This is really very sad...a sad update from a blog visitor.
She sent in this mail The Ultimatum To Get Pregnant Or Get Out.......in March 2014 and blog visitors gave her advice but guess what?
She has been dealt a killer punch.
''Greetings toto you Stella and all blogvisitors ,I Am the lady who sent you an
email asking which best hospital I could do IVF...SEE THE POST HERE
Thank you so much because I got information there and I also met people
who told me which hospital to use. I did my pregnancy test after all said and it
was positive.I was so happy that I vowed to share my testimony after
some months only to go back for scan and there was no heart beat.
I cried my eyes out. Now the problem is that my in - laws have done their
worst. They called me two weeks ago to their family meeting to introduce a new wife to me,not only a new wife but with a baby girl.
I fainted because I never saw it coming. We're both born again christians and he's the choirmaster.we don't keep secrets so I never believed it. but at my young age am now yale. [Senior wife}.
Now after spending 2 days @ the clinic I decided to move forward.please stella help me beg my fellow BV please I need work.I used all I had for the ivf and now am stranded.I need a job urgently because that's the only thing that can keep me going. I Have not been working for sometime now all because I wanted to get pregnant by all means but now please my fellow sisters and brothers help me with any opportunity to put my feet
back on the floor. My husband has changed totally even before I was called to the meeting. please help me i am dying in silence. Thank you so much.
O lord! Women r really suffering ooo
ReplyDeleteOh lord! Am actually crying now cos I can't stand it when women are treated like this, but I want you to dust yourself up and punish your in laws and your husband by being the best you can be. Am in the UK so I don't really know how to help but please keep us updated ...
Delete*am out*
Dearie I pity u and I know how u feels! I don't have any job to offer cuz am still a hux wife, but if u are in lagos I will introduce u to one church "global success ministry" in 1st gate fastec town And a mama that use to give native medicine in olodi apapa, she will set ur womb b4 the treatment
DeleteAm so sorry for u dear Poster. The Lord will surprise you in a way you never expected. You should have included your Field of study, age and years of experience. Since you mentioned you've been working before. That way , it will be easy and quickier to get offers. God be with you
DeleteI just said a prayer for you. That's all I can do for you for now, I wish I had the means to help you but I may be more helpless than you are financially. May God open doors for you and also give you babies in Jesus name.
DeleteI really dnt hv much 2 say'But ur hubby is wicked sha.The Lord is on ur side.
DeleteThis is why I advice my fellow women to have clear eyes in this life ooh
DeleteSee,i have an amazing home..I bless God..but I save like someone expecting a Tsunami!! No am not going to leave my home. dont pray for that ooh..butiiiiiiiii
We are sweet now,and my prayer everyday is for God to keep my Man this way..Notwithstanding,i always have a tidy sum somewhere. Talking too much is not an option. It's easy for me to zip my mouth up when necessary cos we were raised to talk less and act when required.
I have hammered it before,If there are properties,and OUR names or the name of OUR child(1 presently) is not on the document,hmmm,wahala dey!
Guys here,feel free to disagree,but with valid and intelligent points.
Dear poster!! God in heaven has seen your struggles,he will be with you now and always...wipe your tears and leave his house for him..You are better than this hun,except your religion accepts polygamy,LEAVE!
Mama, PLEASE DON'T GO TO GLOBAL SUCCESS MINISTRY oooo. I read some nasty stuffs about the pastor on this blog last week. Go back to the post where someone spoke up about a pastor conducting his own virginity test and see for yourself oo. Do not be deceived.
DeleteAMEN.
DeleteWhy are people so impatient??? This evening, On my way back from work, my neighborhood was clouded, people were drinking, playing fireworks, the crowd I saw amazed me that I asked what happened, it was then I learnt that the couple that has been married for 10years without issue put to bed this afternoon TWINS.... EJIMA.... A BOY AND A GIRL.....
DeleteI felt goose pimples over me, it was then it dawned on me that God has a reason for everything so that people might testify and know that he is God.
My dear poster, our bible made us to understand that there is nothing God can't do, in Sirach 2:10, he said he has never disappointed anyone that beckons on him...
Dust yourself up my dear and look unto him the author and finisher of out faith. It is well, he is the tears wiper, he would change your story to testimony and turn your tears into cheers....
Just believe in him. There is a light at the end of the tunnel....
@iphie dearie..thanks for sharing so much, I'm definitely taking points down. @poster..sorry about your loss, pls dust your bum and start all over, as in all over..God doesn't sleep and He will surely bring help your way, Any man that will treat you that way doesn't deserve your love or attention, leave and start afresh
DeleteI said it IVR doesn't work for every one.. wht u need is God my dear sister..job would come.. don't give up.. u. Go for deliverance. My dear all unwanted circumstances should be solely faced with the mind set tht they r only but a passing phase.. problems have expiring date.. while at it, u can control ur mental attitude and thinking process. U have to fight those thought patterns particularly hard. It is best to face them honestly and realize u have to fight ur self against indulging in self- pity and criticism. When ever u find urself griping in ur spirit, having knew u have don ur best, be contented and leave the rest to God's ability, He is the answer provider and the prince of peace.. He alone giveth peace tht surpasses all human understanding... God is neva too late to change ur destiny.. the new gal in the house is. Nothing but a passing phrase. U must testify.. invite God into ur situation. I would suggest SCOAN.
DeleteChidinma igwe pls can I get d address frm d woman in olodi Apapa it's urgent pls thanks
DeletePoster, l'm so sorry. I honestly can't imagine what you are going through. I remember your post back in March and l actually said a prayer for you.
