Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: PARENTS INTERFERENCE - My Fiance Has Postponed The Wedding!

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Tuesday, February 04, 2014

PARENTS INTERFERENCE - My Fiance Has Postponed The Wedding!






 I will be glad to get some useful opinions from blog visitors. Am a female, 28yrs. My wedding is supposed to hold end of march.                                  


I took my fiance home, we had our introduction, agreed on a wedding date and was given go ahead to do registry which held last month.                                   

  my parents are retired likewise my in laws. My fiance and I work enough to live averagely. I opted for a small wedding; I want a traditional wedding in march, then marriage blessing latter. we can handle this! The registry has been done. so I do not even like the crowding and preparation stress that comes with big weddings. 



My parents are adamant; I must have both traditional and white same day or a day interval! They are ready to even borrow money o. They said i cannot deprive them the joy of a white wedding considering most of our family friends did both. They said if he's not ready; am still young  and can look for another man! …..this is so crazy...                            

 I feel its not wise to spend lavishly on weddings especially if its not convenient.  

  My fiance was called and he suggested the wedding should be postponed as a lot of issues have come up and he cannot go beyond his budget now neither will he support borrowing money.

My parents are against me now, but I feel its my wedding and I should have a say in what I want. I also feel a wedding ceremony shouldn't be a competition to show off to family friends!  


  Please are my decisions bad? How do I handle this situation? Thanks

99 comments:

  1. Madam go and plead with your parents, don't loose this man because of this little disagreement, it shows that you and your husband are careful with money and i love that about the two of you, don't start your life with dept please. To me the most important is even the registry. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eyah! Poster, na real " aka gum" you wan marry. After marriage, na so so management una go dey do.
      This same man will begin to disregard your parents and family if he has hus way now and you will have no say whatsoever. I know what am saying.goodluck sha. Eku ife.

      Delete
    2. Go and do registry with some friends as witness!!

      Tell them when they are ready to work with your plans, you will comply, if not, you are married already anyways...

      Believe me, they will be the ones begging you for even the small wedding ceremony..

      Delete
    3. At 28 you're still young :o Aunty,you don enter injury time O....

      Delete
    4. he is now your husband nt your fiance. registry is what matters in law.

      Delete
    5. @ poster, I'm currently in d situation but in my case, my fiancé wants a mega big celebrity wedding. I'm currently praying to get preggy ASAP mayb that would help.

      Delete
    6. Anon 1:36, u sound sooooo stupid! Ppl like you are the ones who borrow or take loan for weddings. Why not cut your coat according to your material or u kuku no sew anything?

      Poster, you guys can move the wedding by a few months, pay for everything gradually and do it. It doesnt hv to be massive. You can do outdoor instead of hiring a hall for reception. Order your dress from china. Get an affordable make up artist who might just be upcoming and eager to work. Look for an affordable caterer. Etc. You'll save cost by doing all these. Pele. It is well..

      Delete
    7. Anon 6:25,you, your Father, your mother and every member of your family is Stupid.
      Y not send your number and become the wedding planner? Useless gboromideleru somebody. Busybody.
      She should order her dress from China ba?
      In fact, I already know your type, Capital suffer head so I will not answer you again. Won't even look this way again so u can talk to ur self if u like

      Delete
    8. I dont know how your custom is but my dear in a way your mother is right sort of. doing white wedding and traditional on the same day can further help you cut your cost significantly. dont do the white wedding a day after the traditional. but rmb like i said it is all about your custom and tradition and how long you guys take in doing your traditional wedding and all the plenty drama and ceremony.
      in my case, we were also a young couple trying to save as much as possible. i had my traditional marriage in the morning as early as 8pm, we had begun the ceremony. there was no too much long talk or drama. the list had already been complied with, we did abit of waka here, water dey, we need boat, we need car blablabla for the bride and the grooms people sprayed money. the prayers and admonishing, breaking kolanut, dancing abit,bride price, sitting on his lap and his dad's lap and all that. it was very swift and good.
      i was ready for the church service by 12noon. It was a very very very good day my dear and savings were made. Were i to choose, i will do the same again. You need understanding parents to pull this off though. All the best.
      KINDLY NOTE, YOU DON GO REGISTRY COME BACK, YOU ARE LEGALLY MARRIED IN THE EYES OF THE LAW DEAR. THAT MAN IS YOUR HUSBAND. GOODLUCK

