explaining what I think unequal yoke means. An saying it doesn't have to be a muslom /Christian thing

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    12. Fan mum, you gave an example, which is what I also did. Anyways, your point(s) is/are noted. Thanks

      Delete
  14. Poster your brother no get wahala!As far as the lady is working and will be bringing something on the table he is good to go!

    See eeh,marriage is beyond to cook,to fuck and wash clothes!You guys can always hire somebody to do that for Una😰.
    Wish you the best!

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    Replies
    1. Hire someone to fuck?

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    2. hahahaaha anonymous, nothing is impossible in this our country

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  15. Hum do not marry an unbeliever that is my own advice especially if you are a true Christian. Marriage life becomes hardship and it takes the love of God to overcome it all. I will liken it to going to the cross again. All the good qualities he sees today will become non-existent.

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  16. He should employ a cook!!!
    Next....















    I wonder why anonymous comment on this blog Issa crime. No wonder amaranth was asking how to become a member of bv😂😂😂. May Una liv us. We like to be anonymous orubebe like that abeg. I don't have Id and I won't get one @lipstick. I'm in my house comman beat me

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  17. This is so me
    She will make a good wife but your brother shd b ready to shoulder some things

    ReplyDelete
  18. It's only the religion aspect I have a problem with. I think the others can be worked on.

    Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
    2 Corinthians 6:14

    🚶🚶 back to sleep

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is she unrighteous? Righteous, according to Oxford dictionary means 1. Free from sin or guilt.
      2. Moral and virtuous, suggesting sanctimonious.
      3. Justified morally.
      I ask again, is she unrighteous?

      Delete
    2. But Jesus dined with the unbelievers, as our yardstick of righteousness. I don't know why we don't give others permission like God does. Who is righteous in this life?... who?. That lady might just need that marriage to be a ' equally yoked' too.

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    3. Yes she's unrighteous.

      Irreligiousness is a sin and sin is unrighteousness so she is unrighteous.

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    4. Her not going to church is already annoying him broomstick. So it will be 10 times more irritating to him in marriage, especially after the honeymoon period and regarding the kids.

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    5. Yes Jesus dined with unbelievers just like we are all doing today but marriage is a different thing entirely.

      The closest alliance one person can have with another is found in marriage. God’s plan is for a man and a woman to become one(Gen 2:24) Uniting a believer with an unbeliever is uniting opposites, which will make the marriage a very difficult one.


      Delete
    6. Swag Lafresh, so if I'm very religious but have no love in me I am righteous? Compare it with someone that has never been to church but is morally upright and filled with love for all the person is a sinner. Know it now that no-one is righteous and even with your church-going without love heaven is far from you.

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    7. Swag, you've brought in a different point. "Religiousness" is what most Christians in Nigeria practice. Most haven't truly given their life to Christ. Nobody is talking about the man's stance just cos he goes to church regularly, which is him being religious. I have an uncle whose life clearly shows he's born again but he has one problem- he doesn't believe in "the gathering of brethren". Would you say he's unreligious? We're hearing a second-person account and can't be sure what's going on as regards her spiritual life. What I think is that the man should leave that woman alone and stop looking at her as if she's a project to be changed. She's not pretending and living her life as she wants it. If he's not comfortable with what he sees, he should move along so someone worthy of her can step in. This one we're talking sef, do we know if he's her "husband material"? I dunni where my own standalone comment disappeared to, so pardon me for responding to your comment and expanding on my thoughts

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  19. If u are ready to manage that other side of her then u can wife her if otherwise look for a domesticated lady.

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  20. I don't believe in church to I believe in conscience
    My conscience is my church

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    Replies
    1. You didn't read 'do not forsake the assembly of the brethren'abi? Your conscience should also be your school,make Una dey deceive Una sef.I'm out

      Delete
  21. She's a keeper. One problem we(Nigerians) have is religion. The people who cheat, lie, steal, beat their wives or fight their husbands are all christians and go to church. I know we are talking about a lady. But my experience is with a man who thinks like her. Now my uncle believes in God but not in going to church everytime. He is like your wive. Kind, generous and selfless and respectful and very rich too. His marriage is still standing today because he treats his wife well. My father goes to church, vigil etc but... My dear you begin to look for a perfect women, ticking the box you go marry problem. If she respects you to go to your church or is willing to allow the kids to go to church if she doesn't let her be. Get a washing machine oga, this is 2017. For the cooking not every woman enjoys cooking like me but guess what we cook cos we and our household have to eat. If she didn't know how to cook then...My dear this girl is a keeper.