DeleteOnly God can heal your heart. I know it's very hard to find your faith now but believe me, it will get better . I've still waiting on Him for the fruit of the womb after almost 9 years of marriage and there have been times that l thought He has abandoned me but here l am still thanking Him for other blessings in my life. Continue to trust in The Lord. NOTHING compares to the promise we have in Him, NOTHING. Stay strong and you will surely smile very soon , Amen
Chidinma Igwe:
Delete*I know how you FEEL* not *I know how you FEELS*
ONE LOVE!
Yes oh annon 7.53 the church is behind my house and d man had a serious scandal recently nd now his church dat use to be so full is almost empty as many members ran away.Abeg poster no go oh...My own advice is to hold on to God.You can go to MFM prayer ground and pray ur way out.Dose pastors dere are really gifted..May God guide you.Amen.
DeleteJesus
ReplyDeleteYou couldn't get pregnant, you did ivf got pregnant, the baby died and you're here looking for a job? My dear enter the next mfm church
DeleteMen are wicked, very wicked. If it was his dick that couldn't produce children they will expect the woman to support them blindly and some ride or die shit.
ReplyDeleteThis post brought tears to my eyes..I'm pained!!!!
Honestly, wish I can help :(
DeleteI wish I could help either
DeleteDear poster, I pray that God will touch your womb, shame the devil and restore your wasted years with triplets.
DeleteSome men can so yield to family pressure na wa o!
I have a cousin who currently cannot concieve just because the husband has NO sperm count. Am dead sure if she's the one at fault she'd be hearing it by now. Both of them are saving for IVF abi na artificial somthing something now
Men should always exercise patience with their wives especially when it comes to issues relating to conception, you never can tell if your level of faith is being tested by God for future purpose.
It is well with you poster, you will smile soonest.
Please all d ogas @ the top should help this sister, I feel her pains
ReplyDeleteI pray for you from the depth of my heart that the Lord will wipe your tears, he will give you beauty for ashes and make you smile again. I also pray that you find peace in Jesus name (amen). Stories like this hurts...abbaa.
ReplyDeleteAmen!!! @poster may God wipe ue tears.
DeleteAmen! @ poster don't give up just yet, stay put in ur marriage,neva eva stop trusting God
DeleteRudegirl..
Awww poor lady. This is so sad. God is your strength and will definitely fight your battles. It would help if you could specify the kind of jobs that you can do so as to make it easier for people to help.
ReplyDeletePoint of correction, ur husband is not a born again christain. God will compesate you.
ReplyDeleteTo think some men stay through thick and thin..
DeleteHumans can be so shortsighted..God will lift your head,eventually.Trust me.
You will testify and laugh last in Jesus's name.
Point of correction, ur husband is not a born again christain. God will compesate you.
ReplyDeleteThe lord is ur strength, all this stories makes me wonder sometimes. Ooo Ije Uwa. Pray for the Lord to change ur condition. Cos he makes a way where there is no way.
ReplyDeleteVisit cn2parts.com
Get a divorce and leave this family alone. God has been telling you. Giving you all sorts of warning signs, you refused. Leave this guy alone, why do some people like to be miserable? Is he the only man in the world?
ReplyDeleteSweetheart I know it feels like your life is over even before it starts. I know what it feels like to suffer a miscarriage and even have to wait for a baby. 24hours in a day seems like 3months! It's a harrowing experience no woman should go through but unfortunately some must. Don't abandon your marriage just yet, divorce should be the last opinion when you've tried all you can or when your life is at stake. Go back to God and cry to him for Justice. Forget the fact that there is another woman and a baby, in the sight of God you are the true wife and the lady is an interloper. Don't be too hard on your hubby, even the best of Christians buckle under pressure and fall for temptations. Don't give up just yet, keep praying. If it's God's will, you will have a son that will remove the garment of reproach from you and you'll be amazed at the speed these same in-laws will decamp to your side. Some men may love their wives but the family hold on them may be too strong especially young men who aren't financially stable. I don't see your case as hopeless. Sometimes in life you have to sacrifice a lot but it will be worth it at the end. God never takes you to where His Grace can't protect you. Don't give up honey
DeleteGod bless you. My sentiments exactly. Why stay where you are not wanted? God forbid. This one life one will use it to be suffering needlessly. Or u believe if you leave you won't get a better place? Or a better Man? It is well o.
DeleteWalahi,d man is not loyal at all,so what of couples that waited on each other for 15_20yrs before God finally smiled on them?are they super humans?hmmmm dats y it's gud to marry a man dat deeply loves u!this one married u to produce children so he will naturally react dis way if his purpose isn't fulfilled.it seem true love sank with the ship titanic,dia is no more true love in this world.@poster wish I could help u with a job,but I believe God will see u thru,bless u with a child of ur own and he and his new wife will part ways.just hold on,keep trying and pray deep' prayers.i....cos even if u leave now,d stigma dat u cannot conceive will still be there,and trust other men to capitalise on it.it is well!
DeleteIf its the man that was at fault, the in-laws would expect the woman to be patient and prayerful!
DeleteThe iyawo that is so happy to have a child for a married man and be a 2nd wife, I pity her o! Because she would ever be grovelling at the feet of these useless set of in-laws that her marriage would not be enjoyable and happy for her! Let her go and ask subordinate wives what they are going through!
Poster, WEEP NO MORE!!!
STAND UP, DUST YOURSELF, LEAVE THEM ALONE AND CONCENTRATE ON YOURSELF!
I pray you get a job through any kind-heartes BV here. Amen.
ANGELRAY SAYS
ReplyDeleteSo sorry abt ur situation,ur husband does not love u anymore and marriage is not a do or die, is better u walk away than to die in silence, born again no born again ko.
OMG dis is really sad. I really wish I could help. Poster God will see u through and He will send u de help u need.
