Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Sunday In House Gists - Public Transport ISH

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Sunday, 6 August 2017

Sunday In House Gists - Public Transport ISH

Let us assume that everyone reading this must have a public transport story.............






A lot of ISH goes on inside public transport....

I used to take Molue a lot those days and the thing my eyes see eeeeeh...
Most people sleep inside public transport and that is when some evil doers get to work...

I have seen hands in other people bags,seen hands fondling,looked closely at the person being fondled and realised they were pretending to be asleep and decided to mind my business..lol

I have slept off before and woken up without my bag and bus empty and at its last stop...

Is it the preaching or people selling one drug that solves all ailment?
I also realised that the place you enjoy current affairs argument is inside Bus.......Kai!

What is your public transport experience/story......gist us Jor!
I hope this turns out an interesting read.


117 comments:

Chidinma Grace said...

Hahahaha. I can imagine what you felt after you woke up and realised not only that you are the only one left in the bus but without your bag. Such embarrassment.

Fuck you said...

As annoying as public transport is...it can be fun most times...my public transport stories in Lagos cannot be compared to the ones in Benin when I was schooling there...Benin bus drivers and their conductors too funny and insultive

Ramson Jay said...

This will surely make a good reading. I don't have experience, so, let me seat back and read wella.

Fidel Castro said...

It was January 1997, i and my mom got to yaba,close to ajiggy plaza wanted to board a coaster bus to oyingbo then to mile2 then fgc, standing on the que about entering so i noticed someone removing money from my back pocket,i looked back saw a young man then boom i screamed. ,he was caught and beaten ,can't remember is he was burnt or so.
I had an experience this year ,entering danfo after a long time , seated at the front , na so this driver start to talk ,talk and,keeping talking ,chai weed mixed with alcohol just dey ooze out of him mouth, i just provoke tell am say 'guy shutup'.

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

My experience happened years ago.
Was off to Lagos island.
I didn't want to drive so that I can jump off and get on another should there be traffic just to save my time. So I took a danfo.
Omg! I don't even understand the kinda smell Abi body odour coming out from the guy beside me.
I couldn't breathe. I tried to keep on the journey but mehnn when I got to a point, I just screamed owa owa. Driver ejor...and got off. That was the day I knew breathe of fresh air is so much a testimony and everything to be grateful for.

Anonymous said...

Risky, the hemp/alcohol mix can kill you.

Chike TEFLON said...

Public transport ish is when you entered a bus and the passenger siting next to you did not wash his/her cloth and the odour will be forcing you to throw up and he/she said stop I want to alight. As he/she alight and a pretty lady want to enter, in your mind you will be thanking God for sending you a fresh air in human form and the lady entered and you smell that stinking smell of garlic and she faced you and said please adjust and the mouth odour from her mouth forced you to stop before your bus stop... Mehn!!! I can't come and die because of public transport when my Leggedise Benz is in good condition...

Jeni_zee said...

Na only for uk I fit sleep for coach, that's if I don't buy train ticket nd decided to use a bus from London to Manchester but when I was in Nigeria, I don't sleep inside a bus. I remember one time I wore contact lens and the next guy sitting close to me was so scared just looking at me inside a danfo, in fact he looked outside d window throughout immediately he saw my eyes cos na blue colour I use lol. I was always cautious when inside a bus nd everyone that is inside d bus is a suspect, after hearing stories of pickpocket nd one chance, I was always careful

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

Haha. Remember when my mum sent me to get tomatoes for stew on a Saturday evening. I was about 13 or so. So she gave me N20 for transport to the nearest market. 10 naira coming and 10 naira going. Then N1500 for tomatoes and pepper. So I now entered danfo bus the conductor didn't have change and expected me to leave the N10 for him. Me too I was following instructions and didn't want to short change my mum off the tomatoes. So we kept going back and forth on the short journey until I got to the market. He now said I should take the N20 joor that I'm stingy. I now told him (speaking plenty English) that I hate being called names I will look for change and drop N10 with one dry fish seller right beside where he dropped me (I pointed at the woman) that he should ask her when he comes back this way that what is his name so I can tell her. Everyone in the bus and even the fish seller burst into laughter. And the driver zoomed off with the conductor hanging from the door shouting 'stingykoko... omo kekere' etc I was wondering what I said that was making them laugh i now vexed and said infact I won't even drop it again. He should vex if he likes.

