. Why....oh why
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
DUMPED WITHOUT A REASON
I called you few minutes ago, i am in a mess Stella, A guy i dated for close to 2 years is about to shatter my world...this is someone i have met his mum, he has met my family members, friends and etc. all of a sudden he changed. he loved me and i still do love him, very much, what caused his new attitude is what i don't know, he changed this month and no sign of changing back to the person he used to be.
i am confused, i have showed him to all the persons in my life, i have chased guys away cos of him, i use his pictures on all my social networks, i cook for him, wash and does everything a good girl does. now he doesn't call me, doesn't like to see me, abuses me at will, call me names...God! infact i irritate him. The question is what will i tell my family?
I made them accept and love him, infact everyone think we are getting married soon...please help me this shame is too much, i don't concentrate on my job anymore, i cry everyday, keep to myself and brood all day. i need to make new male friends, the ones i have all tell me i am engaged, i am just alone on my own. i never cheated on my boyfriend, i placed all my eggs in one basket and now it has back fired. please help me!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
DUMPED WITHOUT A REASON
I called you few minutes ago, i am in a mess Stella, A guy i dated for close to 2 years is about to shatter my world...this is someone i have met his mum, he has met my family members, friends and etc. all of a sudden he changed. he loved me and i still do love him, very much, what caused his new attitude is what i don't know, he changed this month and no sign of changing back to the person he used to be.
i am confused, i have showed him to all the persons in my life, i have chased guys away cos of him, i use his pictures on all my social networks, i cook for him, wash and does everything a good girl does. now he doesn't call me, doesn't like to see me, abuses me at will, call me names...God! infact i irritate him. The question is what will i tell my family?
I made them accept and love him, infact everyone think we are getting married soon...please help me this shame is too much, i don't concentrate on my job anymore, i cry everyday, keep to myself and brood all day. i need to make new male friends, the ones i have all tell me i am engaged, i am just alone on my own. i never cheated on my boyfriend, i placed all my eggs in one basket and now it has back fired. please help me!
I can feel your pain..OMG.
who has ever been at this life's T-Junction?
Boyfriend I know you read this blog,please come under Anon and tell us what she did to deserve this,please.
Babe,if it doesnt work out,instead of sitting one place crying,please mingle with happy people and try to keep busy.let us keep our fingers crossed that he will tell us your crime here or even call you up
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
LOST PASSION IN RELATIONSHIP
10years together and he is only about to put a ring on it and now the passion is gone?
Do you mean your sexual urge for e aach other is dead?
why not?its been a ten year freebie ride!
Please do not marry out of pity!
LOST PASSION IN RELATIONSHIP
Hello Stella. I am an ardent reader of your blog, though I don't comment. I really need advice on my relationship. I am in a serious relationship and we are planning to get married next year. But unfortunately, we discovered the passion in the relationship is lost. So we decided to slow down things for now, but thing is, we have known each other for close to 10 years, and anytime we try to end things, we just end up together again.
We do love each other, just that sexual aspect is missing....We need help, urgently. Thank you so much.
10years together and he is only about to put a ring on it and now the passion is gone?
Do you mean your sexual urge for e aach other is dead?
why not?its been a ten year freebie ride!
Please do not marry out of pity!
Ummmmm waiting for comments
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Better move on from such a guy with sudden emotional and mental diversions. You are being emotionally abused. Please leave him alone and thank God. Take your time and move on.
DeleteI had to comment after reading the first narrative.
DeleteWhat you did wrong? Here is wat you did wrong madam: " I have showed him to all the persons in my life, i have chased guys away cos of him, i use his pictures on all my social networks, i cook for him, wash and does everything a good girl does".
You made him ur alpha and omega. You are choking him. They'll never tell you, but they don't really like it. I had a friend in your shoes. Una no dey hear something. Why will you make a man that has not married u your all in all? If I hear say I use person pic as dp. That space is for my husband alone. You made him see/think that you can die without him, so he's treating you like trash. With all the stories on this blog, ladies will not learn.
You never hear say: 'if u like, cook and wash for him, sweep his family compound, pound fufu and yam, and give him snake in the monkey shadows style in bed, if it's not you, it's not you?
Madam, abeg suck it up. Next time, show your worth to a guy and he'll treat you accordingly. They (men) might not tell you, but they want ladies that are very focused and have a mind of their own. Love yourself. Put yourself first. Love him, but don't go killing yourself for him or blowing the trumpet abt him to everybody. Chill ladies! Chill!!!
I don't have strength to check wat I typed. I hope u get it.
Same..dear... Waiting for comments too!!#AMA Ghana#
DeleteN1: don't you think God is trying to save you from problems and aches. Its better u break a dating relationship than having a divorce. Don't mind what people will say, just move along. Introduction to family and friends is not a guarantee for marriage. Everybody will understand, marriage na agreement between both Parties and not to satisfy people's expectations. ~ Blunt Truth
DeleteNarative 2: You are lucky that ur passion 4 relationship with him is dead. Mine is 4 any/all relationship. I decided to concentrate on my business and work. And also church work. I am even in my early 20s. Not everyone is crazy about relationship, sex and all that. Yes I go on dates but just for the fun of it. N I've not had sex in ages. I am really beautiful and shappy so guys trip 4 me a lot. After the shows, lunch and all those stuff I don't make an effort to take it to the next level.
DeleteWhen I was growing up I dreamt of having a wonderful man and wonderful kids. I wanted to have a family. When I became older because of live's event I changed my mind. Now I am Happily single.
One day I know the passion I feel for love will b rekindle. I believe that true love happens when we least expect it.
Is anyone going through the same issue as I am? Pls share. N I want to read happy comments on love in relationship and marriage. Maybe that will encourage me. Pls help a sister. Thanks.
Biggest chick you are in your early 20s and already talking about dead passion? As young as you are what do you know about love and passion? Keep calm and finish growing up, when love finds you at the right time you will know you had no business commenting on this post talk more of looking for people to share love experience with. Go back to sleep child and leave matured posts for adults.
DeleteAll the best as you journey through life.
The nigga must have sabotaged the relationship after the poster's pussy expired. She no longer stimulates him mentally! Mtcheeew...like they need a good reason to act like the heartless creatures that they are.
DeleteLike the P in Psychology men are very worthless and useless. Even if you no allow make them touch you before marriage, after marriage nko? The more they smash, the faster it expires. Then they start searching for wetin no lost inside another woman's pants outside. To them "no pussy like new pussy" It will never be at the height it was when it was considered new pussy. Wetin make we come do? Do surgery to change our pussies every two months?
If not that momcie would freak out, I'd have just looked for a fine man so my children go fine, borrow his spermatozoa twice (two pikin don do me), discard him like a piece of garbage afterwards. Awon ole, olojukokoro, alainitelorun!
Arabella, are you me ?
DeleteHave we met ?
The last paragraph is so me. If not because of my mother. Aha.
That woman too like gele, with asoebi things.
Anyways, how did things go with your hunk last night ? Come here, and fill in the blank spaces.
B and G I really like your comment.
DeleteBabes need to wise up seriously. Love is different from slavery.
From courtship days I spelt out to mio marito that I don't wash no man's cloth. I never cooked, washed nor cleaned coz it wasn't necessary then.
Years later we're married and I only started washing for him when we got a new washing machine.
Dating days are when you shine your eyes and not your forest. Don't sulk up too much to any man.
Poster 1
Better go give thanks to God and stop sulking up. If only you know what God delivered you from.
Take time to heal (that's what most girls don't do. They just jump in again and start same rubbish on a different level)
And y'all should learn to read. Read relationship books, they were written to be read. Be prepared and open and love will find you. 👍
Poster 2
Meet a relationship counsellor. You need help.
There are underlying issues you either dint know or ain't talking about.
There is no fire without smoke...
ReplyDeleteStella No Inhouse News Saturday?
DeleteNarrative one,are you sure you didn't do something wrong or perhaps one of ur frenemies has told him a cooked up story about u or maybe they are simply just chasing u from ur village. lol. What ever the case maybe,I think u need to ask him what the fuck his problem is. If he can't come up with any thing reasonable,bounce along and leave that pussyass nigga alone.
DeleteSeriously tho,forget about the shame or whatever, why is dat even an issue,all that is u and if you will be ok...and I promise u that u will,just give it time. Everything happens for a reason. Stay positive and keep ur spirit up. You will be ok in the end,if you're not ok,then it's not the end.
Poster number 2 I will give my opinion on ur issue as well but 1st I have to go back n read it again
I dey come.....
NewBie!
Abi? That's what I've been waiting for. Hoping to read about all the 'mingles' by the 'singles' #smiles
DeletePoster No1> the story is not complete. So your boo woke up one day and decided to change? No reason whatsoever? You must have done something wrong-knowingly or unknowingly . Sit him down and ask.
ReplyDeleteBiko mechipu onu,must u comment,I must rubbish sydrome
DeleteAnonymous 2.06 I dnt angree wit u. He cld hv found sm1else and giving dis lady d silient treatment. He shld b enable to tell her he doesnt want her. or wat she has done wrong. Take heart dear. U wld get someone that wld cherish u.
DeleteAnon 2.06 your head is there. The story is not complete. She hasn't told us what she's done to him. A man you have shown to your family and has also shown you to his family, can't just wake up and start acting up. Did he catch you with another man?? Do you talk down on him?? Do you disobey him or make him inferior?? Pple don't just wake up and start acting strange without their partners partly causing it.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteMy thought too. Its either she did something she doesn't know, or he suspects she's cheating or he found a better girl
DeleteOr he is seeing someone else.
