Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: When Is Divorce OK??

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Thursday, 31 August 2017

When Is Divorce OK??

Asituation which played out two weeks ago just climaxed this morning and we need to discuss it to find closure for the person who witnessed it....





''Two weeks ago, some men broke into an apartment to rob a couple,they carted away everything including ATM card,laptop, jewelries......


Before the Robbers let,they took turns in raping the woman.


This morning, I was with my Landlord when I saw the husband going in to his apartment with a young lady, I tried knowing who she was because I noticed the man has refused to come home ever since they were robbed. To my surprise, the lady in question came to deliver a divorce note to the wife while the man picked some clothes and drove out again.


My question is

*Is it her fault that she was raped?

*The recent action taken by the husband, is it right or not?


*If you were to be in his shoe,what will you have done

*Is it easy to over-look and not talk about it till death do both part?. ''

 

53 comments:

SDK's FIRST DAUGHTER (GIFT E) said...

1 its not her fault that she was raped.

2 his action is not right.

3 if I were in his shoes,I ll take her to see a shrink.

4 its not easy to over look it but we CAN over look/forget about it seeing that marriage is for better for worse.

Anonymous said...

Nigerian men are useless, the white man would pet u but our Naija man with the black evil skin would behave like d fool he is

Bianca BRUNO said...

Na wa for d man oh. Is it the woman's fault she was raped? When he is even supposed to support her now so she doesn't go into depression he is busy serving divorce notice. The man is wicked. Same man if he is paralysed by an accident or becomes blind will expect the woman to stand by him.

same girl said...

The woman is a victim and needs her husbands support now more than ever. The man in question is realy wicked and prolly never realy loved her. Maybe needed space and found the perfect excuse. No one wants to be raped. Why ddnt he try to stop the robbers? What the woman needs is someone she can talk to, a true shoulder

Ms SSS a.k.a stunning slim shady said...

Men wud always be men *smh* selfish beings

Dilichukwu said...

If the story is correct, then there is more to this story. I could easily say maybe they were having issues and the man arranged with some people to rob him and rape his wife so that he can easily divorce the woman. Do they have kids? Even if the man decides to change his mind, the marriage is already doomed because of this knee jerk reaction.

trish said...

The man should swear he has not slept with another woman since they got married..very annoying..if d reverse was the case,the woman will still stay with d man..madam take heart u hear,just take d divorce paper and move on with life jor..Selfish somebody..

Isi beke said...

It's not d woman fault dat she was raped and i think d man did wrong by wanting to divorce his wife when she needed him most

Anonymous said...

The man is a stupid man. A very very stupid man. His mates would have been smiling to jail after killing the assailants. He is busy killing a dead goat.

Kwikwi said...

If he did ever love her then that course of action is the most unreasonable or maybe he did love her but love was not enough.

May said...

It is certainly difficult for him to accept his wife was raped in front of him and he couldnt do anything to save or help her. As much as he might not be able to forgive himself,it's possible he feels he can't protect her,yet it's not a enough reason to walk away. Every rape victim needs to be loved and cared for,not rejected. His rejection of her might cause more harm to her. They both need to heal and can get through it fast together. Sticking together at this time would make them stronger. She needs him now more than before.

Sweet Mother said...

He is heartless and insensitive. unless there are underlying issues that have nothing to do with the rape.

Anonymous said...

God abeg o may we never see anything like this in Jesus name. The husband fucked up sha...he didn't even waste time. Na wa like it's the wife's fault. I pity them both. God please heal her

Anonymous said...

Its pertinent to discuss with the man and know his reason for divorcing her. If its the rape, the woman should quietly pack her things and go for therapy, with that and prayers, she will recover.


Trying to rationalize that kind of thing may lead to severe depression and mental issues. It is well #survivor#

Beautiful-Beauty said...

selfish and foolish man.
where is the love they shared?
what if the robbers were gay, i bet the wife would stay.
but is the other way round now.
God will fight for her.

mtcheeew nonsense men everywhere.

Anonymous said...

This days people do not love truly and marriage vows are now just on the lips. How could he? It's not her fault she was raped. It's hard because it's traumatic but divorce is sure a drastic and wicked act. U see I don't understand how men are wired if a man sleeps with 20 women, even bring women home, we somehow find a way to forgive this men now it's rape time Oga is going for divorce. If I were in his shoe I'd forgive and love her stand by her, pray for her, go for counseling and a way for them to heal if I love her. Kai men and wickedness.

