Dear Stella,
my mother in law is in my house presently visiting and she's already destroying my marriage...
My husband now comes home late (very unlike him) and all she does is to give him a pat in the back.
Last night he beat me just becos I got angry he came home late again. instead of scolding her son for hitting me, she was blaming me instead that i am stubborn and not tolerant.
She's even saying her son should stop helping me out in the kitchen (cos he does at times) and he should stop acting like a babysitter just becos he plays with our son when he gets back from work.
She's now threatening me that if I go on like dis, her son would get another wife…i am really tired of all these, everyone knows that she's a troublesome woman except for her son who's blinded to her ways...
please what do I do? my husband is not really who he used to be ever since she stepped into my home, though she's leaving soon.
how do I stop her from coming here, what do I do? How do I make my husband see that his mum is trying to destroy our home and as such,he should stop inviting her over?
*You cannot come between a mother and her child..the same way you will fight anyone who tries to come between you and your child later.
Please look for a way..anyway to befriend your mother in law..just for peace sake oh.
Once you do that everything will fall into place and it will be a #yimu + #yimu =YIMU situation.
Be wise and do not let the fact that she is a troublesome person break you….Solomons wisdom is needed now…good luck oh.
Stella peterhas confirmed dat dere was a p.go bring d gist oo
ReplyDeleteSpeak english plz!
DeleteAm very interested in peter's story.
That guy is filled wit so much anger n agressn.
Buhahahaha
DeleteDis anony don kill me!
See as my ear don stand.
I just realised, d peter u tlking abt isnt ezewanyi's BF!
Lmao! Nxt time anony just write psquare biko
Aproko no gud!
Speak english plz!
DeleteAm very interested in peter's story.
That guy is filled wit so much anger n agressn.
Stella won't bring the gist here naa it will only make her look like a fool.
DeleteStella inshort you are really a mother,I asked my sis who was scolding his husband people.sister shey you love ur kids she said yes,I then asked her how will u feel if a girl comes btween u and this ur son which u pet like egg?she said ha I will kill that woman.I tld her,do u know that this people feel hurt whenever u chase them away from their brother.my point is how will u feel if another come between u and ur son,I av a mother inlaw and she loves me why because whenever she's around I make that home a public home allow my mother inlaw some space with her son because naturally women are jealous when it comes to their own child ,so pls pet her try to make her feel the son is still hers nt urs alone,call her mama help her if the need arises cus some women are fond of giving their mother inlaw bad look whenever they come to see the son,they see her as a devil ehe what does she want here as if she didn't take care of that man which made him marriageable.Biko do unto others what u wish others to do to u .I am sure your problems will be solved cus men who their mum really suffered for dnt forget their mother easily let alone allowing anybody come between them.
DeleteBwahahahahaaaaaa.....pink shell amebor, y ur ear no go tanda? Uncle Peter wey u nah? I dey miss u wella.....but that peter dey hopeless and useless ooo......
DeleteAt pink shell its me d anony ok and u are a big fool I swear.btw u n I who went to school? You had better shut that your gutter there.mtchewwww
DeleteNa wa ooo.....poster sorry oooo....y dont u get a maid to help with housework, u wan turn ur husband to boy boy? My hubby is d only son with 10 sisters and they ve never given me wahala for one day, anyway where dem go see me? I no dey talk anyhow sha...I respect myself but they know there is a line they cant cross but I think they let me be cos of my hubby cos he doesn't like to see me upset.I am also mil and my daughter and her hubby are based abroad and she has her mil sympathy cos d mama senior d mama wey born me and moreover they are enlightened and btw, I dont think I will like to see my son doing housework and babysitting, I think its demeaning biko we no be oyibo people.
DeleteFake bitch @ pink shell. No be only "Speak english". Getto cunt! People like u stay in a genaral Face me I face u house. Get real 4 once u won't die.
DeleteTry loving ur mother inlaw the same way u would love ur mum... it helps.. every human is got a good and bad side..
DeleteI stopped believing you the day u said you will be 35yrs soon and ur daughter is expecting a child this yr. I asked myself. Does it mean this woman got married at 20 & her daughter got married at 14yrs when she is not a Muslim?. Isoriat. It is good to think big sha.
Delete@anon 10:50pm apparently you have not been following ezewanyi's story. She got married at 13 o! Ezewanyi mgbo??
DeleteMadam Stella, did you skip the part where she said that the husband beat her? Are we not talking about DV here? What if her MIL is not the type she can befriend? I don't understand you anymore..... One moment you are against Abuse and the next moment you are asking pple to pretend and accept abuse! You didn't even see anything wrong with the husband coming home late and the mum supporting him... Are we suffering from selective amnesia? I am a woman and when I have a son and he marries, I will respect his home and his wife. He's her son, yes! But, he has a wife now. All she needs do is serve as unbiased arbitrate when her son and wife quarrel. If she is soo possessive of her son, then she should have married him na. Say NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. My name is Bekee.
Delete@Bekee, chop kiss 1million times.
DeleteEzenwanyi and her stupid mentality..... What is wrong in a man helping his wife with house work? What is her crime for being angry her his man came home late? You fools will be at home doing something else then come on blogs to lie..... The mother in law is a bad mother.... Any woman that cannot allow her son cleave to his wife is a witch.... U all stop bending Gods law.... When your son marries leave them the hell alone cos his priority is now his new home and u have no right to dictate what happens there..... He beats her cos he is angry and all u hypocrites don't see anything wrong with it and want to blame her.... The reason why African men will continue to treat u women as fools is cos u don't even know what u really want... A man misbehaves and behaves childish but u still blame yourselves for his actions..... Stupid fools
Delete1 million likes
DeleteIf he beats you leave his sorry arse and as for your mother in law i can only sympathise you need to put your foot down don't let her stay insist he visits her.i have similar issues minus the beating bit I can't stand you mother in law as a white brit I'm sure we have culture clashes but I find her ride overbearing and literally can not stand her I keep visits to the absolute minimum I will reluctantly invite her 3 times a year (if she hasn't invited herself) and leave my husband to go and see her on his own in between my 3 visits may have to see her once more this year but almost done my time for 2017
DeleteAbeg play card for there! Find a away to stay at peace with her! She came visiting and will certainly go one day! Ora biaru ije nwe una!
ReplyDeletePepper ose oku!
Some mother in-law can really be a pain in the neck, maybe you should let other family members know or confide in someone your husband respect to talk to him or a pastor of your church, and see if they can talk some sense into his head
ReplyDeleteYour comment will be visible after approval
Excuse me mr, please answer the following questions correctly with examples where necessary;
Delete1) do you have a job? If yes, when do you have time to work?