Imagine....

Sweet Mother said...

I needed to do something important at the island and it was a brief appointment. I was too tired to drive. Couldn't just explain the fatigue. Decided to use uber and save myself the stress of driving. On my way back from the island, for the first time in history I dozed off in a vehicle.
My husband has told me lately that I've started snoring.I refused to believe him. I never snored in my life. I am a very light sleeper that just by standing beside me I'd notice your presence even while I'm asleep and I'll wake up immediately.
So I dozed off briefly in the cab. The conditions were perfect. A.C. and music playing from the stereo. Suddenly I woke up and discovered that even with the music playing the uber driver had his earpiece Γ²n. And he didn't receive any calls because I'd have heard him. I was wondering why the dude had his earpiece.
Then it dawned on me that it's possible I was snoring and he had to save his ear drums. Aiye mi oh!
To confirm my theory when he turned and saw I was awake, he took them off!
I've never been so embarrassed! Where did this "snoring" come from? Can't believe it's happening to me! Is it old age? Hian! I refuses to rate the guy after the trip. I'm still sore .

Savvy Hilton said...

As a matter of fact I do... some years back, my secondary school organized lessons for people who were to write junior waec. The lesson was during the holls,even though we still wore uniform. So I used to take taxi to school every morning for the lesson. One day, the taxi I entered,I sat close to the door,the two passengers next to me were men. On our way,I just felt a hand touching the side of my breast . I first thought it was because I was seated to close to him,so I shifted forward,still he put his hand again to touch my breast. I was very uncomfortable .I looked at the man, he acted like nothing was happening. He just kept a straight face with him glasses on. I started praying to get to my destination fast. Before he could do it again, I'd reached my destination. After about two weeks, school reopened. So when I walked into the park to get a taxi,lo and behold,he was one of the passengers,and the taxi had just one space left,considering I was running late,I would have entered,but I refused. The people standing there didn't understand. So,the taxi loaded and left. I entered another one. Half way through the journey, we saw that first taxi,it had a terrible accident, they said two passengers died on the spot, the driver was unconscious. I never saw that man again. After few months, I saw the driver of the taxi, still with visible bruises.

Sweet Mother said...

*refused*

Anonymous said...

STELLA oloorun of blogosphere

Fab Mum said...

The stench in public transport is worrying. It's too much biko. I wonder how those that use it often cope. To think they will now be rubbing your body with theirs like you want their odour. Lagos island is the only place I go with bus but since the inception of Uber, I bid them au revoir.

Esther Mgbolu said...

That's what i call"smell of passion",that kind of smell can send some one six feet under

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Cynthia Iyede said...

That public transport selling of drugs can be so annoying eeh!

I love to see people argue about politics a lot, it makes me laugh.

Another one is on queue at the bus terminal, you'll see people quarrelling about how they've been on line when someone else tries to cheat by sneaking in, you go hear big grammars now.

Cynthia Iyede said...

I guess they laughed cos they never expected a young girl to be smart like that. Drop change at the bus stop? In Lagos? Lol

The Lifted said...

I don't know why men will enter public taxi/bus & spread their legs everywhere as if they are in their sitting room/beer parlour. Does that thing in between their legs not allow them close the lap a lil bit? Its so annoying when I'm in a taxi & the guy next to me won't just adjust ,rather he will spread those sticks & take up all the space simply bcos I'm on the slim side. This happens always & I started thinking they probably can't close their lap. Pls guys learn to respect urself when in a public vehicle.

Viva Ciara said...

Lol
My first time in Lagos I didn't know the bus had reached my bus stop as the conductor kept pronouncing what I could not understand. Was busy looking at environs to check if I can recognize, dunno how I missed it until they took me to three bus stops ahead.

miss kenefo said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I'm sure they'll be like whose child is this? Sharp girl.