DeleteMy dear...atimes u don't have to do anything to them...dat was how 1 dat went thru such a stress to get my attention started behaving funny...all I did was just let him be...atleast I didn't loose much...for whenever I remenber all he did for me...i just forgive his sorry ass.
DeleteMy broda abi my sister e dey happen. Maybe derz a new flame, am sure he's met someone else! Na today?!
DeleteI've been through such I cry tire I wan die bt thank God I channelled my energy n time into building a better relationship with God n tht was hw I got over d short guy...#WeThatRockedThatYear
Poster 1..if u guys don't eventually make it together, trust me u ll be fine! Na todayyyyyyyy
My dear,it happens at times for no reason. Anyone can fall out of love,just dt some r cowards who cnt tell d oda party involved d truth. He mite not even b cheating on her or whatsoever,he can just lose interest. Am not sayin it's a good thing,am just sayin I believe her story. Poster 1: just move on with d rest of ur life,cos if u eventually beg him n he comes bk to u,he will still leave again.
DeleteMy dear u don't need to do anything ssome guys are wicked and heartless. Later he will come begging like a wet chicken.
DeleteSexy F
Not in all cases , I guess he met someone else ..... The problem is he being rude and wicked to her may be so that she can live him but the truth is he will have a visitor later in future called karma ..... That is always the case .... Humans can be very selfish
DeleteAm sure u must be a guy or just a bitter soul mtchewww shift jare
DeleteStop invoking Karma in every little nonsense before it looses its value. The earlier we ladies understand that not all relationships are destined for the altar the better.A guy has done all there is to do with you now he is fed up and out of love with you so suck it up, dust yourself up and keep going. You will meet that special man destined for you and when that time comes, you will be glad this one left when he did.
DeleteIn life we win some and we loose some.
All the best poster 1.
Roseflower karma in this case is not nonsense....u never ever treat people like dirt... He owes her a duty to end the relationship properly..... No be by force but y will he just start treating her like trash? Only a fool will think all relationships are alter bound but rule of decency says u let the person know y u are ending it... If the guy had given her a reason why will she be bothered? It's funny how some people here think she must have done something, some men are mean and if u haven't met any stop judging....
DeletePoster no2> 10years no be 10mins. I'm sure u guys see yourselves as blood relatives right now... Don't marry out of pity.
ReplyDeleteGod help us. Hmmm
ReplyDeleteToday chronicles tire me no be small..dated for 10 what?suddenly the passion come travel go where?but why stay in a relationship for that long?women should learn from all these chronicles we read here everyday...1st poster,please take it easy dear.that is not the end ok. Please you have to concentrate on your job to avoid been fired..God will see you through.
ReplyDeleteN1, i don't even know what to tell you *sigh*,
ReplyDeleteN2, If there is no more sexual urge please forget the marriage. Sex is very very very IMPORTANT in a marriage.
Abeg babe go park for one corner abeg...I keep saying it not all relationship dat leads to marriage! If u like introduced him to ur ancestors if he no go marry he no go marry u, were u his first gf? Na u virgin d guy? Abi na him virgin u? Y u no die wen ur EX dump u? Abeg I dey vex jare married women go complain single ladies go still dey complain. .... one way close another way open. ... u gat d chance to search for mr right!
ReplyDeleteI taya oh! If the guy leaves, move on na.
DeleteSome girls dey make me shame.
Chick felix u be goat... Are u daft? Can't u read? Is the issue about a relationship not working? How will u go out with a guy, u are both into each other then suddenly he changes? U need to know y....it's easier to deal with break up when they tell u they are no longer interested....una go dey firm hard chick meanwhile una don do mumu for guys tire... Mschweeeeeeew
Delete#1. Come here and take a bear hug#
ReplyDeleteI understand how u feel now bae!! Huuu!! It is well honey!! Just take heart!! If he ends up not telling u ur crime or makin up with u then my dear, let him GO!!! Cry for all u can and wipe off ur tears, start mingling with happy ppl, female friends for now since u dont have any other male friend with time u will bounce back believe me, u will. And wen u do, a real and better man will come and stick too. While u are @ it, get close to God, get commited with church activities too.
#2.what exactly do u want us to tell u?
Dont ever marry out of pity, ppl dat married out of love are even having ups and down not to talk of ppl with no passion. Try and rekindle that love fast if not, take that big walk!! 10yrs is way too longggggg! The guy might have seen all he needs to see!! Chaii!
@poster1 something is wrong,too bad u can't place it but try and find out.@poster2 did you say 10years?mmmmm if am not mistaking 10yrs go don dey like jss2 Oooooooo hiannnnn that is very long time,i pray God gives you wisdom
ReplyDeleteNarr2) na u wear d crown of lord of d RING 10 f*cking WHAT....chai chai I can't deal abeg...
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteBe strong ok?
Don't break down just yet. If he is no more interested, let him go. No begging, no crying and do not wallow in self pity. Years later you might discovered you dodged a bullet by letting go.
Poster 2
If you guys get married without resolving this issue, you will just be like house mates living together, no sparks.
both of you need to get creative.
#1 Every disappointment is a blessing.
ReplyDeleteAs human you are bound to be sad ,unhappy and most likely regret some of the decisions you made during the relationship.
Don't beat yourself up about it, if he isn't yours, yours will definitely come coz you never can tell this might be God's way of saving you from future heartache.
Try to be happy and don't go about showing him he is all you got, keep your self esteem and move on with ur life.
As for how your relations will feel, be honest to them, tell them the truth coz you need them now as your support system both physically emotionally and otherwise.
Its well with you.
REMEMBER THERE IS ALWAYS LIGHT AT THE END OF EVERY DARK TUNNEL!!
STAY BLESSED.
at poster one this is really crios...just call him nd ask him wat uve done, if he still insists look for happy things to tak ur mind away...ull b fine
ReplyDeletevisit my blog
www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com
Poster one
ReplyDeletePlease have a talk with that guy today,this minute...not over the phone..this is november,the end of the year is here,you need to close your books well!!
If he has moved on,he needs to let you know....if it is work pressure,health challenge...abeg let him tell you why it is affecting your relationship in a huge way!!
That said,madam in future...sharing pictures of a man you are dating on social media is highly risky..it keeps people in relationships they don't want because of what family and friends will say..my friends say I am secretive but I was guarding my heart and my world.. my wedding came as a shock to some,a pleasant surprise to others...apart from the fact that you will keep having random men on your dp depending on how long the rship lasts,the world is filled with sad,bitter individuals out to ruin you spiritually and physically!
Cooking,cleaning,dancing shoki ahn..will not change that man nne....please listen abi read from us that have some sort of experience from our lives and the ones around us....it is not a guarantee! if you want to cook cos you like "cookery" thinz..do it at your own risk and don't bring it up as one of the many "sacrifices" you gave a man..it means you were doing all that for marriage!
I will not be shocked if he got another lady pregnant...he might love you ooh..but then pressure from his family to "wife" the other one might make him treat you bad so that you will be the one to call off the relationship..na so dem be,they think they are smart..lol.i might be wrong though...
NB: it is not every time a relationship breaks down we are at fault..if you are all you described and more...and if you stayed together for two whole years not two days...you did not turn into a pumpkin over night na...or did you?
I wish you all the best while you get to the bottom of this sudden change...
Lol at dancing Shoki ahn
DeleteNa so...
DeletePoster #1,he has someone else distracting him.and guys,they like new toys,so he feels this new toy has something more intresting. If I were you,I will be more angry than sad.that anger will make me stay away too.and when he realises you are not calling or in his face,he will come lookin for you.
ReplyDeletePoster #2 I dated my hubby for more than 10yrs,we were actually never in same city all through and we were constistent.thing is we weren't having much sex for each time I visit,I was always still shy of him..lol (come to think of it oo) na wa for me sef. Anyways,if you marry this guy,you both have seen yourself finish oo..una go be cat and dog,no reservations, nothing new to intrest just same ol same ol.it won't be marrying out of pity as Stella has written,but the see finish won't be here oo.and sex will be boring and he may have to cheat.
Poster 1, so sorry for your ordeal but I think you stoop too low taking over the wife's position without him doing the necessary things. Even if you love a man, don't show him that you go die on top of his matter rather let his love be more than yours. When you give a man 40% or 50% love, the man will go extra mile to prove to you that he loves you but when you give him all 100% love, some men wont appreciate it rather they will kick your butt. Let him look out for you..
ReplyDeleteAll I see now is a fed up guy, he has seen your face too much that he is fed up. You are killing yourself while he is somewhere enjoying himself in another girl's arms..
Ladies please, don't show him 100% love, have a reserve you will fall back on. My dear, stand up, dust yourself, its painful but its not the end of the world. Maybe God is planning a better package for you, you dey here dey cry... My dear, he doesn't deserve you, please get up and face your work. GOD HAS A BETTER AND GREATER PLAN FOR YOU..... IF HE IS YOURS, YOU DONT NEED TO CRY, STRUGGLE OR FIGHT FOR HIM, HE WILL COME BACK TO YOU(Annie Idibia's quote)
Poster 2, 10 whole years??? Instead of you to put a ring on it, you are seeking for advice... You want us to tell you to leave the relationship so you go start all over again?? Sorry to ask, how old are you???