2) do you have a girlfriend or wife?
You are always amongst the first 5 to comment
@Anon 6.00pm, sorry to burst your bubble mate but the only way you could have known he's always among the first 5 to comment is because you are always among the first set of people to read Stella's blog as well. You do know that adage that has to do with pot, kettle and black, don't you?
DeleteThis guy is everywhere!...all sorts of blogs . I dunno what he is trying to proof.. try googling his name
Delete@anonymous 6:00pm no I don't have a job, actually, I am jobless, and I also don't have a girlfriend and don't have a wife either
DeleteYour comment will be visible after approval
This one is not even so bad na. Mr. Chikezie is practically the resident relationship expert on WC. His comments are legendary epistles and he's always among the first three to comment.
DeleteStella has said it all.
ReplyDeleteMy dear u have to win ur hubby's heart oo.deres nothing u can do to please a bad mother in law. Be nice to ur hubby.love n care for him .worship him in fact b all rounder.be a good cook, make sure your home is clean and b a bitch in bed.and above all put God first in ur marriage. If u do all dis tinz ur hubby wud listen to you most of d tym n draw d line btw u d wife and hs mother.
ReplyDeleteAdaora
Very well said babe!
Delete@ zee thanks
DeleteAdaora
Thanks Adaora. That's a good advice.
DeleteOne millon likes dear
DeleteThanks guys....good luck to the poster
DeleteAdaora
You've said it all!
DeleteMaybe u are fond of harassing or talking down at him in front of her, so she's finding u a lil controlling and stubborn..infact stop asking for help around d house when she's around,if she leaves u can continue ur ways with ur hubby since he does without complaining. she feels her son is being dominated hence the hostility.!
ReplyDeleteExactly,...Poster,this gist is not complete..tell us what you did coz your husband cannot just change like that...he can't just beat you coz you asked him why he came home late...are you the nagging type?...do you cuss and insult him infront of your mum in law??...like I said,something is missing...
DeleteHow can u harass ur husband infront of his mother? It is never done!! She go carry ur matter waka ni, that was y he beat u to prove to d mother that he is a man and unfortunately for u , u ve empowered him, cos he will never stop and who do u want to report him to?in my 21yrs of marriage, my hubby has never told me shut up talkless of hitting me cos he knows I will walk .....just once when he called me d daughter of a poor man, I laughed at him, rolled my yansh and walked away from him.my point is remove any kind of drama from ur home.
DeleteLinda u are stupid intact an idiot..... What do u mean he cannot change just like that? What is wrong in him helping his wife? Fools like u and ezewanyi will be here talking of domestic violence yet quick to blame women for a mans incompitencies.... The mother is obviously a bad influence and the hubby is just a weakling..... Just endure her till she carries her sorry self away....any mature woman should never feel jealous her son has a wife cos that's the fact of life.... You must let them leave and cleave to their wives the way you wanted your husband to cleave to you..... Men should learn to help their wives and stop all that stupid ungodly African mentality that thinks all the housework must be done by a woman.....
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSo because of your own personal issue at home u advice single girls to stay away from marriage right? U had ur marriage face it and allow others to go in for theirs themselves. U are already into ur marriage deal with it most of u marry for wrong reasons only to enter n start complaining.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteWhr in her comment did she say single girls shld stay away from marriage? Maybe I missed that line.
DeleteChinny, I totally disagree.
DeleteMarriage is beautiful....its wonderful.....my husband is a very good man and my inlaws are so lovely. If my mother inlaw doesn't hear from mr in 1 week, she gets worried and starts wondering if I'm sick.
My brother inlaws are beautiful people and my sister inlaws no even get time. One of them just left my house and I miss her.
So, marriage is lovely.....there will def be hitches but because we all have respect for each other, the hitches aren't harmful.
Mrs D, ur marriage never reach one year, so aint so experienced, mind u, I ve a beautiful 5yr marriage, so aint hating. Inlaws re d most unpredictable pple on earth, don't get too close to them n don't run too far from them. If not for d solomon's wisdom I applied, it would ve bin a different story.
DeleteThey rush to give ill advice when u attack them they run to delete @chinny u done run delete ur stupid comment. Most of u makes single ladies here act up with stupid advice.
DeletePretend to b a gud wife, stop nagging over ur husband new attitude b4 she leaves..u know wat she don't like abi please stop doing it wen she's around after all she's not staying there forever.
ReplyDeleteWhy pretend? Be a good wife to your horseband and a good daughter to your MIL.
DeleteBecuz you ll expect same from your own DIL.
Ask your horsebandy for help in a nice way. Thank him when he does help.
Also if he is havin quality time with mama, then pls don't interfere. Be friends with mama.
Finally commit ur marriage to God n it shall be well with you.
*husband*
DeleteWel done, Aunty Stella u talk thru,, u are right,,@ poster apply wisdom
ReplyDeleteNne, its 2 can play that game situation o. If she tells him to go out and come back late, you should tell him to come back the next day..... Use your brain and out smart her. Don't allow her to destroy your home o. And your husband give him serious warning about hitting you. If he dares hit you again that you will walk away
ReplyDeleteWomen!Na wa for yu poster.So u still be learner eh?Fist rule in relationships/marriages:Do not battle for control over ur hub when ur moda in law or elderly sisters in law are around,always play d fool.Let they be d one to complain that ur taking shit from ur hub,play d victim,play d mumu whatever you do,don't let them see ur anger.If yu too vex give yur hub d silent treatment,don't let them see u harrassing ur hub.Is this d first tym his beating yu?well I advice yu don't let it happen again.Oh and whyl we are @ it make sure same rules apply when ur parents/sibblings or relatives are around.Always play d fool.
ReplyDeletePeople are different, my mother even loves my wife more than she does me and the matter dey tire me sometimes. Be rest assured that as any sensible man knows, mothers have lived their lives and enjoyed or suffered thru their marriagesn biko they should also let us libe and enjoy or suffer thru ours! My mum cabt come between my wife and i. If i notice, i send her packing, afterall she get her own house.
ReplyDeleteAm exactly in ur shoes also @ poster. My MIL is presently around and she won't let me have peace. The worst thing that can happen to anybody is to have a terrible mother in law for whatsoever reason she just feels she has to prove to me that my husband is her son. Is easy for u stella to say she should look for a way to befriend her mother in law maybe because u haven't seen really bad mothers that the more u try so hard the more they try to push u away. I have no advise for u@ poster because am also trying to salvage my own situation ve been just been married for less than a year and am beginning to regret it ve not even enjoyed one day with my husband as a married woman. It's so bad she wakes me up by 5am to start cleaning as if na be house girl nor wife. Ve been patient and tolerant don't know how much patience I can give. Am not JOB.
