Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Wednesday, 6 December 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

This is not fair na......







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MOVING ON FRO A HUSBAND IN THE DIASPORA


Hello Stella,
Please I need your red pen and that of my fellow BVs.

I got married traditionally 7years ago and had a son immediately.

My husband travelled abroad that same year we got married for greener pastures.i went through all the pregnancy alone and I'm raising my son alone too,since my husband travelled,he has not returned.


All through these years,I have never cheated on him.


Now to my problem,we can hardly feed.even to pay school fees na war.

If I demand money from him,he will say he doesn't have that things are not going well for him over there.

I work in a pure water factory and my salary is 10k.

I live with my parents and he was the one paying the house rent but for the past two years,he has not renewed the rent.

The insults and the name calling I get from my parents are making me depressed.i contribute in a small way to the house whenever my salary is paid but my mother normally hides food from me and even to my son.


For the past two years,my husband in the abroad has not sent a dime for our upkeep.he doesn't pick my calls sometimes.
anytime I ask him for money,he will tell me he doesn't have.


We survive just by the grace of God.

I forgot to add that his people hates me because I'm not from his town.they told him not to marry me.infact,when we did our traditional marriage,his dad and kinsmen came but non of his siblings came.


Now this is where I need you guys advise,should I move on with my life and return the bride price to his people or should I continue to wait for him?


I once told him I want to move on and he didn't say anything.

he don't even know when he is coming back cos he doesn't have papers.he says his pastor says I'm the person making him not to make money.i have gone for deliverances and I pray alot.

Sometimes,I feel like killing my self but who will take care of my son?i love him so much.he is the reason I still smile.
Do God really answer prayers?why has he turned his back on me?




*My dear ,looks like your 'horseband' has moved on and is trying to drop tips for you to do same..No pastor told him anything please.

Why must he be the one to give you a better life?go around and look for  a better paying job.try t get your life back in order,life doesnt stop because a man stops picking your calls.

Your man might be remarried abroad and trying to frustrate you to go...7years is a LONG TIME to wait for anyone.

Returning his money is not even the solution,get a plan B;you need to also move out of your parents house...you should have left when the Ovation was loudest.
I am sorry to advice you but i think you need to move on my dear!!!



54 comments:

Blackberry said...

You better find ur square root.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

So you mean to tell me your kpekus has nt been serviced?...
Most women that have abroad husbands have side bobos so start by getting your self one...
This is not marriage nah!...
Nawa!!...

Ice Queen said...

7years of waiting for a man who doesn't even pay your bills or make you feel comfortable like a woman with an abroad husband, My dear move on,try and get a better paying job and when you can afford it return his bride price.

Take care of yourself and your child and when he comes back make sure he doesn't have any access to you or the child.
Forget the bastard and be sure to take your pound of flesh when he comes begging for his child because he must come.

Go fix your life and forget about the phony marriage


Chike TEFLON said...

Some Nigerian ladies and abroad husband are like 5&6.



Poster move on and forget about him. Tell your son that he is one of those slaves they sold in Libya.

Look for another good paying job and give other men space for marriage. But return the bride price he paid to his people.

Ice Queen said...

7years of waiting for a man who doesn't even pay your bills or make you feel comfortable like a woman with an abroad husband, My dear move on,try and get a better paying job and when you can afford it return his bride price.

Take care of yourself and your child and when he comes back make sure he doesn't have any access to you or the child.
Forget the bastard and be sure to take your pound of flesh when he comes begging for his child because he must come.

Go fix your life and forget about the phony marriage


Miss Ess said...

This is no marriage. Move on and forget about him. God will open new doors for you and send you a helper

Chika Vincent said...

Oh! Since your hubby travel for 7years he has not send you Even 5k and you are still keeping your punni intact for him, Nne my sister open ya Eyes and see realitic, you are doing 10k job that one is suffering and smilling,why wasting your time for a man dat hardly even calls self, My dear face your face and look for someone reasonable to be taking care of you and your son..me wait for man for 7years becoz he pay stupid bride price God forbid, abeg marriage no be do or die ooo...