My most memorable experience was about three years ago when my money got stolen. I was in a bus from obalende to the mainland. I discovered early and raised an alarm. It was the innocent looking lady beside me that stole it. How she did it without anyone noticing is still a mystery.

The driver stopped the bus, took her shoes and asked her to come down on third mainland bridge or wait till they got to the bus stop and let him get his people to teach her a lesson. I felt bad for her but people said that she even got off lucky. It was either that or jungle justice.

Cynthia Iyede said...

😁😁 some passengers will just rub their sweaty hands on you while trying to sit, eww.

Pia said...

Lol @body odour and garlic. I can't stand garlic, it comes out of the breath too not only from the mouth.

My public transport experience was years back in coal city . Those agberos (Ndu nmachi motor) that sits in bus pretending to be a passenger and be dropping out one after the other, when you're in a hurry to get to your destination.

Andromeda O said...

My public transport stories are numerous abeg.
One time I laughed all the way from Mile 2 to CMS. I've never laughed so much in my entire life. My sister's friend cautioned me to stop but I couldn't.
The crazy driver for 1, didn't have a conductor.
2, his windows didn't have glass covering it. I think he used tarp and it still wasn't covered properly so rain drenched people sitting close to the window at the back.
3, the driver can insult and he cussed out everyone who spoke to him about his attitude: cussing out passengers who didn't come with the exact amount of tfare at Mile 2 and refusing them entry, the no-conductor ish, and the rain getting in. One poor lady who said she was going for an interview was soaked.
4, a tortoise is faster than the bus. What's that bus called, the one with a bigger head on it? Man, this guy was just creeping slowly and anyone who'd talk, he'd give it to them.
Till one Igbo lady challenged him. God bless that woman wherever she is.
She said, "Oga, move this your chi-Mi-ney." Chimo, everyone began to laugh. The way she said it and taunted the man, if you were there, you'd laugh too.
She insulted the hell outta the man. From his slow-moving dead bus, to the man himself; calling him short engine, to so many names I can't even remember.
People said yes, you've seen the one wey pass you.
The driver didn't talk till we got to CMS.

SANDY YO said...

Lmaooooo @you woke up at d last bus stop without your bag. Can imagine how you must have felt that day. Lagos nawaaa! Just twice I have visited there on a very short visit and pray nothing ever takes me there.
Lagosians dey really try, I hail!

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

Football nko? πŸ˜‚

SANDY YO said...

Lmaooooo @owa owa! Can really imagine cos I cant stand odour.

Cynthia Iyede said...

My black berry phone was picked from my hand bag when I was still job hunting after youth service (kai, this hurt the most), I got home and started raining curses on the thief, it wasn't funny at all.

SANDY YO said...

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Same 'comprain' kai!

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

πŸ˜‚ @pronunciation
One of my relatives came to Lagos for the first time. So he said he heard of obalende and wanted to go. we told him to get bus at the bus stop that he would see them shouting obalende. Okay. Na so my guy waka. Called almost 5 times to confirm that it was obalende and nothing else. At a point me sef off phone. When he got back he said he heard them saying: balende ba-Len-de ba-len-de or leN-de Len-de len-de. And he was sure that wasn't his bus so he kept calling to confirm and waiting. He was now wondering why this obalende bus is so scarce. Until he walked up to someone and showed them the name of the place and that one laughed and told him all the buses there are going that way.

SANDY YO said...

LmaoπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
No be today your over wiseness start be that o!

Kamikaze said...

The cliche of a slim, uncomfortable person in between two fat people in a public transport used to be so me.I desperately hate public transport.Because I'm petite,I always find myself tucked in between the folds of flesh of fat,restless passengers.I dare not move else the top of my shoulders would constantly rub in their armpits.They never sit still.Because of my position,i would get the full blow of armpit,body and mouth odour.Or is it the blows when they want to bring out something from their pockets or bags? Some would even have the guts to tell me to shift.Imagine!A few minutes ride used to seem like a day's trip to me.So I end up having to sit forward with my shoulders raised and arms tucked in.Very headache inducing and my whole day would be shot.
I just thank God.

SANDY YO said...

