OPEN TO WISE COUNSEL
Good day Stella. Please help me post.
Before marriage I never really knew much about bedbugs. I'd heard about it but I'd never seen it.
About a year or 2 after marriage, I noticed some small things that looked like tiny roaches on the bed, pillows and duvet.
I called my husband's attention to it. He was the one that pointed out that they were bedbugs. He acted so shocked and was asking where they could have come from. I remembered I'd been seeing them at his parents house. Like they are so many. I remember thinking to myself that I'd never seen so many "weird looking" roaches in one place. His parents house is infested.
They are on the walls, on the floor, crawling in broad day light. So why was he pretending like he doesn't know where they came from? Anyway that night I did my research and found a fumigator.
We were bug-free for a while. I begged this man to encourage his people to fumigate their house. Because I know my in-laws. They read unnecessary meanings to everything I do.
If I dare try to fumigate on my own, they will misread my intentions and walk the fumigator out. For some reason they are living peacefully with the bedbugs. They have never tried to fumigate. And these bedbugs keep coming back to my house because my husband spends time in his parents place everyday after work. I can't keep spending money to fumigate when the primary source is there.
Anytime I bring up fumigating my in-laws, my husband turns it into a fight. He doesn't want to accept that the issue is from his parents house. He keeps saying bedbugs are everywhere.
It could have gotten to our house from anywhere. I can't continue like this. Having bedbugs is both physically and mentally torturing. If you've not experienced it, you won't understand. How do I bring a lasting solution because I'm beginning to develop a lot of resentment towards my husband and in-laws. Please I'm open to wise counsel.
Thank you
My skin crawled reading this cos bedbug don show me shege before...Please comot for that house until he is ready to do the needful and please dont pack anything with you oh cos the bedbugs will follow you...That fumigation thing is temporary cos new eggs always hatch......You need to burn everything and buy new furniture.......Gosh!!....I remember freaking out when i killed a bug and it was all blood....
Bedbugs are NOT everywhere. If he goes to spend time there, when he comes home, let him leave his stuff outside o. You can't be fumigating everytime. How are they even comfortable living with bedbugs sef.
ReplyDeleteI didn’t even know it still exists. Poster this is a serious matter o, don’t allow your husband make you see it as common
DeleteVery annoying creature!
ReplyDeleteYou'll have to keep talking to him noni. That thing is so embarrassing ehhh! Lord have mercy!
I was the crying bv that wrote about the infestation of bedbugs couple of weeks ago. I used ddforce and haven't seen any again. You need to see how I turned my room upside down and threw out my bed frame. To think all I saw and counted wasn't up to 20 but I felt sick inside. I had nightmares and dreaded going home. I'm going to spray again tomorrow. In fact, it's always like giving my bedroom a bath. I can imagine how you feel poster. Your in-laws are not okay o. Bug walking freely on walls? That's invasion! Don't have anything to say cos if it were me, I will invite fumigators to their house and I must achieve my aim no matter what.
DeleteYou shouldn't have married him when you visited his parents house and saw how untidy it was. They knew you were coming and could not even pretend to tidy up their space to welcome their guest hian
ReplyDeleteThat should tell you that they are not tidy folks, and also let you know how your husband's hygiene will be, a reflection of his family. He also doesn't have a problem with it, since he goes to his parents' house all the time and sees it there and does nothing about it. He is only pretending to complain because you are complaining about it.
The day I visited an ex, I rested my hand on the arms of the chair. The arms of some of the chairs were torn, but I overlooked it because I was doing love. But later I thought to myself, why didn't these people place a cover cloth on their chairs since they knew a guest was coming? Shame suppose catch them small and compose a little. Some minutes later, my hands itched badly, and I couldn't control it.i really scratched ehn By the time I got home,my hands were still itching me badly, only to look at my hand and see that the area was swollen and reddish with marks like ant bites all over my skin. That was how I remembered one day we hung out, and he was stylishly trying to scratch his thighs through his jeans. I just broke up with him.
But if it were me, I would have avoided this your husband, just by seeing his parents' environment.
No vex, don't even have any advice to give you sef.
Hmmmm. Poster, except you both relocate to another state, that's the only way he will stop going there daily, and bringing bed bugs back.