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    1. Anon 15:24,its not all the people you see going to church and claimed to be Christians that are actually born again.
      Christianity is a religion and being born again is knowing and accepting Jesus as our Lord and personal Saviour and emulating his life style.
      Living exactly like Jesus by doing the will of his father.
      All those people you mentioned up there are Christian by religion but not born again. They've not accepted Jesus as their Lord and saviour. They're just Sunday ,Sunday church goers

      Luke 4:6 says,why do you call me Lord but cannot do what l say?
      You see,Jesus forbids all what you've written above and he was speaking directly to people indulging in it.

      Mark 7:6 says thy honor God with their lips but their hearts is far away from him.

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    2. God bless your soul Anonymous Fir this comment. All these yoked together thing, born again etc, has he prayed for her?, presented her to holy spirit to take control?. Born again are charged to fish souls not reject them cause they are unequally yoked.
      The ones that are not 'born again' need a chance to be born again not judge and reject them. This God we're clamouring For is LOVE... he love both the born again and un born again. And he charged the born again to fish for the unequally yoked. That's the work if disciples, that should be your work too.
      Christians discriminate a lot shaaa and those ones they term not born again usually make heaven than them cause they are usually more human sef.

      I still maintain that if the poster brother want a keeper, let him get on his knees and tell God to arrest his woman period!. That girl is rare, he better not leave her on the altar of laziness (pray and work for what you want!!)

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    3. Intelligentsia you have really tried. But people will always want to go their own way and later complain and even blame God when they reap the consequences.

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    4. OMA are you a Christian? Just asking cos it seems your views are not in line with Gods word at all. Being friends with a non believer is totally different from going into marriage covenant. A difference in faith/religious views will most likely wreck the marriage. Just because its convinent and looks OK doesn't mean God approves it.I would advise you to get to know God more and ask the holy spirit to teach you.

      Delete
  22. Your brother wants a cook and someone to attend church with on Sundays.

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    Replies
    1. You are over simplifying the matter. Those are just part of his concerns which are not far fetched when considering a marital union. There are men who will be perfectly happy with such a woman. Poster's brother's doubts show he likely is not such a man.

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  23. Hmmm
    Your brother should flock with his like minded ,so there will be no stories in the future. What you cannot take now ,you will not take it in the future when the family becomes large
    All this love stories will fade after some time. Let him pray about it


    Tiwa

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    Replies
    1. Sexy daddy says as long as she is bringing money. In essence you will cook, wash, take care of the babies when they start coming ad long as she is bringing money. You are mumu husband. A greedy, selfish one at that. You are what they call oga madam

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  24. All you listed up there are RED FLAGS.

    If he tries it, he will get his fingers burnt.

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  25. Encourage her to cook and if she cooks help her clean up. with that she sees it like team work. This type of lady will eventually cook cos with her type of heart she won't let her kids go hungry and you sef sir will learn to eat food in the freezer not expecting fresh food everyday. Cos that's the problem marriages have. She tells you who she is, you marry her tomorrow you say you can't eat a soup twice.Get a washing machine. All your problems have a solution but a bad attitude has no solution. Oga don't let this girl not slip off you

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  26. Your brother that is carrying church on his head, isn't committing fornication with that woman?
    Isn't he a hypocrite?
    Isn't the woman better even though they are both deceiving themselves?
    That woman would probably have become a christian if your brother was one.
    Just hightlight the next sentence and google and read the entire chapter:

    "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body".

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    Replies
    1. Thank you!!!!!. I'm trolling this post cause I have seen a strong Christian guy, who know his Bible like the palm of his hand marry 'unbeliever'. He didn't look at her cold persona with God. He got on his knees and conversed with zgod about the girl. The girl got converted cause her husband is the perfect example she needed to Follow GGod.

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    2. @Oma
      I wrote that one up there but I think your notion is wrong. A believer has no business with an unbeliever when it comes to marriage. The problem is the yardstick for measuring a "believer". For instance, someone who attends same church is considered a " believer" even if he/she is living in sin. This is wrong. In the case at hand, both are probably living in fornication and the man is claiming to be a believer because he goes to church; wrong! The woman here is not claiming to be a believer and that makes her better than the hypocrite she is staying with.

