Hmmmm......
MARRIED TO A CHRONIC CHEAT
I married a chronic Cheat. I recently went through my hubby 's phone and the things I saw shocked me. This man is flirting with upto 5 girls. He sends them money, takes them out and stuff like that. His phone is always passworded but this time he forgot to lock it and I saw his chats.
This man has not for once sent me money. Always complaining of being broke. I earn well and take care of basically all the needs of the house without help from him. The phon he is using was bought by me. He even collects money from me almost every week with promise to pay back which he doesn't pay.
I have gathered some proofs to show him but I dont know when to because i know he will change for a few days and go back to his ways.
WOW!!!......it sounds like he has been cheating and apologising and you have been forgiving him......first off is that you need to stop giving him money to furnish his cheating lifestlye....You need to stop sponsoring the house 100 percent.if he has money to give his women, he should have money for the house..I know you cannot do anything about his wayward lifestyle but you can make it really difficult for him...Or aint you scared of catching STDs?
Time to stop complasining and start acting!
You're the one enabling him, when you practically took over the finances of the house, what else do you want him to be doing with his own money? E be like say na you use your money marry him, you're even asking how to go about it 🙄🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteJust give him more money, or better still let your company be paying directly into his account 🤨🤨🤨🤨
*Larry was here*
Thank you oh
DeleteHe practically has nothing to do with his money than to cheat
I once had a neighbor who was always cheating on his woman, and she had a man that really liked her, she decided to have kids for the other man, one day she opened up to her boyfriend that the 2 kids were his, the man secretly got her a house and both of them eloped. My neighbor was more than shocked, the guy became so sober that we were all scared for his life. I met the woman sometime ago and she looked so radiant, she opened up to me on what she got tired of enduring from my neigbor, she and her husband have been married now for 8yrs and my neighbor still won't move on.
Delete15:39
DeleteHere we go again on paternity fraud justification.
We mostly seek to present it as REVENGE.
It is not revenge.
It is plain wickedness.
It is adultery also plus the additional acts of putting children and other parties in potentially challenging circumstances.
All types of Marriage laws in Nigeria have remedies for the innocent spouse of an adulterous spouse.
Yes, even customary law marriages permit a spouse to leave the marriage when the other spouse cheats.
Statutory marriages impose even stiffer penalties for adultery.
We should encourage the full application of the laws of marriage rather than insinuating and hinting at paternity fraud each time adultery is complained about.
You actually turn him to a baby boy (AKA tata)
DeleteStop giving him money let see how he will cope with his wayward lifestyle..
I doubt if you can do that oo
Cos with the look of things is as if nah you love am pass
And tomorrow u blame a woman that refuses to support her man! Life is just not understandable
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIt's like cheating is not a deal breaker for you o. You condoned his cheating ways na. This says a whole lot "....I don't know when to because I know he will change for a few days, and go back to his ways". He even collects money from you (to give his side chicks). Ok na.
ReplyDeleteCo sign @Blue pen🖊️
ReplyDeleteTime to stop enabling him is now. And please, get yourself female condoms.
ReplyDeleteFollow stella advice, those of you sponsoring cheating partner how are doing it please?
ReplyDeletePoor men still cheating! Lols broke thing
ReplyDeleteAs a man, I honestly do not understand the rationale behind why married men cheat. If the poster doesn't deny her husband sex, why does he cheat? It will never make sense to me.
ReplyDeleteMen who cheat always contract STDs. Is it worth it?
Sex makes me lethargic, like I feel extremely weak after intercourse and I need a day or two to replenish the energy I lost. Don't all men feel the same way? Am I the only one who considers sex an energy-sapping task and therefore not something to engage in with different girls?
If you have no children move on. Diseases and using your money to maintain these women is the ultimate slap in the face. How you going to go out and labour and the money that is supposed to secure the family’s future is being spent on philandering ventures. My dear, you found out for a reason, perhaps God likes you. Like yourself enough to trust that better is possible. You obviously cannot quench his appetite with him working 5 women.
ReplyDeleteIf you have children together and cannot easily move on, or wrapped up in some cultural situation that prevents you from going, then put a plan in place for your future. I honestly would secure my own assets in my own name. You can put a small business together, get rental properties for rental or simply build a retirement home for seniors and run it so you have something to bring money in for your later years. If you tell him money is tight with you and stop giving him money you will have more for your future. But realize that you are not a couple just two ppl living together. Your marriage is only on paper.
All well said.
DeleteMr. Mann
Had it been it was still in a courtship she noticed all these I will suggest she should move on. Such relationship is kinda draining, from what she described up there is like she is all alone in that marriage, while her husband goes out there to enjoy with other women.
DeleteAnon 15: 23 weldone, I love your response. Poster consider this advice.
DeleteIt’s like you’re married to your employee
ReplyDeleteYou’re just paying him to stay here. Don’t confront him. Confront yourself. Let you mr younger self speak to your current self and ask her if this is she planned her life. Is this person you planned to be. A person that pays a man to stay married to her
Stop giving him money and taking care of the home. It’s a mans job to be responsible for the home and not you.it does not matter that you earn well. Stop giving him money. You don’t need to show him the proofs just stop enabling him.
ReplyDeleteIt is both married partners jobs to take care of their home.
DeleteIn these hard times, it would amount to sheer punishment for working couples to leave all home care finance on the husband or the wife.
Even in the olden days or agrarian times, wives contributed to feeding of the family.
So this Poster should STOP giving her husband money and should stop taking care of their home fully because the man is not ...