Adadioramma said...

Agu nwanyi...I missed you Nne.

Olive Oyl said...

Hmmm...please move on dear,he's no more interested! collect your bride price esp as his family is not on your side! You need to be up and doing,quit that job or find another one, and add another source of income. Your parents are not nice,they are more concerned about money,please move out ASAP and give yourself and your son an enabling environment to grow! It is well with you. Please BVs with job offers or free skills training, pls reach out to Stella for her deets

happyheart said...

pls return his bride pricde and move on joor. this is not marriage

Faithful God said...

You have tried, please move on when you gather money pay them back the bride price

Adadioramma said...

Ana emenu...No be only Libya slaves

Joyful wife said...

Chike this ur comment don pain my chest o, hahahaha @tel ur son he, s one of those slaves there sold in labia. Omg

Default Smile said...

U r not married o....bikonu move on. Life is not this hard

Anonymous said...

How many think that the solution to their hardship lie abroad baffles me. 7years is a long time to be seperated from one's partner and to think he has no return date is even more sickening. I believe you both have grown apart and the marriage is just there because you two have a son together. I don't know about returning the bride price but I know it is high time you started hustling.

Madam Estateowner said...

@ Queen and the Boss- omo, you can give advice for african. You are so funny. i like your bluntness sha because some times we need it.

As for the poster, that's not marriage at all. you dont have a husband. please talk to your parents to give you time to make amends , look for a better job and return his bride price. Move on because the man is no longer interested in the marriage

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

I would have advised you to stay,get a side bobo,enjoy yourself and wait for him if he is giving you the money!....
Please move on!...
Get a rich man that would be taking care of you!...
Especially a old married man like pa Fadeyi Toke!...
Don't break his home oh!...
Just chop and clean mouth!...
Your mother is a very wicked woman!...

deltamama said...

Mrs please move on with your life. Your husband has remarried so stop waiting for him.

Blossom said...

You even tried this waiting this long. I don't think he is interested in you anymore. Pleasese dust yourself and look for a better paying job and become financially stable.

For your son's sake, do all you can to make it and I am very sure God will cos you to succeed. Your horse band in the abroad and moved on, please do same.

Adadioramma said...

Poster, this is your trying time. Please hold unto God. Your husband might be passing through a lot over there. You mentioned he has been paying for the rent until last 2 years, meaning that he heart you people. Staying abroad does not guarantee success. Are you sure he is not inside? Over there, one can be inside and still have access to phones. A cousin of mine that we interact with suddenly changed. No phone calls, if I call, he hardly pick. Read my chat and ignore. I was angry with him. Only for him to call me yesterday that he was picked up. Not that he committed any offence o, just that he sent her little daughter to Nigeria and the girl has over stayed. Oyibo people started looking for the girl and got him arrested. He spent 3weeks there. Please keep praying for your husband. Remember some people wanted to see you guys separated. I pray you get a good job soon. Please don't take it south with your Mother, she is been frustrated.

Miss Juliet said...

No dear wait for him. He will come back in 50 years time. Please dear just wait ok. ......
The signs that this man has moved on and doesn’t care weda u and ur son eat or not is there and you are still asking weda u should wait for him. God will help u

Anonymous said...

Nne u r on ur own. Please u r not married ooo. Move on to the next man ooo but before then find better job

Priceless Jewel said...

Wait for what? What kind of question is that! By now you whould have had other children! Age isn't on your side madam, better find your square root & forget about him, else you wait in vain, the handwriting is clearly on the wall, he has also hinted you on his intent. Marriage is by two people not only one person, you're married to yourself dear! You better move on with your life & stop waiting for someone who no even send you! That's why I cannot dot this my hubby is abroad shit, it's either we're here of there together! No stories!



... Jesus is my worth!

Anonymous said...

