Read the following and lets discuss .
Why do older men lust after under aged girls?..its sick!
Some married men even abuse their very young house helps and get them pregnant.
This trend is very common but like the writer said,some families find it a taboo to discuss sex and leave this little girls with a very vulnerable mindset.
Parents,please educate your girl child so that they can come to you when someone tries to convince them to off their panties!
Some lady who wants to be anonymous sent this in....before and after you read,please renew your mindset and educate your girl child,don't let someone help you!
'''........ After reading the DV story I had a feeling to send u my story. I am not a good writer bt I hope u wl use my story to help girls in situation like mine.
Well, I don't know wat to call what I went tru bt believe me when a girl is violated she lives with it truout her lifetym. I grew up a in a family where we practically don't discuss personal issues, not that we fight amongst ourselves but its just like thatt. I can't remember my discussin 'personal issues wit any of my siblings talk less of my parents. The reason, I can't say. Unfortunately, immediately I got admitted in2 d university. (I was 15+ den) d devil sent someone to me to ruin my perfect lyf, my sisters broda-inlaw (abt 40yrs). Twas as if I was under a spell, he molested me in d disguise dt he was preparing me for my boyfriend so dt I will know how to treat him and be emotionally sound. Before I knew wat was going on, d violation became regular (abt 1year) and to make my situation worse I wasn't enjoying any part of it at all. I wanted to stop it bt couldn't. I had no one to talk to and my lyf was withering away at such young age. This wicked soul manipulated me so much I couldn't think straight, I do whatever he says and smile as though he was adding value to my life. I was becoming a nightmare to myself cos I was dt girl who will not have sex til I get married, infact I had no boyfriend truout secondary school. What will I do? My sisters I can't talk to, even if I do talk to dem dey will see me as d useless girl.
Then God sent an angel to me, my fiance. When he asked me out the can u believe I asked d wicked soul if I should say yes! Eventually I did say yes. My then boyfriend called me oneday and asked what was going btw me and d man. With shame and relief kindoff I confessed evrything to him. Within me I knew that was d end bt atleast I had said out my heavy burden. The nextday he said he wanted to see me I was scared bt I went to see him. He told me he was highly disappointed cos my innocent looks was a complete deceit, I cried my eyes out and told him how much I hate my life. That was d end cos he told me he was angry and sad bt happY I told him early cos most women will nt do dt. Can u believe dt was d end of my nightmare! Immediately he called d son of a bitch and got him off my bak though I was scared he was deceiving me. Today I am in a very peaceful and happy relationship with him to get married in the next 4 months after 5 years of courtship.
Stella, I wept typing this cos its something I am totally ashamed of. There are lots of girls out there that older men (especially) has played on their immature brain and are doing that which they are not supposed to. Please do something to help! Nt all girls are sluts! And to pple in dis situation I beg of u PLS don't keep silent cos it hurts and make u think of urself less important pls SPEAK OUT and seek for help!''
Most men are DOGS!!!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to ur story.
ReplyDeleteBorderline paedophilia. Sick.
ReplyDeleteThat's true... Then when horrible things start to happen to them later in life, they say its witches and wizards.. Foolish men, most of them are child molesters.. Its not news anymore... I feel your pain sis..
ReplyDeleteis a sad thing. Mothers shall encourage a very intimate relationship with their daughters
ReplyDeleteYes o.unfortunately most mothers do not encourage dat kain relationship.....me I was abused buh cldnt talk.nt lyk I ws threatened o buh my mum wsnt my pal....I was molested by my cousin wen I ws lyk 7...wen my parnts arnd,he wee alwys look 4 sumtn 2 kip my siblings busy....I remba 1 nyt,he askd my siblings 2 sit by d window nd count d numba of cars,okada nd buses passing d road.he den tried2 trap me in anoda room..I no gree o.I insisted I wntd 2 count wt dem...#lols#...anoda tym,my young uncle was arnd.whyl my uncle ws cookin,my cousin made my siblings sit in d kitchen wt my uncle nd gave 1 excuse to kip me in d room.he even tried lurin me wt biscuit den buh all he succeedd in doin was to make me hate biscuit dt period........I was sooo happy wen he left.v 4given hm o buh weneva I Ơ̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ hm,I jus wonder if he tinks av 4gottn..Am servin currntly.der ws a tym I wntd2 tel my dad buh I jus let it be sins we kukuma no dey d same town and my dad is lyk d only uncle he gat.....
