Here goes...something to inspire you .......hope never dies!
HOPE 1
LOVE IS NOT A FIGHT, BUT IT'S WORTH FIGHTING FOR
Stella,
It's really sad reading a lot of the issues happening in marriages, and I just want to send a message of hope to everyone out there.
Am I married? Yes. Is it always rosy? I wish! lol...
I'm a born talker, and most times in my marriage, I haven't talked well.. despite this, I'm thankful to God for the man he gave to me.
Is hubby perfect? I wish again...
Will I marry him again if there was another life? MOST DEF!
Our marriage will be 2 years in March (WOW! 2 years already!)
Met hubby in August of 2012, about two weeks to my 30th birthday; we were married in March 2013- from first meeting to agreeing to TILL DEATH DO US APART was 7months. He had proposed in November, I accepted. We would have been married in December if our families had agreed, but they needed time, and thank God it was agreed for March.
Courting was tough, as we were not in the same city- from first time we met to wedding day, we saw each other, let me put it roughly at 10 times.
Our first year of being married is nothing short of HORRENDOUS! We just couldn't hear each other out most times. A lot happened around the time we were getting married- I got a new job; in a new city (not same city as hubby, but closer)... through all these, I felt like I was not getting all the support I should--- on the other hand, he was feeling, I was trying to be a superwoman and not involving him.
We are not 2 years yet, and I can say we are getting better with our communication.
I believe the coming of our baby has truly helped us bond more.
The maternity leave was a huge blessing for us; for the first time we lived as a family for months in the same house!
It was as if the wall defeaning us was broken down with the screams in the labour ward (I kept screaming ''I'm not a Hebrew woman ooohhhh, I be omo Naija oooohhh... daddy doctooooorrrrrrr hellllppppp, mummy matron bikoooo'').
One thing hubby never failed at, was praying without ceasing. I will be vexing like this, hubby will still ask me to pray, I will do like ayamantaga... now we laugh at me, cause I honestly can say, I don show myself as a woman.
Like it's always counselled before marriage- keep the communication going. Talk, but talk well. Be a builder. Be a friend.
Marriage is interesting- can be hot and cold in a single minute!
Some things I had thought were hard with hubby, I've come to realise were simply assumptions.
The devil like we know is out to destroy marriages (homes), but we need to stand as a unit against it.
Remember, LOVE IS NOT A FIGHT, BUT IT'S WORTH FIGHTING FOR.
Thank you for this beautiful piece.The first year i married i broke everything broke-able in the house every time the storm came,i didn't understand a lot but the first baby made it easy.
I was so angry with myself for marrying someone so young when i wanted an older man because i thought that would make marriage easy because being older meant he understood better..how wrong i was.My hubby and i grew together and i wouldnt exchange him for anyone else.
............................................................................................................
HOPE 2
GOD RESTORES 8 YEARS OF DAMAGED MARRIAGE
Stella my heart aches! I have been meaning to write to you about this for long, but I don't know where to begin, I messed up big time. My story is EXACTLY the same as Olamide's story, the only difference is that my marriage is 8years old, unlike olamide, no one was there to open my eyes to let me see how I was destroying my marriage with my own hands, until recently... after 8 years of damage.
I married at age 17, clueless Stella, I knew NOTHING on how to take care of a man, I was stubborn to the core, to the extent my siblings dreamt about it one after the other and advised me to turn down the stubbornness that they saw it was going to destroy a lot of things for me. I disrespected him everywhere we went, I would refuse to clean the house since he wouldn't get me a maid, mind you, all these while I thought the reverse was the case, I thought I was the one that was being maltreated, so I would cry for sometime and then get up and react to the ill treatment. But which ill treatment now?
This man paid for my diploma and degree at a very reputable school abroad, he cared for my family even though I treated him badly, I don't lack anything, from Brazilian hair to designers bag to trips o, God gave me A GOOD MAN, with a home filled with GOOD kids. he kept on making excuses for me that I might be too young to know what I was doing is wrong, he would send me to Naija on several occasions for deliverance (We are very spiritual) because he wants the marriage to work, still no way. If not that this man has vowed to God not to cheat, he would have long cheated, so instead he got fed up and kept saying he didnt want to marry again, so that he could find someone who would make him happy.