Exactly o
DeleteSecond poster!
ReplyDeleteLol
Passion is lost in a relationship? You are looking for it??
You want to find it?? In marriage or still in the 10years off and on relationship?? Am sorry I have questions too..no vex!
Narr1 is the reason i don't flaunt a guy,you gave the relationship your whole attention and now its all playing out to you like a movie! sorry babe, just pick the pieces of your life and move on. Narr2, you guys should have alone couples time and talk,point out your mistakes,be free and just go with the flow.
ReplyDeleteAhhh guys r wicked oooo I was in ur shoes, infact I was leaving my lyf jst for that bastard, I was already acting as a wife sef all of a sudden he jst changed, my dear d fact dat he tuk u 2 his family does'nt mean he planned 2 marry u oooo all dis boys wat they plan on doing is already in dia mind they will jst tak tym b4 deh manifest it. Pls tak hrt.
ReplyDeletereading comments,plz kip them coming
ReplyDeletereading comments,plz kip them coming
ReplyDeleteWait poster...boo woke up one morning and decided to end things with you?
ReplyDeleteAre you sure you did not offend him because he can't just wake up and hate you, or maybe he has someone else and isn't feeling you anymore.btw while you were flaunting him on all social media's did he do same thing for you if not then you must've been the one putting in everything in the relationship! Before you flaunt him, praise boo, do all sorts did he show some kinda commitment?
I won't say I know how you feel but you have to be strong o ND find a way to talk to him, ask him why he suddenly hates you..
Poster 2...if you don't feel nada for him no need to marry him.cos that sex aspect di very important ..
Ignore typos auto correct won't let me b great
Poster No1 I feel your pain, at least u deserve an explanation ......Try and mingle, make yourself happy
ReplyDeleteMy dear poster1 and 2, ur problems r spiritual.. u guys should go for deliverance.. spiritual husbands @ work.. pray pray pray... go to Either SCOAN, CHAMPION ROYAL ASSEMBLES Abj, SHILOH Abj or CHRIST MERCY LAND Warri.. may the lord see u thru.. amen
ReplyDeleteAt poster number 1, sit him down and talk to him. It's possible one of your frenemies has told him something you did/didn’t do. In any case you need to know so you can find closure whether the relationship is savaged or not.
ReplyDeleteAt number 2, hmmmm...both of you must be really innovative and willing to ignite the fire in your relationship...we should be talking about this 10 years into your marriage o chai! I hope your marriage doesn't become tepid 10 years after since you have 'exhausted' the excitement even b4...
God help you...
Poster 1.... Are u sure u did not offend him? Sit him down nd av a heart to heart discussion with him. *It is well* Poster 2.... 10yrs? Hmmmm * lips sealed*.
ReplyDeleteIf a man gets free milk,he won't bother to buy the cow.If you are not married to that man,don't give him your body,don't spend the night in his house cos both of you are not married.Some of you don't even know the difference btw love and infatuation.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 pls take heart. Pray about it and ask God 4 His will. Secondly don't take things serious and never expect much from humans. Take ur time let ur wound heel. Find peace n happiness from within. I've had a worse experience buh truth is we always have 2 move on.
ReplyDeleteI was in d same situation as d first poster,i tot life had ended for me,i was so in love with my ex,he was my world,every1 knew him..infact we were already plannin a weddn.he just woke up one day nd said he was done.i was devasted.i cried, didnt eat anytin for two weeks..den one very gud sunday i went to church nd d topic of d sermon was cast ur burden upon the lord..i was my rhema word..i went home nd prayed nd asked God to take it all away nd dat he shuld lead me in d right path,nd i was tired of doin it on my own.dat was d end of my pain.so my dear there is nothing God cnt do.jst lay it alk at his feet nd u wuld be suprised at d peace u will feel..God is d only one who cn love u unconditionally, trust me ive bin der nd i knw how it feels..
ReplyDelete@poster1...if i was the guy i would do the same. never make a man the center of ur existence coz men mistake too much loving and attachment for desperation. give him some time off and take down his pix as your profile. and pray fervently for him to return back.
ReplyDeleteposter2....10yrs? wetin come remain for marriage nau.
#1. Dry your eyes. Say a prayer of thanks to God for your numerous blessings. Go out and have fun. Be happy. You can't tie your joy on a human. It's painful but you'll survive. What is meant to be yours will come to you if its meant to be. Important rule in life: Worrying about what people will say is a recipe for madness. The most important thing is what God has said( doing the right thing)
ReplyDelete#2. This one pass my power, Stella has a point but does this mean if you guys had been married, cheating will be an issue by now? Sexual desire is usually associated with emotional fulfillment. Probably he has done or isn't doing something. Also you can bring back the spark by showing him what you enjoy. Most times men can be clueless. Take him out etc Last but not least, has there been any physical change ( weight gain, hair loss etc) Though I don't want to believe the relationship was that shallow to begin with.
I de divide heart into ten,chop out small from one piece like say I de divide meat,give the loverboy to hold,if I throway am na I'm own wahala.Babes o but why you go carry all your heart put for basket give man? You de do birthday? Which one remain for you? Anywaz no cry again you hear,men are ingrates ,na only 20percent be good ones among them. We don see this kind things tee tee come use barb wire tie the heart,use padlock lock am ,swallow key come shit am comot ,wipe bottom,mess ,begin de blow guy de wine bottom like say tmorrow no de. So my dear leave the boy cus he is a boy and go and have fun ,dnt let it bother you oo life na once.
ReplyDeleteExactly. ..lmao!
DeleteI de divide heart into ten,chop out small from one piece like say I de divide meat,give the loverboy to hold,if I throway am na I'm own wahala.Babes o but why you go carry all your heart put for basket give man? You de do birthday? Which one remain for you? Anywaz no cry again you hear,men are ingrates ,na only 20percent be good ones among them. We don see this kind things tee tee come use barb wire tie the heart,use padlock lock am ,swallow key come shit am comot ,wipe bottom,mess ,begin de blow guy de wine bottom like say tmorrow no de. So my dear leave the boy cus he is a boy and go and have fun ,dnt let it bother you oo life na once.
ReplyDelete2nd story doesn't make sense....pls Stella u shud stop publishing some stories! 1st story jst forget abt dat guy n move on.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 u must be the most annoying person in d world!
ReplyDeleteWhat will u tell ur parents as how?
What shame biko? #SpreadsArm!
My dear u ddnt do enuf,
U cook for him so?, u fed him ehen?, u cleaned and what else av u done dat no woman aznt done for a man.
Dd u try sucking his shit wit ur mouth?(Dat wld av bin new)
U were damn too clingy n d guy bcame irritated.
Keep brooding inugo(u ddnt tell us if u are a fowl)!
If a man says its over, call him back n give am transport fare, stop giving men d impression dat dey are doing u a favor by dating u.
U sef look am, isn't it scary? 'If a woman is bhaving sucidal all cos of a rlationshp'
If ur patner is acting up, call him aside and ask him 'Oboi! Are u the one or is dia anoda?'
If u av to cry, by al means do, but plz pick ursef up, put ursef 2geda, find ursef a beta man 10x beta dan ur ex, n use d lesson u learnt frm ur previous rltnshp.
Madam dem no dey catch late comer for marriage.
Lol @ call him back and give am transport fare.
DeleteLmao haha.
I still don't like you.
poster 1:sorry 4 ur loss.Pray so he wl come back 2his senses coz it might b sth siritual.
ReplyDeletePoster2:u guys shld re-evaluate d rship n find dat missing passion.
#Nazzyilicious
Everything is spiritual with you people. Haba.
DeleteNigga is tired of the 'pussaaaay'.
Poster No 1,I feel your pain,I have been exactly in the place you are right now,I have been in your shoes.I know the ache and pain that is a constant companion.I know that bitter taste in your tongue,I know what you are going through.my advice is this ask him for a one on one meeting.when you meet him ask him where exactly you went wrong,ask him if there is someone else,get to the root..however if he comes clean by saying he is with someone else,let him go..but if its as a result of something you did,or a vice you have he could'nt put up with,tell him you are willing to start anew,ask for a clean slate,a second chance.however if he remains adamant that he is done with the relationship,you've got to move on.its not easy I know,there are times you wouldn't feel like waking up in the morning,but you will survive,you'll pull through,you will be okay,your heart will be mended.it won't be an easy journey,but you will get there.I did it and you can too..I haven't dated in a year,the emotional trauma is never easy,but you will be okay.this may sound so cliche,but sometimes you have to kiss a frog before you get your prince.be strong,be prayerful.God is exceedingly able!
ReplyDeletePoster 1, I know how u feel, its not easy, if he refuses to give u a good reason for breaking up u then I advice u move on cos , u can't force a man to marry u, a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage, don't jump into another relationship to avoid stories dat touches the heart.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, u guys should make up ur minds already, if the love is dead abeg make una seperate.
Narrative 1: a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage,if he doesn't want you anymore,carry yourself with dignity and leave,cry if you must,surround yourself with good friends and family,you will turn out fine,its obvious your bf's passion ran out.
ReplyDeletePoster 2:At this stage in your relationship,love becomes a choice and no longer a feeling,do you think that in a marriage,passion is consistent? You have to WORK for it,its obvious you both want to give up on your love,if you guys can't handle 10yrs,sorry to say,you can't handle 50years,you guys should come together and work on your relationship,its obvious both of you got too comfortable,besides if u date a partner for long,you won't be marrying for "pity" ,you would be marrying ur bestfriend,work on your relationship.
