Shelby Swink, 23, met her ex-fiancé in college back in 2011 and they hit it off right away. The two were happily engaged by March 2014, planning for a November wedding.
“I poured my heart and soul into the wedding plans, because I wanted the day that would celebrate our love and commitment for each other to be absolutely amazing,” Swink told BuzzFeed News.
But when the week of the wedding arrived, Swink’s then-fiancé told her that he was not in love with her and didn’t want to get married.
with her parents |
“Bam. My dreams of marrying and having kids with what I thought was the man I would spend the rest of my life with vanished,” she said.
“I was in complete shock and had no idea what to think or do. I was numb. The next few days were a blur of calling guests and canceling vendors.”
Swink said she was lucky to have her friends and family supporting her, but none of them knew what to do or how to act when what was supposed to be her wedding day rolled around.
But she knew one thing for certain: “A pity party was the farthest thing from what I wanted or needed,” she said.
So the wedding photographer brought up an idea to have a “trash the dress” photo shoot where they would ruin her wedding dress and take fun, nontraditional photos in rebellion.
“At first it sounded crazy, but after really thinking about it, I knew that it was the perfect thing for me,” Swink said. “After all, it was just a dress, a material item.”
“Nov. 1 was supposed to be a fun and happy day surrounded by friends and family who loved me,” Swink continued. “I decided that I would not let my ex-fiancé’s mistake of letting me go take that away from me.”The former bride-to-be asked both of her parents to be involved in the photo shoot.“My mom is the one who paid for the dress, so I was nervous as to how she would react when I told her what I wanted to do with it. But both of them were 100% supportive and wanted to be there for me.”
Swink’s dad even brought along some champagne and cigars.
She also wanted her bridesmaids to be there, and they ended up being just as excited as Swink to take the photos.
“I couldn’t have asked for a better group of friends.”culled
Swink’s dress is also being displayed in a local bridal shop in Memphis through the beginning of January. A portion of the proceeds from each dress bought while it’s on display are going to a local nonprofit called Be Free Revolution.
“I can’t even describe how liberating and cathartic the experience was for me,” said Swink. “The moment the first bit of paint hit my dress I was free.”
Despite the fact that she was broken up with a week before her wedding, Swink remains positive and full of inspiration for others.
“Instead of lying down and letting life trample over me, I decided to get up and face it head-on,” she said.
And if she could say one thing to her ex, this is what it would be: “Thank you for sparing me greater pain and loss down the road. Thank you for pushing me to realize my own strength…”
“…Thank you for teaching me that no one can take away my happiness. Thank you for letting me go so I can one day experience true reciprocated love. THANK YOU!”
This is good love the concept.
ReplyDeleteWow! Am so happy for her, I pray she finds genuine and unending love and happiness soon in Jesus name
DeleteWow! Wow!! Wow!!!
DeleteThis is the kind of thing i might do.
21 gun salute for this super strong lady.
She's my kind of girl.
Wow! Inspiring. Nothing is worth killing yourself for jare
DeleteO napuru ekwensu ike!!
DeleteSo brave of her
Deletehttp://bit.ly/13ObBYB
E get as it be oooo....... She looks happy though!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your strand staying strong, I really learnt a lot.
DeleteOne and Only Ada David Omobabalanu
MR EDDY said.
DeleteNice one dear. Life goes on
^
^
^™THAT EDO BOY.COM~wishes u merry Christmas and a happy new year.
Dat is white pple for u dey know how to handle distressing issues...but here in 9ja tinz are not done dat way
ReplyDeleteHmm. White pple knowing hw to handle distress? No comment
Delete9 out of 10 whites are fragile...this lady is one in a million...others wulda committed suicide...
DeleteThat's d spirit
ReplyDeleteNa d guy loose
@Galore
Awww! And she's so pretty. Wish her the best
DeleteWow!! Dts great. But d girl get guts sha!!!
ReplyDeleteStanding ovation mehnn...
ReplyDeleteWhat a healing action!