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  27. Does he want a believer? A church girl, a domesticated lady, a home girl, a kitchen wife etc.
    Then, he should leave her and look somewhere else.
    What he seeks are not wrong, just DAT it's not in dis lady.
    He will have troubles wen he marries her, cos he would want to change her and she will be unwilling to change.
    She is a career person and loves her life so.
    I repeat, he should look for someone else, his kind of woman.

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  28. Despite all these "shortcomings" she still makes him laugh and your brother claims to love her. For a second, I thought I was reading about myself until I got to the cooking part. I love cooking but every other attribute up there is me. Like sexy daddy said marriage is not all about cooking, fucking, doing Sunday Sunday melecine. The girl has been with him through thick and thin. Your brother may break up with her because she doesn't like cooking, house chores or going to church and settle for the so called church goer cook and Jackie who would end up making his life hell. It's hard to find someone who makes you laugh these days. Your brother should set his priorities right.

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  29. Let him leave her cos she needs to meet my ex..they would be a PURFECT fit! 😂😂 i would do the introduction.

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  30. Let me say something, Before I got married I never likes to cook. My mum was very worried, she kept saying no man will marry a girl that does not near the kitchen.
    When I met hubby I told him thesame, he said he is not looking for a maid to marry. I have married for 15 years and counting pro in cooking and organizing.

    So let him go ahead if they truly love each other. Love wins at the end!

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  31. I like that your brother is not the superficial type, at least he saw some real qualities in her as well despite his complaints and he has a clear idea what he wants.
    Truth is, it is practical to suggest that one can employ stewards to mind the chores, do the cooking and about her religious inclination, what does it matter? At least she is a good person with some level of right moral codes, so marry her...Practical i said but not realistic!

    Yes, we might be an era where them faux feminist and women with loads of insecurity and zero tolerance for people's seemingly varying specifications would not let us hear word.
    Truth is, your brother should not feel ashamed for what he needs... that driven, beautiful, morally upright woman with a solid spiritual background and can compromise on domestication and the traditional gender roles. I believe all man should be true to him/herself and it doesn't make him prinitive or backward....there is someone for everybody whether as a solid individual or as an ongoing project.

    The choice for marital partners is a complex and dicey one. Many who worked with certainty battle doubts let alone one with such heavy cloud regarding two very core aspects...Religion and a very broader issue of gender roles.
    I might sound pretty biased being a christian but i hope you filter and take the reasonable points. A solid spiritual background is essential in a wife for a man who takes spirituality serious...let's not kid about it. The right kind of walk with God can help in mentally offloading overwhelming issues of life as well as finding self and balance. Moral uprightness, goodness and all without God may meet a brickwall when the real storms hit many, i do not want to wax bibilical an quote the Cornelius story.
    Your brother wants a wife who can build and nurture a religious home, a near atheist cannot afford him that chance, coz frankly him alone can never raise that kind of home, women are that powerful. If it were the reverse there is a big chance of it turning true.

    She is career driven, brings work home and all...but underneath it all, i sense an apprehension that this woman may become those excessively ambitious,independent women who may not know how to be a wife. The reluctance to embrace domestication may be seriouslyy stirring more doubts especially for a man who NEEDS such.
    Questions like, what if she loses her job tomorrow, no caeeer to obsess about coupled with zero domestication and afinity to religion, he would not be a happy man at all.

    So yeah, like we tell women on this blog...let him go and seek God in prayers. I'm sure your bro is the type that will go for crusades and see young ladies pouring their hearts out to God for the right partner and he will shine eyes feeling good that women are praying so hard for men, like him. See, these are the confusions those ladies were praying against. See how devil wrapped shit in honey for him...made it look all good and made the major BUTS look tolerable if human wisdom is applied. He better take a little break from that relationship and sort out his requirement with God. He should engage her in talks concerning raising godly kids and playing wife in the sense he hopes and, listen carefully to what she thinks not just put in her mouth or steer conversation to what he wants to hear...lest, she impresses him for now and finish him off in a marriage he battles for balance and peace.
    Let him pray hard and i'm sure he will get his answer/obvious conviction.
    Goodluck!

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    Replies
    1. Standing ovation... Marriage is enjoyable but very difficult to manage, and things should not only be done concerning the present, in marriage the future should always be considered

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    2. long talk everytime, learn to summariz

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    3. This is human thinking too. Do you know if God wants to draw her to himself through this guy?.. God is mysterious like that.

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    4. Oma let God draw her first before they marry,inugo?