ReplyDeleteKai! I remember this story. But it's not yet November, so they've not kept up their side of the deal.
ReplyDeleteThey've already brought in a second wife with a baby in tow! That means they were just pretending to fulfil all righteousness!
I feel so sad for you! Why do people feel they can lord it over others in this way? Why do they feel they hold another's destiny in their hands?
My dear, The Lord, who hates any form of injustice, will come to your aid. I wish I could help in a tangible way, but my prayer for you is that God will arise on your behalf and fight this battle for you.
It is well with your soul!
They didn't believe she would get pregnant. Wicked family. God will vindicate you ma'am.
DeleteWhat's your field of study and do u have any working experience?
ReplyDeleteI'm not the poster but please I also need a job urgently. I have working experience. I have an MSc qualification (distinction). I'm currently working for a small unstructured firm in Lagos but haven't been paid any salary since April. I'v been sending applications via job sites, attended a few interviews, written a couple of tests but nothing yet. Please help me...I have applied to a few job openings on Nigeriabestjobs.com. Please can I send my cv to you through Stella in confidence. Or would you prefer a different medium?
DeleteGosh!! This is so sad!! This kinda story hit home for me cos I have a sis in this kinda issue though her hubby's families are conservatives...
ReplyDeleteMy dear, we need to know your level of education and qualifications as well.
Gen 25:21: "Now Isaac pleaded with the Lord for his wife, because she was barren; and the Lord granted his plea, and Rebekah his wife conceived"
Exodus 23: 26: "No one shall suffer miscarriage or be barren in your land; I will fulfill the number of your days."
Deut 7:14 "You shall be blessed above all peoples; there shall not be a male or female barren among you or among your livestock."
2 Kings 2:21
Then he went out to the source of the water, and cast in the salt there, and said, “Thus says the Lord: ‘I have healed this water; from it there shall be no more death or barrenness.’”
Psalm 113:9
He grants the barren woman a home, Like a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord!
I pray for you, that God will restore your joy! God will make you smile again..The shame and tears you have gone through will be cause for your happiness..You will carry your own children with or without your present husband! All these I pray with my heart in the Mighty name of Jesus Christ!
Please keep these verses and keep confessing them. xoxo!! bear hug!!!
Ameeeen. Sad story
DeleteAMEN!!!!!
DeleteAww truthteller may the lord bless u too..
U spoke the right scripture to her.
Poster, the good Lord whom I serve will surely see you through..
This year 2014, I will urge you to trust God with your life. It's 5months to the end of this, God can still do itt.. Cos he's word never return back to him void. That is the promise he has given us his children and his friend.
Joshua 1 :9 - Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage, be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
Isa 44:2 - Thus saith the Lord that made thee and formed thee from the womb, which will help thee: Fear not o jacob, my servant and thou Jesurum whom I have chosen.
Psm 62:5- Your soul wait thou upon God; for your expectation is from him.
Poster, the word of God in Psalm 40:1 shall come to pass in your life this year in the name of Jesus. AMEN!
Born again taking a second wife and even having a child out of wedlock.
ReplyDeleteI thought marriage was for better for worst.
I feel for you poster.
Don't relent.
Keep praying until something happens
This story is so sad! I don't even know what to say, please don't be hurt my dear, please God in heaven is going to heal you, really sorry to deviate ladies this is the time to pray, pray without season, just keep praying especially if you getting hitched, forget love now you have to ask God if the man your with is the one he chose for you, like the previous post that asks has anyone ever broken up with you without telling you why? Lool sometimes that's God giving you an answer, sometimes the fact that there is an unexplainable problem from nowhere is an answer, dear poster your story made me feel pain deep inside but also made me understand that God works in mysterious ways, his ways are not our ways the best part from most of the comments on that post is that most of the people who were totally ignored by one ex got the best,loving,caring men afterall. Really sorry to deviate poster you must really be hurting seeing you put your all in that marriage especially sacrificing for the ivf, I think it's best you go on your knees now and ask him to reveal his real plan and purpose in your life, You'll be amazed at the way things would turn out and you'll look back and say thank you God. Please be strong.
ReplyDeleteI read your message with tears running down my cheeks...my sister, all i can say to you is to hold on to God as this is and will never be the end of your life...
ReplyDeleteIts not the first to take one to court that wins a case
In the case of Abraham, the man of God, even with the consent of his wife "sarah" to impregnate their help "hagar"... At God's own appointed time, God still Remembered&Blessed sarah...
Though i don't wish for you to go through half of what sarah went through, but at the same time i need you to prepare your mind for the unexpected..#Sighs
*Your husband should just be at alert on the "Ishmael" he is about to breed, so he/she doesn't be his greatest bane in life...
Its well darling!
Job i have not to offer, but what i have i will forever offer to you which is PRAYERS until you carry a baby from your womb in your arms.
#YourLegacyLivesOnProfDoraAkunyili*7/6/14
*Prayer For Nigeria in Distress x10 Daily*
Nice 1 SDK bouncer,yu said it all. EVE E UME
DeleteI too will take it upon myself to keep praying for you. Ah.. That man is evil. O Lord intervene in this matter. It aches my heart so much.
DeleteOMG yeah i remember that story ooo Eeya am so sorry to hear this. But na wa for some men o a.k.a (born again indeed) not everybody who goes to church and holds a position is a born again. May God see you through. If you are in lagos drop your cv with those consulting firms they do recruitment alot.
ReplyDeleteOk no heartbeat meaning and what happened how many months were you into the pregnancy ?
ReplyDeleteOde ni e, does it matter?
DeleteVery insensitive question. You don't know at 4 week which is 6 weeks doctors time, there is a hear beat? Because you abort at that time you don't know you be been committing murder...
DeleteHmmmmn!