Uberhaute| +234 8151914305| Makeover| Training| Product Sales said...

Wow! That man can kill ooo but the woman should accept the divorce, and move on. See a psychologist and therapist.
What I've realised so far in this life is ones happiness lies only with God and no human has been able to fulfil that role

EESAH ** Lagos Mainland House Rent And Property Agent ** Email In Bio said...

This one na fair weather husband o, the type that women should be praying not to ever meet. Imagine at a time he was supposed to stick with her and help her tru the phase. Small trouble and him don waka

👎👎👎

Thebosschick Boss said...

The woman isn't at fault here but what can I say? When the man in question is seizing this ample opportunity to discard the wife he's been cheating on before and probably does not love her anymore prior to this event.

Eminado Onimisi said...

The man is a scumbag, though it is painful but the woman should move on with her head high. God will heal and compensate her.

Ehi Grace lace_material_uk 07448776953 said...

The man needs counselling. He can't divorce her for such reasons

Lady T/ am worth more than a thousand dollars said...

Unfortunately the woman is always at the receiving end. Heads or tail she looses.
Did she ask the robbers to come? Its just an unfortunate incidence. He should find a way to forgive the robbers, go through counselling with his wife and move on. Why divorce her?
Now she has to battle with being robbed, and then raped through no fault of hers and loosing a marriage.

If the man insists let her move on with God on her side she will pick up and be OK.

May God heal her emotionally and psychologically and hope to God that they didn't leave her a disease. Amen

Lady T/ am worth more than a thousand dollars said...

Unfortunately the woman is always at the receiving end. Heads or tail she looses.
Did she ask the robbers to come? Its just an unfortunate incidence. He should find a way to forgive the robbers, go through counselling with his wife and move on. Why divorce her?
Now she has to battle with being robbed, and then raped through no fault of hers and loosing a marriage.

If the man insists let her move on with God on her side she will pick up and be OK.

May God heal her emotionally and psychologically and hope to God that they didn't leave her a disease. Amen

slimqueen said...

Divorcing her is even worse than what the rapist did to her. I mean he is her husband and he is supposed to help her heal. That is if he loved her at all. That man's conscience is dead and gone!

Yewande Tegbe said...

A partner that can't stick with you in times of trouble and have your back, is that one a partner? So, he decided to bring in another lady, what if she gets raped? Will he look for another? I don't think people understand what marriage entails;it is deeper than what we think. It's about Loyalty and contentment.I know of people that decided not to remarry when their partners passed just to honor their memories. If you can't be there for your partner, you're nothing but a waste of space.

Prime Babe said...

It is one of two things: He is either ashamed that he couldn't protect her (in which case I would say he is going about it the wrong way) OR he is just a %$#*&&^ pant...

Lashes said...

Awwwwww..my heart is broken...thats my greataest fears about robbery cos men are very jealous..madam dont worry..na gay men go soon come for season come rob him and d new wife

Em jay said...

It's difficult.
But divorce is never an option in such situation.

QueenBlaq. said...

Maybe the woman was moaning with pleasure from the rapists nah.... We cnt tell.... Cause we no dey there.... os i can't understand why else he'll divorce her ni.

beebumble said...

in as much as i forbid and reject never to find myself in such situation i want to say that the husband is a selfish man with no sort of human feeling. how could he do dat to his wife, the wife is in a pathetic state and must be very depressed and felt it right to serve her divorce papers. maybe he noticed the wife enjoying the "knacking" but still on still his decision is not good at all....dts my own oo

sandybaby said...

A guy once told me that if his wife was ever raped he wouldn't divorce her but that she would become irritating to him.

wideawake naija said...

It's better he divorces her than strangle her at night. Men are wired differently from women. He can't cope. I feel for the woman though

sexy Daddy said...

I will read comments.

Chike TEFLON said...

God will not allow me to be in that kind of his shoes.

But that man na confirm wicked mumu man. He left his wife when she needed him most.

trish said...

Anon11:48,not all Nigerian men are like that...Even the whites have their flaws too!Take this from someone that has being with whites before!

trish said...

Anon11:48,not all Nigerian men are like that...Even the whites have their flaws too!Take this from someone that has being with whites before!

trish said...

Real fair weather!

FUCKIT said...

Are you a nigerian?
Is your father a Nigerian?
Your brothers nko?

NIGERIA MEN ARE USELESS
Ok oh..

Anonymous said...

True

Amaka Hundeyin said...