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    5. Please is there anybody who grows up knowing how to be a wife? My godmother once said something that got me thinking. She said even after 35 years of marriage, she's still learning to be a wife. This your comment is your thought not God's standard

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  32. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  33. Apart from the religious part, I think she will make a good wife and learn later if your brother talk it out with her.

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    Replies
    1. It's not something one can talk her out of .there are some people that aren't cut of for certain things.its better he leaves her alone

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  34. I don't think your brother has a problem if he takes her for who she is. Being a woman doesn't really imply that every woman likes being in the kitchen nor doing domestic chores. She is almost like me but I'm married. I hate domestic chores but I do it because I have to,not that I want to and because I'm less than a year old in marriage, no kids yet, hubby and I don't want 3rd party (helpers) in our home yet. Luckily, we split domestic chores. I don't like going to market and all sorts.. but I'm a great cook. I try to cook because I have to not that I want to and hubby cooks sometimes. I like to make money strategically not that I'm a workaholic. . I'm actually lazy but people don't know because I'm a career woman and business woman as well. I always think of smarter ways of getting results. So, hubby and I drag kitchen sometimes. lol. My hubby is also a church church person and loves God to the letters.. He literally wakes up every other night for vigil and so on. I'm a toddler Christian compared to his. I hardly cook during our courtship the few times he visited me. He didn't even know I was a great cook. I always had diet veggies and fruits around me. No meal. Lol.. Anyways, I'm feedkin him today and he is really glad. There are times I do some "man'a stuff" at home like sourcing for electrician to fix the meter, dealing with the furniture man who messed up our table. I had to buy spray paint and painted the furniture myself. I bought hammer and nails and repaired the doors in the house. I made wall frames, designed with my bare hands and used for the house. I didn't say it's a man's thing. I just do it.. My hubby goes to market... He doesn't mind... It doesn't make him less of a man. We just do stuffs together. We both have our shortcoming but we have been forging on like that.. What matters most is the heart. With time, that lady would encounter God. I'm sure she calls "God/ Jesus" unconsciously sometimes. Take note of whenever she does that and ask her why she did it

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    1. Lol... poster read this and digest it. she is not wicked, she is kind, generous etc. She thinks there is no God simply cause the world is imperfect and God is perfect. My heart is telling me to take her to God in prayers and watch God move his hands. You've got a good girl with you, don't lose her

      Delete
    2. Smiling b your case is different. How sure are you that said lady is like you? Your husband accepted you as you are. The man in this chronicle has not fully accepted the lady, hence the chronicle.

      Delete
  35. I am a man and you just described my perfect lady....Truth is religion is over rated....Religious people are the worst set of people to work with...the lady you described is not an atheist, she is a realist and her high level of intelligence makes her question things as they are...In Isreal, when the kids are taught the Torah, they are encouraged to question the happenings and content...these individuals become responsible adults with a deep understanding of what they have believed...In Africa, it is the opposite...we are encouraged not to ask questions...take things as they are....the objective is to exploit the average man who would rather leave everything to God than Use what has been given to him by God...the brain.... Be honest..the million dollar question is this....Does her character and attitude supersede that of an average christian or muslim girl you have been with? ...Whats your fear...if you are a sure footed christian or muslim...it is an opportunity for you to proof the superiority of your believe to her...through your words and actions....except you are like the other hypocrites too.....

    On cooking...the girl you described probably works in a professional services firm...her job is demanding......Because I am a foodie, I wont compromise on that....especially since she is a good cook ....perhaps, if you get married it will be different.....but you need to ascertain that...


    On laundry....like seriously????????????????? I am ashamed on your behalf......In this age??? I stay on the mainland...it cost me 12,000 per month to have a laundry woman wash our clothes (family of 5) she comes in twice a week..asides my office work that go to the dry cleaner ....Laundry is a waste of her precious time...time that can be invested in other more productive activities like sex, bonding, reading or sleeping....My wife was shocked when i told her to get a laundry woman...african women please you deserve more...dont be ashamed to ask for it...na una be our mama...

    You re lucky I m married...if not.....i ll make you single again.....as someone already said...if you feel she s not your kind, move on....

    A.T.

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    Replies
    1. 😍😍😍😍😍

      Delete
    2. Lol... I'm waiting patiently for a man that will flow with me too. You just made this whole thing very simple. Life is simple.. We only complicate it.

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    3. Your argument is neither here nor there. The man's questions are valid as pertains to him, just as your way of life pertains to you.