      Delete
    9. It's also possible ur people doesn't want u moving in with the man without having a white wedding but if u do it same day or a day interval, that takes care of it. Anon9.59pm is very right about saving great costs if u do it same day as u will have just one reception for both but it depends on if u want or must have both some place. Usually most Igbo have traditional marriages in the east but if urs can be done where u are located, it's very wise to do so since u are trying to save cost. Don't mind those who will borrow to wed. After wedding instead of beginning ur lives u will be busy paying debts and from there blames will set in and quarrels here and there. Be wise my dear and may God see u guys thru

      Delete
  2. Naturelle Osasere4 February 2014 at 12:06

    In asmuch it is your wedding,it is also a union of two families just try and balance your idea with theirs,be considerate and also let your parents know you feel.congrat

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are right.
    It isn't about the wedding tho mine went consecutively n was mind blowing.
    It's about the marriage afterwards.
    Tell ur people ure adult enough to make ur decision so they shldnt interfere.
    Why would they want to frustrate u n d poor young man n put u both in debt just to save their reputation.
    The way we look at this whole marriage thing is baffling.
    Remind ur parents ur 28,nt far from d big 30.
    They shld stop testing ur man's patience cos girls are nt smiling these days o.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lady!
      You make a sensible comment then add how yours is/was better!
      Please read proverbs 31 well. Most especially ro 31:26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
      Like seriously, is it 'how yours was mind-blowing she wants to hear now?

      Delete
    2. @Truthteller, pls tell this M-amie of a person, whenever someone comes up here with an issue instead of facing the matter and give any reasonable advice (that's if she has) she'd go singing praises about herself, how her marrige is perfect & has never had any hiccups , how her wedding was mindblowing bla bla who cares! if you haven't got any reasonable advice for the poster just shush!

      Delete
    3. M-amie, the fake dreamer + storyteller.

      Delete
    4. I don't belong to the school of tot of those who join d crowd just to appear sympathetic.
      All we hear here everyday is about failed marriages n very negative things dat can discourage singles from ever getting hooked.
      I'm here to advocate for those with flourishing homes.yes,we exist!
      Even my pastor preaches positivity so I'm forever gonna remain positive about my marriage.
      Feel free to curse,Mamie is balling for life.
      #cheers!

      Delete
    5. I have never passed any comment against or for M-amie before now. But I think I align with her a bit. Especially with her last submission. Yes I have noticed she always has a story to tell, but if it is relative to the discourse, why not? After all posters always want to hear if others have gone tru their issues too, or at least someone that is knowledgeable enough to advice them. So I see nothing wrong with what mamie has said today.

      Poster. Please try to stay in btw both ur parents and hubby. You can satisfy both sides methodically and without having to borrow monies. If need be, postpone the date so u can save more money to afford the white wedding. They seem orthodox and I don't blame them for wishing for this. Perhaps are u the first to be married in ur house? Maybe that's why. just be wise. But appeal to hubby more ...for his tolerance and understanding. Let him know that after the wedding,..their opinion would no longer count in ur marriage. That's all.

      Delete
    6. mamie liar liar......which marriage? show us your marriage certificate.........u package urself go dey live with man dey claim wife.....

      Delete
  4. We killed a whole mancity last night.
    If u ain't a football fan, u really need Chelsea in ur life.Blue is the colour, football is the game
    We're all together, and winning is our aim
    So cheer us on through the sun and rain
    'cause Chelsea,
    Chelsea is our name
    Join us n be saved

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na so, chelsea all way m-amie. The league trophy is ours. God has given it to us in JESUS NAME.