ReplyDeleteEh yaaaaa, i feel for you ooooo.
DeleteNawa o..is she now staying with u guys.aint u working,self employed or sometin.Get busy with sometin,anything that will make u leave home in the morning to come back in the evening.That way she hardly will see you.less than a year marriage...
DeleteDear u just have to talk to ur hubby.if possible cry wen talking to him.by d way why would ur mother in law wake u up so early....he should not be there and see his mother maltreat you.you are his wife for crying out loud.advice for single ladies make sure u set d record straight b4 gettin married. Set some boundries, else it would be hard when u are already in the marriage. always respect ur own self, that way your inlaws to b would respect you.
DeleteAdaora
Lips sealed
ReplyDeleteMy mother in law also came visiting but the thing is that I don't even know when she is leaving. I barely just got married and my husband been indicating that she here to stay permanently. My mother in law I a perfect description of hell on earth. Can begin to type all her wahala cos twld take a whole page. I don't even know what to do to make her leave my house. She can't live with me oooo.
ReplyDeleteComing to stay kwa?...itokwara ato...Sorry!!!
DeleteAnon3:46, so touched by what you just said but Pls Pls calm down. In this life no matter the situation you are facing never lose your calm. Your mother in law wants you rattled& angry and it's working. If you fight her now, she is an old woman & she ends up in the hospital or worse. Do you know that is the end of your marriage. This woman has nothing to lose but you on the other hand can lose everything if you don't play your cards wisely. That said. You were meant to enjoy your marriage so like Stella said try to be her friend. If she rejects you keep trying still she is irritated. Buy her gifts like clothes and give them to her in the SITTING ROOM WHEN YOUR HUSBAND IS AROUND TO SEE. Let your husband know that you love preparing Mama's favourite meal for her. If she really hates you your kindness will infuriate & even your hubby will be the one asking why she hates you so much. In a short time she will leave your home but if she likes you even a little then your kindness can make you both best of friends.
DeleteTreat her exactly how you would want your sister in laws to treat your mother.
Breezy
Y dont u see as a blessing@3; 46.
DeleteShe might even be useful.....my friend Alhaja Taibat has her mil staying with them for God knows how long and if she didn't tell u , u will think she's her mum.
Pele dear....take heart...if u see d way my sil struggle to ve my mum visit...my dear pursue peace inugo
Ezewanyi, walahai u don para o. Lol at Alhaja Taibat, Alhaja Toheeb nko.
DeleteBreezy luv! U said it all. Dts wot has sustained my 8yrs of marriage ooo. She came 4 my wedding n has refused 2 go till nw. Although, I knw God's intervention made everything work 4 me cos initially my hubby don't care cos 4 him 'mama always has a reason 4 behaving dt way'.put in anoda way, u must hav wronged mama...
DeleteDon't ever confront your husband in the presence of your in-laws. Sometimes men want to show that they are in charge . Just pretend until his mum leaves. He may be acting. Be at peace with your mother in law. Though some of them can be terrible, but what can you do? Just be patient. Rose
ReplyDeleteYeah, it pays to be patient and tolerant.
DeleteI am sorry about what u r going through.GOd is ur strength.now listen,SILENCE N PRAYERS are all u need.u see dis life has a way of vindicating us wen we r being trampled upon.just be calm.say nothing to her.thank God she isn't living permanently wIt u.some people hAve it worse...let that be at d back of ur mind...try to be out of her way cos u r MARRIED already.n pray GOd opens ur hubby's eyes! It is well dear...remember,WISDOM IS KEYWORD! NEVER LET HER PITCH U AGAINST UR HUBBY! NEVER DARLING! And yeah,u can DO DIS!
ReplyDeleteSorry o, but did you say he beat you? And she blamed you? Why are we still having this conversation? Runnnnnnn! Is it until she joins him in the next beat down? I'm confused by all of this.
ReplyDeleteWomen, why do we seek answers we already have? I don't care why or what or when or how. Just go. And for the mentality of "how will I start over?". Seriously, your priority should be your life! Stay there o, pray to God who has opened your eyes to see you are in trouble but gave you a mind and the smarts to get out of the situation and succeed in life, worship your husband who does not treat you like a wife should be treated, become fake friends with a woman that you don't trust and live a very sad unfulfilled life. Good luck.
Single bitch.... And no this is not the poster
Delete@ Iya Eko - Bad adviser. I'm singlE but this ur advice stints. Any little thing run. Run to Where!
DeleteThis is his first time of hitting her and it isn't justifiable for a man to hit d wife but for crying out loud, things hvnt gone so bad for her to just run away. Let her run naW, let akatas like us occupy her space sharperly.......bf nko!
@ Iya Eko - Bad adviser. I'm singlE but this ur advice stints. Any little thing run. Run to Where!
DeleteThis is his first time of hitting her and it isn't justifiable for a man to hit d wife but for crying out loud, things hvnt gone so bad for her to just run away. Let her run naW, let akatas like us occupy her space sharperly.......bf nko!
Sorry o, but did you say he beat you? And she blamed you? Why are we still having this conversation? Runnnnnnn! Is it until she joins him in the next beat down? I'm confused by all of this.
ReplyDeleteWomen, why do we seek answers we already have? I don't care why or what or when or how. Just go. And for the mentality of "how will I start over?". Seriously, your priority should be your life! Stay there o, pray to God who has opened your eyes to see you are in trouble but gave you a mind and the smarts to get out of the situation and succeed in life, worship your husband who does not treat you like a wife should be treated, become fake friends with a woman that you don't trust and live a very sad unfulfilled life. Good luck.
Pretend,Pretend,Pretend. Learn to keep quiet and act mumu till she goes.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow you will also be a mother inlaw
ReplyDeleteIts only in Nigeria that one would say "I do" to a man only for him to come attached to his entire family, nuclear and extended. One thing I admire about the western culture is that this sorta crap can never happen. Imagine a white guys mum moving into his family home say wetin happen? You must call ahead of time and even at that, you can only stay for so long.
ReplyDeleteThis is africa! So deal with it. Oyibos hv their ugly cultures too. U build on ur circle of influence and manage ur circle of concerns. Stella has said it all...........solomon's Wisdom needed here not some sort of reiterating of oyibo culture. You hv to deal with your environment .......shikena!!!!!