Looooool @your 2nd paragraph! Chai

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

Another one. My elder sister entered a bus one day and there was a school child with a certain mental illness. And when he saw my sister he pointed at her laughing and saying something like 'obirin idi gbongbola' that the conductor kept telling him to shut up. But the boys voice and laughter got louder. His sister was also with the same illness and they were together. She now joined him and they kept repeating it like they were reciting poem until they dropped off the bus and waved her goodbye. By this time everyone was drowned in laughter and waved back at them. She said she was embarrassed.

Iphie dearie said...

Hehehheehehe@ Is it ageπŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ

Iphie dearie said...

Omo kekere
Little child right?
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Iphie dearie said...

Owa
Owa
Owa!!!
🀣🀣🀣🀣

Madam Small Chops said...

Mine was many years ago,not in Lag though.I boarded a bus which had space at the last seat.A man and a lady were already seat so I expected them to shift but instead they made me sit in between them.

My mind was focused on where I was going to but after a while I started feeling something cold on my thigh(I was on a knee length skirt that went up when I sat down).I felt maybe the guy was sweating so I adjusted away from him.After a while I felt something cold on my tigh again and I turned to say oga shift now only to realize he was sitting in a funny way(kind of side ways) and was rubbing his d**k on my tigh.Geez!! I didn't even know if I should slap him or bite him I just screamed Driver!!! Drop me oo.

I hadn't gotten to my bus stop yet but I was so angry that I didn't just want to breathe same air with him.

I told some people when I got home and we all kept wondering if he was sane cos I don't understand how a sane man will bring out his d**k in a public transport.

Na wah!!!

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣
That must be one helluva driving experience for the uber driver.
A snoring passenger and a woman at that🀣🀣🀣🀣

But why is it that when you tell people they snore they argue that they don't? πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ






BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

🀣🀣🀣🀣

nwabueze barbara hargorziie's blog said...

Mine was bad... It was last year December when I was still serving... Coming back home from ogun to Lagos... I noticed they opened a new shoprite arounf the toll gate.. So I told myself I must come and shop here... Some days later I wrote my list and my parents added money for me to help them buy stuffs because the next day was Christmas... From my area I took a bus to Ikotun then another to Iyana ipaja... In the bus I minded my business to the fullest until one woman told me to help her zip her cloth... I helped her the first time and it opened again.. Then I turned well to help her do it... I did not know she was helping me unzip my bad and take my purse... When I got to Iyana ipaja my bag was opened.. When I opened my bag ������ my purse was gone... U need to see me crying on the road... She took everything not even Tfare to go back home... My ATMs were all gone... Thank God I had airtime.. My mum had to come pick me... ������ ...i don't help again in the bus

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

I can imagine.
Nothing as painful as your phone stolen

Dark Horse said...

Lol

AbaMade said...

Last month I was at owerri and when it was time to come home, i went to Douglas and boarded a bus going to aba. In the bus we had more of guys and before long they started discussing about Biafra and Nnamdi Kanu. I have to warn you,if you are in the east or coming to the east and have nothing good to say about Biafra,I suggest you keep it to yourself.one of the guys was seriously speaking against the movement and went on to ask a question that infuriated one of the guy sitting in front. He said "even if we get this Biafra we don't even have capable people to lead us" before he could finish the sentence the one in front landed him this blow that confused everyone as first. That one replied with his own blow and soon blows started flying, I was just screaming and dodging blows because the guy was sitting next to me.everybody was calling on the driver to pull over so they can fight to their heart content. He packed and we all came down, come and see correct fight, the one that threw the first punch was just hitting the other one while asking him "are you not a human being can't you run for president, how can you open your stinking mouth and say we dont have capable people i'm not sure you are igbo an aboki got you mother pregnant no bi small thing oh.in all the confusion i just crossed the road flagged down another bus and continued my journey home

hahaha said...

So...chikito has large boobs and her sister has a large ass.

We're in trouble today! Who say make stella do this memory lane post! Chikito no go let us hear word! Soon she'll remember 50 other molue and danfo gists!

Adamuuuuuu! Bring 2 coke and 2 mini me chinchin, gist wan happen!