      Delete
    2. Has it come to this??? Lol Chelsea now begging for supporters.....hmmm

      Delete
    3. Walahi oti ya werey!

      Delete
    4. Chel shit! #teamarsernal4life

      Delete
    5. Hehehehee, Blues for life! High five M-amie!

      Delete
    6. Man city is d club to beat jare.....yaya toure de crase sha...but my darling harzard was harzardous. If oscar had been in on the game early enough, we would have scored enough goals but I guess its because he's to young and not strong for that kind of game. It reminded me of Drogba. The dude would break legs jare..........CHELSEA!!!!!!!

      Delete
  5. Abeg wedding is not to show off or competition...go ahead and do what you can afford, it's ur wedding and not ur parents......they won't be there wen the chips are down.

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  6. Your decisions are in order my dear.....
    Sometimes we need to stand by our decisions for our parents to know that we are old enough to know what we want.
    Plan a wedding according to your finances and pull d crowd u desire (small or big)
    Remember its your wedding, so it has to be exactly how u and your fiance wants it and not how any other person does whether family or friends.
    Stick to your decision, do not waver! With time, your parents will give in!
    Happy married life in advance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I would suggest that she bends a bit for her folks. Reason being that the last input a parent is entitled their child is during his/her wedding. Esp a female child. Technically it is her parents duty to do the wedding. Just that these days children have become independent. Back in d days we didn't have our personal monies to do our own wedding...but times have changed. ideally it's her parents call and not hers. But not withstanding she should have a say.. but not one that will be displeasing to her folks. I think her parents went far by saying she should dump him if he doesn't comply...that's a bit selfish.

      Delete
  7. not so happy bride4 February 2014 at 12:18

    Thank you so much Stella. You are far too kind. I will be reading the comments.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sweetheart you have done the registry you have the legal certificate you are already married legally at least there is nothing they can do about that only you or your husband can file for divorce your parents cannot. So if they cannot understand your situation and go along with your plans na them sabi as far as am concerned you are legally married. if they want a carnival celebration then they should be ready to pay for it stick to your guns he is already your husband afterall

      Delete
    2. My dear u av done ur court wedding, move in with your hubby and start living your lives regardless. Do your white wedding how you want and tell them they are free to do their after party after they are done borrowing money for the date they have set.

      Wo IMO you are married already... All the rest is papaz

      Delete
    3. Just goto church and set the reception for much later! Abi?

      Sighs

      Delete
    4. Better stilll do in hux trad nd big white wedding,so u do it once nd 4 all.trust me after trad u may Nt be so interested in white.so close eye do both.1 small 1 big

      Delete
    5. Make ur wedding a strictly by IV, tell ur parent its gonna be big, when the multitude dey invite dnt av d IV's dey will be bounced....u appologise later, but trust me, when they see how classy a lil wedding is, d anger won't be much

      Delete
    6. Phelee, you are an epitome of shallow. Ahah! Bounce their parents friends after deceiving them to attend the wedding?!!

      Delete
    7. To d poster,wedding(trad/white) is one of d last tin u owe ur parents as a daughter,there is a way u go abt it.sit down wt dem let dem kwn u n ur husband's capability towards d plan of d wedding cos wedding is not a one man tin family n frnds support n play theri roles too. My own I want a trad bt small wedding bt my parents said No sinx am theri 1st daugther dey will support n do deri own n I was happy I planned wt dem cos I told dem see hw far me am my husband can go so if u r calling ur many frnds u handle theri foods,drinks etc n @ d end I was hapi I didn't go against theri wish cos my wedding was wonderful both families did deri part food,drinks every went round. U can do in-house trad wt not up to 20ppl den do white wedding limit frnds u invite other tins will go well.don't fall out wt ur parents cos dey brought u dis far in life,tk cr