Rather than crying her eyes out with head buried in embarrassment, she turned the situation around.
Bravo!
Exactly!
DeleteI love her spirit and courage
ReplyDeleteYea sane here. No time for a pity party
DeleteWow!turning every bad situation into a joyous one,don't allow any1 take away your happiness,everything happens for a reason.
ReplyDeleteWow! Strong geh.
ReplyDeleteNice!
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Lmaoo.... I love this pic. Wishing her all the best......
*GLO BRING 3G TO KONTAGORA*
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
This woman sure has got lot of courage,and her actions are more tricksy, I hope she dosnt go back to retaliate.
ReplyDeleteAwwwwww. .....
ReplyDeleteH A R M L E S S
awww!..so touching
ReplyDeleteLool. A nigerian bride would probably go into hibernation cos of the shame. Better luck to her next time.
ReplyDeleteClick my name for all your celebration cakes and cupcakes, cheers
This is how JayEm will be dumped at the altar. That's if at all she's engaged. Fucking moron
ReplyDeleteBuahahahaha too funny
DeleteU are a wicked person.why wish someone you dnt know such evil
DeleteHaba...na wa o . I rebuke it In jesus name
DeleteHaba!
DeleteWhat's with the bad wishes?
Na new year be dis abeg. Leave people to God, whether na true or na lie dem de talk, it shouldn't be your business...
Who held your destiny in 2014??? Please this is 2015. Release yourelf. Only you have the power to!
DeleteHa nah wah! Guys please don't do this to ladies. Some women can kill for this.
ReplyDeleteSmart ass I'm glad she didn't allow the nitwit take her happiness from her.
ReplyDeleteThank God for your strength and courage
ReplyDeleteNo one should dictate your happiness to you.You can only truly make YOU happy.i like the part of not dwelling in a pity-party state..memo to self.
ReplyDeleteThis right here is what I call Positive Attitude. Inspirational, never letting her condition or circumstances dictate her future. ( Crazy and spontaneous way of going about it though.) Lol.
ReplyDeleteMmiiiiiiiiiiiiri Mara ogede.
ReplyDeleteChiwetalu agu's exclamation abi
DeleteThis right here is what I call Positive Attitude. Inspirational, never letting her condition or circumstances dictate her future. ( Crazy and spontaneous way of going about it though.) Lol.
ReplyDeleteLuv her courage. she is a strong woman.
ReplyDeleteYou see..
ReplyDeleteNo one holds your happiness.
NB- Stella, I saw a post and it disappeared just as I was about to open it. Mehn, that shit is like rapture. I've not experienced it though. Revert it doh...
Oghenetejiri.
jeez
ReplyDeleteI think shes got guts and that's good. I really feel her pains
ReplyDeleteI love this!!! This is how it should be! She's a super strong lady. I don't blame the ex either, maybe something was amiss and he wasn't comfortable. It takes a ton of courage to break it off with your spouse to be a week before the wedding. It's better than entering a marriage miserable! They are strong people.I hope she gets reciprocated love like she wishes and I hope he finds a woman he would be excited to walk down the aisle with. It shows there's no situation we can't come out of and no circumstance we can't beat if we're willing and ready.Sometimes life happens and we just have to go with and make ourselves smile. It is well for both of them.
ReplyDeleteDtz y I dn't luv,guys re so wicked......hi every1 pls help me on my sch fees. This happen to b my last hope. I'll b so happy if I could get help frm here. Plss my people,my exams is very close n I haven't completed my fees yet. Thanks,larryfresh09
ReplyDeletebambiala
DeleteWow...this is so cool. I totally love this and buy the idea.
ReplyDeleteAeegurl...
Ehyaaa
ReplyDeleteWay to go gurl. Wish alot of us have ur kind of straight.
ReplyDeleteWow I love white people they ways are not our ways.
ReplyDeleteLinda Eze is dis you?
DeleteYeah. Don't know y she's hiding.
DeleteNo that's not Linda. If it was her it would have read: Wow I love white people they way are not our way.