SANDY YO said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ˜†πŸ˜…πŸ˜†
Chike, oya comman ans. Funny!

hahaha said...

Chai! I give you nyansh o! Make I no offend you o! Awon iya! Iya oshironho of blogosphere dey learn work where you dey! I wave penis for you aunty though I'm sure I'm older than you but honour must be given where due! Have a happy Sunday ma. Make I come wash your clothes!??

hahaha said...

Don't be angry. Some of is have large balls and its uncomfortable sitting with laps tightly together. Plus we lose virility if there's too much heat down below so we are forced to spread as much as possible. No vex.

hahaha said...

I tok am! Stella has pushed chikito's pleasure button!

Just Glamour said...

I shared mine as anon some years back,let me make it brief cos everything I typed earlier just vanished,on my way to Shiloh viewing center,I think it should be the last day cos the service was going to start by 5 or5:30am and if I wait for my hubby and children,I will miss the hour of visitation,I boarded a bus to the viewing center,sat at the back,the very last seat,a man by my left,two men by right,suddenly the idiot next to my right tried to touch my thighs,I adjusted,he tried for the second time, I told him to shift,and the third time he bent down stretching his hand to touch my thighs he was already touching,I started shouting"why you dey try to touch my laps since,I shift you shift join,wetin sef,idiot,fool,..... "and everyone in the bus turned and started begging me, cos I was shouting,I will beat you,I will slap you now,useless soul,he quickly alighted at the next bus stop,and I haven't stop wondering how useless some men could be,my hubby said the idiot must have tried it severally and succeeded.



Anonymous said...

Everybody "smell in public transport is troubling bla bla bla".
Even girls wey never baf since menses started?
So who been dey smell?

Anonymous said...

@Chike Teflon
Looking at that your picture, you look smelly already.

Anonymous said...

Madam contact lens, the smell of the homeless and derelict on London public transport is worse than anything you are painting Nigeria here. Or you just want tell guys say na jand you dey?
All na marketing strategies.

Cynthia Iyede said...

Hehehehe. Maybe it's due to stress, I guess you need to rest more.

Anonymous said...

Reminds of stories told by uncle's boys then in night buses when they sit near babes who offer them breast to suck in the dark luxury bus and gbam their πŸ’° is gone. Ara nwanyi ARABA things

Anonymous said...

@Chikito,
Which year be dat we dem been collect 10 naira for bus fare?

Mrs shantelle said...

How dem go gree! Loool my husband told me two years ago that I snore sometimes I argure till today I no dey gree.even after he recorded it and played for me I still no gree say I dey snore.and I will never accept!

Anonymous said...

You sleep and snore for inside taxi?
Na so dem go carry you girls do ritual?

Cynthia Iyede said...

Lol. It happens to me too.

This is what I normally do, I'll just use by leg to push the guy's leg to make him sit well, if he pretends not to know what's up, I'll just tell him to please sit well while I'm pushing his leg. I just can't let someone inconvenience me when we paid they same bus fair.

Cynthia Iyede said...

Lol. @ Balende. Lagos hennn!

You'll hear Oshod (instead of Oshodi), Yab (instead of Yaba). They just like twisting words

Cynthia Iyede said...

Hahahaha

Cynthia Iyede said...

Haba! Why nau? Hehehehe me gan don tire with Lagos matter!

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Hesitation puts obstacles in your path, boldness eliminates them*

Chike TEFLON said...

Happy birthday to my one and only ugegbe oyibo 1 worldwide. My Chikito, My Sweetness, My Angel of beauty and love as you celebrate your birthday today you shall live to celebrate many more successful years ahead. IWULL'N'P. May God bless your new age. Age gracefully Anike.

Cynthia Iyede said...

I remember another one, I entered the red BRT that allows too many people to stand on the isle and this has made some guys to keep tapping unnecessary currents when standing close to a lady.
So there was this lady that was standing between 2 guys and as the journey continued, she was just pushing them to stand properly, for where? The next thing she did was "please excuse me! let me stand in between my fellow ladies, mi ko le je ki e ma gun mi ni iwaju ati eyin (I can't let you both to keep using your P to touch me from front and behind). She said this while pushing them to come stand where I was, see laughter eeh!πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜

Cynthia Iyede said...