DeleteThis is africa! So deal with it. Oyibos hv their ugly cultures too. U build on ur circle of influence and manage ur circle of concerns. Stella has said it all...........solomon's Wisdom needed here not some sort of reiterating of oyibo culture. You hv to deal with your environment .......shikena!!!!!
DeleteI have a mother and she doesn't disturb her dIL and SIL,she won't even stay long in their houses,she will tell u I have my own hubby o abeg I dey go...so some mothers are just wicked,hence woman pls be patient too
ReplyDeleteBecause she's ur mum, u see her as a saint. Pls allow others to judge her. ...........not nice!!!
Deletewhen it comes to MIL, rule #1, don't insult or fight with her son in her presence rule#2 play d fool, #3, Try as much as u can to treat her the way you ll treat ur Mum and finally pray n pray and prayer some more for wisdom.
ReplyDeleteDede
Abeg be wise nd careful oh cos NO BODY can come btw me nd my son!!! My MIL too is like dat always supporting her sons weda good or bad,bt she's good at buying stuffs for me nd giving me money!,,even my only SIL too is like dat,alwayz suporting her brodas...tank God she's now married bt she still tells me no mata wot she is still UMUADA,,,d Ibos in da house,abeg I nid a substantial explanation on dat UMUADA cos d way she dey talk am ehn!!!
ReplyDeleteOKIJA WIFE
The only advice I have for you is just stay on your lane o! Some people will rush to advice you that this is a new era and these things donunt,buut I tell you for free umuada in Igbo land have are very powerful when it comes to decision making...just avoid wahala with her if possible..I might not have said much but I have said it all.
DeleteOkija wig shut up joo, how does her story say she wants to come between mother and son? U fools will read and be vomiting rubbish.....nothing wrong in her hubby helping out and nothing wrong in her wanting him home early.... The mother inlaw is a nuisance simple..... If by now u don't know that a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one then u need to examine urself..... Foolish talk mschweeeeeeew
DeleteI could have sworn that I wrote this. My MIL visited a while ago and it ws not a pleasant experience at all. Its easy to say that u shld look for ways to befriend her, I have tried but I have a MIL dat is very manipulative, controlling and would even lie to have her way. I dont trust her and for me trust is key. I can not allow anyone that I dont trust around me..I have tried, I just feel uneasy with that person. She has done countless things that I cant even begin to list and I have seen that when she is talking to u , you need to be at alert, your brain has to calculate before u respond because shes trying to set u up with what u say or shes trying to know whats going on...how can anyone deal with dat for the rest of ur life....kia!!!!...i don enter 1 chance...Her 1st visit, she made sure my hubby n I fought, my mistake was that I allowed her to see us fight, I shld nt have responded to him when she was there. She told her son never to hit me but he shldnt eat my food...which dey both did for 2 days...all because I came back from work and wanted to make dinner before taking her out again....
ReplyDeleteshes planning to come again and d fight has started even before her getting here.
I dnt really have a problem with her, I just wished I had married a man with spine, that can stand up for me and protect me when it comes to his family. We will discuss as a couple abt something and when he sees / speak to his mum, he will begin to whimply murmur gibberish, making me look like the bad wife.
So poster, there is nothing u can do o...just do the minimum u can do: feed her and greet her, you owe her that, find where to spend ur time outside the house with your kid while shes there. Do the usual with hubby and pray for grace, divine grace to hold it together till she leaves...thats what im going to do...cus when it comes to my MIL, I dnt trust my hubby.
Annon 4:27, u truly could ve written dis cos u seem to know exactly wat am goin 2ru , tried all I can to please her but just a lil wrong and am d bad wife n hubby is not helping matters just as u said...really greateful for all d advice am getting so far
DeleteAnon 4.27, are we married to the same family and same man? I have the same experience. MIL is very manipulative and deceptive and lies a lot. But what does hubby do?He makes up things to cover her lies. Anytime we have an argument, it's around is mother......and what do I do as a smart person, I go to the woman and beg her telling her that I know she is innocent but he keeps bringing her name in. All that is to show her that I know what is going on.....Now I mind my business, he thinks there is something wrong. I come in and just say hello and good bye.
DeleteThere is such a thing as boundaries and people must learn to respect those. WOMEN! We know you love your sons but please you either marry them or back off when another woman marries them. It's really unfair the way some women interfere in their children's marriages. For instance how do you move into your child's house? Can't you stay in your own house? Or go stay with your daughter! Then you move in with your son and start troubling his wife, waking her up by 5am to clean her own house. By how??? Abeg!
ReplyDeletePoster, do you have rat poison?
ReplyDeleteBetter still, visit that baba along Lagos-Ibadan express way bush
I don't know what is more annoying. The answers from readers or the Lady's letter. Woman, are you silly. Your husband laid his hands on you and he did not get the warning of his life from you or your family members? You want to listen to the women on here that will only encourage this bullying and then insult you when he really starts decking you? Rule #1- find some sense elsewhere, if a certain kind of treatment does not feel right, you have to find a way to ensure you are not treated like that again. I'm sorry seeking advice from women esp women from my country will get you in a bad situation. You are looking at people that think a man's stupidity is as a result of your actions. I am a married man and I am disgusted by the responses here. If my sister voiced these issues from her husband's house, the man would have some answering to do. It is up to you to set boundaries, demand respect and stop playing the fool for your MIL. Respect her but don't become a mat just because. As for your husband, he is absolutely shameless.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you anon 4:44
DeleteI wonder why people are telling her to pretend and play the fool while she is obviously hurting. For how long will she pretend and play the fool for her MIL. Will her MIL be happy to hear her own daughter is playing fool in her hubby's house?
Every1 should learn to respect boundires wherever they are. I use to think my MIL was a very nice lady until she lived with us for some months sometime last year. That was when I saw she was a pretender. She calls me pet names infront of hubby, praises me and all that but once hubby leaves, she will turn to a different person( can't begin to tell all I passed through here)
I tried playing the fool initially but I found out it was affecting my happiness. I had to stand up to her one day she was trying to bully me just about 10minutes hubby left home and I told her my mind as gently as I could. She was surprised that this small gorl can talk.
2 of her children were in ours house then and they heard all the insults their mum rained on me, they were shocked. Hubby was more shocked when I told him what I had been passing through all the while.
One of my SIL(bless her) had to mandate MIL to apologise to me or she will never talk to her again. That my SIL later told me that anytime her mum visits her and her hubby, she must cause quarell for them.
I also called my parents in my MIL's presence and reported her to them. My parents called and talked to her. At least if she had forgotten I have a family, she was reminded again that I didn't fall from the sky. She was so ashamed of herself because everyone who use to regard her as a nice,gentle christian lady changed their opinion about her.