January 2014, at 25, i noticed some of my wrongs as i began to soak my self in prayers, little did I know that it was a little bit too late, but trust God there is NOTHING he can not do.
Dear hubby started talking about taking a second wife o, at first I started getting the messages in my dreams more than 4 times where he got married and I had a mate whom he loved so dearly, i would tell him about the dream and he would casually say "but it's true now, I will marry a second wife".
After i prayed and fasted back to back , I woke him up one night to talk (last week), I told him how we were not happy together, how he treats me like I don't exist, how he doesn't love me, yadi yadi ya!. This was when my hubby told me EVERYTHING I had done wrong and how it affected him, how he would go sleep in another room when he come back late because he couldn't stand the sight of me, due to what what I had put him through, that he saw an angel in me when he married me so my attitude took him by surprise, therefore causing him more ache.
Stella my heart was so sore and is still sore, I have lost 2kgs within this week, he said he doesn't love me, that even when he realised I changed last year, he still just can't love me cos I shattered his heart, and he felt I changed because of the many threat to send me back home, or to take another wife, that I wasn't genuinely a changed person.
How did I get here? I am naturally a good person, i do things for others before they even ask, so what went wrong? Why did I treat my man so badly, even at a point ignored my kids in the name of being a "schooling mother".
I have really changed and now I am doing everything right , I cried, I begged for his forgiveness and I asked him to please tell me what to do to make him love me again, he told me everything and said he doesn't have a problem that he is ready for love again if I am ready to love him too (cos I behaved as though I didn't love him). I was happy a solution came out, I went to my alter and cried but this time tears of joy, that God had restored my marriage, he had given me HOPE again.
God gave me the perfect home (husband and kids), even without asking but because I didn't sweat it, I didn't value it. But everything has changed now.
Hubby says he would spoil me silly that those things he does for me even in pain, would be doubled now that God had restored peace and happiness in our home. Although he travelled and will be back tomorrow. I want to bless God and thank sis. stella for this platform, Olamide's story prompted me to say my own story, because trust me there many of us out there making this same mistakes we made. Sis Stella God bless you again.
So I have been doing all what he asked me to do, wakeup early take care of my home, let my maid be my helper and not the who runs my home, respect him and drop my phone sometimes and give him attention instead etc.
Ps. The only reason why my heart still aches is how and why I did all this to someone who would take a bullet for me. I'm still praying to God to help me forgive myself, heal my heart and hubby's too, so we forget the past totally.
I TOTALLY LOVE THIS BLOG!! shout out fellow bvs.
Sweety,your story made me love you...Thank God for restoration oh.
God bless ur marriages amen,,vivienne pls how do I download sdk blog App on my phone pls??
ReplyDeleteChronicles of Hope - My fav segment on this blog.
DeleteI was just saying this to someone yesterday that a baby changes a woman.
When u have a child in ur arms fro the first time, n look down into his/her lil eyes, that's true love. N this true love changes a lot in a woman. (can't wait to experience such love).
So I understand Poster 1's turn around.
Poster 2 - you have to forgive yourself. 8yrs of marriage at 25, when ladies that marry at 30 something still make grievous mistakes in their home.
God's healing in home will be perfected IJN.
Poster 2, are you Kanu Nwankwo's wife? LOL
Deletego to Google play store...type Stella's blog den..u will see d application there..
DeleteJust posh as a moment lemme disabuse you of that true love notion. It doesn't happen like that for every mother in some kind of atavistic gush. Just adding my two cents' worth as I can read that a lot of bvs are still doing theory...
DeletePoster two please take it easy on yourself. I mean what on earth did you know at 17. I would have been surprised if you didn't act up. 17 is darn too young. Now that you are a bit note mature make d most of it. Do your own best jare
DeletePoster 2
ReplyDeleteThank God for your life.
Omg thank God for restoration, may he perfect all that concerns you.
DeleteWow!
ReplyDeleteI thank God for both bv's. Singles hope you are inspired oh.
@poster1 : I wish you more happiness in ur marriage n may God continue 2 strengthen the 2 of u.
Delete@poster2 : am so so happy for you, may ur testimony be permanent. May God grant ur home d peace dat passeth all understanding.
Thank God for both of you(posters)
DeletePrayer is d key to all things.