DeleteAnd most of 'em are on the big side. I thought whites were crazy about bn thin/anorexic. Good to knw there are exceptions to the rule in this case.
ReplyDeleteAeegurl...
Don't I just love the whites......kisses dear bride that would have been. I HATE PITY PARTY!
ReplyDeletehhahahahahahah,abi what is she suppose to do kill her self ,rather she did what made her happy.
ReplyDeleteOyinbo and their mugulism!!
ReplyDeleteShe's just trying to make herself feel better..at least it's better than crying..
I'm sure she's gonna cry when d novelty wears off.
I am afraid for her ex because people like these wimen are killers.
They tell U they are ok,smile,make d whole ish seem like it's nothing...magazine interview her,a reality show might even be discussed,she pretends to be excited and BAM, HE'S DEAD!!!
She genuinely mourn him,has temporary insanity and is admitted......
She is truly sorry but she consoles herself that she did d right thing and if she can't Ve him no one should so d moral thing to do was yo kill him.
Bwahahahaha.........
na overfeeding dey worry me.
Ezewanyi am glad you know you are talking crap...
DeleteMy hubby says I watch too much crime tv.. gives me the weird look when he sees the excitement on my face as I try to unravel mysteries with them..
DeleteAm just imagining this babe going to the Ex's house after the photoshoot with her trashed up gown and a pistol in her hand...
Maybe,i should have been a Cop.lol
Mama the attention seeking animal.It takes a great thinker to think out of the box.
DeleteIphie,it's not late. Come yoin us
DeleteI love her spirit!
ReplyDeleteLife goes on,this is a message to all disappointed brides and divorcees.
Did she really have that fatso in her train?
ReplyDeleteOriegwu
At 23 ma u look way older than me
Good luck with your life
Positivity from negativity!
ReplyDeleteStrong lady..i love dis
ReplyDeleteAww!!!!!!! Sowie dearie....
ReplyDeleteDts a painful n sad experience... Better dan divorce tho...
She had to let go in her own way...
May we never experience such in Jesus name... Amen.
OK na
ReplyDeleteI really like d idea
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness... i have to go anonymous on this one.
ReplyDeleteDon't I just love this girl. I feel this connection with her cos somehow we have gone through same thing and just like her am keeping my head up and enjoying the roller coaster.
My husband of few months decided to take a walk and I bet he least expected the reaction he got from me and my parents.
Geez!! Tears are just rolling down my eyes as I recall all our expectations, plans and all my family and friends put in for the marriage to be a success.
And just like her, I have realized no one holds the key to my happiness and it was simply good riddance to bad rubbish.
Success is the best revenge and am so praying to be so blessed he wouldn't help but regret his actions.
Shit does happen and am so flexing my single hood again, never knew I could have this amount of fun being single.
Shout out to estranged wives who are keeping it strong like me, may the Lord bless our huzzles
Be strong dear...
DeleteAs long as there is life,there is a future,a bright one ahead!
Awwwwww
DeleteHugs to you Anon 5:42
Don't worry, your true better half will locate you soon.
God bless you.
The lord is your strength dear
DeleteThe Lord is ur strength dear. Good man will soon locate u....
DeleteWow!!!!she is so strong.....I love her gut....I pray she finds a good man after God's heart.....
ReplyDelete#okbye
Wow!!!!she is so strong.....I love her gut....I pray she finds a good man after God's heart.....
ReplyDelete#okbye
hmm nah wah. Abeg i support her jare.*green cupcake*
ReplyDeleteThat's the spirit!Some dumb girls would write to stella in chronicles and ask if they should move on with their lives or confront the idiot why he stopped loving her all of a sudden!mtchewwww.
ReplyDeleteAwww.... sad but inspirational.
ReplyDeleteStells plz allow me ask your bvs if any of them knows where I can get BODY MAGIC and WAIST CLINCHERS( I pray I got the name right) for my mom in Awka or Enugu.
ReplyDeleteKindly include the price range and any contact address so I can hook up with you....