Since that last year, she has been on a damage control mission. She now calls me (She had never called me before then,even when I give birth she doesn't call).
Had it been I continued playing the fool for her, would I have gotten my respect from her?
@Poster be wise. Don't allow yourself to be used as a doormat in your home. Be kind to her, respect her, serve her food on time, gist with her, buy her gifts when you can,put her in your prayers, etc but always make it clear you won't take nonesense from anyone. Set a damn BOUNDRY.
As for your hubby who beat you, probably to show his mum he is in charge, I have nothing to say to him now. But don't ever allow him hit you again.
Thank you.
@Genny,that it worked for you is not a guarantee that it will work for her, different strokes for different folks...I dnt support the beating aspect but you can at least advice her to take a step backwards and restrategize to enable her take charge of her home once more...
DeleteGenny dear, thanks for this. Day I told my mother in law I am telling my mother what is going on in my house, her manipulation has stopped and my husband has started becoming the man I married. She used to say don't tell anyone what is going on in my house. I almost died cos of this woman. She acted very nice during her initial visit. And now after almost 6 months, her true self showed......just like smoke...... I told both my husband and her one day during length on their way to church to ask God for forgiveness.
DeleteDear poster, all you need now is patience and tolerance. She will soon return to her home. Stomach all your hubby does for now.
ReplyDeleteSome men like to pretend to be strong in the presence of their relatives thereby 'misbehaving' around them to avoid being called weaklings.
please ignore mama and her antics, they boku everywhere. If your man gets home late, keep quiet and wait till mama leaves before you table the matter.
she isn't going to live with you forever. I have been down that lane, the 2weeks my mil spent at ours when I newly delivered was crazy, my baby was the only person that made me joyful, she nearly sank me into postnatal depression. I found a way around it. Now i am learning to handle her and ignore her antics. Please bear.. Pele
you dey call pastor for mama and son relationship? issorait.
ReplyDeletedear poster, you have to learn to ignore and keep calm.
I hope you have not been mistreating his mum. I hope you don't give her some bad looks. The man may have noticed something bad in you, who knows. It could also be that his mother has been poisoning his mind.
ReplyDeleteAnon 3:42 pm. The way you present yourself could determine how you are treated. I hope you have not been over-leaking her ass.Please if you don't have a job, go and grab one no matter how little they pay. When you leave in the morning and come back in the evening, respect go dey. Waking you up by 5am, that is crossing her boundary . Rose
Poster check your self. I have always preached on this blog about how daughter in-laws should respect their in-laws. You all will become mother in-laws tmr. (most of you) I got married very early, i know what i am talking about ladies. Love your in-laws!!! Don't let your over sabi reach where they are!!! My husband is not even a black man but all the same, in-laws are in-laws all over the world. You can't come in and destroy a family! Make una fear God oh. I will become a mother in-law one day and i don't want the law of karma visiting .
ReplyDeleteMOI shut up ASAP.... How has what has happened showed they want to destroy families? What family when a man is now married? Families should stop interfering in marriages, even if u need to visit don't interfer..... The bible does not make provision for a mothers love to extend to controlling their sons home....... Respect and honour your parents but real men should have boundaries..... Honestly am utterly dissapointed that the women here are the ones vomiting the most rubbish
DeleteI know you guys will say everything is about prayers buh these cases of bad mother-in-law need wisdom and prayers! Wake up in the night for 9 days and talk to God about her, don't wish her bad o just tell God how you feel. Then stop nagging the guy, let him enjoy till his mother leaves or till God chases your MIL back to her husband's house. But our men no dey try sometimes, my hubby is an only son with 4 sister, his father is late too but he ensures that we all know our boundaries. His mum n sisters love me though.
ReplyDeleteBad daughter in-law! You want to stop his mother from visiting??? Ha! YOU ARE A WITCH!!!
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE MAD!!, oloshi!
DeleteWait! Is it me or did I just see the phrase " he beat me". What are you people advising this girl to do? This is ludicrous. Nigeria na wa! A man beats a woman and you are encouraging her to stay. What is that about! His mother might even be fetish. Please is he worth dying for? God hates divorce so I do not encourage it, but please call your family ASAP. This is serious.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I had d same experience ist 3yrs I got married. My MIL suddenly changed cos she was very gud be4 my wedding despite she was d person dt introduced me 2 my hubby being ma mum's school mate. To cut d long story short, wen I had my Ist issue she came 4 omugo cos my mum wasn't in d country she really surprised me by dealing wt me d way I least expected my hubby supported her. Wen I had my second issue same tin happened her prob was just dt I was eating her sons money cos I was just a house wife den forgetting dat I was working in my state b4 I joined her son n had 2 resign cos it was a state job. She even sent 1 of her dotas 2 fight me dat was wen ma hubbyz eyes cleared. He banned her frm cming 2 our house. Bt d truth is dt I never faught my MIL regardless. I still called her on phone, sent some tins 2 her showed her luv u knw. Do u knw she visited last year after several attempt 2 cme d previous yrs failed. I asked my hubby 2 let her come wen I had my last baby she knelt down n begged me said upon all she dd to me dt I paid her bk wt luv. Said it was a friend of hers dat tld her 2 behave like dat cos dotas inlaw too do. can u imagine? I ope u ll learn 1 or 2 tins frm my experience. SHOW HER LOVE if u really luv ur hubby 'her son' she wl change 1day *dat Udi chic*
ReplyDeleteMy own motherinlaw is d worst pretends like hell and cries like d devil. when an issue arises she will want my hubby to take d crap dat the siblings dole out nd expect him to keep quiet 4 peace sake,while d elder bro misbehaves like an old fool expecting my hubby to cater 4 both families,his parents in d village nd other responsibilities.She intends coming over when d daughter puts to bed nd I'm also due in some months time so b4 she starts her wahala,my mom will b around nd even if she intends to stay for weeks,the little time she stays I pray for wisdom to handle watever dat happens. My Motherinlaw pretends,almost caused problem b/w my hubby nd I when I was pregnant 4 my son,so many things I jst don't know where to start from.But God in heaven who sees all dat is hidden never sleeps nor slumber,three of her daughters are going thru hell in their marriages,dat when I look back I jst say to myself dat what u sow is what u reap,let me stop here 4 now.