Wow
That situation must have traumatised both of them but divorce? On what grounds? The least would have been therapy for both of them.
So much for love!

GreatCleoPatra said...

My husband will rather die fighting the robbers than watch me get raped...

What was he doing while they were raping his wife?
Coward of a husband...
Now he wants to divorce her? The woman should just leave him.. It's good riddance...

GreatCleoPatra said...

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

You just killed me... Moaning???
Haba.. 😂😂😂😂😂

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

For better or for worse right. Its obvious some spouse will only stay for the better season.
This case is a sad one, divorcing the wife is just cruel. 😒

Anonymous said...

The story above doesn't state the reason(s) the man served his wife divorce papers, so valid comments can't be made. I'm surprised that everyone thinks it's because of the rape....it could be that the couple had marital issues before the rape or the wife did something grievous to warrant divorce. But if the divorce is only because the wife was raped,then the husband is very wrong & his actions are worse than those of the robbers.

Madam Stella please give a comprehensive story next time so that bvs can dissect it well, thanks

Anonymous said...

Typical! since when are men not selfish?? instead of him to hide his head in shame for not being able to protect her!! Woman abeg move on!! good riddance to this kain horseband!!

Adeniji Bisi said...

What a great words from everyone in here...pls stay tuned to tomorrow's SP..will make all findings to know if they have had issues before this incident came up.



Love u all



Mc pinky

Anonymous said...

It's so sad because women are always blamed for everything. A friend of my husband had the same experience about 15 Years ago. Though he was and still is a lawyer. He never got his head around it and never touched his wife until he divorced her. His excuse -he couldn't lI've with her because he saw the faces of the men that raped her everytime he looked at her.

Red Wine said...

is not her fault.

the man is so wrong with his action.

the man should have protect his wife.

i feel so sad for her.

jelly said...

It is not the woman's fault that she was raped in his front, chai! May this kind of evil not befall us

Amacastel said...

Jesus Christ, some men are teribble

Ronalda. said...

‎May I ask how you arrived at the conclusion that the husband filed for divorce because of that ugly incident? Sweetheart, did you ask him why he is divorcing his wife, or are you merely adding the dots to form a straight line? In actuality, those same dots you added up to form a straight line could be intended to form a circle.

Honey, don't you think you arrived at a rather hasty conclusion? Did you stop to think that, perhaps, the marriage was already in shambles and the rape was either an unfortunate coincidence or the incident was the last straw that broke the camel's already fragile‎ back? One thing I'm certain of is, no healthy marriage breaks down 2 weeks after a horrendous event. The time frame is suspect and curious.

True, a traumatic occurrence like the sexual violation of a man's wife right under his nose by a group of thieves, may completely cripple a marriage. However, it usually takes a little longer than 2 weeks for such a drastic action. It's usually a steady decline which takes months ‎or years. It starts with a cold war gradually causing an icy distance between the couple, driving them apart slowly but surely until the center can no longer hold.

Another aspect I find curious is that the husband filed for a divorce without first separating for a reasonable time. Being separated for 2 weeks doesn't cut it. They have to live apart for at least 6-12 months, to show that indeed the marriage has broken down irretrievably, before divorce processes are filed and served. What usually happens is, the husband either moves out or asks the wife to move out of the house. Some couples remain separated for years before they finally get a divorce. Some even remain separated and live that way without ever getting divorced, especially older couples whom already have children. What is highly irregular is a husband wanting a divorce from his wife barely 2 weeks after the fact. The courts want the petitioner, the person who filed for the divorce, to have enough time to marinade until such a time as when he/she is absolutely sure that divorce is the best option.

Anonymous said...

That your family members are men doesn't change the truth. Majority of Nigerian men ARE useless. FACT!. The earlier they start noticing and accepting that, the earlier they would look into themselves and try to change. The better it would be for us women too. If you keep covering up and playing down their vile treatment of and outlook on women just because you have a father and brothers who are men, the worse you're making things for everybody and that's one of the reasons why foreigners refer to us as animals. It's mostly because of the attitudes of our men, especially the way they devalue the women and the society seems to accept such with open arms too. Please stop misplacing sentiments here. There are some good men in Nigeria but they are extremely few. The good ones need to start speaking out and acting out against These disgusting attitudes so that we know where the stand because silence is as good as approval

Anonymous said...

Enter your comment...did da woman enjoy the rape? maybe her reaction to da rape was that of someone whi enjoyed it. And if not that, the man is just wicked.

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