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    4. @Oma maranma:
      I think your mission in this blog is simple; to get a husband!
      Be very careful, your kind fall into the ditch!

      Delete
    5. @20:46... lmao.. 22 yrs want a husband from blog?!!.. lol.. I'm even going for a second degree, have a dream to catch... still have my life ahead.. I'm just scratching the surface my dear. Besides I'm too valued to be desperate. When I'm ready for marriage mentally,,, emotionally psychologically etc... I'm going for a high value man. I'm more careful than you think

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  36. #We're only human, and sometimes, we don't make the right choices*

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  37. Sounds like me lol.
    i believe in Humanity ,I'm selfless ,a smart worker..I earn a very good salary I also have 3 business that gives me a massive return at the end of the month..I've got 6 properties in three different countries I'm Basically a workaholic .i am also very generous to the people around me and I can protect my partner with my life...I can do anything for them.sadily ,I am not domesticated lol but I do clean after myself.
    I think the poster's brother should leave the woman alone so she can find someone that'd understand and accept her the way she is

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  38. Poster...it's good that she didn't hide her real self from your brother, so there may be a way around it. Let your brother convince her to go to church with him and see if she will start enjoying going with him . see when someone is really in love there's nothing they won't want to do to please that person. I'm not talking about forcing her, let him persuade her to follow him to a church service and you don't know God might touch her heart with time.
    Then about the cooking and house chores, your brother should be ready to hire her househelp to fill in the gap, if he really love to marry her. Thank God she's got a job, he can insist she would be the one to pay the househelp.....
    So let him know if he loves her that much and want to marry, he would have to take charge of their spiritual life and be ready to be the one to take the kids to church when they start coming but hopefully by then their mum would have met christ.
    Love covereth multitude of sin.....

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    Replies
    1. I tried getting my ex go to church with me, and he was a christian but not from my denomination. Guess how that turned out?

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  39. Empress CHO, you are sound, I like you already.I would like to know you more.I wish imputes like yours could be more regular on this blog. Keep it up

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  40. Poster tell that brother of yours to think and see if he can cope with her, the signs is everywhere why forcing what is not there? A lady that is lady about cooking, she cannot keep the house clean, he hate house chores and yet you want to die cos of her pussy? You know she does not believe in God but you that believed in God want to be with such a woman that you will have to beg, force to go to church, Oga where is your brain? If a woman is lazy no kind of love will change her forget beautiful, hard working at work, if she cannot keep her home bros all na heavy wash. Are you poor, too fat, ugly, lazy, woman wrapper that you want to kill cos of this pussy? Look else where please.

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  41. She might be a feminist.
    Since you both are convinced your love can carry a lot of weight, do you think you can enter kitchen & cook your own meal even when you are both husband & wife?
    Can you also do your laundry without her(well this isn't a problem cos u can get a washing machine,& hire a cleaner to clean you house once a week)?
    If you truly don't get irritated about her not cooking or doing house chores then you both can over look the church thing & marry.
    maybe in future her view abt Christianity might change,(you can teach you future kids abt Christ & make them go to church while you pray for her conviction by the power of the Holy Spirit).

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  42. Omg!Did The Boy bring me to the blog?

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    Replies
    1. You mean sey you be the woman?

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  43. If I were a man I will go for your brother's girl cos I don't see her as an atheist rather she's someone that has somewhat become disillusioned with the type of Christianity being practiced today. The mere fact that she makes him laugh is something very rare in most homes even so called Christian homes. This lady if shown true Christianity as modelled as our Lord Jesus will quickly embrace it. I was once like this but after meeting real Christians my faith was restored. On the issue of being domesticated my dear there ain't no lady that is 100%. At the end of the day it boils down to him really seeking the face of God before making a decision

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  44. Stella, na my mouth full comments for here. No vex. Still wondering how my comment pulled a disappearing act. Final comment on the matter as e dey vex me reach(hopefully).
    Your brother wants her to do wifely duties while not wifed. He try wella. I wouldn't wish you, miss poster, on anybody as sister-in-law cos you painted your brother as a perfect man but the lady is the devil reincarnated. Well done. Please tell your brother to vamoose from her life so a better and greater man who's ready to stand by her through thick and thin, in prayers and through any storm will locate that lady. In my original comment, I suggested your brother should pray and seek God's guidance.
    To those still dragging yoke upandan, kwantinu. Shebi God asked a prophet to marry a runs girl in the bible? Also, read why Paul wrote that letter to the Corinthians to start with.
    Finally, African women, please teach your kids - both male and female - how to cook, clean and generally cater for themselves. Miyonse is a chef, so won't he cook for his wife? Buddy, the Italian cum American baker, doesn't he cook for his wife? Even Ali Baba that is uncle "inspire". Nobody was born with napkin and pot in one hand, iron and broom in the other.
    I shall now take my bow. Adios, post

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  45. @Anon 18.29, you ar right. My man accepted me for me. If this man in can't deal with her shortcomings, then he should forge on.. She seems to be a feminist and atheist. No one is perfect tho... D guy should know what he can handle. You can't marry her hoping she will change. If you can't deal with it now, then no need.