Shit does happen....d only constant tin in life is change...
ReplyDeletePoster 1, that motherfucker is gbenshing someone else.
ReplyDeleteMake I borrow SDK Chair.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: I know its hard but just move on with your life. Love will find u again. Poster 2: biko both of u shuld go ur separate ways. Una don chop all the meat wey dey for una relationship, na bone and kanda remain. All relationships must not end in marriage.
ReplyDeleteUno, you can ask him what you've done wrong but please distract yourself for a while, Man matter I no fit kill myself mehn! Other guys are out there.
ReplyDeleteN1 maybe dere is something about u d guy doesn't like and probably doesn't think he can marry u cause of that or it could be that you are giving him too much of u and ur services. My advice is for you to let him be for now don't pressure him, don't go to his house, return 3 of his calls with one of yours, don't make him feel like u r at his beck and call.
ReplyDeleteOh dear! What could have gone wrong? N2, is that love do fade or what? 10 yrs?
ReplyDeleteSumtin must av made him change. Y not ask him wat u did.
ReplyDeleteSince Stella said he reads dis blog.let him cum unda anonymous to day wat she did
Poster1:There is no smoke witout fire check urself may there are things u are doing dat he doesn't like.
ReplyDeletePoster2:u have known each other for ten years???pls my dear don't marry out pity cos wat he is suppose to be enjoying when u guys get married he has been enjoying it for d past 1Oyrs lofe lofo my dear o ti sha loju ni ooooo.
Hmmmmm
ReplyDeleteLooooool Patt!!!!!! U be living clown. I wan be like you
DeleteOrdinary boyfriend when dey transition period to husband.... Abeg let him go,how you wan take beg am again? All this guys of nowadays just dey take advantage of the fact that babes are desperate to settle down and the bobos are few'.you will find some other person Bo.
ReplyDeletePoster no 1,i feel your pain and am a guy,i ve loved a lady like this,she cheated I even forgave her,now she says she is no longer inteRested
ReplyDeleteAll I see in both tales are SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX SUPPLIERS pretending to be fiancees! Girls, opening legs for a man will not make him want to marry you! Keeping yourself intact till he pays bride price (note; "bride price" and not "put a ring") will make him to respect you and want to have you for keeps as a wife. Enough said.
ReplyDeleteI'm a man.
God bless u! I don't know why some ladies think that 'fornicating' will make men marry them. Keep your body pure and whole for the Lord and ur God-ordained husband. I tell u it will be so easy to tell any misbehaving guy to go to hell!
DeleteHe didnt change over night. You kept on doing the things he detests. Gradually you destroyed the love he had. You possibly didn't give him much space and made everything about you and yours. He changed over time, you just were too self absorbed to notice. And the thought of a lifetime with you scares him so he has to flip the love switch off
ReplyDeletefeel ur pain dear,dont know wot 2 say bt am sorry
ReplyDeleteSee Finish.
ReplyDeleteThe mistake girls always make is showing off their private lives/relationships on social media. If you were married, I will understand, although there should also be a limit to what you post. Anyways, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. Its better to walk away and move on than to linger on a faded love life.
ReplyDeleteIn other to move on, you need friends around you. Try hanging out more often and watch movies too. Take your mind off him. You never told us how old you were, but whatever the case, never act desperate to any man cos they aint worth that shit. *e-hugs*
Narrative 2: Go to MFM or Manna Mountain. You need to be delivered from bondage. Dem tie your destiny to one asshole or wetin. If to fuck no dey sweet una again, then push him to the left and try Kehinde Ake.
Poster 1, trust me, even if he leaves u, u can't die. Time heals all wounds. I was involved with a lady some years ago, we dreamt of a beautiful home together. We're colleagues @ work. I met her folks while she met mine too. We planned intro when all of a sudden, she changed and started sleeping with another of our colleague. She left me and I thought the world was gonna crash on me but after giving myself time (over a year), I now happily in a better relationship.
ReplyDeletePoster, God might have sum1 beta 4 u. If u're convinced u didn't wrong him, it shows he wanna move on without u, pls, let him be. A failed relationship is better than a failed marriage; some things are not worth fighting over. If sum1 makes u an alternative, pls, don't make them a piority. Pay him back by being happy. Avoid being alone, listen to inspirational messages (not blues 4 now), read and go out to have fun. God bless u
Aww.
DeleteI was about to ask for your number to console your broken spirit, then I saw 'I'm now happily in a better relationship'.
Sniffs.
Would have type a whole lot but am drained... Will be back
ReplyDeleteThere's no fire without smoke...it might be that you did something wrong or he just met somebody who seems to come to the table with better package than yours... Some guys r like that.. They'd be with you just to pass time.. Whilst they r with you, they'd do everything a loving and caring bf should do.. But somewhere at the back of their mind, they are still not satisfied with the choice of the lady they r with... Everything unravels as soon as they meet that new fire lady... And since they r not committed committed, it's easier for them to bounce because that gf they are seeing was never their first choice in the first place... It is sad to say this but it's the reality that truly exist. Pick and dust yourself back up, continue being nice, meet new guys and be prayerful and you will be surprised how a better caring and loving man will come your way in no time....a diamond is always a diamond and that's what you are... A diamond in the dirt for now... And soon, a nice and God fearing man will come your way you discover the diamond in you. Good luck...
ReplyDeleteThere's no fire without smoke ?
DeleteI thought it was, there is no smoke without fire ?
I'm confused. Did they change the quote without sending me a memo ?
I knew I was going to see, "sit him down and ask...", lol!
ReplyDeleteDear poster 1 have you tried to find out how 'water entered the pumpkin shoot'? What's ur communication like? Whether you want to sit him down, stand him up or lie him down, try and find out what his issue is.
Whether or not you succeed in getting answers, please move on.
I've never been an advocate of do-or-die relationships.
Same goes for you poster 2. Communicate with your partner and find out how to rekindle the spark (if it can be rekindled).
The first girl,I know how you must feel. However,thank your stars that he didn't change after marriage. Imagine being trapped in that union? Your chronicle would have been more heart wretching than this.what you must do is tell your folks the latest development.There's nothing to be ashamed of.At least they will know what prayers to say for you. Instead of thanking God for your forth coming wedding,they should revert prayer request to pre relationship mode. As for the 10year off and on whatever,you and your partner have entered the phase I call "relationship auto~pilot".What you feel for eachother now,is what regular 10year old marriages are.Sadly,there's no legality to yours. Whatewgondoo? Start with someone new and run back? It aint happening girl! Abeg make he stroll go village pay your bride price. You need not be there sef. Then, Maybe one boring Thurday, una fit just waka go ikoyi registry sign something.You are living in a real world where routine sex becomes less of chemisty and more of biology. The next phase is more annoying.He will become your brother! Hopefully,kids would ve come at this point...Lolzzz
ReplyDeleteWey my zobo & kola? Who dey here, abeg shift make I siddon listen to relationship experts. Oya Oo...make una fire down...ghanaman signing in!
ReplyDeletePoster 1, sit your guy down and talk out things with him . If he doesn't have anything concrete to say, please leave him and take a walk now that it's not too late. Maybe he has achieved what he wanted with you and he is fed up. Do not waste time on anyone who doesn't want you. Don't mind what people are going to say. It's your life. If you like show him to your ancestors, if he doesn't love you enough, nothing can change that.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,dry ur tears and walk away baby
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard Buh u can do it hon
Shouldnt u be thanking GoD for exposing him to u before he put a ring on ur finger??
He doesn't like to see u,calls u names and u feel u irritate him?? *eyes wide open in shock*
He hasn't even married u and all dese signs are showing demselves...
Nne u know wot to do o...just that d fear of d unknown is holding u back..WALK AWAY!
Tell ur peeps it didn't work out...ok?
U can do this baby,and let no man make u feel Soo inadequate and lost without him...cos that's wot u come acrosss...like a lost puppy.
Wil say a prayer for u...u sound like a good girl and deserves a good man.
Sending u bear hugs.
@ Poster 2,hmmmm....
10 years and u guys have lost d passion....
Have u tried to rediscover it?
Stress and traffic and work can play dangerous games on couples u know...
Unless he has someone else he is eyeing or u have a sexy young dude elsewhere who u lavish ur attention on(in dis case,ur daydreams) I am not sure wot to say.
Honestly Talk about it with ur partner and work on it....u wil get amazing results ....
Good luck dear!
Inukwa discover 10yeras old lost passion?? It ran it's course...
DeleteNne kee way?? Obago??lolzzz
No be onle yeras...na rasye..lol
Delete*years biko!
@ Iphie....Gini???!!!
DeleteNne abeg stop am ooo....Baby is only 6 months na.....
Me and Qutie wil go again together...lol
Wonder where she is sef...
Hope u are ok Too Bae.and our Bun...
Nne Jisike.
TGW you come across to me as a very warm hearted, kind and honest person. I have a friend like you only distance has come between us as she is in the UK while am in Germany now. How I would like to have you as a friend only if wishes were horses. Keep it real girlie you have a fan.
Delete1: I'm concerned that what you will tell your family/what people will say is what you are most bothered about.
ReplyDeleteWell, including the sense of loss over the wifely duties you've been performing.