ReplyDeleteI love my mother so much. She stood by us even in odd situations. Each time l see my MIL, l see my mother in her. What l will not want another woman to do to my mum, l try seriously not to do it to my MIL. It might sound odd, but you can. Dear poster , pls do everything possible to be as peace with her. She is your husbands mother for crying out loud. She went all out to see him be a good man. Men feel so happy seeing their mother be at peace with their wife. Go all out to be at peace with her. Don't feel superior in her presence. Both of you occupy serious positions in the man's life. If you ask most men to choose b/w their wife and mother, they will sharply choose their mother. There can only be one mother. Shine your eyes. How would you want your daughters in inlaw to treat you tomorrow?.
ReplyDeleteI am officially tired. Am I reading what some of you here wrote or is it Wednesday exhaustion that is worrying me. Chineke meh o. Poster God help you. The comments are close to 60 and everyone says you should treat the woman nicely. Stp antagonizing your husband and be a general mumu. Na una sabi. I see why men act the way they do. It's because they can. Tufia! Someone said she should pray for 9 days. My Father has suffered 9 days kwa. African Magic movie juju Tins. God is not an Oracle o. Poster. Seek His face fervently but I'm sorry to say it is your faith that will help you not some prescribed duration. Also when all this is done, biko tell your husband that you will free the house for him if he touches you again. If you can not say it invite your family to warn him. Smh God help us o.
ReplyDeleteAll of you are mad!!! Stella you advocate against DV and you have the guys to ask her to pretend? Show love? Are you all mad? Ha, my mother in-law cannot try this rubbish, ra ra o. When I have my own mother. Did you all read the part that he beat her or you chose to ignore that part. We are all mothers but when our kids marry his wife and kids come first. Why should I go leave in my sons house when I have a house? I can remember when my dad's cousin came to visit and disrespected my mum, she beat the shot outta her, my dad didn't say anything because he knew he sister was wrong. Poster be yourself there is no need pretending. I hope he doesn't hit you again, if he does leave the mofo, your life is more important than any stupid marriage. If she dies now y'all will be the first to ask her why she didn't walk in the first place. Moi you are very stupid for asking her if she is a witch. Oloriburu somebody!!! That is the same way my friend lost her hubby to his family, now he is dead they want to frustrate her and her daughter out of his house. Her mil is the gang leader. You life I repeat is more important!!
ReplyDeleteMy MIL too is d same she talks to me anyhow coz I dnt av a job she has forgotten d days I use to work nd buy her tins she visits every week o nd tells me food she wnts me to prepare for her one day I told my hubby to warn her dats it's wnt I av In My ous dat she will eat,my dear wat will u do if ur brother inlaw leaves in ur ous he dsnt wash his bathroom nd his plate he dsnt even lay his bed I do all coz I wnt peace nd I knw he will leave one day,my advice treat her d way u will treat ur mom welcome her gve her water food lay d bed in d spare room nd tell her whn it's getting late dat u av made her bed incase she wnts to sleep jst play along my dear buh dat beating tin make sure u report him to ur father to so he can talk to him nd warn him not to beat u again or call d police. On him and let him sign an undertaking dat he will never beat u,nd always pray nd pls patience is a virtue biko,
ReplyDeleteD Lord is ur strength my dear poster, I dnt hv probs with my father and mother inlaw but my only problem is my husband's siblings. They are all in their husbands' houses but still won't lemme enjoy my home. And dey don't want to see their own inlaws in their homes, but I knw God is d only judge....It is well
ReplyDeleteD only problem this poster pointed out is "my husband now comes home late n she supports him". My dear poster if dis is all there is to ur situation then I must gv u 90% blame. Ve u sat ur hubby down 2 knw y d sudden late nite movements? 4 all u knw he might ve started doin some xtra jobs 2 make hands meet. Most biz men discuss biz mainly in d evening after general working hours. My dear ur MIL mite b ali2 out of line bt trust me he's just being a mother/woman. My advice, take her out 2 a kul spot if she not so old or prepare her special meal after eating try 2 tlk 2 her as calmly as possible so she cn feel ur pain. Same goes 2 hubby(midnite 2 me is d best time) but most importantly pray hard so he doesn't fall in2 temptation. Gudluck
ReplyDeleteTests baby u are a fool... So u think that will be the first time he will come late? And ur stupid mind is to blame her 90 percent? Mumu that is why men treat some of u like dogs cos u take the blame for their actions....
DeleteKanwulia aka Mgbeketoto is one lady I love so much.... She said and I quote:
ReplyDeleteA man that cannot control his home from MEDDLESOME FAMILY MEMBERS. . . INCLUDING HIS OWN MOTHER IS A WHIMP!
You need to tighten your MATRIMONIAL BELT and teach him some gooooooooooooood lessons.
You really do not have any business with your mother-in-law. . . .
JUST DEAL WITH YOUR HUSBAND. . . like a real woman and stop acting like a WHIMP yourself!
After dealing with him in the house. . . when he sees his mother, he will learn to tell her ONLY 2 SHORT PHRASES.
1. GOOD MORNING MA
2. BYE-BYE MA
Shikena!
hmm. beating fa? thats unacceptable. pls draw the line on that and if it happens again, please leave.
ReplyDeletethat said, hmm some of us do things we cant take. i used to really love my SIL and defend her at home when my mum used to say 'my son married wrong'. infact she's caused most of the fights between my mum and i for the past couple of years. recent events have shown my mum was right all the while. and its saddening.
msg to us all- yes, some MIL are terrible. but do your own part. be kind and respectful. it wont cost you so much.
as for my SIL- by God's grace, your own DIL would do same to you and you would not be able to enter your son's house. note say i no curse u o. na 'its equal to' prayer i pray for you.
Diplomacy is the best way to handle inlaw wahala oo. You have to be very smart, but act very foolish.
ReplyDeleteNo 1 rule never ever ever let anyone know what happens between you and your husband. I.e if he gives you 1k keep it to yourself and if he gives you 1m likewise keep it to yourself.
If he helps you around the house normally, when anyone else is around please ask him to leave it and do it yourself. That is the best time to give him the respect you didn't even give your father.
Cause no one will ever understand that your a couple that's why he's helping you o. They will say you are remote controlling him. So becareful.
No 2. Never ever ever argue or disagree with your MIL. Anything she says your answer should be YES MA while your on your knees!!
If you have any opinion share it with your husband when your alone.
As bad as my MIL was, she always told people that "no matter what you say that I will just be smiling and saying yes ma, meanwhile what I want to do is inside"
No 3. Please why is your husband carrying baby when his mama is around???? You are looking for trouble oo.
No 4. Never question his movement when your inlaws are around. Are you the man in the house? If he likes let him sleep out at that time. It's called patience with expiry date!!