Eeyah!

CharisMAtic DIVA said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Kai, I can imagine hahaha

Thank God u Owa-ed out cos if you had fainted from d stench Dem for label you "winch ogbanje

Cynthia Iyede said...

😁

Anonymous said...

Got on a bus in December last year. Some guy with this "Christmas hat" on his head came in and started saying "ehen this bonanza na from the company o. Buy one pack of shaving stick for N120 and get a chet" I wondered what " a chet" was but trust my fellow lagosians and freebees, they started buying. Once they buy, he hands them an fancy nylon. The sales went on until someone on the bus exclaimed "this na ordinary empty nylon na" seeing that his cover had been blown, oga salesman jumped off the bus laughing. Maybe the passengers thought "a Chet" was actually "a shirt" being pronounced wrongly.

Anonymous said...

lol anonymous why abroad de pain you? Go your own na, so everybody is looking for man according to you guys here

Savvy Hilton said...

LMAO @ are you not a human being can't you run for president?πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

xhlrted p said...

2 experiences.

1)Shocking One.
Was going to PH, was early at d airport but due to some weather ish a nice guy promised me a safe arrival. He knew someone to block and he'll take me to PH safely in his good space bus. His guyname is Osam.. at Agof..Motors. Off we headed to Jibowu and at 8:45am he took off but there was a problem. A lady passenger who was beside me right behind this driver had placed a Creamy beautiful mannequin(nwababy) in between the seats, d head was sticking out beside Osam.. at front seat. Ok na. The dirty gists started, how the nwababy smooth die, how boys pay through their nose to see totoh, how boys pay to see pinkie, very embarrassing stories. The paassengers were reeling with laughter, fits of laughte. Few frowned. God! He was driving and massaging the nwababy. At Okitipupa he already had full erection, he packed and pretended he had issues with fanbelt and ran into the bush. Some saw the hardon and were hailing him. Few minutes after he ran out and we continued. Some warned him though and insisted he uses water to wash his hands and face well.

After Effurun he started allover, girls gist and totoh, then around Emouhia he lost it patapata. He jumped down from the bus and grabbed the mannequin and ran into the bush to do the do. Jeesu!
And the roads had been barricaded because the militants were disturbing and all sorts. The queue on the high way was lonnnnnng. Close to 8pm no movement,no Osam... Few minutes later 3 passengers went for him but he was done and coming out, dirty and sweaty. Hmmm Osam...!
I was so pissed eeh, while leaning on the bus along with everybody I saw a relation. I dragged my shuttle out and changed motor kia kia.

Till today I've never neared that Motor company.
#tufiakwa

Xhlrted P

Fab Mum said...

This 16:10 is funny πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hahahahahahahahashahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha@ mi ko le je ki e ma gun mi ni iwaju ati eyin...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha yoruba language can be so sweet and soo funny ehn

VICTORIOUS EHIS said...

U can say dt again....drivers n conductors in Benin are insultive but them no near lag own

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

@ fabmama, they will rub body now. When the bus is as tight AF, what do you expect?

Lmaooo Cynthia.

Lmaooo @ smell of passion. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚Ewwwww..iffa hear?

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚@winch ogbanje.
Boss mi!
My boo booliscious boss, my dear, I had to 'owa and out' sharply to save my lifeπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Iphi'm and Sandy bebe onye nkem, 😁😁

KIDJO said...

I love the fact that you confronted the useless perv.

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

As in ehn...

Nwanna international, odogwu nwoke, kedu?

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ @ Mrs Shantelle

Cynthia Iyede said...

Na wa! That's so strange...

Gifted Hands...... Awelewa customized wigs WhatsApp:08037918018 Instagram:@awelewawigs said...