I'll not even try to speculate on why he changed but I know for a fact that some men dont value ladies like you, who have dedicated their lives to pleasing a boyfriend.
There's no shame there.
Very high profile marriages have crashed and heavens didnt fall.
You can't force a man to wife you.
Prepare your profile for next month's "single and searching" post and start dating again.
In your next relationship, reduce the "feferity" biko.
Have a life outside the relationship.
2: What's with the on again, off again like clueless teenagers?
It's either you call it off and move on permanently or marry him already.
10 years is too long to be assessing sexual spark.
Hahahahahahaha spot on Goldie darling you couldn't have said it better.
Delete10 years togeda? You both are prolly fond of each other. Dts all.
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Shebi dem tok say even if you meet his ancestors,it still dsnt mean he will marry you.
Nyways since its just a month,give himtime and stop giving him attention.
N stop washing his clothes!!!! Umunwanyi!!!!
Poster#1: ur bf has a new gf... He's unto someone else
ReplyDeletePoster#2: wake up the passion... It might just be sleeping.... Go on vacation with ur man and plan... Toys, new underwears etcetera.....
at no1, might be a spiritual thing oh, just saying. try pray if nothing happen maybe you should just move on. Girls dey suffer aha.take heart
ReplyDeleteBennie na you be dis@ poster 1?after you pursue all of us finish.
ReplyDeleteLet the comment roll in
ReplyDeleteThe men in your lives have seen it all, you were wives without the procedures so nothing new to expect. @ poster one...something happened so you either know or refused to believe it but better a broken affair than a broken marriage. I agree you really need to know the cause of breakup for your own closure but don't rush into a new relationship cos your are vulnerable so heal first. You can request an audience and talk about it but don't brood over a man who doesn't know your worth biko. @ poster 2 rekindle passion outside marriage when you have burnt it all in the past years. You need a separation to evaluate if you want to live the rest of the years with that same guy OR move on though you have 10year investment with(out) returns. A breather would do you good to rekindle your so lost passion abi sexual chemistry. Una doooh!
ReplyDeletePoster 1, u already said why he left u - You became his maid, so he can't treat u like a wife, u haven't married a man ( even engagement doesn't count) yet u were too desperate doing his chores to please him
ReplyDeleteU were now giving him unnecessary publicity, flaunting him anywhere at all is the 1st sign of dumbness. Don't u see girls who just put out their wedding pictures on fb when no one saw it coming? Those are the sharpest
Anyway, I believe u have learnt. U were too clingy and cheap, men with their ego like to show prowess, fight for a woman's love too, ask successfully married women, they know wen to draw back to keep the men on their toes and not to over smoother them with love. U will get over it. And u better move on. It like forcing a man to lick sour orange. If u force him to marry u, he would cheat on u forever. Ur biggest achievement here is to learn from ur mistakes, never let it happen again. Meanwhile u better develop thick skin for what people would say, after they talk at ur back, what else? My dear, after crying, dust urself and stand up. Go closer to God, go to Church more, study ur Bible and pray more
No 1, there is this thing called and know as STROKE , you are heading in that direction .BE CAREFUL !
ReplyDeleteGo out & meet new friends , I know how empty you feel after such time . Nnem , get a new hobby , put away things that reminds you of him, pray and believe.Sit him down face to face and ask him what your crime is ,not on phone o ! FACE 2 FACE .If you ask me, I will say a new girl is in town with him, or that he have been acting real desperate. Don't play with your job sister bcos that's when you will welcome suicide with open hands . For now, GIVE HIM THAT SPACE HE WANT, BE HAPPY , ALWAYS DRESS FINE, JOIN A GYM. IF HE IS YOURS HE WILL BE BACK TO YOU JUST LIKE 2BABA DID & still went back to his true love !
Who knows, maybe God is saving you from something very disastrous . Pls, never play the role of a wife in any man's life if your name is not attached to his last name . Maybe he never wanted you as a wife & you refused to see it that way from day one . Move on dear and believe in yourself . If you ever need a friend to talk to , I will be here for you . Let me know through Stella . Remember, YOU ARE TOO FUCKING GOOD TO BE A PUPPET TO ANY MAN .You forget to add his AGE which could have helped a lot .
Sexual aspect is missing = Why ? How ?
Sick ? long distance or tradition ?
Anytime you try to end things you get back together ? = PRIDE ?
Nnenna's help to both of you= DIALOGUE !
It doesn't matter how long you've been together.some relationship can beat so ROMEO & JULIET while dating , and war when the ring join them together .
What changes took place that led to the fall out ?
Are you 100% faithful to her ?
Is she to you ? because side chick/guy can cause distractions in your love life, and might be two late to fix when you finally get back to your senses .
Write down al the things about her you don't like or feel comfortable with and those that make's you happy, make her do same . And then BOOM ! ! ! the problem to your affair will be seen and addressed . But if this didn't work, Then move on & be happy . Life is too short , Enjoy it with the one that really want you and move on . Is not the end of the world. Believe me, hellfire is better and unhappy marriage and things hardly move forward in such . Goodluck !
Poster1. Let me tell you my story,I met a guy my 1st love I showed everyone to,schl knew us,church knew us,my friends,my family his family,and I put my egg in 1 basket inshort I never pray 4 myslf again but him cos I blieve wen once he is blessed I'm blessed,I was the best girl any1 could ever had so decent and lovely,every1 wish to have me,inshort my friends taught we where getting married,met him in 1 room I prayed n fasted all night and day,bam he started getting blessed,bought a car,started building n started changing n when things where not right I divide my pocket money into two to get him going,we broke up after 4yrs praying n being faithful when he had nothing,what was his excuse that I'm a burden still in schl that his parent are begging him to settle down that he doesn't need a liability,he went and married a graduate after a year,shame killed me cos every1 called me whether I ve heard,my family looked @ me with pity,mydear I cried,died n woke up,I stood by him like kilode,ve moved on and I do see his pix with his wife waxing strong no sadness in their home that I ask God eventho it one punishment for deceiving but I ve moved on knowing one day a good man will come,so my dear move on,the shame will come but just b strong ok
ReplyDeleteStay away from anything that will make you see pictures of them..don't stalk secretly on FB or add him on BBM.. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger..
DeleteVery soon you will look back and burst into laughter,enough to bring tears to your eyes...it will end in praise..you will see!!
Poster1. What ever might have cause the ish in the relationship, pls let it go. I feel ur pain, cos I went through something very similar recently. My fiance walked out on our relationship. He had met every member of my family including extended ones. We were hoping to get married this year. But he called it off. It was a very tough time for me. I was honest with my family. They even tried to wade in to help us settle. But he said he wanted out. So I freed him and let him go. I was depressed (I still get depressed sometimes), I cried. I did every thing I could do to keep the relationship. I was even willing to bend backward to keep him. Sorry for my long epistle. I found solace in God, am much better than I was two months ago. Poster, let him go. Your best is yet to come. U will hurt, but only for a while. Tell your close family the truth. Don't hide d breakup. U need all the support u can get. Hugs for u.
ReplyDeleteSo touching...My dear God will wipe your tears with the best man ever..just believe..all the best
DeleteSending u warm hugs.
DeleteSomwone better wil come dear.
Wow.
DeleteThis had me mushy. So sorry about it.
Your man will locate you.
You write so well too.
Memo to miss North Dakota...
ReplyDeleteDunno if u saw my reply to your comment on the Saturday laugh post. But if u didn't, I asked where u are based... And what's the problem?
Dunno the kinda angel u looking for tho, but I tot I might just be of lil help cos God has sent me my own angel so I want to extend the lil blessing....
Ehn Bunny,
DeleteI have been looking for you.
I'd love to meet you, too.
Won't you ask me what kind of angel I want too ?
Stella, na wa oh, things are happening, poster 1, as hard as this is, I think you should move on, if he's meant for you, he would definitely come back. Poster number 2, you both need a break. I was having a conversation with one of my male friends and he was telling me how he has a girl that gives him the blow job of his life and how the gil lets him release in her mouth and how he can never sleep with her without protection, it left me wondering how he can give the girl whatever disease or not he has but can't risk getting anything from her, because I don't think he can get anything through the girl's mouth, the moral here is that girls should wake up, stop letting men use you. Respect yourselves, stop doing the wifely roles before you are a wife!
ReplyDeleteIn my mid twenties im really in love wif dis guy I met him abt two mnths physically tho we chat and talk because he has been out of the country so him coming back i went to see him n yes we went down tho thats not how I wanted it but he said y chill since we still gonna do it and I agreed ..im in love with him big time because have closed my self to people but he does not show this love lik I want, we stay in different stays for now cause im rounding up in school...how do I know if he loves mii we just chat on but takes time in replying and barely call keeps saying he busy busy and stressed cos of work ...please how do I know if he loves me or just keeping
ReplyDeleteYou have closed your self to people??
DeleteA young girl that should have fun,go on dates..answer calls..do shakara for men??hian....If he is too busy to respond to chats or calls..you are not his number 1 priority..i bet he was all lovey dovey,attentive and shit before you gave him the chocolat?? now he suddenly remembers he is stressed?? He cut out some hours from his busy schedule to wine you,cuddle you and eventually get you to open your legs abi? babe!!! You your brain and tread carefully..infact lock up the cherry till further notice!
Urrm, you ve given up the cookie right? Biko he Don chop clean mouth. NEXT!!!!