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  8. U have got selfish parents and I think u should tell them it's ur life and not theirs. How can one borrow money for a wedding? That's absurd. It's better to have a quite and simple wedding now and save money for the future of the marriage. Wedding is a one day thing and marriage is a life time. U have done the registry already, that's what matters, stay with ur man and plan with him only. Just don't get why parents or people spend millions on weddings that won't last more than 10 hours, when it has taken lots of months and years to come up with the millions. U are a good woman, stick with ur man's decision cos after the wedding, u will be left with only him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell them that if they do not agree they should get ready to disown you, cause you would move out and be with your man afterall you guys are alredy married (legally). Just threaten them o, do not really move out...just to hear what they would say

      Delete
    2. You have no right to insult the parents. The bride might have a point but traditionally, the bride's parents have an input too in their daughter's wedding plans.

      Bride, don't deprive your parents the joy of marrying you off the way they think it should be done. If they are Yoruba Christains, you and I know how weddings are expected to be done. To do anything less might be diminishing to their social status/disrespecting some of their friend/society members

      Its your decision but be ready to be flexible. There's a way you can still plan around a small budget.

      Delete
    3. goldscent what exactly are u saying? that she should borrow to please here parents? am sorry to say if they are yorubas then they are used to borrowing for weddings....no apologies to anyone on that..............but we do not have to follow the crowd, she has said they want to do how they can afford and they have refused that it has to be big..this post is not about not knowing that a wedding involves both families or that parents should be honored....its about should we borrow to do a big wedding to satisfy the public? answer is big NO......pack ur load go stay for your husband house, when una save to do trad and church una do am.......some parents need to be shaken a little to get the message

      Delete
  9. Nne, calm down, he has proposed and u r surely his bride, his wife n the mother of his soon-to-have kids. All u need now is prayer. Pray for God's guidance and guardian, pray he provides money for both families to take this union to the next level. Do not fight ur folks ova dis @all n do not quarell wit ya man unto say "e neva ready financially", keep been U dear. Pray. Pray. Makeout. Pray. Cook. Pray. (in that order). No more nacking sha, postpone that one too till further notice

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  10. Nne, calm down, he has proposed and u r surely his bride, his wife n the mother of his soon-to-have kids. All u need now is prayer. Pray for God's guidance and guardian, pray he provides money for both families to take this union to the next level. Do not fight ur folks ova dis @all n do not quarell wit ya man unto say "e neva ready financially", keep been U dear. Pray. Pray. Makeout. Pray. Cook. Pray. (in that order). No more nacking sha, postpone that one too till further notice

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  11. Stella u hot like fire today ooooh am enjoying ur blog grazie!

    ReplyDelete
  12. PLEASE TELL YOUR PARENTS THE HAVE ONE OF ANTY STELLA'S SEAT.
    AND LET THEM KNOW IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U are silly. Would u tell your parents to take a seat? Charity begins at home. Duhhh

      Delete
  13. Abeg carry belle born like dat dat will b more better or do only court wedding u can do dat without ur parents. ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did u read that piece at all?

      Delete
  14. that is how must parent do, i think the first thing dat shld be on dere mind shld be dere daughter`s happiness and not the so called society wedding,no p since you av done the court wedding u r free to enjoy yourself with ur husby na , some parent dont no that some of this things will become dere children`s insult in future,if money no con dey d guy hand,wey dere pikin con dey suffer dem go say hin don use money do wedding finish . even her in-law will use it against her,just try and talk to them make ur husby no con too broke after wedding oooooooo

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  15. maintain your stand, the wedding happens on your terms or nothing......you have done registry so you are married by law and can move to his house if you want........also u can have both same day but with few people sef...just invite close family memebers and friends, other people will chop apology......the truth i can tell you for free is when you make up your mind and do what you want people will respect your boundaries and can only talk......people will always talk.....your parents are being selfish and living for the public eye which is so wrong.....if they give u too much stress just go for church blessing and move on with your life at least they agreed for the registry which shows they r in support of the man......anytime they are ready you do church and traditional, life is too short for stress abeg

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  16. U hv done d registry thing so its safe 2 say u guys r husband n wife u can stop calling him ur fiance. If u agree wit ur husband stick wit him n try 2 make ur family see reasons. Only u n ur husband know wot u want n wot will affect ur marriage after d wedding. Borrowing 4 a wedding is a no no from my own point of view.

