Stella Dimoko Why Kill Over Infidelity?


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Tuesday, 21 November 2017

Why Kill Over Infidelity?

Every woman wants her husband to herself. Men can't even bear the thought of sharing their woman with another man. That is evolutionary biology for you. 

That said, all the headache associated with spousal monitoring in marriage is a fool's errand. Cheating/adultery like many sins, are situational and opportunistic. Catching a cheating man or woman in the act is not worth losing a sleep over, much less killing for it. Why take a life because of infidelity? It is insane.

In the prime of our lives, most humans yield to influences and opportunities. Most especially, we often yield to the chemicals of our lives. It is the effect of culture, social mores and religion that helps to moderate these influences.

My advise is; in any relationship, friendship or marriage, please leave room for a man or woman to be human. Leave room for betrayal. I know a woman's nesting instincts influences us to want to legislate faithfulness. Biologically we do this to protect our offsprings. We want fathers to cater for their children.

Life has taught me that the maximum number of years, a man can roam and sow is 10 years. After that, his eyes and penis go into disagreement. By age 40, most men begin to prepare for penile retirement. These days, the unusual combinations of illicit drugs, blood pressure medications, alcohol and low T, speeds up the retirement. I don't see why a woman should lose sleep over a passing phase. While a man is in decline, a woman becomes da bomb between 33 and 50. At this age, she is no longer ashame of her body and she is at her sexual prime. She does this with aplomb until the ravages of menopause like vaginal dryness starts stealing her thunder. With hormonal therapy, this phase can be elongated for another 15 years while the man thinks about Viagra, oysters or street corner Burantashi to wake up.

By middle age, male or female, everybody is gentle. School fees, midlife crisis and other demands of life does not make cheating very attractive as it used to be. So, why the wahala? Why kill a wife, husband or sever a penis? Our great grandmothers married younger wives for their husbands when they became too old and tired to wash agbada, cook, clean and have sex. There was peace. The younger wife usually became a wife-servant. We can learn a lot of life lessons from how they lived in peace. With washing machine, cooking stove, microwave and modern conveniences, we seem to have it all but less happy. Why? We must think and decide what these hypermodern demands is doing to marriage and relationships. Some people's marital requirements looks more like qualification for sainthood.

I am not a man, but I understand them enough to make informed judgement. I urge ladies to invest in themselves. Have a job, invest time in a hobby, take care of yourself, your husband, your children and your home. If you love a man, let him roam. For the men, it will take the combined effort of Sherlock Holmes and Houdini to catch a cheating woman. With birth control, mobile phone and social, don't even bother monitoring.

If you read this as an endorsement of cheating/adultery, you need to hire a tutor to teach you English comprehension.

By Bamidele Ademola-Olateju


  1. Why would I kill my husband for cheating when I can knack pigeon?....
    Correct married women don't stress them selves over this nah!...
    Your husband will even thank you for knacking pigeon on his head!...

    1. Lmaooo @ will even thank you 4 knacking pigeon on their head. Chief kenan!!
      Marriage matter no just be here. Thanks for this piece.

  2. Bamidele thank you!
    Leave room for betrayal...
    No time to break head!
    Stop beating ur chest n vouch for any human, when calabash break you go crazy!
    Baa kudi for lawyer!

  3. Self love is very important. I love myself too much yo go to jail for murder, or to get HBP, etc.
    I also, trust God to take care of things and tame my man.
    I ask he dwells in God's presence always & have the fear of God.

  4. Wife just walk away if u cant stand your husband cheating on u...Dont kill and be killed.
    It's not worth it.

  5. You made valid points. Committing murder is just stupid af.But what of a situation whereby the man is a philanderer and doesn't stop even with mid life crisis, or he brings back home st diseases, like HIV, HPV/cervical cancer, warts, hepatitis! What does the woman do in such situation, fold her arms and let him roam hoping its a passing phase? I would rather be alone than be with an unrepentant cheat

    1. I had to read that line again, 'if you love your man let him roams. Epistle of a resigned woman. Rubbish.

    2. Hmm, let him roam of you love him, you say! Exactly what my sister did until she died from HIV/Aids contracted from him as a result of his "roaming". Marry him a second wife! Sometimes we don't gauge what we say, where is religion in all these?!?

  6. Haha oya cheating wives and cheating husband come and tell us why you are cheating ?

  7. Well, it's really a complicated issue when it comes to cheating and the truth is that a woman is more likely to cheat but a man goes the extreme and shares his cucumber which is what everyone tags against him and that's why the writer can point stylishly to men being the bigger culprit. What am i saying self..
    The simplicity of all is; if you can't handle and keep your head straight but get swayed cause one yeye partner is cheating, please don't bother indulging in any commitment or relationship.. like single, live happy.. #YOLO cheers


  8. From another dimension, at what point should the word "cheating" be used... When you are simply boyfriend-girlfriend, Fiance-fiancee, Husband-wife???

  9. Lol @ " a man philandering stops/reduces at 50"
    Issa big lie oooooooo
    That is when men even get their groove on because by then pepper don rest and investments don mature
    Thats when they start eyeing their daughters friends and pursuing undergrads upandan
    Kids have left the house, Wifey has removed her eyes from him so the freedom is not here o
    Abi you dont know that the older the man, the younger his love interests?
    For some men philandering is a lifelong career o. ask the Musa Danjumas and that a octogenarian senator that married that young lady.

  10. God bless this poster. You hit the nail on the head.

  11. Lately my libido seems to be higher than my husband's own. I wish he can go 3 or 4 round in a session but he goes just one round ( that is when my body just get in to action). The next sex comes up like 2 or 3weeks time.

    Sometimes I feel sad that I am missing out on a fulfilled sexual life but honestly I will rather masturbate than cheat. May be it's because before I can submit my body to any man, I have to love you.

    Please is there a drug I can give him to use

    1. I feel you. That's my story. But the annoying part is that hubby is a community dick. he uses drugs for his small small girls.

  12. Anon with high libido, there's are some sex enhancement drugs he can take,viagra n the likes. Some fruits are also aphrodisiacs but i would advice u to get a rabbit, so everyone can be happy. 😆

  13. Women if you want to live long ignore men and their cheating habits.cheating is a normal thing for African men. Walk away if you can't stand it. Violence can never solve any problem. It is only God who can change a man.


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