Delete*give
DeleteCan't you see he isn't that much into you? Just wait till he gets you pregnant then you bring us your own chronicle here Ode.I wonder why ladies never learn. Mtcheeew
DeleteAnother thing, Poster 1. Once the breakup is final, pls cut off communication with him. So u don't get tempted to sell yourself cheap to him. It will help you heal faster. God is your strength.
ReplyDeletePoster one# find out what happened. We all have one person that calls us to order. Find that person for him. Report and get back to stella
ReplyDeleteN1-something Definitely happened..N2 na 'see finish' syndrome be that o.
ReplyDeleteAnon 2:06 I do not think she has done something wrong. I hv been in dis mess b4 and I knw exactly hw it feels 4 some1 dat love you to wake up one beautiful morning and cease to love u again. Poster 1 all u need to do is try calling him or if its possible 4 u to see him, fair enof. Then ask him reasons 4 his action bt if it proves abortive then 4get him. Never say its gone be easy. Goodluck bt never force him to love cos it won't be real.
ReplyDeletePoster no 1.maybe he is actually engaged to somebody else.it has happened to a lot of people I knw.he takes u to c his family just to make u seem important. That's why is best not offer a guy anytn in a rltnship 100 percent..don't become a wife when u r not yet one.don't gv him ur hole heart..so that when u r leaving..u r leaving like a boss.he will eventuallly come back to you..bet me.aldoe by then it myt be too late.t hurts but believe me,u would get over him alryt. E-hugs!
ReplyDeletePoster No1: I feel ur pain but u have to be strong for yourself.if u are close to any of his friend try and find out from them if your boyfriend told them what u did wrong to him.look for a friend u can always talk to,who will encourage you always,cry it out and tell God to help you it Ease the pains also.there is no shame in telling your family about it is not ur fault.when men want to move on, they don't look back and they move on too fast too.tell yourself you deserve better goodluck.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, you have been sleeping with each other for 10years as boyfriend and girlfriend? Nawa o. Fornication for that long? God is merciful. You have #see-finish-syndrome. Do the needful ASAP. Passion, attraction fades with time. Only love lasts. Build your relationship on things that are concrete like love, commitment, mutual respect, understanding, trust. These are what sustains a relationship when passion fades and sex is no longer exciting.
ReplyDeleteYes its possible
ReplyDeleteSome Men can be funny.
Mayb he has seen a better Babe
Mayb her pussy is more tighter and juicy.
Mayb u nuh dey wet well
Mayb u use Alum to wash the pussy too much
You were busy doing wifey instead of acting gf
Mayb he saw ur chat with anoda Toaster.
P1! U aint telling us the whole truth until then! I can't deal!
ReplyDeleteThere's never smoke without fire!
P2! What the heck were u thinking?
10yrs? Am freaking out here!
If u date for 10 yrs then how long re u gonna be married?
See finish don enter!
Like is or not!
U see me as I be old woman so abi? After 3month if u can't exclusive I don't move on!
After exclusive if u don't put a ring on it then am finally done
Less u young girl that's just starting life
Well I don't know what to advice u cos never been in ur shoes
Rather break an engagement that just dating and for that long?
Hell NO!!!
U better get ur bearing and decide what u want!
P1. Some marriages don't even last ten years. Take it you were married and it's now over. The ring does not a marriage make. Move on.
ReplyDeletePoster num 1 from the comments he make wen abusing you,you should know what you did or the reason for the break up.Atimes in life we can't even find words or reasons for our actions.Meeting your whole family means nothing.If you marry him cos everyone knows you guy and u don't want to face d so called shame of a boy dumping you my dear u might still run out of the marriage later.There is no compensation in marriage.You marry for love even though love is not enough.If you really see he is not considering you back try and patch up.Move on with your life,it's ain't easy but that's not the end of the world.Move on with your life.Delete his memories and move on
ReplyDeletePeople fall in and out of love everyday.
ReplyDeleteIf your relationship is not giving you joy again, kindly discuss it with your partner and move on.
A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.
You can't force love.
Time heals all wounds.
No1,I absolutely undand ur pains,but I have a good news for u darling,count it all blessing when u do all u can do n it neva worked out,d hand of God is actually in it. Now a friends testimony that might inspire u, my v close friend,she dated a guy for 4yrs,this guy is frm responsible n religious family,she fell head ova heel in love wt him,afta ha nysc d guy started messing up,changed! The truth is,our maternal instinct knows when things are right or wrong. Eventually,d guy married anoda lady hmmm,she felt she wuld die,I did everythn a good friend wuld do 2console a friend,she was uncontrollable (so bad when we make human beings our God) God is God n will nt compete wt anoda. So,I adviced ha 2travel to abj where ha elder sister lives wt ha family,thanks goodness she listened n left,that's where d healing started,I remember then she was cursing d guy n swearing n all sorts of things bad emotions can bring by,but dat abj trip brought ha closer 2God afta too much nite tears,she faced God,I called ha one day n I was happy how she changed n told me dat God is in control that she now prays 4d guy,she is asking God 2forgive ha n d guy 4d things they did while in dat relationship. My dear,that's how one day,a guy she deleted ha fone called ha no,she picked n d guy asked ha if she is @onisha at d moment she said no n she did nt even take d call serious,sorry 4d long gist but I really needed to inspire poste 1. So,ha mum visited ha elder sis@abj n she was meant 2take ha mum back to onisha,when she got there,out of boredom she called d guy (note,dis guy is just a friend) it happened dat ha friend called ha wt d no of a guy who has bn looking for a decent wife,leme cut d long story short,she got married 2011 to dis same guy wt 2boys now n happily married! She married a wealthy tall black guy,d kind of guy every woman wuld pray have! My friend no too fine o,age no longer dey ha side but when its God its usually extra odinary! Oh grace! Grace of God! So beloved,God is doing smthn in ur life now,this mess will turn to a great inspiring message to odas! Its ok 2cry if u must,its ok 2hav sleepless nights but while al ds changes are taking place pls cling on to God dat never change! Hold on n see what God will do in ur life! I'm convinced to tell u dat! You will have d last laugh! Go 2ur mirrow,look at urself,hug urself again n say 2urself,in all abondonment,I trust... Cheers belove!
ReplyDeleteFirst poster, have u tried talking 2 him? Find out if dere's actually sumfin u did wrong. And if u have and he didn't give u a reasonable reason 4 his sudden change in behaviour towards u, den I think it's time u moved on.
ReplyDeleteThere's no time 2 waste time.
2nd poster, u both should try 2 stay apart 4 sometime, maybe dat might help rekindle d lost passion.
Poster no1: sigh, I am tired of post like this, why do females find it difficult to get on with their lives after break up. Now I'm not saying it is not painful, I am saying live through the pain.this advice always work : WHEN THEY SEE YOU STOP CARING, THEY WANT YOU BACK. This is a personal experience. My friend had one very nasty boyfriend when she was in schl, he told her to choose between we her friends and he, he breaks up without any reason sootay my friend sabi all the sad song way dey this world. The last time he tried it I made up my mind to help my friend, we were gifting when break up message enter her phone o. She wanted to start her crying again, I just told her to go and have her bath. I took her out, gave her all the encouragement she needed, I even seized her done so she won't call the idiot. As I am typing this she is with a better person and the ex fool still want her today. MY POINT IS THIS, SOMETHING CHANGED. On a normal day she would have come back crawling and crying. But she did not come back this time around and she earned his respect. THEN MY ADVICE TO ALL LADIES THAT WANT TO TURN THEMSELVES TO DOMESTIC SLAVES IN A GUY'S HOUSE JUST FOR MARRIAGE.*IN PATIENCE VOICE* CONTUNU
ReplyDeletePOSTER2: Ha there is problem o, you guys are not married and d spark is missing.
Bae @ post No 1. Its amazing and shocking how dat d tables turned around overnight. However,u need to know ur crime.get him to tell u. @ d same time ponder on ur owwn and fugure out d problem,cos its possible he's been warning u and. U didn't take heed.some of us men have a way of backing out one Time if we are with a sturborn or unrepentant woman. If. U try all dese check and balances and dey don't work den u best move on.
ReplyDeleten1: change doesn't just happen over nite. its a gradual process. u probably instigated d change of attitude. life is nt all abt playing d "good girl" cos guys r so complicated. they always knw wot dey want. if he doesn't want t tel u d causer of his change in attitude, giv him enof space then move on if he is bent on not coming arnd. n2: google is ur frend. Find out hw t spice up ur r/ship o. If its nt working out now, it might neva work out in marriage. A dead r/ship is beta than a dead marriage.
ReplyDeletePoster No2...10 years???, lol una don f*** every finish na, no spark again. you guys are now like siblings. on a more serious note, you need to put the spark back in your relationship, dinner, romantic evenings, sexy lingerie, sexting
ReplyDeleteet al, hopefully that will help get your groove back on.
N1: don't you think God is trying to save you from problems and aches. Its better u break a dating relationship than having a divorce. Don't mind what people will say, just move along. Introduction to family and friends is not a guarantee for marriage. Everybody will understand, marriage na agreement between both Parties and not to satisfy people's expectations. ~ Blunt Truth
ReplyDeletePoster número une - people of the world at work
ReplyDeletePoster número duo-people of the world at work.
No comment,I await the wise ones to comment.