I DONT GIVE PEOPLE NEGATIVE ADVICE ON THIS BLOG BUT BABE, IMAGINE EARNING 10K IN THIS NAIJA ECONOMY. MY ADVICE IS THAT YOU SHOULD MOVE ON. FIRST OF ALL, TELL HIM THAT YOU WANT A DIVORCE. GETTING PAPER ABROAD IS NOT BEANS. DONT BE SURPRISED IF HE HAS GOTTEN ANOTHER WIFE

Anonymous said...

I DONT GIVE PEOPLE NEGATIVE ADVICE ON THIS BLOG BUT BABE, IMAGINE EARNING 10K IN THIS NAIJA ECONOMY. MY ADVICE IS THAT YOU SHOULD MOVE ON. FIRST OF ALL, TELL HIM THAT YOU WANT A DIVORCE. GETTING PAPER ABROAD IS NOT BEANS. DONT BE SURPRISED IF HE HAS GOTTEN ANOTHER WIFE

Anonymous said...

I cannot believe you asked her to wait after 7years.you must be heartless and wicked
Is it rent that they will eat or take care of the child.
Madam poster..Find another job,move out and leave your child with your parents till you find your footing.they cannot harm their own grandchild.
Return the bride price asap,find money to buy better powder and give another man a chance.

Esohjay said...

Since his pastor has told him you're his problem I think it's safe to say you're his wife by nomenclature only.
Madam,divorce this man already

DavinaRose said...

"Labia" kwa. I see why you are a joyful wife. Hubby must be working overtime.

Anonymous said...

You are living in self inflicted bondage! Return that bride price at once as in right now! You need to realize that you don't have a husband and restrategize your life. As skin as possible try and move out of your parents' house. Madam how can you let yourself suffer this way?? After 3 to 4 years, you should have ended the marriage. May your God help you. This is really sad though

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a Ugegbe Chike Teflon said...

Mene mene tekel upharsin....

So when they call married women you sef go raise hand stand up? 😐😐😐 stay there and be asking GCE questions.

Anonymous said...

Igbo girls and this their abroad 'horseband' matter every time! Abeg we haff tired for you people.
Madam move on and face ya front biko'nu.

Aunty Agnostic said...

Lady please don't even tell him that you are going to return the bride price. No! Just gather your people and do it. Let them be the ones to inform him. End all means of communication with him and just focus on yourself and your son. Move out to somewhere your people or his don't know. Start any hustle but keep yourself safe. You need to do better for yourself and your son. That man is married to somebody else over there whether white or black. He probably already has children and has told the person you're his sister who got pregnant out of wedlock and a burden to the family. Woman wake up and smell the stinking fish. Please and please update us on what you decide to do next and how you went about it. I wish there was a way to send money. BTW is it not iilegal to pay people below minimum wage??? Gosh! Nigeria is disgusting. Heaven knows I'm pissed!

Anonymous said...

This man like most Nigerian "single/unaccompanied" men in western countries have:
1. Dodging immigration or doing menial works/crimes to survive
2."Married", gotten his green-card and waiting for citizenship after like 3-5 years and possible finding it difficult to divorce her.
3. Got involved in a crime and is in jail (?? since he picks your call "sometimes")

Now please dear, do not apportion any blame to God. You probably did not even consult him before taking your decision to marry this man and "have a son immediately" (?? chastity). Yes, God still answers prayers and will answer you. Look at yourself as the one with a "problem" and not God. Seek him humbly.
Passionately plead with your family to get this man's family involved to say what has become of him and of course you. What you do is dependent on what they tell you. Act wisely and if he has "moved on", then do same. But remember that he still remains your son's dad.

Anonymous said...

There is nothing in this abroad that folks rush to.
A lot of girls will still make this mistake this December/January
Why mortgage your life for material gains that do not last?

DON™ said...

You never get husband before now. Sorry, move on.

Anonymous said...