ReplyDeleteNa real war.
Most nig men enter marriage solely bcos of kids.
I really feel sorry for d poster.
U went thru all dis IVF trouble all by yourself n using up all ur personal funds.
Madam, don't u av families?
Isn't it time for u to take a break frm all of dese?
Am tempted to ask u to pick som of ur personal stuff, and go stay wit a relative.
Give ursef time to tink wit a clear head, do u want to compete wit anoda woman in ur own hom? Can u stand d cry of a baby wich isn't urs wen it finally arrives?
Save ursef dis depression.
Its a good tin u don't av a baby yet, u can stat afresh.
But rememba pinkshell isn't married, mayb I don't really no wat am saying. #Adunno?!
Wedding rice dey sweet(esp wit bayleaf) but I cant say d same for most marriages. #Kpele
Gbam!!..
DeleteI agree.
DeleteIt would be an emotional torture to be in the same house.
If your parents are alive, go there.
When you get a job, rent a room and live alone BUT don't give your husband and his new wife the joy of divorce.
Believe me, your husband would seek you out and keep the iyawo at home to be breeding. Enjoy it when he comes visiting because it would look as if he is courting you all over again, while the iyawo would be doing all the wifey and on law duty.
Please, when you do get the job which I strongly believe you will, save and adopt a child of yours.
God be with you.
leave that house (when you can). you dont need such people in your life.
ReplyDeleteOnly Nigerians can put up with such crap....wtf!
Oh my God!
ReplyDeleteWhat a useless husband you have got, xtian indeed!
So you will all be living together? No regard for you at all.
God will sort you out but I doubt if I can stay in that sort of marriage.
They will keep using the other lady to spite you.
You forgot to put your qualification/ discipline so that one can consider where you can fit in.
Pele dear, it is well.
Oh LORD please see your daughter through, I don't know what to say....
Delete#sad
The only thing I can say right now is that I don't think ur husband really loved u. How could he let his family control him? Some men r really weak. If he did love u he would have stood by u through the trying times.
ReplyDeleteAnd ur inlaws r wicked. God is the giver of children not man.
God I know and believe that u will give me the best husband and inlaws.
His family members that ganged up against you will live to regret their actions.
DeletePlease iv been aving issues with my boyfriend for some days now, he's d one at fault tho...D tin is I got really pissed dt i sent him a nasty text msg, now he hasn't called me for days, I'm dying inside, now I'm thinking of calling him...Pls advice me on wat to do
ReplyDeleteAdvice you for what na! Abeg park well your issues doesnt make any sense.
DeleteHumble urself, call him and apologise, remind him of d good times u shared. ONLY if he's worth it, good to u, responsible and ur dream husband, not perfect though but selfless and sacrificing for you
DeleteAbeg don't bother us jare. We are discussing serious business here
DeleteU are not married yet and u want to be begging a man? If u know he is wrong leave him alone.... Women like to cheapen themselves cos of I must marry syndrome....save ur mumu for marriage not before....
DeleteOMG!!! I know this hurts more than words can explain but madam God is your strength through this trying time. I have to say your hubby is a fake,a pretender and very insensitive to your plight just imagine! Most of these guys forming holy holy in church na dem bad pass
ReplyDeleteJust like a post I saw on Bellas blog, on Pastors misleading ladies on marriage! That he is religious an ardent church goer doesnt make him a good man! Poor u! I pray you get a job soon~
ReplyDeleteMadam so sorry for what happened. Something better is waiting for you in front. Goodluck.
ReplyDeleteSome girls can just be mean...Jeez!!!
ReplyDeleteBeing a married man's side chick like men have all finished in the world??? Been devastated after reading this post, still beats my imaginations that one prefers to be happy to the detriment of another, her fellow woman for that matter...we women are always our own enemies maka chi....i know some will come and say she may not know the guy is married et al but that's pure crap!!!
Mind you second girlie incase you are rejoicing/celebrating already that being pregnant now ain't a pure guarantee of a long lasting marriage ooooo cos same scorpion which stung the first wife will still sting you if time is not taken..
*Dear poster please, i like the idea of you wanting to move on and stay focused by looking for a Job, though it may not heal the injury 100% but will help to soothe the pains...... Children will come...even after your "Hagar"(2nd wife) delivers, accept the innocent baby whole heartedly like is yours and you will be surprise how it works like magic experiencing the secret of babies attracting babies..
Your womb is warming up for the greater and bigger manifestation of God's Testimony....
After then all your Test will turn into a Testimony
Your Tears into cheers
Your Mess into a message
Your disappointment into an appointment....
If only you will believe and persist in the protection&dwelling place of the most high your God. Amen!
May God forgive your inlaws for they know not what they are doing.... It is well darling....love you xoxooxoxooxoxoo((((1degree_hugs)))
#YourLegacyLivesOnProfDoraAkunyili*7/6/14
*Prayer For Nigeria in Distress x10 Daily*
Eeyah, sorry for your predicament poster.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, i know this might sound some how, but have u actually established that d fault is from u (i know u said he brought home a baby, but all d same).
Fact of the matter is that cases like your's are quite common both in movies and real life. Just try to remain positive and prayerful and God will make you laugh last and longest.
Also, try and be cordial to both your husband and new wife, whilst focusing on your God.
Finally, as painful as this might sound, if ur husband/his family eventually ask u to leave, pls don't hesitate. It is possible u 2 aren't spiritually compartible or God has better plans for you. So sorry, pele
Click my name for all your celebration cakes and cupcakes, cheers
Stupid comment! Fault is from her? She be God? Or does that give the husband audacity to bring in anoda wife? Smh.poster...God will fight ur battles.he sees all
DeleteSassylicious
Madam,pls don't despair. Dis is comin frm sm1 who gav up of ever getting pregnant, but Jehovah proved himself. Pls kip having sex wit ur hubby, sm ppl r very fertile imidiately after miscariage. For job, u cn pik up anytin handy lik teaching jst to ease ur pain and b occupied. Be strong notin when hot when no dey cold. Hugsss dear
ReplyDelete#crying# may God comfort u,this is a big trying time for u,u must overcome IJN!
