Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Monday, 30 October 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmm...




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE...
CONFUSED

Stella bae, keep up your good work, may God continue to bless you. Your blog is a ministry and it has really imparted my life positively over the years. I have been commenting as an anonymous over the years but presently, I was able to start commenting with an ID, THIS IS MY STORY :


I got a job in 2009 and met a guy, now my husband in my working place. We worked in the same company but different branches,the day I met him, he was sent to my branch to work for one month before leaving to his new branch.


 During his one month stay, we became friends and continued chatting on the phone after he left. He was a perfect gentleman, and tried in proving his love for me when we were dating. He was my first man, I met him as a virgin so I fell yakata for him. 



To me he was just perfect. One year after we met, he proposed and why not, I accepted. But then, I noticed he has nothing, no savings, I was more favoured in the work. I got promoted and was placed where I never had to spend my salary so, I had little cash in my savings. Along the line he had to resign to look for a better job here in Lagos. After so many applications and interviews, nothing.


 So I had to give him some of my savings to do any business of his choice and also get a place to stay as he was squatting with people. I visited and before could say Kai, I was already pregnant. We had to use the remaining savings and rush the marriage in 2011. Hubby was never a lazy person but everything we invested in that business went down the drain and i have already resigned and joined him due to my kind of morning sickness was a special type,vomiting blood and anaemic, it was terrible so I had to stop working.


 We had nothing anymore, the scourge of poverty became unbearable. I had to do all manner of business to survive, I hawked chin chin, i did labouring job, hubby too,became Jack of all jobs hoping for a better tomorrow. BVN, before you know it, hubby the perfect gentleman changed.


 I have been enduring a lot of emotional violence,He does as it pleases him and I can't even confront him, turned to a drunk, cheats, the worst of all is his sleeping out. He goes out in the morning and comes back the next day without bothering to call or pick my calls and whenever I tried to talk to him he shouts at me in the manner i won't border to explain. He does not beat me but his attitude is driving me crazy. 


By God's grace, I was able to save and enrol in an interior design course and I am through with my training. Even though I am still believing God for jobs to start coming, I really really want to take a break from my marriage, cool my head small. He said I have no one to run to so, there is nothing I can do concerning him. I want to run to a cousin's place with my kids so that he know my values and regret his actions but a friend told me, I might be the looser. 


Please, fellow BVs, I hardly sleep in the night and my BP when checked last was high, at 33,do I continue like this? What should I do? I have prayed and prayed. What else should I do? Insult me, say it as you like but advice me on the right thing to do because a lot is coming to my mind now.


Na wah!!!
You want to leave to teach him a lesson?fine but how does that improve the dead beat financial situation?He is obviously acting like this becos of his financial situation....
Now you see how a bad financial situation can kill love in a marriage?Please if you are reading ths and about to make the same mistake,plan well before you get married..love does not survive in these conditions.


63 comments:

Blackberry said...

This one you all resigned n resigned only to fall back on nothing, was it wise resigning? Nawa.

Anonymous said...

Poster if you want to leave make up your mind and leave the marriage. if you want to stay den stay and face ya marriage. Don't leave to come back when begged.

Miss Ess said...

Tbis is pathetic. My fear is how do you survive before business starts yielding fruit.

Oh Lamee said...

Rushing into marriage is not advisable. You have to think of how to work things out...leaving is not d way out now sis.

Ed said...

You shouldn't have resigned from work knowing he wasn't working...you would have taken some time off like sick leave since you are more favored at work... It's well with you dear.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm nawa for marriages.you find out that once couple tie the knot things just begins to fall apart. Is there a force. I advise people seek spiritul help before marrige. Your head may not like noise, may not like crowd. We are Africans, don't let oyinbo lifestyle decieve you. Enemies of goodthings plenty for our continents.be very careful

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

Poster you should not have resigned from your place of work. Since you are having HBP, why dont you leave for your sanity to be intact, then restrategise on what will make you happy.

May God help marriages oooo.

Adadioramma said...