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  17. Its ur day n its also dier day. No intending couple drops frm d sky; u must com frm a family. Try t balance d equation; ur parents nid t b involved all d way too provided dey can support financially. Pls dnt borrow t hav a big wedding

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  18. Their is life after wedding i hope your parent know dat.spend wisely..do wat you and your hubby can afford.who will pay 4 the debt?sis shine your eyes after wedin kids start coming..pampers and baby food no be joke..

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  19. Na lavish spending , just do traditional na

    Sex worker Goes unclad to protest.....

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  20. My dear u are very correct jare....large wedding ke so dt everytom dick nd harry wld come nd give you cup of 350 as present abegi...if its 50 ppl u knw u can host perfectly do it dan hosting 500 dt only half wld eat nd d remaining half won't be satisfied...some parent might really be difficult so I suggest if u av som1 they listen to preferably som1 learned, d person wld be in a good position to talk to them

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  21. My dear ur a reasonable young woman..nothing wrong in ur decisions at all! Dnt let ur parents deprive u of a happy home ooh...pls discuss with ur man n stick to what both of u want..tell ur folks to save up for ur anniversary if they really want a big party dat bad,let dem allow u to do ur marriage blessing n start building ur home!tk care n congrats!

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  22. He should not postpone any wedding oh,he should go ahead and do what he can,if parents want to assist by borrowing,there cup of tea,postponing the wedding means you can do it and much more.
    The guy should stand his ground abeg,if he keeps listening from today,he will continue to listen for the rest of his life.

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  23. Your decisions are not bad dear afterall its your wedding,....ignore your parents....their time don pass....do what makes you happy....you still have a lot of spendings ahead of you when you start having babies...

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  24. Why do a lavish wedding when you can't afford it? Misplaced priorities.. I'll suggest you invite someone your parents respect to talk to them. Thank God you've done the registry cos that's the koko..

    Oluyomi Odukoya

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  25. Hmmm. If I speak my mind, people will abuse me but I will still go ahead.
    Tell them that you have agreed to have it a week after in a different town from where your parents stay. They will be overjoyed and all of that. Plan for your trad and forget the white wedding. When you have had your trad, tell your parents that you have cancelled the white wedding. Then you go ahead and do your thing.

    Or you can tell them that you are having the white wedding but only do the church blessing and continue to your honeymoon. Your parents will eventually forgive you as blood is thicker than water.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah no o. I don't agree with u. How can she say she's having her white wedding in another town? Are her parents exempt from attending it, if at all? It doesn't make sense abeg. Its better they argue it out now...agree to disagree, and vic versa..dont do anything that'll cause u years of seeking unending apology biko.

      Delete
  26. I actually wanted to say why not give marriage a little time when I saw your age, but from your write up, you sound so matured. I must say even more matured than your parents.

    Why not sit them down and tell them what you want, that you are after your happiness and not anyone's. And offcourse you'll need money for other things after the wedding.

    Afterall the most important thing is, if you love each other and then the handing over.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Thatz how most parents buy trouble with dia hands...u shud hav gone spiritual with ur parents(U know our pastors,fasted,prayed with us and suggested we do a low key thing etc.).That really works like magic in most cases.

    ReplyDelete
  28. you have to put your foot down on some things. I did it during my wedding and it worked. its your wedding not their wedding fantasy!!!!. Your wedding!! Your way!!

