Hmmmm......
THE ORPHAN
I am an orphan and was raised in an orphanage home and I'm financially stable from proceeds I get from my little business and job....
I met my husband during a church crusade we attended from the home..
My sisters and brothers I am in a toxic marriage but i chose not to be the victim and I can't leave too because I have no family to rely on or call my own who I can leave my kids with.
My husband has this lady friend whom according to both of them circumstances didn't allow them marry, I think blood group issues or so and this issue has brought much more issues to my family.
One time I reported to him to his elder sister and she told me boldly that men are polygamous in nature and I should let him explore as long as he's providing my needs.
Secondly, she said men and whoever their friends are deserve respect, because one time I called his lady friend and she asked me to call the lady back and apologize because my husband felt like I disrespected him and his partner.
I've accepted fate but currently now I am not on talking terms with my husband but he does everything he's supposed to do, he subscribes my phone, he sends me money if and when needed, the other day he came back i didn't cook and i told him i don't have the strength to cook, he went to the eatery and got us food and even added shawarma.
My people , I forgot to add that the one time I called his girlfriend to challenge her because my husband stopped coming back home, the girl gave her conditions that I should maintain peace and not get pregnant again and that if not that there's no solution to what separated them, she would have given him his babies and not me. She even said, they only separated and didn't fight.
Honestly I need coping strategies please, I'm even thinking of relocating abroad but how will I cope with no direct family of mine.
OH MY GOD!!!!....you are in a hostage situation and not a marriage!........So because you are an orphan he decided to treat you like this? I think you were chosen to just birth him babies and not for love and I am sure you agreed to marry him cos you wanted a stable home which you have...My advice to you face your kids and give them a good environment to grow up...You already know he will not leave this lady, so i advise that you just go about as if you dont know that she exists..If he doesnt come back home, just ignore him and go about your life as if he too does not exist...He will still send money for the kids dont worry....Relocating abroad with kids is not easy and needs the understanding of a spouse oh...Dont let anyone make you think it is easy....Stay where you are if you are being cared for financially...Ignore his girlfriend and since you have hid number, play their game with them and call her to salute her...LOL
You already know he doesnt love you so this info should help you handle things better.....I wish i could hug you...Wishing you all the best.
Toooorrrrrrr !!!!
ReplyDeleteehhh, another one. JESUS please fix it.
ReplyDeleteSince he's doing what he's supposed to do, ignore them if you know you can't leave, treat them as ghosts, but if I were you, I will never stay in that kind of loveless marriage.
ReplyDeleteYou called her? 🤦♀️. Why do some women do this. Face your hubby and leave his partner alone.
ReplyDeleteIt is not wrong to call the other woman so long as insulting words are not told the woman. Some women do not know the man is married. Some women have been told convicting words that caused them to change and free the man especially in cases where the man would ordinarily go out with any other woman.
DeleteYou may also be surprised to know that men call or serve polite notice by other means too about their wayward wives contrary to the proverbial stereotyping of men.
I hope you did not call the lady to apologize. Your husband and his sister are not okay in the head.
ReplyDeleteKai, some of you are suffering in your marriages.
Since your husband is not violent towards you, I would advice you to stay put. What were you thinking calling the other lady, na you give her body see finish o.
Consider yourself and hubby flat mates. As painful as it is, do not complain anymore, stop being moody and act like it doesn't matter what he is doing. If you still want more kids, by all means get pregnant o.
As for the stupid woman, pray to God to judge her and give it time.
So God should judge only the woman? What about the man she exchanged vows with?
DeleteHe doesn't love you then stop loving him too..
ReplyDeleteGive birth to the number of kids you want, since he takes care of you and the kids..
Ignore them completely,face your life..
Get a business and be busy,STOP calling her,also call Ur husband only when its necessary,stop disturbing him, looking for his attention..
She's the one wasting her time and energy on a married man,who won't marry her and she will forever remain a shadow..
You have God, even without anyone God will not abandon you and will judge them at the right time..
Take care of yourself,stop thinking about them,eat well,look Good,smile all the time and DRESS WELL..my dear make yourself happy..
Hmmm. Sometimes I don't get it. You went fur a companion but years down the line you are told to fsce your children. This transition can't be easy for anyone. But why are humans like this by the way. You leave your wife and be famzing side chick more. God Abey ooo
ReplyDeleteYour man has two wives
ReplyDeleteI’m only annoyed that he didn’t say this before the marriage
It’s not fair to you at all
Why not break them up in the spirit
It’s not every time you accept a rival
I do believe God can put them asunder for you and I don’t even think I have plenty faith like that
But still pray that Gos should remove her from his life seeing as you need him to survive
I would leave but one size doesn’t fit all
Poster its unfair how you are being treated. Focus on your children and ignore him, it won't be easy.
ReplyDeleteIt is a tough situation my dear but I will advise you to ensure that you have a private saving - did you hear me ? Private saving because this marriage is not guarantee this man can still walk away one day.
ReplyDeleteDon't have children that you will not be able to take care of if yawah gas.
I wish you well
Does the fact that one is an orphan means one should take this kind of insult, who were those that stood as your parent when u wedded, i believe the orphanage home matron or so, please you have a family, inform them about the issue first before you make your decision.since his own people or sister aint thinking logically. what an insult you are wnduring becaus3 you are an orphan or because of children or because of the things he should do as a man ordinarily that is becloding you as if he is doing something out of the blues? is it until you are infected with STD before you run for your life ? its either you go down on yor knees and keep praying harder or you separare for your sanity sake and peace of mind. Both of them are only telling you that you are only good for making babies Nonsense!
ReplyDeletePoster, just follow Stella's advice. Focus on yourself and kids.
ReplyDeleteTechnically, there is a solution to their sickle cell issue...IVF. The embryos that are AA and AS will be the only ones implanted.
ReplyDeleteThe side chick is clearly wasting her time. Before she knows it, decades have passed and only then will she realise that she has missed out on having her own family. The man is the only winner here! He gets to have his cake and eat it too.
Your start in life wasn't ideal. You didn't get to experience familial love...and you clearly still haven't, with this man you call your husband. I would advice you to leave and find happiness elsewhere. Find your own "love of a lifetime".
Let him take care of his responsibilities like he has been doing. Create a custody schedule with him. Ensure things are in order...but let him go where his heart wants to be.
What a life
ReplyDeleteSo sorry sis
Dear poster, your story breaks my heart. There is One who fills the void in the human heart. I don't know your religious inclination but I will like to advice you to see God at work in your life. Go through the story of your life and thank God for every detail: good, pleasant, painful, unpleasant. Even in the seeming trials of life, God is at work in each of our lives. I am a believer and will counsel you as my faith permits. Look for the book Knowing The God of Unparallelled Goodness. The author is Zacharias Tanee Fomum, a second book is Inner Healing by the same author. Both books will help you see the hand of God in your life. Do not dwell on how your supposed husband is treating you. Jesus is Alive and in Him you can find rest for your weary heart. May the God of mercy reach out to you and meet the needs which He alone can meet. Don't fight your rival or leave your marriage if the man is handling his responsibilities. God will sort you out in His time and in His way. I wish you God's peace.
ReplyDelete