Na only labia? Vulva nko

The Lifted said...

na wa o, this is a terrible situation to be in.
All I can say is don't rush into another relationship/marriage for now, just hold on & look for opportunities to better your situation financially b4 you can reason any serious relationship, perhaps your abroad husband is still misbehaving all these time then you can dump his sorry ass, although it seems he has moved on.

Anonymous said...

Ayam with Stellz. Poster you are still asking?

Anonymous said...

Even my house girl does NOT earn 10K!!! Jesus!! I pay her 20K because 18K is the minimum wage, plus lunch and breakfast and clothes and the plenty money i and my husband dash her o. Please look for a better job. And please know that your "Horseband " is now married over there. He has long since moved on pls moveeeeeeeee onnnnnn! Get ur life together. I feel like you have wasted years waiting for one man to come make your life better!! Its not like that pls u are a mother and owe it to your son to be up and doing. Wont he go to school? Pls pick up your whining sef and be strong. Remarry oooo and improve urself with a new job or learn a skill and start up!

Anonymous said...

Lmao!

Yellowsisi said...

First of all,try get a better paying job if you are educated.Take good care of yourself and your son,save up some money and move out from your parents house,your child does not need that kind of loveless environment,then you can now call him and agree you both go your different ways. Make sure you return the dowry he paid on your head so that there will not be anything whatsoever tying you to him any longer.For 7 years you have single handedly taking care of your son,You have tried.

Anonymous said...

This is sad. I know of a neighbour who went tru similar ordeal. Her husband ( very much handsome than her) traveled with his friends abroad for greener pasture. After 2years, the friends came back with pictures of her husband ( lying lifeless in a coffin). Meanwhile they have 3 boys.

She( my neighbour) feels there's a foul play somewhere. According to her when they newly wedded, friends and ppl around always ask if she is her husband's mother(judging from thier wedding pix, the man is very light skinned and handsome compared to her who looked way older than him).

Upon hearing the news of her husband's sudden death while crossing the border from her father in-law. She said the way they were even breaking the nees ti her looked suspecious,she sensed immediately that there was something fishy. She asked to see his dead body,they said he was buried over there,she asked for other evidence but they had nothing to show. She said the next thing she did was to take all her children to her sister's house in Enugu and traveled back to her in-law's village the next day and called her father in-law and mother in-law and when they came out surprised about the sudden visit, she handed them some money( according to her she said she told them that was her bride price) and also gave the the wine she was carrying. And without looking back she left. They were shocked and uptil date she has not heard from her husband.

Uptil now she believes they made up that story. Cos she knee her husband just married her just to make babies. That he didn't really show her love when they got married. All he says is ' dis my friend said I'm younger than u' he was just abusing her emotionally and she feels he has remarried over there. She's just so bent on this her belief ans I don't know how to convince her otherwise.


Poster...I'm not suggesting this is d case with ur husband. I just feel he has met a another woman who has promised to help him with green card or something and dis woman is just so strict with him and dats why he doesn't pick ur calls at times. Time will reveal the whole truth. Meanwhile, live your life to the fullest. You only live once.

Dukestar said...

I know of a situation where a lady had a son for a man and a similar scenario played out.
She waited for eleven years and the man eventually returned.
The last time I checked,they were still married and living together.
The best thing the poster can do is to continually seek God's face if she's a person of faith.God can direct her to take the right/best decision.

sandra alex said...

He doesn't even need the child becos he has got other children from his white wife. NNE please move on. This life is just one.

Zikora said...