    And please don't make your man vulnerable due to this. or you want a lavish wedding then start drinking Garri from day 1?? please be wise woman.

    ReplyDelete
  29. U are not getting younger. The decision is urs 2 take! Ur parents won't live with u after ur wedding. U have 2 plan ur wedding accoring 2 wat u can afford. If u lavish all ur income on a day's event wat are u and ur husband going 2 feed on after d whole party is ova. Better be firm with ur decisioins. Ur parents aren't always goin 2 be there

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  30. Sorry to say dz,ur family z bn childish and selfish..dey v to see reasons wt u and ur fiance..plz poster,v a talk wt dem so dt dey wil see reason wt u...ACv

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  31. it is well with everyone reading this post


    @Galore

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Galore lol @ ur comment. What has happened 2 u lately? U don't sound same like the galore I used 2 enjoy her comments. Hope ur Ok tho. @ poster, nice decision my dear. It's not how far, but how well. Stick 2 ur decision jare! Some parents sef. If u had gotten preggy 1st wld they be here looking 4 an extravagant wedding?

      Delete
    2. so,you can be this nice?keep it up with the new you

      Delete
    3. thanks

      Am fine ooo

      Old things are passed away

      Buhahahaha

      @Galore

      Delete
    4. nonsense galore, old things have passed away ko new things have resurrected ni.....olodo, na reading wan finish your brain for there

      Delete
  32. Nne, well done jare! You and your boo get brain die. At least you are cutting your coat according to ur sizes.

    Tell your parents to borrow money and celebrate their anniversary if they want a big whatever. Stand on ur decision and don't look back

    ReplyDelete
  33. These r my sentiments exactly oh.
    My inner thots sef nd d situation am facing.
    Atho borrowing money is nt an issue in my own case nd my weddin was postponed due to exams nt money issue.
    But all d issues u raised abt nt wantin a big weddin r wot I hav bin singing to my family but they say I must wed d way evrybody weds. Dt I shdnt do old pple's weddin I wil regret lerra in life.
    And am lik wow! Regret ke? A small weddin is wot I hav dreamd of fr d past 3yrs. Am nt a party person. Dnt want to wear a big dress nd sit on stage til d occassion is over and watch pple disect me.
    Rolls eyes
    Parents shd allow kids wed d way they want to. They r of age.
    Kini big deal?
    Amanda R

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amanda Reginald, parents usually see their children like little kids irrespective of the age they've become. Your firm decision on matters which concerns you is what corrects that impression.
      Most times they shout and raise the roof but at the end, they give in. During my wedding, my mum was raking that why would my husband and i pick a rainy month. I told her don't worry on my wedding day, it won't rain. She kept on that we have to change the month...I refused, alas! It didn't rain, the weather was beautiful and she went on telling everyone how I am blessed and foresaw that there would be no rain...parents ehn! Lol

      Delete
  34. Whoever pays the piper dictates the tune.If your parents want a big wedding, engagement/white wedding, and can afford to foot the bill themselves,then let them spend their money. But asking you to foot a big wedding for their own ego at your own expense is downright selfish.I am a parent with grown children and my daughters are married. Parents ought to lay up for the children not children for the parents. Support your fiance. Stand by him.Stand up for him with your parents.Why should he be the one to foot the bill for their own guests?Sorry. It is not right. Let them be against you. It is one of the tests for your marriage. There will still be more to come.Parents like that do not let up easily.Naming ceremonies, family parties, inlaw celebrations. They will still come with 'what- they- think- a- husband -should-do/spend'. So how you handle this one will slowly sink the message into them. No. A Wedding doesnt have to be a competition. Stand with your husband. But do not be rude. Quietly, respectfully, but firmly explain. You will do only what you can afford-if he is the one that has to foot the bill. The postphoning will also be only for what he can afford even at that time. Period.Sometimes,children are the ones that teach parents what is Godly and what is right...