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    Replies
    1. She's not Feminist,she's not cut out for cooking and cleaning there some people like that ...so long as she can clean after herself or get a help .and finally she's Agnostic she's not Atheist it's too different things abeg

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  46. This man needs to marry his 'kind.'

    Hopefully a better more deserving man will come for.

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  47. She lives by what is called "Golden Rule"; I do not have a single problem with that considering the fact that she knows there is God. In fact that is one of the biggest commandment of God... do unto others as you want them to do unto you... didn't the bible say the biggest commandment of all is "Love"?
    When it comes to house chores, my brother don't be deceived.. From my personal experience, my wife can cook fire itself and it will be tasty and she enjoys cooking a lot (before we got married); now, i cannot remember the last time she cooked for me, Chicken republic rice and beans with fried chicken is my best partner right now and if i am very hungry at night, i go into the kitchen and make noddles... maybe some time i dabble into yam an egg.. House chores: Personally i hate it, but when ma'am doesn't have time, i'm left with no other option, i clean the kitchen myself... even though i don't do the sweeping..whenever she comes home and feels like doing that she does it... but i'm telling you, before now, she's all round... clean the house, cook even though when i was a bachelor I use to have house help that comes around during the week and leaves on weekend that she is very much aware of but i have told ma'am to get an house help, she just dey dodge am.... moral of the whole story, Marriage goes beyond love and just being Godly, it is not easy but if there is anything about her that brings you joy, focus on that and take every other thing as a phase that will pass-by. Right now, I focus on my wife's success and do everything i can to encourage her business. It takes a lot of endurance and sacrifices and you just have to focus on what brings you happiness... did i tell you i almost fought my wife because of the way she once kept her tooth brush in the bathroom, it was not hygienic.. I was dashing out of the bathroom this morning with so much fury then i asked myself a question, "what if this escalates, what do i have to say about what started this argument?" immediately i went back into the bathroom and re-positioned the toothbrush the way i feel it should be.

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  48. A lot have been said about this chronicle. But truth be told, marriage is beyond sex, cooking and cleaning, and even going to church. I tell ladies, u don't necessarily have to perform the responsibilities of a wife when u re not yet his wife.
    To me, the one of the greatest things in r/ship is focusing on what gives u joy about ur partner.
    Your brother wants to settle down with her, he should accept her just the way she is. But if he can't cope , he should let her go.

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  49. My man Listen to this man to man advice. First off, women dont show you their through self until you marry them..she will only get more lazy when you make her your wife. just believe me, i'm a married man and i know what i'm saying. I wont tell you to break up with this woman but i will try to make some points that will help you make your personal decision. I'm not bothered about her christian ways. you said she's lazy,she doesn't like doing house chores. Sir, who will do the house chores when you guys get married,cooking, cleaning, washing, etc. house chores also involves taking care of children oo. who will bath the baby? who will change his diaper? who will cook and feed the baby? taking care of a baby is beyond what a man can do, it is just almost impossible, we dont have the patience or tenderness that it requires. forget all the money she makes, she won't share it with you. if you think you will get an house help to do all the chores, you will be deceiving yourself. you wont have an house help all the time.. i have had 3 house helps this year alone. one was too lazy, the last one was stealing my money everyday, we had to let him go before he does something worse. house help will help you to raise your babies too ? your mom will hate your wife, thats for sure. Mother-in-laws dislike lazy wife's. she loves her job better than house chores and you are still staying in the relationship. when push comes to shove, that her funny and kind attitude wont clean the house,feed you or take care of your children. my brothers wife is lazy, they have two kids and two house helps. my mom dislikes her and cant stand going to their house because it is always dirty, their kids (ages 3 and 1) are always battling, missles, boil, etc. oga be wise. FIND A GOOD WOMAN THAT CAN TAKE CARE OF YOU.

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