I can relate @lifted


Something worse happened to me
I had just given birth to and it was Christmas eve. I had to go get somethgs from the market and off I went. On our way back, an old man, well dressed with neat shoes and a facecap joined us. I was in between him and another womam.
I felt something behind me like a finger but I wasn't so sure. I knew it was my playing tricks on me cos Baba Agba won't do that, would he?
Anyway I became uncomfortable after it kept happening and I kept adjusting. Suddenly I stood up and saw Baba's on the seat hand with one finger pointed
I screamed
Held his hands and gave him the insult of his life
Baba opened his mouth and clean British accent flowed out of his cursed lips. He told everyone that cared to listen that I framed him up and he is too old to exchange words with me
Lord!
I felt soooo confused
At a point I almost believed he was innocent but then what was hand doing under my ass?
He was quick to get down the Keke and I learnt a lesson that day
If you are a male passenger, biko, respect yourself and keep your hands to yourself. Don't even put them behind me

Esther Mgbolu said...

WTH!!!Osam needs Jesus

Anonymous said...

The guy is sick....i hate perverts..spits on him...tueh.

Just Glamour said...

@Mrs Shantell,you argued and refused abi? I argued and said my DH was lieing until he recorded me snoring with my phone,and he said facts don't lie baby,listen to your self singing while sleeping,and he played it for me,I said be lieing that's not me,πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Anonymous said...

A true story goes thus. Back then, a man was traveling down to Lagos on a night bus from onitsha to get some goods. Then online transfers were not yet in Vogue, heck these new generation banks, haven't even birthed. So cash were being carried around physically. Oga entered bus, next a pretty lady, with reveling apparel sat beside him. Journey stated, babe struck up a convo. In the wee hour of the night, conversation became sensual, oga's hand started exploring the babe's body, as they were seated at the far end of the bus, oga felt he can do and undo. From touching, chairman progressed to fingering, babe was responding, chairman was smiling. From fingering, he decided to turn it up a notch by sucking Bobbi. Oga started sucking Bobbi, closed his eyes as he was relishing on the moment, while still sucking on Bobbi. Chairman opened his later later, when the conductor was tapping him to wake up, that this is maza maza Lagos State Lolz... He turned left he no see babe again, reach under his seat to collect the 500k he brought to buy goods from lasgidi, oga no see. Na there it dawned on him say yawa Don gas, next he burst out crying and screaming "a nwo mu ara 500 tasand!! " so apparently babe was part of a syndicate then that specializes in applying sleeping drugs on the Bobbi and offering Randy traders on business trip to suck on night buses.

Chike TEFLON said...

Lol
BLOGLORD the real MVBM I clear road for you πŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ
I can relate πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Chike TEFLON said...

BLOGLORD the real MVBM, ijele Nwanyi, Nwa ka Nwa, Ada eji eje mba
Ekene ooo πŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ
Adim good.

MrsB said...

He slept with a mannequin??? What! How?? Why? That is a very sick man. Yuck

Anonymous said...

Had such experience when I was pregnant, o boy I nearly faint, lol

MISS TRUTH said...

Ha! You all made me laugh so much today hehehehe..I just kept reading and laughing, All the comments are funny hehehe..

Anonymous said...

πŸ™†πŸ½πŸ™†πŸ½πŸ™†πŸ½πŸ™†πŸ½

MISS TRUTH said...

Fun post. Very relaxing.

Anonymous said...

When I was in secondary school, I usually go home with public transportation. So I entered a taxi, a guy entered and put his hand behind me and the smell emanating from his armpit was not just meant for me. So I'm like please can you remove your hand from my back? He come vex say see this small girl o? Luckily the taxi had not moved, so I told him excuse me and got down. Smh

Anonymous said...

That was how I boarded public transport one day and I asked for my change when I was about to alight.After so much haggling over how much change I ought to collect,the conductor looked at me and said "You know even suppose to dey ask for change , you no even get better boyfriend make in buy car for you , make you no dey jump motor..fine girl like you.see the bag wey you even carry sef,,.smh

Anonymous said...

Mine was in an airline enroute Lagos from UK. Gisted with a guy sitting next to me and fell asleep only to wake up partially to this sweet feel of someone tweaking my nipples....mehn..I pretended to continue the sleep and next thing he moved my hand to his crotch in an up and down motion..I continued to act as if I was asleep, till I heard him moan and he came and me I just had a big orgasm....it was crazy. We acted like nothing happened and later exchanged phone numbers,but I no do again as I was on my way for my wine carrying

Anonymous said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Anonymous said...