Stella this your red pen eeh. Finance alone cannot sustain a marriage either.
Poster you are such a nice woman. Your husband couldn't handle his problem but that is not enough reason for him to be misbehaving. I advise you give up on childbearing for now. Concentrate on yourself and your children. He is been frustrated. Please don't leave your Home. Act as if his absent matters not. He will surely come back and apologise. Remember that delay is not denial and that patient dog eat the fattest goat. Some people got married very rich but ended up hawking. I believe in counting one before two.
My little cents though.

Love.Eating.Pussy said...

For now don't leave him, try and develop a thick skin and an I don't care attitude so that you don't die of Hige blood pressure because of too much worrying

For now try and get a job to take care of your finances and once you can follow that start saving for yourself alone...please and please don't save and then give him your cash again.

As a man let him go sort himself out, you have been helpful to him before, now is the time to focus on yourself and your kids.

Keep praying and your financial situation will change

LEPπŸ˜›

St.FranKooL.... said...

When poverty enters through the door, love does a backflip & dives out through the nearest window...

Chike TEFLON said...

Poster I would have say that he is acting like that because of poverty but him cheating is what I don't understand. which money is he spending on the ladies?

Madam channel your energy to the work you learn and start applying for new job. If your husband want to lash otele tell him to use condom maka ndu gi.

Anonymous said...

The biggest mistake you made was resigning from your job when he was also jobless because of morning sickness... push until you can't anymore. Never give up!!

Pastor Sexy Daddy said...

Poster,what you guys need now is unity and love.I think your husband is frustrated.

All he needs now is putting his ass together and embrace God fully! As fas there is life,hope dey.

Poster don't leave your husband, ok.Have a heart to heart talk with him.I think this is the time he needs you most.

PS.My dear single ladies, don't be too quick to resign in your job when you finally gets married. Marriage is beyond I love you and I love,big dick,fine boy and those initial gra gra.

Jostified Doc said...

Rushing to resign without an alternative is always a bad idea. I pray restoration for you poster.

La' Sunshine said...

Money is one of the key things that kills love in a marriage, even if the lady is working and the man isn't it's not easy at all it takes the grace of God. Your husband is just frustrated but that is not the way to go about it though but I guess we all deal with situations differently in the best way we can, I will advice you just focus on your kids ignore him totally act like he doesn't exist it might be difficult sha as long as his not hitting you continue to pray leaving your marriage won't solve the problem on ground . May the good Lord visit your case in Jesus name.

TheReal said...

You resigned cos of morning sickness instead of going on maternity leave. You gave all your savings to a lazy man with big dreams of doing business instead of treating the savings as protection for your child. Small time now, they will say you should go for deliverance. Of all the bad decisions, you have made - you now want to leave - JUST TO TEACH HIM A LESSON, of all reasons. I am really sorry for you - your next chronicle is loading

La' Sunshine said...

If you like take all your time in this world it is just by the grace of God. Nothing in life is guaranteed people change, life happens reality set in so forget talk of rushing in abeg

Miss Juliet said...

Once u leave he will bring in the side chicks and they will turn baby Mama. Better stay and keep believing God for a job and just let him be,let him do whateva he wants as long as he doesn’t hit u. Stay there na for better for worse

SheriKoko said...

See what premarital* sex causes... u visited and kai u re pregnant"πŸ˜’. If only u dated with purpose, sat down and planned ur life well and how to handle ur finances... but no body dey sweet una. Hw can a man squatting wt someone be having unprotected sex biko... Not really judging u but just so young people can learn.
Don't leave ur hubby find a way to ignore him and get a job atleast. Ds ur situation tire me. He resigned without having gotten another job, next thing u resigned too... Poor kids. May God's favour locate you before December in Jesus name

Eleganza said...

i think leaving him is not an option even though i know is not easy. poster hold on to God and always play with ur kids to calm urself down. hard time dnt last, d did has already been done.

Bubble gum said...

You saw the sign dear but you were drunk in love. While dating you noticed he didn't have savings, no other source income,no drive to better himself. You should have done the robot dance straight out of his life. Now you are stuck with him for better for worse.

BLOGLORD (MVBM) said...

Every little thing, you people will want to run out of marriage. The marriage you ran into without considering the future of it.