She should call for a meeting. Confront him with the facts and ask for sharing of the bills.
If he is not working, he should get a job.
Something appears to be missing from the chronicle anyway.
Very bizarre behaviour by the man.
Even if Poster married him for good Sx as some women do, what she has now is assurances of unsafe Sx.
So what is the gain in the marriage
That's an irresponsible behaviour from him. Stop caring the bills of the house 100%. You're to support him and not become his head.
ReplyDeleteGod have mercy. Jesus.
ReplyDeletePlease stop giving him your hard earned money.
Let him take up 50% of the bills in the house.
Sit him down with your findings, vet your anger out and if his remorseful and willing to change his ways, please forgive him.
If you are lucky to have responsible and a good man these days, cherish him.Almost all the marriage issue here is either cheating or domestic violence.Good that you can take care of yourself. He has never given you money but he spends on other women.
ReplyDeleteYou called him a chronic cheat, even if you show him the receipt will that change him?!
Stella has said it all, It seems to me you have already accepted this lifestyle of his. you started with he is a chronic cheat, not like you are suspicious, then you said... you don't know when to confront him. Really? and that's cos you know that after you do, he will get remorseful and after a while he is back at it. Well, I believe that when you are tired of him, you know what to do not come here for advice of when to confront him with your proofs.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Stella; please you need to find a way to stop or reduce paying household expenses and bills. It will require some discipline on your part but it can be done. Cut off unnecessary expenses, you can even consider doing 1-0-1 for the adults. I also think you should consider protection; it’s not just HIV one should be weary of. There are other viral STDs wey no get cure eg herpes and HPV. Me I no fit shout abeg. So sorry you are going through this.
ReplyDeleteHow can your husband be working and you're footing most of the bills in the house? Virtuous woman abi
ReplyDelete! Even if you earn more, let the man contribute financially to the upkeep of the home. Stop forming miss independent. At least, if you can't stop his cheating ways, you can save yourself from financial exploitation.
Stop funding the house 100% just do the ones that concerns you and ask him to bring the remaining, if he doesn't, make everybody dey like that
ReplyDeleteNawa for ndi i must stay married and retain the Mrs title, you are still asking us how to go about it 😂? Madam please keep giving him money, more money and more money you hear!!
ReplyDeleteStory of pick me women. After doing everything for a man, you'll find out he's using you to finance other women. I bet you he didn't start this behavior now but you thought you could change him. Continue.
ReplyDeleteSingle ladies, if you like, no shine your eyes.
It's time to stop funding his lifestyle, leave some responsibilities to him.
ReplyDeleteThe foundation of a union matters alot.Why must couples password their phones?What are they hiding?if you love me enough to make me your wife/hubby, then you should be open to me.There shouldn't be secrets of any kind.
ReplyDeleteCommunication is key.he needs to tell you why he doesn't find you attractive anymore that he has to keep several ladies out there and also spending money on them.his careless actions and lifestyle can destroy your home. This,he needs to understand.
If he still doesn't change,i will advise you separate from him for a while.if he really loves you, that will change his actions and make him more responsible to his family.
You women will keep on encouraging grown men to cheat or misbehave and still complain. How can you shoulder mire bills in the house, how can you not ask your husband to make his contribution in the house, how can you nit demand for upkeep money on daily or monthly basis.
ReplyDeleteWeather you earn well or not please never you foot all the bills, if you foot all thr bills without involving the man he will use his money on his side chickens.
If you will listen to no need to confront gin with what you saw, keep your evidence down and wait till someday when something else will.come up but fo not use this to confront him. Your husband will cover up, beg you and if you change from there he will understand. But if you can ignore him and reduce your salary to minimal amount so that he will have yo understand that bills are meant to be shared.
Have a heart to heart discussion with your husband, telling him how your salary has been slashed or fake a loan of bug amount that you need to pay back a huge amount every month. With that you tell him you both will have to share thr family bills so that he can wake up from his enjoyment. Never fight over his cheating habit but use wisdom to stop encouraging his eye attitude.
Just like what Stella's said it's time to stop complaining and start acting!
ReplyDeleteI spot an enabler who just needs to vent. You should all save your advice.
ReplyDeleteWe always ignore the red flag from the beginning .
ReplyDeletePoster whatever you decide think it twice and węll before you implement it.
ReplyDeleteyou are the one in the marriage you know what to do.
How can you be taking care of the home 100percent when you have a healthy man that can go and work and find money ? It is you women that enable all these lazy cheating men . Stop giving him money , if he has money to cheat, he should have money to cater for his family too.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Baboni.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, these signs were there before you ventured into the marriage, but you ignored them or felt he'd change. Sigh 🤦 we always do this
It'll only take God's Mercy to change him now. You should stop giving him money.
Men can stain someone's white. This is just very traumatizing
ReplyDeleteThe moment you start shouldering responsibility, they start misbehaving. Watch very well, it's those women that don't contribute in the home that their husbands take care of the most. Make your money but never you do the strong and independent woman thing, they don't value it .
ReplyDeleteNne,you are too weak.and you over love this man.advice yourself please
ReplyDeleteSpiritual priest from the USA priestlevenospell @ gmail.com ,has help me to restore my marriage when my husband ask for a divorce just because he meet another lady outside but after the help of Priest Leveno my marriage become a happy marriage again i want everyone in such situation to contact him and get helped there is still trust and reliable spell caster out there
ReplyDelete1* love spell
2* win a man or woman heart
3* Ex back spell.
priestlevenospell @ gmail.com