ReplyDeleteGOD WILL SURELY SEE YOU THRU. WHAT'S YOUR DISCIPLINE AND QUALIFICATION.
ReplyDeleteAm just short of words! I don't know what to say. May the good Lord console u and mend ur broken heart.
ReplyDeleteI really don't know what to say... But men are wicked sha....God will give u a very good job, my advice is, if u want to leave the marriage because of what happened, u can think of relocating to a better country after u get a job and have saved... Very painful story....but sister when there is life there is hope... Just keep ur mind open and positive... U will be fine , u will see.
ReplyDeletewhile many of Us Here are crying för our own husband. dear lord you know all. wipe her tears and show her you are ever and always faithful.
ReplyDeleteDear just keep praying. I'm sure someone here would help you.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, have you been trying to score with that lady? Like get laid and it seems impossible.. Well Moby always tell it as it is. Check out these tips, try it and then thank me later
http://www.mylifeasmoby.com/2014/07/tips-to-help-you-get-laid-18.html?m=1
Chai. Some people go through alot of problems oh. And yet some of us keep complaining and never remember to thank God for where we are or what we have. It is well dear BV.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly Y i advised men to stay away from their family after marriage all these Family pressures people and their drama.
ReplyDeleteOMG!!! I really wish I cld help. *Tearing eyes* this is so unfair,so such thins stil happen. I dnt kn what advice to give, bcos u are obviously stil in love wit ur husband and marriage. Pls put ursef together and stay happy. The lord is ur strength! Pls BV shld come help her out. I wish you well my dear. STAY PUT!!!
ReplyDeleteSo sad.
ReplyDeleteI cant believe am shedding tears on dis story. Dear BV,,God is ur strength.He will surely see you thru and those wicked in-laws of urs will still come back to apologise for their wrong deeds. Do not join issues with that new wife ooo,,,dont even try reporting ur hubby in church cos they will only make you more miserable.speak with ur hubby IF he wants to speak with you. Do not force him to speak,laugh or play with you or else he will take advantage of that to humiliate you.Leave them for God and watch HIM fight this battle to the end making you victorious.Go out,,visit friends,,dress well,,do not look sad/moody(its not easy i know),,,be happy,,ignore ur hubby and new wife,,,make them confused on ur case....and on the spiritual level,,,tell God u are the first and legal wife and no one should put your marriage asunder.HOLD GOD WITH HIS WORDS(WHATSOEVER THE LORD HAS JOINED TOGETHER,,LET NO MAN PUT ASSUNDER) and watch him scatter the union of ur hubby with that strange woman,,,irrespective of the fact that she already has a child for him....Pls stay strong,,keep praying and if need be....you may stay with ur mum for a while so as to get over all these. Keep making efforts to conceive and u never can tell,,,ur next pregnancy may just happen naturally...God bless you and heal you.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your prayers my dear,but should she really stay with him? I don't know.I for one can not do it.I would rather start afresh on my own,just me and my God.
DeleteI cant believe am shedding tears on dis story. Dear BV,,God is ur strength.He will surely see you thru and those wicked in-laws of urs will still come back to apologise for their wrong deeds. Do not join issues with that new wife ooo,,,dont even try reporting ur hubby in church cos they will only make you more miserable.speak with ur hubby IF he wants to speak with you. Do not force him to speak,laugh or play with you or else he will take advantage of that to humiliate you.Leave them for God and watch HIM fight this battle to the end making you victorious.Go out,,visit friends,,dress well,,do not look sad/moody(its not easy i know),,,be happy,,ignore ur hubby and new wife,,,make them confused on ur case....and on the spiritual level,,,tell God u are the first and legal wife and no one should put your marriage asunder.HOLD GOD WITH HIS WORDS(WHATSOEVER THE LORD HAS JOINED TOGETHER,,LET NO MAN PUT ASSUNDER) and watch him scatter the union of ur hubby with that strange woman,,,irrespective of the fact that she already has a child for him....Pls stay strong,,keep praying and if need be....you may stay with ur mum for a while so as to get over all these. Keep making efforts to conceive and u never can tell,,,ur next pregnancy may just happen naturally...God bless you and heal you.
ReplyDeleteAm so teary right now,pls Poster if u know u can't cope in that house,I suggest u move out b4 depression will kill u.Just give them space abeg rather than die in silence unless u r ok wt dat then u can stay.
DeleteI Pray 4 Holy Spirit to direct u.
So Much Pain
So sad poster God will see you through!
ReplyDeleteGod why give it 2 me when she needs it more.I wish i cld give u my one mth old pregnancy. I hv a lot on my hands now plus two kids. I dont need another baby now.
ReplyDeleteI pray u get a job n also deliver safely. U should live 4 u n ur baby that man no follow @ all. Born again my left butt cheek!
ReplyDeleteRead the story.again
Deleteshe lost the pregnancy..
I later realized. U r truly a Fab Mum.
DeleteMy dear, it's better u leave d man alone n move on with ur life. I tell my hubby I can condone anything but d day another woman gets pregnant for him not even has a child oooo n I get to know, Ehnehn, that's d end oooo. He has no more love for u. Just move on instead of punishing urself unless u want dey act film inside d house shaa
ReplyDeletekindly forward your Resume' to me at saudrey66@yahoo.com
ReplyDeletekindly forward your Resume' to me at saudrey66@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteYour husband was not born again but burn against. Ask the HOly Spirit what step to take next please.