You and your husband made so many unwise decisions. Make effort to remedy them.
Speak with your husband and tell him he is hurting you with his utterances. .Pray to God for grace, favour and open doors in your finances.

Just try to get back on track. This is just a tough time but it will pass.
Most marriages suffer lots of issues during the 1st 3years before they begin to understand one another perfectly and work together for the best of their union.

Work it out hun. Be strong and work it out. You can.
I pray you both get through this amicably. All the best

Anonymous said...

St FranKool oooooo

Hot P!nk Lips said...

IF IT IS TRUE...with what you said, dear poster LOVE is not enough...its late but you should not have resigned from your job coupled with what you were gaining from it..You need to be patient now with him, pray with him and keep hustling till you get the best...I pray God gives you the strength..Read the book of Proverbs very well

Jeni_zee said...

You made ur bed so lie on it, u knew he doesn’t have a job, u would have been strong to overlook ur morning sickness, u knew he was poor nd u married him, so what should I advice? He doesn’t hit u so I can’t say leave him

Push up said...

You rushed this whole thing, why have unprotected sex? Moving on, please go to your cousins place for a while and see if you can start doing something as well at least you will have enough rest of mind to look for customers, if he comes to beg fine, but for now you need space because if you die his life will still go on

Push up said...

Aunty morning sickness get level no, hers is obviously the normal type, not all can be managed, a friend of mine can't do shit for 5months straight, now who would give you five months leave... she just had no business have unprotected sex finish

MonkeyNoFineTheTafiaMama said...

I thought it was only rich men that makes women cry in their marriage according to what some commentary makes us to believe πŸ˜‹ secondly, you all see why I believe that it was tonto that actually paid for her brideprice πŸ˜‚ so many ladies are on it tho except social media warriors.......


madam the man issa bad luck to you,believe me wen you move out things will automatically fall in place for you.

Most precious stone said...

Its not about rushing, if you rush or not life will happen. Madma stay in your house and start looking for for clients, call on God, all will be well, going to your cousin's place will bring so much gossip, insult etc

Anonymous said...

Not in all cases, but in many cases.

Anonymous said...

Poster I hope your hubby didn't marry you because of your job. Some men only marry women who they feel are ok financially without necessarily loving them. This could explain why he lost interest when you gave up your work. If you get another job or paying hustle his love might return. As you are trying for yourself also try to help him secure a job if you can. I know men who helped their wives get good jobs and I believe a wife can help too. Try to make yourself and your child happy and draw closer to God. I believe you will be fine. I like your spirit. Not those that will come here and demand for solutions as if they are buying you data.

Anonymous said...

Dated with purpose, hmm, makes sense for both sexes.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a Ugegbe Chike Teflon said...

See wahala oh! Resigned to get into a business that's not yet set up?
If your company is big enough to have branches, that means they would also have ethical HR policies that could have allowed you take a short leave. Even if its unpaid. I hope others can see and learn from that.

Also, moving out won't change him. Please make your own money while he makes his own. Let him go for deliverance too because it's as if favour doesn't follow anyone with his surname -lol. You were better off as a single girl. Marriage should be a blessing not a curse.

Ed said...

Pastors don't use the word ass' Sexy Daddy😘😘😘

Anonymous said...

The problem with this couple is not "financial situation" as presented and insinuated.
The problem is no courtship but "sex, sex, and lots of sex"
They focused on the hymen and pounded it
The lady had and good job and was "not touching her salary"
The man had a job, though not earning much
Why couldn't they plan based on this incomes?
Why did the woman have to "resign and join" him that had no job and
not the other way round?
Why did they focus on sex before marriage instead of planning?
They "rushed the marriage" when the man was down financially
which meant that marriage was not on the cards at all
Once the man is having free access to a vagina, he does not wish to marry
This is what girls should learn, it's become a painful recurring decimal.

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

hahahahahah frankool you is a serious case

Anonymous said...

God help you poster.





Charitybino

Pastor Sexy Daddy said...

Ed hahahhaah.Aru adiro gi!

njiaju joyce said...

Worries and complain only add more sorrows to problems.pls don't leave ur home @ poster.