No 5. The most important of all. Spoil your MIL with gifts. Gift doesn't have to be expensive oo. It can be something as simple as (oh mummy I bought groundnut, So you can snack while watching tv). Just show that you care
No 6. Please when she's around let her have TIME with her son without you getting upset!! Remember she's had him with her for decades before you came and took him away. She's allowed to miss him na and want to be with him.
Your MIL is not your husband's girlfriend do not treat her like one!!
If you are lucky and you pally your MIL well, trust me she can rescue you when you least expect. Remember men can stray oo!!!
Note:
Even if you see/hear her cussing you to your face, don't ever ever give attitude! Ignore it and continue to be good. After a while you will become her padi. (My mama thought me this last one) Lol
You guys are all mad !!!! Imagine the nonsense ! Chai , when you got married did you marry him & his mother ?? On your marriage certificate whose names are on it ? It's yourself and your husband alone so why is your mother in law playing the husband role in your marriage ??? You are a very foolish woman , she knows you are weak and has seen you as a prey , don't be fooled by society , if she gives you one you better give a million , if she tries to mess with you then warm her and threaten to deal with her & if she beats you then you beat her up and let her know who is boss , how can someone come to your house and start controlling shit and you too would be acting like an oluku ??? Are you cursed , your husband beat you and you didn't deal with him and his useless mother ? no man born if a woman can lay hands on me an live to tell the story , warn your husband and get your family members involved , let him know that you don't want her around and if he doesn't warn her then you get a restraining order . Call me a bad child , say I will make a bad wife and a bad daughter in law that's your business , it's all you good two shoes that suffer in silence , what you can't take from a stranger why should you take it from a relative ? If your husband returns late then you let him sleep outside , if he lays hands on you then you threaten him with a law suit . It's only in Nigeria that you find women suffering and smiling , here in America nobody can mess with you and get away with it . Open your eyes because some MIL can never change as they are from hell
ReplyDeleteYour obviously not married!!
DeleteWhenever you decide to do, please do it in America and remain in America ooo.
Hahahahaha
omo, u get problem o. i pray your DIL treats u just d way you have recommended o.
Deleteyou sound like a 12 year old gutter/ghetto/ratchet girl.
hian. onidoti, adoju tibi obinrin
People won't stop surprising me!I don't have time for frivolities with my MIL cos she has shown me her real self.some people said the poster should buy her gifts?ok o.when I was buying for my MiL,she will always tell me "them nr dey buy me this kind gift o,cos na me know the one wey I like"(those were her exact words!)So such a person,I should keep wasting my hard earned money?the last gift I bought her was big bag of iron sponge for washing back of pots and plenty morning fresh for doing dishes.make she say she nr need am na she sabi.she is still using the iron sponge till date.those who have it rosy with their MILs,thank your stars.imagine a woman that wants my hubby to cater for the first son who is not serious with his life.so my hubby should leave me and my two dotas to go help his elder bro?when my hubby objected to the fact that he can't leave his family for his elder bro,I became the enemy.I don't call her only for birthdays and xmas and new year.I can't pretend.when she calls she doesn't even ask after her grandkids.that's her problem.me I nr fit use shame swallow razor blade.to each his own!when I give birth to my first child,for 2 weeks,I didn't see her only for her to surface 2 weeks later saying she had catarrh.I said no problem.the second baby,for the first one month,she didn't call sef.abeg lemme stop here.tory too long.
ReplyDeleteHmm. This kia tin tire me abeg. If its not MIL, its SIL. God pls help your daughters. IS IT A CRIME TO MARRIED?.U said in your word that your gift makes good and adds no sorrow. Remove every sorrow in marriage for us IJN. Me am just fade up with this marriage wahala. My elder sister in-inlaw has vowed to see me out of their home just because am yet to give birth. She can lie with anything just to have her way. She can lie for Africa. I have seriously tried to avoid her to no avail. She has instigated her brother and siblings against me in so many oceassions. I gave her a long rope, no show. The worst is that my husband believes everything she says. I can't write all l have gone through in my marriage. She has graduated to calling my mum to insult her because of me oh God. By the grace of God my parents are okey financially. I also work and earn salary. l have only female siblings no male.No one to fight my cause in this marriage. God pls guide me in this decision. I can't take it anymore. This marriage is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I have lost my peace, joy, good friends, dignity etc. He beats me at the slightes provokation, travels for weeks without telling me where he went. I now auffer from emotional swing. Have sleep diaorder and depression all because of this marriage. I pray that the holy spirit will help me stand my ground despite all odds in this final decision. AM GONE NEVER TO LOOK back. Its far better to be single & alive than to be married and die untimely. @singles pls let my story not discourage you there are still beautiful marriages out there.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely marvel at your comments. I really do not blame any of you for them.
ReplyDeleteA mother inlaw has absolutely no right to intrude in matters concerning a couple. Their home is not hers. She is only a visitor.
The bible says "for this course shall a man leave his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife and they two shall become one". Please where did the bible include inlaws in the union of a man and a woman?
Don't get me wrong I am not saying you shouldn't love and respect your inlaws but there is a limit and people should be put in their right places especially when the urgent need arises.
I am very straight forward and do not believe in pretence. My inlaws understood these facts from the very moment I became a member of the family.
Women until you understand these facts, the devil will continue to use human instruments to make you unhappy in your own home.
Your mother inlaw has absolutely no right over your husband, yes he is her son and will always be but from the moment he married you, you became the most important person to him even more important than your children.
The only thing a mother inlaw owes her child are prayers and advice. Her opinion concerning matters affecting the couple should only be given only when requested by them.
This is my 9th year in the school of marriage, blessed with two beautiful sons, loved dearly by my husband and the inlaws are all in their well deserved places.
God forbid I become a mother inlaw who would not mind her bloody business!!!!
My dear pray the intruder out of your home. The home belongs to you, your husband and children period.
I like u very well. Continue to put your inlaws in well deserved place you here.
DeleteDon't worry I pray you don't learn blood is ticker than water the hard way.
When you are in Rome behave like a Roman. This is Africa midia.
I was really expecting a response such as yours. Not surprised at all. Until women learn these facts and emancipate themselves from a mentality such yours, they will continue to endure marriage instead of enjoying it.
DeleteBy the time they know what's happen, they're already 60. Old and grey, absolutely frustrated with life.
Oh what a wasted life in my opinion. Keep saying this is Africa and you will only end up with your entire life in ruins because of some senseless mentality.
Know the truth and it shall set you free!!!
I repeat a mother inlaw or inlaws have ABSOLUTELY no rights whatsoever in the home of a couple!!!!!
Anon 11:57pm, I do not advocate divorce but what you have is not marriage. Some of us have to know the difference between a marriage and you just occupying space. You my dear, you are occupying space. I will not tell you what to do but please catch some sense.