ReplyDeleteYeye man, this are the kind of people that will succumb if they miss rapture and give others away. God Forbid such nonsense man. Maybe he was jazzed. who knows. pray hard you will get to the root cause.
Madam calm down, you hear.Im happy very happy reading this post because this is another opportunity for God to be glorified.Madam I am laughing because the labour ward is not as far as you think.Madam just take it easy and be calm because God is not asleep.The bible says the first shall become the last and vice versa.Madam you will become the first IJN.you will have children, that you will beg God that it's okay.your case would be better than that of Rachel and Hannah.Madam I'm really glad at this post because when you start laughing you wouldn't stop.Madam just start praising God because he has done it for you, adore and worship him because that second woman has come to take your problems and not your joy.Madam be calm,enjoy life and get a job.now the pressure is off, you can now do things at your own pace and at your time.your in laws are now focused on the new baby and wife,so they would leave you the hell alone! Take it easy ooo and forget depression because it's not of God.Women in menopause give birth not to talk of you that I'm guessing is healthy.please praise God and enjoy life because when your children come na work be that oo.Forgive your husband, not every man has the strength to withstand family pressure.He just caved in and God would en his eyes soon.it is well!
ReplyDelete@ nigeria best jobs i've bin trying to oprn your site since morning but to no avail, what's happening?
ReplyDeleteI have gone all emotional on this story like i know this BV. They couldnt even wait for their ultimatum to lapse before delivering judgement.Is 4 years too long??Have they concluded u cant ever have your own children???And ur hubby,,the bornagain xtian and choir director forgot totally about God and HIS rules of marriage in all these?? You went thru the pains and expenses of IVF all alone with no support from anyone except ur mum???And that new wife thinks she will find lasting happiness in another woman's home and at the detriment of her happiness???So many questions on my mind.....Dear BV,,u will carry ur own child and ur mum will live to nurse ur children IJN. The Lord will give you beauty for ur ashes,,strength for ur meekness,,gladness for ur mourning and peace of mind.It is well....
ReplyDeleteI have gone all emotional on this story like i know this BV. They couldnt even wait for their ultimatum to lapse before delivering judgement.Is 4 years too long??Have they concluded u cant ever have your own children???And ur hubby,,the bornagain xtian and choir director forgot totally about God and HIS rules of marriage in all these?? You went thru the pains and expenses of IVF all alone with no support from anyone except ur mum???And that new wife thinks she will find lasting happiness in another woman's home and at the detriment of her happiness???So many questions on my mind.....Dear BV,,u will carry ur own child and ur mum will live to nurse ur children IJN. The Lord will give you beauty for ur ashes,,strength for ur meekness,,gladness for ur mourning and peace of mind.It is well....
ReplyDeleteGod hear ur daughter who has put her trust in You.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I dont know why men act like that. a friend of mine has left his house for 5months now cos of a quarrel he had with his wife after 10yrs of marriage with no child. he is a born again too. His house is one of the fellowship center of his church. so u can imagine his knowledge of God. This my friend has not seen his wife and careless about it. instead he has so many young girls he sleeps with. he wants to impregnate one of them. i ve preached to him severally but he is determined to achieve that before he goes back home. i feel for his wife most times but she seems not bothered cos she did several abortions for him while dating putting the blame on him. i pray God touches his heart.
Silver and Gold have I not, but a simple prayer was said from my heart to God on your behalf, before 2014 runs out, your joys shall have no boundaries, those that mocked you will rejoice with you. Your God shall remember you for good.
DeleteJesu Kristi !!!!! Some can have kids every year, some are aborting yearly or quarterly and some will all possible to have just one !!!! What a world we live in ( person Wey get cap no get head to wear am and person Wey get head no get cap ) cruel world
ReplyDeleteSome will ***** do all possible to have just one .. Typo
Deleteu made dat post jst dis year i think and d nu wife has a baby grls alredy or is she still pregnant???does dat min ur hubby has bin cheatn?i jst cnt digest dis..m so paind and mad here.y do women hav to go thru dis?y y y?and ur inlaws are so wicked.i hope dia dautas go thru dis humilatn..it ll neva b well wt dem.btw ur hubby is no born again,so mch for a choirmster.guess d devil ll jst smile wen he sings...God is ur strent poster...hold on to him firmly......i luv u loads........jenny
ReplyDeleteMay God dry ur tears ijn**wipes tear**
ReplyDeleteChei!!!! God o!!! Lord what is this? Look upon ur daughter with the eye of mercy and help her in this her time of need.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I've vowed to wait until I have a good job and I'm a bit settled before I accept any man's surname. God please hear my prayers and give me a job.
Aswear your inlaws will respect you..but if you are the type that waits for their son before you can eat or clothe yourself, ure on a long thing. I say a big amen to your prayers
Delete@tomiwealth thanks a lot. That's the way forward.
DeleteMay God give you undeniable happiness soonest!!
ReplyDeleteThis is sad but time no dey to dey siddown dey cry. Some of us have seen this. Let me give you a testimony. Hubby and his folks decided that my womb was taking too long to produce a child and he went and brought in another woman and child. I quietly gave them space as he had committed adultery and was now forming a new family. I dusted my self, my family asked me to move back in...I finished school (the school that he promised to help me with but changed his mind). I got a job and I am now a mother. This man is not your husband dear, do not waste your time fighting over someone that isn't ready to fight for you. Don't pray evil for the other woman either, she did not offend you...it is the man that you married that is at fault. Your inlaws are not at fault either, your husband was not man enough to stand by you. Trust me, no one can push a grown man to do what is not in his heart. Get yourself together and count this as a blessing ok. God loves you and your story will be a sweet one. Just don't sit there trying to force your way into this man's life. No carry Naija man matter for head ok. Not all of them are worth it and honestly, your "husband" is one of those that you should not even cry about.