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  35. U and ur man should go ahead with ur plans. Trust me ur parents would surely attend.
    U can apologise to them after d wedding.
    Congratz dear

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  36. My dear, is not by power or anything carnal, but will advice you take it cool with ur parents and try to make them see more reasons with u so u don't loose their blessings which is most paramount in every marriage... And whatever u do in the name of disobedience to ur parents may end up creating a feud btw u&ur parents&it will be used against u someday in the future by ur husby...outside that, when the problems of marriage beckons, who will u run to? Be wise sweet.. If ur parents assert on borrowing money for the marriage, provided they will do the borrowing&pay back themselves my dear just free them. I wish you life luck and a conjugal marital bliss in advance.. Pls don't forget to invite SDkers oooooo when the storm calms @i_ChoPtas_Not

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  37. Yall have 2 jst seat dwn n com 2 a compromise. U can do it d same day, lots of pipo do. Dt way, d feedin decor n all wht not, is jst once. U jst change in2 ur gown n let a pastor do his thing. Same audience, same location n all wht not. BTW, he's not ur fiance, he's ur husband. U hv done ur registry marriage so ma dear u r married alrdy. God giv u d wisdom 2 handle all dis.

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  38. I had to go back and re read it.
    He is your HUSBAND. You've already gone to the registry. You already have av marriage certificate? Or did you just go to give notice there?

    If you have the marriage certificate. Move in with your husband. Tell your parents their idea is good but your husband does not want to borrow money to do such. Therfore you will do what they want when you both have money for it.

    Trust me. Na dem go say 'hmm since you are already living together, let's just do something small'

    -babe

    ReplyDelete
  39. My dear is your wedding don't borrow. Or allow people borrow on ur behalf me my dream was do my trad and registra I hav never wanted big wedding and that was what I got after we did ou trad we told our parents we r going for registra and they gave us their blessing and I enjouyed every bit of it we r not owing anybody am happy for five years now I have never insulted my hussy or thr other way round if am angry I don't talk if he angry he doest talk we talk when there is no tension and is working like magic for us. Big wedding doesn't make mariage work.

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  40. Exactly wat am going through now.dnt know wat to do.my parents have been postponing my wedding especially my mum.she loves my fiancee but its 1 issue or the other on the wedding plans

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  41. Am sure this poster na yoruba. Party tinz always even if it leads to debt and being broke.

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  42. Dear Stella,

    I have been enjoying you blog for a long time

    I need help but am too embarrassed to send an email. I will be turning 35 this year and I have NEVER had a relationship yes I have a very good job, a nice car and from a good family. What am I doing wrong. I am being pressured to get married and even my parents do not believe that I do not have suitors. The think am just too career oriented but that is not true. I really want to experience true love but I just has never happened to me. What am I doing wrong!.

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    Replies
    1. Never Never?

      At 35 years old?

      And you want us to diagnose your problem on a blog?

      Open up to your mum/aunt/grandma. They have serious work to do on your matter.

      Delete
    2. Pray until something happens Dear!!! Sometimes it could be ones spiritual husband scaring suitors away from them. You need to stand firm now and stronger in prayers. Then is adviceable you look for a true man/woman of God for proper deliverance after that you will be free.. Look for a priest also to bless salt for u sweet; then whenever u wanna take ur bath, pray over it and drop little in the water...apply blessed olive oil too after taking ur bath....... It works, trust me so well.... We shall also be praying for you. Relax, age is just a mere number in the sight of God, sooner or later the veil will be lifted off you. @i_ChoPtas_Not

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    3. @Anon 4:12Pm, There's absolutely nothing wrong with u ok! I would advice you to a bible believing church & ask one of the deliverance Pastor to do a deliverance 4u. It could be the evil ones covering ur stars & covering ur face with a spiritual veil. All u need is a spiritual warfare. Fast & Pray for 3days b4 going for our deliverance. Someone somewhere isn't happy at ur star. Pray ur way through this ok. I wish u all d best.