DeleteThis reminds me of a man of 52 yrs dat tried molesting me( 25 years). He is married with kids buh his wife n kids lives abroad. He just wants me to be sleeping with him round d clock... Whoops...I ran away!
ReplyDeleteYour story is much better! I hope to share my story soon, but my writing skills is bad because am dyslexia
ReplyDeleteDear you should have been strong enougth to withstand him. am not saying you are weak but i think you gave in to this elderly man so easily like a weakling and am tempted to think he pampered you with soo much luxury and money. You could have reported him instead of allowing him to take so much advantage of you. Some people i believe use Juju that is why it good to be very prayerful as a young lady
ReplyDeleteWe all got advances from older men when we were younger like in our teens and still even now am 22, but we stood our grounds. As Girls what kind of strange characters don't we have coming on to us! Hun you should have known better than to be sleeping with your sisters brother inlaw.
But hey this reminds me of my own experiences. once got this useless oldman family friend telling me i should stop behaving like a kid course am grown up why just cause i refuse him sleeping with me. Duh! trying to make me feel less that never works with me, am a self confident gal. i just starred at him without saying a word thinking in my head Mr you are a *FOOL* an idiot a shameless he goat* and that is what he is.
And i say any old man who coaxes a young girl into sleeping with him IS a BIG SHAME AND DISGRACE HE- GOAT! THEY SHOULD BE LOCKED UP IN A SPECIAL MENTAL REHAB until he recovers. Nonsense!
Stella this is the first time i am going to comment on your blog. Although i am an avid reader. I enjoy the objectivity you force out of nigerians in their comments. Alas, u are forcing out a comment from a male reader. I have read mrs kays posts on dv. I have also read other posts and comments of abused women. This is what i have to say and im taking out of my experience. Do you ladies know how much you cause men to be abusive? This is how. Ladies are given the role of raising children but so many ladies abuse young male children. They use harsh words on them at that tender age. Many aunties abuse the young boys in their care. I was one of those young boys abused by my mum thats is verbally. I grew up hating females and wanting to get back at them. When i was old enough to have relationships i saw the female as a mere sex object nothing more. This felings started in my childhood as a result of the bad aunties and mum i had. Mind u my mum was good only that her abusive words hurt cause i was a sensitive child.What i am saying is that many abusive men are created by the bad mother figure in their lives. They grow up with so much resentment only to take out their pain on their babes or spouse. I am one of those men. The pain and hurt that women who should have shown love in the right way showed it wrongly. I love my girlfriend but sadly its the sex i enjoy and i verbally abuse her. I dont hit her but i verbally insult her. Many men have been damaged in their childhood by bad elderly women. Its no surprise that the men grow up bitter to now also turn on their wives,girl friends and young vulnerable girls. Please mothers among u show love to ur son and dont use abusive words on them. Men who beat their wives and women i agree are beasts but that beast was created by a woman when that man was young. You can find out about the lives of your husbands and boyfriends that always beat and verbally abuse you. They had terrible childhoods in the hands of people who should have cared and protected them. So next time when u come across an abusive man or a man that wants to take advantage of womenor young girls its probaly because when that man was young he too was abused by women. I was also abused by my mum's house girl. So ladies you see its not easy for people like me to love women wholeheartedly. I dont do men so i have to stick with you guys. Pls be objective in ur critisms and sit down and think about what i have said.
ReplyDeleteThe 1st step is knowing you have that issue, 2nd step is getting help. You need counselling so you don't damage that girl's self esteem. Pls understand that what goes around goes back around.. God help you as you start this journey
Deleteam sori 2 say this but u need help. Must ur girlfrnd suffer the mistakes of your mum? Think of it dis way: u eventually marry her n kip on with the abuse,she has children for u n takes it out on your son who in turn metes out punishment on his gf...and the circle continues. Y nt be the one 2 say no to DV? I was abused at 9 by my cousin n believe me it took God 4 me nt 2 hate men in general... God help us all
DeleteWen i hear things like dis, i feel bad, im married 2 a pastor who also exploited me as a young girl, thinking he was doing me a favour bt was sleeping wth my sis n i in d process. I still blame my mum cos if she had created an atmosphere to discuss wth us, this would never have happened, all of us kept thngs to ourselves, mumsie didnt allow any male friend anywhere close but the so called Pastor could come at anytime, how was i to know it was a game which of course he played well till after marriage. I hate myself as i type dis cos he s the most randy pastor i have ever known but pretends so well n holy. Lemmi save my story, wen i have time on my lappy, i ll send my story to u Stella, so we can all learn
ReplyDeleteThings are really happening.