ReplyDelete1 tin I knw,he has raised his hand agaist u,he won't stop. If u wnt to remain in dat marriage,voice out nd warn him(evn if hes feedn ur family) 2ndly gve ur mofo in law a piece of ur mind. I dunno wat u did wrng,but slappn u was a wrng tin to do. But cme to tink of it,is marriage by force? I am a single mum,nd am living a dcent life witout stress. I dnt see me bn a maid cos am married to any1. Wake me up @5am? Am sure she won't even wnt to try dat wit me cos I won't put myslf in d position to be stepped on. Lastly,I sense u r jobless. Get busy!
ReplyDeleteI Love my mother in-law! she takes me as her daughter, in fact we are partners in crime. i'm just lucky or maybe cos am an orphan. God bless her for me.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is from a polygamous home.. My FIL has 5 wives so that's how many MIL's I have.. The 3rd wife has made it her goal to frustrate me as she is the one currently staying with my FIL. She doesn't see anything I do as good and expresses her hatred for me publicly.. Well, I'm not married to her son so I don't care about her or her opinions.. My prayer for her is that her daughters find the breed of woman she is to me.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, My husband's mum has been seperated from him a long time ago. She doesn't have wahala oo! She calls me @ least 4 times a week to pray for me and when she comes visiting, she makes me feel like her daughter, sharing chores and even assisting me in the kitchen.. The last time she came around and her son came home late ( I had gone to bed as I was angry and didn't want to confront him) she stayed awake to wait for him. I woke up to find her scolding him for coming late.. I was surprised and my husband was to bcos I'm sure he was expecting it from me. She is a no nonsense woman and she always says she left my FIL bcos he was proud, arrogant,a wife beater and an unrepentant womanizer.. So she doesn't want any of her sons to end up like him.. I love u mamaT
Dear poster don't mind all this women here forming if he beat me I will give it to him. Story!!!
ReplyDeleteNa their type they beg the man even when he beats them everyday oo.
I do not support physical abuse in any form. But I know if it's just a one time occurrence, there are smart ways to curb it. I like the story of the lady that said she called her parents in front of her MIL. Or better still call him and telL him to never ever lay his hands on you again! If he tries it again, arrange some boys to come home and beat him well, then lovingly nurse him back to health!! That should pass the message.
And I hope you don't have razor mouth too.
I have come to learn that men do not like confrontation. If you want to have your man for life....avoid confrontation and learn to keep quiet when you are extremely angry.
That's the way to true happiness. Don't mind all this how can I be unhappy in my own home comments oo. Real unhappiness will come when your marriage fails. I have been there and trust me no matter how bad the man is, divorce/separation is always difficult. It drains you emotionally, which in turn will affect every aspect of your life. Unless of cause you move on before leaving him. Lol
Yes it's only for a while. But what's the assurance your next MIL won't be worse?
I remember a story my lecturer shared with us back in school. She said they were all on the table eating and her SIL just put hand in her plate and took her meat, and she was like ah it's sweet oo. Then the MIL also put her hand and took the second one. Imagine! The food was from the same pot oo and their own meat was in their plate uneaten. She said she just kept quiet. Meanwhile her husband was there oo and he said nothing. But later that night she said he told her "you are a good wife"
Many times a little patience will solve many things if only we can be patient. Remember this people will not live with you forever!
Choose your battles wisely.
Best of luck!
The answer to dis is very simple. Do u really know ur husband?. If u do u got d solution to ur problems. In my case I know my hubby doesn't like to waste money though he's very rich. So Wat did I do? I started buying my mother inlaw expensive and out of d world gifts. Lol. My hubby sent her home within 2 wks. Lmfao. And each time I ask him let mama come visit he refuses and say ' u want start to lavish my money again. Mk she dey there". Wisdom is truly better dan weapons of warfare
ReplyDeleteI like your comment anon. Apply wisdom poster.You know your husband and MIL better than any of us here, be creative and cunning.
ReplyDeleteI know how i handled mine, which might not work for you because individual differs. You might try it out though:
She should eat what everybody eats in the house, unless she has health issues, in this way, you can demand more money from your husband, if he complains, you would say, but it's for mama. If not at home,put her food in a food warmer and place on the dinner table or in the kitchen and let her know. Prepare very simple meals. Don't overdo to please her because you would be giving her wrong impression that is how you eat everyday or spend her son's money.
Stay in your room when at home and keep yourself busy to avoid too much talking, keep her busy with watching films. If no light, put on the generator for her! By the time your husband buys fuel often, he would start to complain. Tell him you have to entertain mama.
When husband is at home, ignore both of them and go online reading blogs, chatting, there is plenty gossip in SDK blog. Since your husband comes late recently unlike before, [hope he is not trying to escape his mother's presence by the way? some men can pretend for Africa. As you are uncomfortable with her presence, he might also be.} dish out his food and cover it on the dinner table, so immediately he comes in, go to bed and sleep! Your non-nonchalant attitude would surprise him. When he wants to do the do, don't be too eager or responsive, just passive sex for him to cum.
Your MIL said he should stop helping you in the kitchen? That is no problem, stay longer cooking and cleaning in the kitchen while they go hungry waiting for the food!
Your MIL said he is not your baby sitter? No problem. When he wants your attention, quickly get busy with your baby and tell him to hold on, or take your children to any of your friend's house nearby to play. When they ask why, you quietly say, they are distracting you since you have lot of things to do. Or take them to their room and play with them, delaying whatever you planned to do for her and your husband, since she does not know it's her role to play when she comes visiting!
Poster, all is tactics and politely and quietly done!. No quarrel at all. And when you want to vent, come online and let off steam or gossip with your BFF if you have one, because talking helps to heal the anger.
What an epistle!
I love these tactics dear.a 100 million likes
DeleteWakes you up @5:00a.m to do chores?
ReplyDeleteSome MIL do cross their boundaries!
Mine told me similar thing that i should be waking up by 5:00a.m and be preparing break/fast for my husband before he goes to work, and i recently put to bed for that matter! I bluntly told her no way, and went to sleep. Her daughter she was comparing me to, has a maid that does that for her husband!
Funny enough, my husband is not an early eater. He eats from 10:00a.m, because that was how she trained him. But she wanted to try that nonsense with me! If she treated her ex-husbandsss like that, would she not be in a man's house at this her age? What they did not do during their 'wifey' days, they want to implement it on their DILs!
When she makes me angry, i go into my room and let out a long hiss and cuss her inside of me, and i feel better while i put on a false smile, counting the days she would leave.