ReplyDeleteWell said. Thank you. You are actually not wanted in his life and his family. Do not burn ashes cos of him. Leave now and make A MEANING of your life. Its cry time- please cry, starve but come out of it. Be with family that means well for you, friends that have got your back. Make your life worth living. No man, I repeat, no Man should treat a woman like shit! My dear take a walk. It's a beautiful thing children are not involved. Take a walk and be assertive to make it. You have a lot to give and you will eventually meet a man that will treasure you no matter what. Make up your mind fast and take a walk. God bless you!
Delete@ sleek reek, is it that easy? Do not speak in her own house except she is spoken to, depression kills, some people you see in psychiatric homes had similar issues and flipped.Her life is more precious than this joke she calls marriage.
ReplyDeleteThe least the fool you call a husband could have done is get an apartment for the desperado 2nd wife. Don't you think they are indirectly trying to frustrate her into moving out? In this day and age you bring another woman to join your wife? Please let's be realistic.
Stella I posted this earlier but you didn't post it. Here it is again
ReplyDelete0ne year renewable employment opportunity for fresh graduate of economics or accounting as a cost control assistant for engineering company in lekki.may be serving at the moment. attractive remuneration package and contract will be renewable based on performance. if interested pls forward resumes to Tanitoluwa.akinbode@oceon-group.com.
Just sent you my resume.
Deletesorry for your situation sister..
ReplyDeleteplease wipe your tears, hold your head high and move back in with your mother or relatives.
staying in a marriage where you are unhappy is a slow form of death... God has his reasons for everything.
do not stay in the same home with the other woman. dont share your husband with her.
if you got married in a church you should ask for a divorce. leave that man and his evil relatives.
hold your head high sister, do not give anyone the power to make you cry. God has better plans for you, where your children will grow up in a more loving family. Please leave before they kill you.
ways and opportunities will open up for you. Take this first step.
This is why i always preach make your own money, madam if you had good money now you would have just rented a cute apartment in one nice place and just dey chop life go. Your husband no do well at all. To me what you have can no longer be called a marriage.
ReplyDeletestories like this make me so scared of marriage* no be say i don see husband o*. We all can't be the same cos are hormones differ, i know of a lady that got married a virgin and dis is the 8th year of her marriage no issue. Lord have mercy on me as I've not seen husband, let me be seeing money cos i have to console myself with something Poster may God give you the hrt to bare watever challenge your facing now i advice
ReplyDelete1. Don't just live your marriage cos of this unless your hubby and his ppl persist then you can give them space i knw it hurts like silly but if you can stay,pls do and keep begging God for a miracle, look your best dis period, if your on the big side start gym,go out meet people, join clubs and i hate to say this but i will change for church if you can and look for things to kip you busy.
It is so sad what you just experienced in marriage, But my dear, you have to let go and let God use your life as a big testimony. I don't know if you still want to get pregnant but if you want to, don't seek the help of man again, seek God, he is the giver of good gifts. You will surely testify soon and concerning that job, God will give you a wonderful job. Don't hate your husband, pray for him and love the new baby. Yoruba says "Ori omo lo pe omo wa ye"but i believe Ola oluwa lo mu ni yan gan. You will have your own children soonest and the stone which the builder's rejected will become the corner stone. Just relax and remember God will never forsake you in Jesus Christ name, Amen.
ReplyDeleteI have said it time without numbers, women need to stop building their world around men. The Bible tells us to trust no man.
ReplyDeletePlease dear, wipe your tears, God will provide you with a good job. For your sanity, be in peace with your husband and the new wife, who knows, you may get pregnant naturally. If not,you can adopt a girl when you are financially stable. Take good care of yourself and enjoy this world like there is no tomorrow. I would have loved to give you various examples, but some ignorant kids on this blog may feel I manufacture them. My profession has exposed me to many marital issues. Take my advice, you will never regret it.
As for whether God will deal with anyone, I don't know, but rather than praying against people, pray for God's joy, peace and other desired blessings in your life. Rose
Marriage has so many issues oo, just take this as one of them, u already got lots of good advice, work and make money, enjoy this life o, its too short. Live well with your husband most men would do the same sadly. In marriage and life you learn to roll with the punches. You will overcome. Keep trying to get pregnant, one thing i have seen in this life is that God hears our deepest cries and answers it but you must want this for you not for anybody else!!!
ReplyDeleteNot even sure getting pregnant will solve your problem right now. You don't want to bring a child into a loveless marriage. Focus on getting that job and gaining financial freedom. May the good lord order your steps.
ReplyDeleteBaby girl why dont u try surrogate ehen. .it seems u cant carry children. .m not saying u shuldnt trust in God ooo...but at d end of d day na pikin be ur only share from life. .be open minded..life is too damn short to not be happy or live miserably. .its better to be single and happy than married and miserable. #Gbam#
ReplyDeleteUr comment is the most stupid here.... Did she tell u they gave her any diagnosis from the hospital that she cannot carry a child? What in her story gave u that impression? Nothing wrong with surrogate or adoption but for ur mind to think that she cannot carry a child just from the story here is just plain stupid and ignorant
DeletePls do surrogate....marriage is not the beginning and end of ones life....maybe u cant carry a child. .why not let someone else carry it...as for that man...hmmmm...left him alone(fair weather husband).....its better to be single and happy dan married and miserable. ..
ReplyDelete..