      Delete
    4. Never? Even as a teenager or a girl in her early twenties? Wow....
      Have you given yourself the opportunity to try? I have an aunt who is older than you and haven't gotten involved with a man. Its because she lives a triangle life...church, work and home. She never smiles at people maybe while walking nor is she very friendly and I had to help her work on that.
      I think you should pray seriously about it and give yourself a chance. Don't expect every man that comes around you to want to marry you.

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    5. Join RCCG in their 100 days fasting......u will definately have a testimony b4 april 11....of you don't pray and believe in GOD, even if a man of God lays " his body" on you, nofin wld happen...so pray hard,live a righteous life ( am not claiming dt am righteous o) cos d Bible says the prayer of the righteous man availeth much...you cld look for a prayer partner too

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    6. I will advise you go out more to decent places where you will see people of like mind. I met my fiance in the library, of course he is a very intelligent person. In your case, u could go for seminars and conferences home and abroad to meet professionals like you. Don't limit yourself to Nigerian men too, Love can find you anywhere. Above all, commit everything to God in prayer, I believe there is nothing wrong with you. Cheers! Sending you e-hugs, you'll be fine!

      Delete
  43. My wedding is in 5 wks........ Truth is dt dere are loads if challenges dt come with wedding! if it's not parents n dates palava, it will be who is paying or buying wat! U are legally married ,dt wats matters! If dey want to borrow let dem do! But dnt spend too much n drink garri later! Most pple want "bellanaija" wedding just to show off dt dey are "dere". My dear cut ur coat according to your size! My fellow SDKers pls wish me blissful marriage........ as I dey now I don tire for d wedding preps alrdy!*phew*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Congratulations. It is d day the Lord has made, and u shall rejoice and be glad in it. Like the very first wedding Jesus attended. When they ran out of drinks...to save the day, He turned water to wine. in ur own case I pray that He will provide u surplus of everything. In fact He will officiate ur wedding and it shall be a successful day IJN.

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  44. Do everythn in one day...that way u save cost and please ur parents.trad plus white.and if ur parents are adamant abouta big white wedding,I hope they wona sponsor it???

    ReplyDelete
  45. My dear these days most pale do their wedding 2 in 1. Go for the church wedding in the morning and let the traditional wedding be in the afternoon as both reception for the white wedding and the traditional wedding. You will end up killing two birds with one stone, spending d same amount u already budgeted for d white wedding except wedding dress which u need for church.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Been learning a lot from this blog...

    Dear SDKers,

    I need some advice,my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years, we had plans to do our introduction next month...he suddenly said the introduction should be on hold because we've been quarelling a lot lately, we quarell over any little thing...to top it all, he said we need to spend 3months together to see if we won't quarell,then and only then will we go ahead with the introduction...

    *I'm confused* is he stylishly breaking-up? Should I start seeing someone else? *i don't know what to expect*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. anonymous 10:52, please shine your eyes for this guy oh....heeen, this sounds like someone who has something to hide........trust me you do not need a trial marriage to see if you wont quarrel.....have been married 9 years now and me and my hubby dey quarrel and keep malice sef sometimes but guess what, we still love each other, great sex, we can gist till 4.am sometimes etc....so my dear quarrel no dey end...he might be stylishly looking for an excuse to break up cos he knows you might not want to move in with him.....lol.....fear guys oh, shine your eyes wella....don't know of any marriage where they don't quarrel. the phase u are going through now is the phase where the initial excitement of love begins to fade and the real test of love is showing..it happens in any relationship and if the so called love is fake then some people begin to seek ne thrill with others.....once u get over this phase (assuming this bobo is for real) trust me u will both experience love in a new way

      Delete
    2. forgot to add, please dont rush into seeing someone else......even if u break up, take time to heal properly, look back and learn from past mistakes before u start another relationship......we have all gone thru failed relationships one time or the other so its all part of learning.

      Delete

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