EZENWANYI GROUP AND COMPANIES(worldwide) plz kindly comment if u can help me... i once came across it in one of your comments.
PLZ SOMEONE SHOULD HELP ME...
Leave Ezenwanyi ibilibi ogada alone.
DeleteLeave ur email and I'll contact u.
DeleteDon't i just love dem whites...dey don't tk life too seriously
ReplyDelete“…Thank you for teaching me that no one can take away my happiness. Thank you for letting me go so I can one day experience true reciprocated love. THANK YOU!”
ReplyDeleteThis was the exact phrase i told a friend today after being dropped by her fiancé of many years.
Awwww I love her spirit..she's rili strong. It it were to b in naija, some women wld av ran mad or be hospitalised. That's to show there's no need crying over spilt milk. Hopefully she'l find sme1 that will treat her better.
ReplyDeletei admire her strength and courage to face her pain head on, in moment like this, it is better to breathe, let it all go and let God, amazing lady
ReplyDeleteBitter sweet story.can't deal
ReplyDeleteVisit #www.teenagecourt.com
Wow!
ReplyDeleteSTrong lady.
Stells plz allow me ask your bvs if any of them knows where I can get BODY MAGIC and WAIST CLINCHERS( I pray I got the name right) for my mom in Awka or Enugu.
ReplyDeleteKindly include the price range and any contact address so I can hook up with you....
EZENWANYI GROUP AND COMPANIES(worldwide) plz kindly comment if u can help me... i once came across it in one of your comments.
PLZ SOMEONE SHOULD HELP ME...
Way to go, girl. I love your spirit. It's his loss.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI pray she finds true love.
ReplyDeleteWow! Can u imagine some bride would think of d worst but here she decided to make herself happy knowing that no man what so ever should take away ur happiness cos they most time don't deserve it
ReplyDeleteAww that's so sweet..
ReplyDeleteDunno why some men are just stupid nd crazy! I love how she didn't let him break her!
Wow! Can u imagine some bride would think of d worst but here she decided to make herself happy knowing that no man what so ever should take away ur happiness cos they most time don't deserve it
ReplyDeleteWow! Can u imagine some bride would think of d worst but here she decided to make herself happy knowing that no man what so ever should take away ur happiness cos they most time don't deserve it
ReplyDeleteThat is whites for you oo
ReplyDeleteDumb. She should have sold it or donate it to charity. Finger painting and ruining a perfectly good and probably expensive dress is immature and thoughtless. The stupidest jilted bride award goes to...this chick.
ReplyDeleteBuahahahaha
DeleteAbeg....chill different people have different coping mechanism.... Besides it's her money not yours...when you are in her shoes try and sell it and even make gain I guess that's you own way of dealing with life issues
DeleteI have a colleague and friend that still went ahead and used their honeymoon location..but this time around it was with family.....i think getting over a heartbreak goes beyond monetary value and gains dear..would she have sold their flight tickets and reservations?
DeleteAt that point,you are looking to heal..
The "Trash the dress" pictures I saw was that of some divorced mothers,still angry and feeling dumped...they came together,organised a photoshoot and trashed their gowns with paints,water,cut them to shreds...it is not about the money sometimes.
What a courageous woman. Handling rejection very well.
ReplyDeleteThe smile is so genuine to her eyes. God bless her.
Peace be with the man.
Chai what a nightmare. To be jilted at the altar!
Wow!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's the spirit! But this na pure werey, sha!
ReplyDeleteNdi ocha and their ways!
Superb.....
ReplyDeleteHnmmm! What a world.
ReplyDeleteOyinbo dia ways too easy. ...nice one dear.
ReplyDeleteHow nice,
ReplyDeleteLife must go on ojare.
Strong Woman! No man can make u bad or unhappy except u allow it
ReplyDeleteErrm, if I buy am wetin I go cari am do? Btween u r a strong gal swink!
ReplyDeleteLol. I have seen a lot of "Trash the dress" pictures,but I think this tops it all...
ReplyDeleteI guess it is therapeutic as well.