I feel for you my sister after reading your story. God will surely vindicate you, as christians divorce in marriage is not the solution. Try and move closer to God now and you will see how he will mend ur marriage.and how the strange woman will pack her load. God is the giver of children,he is the same yesterday, today and forever. If he gave sarah, hanah and the remaing women in the bible children he will surely do yours in due time and come in a bigger way as long as you hold on to him. Don't worry it is well with you in jesus name.
ReplyDeletePoster pls wipe your tears
ReplyDeleteThe God that did it for Hannah , Sarah and Elizabeth is still at work .
He will do it for you .
Your husband has gotten himself an Ismeal.
May he not miss his Isaac.
Pls forgive him and the new wife, treat them well.
Whenever you want to cry , and release your pain to God!
Let your heart and hands be clean
And see how God will give you a beautiful surprise.
I don't know why nigerian women keep on suffering, wat are you still doing there, he as already committed adultery , so u can divorce him on this ground, if you get too depressed and die, life will go on for all of them, please my dear think well.
ReplyDeleteI feel so sad and sorry for u my dear, the things we women see in marriage. Hmmmmm
DeleteWoman why weeping u?rejoice woman,God always using things we dont like to blessing us in this our mothers nature oki?hold on to ur faith in Christ Jesus only oki?
ReplyDeleteshow that ur fellow wife and de kid much love as u can wish oki?,with that and by doing such God in heaven will use that ur open heart to open ur womb and bless u much with many children,never hate or discriminate in our mothers nature,dont know about ur faith,becos not every one that called JESUS in mouth love and believed in Christ Jesus,,but do this and see how the heaven will open for ur good heart and faith,forget my gramma nd do as i have told u,i chop my school fees,but patients must take u there soon,if is not truth i will never tell,eat less nd pray much,ur season of joy in here,dats my gifts for u now,,may contact stella if spirit leads,from swiss
Remember about sarah and our father Abraham,,who knows what may happen if Sarah did not sacrifice her joy and happiness to her maid,,show much love to ur husband,new wife and kid now,getting job may be very much good as an idol mind,but dont complicate things,,,for the ways of men are never the way of God,,dats de reason i am praying for God to give me my own wife so dat i will always being there for her incase of this ur storry come by,mama nd papa pls i no go marry dat woman u guys brought for me abeg,from swiss again
ReplyDeleteRemember about sarah and our father Abraham,,who knows what may happen if Sarah did not sacrifice her joy and happiness to her maid,,show much love to ur husband,new wife and kid now,getting job may be very much good as an idol mind,but dont complicate things,,,for the ways of men are never the way of God,,dats de reason i am praying for God to give me my own wife so dat i will always being there for her incase of this ur storry come by,mama nd papa pls i no go marry dat woman u guys brought for me abeg,from swiss again
ReplyDeletecouldn't help the tears, this is not right at all...Lord, please help this lady.
ReplyDeleteMay d lord wipe away ur tears
ReplyDeleteSome of you are WICKED. she should stay and do what? The man has brought in a woman and a child, so she should stay and be their maid? Tufia for some of you. The man has given her walking papers. God has saved you from an evil man.
ReplyDeleteSaddest story I have ever read on this blog... God will remember you in a way that your enemies (husband inclusive) will be blinded by your glory! Haba!!
ReplyDeleteI remember ur story o.Poster pls leave that useless house,go back to ur family and start over again,pray and fast for God's direction,it won't be easy at d beginning but I assure u,u will laugh last. U can drop ur cv at Transworld security at turton street close to tbs owned by ONA EKHOMU dy are into security gadgets,recruitments of security personnel,organise seminars,they also have a training school too. U can go there,make enquiry and submit ur cv. Sent a friend there some yrs ago she was lucky to get a job there. The pay aint fantastic but ok for a start.
ReplyDeleteYour email address?
ReplyDeletebad man.
ReplyDeleteSupportive of Fertility and Reproduction
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I am going extra length to comment cos BV u deserve to know that prayer moves mountain and you need to give up all distraction so as to break this yolk.I'm sure you have heard of Fr Emma Obimma (Ebubemuonso)he hold prayers at Uke in Anambra State.You can take N200 bus from Onitsha to Uke every Thursday. Then Night Vigil every first friday. Awaiting Mothers prayer(for childlessness) every first Tuesday. My dear you will never regret making the effort to go there by yoursslf. Allow holyspirit to take control. Don't wait for d priest to touch you. Just believe in the countless tears that God have wiped at that promise Ground $ tell God you will not leave unless your name changes to testimony. I love you so much Sis. I remain mama jide 08050619417
ReplyDeleteThe woman did not tell us that she intends to leave. Why should I tell her to leave her marital home. She needs to take that decision herself. Rose
ReplyDeleteMadam, You are too attached to IVF as if there is no God!
ReplyDeletePlease forget IVF and focus on him who made a virgin pregnant.
Earlier this year my 55/more years Church Mama gave birth to a Boy after like thirty years of Marriage.
My immediate elder sister was married for eight good years(2006 after courting the husband for eight years since 1998) and just last week, God blessed them with two Great Boys (Twin-Boys) and the naming was yesterday!
I have seen/experienced alot to make bold and say "NOTHING IS BEYOND GOD" you just trust him like never before and go into convenant with him (if you wish) and see if he will not come through for you.
Challenge him by his words that he honours more than his name "He already said none shall be barren" so claim what rightfully belong to you in his word and you will NEVER be put to shame.
I look forward/await your AMAZING TESTIMONIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
try emmanuel.tv, Prophet T.B. Joshua, people get miracles in the name of JESUS.
ReplyDeleteGod will remember you before end of 2014 Amen. Chidinma lgwe. Please can you write the phone number of. the mama at olodi apapa here or to Stella so that we that needed it can contact the mama.thanks
ReplyDelete