ReplyDeleteI'm just so surprised his parents are comfortable with that bl.ood suck.ing parasite. That not only stings, but can cause many harm. Hope they don't have a spiritual affiliation to it ooo.
Hmm.
Did you do a thorough investigation of his background?
These days that people can worship anything, hope that isn't their god ooo
.
Sadly, you leaving his house, I feel it won't stop him... Just enter prayer.
You need to solve this problem as soon as possible. Try everything possible to have your husband listen to you. Pamper him, cry, shout if possible involve someone but by all means get it sorted. I can't even explain how I feel reading this. Bedbugs sock blood. Get it sorted fast
ReplyDeleteOmg this is crazyyy. Those bedbugs bite! You’ll have to trash the bed completely because they stick in there. But first you’ll need to get someone that your husband listens to so he or she can talk to him. Their parents place needs major help and work. They’ll need to trash a lot of things and clean out that place completely. Those mor*fuka bedbugs are stubborn and hard to get rid of.
ReplyDeleteThis can actually break a marriage because to me, your husband doesn’t care about your wellbeing! All these fragile egoist men are hard to convince and deal with. I have one at home and ended up separating from him! It was an exhausting and stressful marriage! You’ll need to make a decision solely for you because there’s no way you’ll continue to live in that environment. Did you not notice before you married him? Because that’s actually a deal breaker for some women o. Me I cannot deal with bedbugs at all.
Also, this current situation shows the underlying problem in your marriage. He doesn’t really care about you and doesn’t listen to your opinion. Such men are difficult to live with. A man that cares will immediately talk to his parents and tell them he won’t come over or give them money unless they do something about it! But NO, he’s the one adding to your stress level.
You’ll have to make a decision because a child or newborn cannot live in that environment at all. You may need to leave temporarily to let him know this is serious! If he doesn’t change, then you don marry one chance man and you might need to make some hard decisions. It’s already stressful enough in naija, so you can imagine adding this problem to your daily life and dealing with a stubborn man. Ahh no o. 😯🙁 you’ll end up becoming a shadow of yourself and question your self worth. You need to let him know you’re really serious about this because there’s no way you’ll be comfortable in your own house/home. I wish you best of luck! 🤞🏾
And I pray he listens. Ps: talk/pray to God to soften his heart about this issue, especially if he’s not a bad guy in other aspects of the marriage.
Some people will just be stressing you unnecessarily. I’m sure his family will be happy to have him fumigate their house sef (who likes living with bedbugs) but his ego won’t even allow him agree to this.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the next time you see bugs in ur house, leave the house for him and only come back when he has treated it and the cause.
Those things breed wild and are hard to get rid of. I am shocked that your husband doesn’t care about it, but if he grew up surrounded by them then he is used to living like that.
ReplyDeleteNasty and unhygienic ppl are not of my interest. Imagine your husband arguing with you because you want to live in a vermin free environment and wish to help his parents live vermin free too. Your husband is not ready for adult life and making tough decisions. So, he is going to be intimate with you on the bedbug bed and wait for a bug to crawl into his peen hole before he takes it serious. Please take a full examination of your marriage to see if you are equally yoked. Cause his ppl seem to not respect you and his behaviour is high questionable.
When you married from bedbug infested family what were you thinking huh
ReplyDeleteYou didn’t know that he wouldn’t see anything wrong in it being in his household
Madam fumingate your household and stop whining
Long ass chronicle on something you made a pact with on the day you agreed to marry them
How you women expect men to change in 2 years or so when they’ve been that same and brought up in same ways in 30years or more is baffling and really low IQ to say the least.
You see his household,yea that bedbug infested household yes is where your children will call paternal home. They will go for holidays there,yes they will sleep there
You see your husbands parents will be the people your children and your grand children will refer to as home.
I don’t understand why women will see rubbish and jump into it not bearing in mind that their children will come from decisions
You see your family,yes your own nuclear family will always have bed bugs one way or the other
Once your husband go home….bedbug
Once you go visiting….bedbug
Once your children visit them….bedbug
Once your father-in-law come …..bedbug
Once your mother in law come …,bedbug
Just go and start fumigating company
You will need it
This is not a God forbid situation this is reality
You see that bedbug ehn,if you bring it up to argue with your husbad ehn,you will choose between him and bedbug
You saw it in courtship and kept quiet
It’s in marriage you want to remove it
Abena ahhhh
Abena ahhhh
Abena ahhhh
Abena don’t move this way….