Poster No1, there is no smoke without fire, u must hv done somethin wrung dat he dose not want to tell u abt or he just noticed some kind of tins dat he dose not like or d guy don tire to they chop eba he won try eat rice, he con de find way, way u go use gv ur self red card, so dat the gir way go de gv am rice go fit waka kome. Poster No2, u guys need to go for counselling.
ReplyDeleteMy dear sister listen to my story and console yourself. I dated a guy for 4years n never once did I cheat on him,God is my witness.He took me home and introduced me to his family and friends. He was cheatin on me seriously n at a time I decided to move on. I suffered in d hands of this guy cos I loved him to a fault.only God knows wat I passed through in his hands. One fateful day I caught him redhanded after lying that he was travelling. Unknown to him my friend saw him d previous day n told me. I walked out and dt was d end of d relationship. As if that was not enough he went about telling blatant lies against me.
ReplyDeleteRecently he tried deceivin himself askin me for forgiveness cos he is about getting married. He claims he wronged me n told lies against me n dt his conscience has been troubling me. This is coming after 5yrs we parted ways. Right now am single and not in any relationship bt dt won't make me settle for less.
That he dumped you is not the end of your life,move on,look good, dress well etc.if he is a real man he will sit u down n tell u y it wnt work. Tell him you can survive without him. God forbid if u lose ur job cos of him,you will never forgive yourself I bet u. Move on its not the end of the world
Since it seems there is no reason for his new attitude, where do we start to help you out, nne? There must be something wrong. Till we hear that missing part, it will be difficult to help you out. Only that you try and join the #singlesmingleunit. If it comes to that. Narr.2: 10yrs rocking? Nothing new to rock again naa. All d sex positions and gymnastics have been flogged and over-flogged. Nothing fresh again. Soup and stew taste the same from the pot. Just kuku marry am now for companionship sake then. Wetin you wan make I talk again?
ReplyDeleteMst u even marry who dated u or who u dated? Pls dnt Jst put a trust on a guy or woman until he or she takes u to d alter.
ReplyDeletePoster 2,u said u always try to end things but end up coming back together,what brings u guys back together is sex and not love. Maybe u guys should stay celibate for few months so as to ascertain if u guys really luv urselves then,we can talk about ur "passion"
ReplyDeleteTo poster no 1.
ReplyDeleteMy story is similar to yours. I was with the guy for 3 years.
And I did everything and I mean everything for him. In the end I had to wake up to the reality that he never loved me just took me for an expensive ride and took 3 year of my life that I could have spent with somebody else. But you know what, I decided that I am going survive and live to declare the glory of the Lord in my life and that this is not the end of me. And I open my mouth and told my family. And guess what they love me and supported me and I am making it one day at a time. And you will too. Leave everything to God. What God will do to him in the end for the lie and the deceit is worse than what you will ever do to him. Don't be surprise if you end up being the one to beg God on his behave. Just make a decision to overcome this and you will. Don't listen to what people will say as long as you have peace that is all that matter.
Hmmmmmm poster number one your story is complete I believe you. Some guys are heartless, same happened,the guy know my card pin to even withdraw money anytime,i cook and loved him but the idiot broke my heart and went for another because am not his tribe I do not even understand.everything changed when he left back to nigeria. For that reason any fucking guy who comes my way I don't love with my heart.they are silly. Trust no guy I tell you.hmmm others are suffering for his act cos am so angry
ReplyDeleteMtchewwwwwwwww how silly guys are.you give them ur heart, waste ur time,just Becos they see you finish they will like to break ur heart. Pls ladies start hiding everything pretend to the idiotic stupid men. Inkita like them. Ewu. Girl clean yourself and make yourself happy. You will have the last laugh in the end I can assure you that. Don't even do as if it's paining you so that he will feel hurt,the more you cry the more important he feels. Nonsense dick head
Mtchewwwwwww
Sexy F
Sigh, if you close your eyes because of the bad ones, when the good ones are passing you will not know.
DeletePoster No1: I feel your pain and pray you get healed pretty soon and move on with your life. I know this is the last thing you'd want to hear at this time but guess what it's the bitter truth. Assume that guy shouldn't have been in your life in the 1st instance, so thank God he's gone for good. No man who geniuely loves you would treat you that way. No word? How do you get closure and learn from your mistakes (if there was anyways) and apply that to your future relationship.
ReplyDeleteWell, I really think we girls should have a limit on what we do and how we show affection to our guys, it will help our value in their eyes and prevent see finish. When you outrightly render wifely services to a guy, he's comfy and not in any hurry to make it perm.
Poster No2: hard, difficult and as callous as it may sound; I think you guys should call it quit. Haba! 10years of doing what?
My dear sisters abi fellow ladies (lol) there's a timeline for everything o, even relationship. If someone is a relationship with some random guy who is relatively settled in terms of a stable source of income and age wise, omoo 2 years of bf and gf is good enough o. If you don't see green light pls run, even where there's no other guy next door. (atimes one door has to close for another to open)
Last point ladies is, the longer time a man spend with you, the harder and more reluctant it is for him to make you perm in his life because the thrills, chills and excitement is all gone! Let's be wise, watch and pray like the bible rightly told us.
p1: something must be up. Maybe he found out something about you....or bad people are at work. whatever the case, he should come out and speak to you about it, so you can defend yourself or not! If it is an allegation found to be true, you will be wiser and not repeat it in another relationship...
ReplyDeletep2: Asides love and friendship, only the passion between both of you can keep u going. ...He should set up insides ablaze and vice versa. your bodies become one and there's a fresh covenant/bond between you too every time you partake in the sacred thing called lovemaking.... If it isn't there, then please walk.... my ex got married some months back. I excited him, but he didn't do it for me. I left the relationship cos I know what lovemaking is about....It is a connection of the soul and should be enjoyed by both parties....It u can afford it, please see a therapist.
@1st poster...."you will understand today tomorrow". You will hurt for a long time, u will lose weight, u will cry at night but in the end you will come out strong. I have been there my dear. That's what happens when you show your partner they are your "all in all" and they begin to feel you can't survive without them. Be strong! Stand firm!! Mudiaga!!!
ReplyDeleteEwoooooo.....
ReplyDeleteU put ur eggs in one basket but forgot to put ur basket in God's hand
ReplyDeletePoster 1: Sweetheart, why on heart will you cook and wash for a BOYFRIEND, dont you understand that there is a big difference between BF and HUBBY, How can you allow a man enjoy all he ought to enjoy after paying your bride price. I have also learnt that you should not be quick to display your relationship in the public until you are very sure of it... Common ladies, whatsup now, truth is the guy is tired of you playing the wifey role wen u aint married to him yet. Get your groove back on girl, how i wish ladies know how powerful they are, you have the power, he should fight for u, u have done too much... Please i want all ladies in the house to get this book... THE SECRET OF AN IRRESISTIBLE WOMAN BY MICHELLE MCKINNEY HAMMOND, You will never remain the same after reading it. How can i wash for my boyfriend, i never wash my own well... Puhleeeeeze darling, be strong.. kisses
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I dont even know what to say, 10 years, what else, nothing... That is too long and am sure u av done more than expected.. 2years is ENOUGH and once you see that it aint going anywhere, look elsewhere, the problem with ladies is FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN, u feel u will never meet someone that is better that the person u are dating, that is not true... WAKE UP LADIES
Nawa ooooo,I dnt even knw what to say again because we have treated similar issues here severally.hmmmm efe enyegi
ReplyDeletePoster1 my dear I don't paste my guy pix on my dp or anywhere,non of my frnds knows him or family,just my sis,the day I will flaunt a man is a man that is ready to walk me to the aisle,and my frnds will know him a mth to my wedg thro pre-wedg photos what I went thro with my ex wen we broke up eh
ReplyDeletePoster1: there is no smoke without fire, I feel there is something you are not telling us maybe something you did or something your boyfriend thinks you did. Or it could be that boyfriend has found someone else and just doesn't know how to break up with you. Either way you need to pick yourself up cos its not the end of the world, you'll feel better as time goes on and if he continues with this attitude you'll have to call it quits with him( maybe he's waiting for you to do the breaking up). Time heals all wounds.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: did d passion just die all of a sudden or is it that the passion has never been there, if the latter is d ansa den there's really nothing to be done I say this cos I've been in a relationship and I there was absolutely no chemistry between me and the guy, I mean zero chemistry try as I could it just wasn't there and we where the best of friends so we had to call it quits. Cos I wasn't gonna marry a man and have a miserable sex life. So if this is the case the best thing to do is to go your separate ways. But if not then I don't really know wat to tell you.
@1st poster...."you will understand today tomorrow". You will hurt for a long time, u will lose weight, u will cry at night but in the end you will come out strong. I have been there my dear. That's what happens when you show your partner they are your "all in all" and they begin to feel you can't survive without them. Be strong! Stand firm!! Mudiaga!!!
ReplyDeleteNarrative no1 I had similar issue.could do anything for her,even kill for her.all of a sudden started changing and moving far away frm me,that period we had a little quarrel. She blocked me on fb,what's apps,stopped pikin my calls n stopped answering my pings.what Iwill tell u dat u should share it with family members ,close frnds,if u keep to ursef it will eat you deep and pls do nt think about suicide,and go closer to God it helps
ReplyDeleteNa wa o
ReplyDeleteBV no 1, I have been there b4, d only reason mine gave was that prophets said they saw death. 2 months later he married someone else, then started calling me that his manhood is not working. It took God to know how to tell family and friends who are waiting for our marriage. I went thru depression and lost suitors who thot am getting married. Different advice from ppl confuse me d more. My dear, trust God to heal ur broken heart. Thank God for this blog, at least u can get some objective advice here. Be strong in d Lord dear.