Chai, who is this "wicked man" that is "carrying your wine; carrying snake into his house?"

Eccl. 7:26 comes to my mind.

Anonymous said...

These girls! See them pretending to sleep and having orgasm with a stranger in an airplane. You don't even know if he is spirit or human. Did that man eventually carry your wine?

Anonymous said...

See as some men dey carry winch enter house!

Cynthia Iyede said...

Hian!

Anonymous said...

@Anon 21:49. Yes he carried my wine..precisely 10 years ago. Happily married with 3 beautiful kids. The experience was something I shared with him (hubby) as he is not a saint too and I never laid claim to virginity.The important thing is not continuing. The world is full of pretenders who keep acting like sexual prudes. I am not ashamed of my sexuality. My 35 years
The birthday gift was a dildo from Oga which I requested for. Make Una pray to marry a guy who understands that a single act does not make a person loose or a witch(lol)

Esther Mgbolu said...

Anon 18:25,waoh,good for him though.

Anonymous said...

Hahahh 500 tasand

Esther Mgbolu said...

I raise kosi breasts for you anon21:15

Anonymous said...

Choi!!!!I just wet as I read the plane story......too sweet

Yemi7up said...

Haa won fi Eko han mi ni Ijora,that should be in 1992 or so on Christmas day.I was coming back from a my friend's house, we do exchange visitation during the holiday as per boarding student. I was about boarding a molue to Orile, I never knew those miscreants are behind me and one ahead of me as I was trying to go in the one before me blocked my entrance while the another open my bag and took my money and I didn't realize it until I was hearing sorry o hope they didn't take anything. When I got home I was just shouting won ti fi Eko han mi ooo.

Anonymous said...

Some years ago, myself and a very bossom friend left the office for our variouse house's but we had to enter the same bus of which he would alight before me. So I noticed this pretty girl seated beside me but I didn't know how 'blessed" she was. My friend tapped me to start a convo with her so I did . mind you we have our cars but decided to take bus as we were tired because we did night. Did I say she was suppose to alight after me and she was headed to her office ? Well I ended up cajoling her to alight at my friend's because he's was closer. Oboy when this girl agree to come down she be wan say make I first her come down. If u see her hips, Kai!! Na die. The conductor just shake him head. Like so I take go my friend house go fire the girl.

Anonymous said...

And what did you achieve by doing that?
How does it improve your life?
And if someone sees your sister or daughter's hips and go to a friend's house and "fire her?"
How about that?
You reap what you sow boy!

Anonymous said...

Madam, you are not loose, you are VERY loose!
So if your daughter comes from a flight and tells you that she gave a stranger her nipples and pretended to be asleep on an airplane and had orgasm, you will praise her??
Please be realistic. We are not here to pass blames so no need for all these defense.
Just having a hearty discussion on a Sunday evening.

Anonymous said...

The fact that he "carried your wine" does not make your actions right anyway.

Anonymous said...

Even now 1500 tomatoe is plenty talk more of 15-16years ago. Make Una take am jeje dey lie for this blog

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a 'Anike' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ said...

Chiiiikkeeee πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Anonymous said...

God bless you for making me laugh so hard and long.

AntiBiotic said...

How does a little girl carry pepper and tomatoes of 1,500(that should be like a basket of tomatoes and a basket of pepper) as at the time when transport was still #10 abi you people wanted to do party? Na wa o Chikito

AntiBiotic said...

My sister also experienced same... She was carrying plenty load on her legs and only noticed something was off when she heard soft moans coming from the idiot seated close to her, she adjusted her load and saw his d*ck was out and he was rubbing it on her leg. Sane looking but mad people full Lagos

Anonymous said...

Abeg no be thAt one dey do me now,how can one person be so unfortunate to sit inbetween two people with this terrible mouth odour at church and the worst is nah dem sing pass...my tummy dey do me like say i wan throw up

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