Upeh
It is difficult to get rid of them. But they can be gotten rid off.
ReplyDeletePresent the matter in an acceptable manner. Check how you have been presenting it. He will feel like it's an attack to his parents.
Without mentioning the bed bugs you can suggest fumigation, some things that are no longer in use done away with.
May God give you wisdom required at this time.
You didn't mention if your husband has siblings. Perhaps the bedbugs are his siblings that's why he and his parents don't want them gone. You never know 🤣🤣🤣.
ReplyDeleteBut OP come o! Dem say na for better for worse. How come your own come be for better for 'worster'? E don set for you be dat. 😂😂
Now for a solution.
You have to be smart about it. You don't necessarily need to hire a fumigator. There are sublimable tablets you can buy to kill these bugs. You will use style and be visiting your in-laws house and be dropping the tablets codedly in hidden spots around the house. You will repeat as often as possible.
Sorry to say though but I think your husband and his folks are a dirty lot.
That thing dealt with me in the school hostel eeh😏
ReplyDeleteYou need to leave that space Asap!
This chronicle just gave me so much goosebumps. How can someone be comfortable living with bedbugs 🤷🏿♀️. God abeg o. Poster, it is well with you.
ReplyDeleteJesus Christ! This is separation-worthy in my books.
ReplyDeleteHow can a mentally sound human live comfortably in a house filled with bedbugs? I can’t believe what I’m reading. Normal people fumigate if they ever encounter one single bedbug and your husband is saying nonsense. Abi is his family using it to do jazz?
Shey the thing no dey bite una ni?
Fumigation is a Herculean task on its own and to now add stubborn spouse and in-laws, omo, that’s like witchcraft mixture.
ReplyDeleteIf only your husband can join in the fight with you, because bedbug infested house is like a war zone
Oh God, Madam, I feel your pain. It's even more horrendous when it doesn't even bother your husband. He may be reading a different meaning to it, like you don’t want him to spend time with his family.
ReplyDeleteMy sister, you have to leave what they'll say and do the fumigation by yourself o.
Except you don't interact with them or go to their house, else na to leave the marriage for them.
Things I can't stand in the house, roaches, rats, flies, mosquitos,spider, wall geko, ants, bedbugs is even on another level.
That's why I don't think I can leave this abroad laidis o
Truly it is only one who has experienced this that can really understand. Their presence just keeps you disturbed everytime and their bite? Oh no!
ReplyDeleteFumigating the house really doesn't do much like Stella said, because the chemicals hardly finish off the eggs. The eggs later hatch and the cycle continues.
This one involving inlaws is really dicey and I don't even know what to suggest
This made my skin to crawl. I hate those creatures, your in-laws probably see them as family members ,if not they would have done something about it.
ReplyDeleteThe problem here is your husband doesn't see it as big deal, he's used to having them around.
Bedbugs show me and wifey shege pro max. Sincerely, i can not comprehend how they all disappeared from our home. Thank you GOD.
ReplyDeleteJeez 😱😱😱, Pls bed bugs are not every where, Tufiakwa.
ReplyDeleteI hate those things, You should talk to your husband, I'm sorry, but your in-laws are not clean people at all, how can they live with those things.
See eeh, when you will know bed bugs are bad, is when you will carry one on your dress to an important occasion and it falls from your dress.It Happened to a lady where I worked before, She almost died that day. Very embarrassing 😳
Poster I really sympathize with you! I once went naked when I came home from my boyfriends house. I visited my boyfriend who was a police officer living in police barracks. I slept there for 3 days ooo. I was itching and all my body was red spots. I got home and removed my clothes before I entered my house ooo. I ended that relationship because the guy saw nothing wrong even when I showed him he pretended to be shocked. Abeg leave that marriage ooo What of if bedbugs enter your ears 👂 omo na OYO be your name.
ReplyDelete