ReplyDelete@ the 2nd poster, if you guys keep coming back, that's a good sign. What you need is direction. Your relationship has no purpose yet and that's why there's no passion.
ReplyDeleteOnce you guys settle into marriage and start to build a family and your future together in all earnestness the passion will come.
Commit to a future with each other. Make God Almighty the foundation of your marriage and my dear your marriage will be blissful. ADDYFEL
Hmmnn women have suffered sha. Kai! Please pray. Poster no one, ask him what u did wrong but above all pray. Its well.
ReplyDeleteIts a lonely world but God can "set the solitary in family. I pray for all of us single ladies looking for a wonderful man to spend the rest of our life with. May God help us and let His light shine on us. Amen.
Lolz stories
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1 should be what is the reason for the change
Narrative 2 close to ten years if you where married to him would you have left the marriage because sex is no longer interesting,ten years people get mind oh
Hmmnn women have suffered sha. Kai! Please pray. Poster no one, ask him what u did wrong but above all pray. Its well.
ReplyDeleteIts a lonely world but God can "set the solitary in family. I pray for all of us single ladies looking for a wonderful man to spend the rest of our life with. May God help us and let His light shine on us. Amen.
Poster 1, You did nothing wrong just that your boo is seeing someone else and in a hurry to end the relationship with you OR he heard something about you or your past relationship.
ReplyDeletewhat you need to do is visit him and tell him you have accepted fate but just want to know what happened and also to wish him well in future endeavors.
Tell him you already know there is another lady in the picture but for the loved you once shared he should have respected you enough to let you know than putting you through emotional torture
Poster 2. Only God can help you. There is nothing SDK BVs can do for you bcus both of you have lost spark of sex in the relationship after 10 years. Now that you guys are suppose to be as close as brothers and sisters the devils is beginning to play its tricks.... If you guys can afford it go on vacation outside the country or a near by state to spark up the relationship
Mmmm Relationships and all its drama sef, can't deal jawe.....waiting for comments!! #LynxxGal#
ReplyDeletePoster 2,if there's no passion what are u still doing there? Once u have any doubt in ur relationship pls listen to ur doubts,its telling u smthing. One thing love can neva b is unsure! Love is so sure of its emotions n its passion is powerful! Wtout passion what's love then? 10yrs is a long time to observe what's in n what's out! I'm so convinced u no d ans 2ur narration! Pls,b completely honest wt urself n don't decide wt fear! If it means taking a walk out of his life pls walk,walk now than lata,don't compromise wt ur decisions dear,take charge n b d CEO of ur life! All d best!
ReplyDeleteBLOG ANALYSER: hian! @ poster 1. This is heart breaking! I can understand. I was once on ur shoe. Chai! Very painful. In my case I became despirate for him not for the marriage coz my inner most thoughts told me he wasn't the one.I just wanted that tittle my boy friend. Funny enough he dated that side chick briefly nd discovered that I was better 100 hundred percent better. He came back begging nd confessed. Guess what? I shoved it aside and planned my exit. Lucckily I went for NYSC and I met some one. That was how he became a history. Till date he can't believe I walked out. The moral of the story is relax, cry coz I cried then. Change enviroment nd if it is not possible. Then mingle nd hangout. Surely nd slowly a man will come in to ur life and swipe u off ur feet.
ReplyDeleteposter no 1, it is looking like guys find pleasure in breaking ladies heart? please ladies wiser up, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Don't love again, play along. if it results to marriage, then bring real love, but if it doesn't, to your tenth oh Israel and everybody will live happy ever after. if a guy is serious about you, you will know by his action. I think God from day one i ve not be a victim of dumpees. Before your even start to think about it, am already gone, and when you were serious, i will make sure i cut my pound of flesh, there will be nothing to lose when you start dancing your Azonto.
ReplyDeleteI was dating a girl b4 like 2years plus but when i started telling her all about me nd my litle secret while being more than open with her,,menh de lady start acting as she own me than my mother and always keeping silents to my questions nd she can never do any thing i asked her to do,she acts as a master to me,,menh then i changed nd plained for a break up,,she called me a wicked man then nd now she started now to ask for a forgiveness,but is too late cos i was the one pleading her to change good then
ReplyDeletePoster I was in your shoes before, the first thing I did was I refused to assume I did anything wrong. I prayed and fasted about it like my life depended on it, I cried when I miss him but always make sure I don't dwell on the old days. I mingled with my family and was so quick to tell anybody who asked that we are no longer together, this helped in passing the news around and I took my in another way. Changed my usually look, dressed well infact started wearing some clothes that make me look sexy and I lost a little weight to give me a new look. My dear, you can't believe the number of suitors I now have, but the truth is I am now enjoying my single life that I don't want a relationship for now. I realize there are somethings in me that I never discovered until now. And am still exploring my self. It pains, hurts and in fact sad, but life goes on. Don't allow any man get the best of your youthful year. Shake yourself, dress well, mingle, go on vacation(if you can afford it) talk about it and get a closure. Don't wait for him to come back, he might he might not. But don't give him the satisfaction that you are waiting for him. Move on like nothing happen.
ReplyDeletePoster No 1, its either u must ave done something wrong, or he has seen sumone else or its bin in his mind 4 a long time and when he is seeing dat u both are on d verge of a life time commitment, fear den drives him to act d way he is. Whichever way, u both nid a heart to heart discussion. Asides dat, u need to be prayerful coz evry battle starts spiritualy b4 it manifests physically. It myt be d wrk of a hater, who knows?. Just take it easy ok. Dia must be a solution
ReplyDeletePoster one,when I was reading this I felt like I was d one.this particular thing happened to me last year, as in every single thing u said up there guys can be so mean am over it now sha n I feel ur pain dear just mingle with people that will make u happy #cheers *LEENDAH*
ReplyDelete@ Anonymous 3:55pm, dat guy have a real chick, he is only using u as his side chick. My advice for u is to run as fast as u legs can carry u
ReplyDeletePoster1 just calm down and think of ur future Rada Dan dwelling on d past cos he is history.......and put faith in God cuz he is d only one dat can help u cum out of dis ur situation
ReplyDeleteIt haPpened to me, but I have since learnt not to revolve my life around one person. Please do something that's fun...try hanging out with your girls and diss the hell out of the mumu... There are many fishes in the ocean jare!
ReplyDeletehttp://earn4youth.com/?ref=17689
Many gal heart hav been broken n many gals heart wil stil broken,shit happen just be urself n u can see from dose comment dt it has happen to so many gals b4.Nt all relationship wil lead to marriage.Ur ex left u for a gal like u so u too shld go for a man bt becareful n used ur brain cuz 98% of guys are nt serious some wil make u appreciate ur ex while some wil make happy dan him n dont listen to pple dt said u shld play hard to get cuz dt dont work for guys nowadays,if a guy wil stay he stay n if he wil go he wil go no mata hw hard u play hard to get.
ReplyDeleteSee TBH y'all advising her to see him one last time for closure are giving the wrong established advice. You just end up making a fool of yourself. You start asking desperate questions like
ReplyDelete1) what did I do wrong
2) dint you love me at all
3) there is another girl right
4) what do you expect me to tell them at home.
Please just move on with your life with dignity.
Poster2: seems to me like you have commitment-phobia. You guys have been off and on for 10 years, now you are finally on and you are talking about lost passion. Even people in marriages of 10years feel the same way. Abeg go and marry jor. You think say you be small pikin? And while you are at it, think up ways to spice up your MARRIAGE. All the best.
ReplyDeleteKehinde Ake, get in here for Poster 2.
ReplyDeleteTo the posters, make una take heart.
ReplyDeleteTo the posters, make una take heart.
ReplyDeleteI don't even understand girls that plaster pictures of their men all over the Internet.
ReplyDeleteMy pictures dey gallery, I never even use am.
My papa na my #mancrushmonday on Instagram.
And why am I seeing people asking the first poster to see the guy for some last minute explanation ?
For what ?
Babe, pick the shreds of the remaining integrity you have left and walk away.
But chai, heartbreak can be painful. It will just be doing you like film trick.
Tbvh, you might not recover until a year.
The pain ebbs away slowly.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Please don't let any nuccur get you sad. This is just a sign that he's not the one for you. If he got up and left for no reason now, he will do it again. I've been in this situation and I nearly lost my mind. Evn contemplated suicide. My then bf jst got up and left for no reason after two abortions. He said his dad was a failure and he just saw his dad through himself so he dint want to spoil my lyf. He came back begging but I had moved on. Now I'm happily married with a beautiful family. Please move on and fuck the bastard jor
ReplyDeleteLove sometimes hurts_
ReplyDeleteLong comments today from BVs on top of this topics. The kind of one sided stories some ladies bring up here about men can be very annoying, i wish the guys can come out and defend themselves. @ poster 1, I don't think any guy wake-up and end relationships without reasons, the problem is that some men can keep things in their heart until your cup is filed up. Don't say he just broke up with you without reason maybe (You shit for church) reason he walked away. When a man correct you ladies, you either say he is arrogant,self centred, rude because most times the truth is bitter and some of you don't like to hear the truth when a man send out that warning signal. Peace be unto your heart move on such is life.
ReplyDelete