My dear, the handwriting is so clear on the wall. 7yrs may not be too long for a husband who doesn't have papers but who shows you and your son that he cares and that you are in it together. Not having legal documents should not be an excuse to ignore his supposed wife and son. Not having money should not make him reject your calls or make his only child suffer. From the little I can interpret from your chronicle, his mind is somewhere else. It might not be a woman but he now sees you as a liability. I don't know your educational background. If no better job than the one you are doing is not coming up, can you learn something like fashion and designing. I don't mean cut and join but real design? This platform can promote your skills. What of hair dressing, making small chops, hair assessories? Men love women who are creative. We all may not work in big companies but we can make a difference where we are. Can you pray? Do you think only men and women of God can pray for you? God answers prayers my dear.
Your parents are ashamed because they don't know if you are married or a single mum and as such they vent their anger on you and your son. There is still time to invest in yourself. Get up and keep moving. It is not going to be easy but with perseverance and discipline you will make it. Why at it, talk to his father and hear from him. He paid your bride price. His answer will tell you more. Invest in yourself before looking for another man and when you find one, don't hide anything from him. Before you return the bride price, talk to your parents and in-laws, try talking to your husband one more time on a serious note, then take a decision from the depth of your heart. Remember, you have all you need to succeed. It may look different from others but that's why you are unique. There is no shame in a decent job or skill. Humility will take you a long way. Be brave sister! Pray until something happens!

Anonymous said...

my dear that man moved on years back, you better return bride price and move on, man where don marry for that side with kids self, and the family that would have encouraged him to take care of you guys no even like you. Pls move on

Anonymous said...

i have an aunty who was a banker,when she got married, she was like 37 years old,took in immediately and had a still birth,na so the husband waka go abroad for over five years now and he's not back,i don't even know if they are still married,she doesn't wear the ring again and the man was rich so i don't understand why he went a broad.Sometimes i tell myself,at least if the Baby survived she will have a living hope and she could train the child alone too.

Anonymous said...

Wow this is exactly my story in my first marriage except God helped block my womb so no kids involved. I went thru hell, typing it here will be like repetition cos this poster just summarized it. My dear move on, i did and i'm happily married with kids and the abroad that seemed like heaven to him,i now visit like say e dey my backyard,no big deal at all. Pls move on,time waits for no one, i will like to reach you and help as much as i can but how can i do that?

Anonymous said...

I know an Aunty that same thing happened...if u see poverty ehhh hmmm.she kept fighting to survive with 2 kids..13 yrs later he just showed up with US passport ooo.tbat he was sorry bla bla bla in fact my Aunty said she no do.My mum called her to one corner that u have suffered too much and as u did not marry another person and u waited all these years pls it's time to enjoy and the storm is over.infact short of the story she is a citizen now ooo,She left in 2008 she stays in Ohio.infact I stayed with her last year to birth my child.the man has a good company in the US if u see the kids wow wow wow.u see ehhh she waited it worked...though am not saying u should wait oo.cos each it's own.

Anonymous said...

I remember my neighbour, they had three kids and the wife was pregnant for the fourth before the husband left. Eventhough she wasn't that poor because she has been the one taking care of the family and they have been managing, she complained she hardly heard from the husband and nothing came from him. She had to always beg his husband's siblings to convince him to come back. after 12 years the man came bk to Nigeria and with nothing too. I pitied for them eehh that was in 2013. But all of a sudden, since this year he has already bought 2 SUV's and is building this gigantic house close to the same street. Nobody knows what happened. They are living happily now.

It all depends. Sister forget about the divorce till there is someone there to marry you. Just concentrate on getting something better doing. Try to stop calling. Just move on and only divorce him when there is someone serious. Pretend you are not married to him. Just move on. If you have a suitor, fine you can accept because its obvious u tried already.

Anonymous said...

Adadioramma missed her how abi you just want to comment under her. She's been here everyday so I don't understand. Does your 'missing' have another meaning???

enoma osaigbovo said...

Anonymous ,abeg which one be buy better powder?

Balogun maxwell said...

Nigeria of now adays

baba cool said...

So she is a disabled person that needs a man to take care of her? Women like you is the reasons men mistreat women. All your perception of a man is burden carrier while the only thing you bring to the table is your overused pussy. A man isn't your ATM Chika try and work, he wasn't born a slave for you neither is he your creator. Experience dignity in Labour and stop being a liability in exchange for your privates. Nnugo

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...