Just Bella. said...

Madam please stay in your home and concentrate more on your self and your kids... No man is worth HBP. You can your business while in your husband's house and just ignore him for now, he is behaving out of frustration . it is well.

Chyluv! said...

Kids? Like you even had more kids in such situation, hmmmm. Anyway, you need to focus on yourself and your kids, get a JOB! You had a good 1 before so u can either try going back there or try other places, u shouldn't have resigned rather taken sick leave without pay as long as u could resume when u are fine. Such a sad situation n I don't understand ur hubbys new ways, does it mean he has money to spend on frivolous activities? Maybe you both should take a break, clear ur head, pray about it too but pls get a job, do the designing stuff on the side for now. Big hugs

Halima Muhammed said...

Dear poster if u think moving out of his house wl gv u peace pls do without hesitation. Mind u i didn't say u should divorce him but just gv him a space for now. Why an saying this is bcx i understand that depression is a terrible disease that kills faster than AIDS most especially if u don't hv anyone to talk to. You ar the one receiving the heat, i don't really know how bad ur situation is that is the reason why i can't advice u to stay. May the favour of God locate you soon...

Maree said...

Leaving is not the issue. What you should occupy yourself with is improving your financial situation. By the time you get busy with work, you will have little time to ponder on his attitude.After a while, he will come around. Also, pls and pls don't think of having another child for now.
Can I have a warm welcome, I am a new BV and this is my first post.

Anonymous said...

This people saying you shouldn't have left your job the deed is already done... Proffer solutions no blame... Dear pray to the God you serve and if leaving him will make you feel better DO IT... You are not obligated to stay in an unhealthy relationship cos if u die of high blood pressure your kid will be all alone and you will be forgotten in weeks and he will marry another person and move on..... Sorry I'm so pissed by men's immature behaviour and how they are justified.. Try and find happiness again in things u love to do and for yourself and child.. God bless you.

Anonymous said...

you people talk as if the jobs are hanging on the trees, but we are too lazy to go get them or what? Stop kicking people when they are down! Don't you know that printing CVs costs money and looking for a job costs money too? you think being unemployed is a choice?

chai, my ink has dried, no more rants abeg

Anonymous said...

you people talk as if the jobs are hanging on the trees, but we are too lazy to go get them or what? Stop kicking people when they are down! Don't you know that printing CVs costs money and looking for a job costs money too? you think being unemployed is a choice?

chai, my ink has dried, no more rants abeg

Anonymous said...

Hi poster..so sorry about what you are going through. My first advise is stop showing emotions. Act unaffected. Stop calling when he is out. Just blank. Don't keep malice o, act normal when he is around. But don't waste your emotions on him or his action. I'm also married and from experience those behaviours are encouraged when you baby him, check on him etc. Free him. 2nd advice- you CANNOT have bp cos of one man. Uhm...if you die, it's your kids that will suffer. You need to live for your kids. They need you alive and well. Keep working hard, God will give you a breakthrough by His grace. Something will give. Moving out maybe pointless if you aren't ending the Marriage. Face your problem. Stop emotional investment for now. Work on your own progress. God help you. Sending hugs your way!x

SouljaGal*** said...

La sunshine and Most precious yes it's not about rushing but there's something called plan. Imagine if the poster's husband had gotten a job no matter how small before they got married? imagine if she had not resigned or while on the job she took the interior classes on weekends? shey the pregnancy sickness was too much and she resigned buh later hawked chin chin and labouring job? yes no one can tell tomorrow buh this poster and her husband rushed their wedding, who plans a wedding with their last savings? who are you doing the wedding to impress sef?

DON™ said...

Welcome, please behave yourself around here.

Red Wine said...

Is well

DON™ said...

Sorry your husband is stressed because of his financial status, try and ignore him whether he's ranting, don't let those words get to you, Just free him and Di your thing for now.
Mistake made but one has to move beyond the past now.

SheriKoko said...

Kpele...more reason why no one should resign unless he or she already has an alternativea

Tuesday's Child said...