Aww...People deal with grief in different ways.
ReplyDeleteShe is a strong woman,
ReplyDeleteNot so easy....she's got guts. Love should be reciprocated. It's good she didn't go down the lane. Their union would have been filled with holes. Compliments of the season y'all!
ReplyDeleteshe's real brave. hugs sweety
ReplyDeleteWow
ReplyDeleteLovely
ReplyDeleteWaow
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwww........
ReplyDeleteI feel for her, chai.
I just love this lady.
ReplyDeleteStrong hearted.
Yes oooooo! Dats d best idea, d guy tot she wil kill herself! I wish other gals wil hv such mind.
ReplyDeleteLMAoooooo,crazy fella
ReplyDeleteAwesome! She has great parents and friends.
ReplyDeleteWow
ReplyDeleteU go girl!! Such a strong young lady
ReplyDeleteHmmm. Strong woman. Ntoor to her ex fiance.*tongue.out*
ReplyDeleteWow! Now that's the best example of when life gives you "lemon, you make lemonades". You're in charge of your own happiness. Go girl!
ReplyDeleteWow nothing is as sweet as having a free spirit
ReplyDeleteGobe raised to power 10! This babe has mind oh. If it's me I would have ran into one hole to hide from the world.
ReplyDeleteSorry for deviating from the post. Make I do amebo small. A kidnapper was caught in ikorodu Lagos ystdy new year day. A nice young lady with very long braids picked up a child but unfortunately for her, the sibling of the child she picked raised an alarm. She started acting as if she was mad. She was beaten black and blue with blood gushing from her nose. Dnt knw what happened afterwards sha bcs I left there. The crowd was too much
ReplyDeleteYou don't say! This is 2015. People gotta be very careful especially with their kids.
DeleteWith the coming election...hmnnnn....
OMG......
DeleteYou don't say!?
Lol.congrats tho..pls post my comment stella
ReplyDeleteI love this. Rather.
ReplyDeleteLife goes on
ReplyDeleteI love this.
ReplyDeleteeeya,na wa o,
ReplyDeleteGeez....she get mind ooo!!!!Good she dint allow the break to weaken her.nice 1....Look at the way the changed that wedding dress lol
ReplyDeleteThis is crazy sha. But if it gave her strength to face the future,thats good.
ReplyDeleteAwesome.. I like that spirit.. Am motivated.
ReplyDeleteEeyah!!! I love her spirit. Thank God for loved ones around her. Wonder why the man had to wait that long to break up. O ga
ReplyDeleteNo one is responsible for your happiness but you. Just do you, love her spirit.
ReplyDeleteWowww!She is a strong woman..
ReplyDeleteAwwwww... Way to go girl! To hell with ur ex! His loss!!!
ReplyDeleteI love her determination to move on, it definitely isn't easy though.
ReplyDeleteThe thing go pain am o,she's just doing oju aaye....she still go home go cry river....woe unto that groom tho.
ReplyDeleteThe thing go pain am o,she's just doing oju aaye....she still go home go cry river....woe unto that groom tho.
ReplyDeleteBLOG ANALYSEr: White people won't stop inspiring me
ReplyDeleteHmmmm no comment!
ReplyDeleteWow... what a way to handle such matter... she did good tho not sitting n wallowing in self pity...
ReplyDeleteOoh I love her courage! Life goes on Swink, u will find TRUE live soon, amen.
ReplyDeleteLove this, positive energy. Plus the dress looks prettier with the colours. Side grin.
ReplyDeleteWow that's so wrong. Good thing she's trying to get over it
ReplyDeleteShe's 23?wow...wld hav pegged her for 32. Nd d bridesmaids thoh.
ReplyDeleteWell...gud for her
Hehehehehe,if na for Africa,the girl go begin go another town to cool off,mama go dey MFM dey cast and bind spirit of spiritual husband,papa go gather kinsmen make dey go ask the man when him go come make dem settle matter,Africa too dey carry matter for head,nne move on abeg! !!!