ReplyDeleteAnon 5:46PM
ReplyDeletethose men need help counselling and prayer but they never open up. even proud to go seek for help.
end point is dv is totally wrong no mtter what.
My dad always told us he grew up in a home where his dad would always beat his mom at the least mistake. When he got older and got married to my mom he swore never to lay hands on her because what he witnessed his mom going through was a ugly. he never could hurt his wife because judging from what his mum passed through and from what i remember my m
everyone should learn to let go of the past.
Stella you are what a blogger should be and I hope you win that award. You address all areas which is good. I pray most women and girls will get empowered to address their weakness.
ReplyDeleteGod bless. I am so happy by the way. I am expecting. I know this is not the forum but I can't stop boasting of God'd work and faithfulness. After miscarriages and ectopic God has has blessed us. My sister's and brothers sometimes when we are going trials it is for God's work to be glorified.
Please believe Jesus and you will see his glory. So sorry for going off the topic. I can't stop boasting of God's work and faithfulness. May The Lord bless us and guide our ways.
I pray that our joy will be complete and at God's appointed time, my child will be delivered safe, healthy and beautiful.
DeleteThank you Stella for allowing me to share my testimony. May God bless you.xxx
You see Stella, its two ways! Grown Women also takes advantage of young boys. I am a Man close to 40 years now. When I was around 6-7yrs, a Lady of around 20 then, a family friend, usually called me "My Husband" then, took me to her home and molested me. I lived by that day memory through out my teenage years! I couldn't tell my Mum, because I was scared. I started relating with women late in life. I have since over grown the experience and happily married with kids. All am saying is that there older women that always take advantages of young males too. Parents don't be naïve, watch your male child's back too from Child molestation.
ReplyDeleteSex Education should be included in the Elementary and Highschool curriculum, sure that will help 70%.
ReplyDeleteFor me, the only way to nip this ish in the bud is for mothers to be closer to their daughters right from a tender age.
ReplyDeleteA mother ought to be her children's best friend. let your kids be free with you. some mothers are too harsh that their kids are scared to talk to them.
Men take advantage of younger girls when they see that they are naïve and can be exploited. when they see that they are really not close to their parents esp their mums.
how is this so? during the course of their interaction they must have asked the young girl of the nature of her relationship with her folks..it would seem like normal gist but they are scheming.
Men violate househelps and tell them that if you tell your madam I will kill you, I own the house, bla bla...
you see me, I have already thought my 4 year old daughter never to let anyone touch her bum-bum; that it is very bad. i told her never to let anyone wash her bum even me. ive taught her to do it herself. if anybody tries it, bite that person and scream as loud as possible. (we even practiced the bite sef, i asked her to bite me, and told her the degree of the bite..its has to be very painful)
thereafter report to me immediately.
every other day i ask while bathing her if anybody tried to (school or wherever)and repeat the caution above to her.
Na my own sex education i don start so, as she grows older, i explain further to the best she can comprehend at the age.
we live in a very terrible world!
=))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º=)) I gbadun dis ur method on ur lil gel ooo bloglord,am taking a cue mhennn e make sense well.infact I go add jara 4 my pikin own mk she bite d person hand tear off d flesh =))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º=)) e no concern me,useless molesters oshi.
DeleteI have taught my daughters same lesson Bloglord taught hers. Told them to also scream and tell any adult, if I cannot be immediately reached. When I was still in junior secondary, my best friend's elder brother used to put his hand in my pant. I couldn't stop him or even told anybody about it. When I think about it now, I just thank God he never penetrated me. I just cannot allow this to happen to my daughters.
DeleteAnon June 25, 2013 at 6:49 PM; big congrats.
ReplyDeleteStella women failing to accept that they too have a blame in the abusive men and men who exploit young females to satisfy their sexual lust. But stella no one wants to talk about how young males are abused in the hands of women who are meant to nurture them. For me thats where we should start dealing with the problem. Im talking out because i sought therapy to deal with the hurt and anger. I mentioned that i was abused when i was bout five years old by a female house help in my home in surulere. But till this day my mother doesnt now about it. Women are the the ones responsible for the way our men turn out to be.You are the ones who nuture us and all. For years i was an agressive human cause of the insults i received from my mum.I hated my aunties cause i felt they did nothing to stop the insults. For goodness i was just a kid. All be cause of what i suffered under my mum and my various aunties i was heading the way of an abuser. But none of you women want to take responsibilty for the abusive behaviour of men when it shows later on in their lives.Not knowing that you are influential in the way your little boy turns out later in life. The tongue has the power of life and destruction. When women use their tongues anyhow on their little boys it destroys them and makes them destructive men in future.