Dear poster, so sorry but know that this will also pass. Pls go with the advice of Anonymous 18:57 and stop 'emotional investment' as she put it. Don't leave your home cos you sound like you don't want to end your marriage. I will also advise that you get a regular job while you do the interior design business by the side for now. God will give you wisdom and the strength you need. Please don't dwell on the past and feel bad for any 'mistakes' you might have made. Just learn from them and move on.

Anonymous said...

Sorry oh for those saying he is acting cause of his financial status, are you also trying to say he is cheating for free outside? Free food free house who does that. Sit that man down and talk to him empty your heart. If he is tired of the marriage you both go separate ways if not build his home.

Anonymous said...

change the atmosphere at home. You have people to cry to. Don't ever think you are helpless. BVs, stop kicking people when they are down, do you know the courage and feeling of helplessness she experienced before taking her problems to a blog? even you chikito, the voice of sanity around here?
Please madam, send a meme to Stella if you haven't done so, showcasing your work. lots of people read this blog and reach out to help and patronize.
lastly, moving out may help you regain your confidence and composure. It has helped me before with DH, but I don't know if it will work with your hubby.

Victoria said...

Try to be patient with him please

Anonymous said...

PLEASE DO NOT GET PREGNANT AGAIN. Man without work you are mentioning children not child. Sister NO MORE CHILDREN PLEASE. 33 with BP because of a human being who is cheating and emotionally abusing you. He was always this way so get that part sorted out in your head.

What are your next steps? Forget all this teaching him a lesson business. WAKE UP SISTER. You have kids to cater to, sorry to say but drop love one side biko. You have to FIGHT for the future of your children. God so kind you are only 33, you can do all sorts. Can you go back to your previous employer and ask for a position? I am certain you are looking for another position right now. Keep seeking out new ways to advance yourself please. That man is doing what he knows best...NOTHING. If you need space to clear your head, take it. However, I see you are madly in love with him so you are going nowhere. Do not get your kids into a cycle of pack out pack in. It looks stupid, it confuses them and people stop taking you seriously.

Focus on getting YOU back together. You owe those babies and yourself better. Like our sisters will say, face your kids they are now your husband.

Anonymous said...

It is not easy at all. That is why a lot of business fold up.

Anonymous said...

Sister, I have no easy words for you. You are 33, a mother of more than 1 child. Sister biko sit up. You want to die on top man that has always been lousy? He is not acting out of frustration. I have seen men take jobs in Maiduguri (yes Boko Haram region) to feed their families in this times. Your husband is there lounging and sleeping around and you are focused on that?

Honey, your life is hanging in the balance. How about your children? How are they managing? An absent irresponsible father, a mother focused on a man without sense? What did they do to deserve this level of nonsense from 2 grown consenting adults?

You step out of your feelings for two seconds and imagine if you were in their shoes. You helped bring them to this world, you owe them better than this. We are allowed to be stupid with our choices but not when it comes to our kids. Your actions today will determine their future. So please eh Nne, forget that boy...pour your heart and soul to God for a way out of this life you are in and POUND THE PAVEMENT like there is no tomorrow. As many have said, you are not going anywhere so sit there and continue to live as "husband and wife" but remove your thoughts from what was a DOA marriage from the start.

YOU CAN DO THIS, find purpose outside of that man and watch yourself flourish.

mimi iwems said...

Never be carried away by love-you may think is love but it is lust. Seek Gods approval before marriage.
May God see you through. You have to endure and keep praying for him. Focus on your baby and keep playing your wifey roles.

Anonymous said...

Louder Stella, for the ignorant ones.
Even in counseling before you get married, they will tell you finances are an important part of marriage. No money can destroy things.

Anonymous said...

Madam poster, if whatever you do now is to make him notice you so he can change, you'll never get out of that situation. Forget totally about him, and i said totally, concentrate on you and your kids. Co wider yourself a widow in your home. You left work cos of special morning sickness but had to do labouring job bcos of poverty. I really feel for you. I will keep saying this, no man is worth your financial independence. Start to focus on yourself and improve. You once worked in a good place, that was all you. You can do it again. Dust your self confidence were you kept it and get up girl. I was like you before i borrowed myself brain

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Advertisement