ReplyDeleteAfrica or Nig? Pls Africa isn't a country. Don't generalize.
DeleteAwwww! * teary*
ReplyDeleteNawao! I feel her pains
ReplyDeleteTruly inspirational
ReplyDeleteWaoooo. What an Amazing ending. Very inspirational. U wud definitely find true love pretty one. Mk una learn frm her oh,na altar boo break her heart, while some here bf break their heart go fall sick,nt bn able2eat or step out of d house. I really comend her courage.
ReplyDeleteSee them happy n making fun of d whole situation. If it's Nigeria, they will say they are cursed. Her happiness came 1st, nice one.
ReplyDeleteAww this brought tears to my eyes, #teamstrongwoman
ReplyDeletevisit my blog www.topgistng.com
Stellahipsy I just called u noww..am screaming here ooo,u sound so coooollll..
ReplyDeleteIFEOLUWA
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Gosh Stella u dissapoint with your English abeg....how is this same as leaving her at the alter?
ReplyDeleteMama ...Alter? Alert? Later? Altar????
Deletehehe Mama..POT POT POTTTTTTTT.
Nwanne Dino...
Strong woman
ReplyDeleteLove the spirit of dis lady not easy. She was able to see a reason to smile even in the distress
ReplyDeleteWoow I love her courage we never know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice we have...
ReplyDeleteCinderella & Teacher penned down my thought "when life give you lemon make lemonade out of it"
ReplyDelete"when life give you a thousand reasons to cry, give life a million and one reasons to smile"
"No one can make you happy except you".
I like the spirit! Go girl!
ReplyDeleteNitty.
www.thenitty-gritty.com
Truly a very strong woman.. She deserve an award for that.
ReplyDeleteThat's how life should be. No time.
ReplyDeleteANON 8:23PM.
ReplyDeleteYOU DISAPPOINT ME AND YOURSELF EVEN MORE.
PLEASE LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ''ALTAR'' AND ''ALTER'' THEN COME BACK AND CONTINUE WITH UR DISAPPOINTMENT IN ME.MSCHEEEEEW!
She has guts
ReplyDeleteLet's pray she ain't crying behind closed doors!
ReplyDeleteDon't I just love the supposed to be bride? What she did was really liberating for her. Has someone ever broken up with you and after the initial shock, you felt 'free!'? And felt like you were saved some future pain and shouldn't even have been in the relationship in the first place? To the point where you did not even have the strength to be bitter but grateful? (from experience) I bet this is how she felt, she had one week to come to terms with the pain. The guy didn't just wake up to realize he dint love her, his lack of love must have shown in the course of the relationship. I may be wrong sha
ReplyDelete@Anon 5:16--- how can you wish someone that kind of evil in the New Year???? That's not nice. May God make your(JayEm) day a huge success filled with joy, love and merriment.
ReplyDeleteI admire the jilted bride's courage.....I have learned something from her.
Wow! thats inspiring.
ReplyDeleteWay to go girl! I love the spirit. The fool isn't worth your tears
ReplyDeleteStella of life, you even have time to reply the ANON 8:23PM? Let her be there opening her mouth for all to see.
ReplyDeleteIn other news, what the lady did is brave. Of course she will hurt for a long time to come. She decided not to wallow in depression but to do something fun with her family and friends.
talk about making the best of a bad situation...Tears can come later, for now I choose to be crazy happy...
ReplyDeleteShe is indeed a strong woman,I love that.
ReplyDeleteShe is indeed a strong woman,I love that.
ReplyDeleteStanding ovation mehnn...
ReplyDeleteWhat a healing action!
Rather than crying her eyes out with head buried in embarrassment, she turned the situation around.
Bravo!
Visit www.rityonyi.blogspot.com
for hottest Naija Gist, Romance, Sports, Politics,Fashion, Events, Job/Vacancies, Entertainment and much more!
Best medicine after heart break is to be happy...wish her well...
ReplyDeleteI love every bit of this.That's a great comeback.Goodluck girl!!!
ReplyDelete