ReplyDeleteYou are right.
DeleteStella was expecting a healthy discuss but i got none. Its o.k. Nice job you are doing on your blog. Women the truth is men are what their mothers made them. Women are the most important people in the world cause their role is primarily to nuture and shape the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteWhich other healthy discuss again?? Abeg park well jor, if u havnt learnt anything from ppl's comment so far I wonder oh.
DeleteI was abused in primary school by one of our teachers then, I was in primary 2 or so, I was waiting for my cousin's to finish from extra class as they were in primary 5, this man called me into his office pulled my pants down and rubbed his whatever on mine,then he gave me 5naira n asked me not to tell anyone and if I did he was going to beat me.. I avoided that teacher for weeks till I stopped seeing him in school, I think he was exposed by someone can't rem so much.. I was really young and dint know nytin then, but if my mum had educated me about screaming when a man touched me and all, I wouldn't have gone through that phase atall.. I'm abt 23 done wit uni and set to get married, I have long gotten over it but parents should teach deir children these things early
ReplyDelete•amah•
Lmao. bloglord! what planet are you from?
ReplyDeleteI practically burst out laughing forgetting I am at the office.
you are right. Mothers should teach their kids about sex education as early as possible. Mothers should also bring up their male kids in a humble and God fearing manner not teaching them to be rude or mannerless towards the opposite sex. I have seen this happen before. A woman teaching her son never to let a girl stand up to him. Such kids grow up to become violent towards women.
I think there should be a topic for discussion on how mothers train their sons, coz these trends keep going on and on. Mothers should train their children equally with love and care and no preferential treatment for the sons. Boys get molested too not only girls, my fiance said that he was molested when he 10years old by a neighbour set to get married.
ReplyDeleteI feel so bad for what you went though but am glad you are out of it.
ReplyDeletePlease anyone who finds themselves in such a situation at say 13 plus
1. If they live with you then please tell an adult. It may be your mother, teacher or even sunday school leader. Do not keep it to yourself
2. Please do not accept any gift or cash from such beasts. In their rotten minds your accepting the gift is your expressing approval of their abuse.
3. Try and resist being alone with him in a room. If he sends for you and If you cant help it tell a trusted someone where you are going then tell that same person exactly what happened when you got there. Do you have a phone that is capable of recording? RECORD ALL PROCEEDINGS Did he sneak into your room? scream the house down, someone will hear and come. Or if you have a trusted adult relative, and a phone secretly text them to come to your room
Each time you are with him speak very loudly so people can hear whats going on, luckily many naija like amebor and they will intervene if they hear loud chatting or screams.
Record all events in a diary. The day he has an orgasm in you, take yourself to a hospital for more evidence. Keep those evidence for the perfect opportunity.
It may seem hard dear teenager but seriously you can fight for yourself.
Mena
Can you decide if these events can be termed as man snatching-> http://efemenaoreoluwa.blogspot.com/2013/06/can-you-decide-if-man-snatching-occured.html
I was molested by a neighbour whose son was of d same age with me. I shld hv been around 6yrs. I still see him sometimes n wonder if he thinks I hv forgotten. Am very vigilant n protective of my 7yr old daughter even wit my husband's brothers. My husband wonders y am not comfortable leaving her with them or is she nt their blood n I say hell no!! I trust no one. I hv bin thru a whole lot, am kinda strict with my kids but am still very playful n encourage them 2 b very open with me. Sometimes I even ask my kids any problem? Is there something u want to tell me? Or I tell them 2 ask me anything cos atimes some of these pple might not jus b touching d bum-bum yet but might b playful or trying to give them tins unnecessarily so if u as a parent is aware of such,it gives u room to stop such gestures. My kids whoever u r that gives them anytin,it must b presented 2 mummy n ur name mentioned.whether u r man or woman everyone is a suspect.
ReplyDeleteThese days under aged girls takes advantage of older men
ReplyDeleteAnd that includes your father!
ReplyDeleteI was a victim too...my father's servant use to dash me 5 naira and my mum no dey use eyez see were boys dey talk to us evn thou d person might b telln me anoda tin but nt askn me out..mothers shuld teach der children sex education..is nt gud to b strict to ur children..wen I hv chance I will gist stella
ReplyDelete