DeleteWow
ReplyDeleteinspired
I am so inspired. God bless you both.
DeleteAt poster 2 I thank God for you and don't worry you are already healed cos the moment we realise our mistakes and we are ready to correct them that's when healing starts.
ReplyDeletewow! I love today's Chronicles of Hope. So real..so inspiring..
ReplyDeleteI also need the grace too, to overcome this stubbornness of a thing. It's a joy killer.
It is well Ladies. God bless your homes (and my future family too in Jesus Name)
Amen.
Wow the second story is truly inspiring. I pray to be a better wife nd mother to my hubby and children. I pray to have a happy and blessed home filled with Godly joy peace and love. Amen.
ReplyDeleteStellz,when was COH 3.I thought last week was part 2. Am I hallucinating.?
ReplyDeleteLemme start compiling my own too
Does chronicle of hope always have to be about marriage???? Just asking
ReplyDeleteNO in Stella's voice
DeleteVery emotional stories, thank God for you both
ReplyDeleteWow!
ReplyDeleteI'm speechless poster 2.
Thank God for his timely intervention.
Poster 2, I love your story too.
Thanks to you both for sharing.
May God continue to bless and strengthen your families.
Wow!
ReplyDeletePoster 2,i am soo happy for u
just wanna hug u in happiness....
buh Sweerie,forgive urself...
hubby has forgiven u and So has God...
Kai...i am Soooo happy for u.
May God bless ur hubby for me ooo.
Kiss him for me wen he gets back....
AND Kisses to u too....
Thanks for sharing ur story Boo.
PosteR 1,thanks for sharing...
May God bless u more and more.amen.
Wow.... Poster 2, may the restoration and happiness be permanent my dear..... I pray for more love in both marriages....
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteLol@daddy doctor ooh! I am not a Hebrew woman oooh!!
I am so happy for you dear..God will keep watch over your home sweets. Joy and Peace has come to stay...
Remember to always communicate with hubby when you go back to your station okay.
Skype,send love messages and do video calls..Get your baby to coo coo for daddy on the phone when he calls... Always pray together over the phone even with the distance,don't let "our blog" keep you too busy from your man! Hugs dear.
Poster 2
I love reading success stories...Some ladies that got married at your age had issues like that too,i guess you refused to grow up 8years later..lol
I am elated that you have realised where you missed your step and is willing to find peace!
We are not perfect,i am not either..infact I have learnt one or two things from your story....
Your hubby is a great man,if there is any eye already on him outside..i pray they look somewhere else! This lady right here has come to reclaim that which is hers!!
If processes has already been put in place for a second wife,as long as God has revealed it to you,all plans are scattered.
My dear,just like you promised him,always take good care of your home and kids..
Do their assignments for them,supervise and make sure their lunch packs are in order..
Bring his meals for him..Cook sometimes(that is if you already have cooks) Breakfast in bed!
A trip somewhere cosy without the kids will seal it off..Re-dedicate your life to him....
I know he will be watching to know how genuine you are..please be yourself,don't try too hard..it will all flow naturally...
We look forward to reading the Part 2 of your testimony!
*whispers,what is your sexy plan for Val*
Wish ther's a like button for your comment @ Iphie
DeleteDon't I just love Iphie dearie?...nice one!
DeleteIphie,gbam. When my bae travels,i send him selfies. Mine alone,kids,with kids,at work,anywhere.
DeleteI send him voice notes,songs.
He said he read one st a meeting n lol n everybody turned to look at him
Hmmm..i enjoy reading these chronicles of Hope because towards the end i will be able to learn where the turning point began,lessons learnt and secrets to a happy home.still looking up to God for his designed partner for me and i am firmly resolving to make the best out of my home,marriage when it comes.God bless our homes..
ReplyDeleteI thank GOD 4 d posters I learnt a lot frm d narratives. Marriage is for both young n old and it gets beta wit experience. So patience, endurance and perseverance is d watch words.
ReplyDeletePoster2,only you wan take your razor blade mouth scatter ur marriage.thank God you come back to ur sence!!!may God bless ur home.if ur hubby is a soccer fan sit wit him n watch his favorite team play n always cheer him up if they loose at anytime lol.... Poster1 nice write up...May God keep ur home safe!!i pray God give me a peaceful and quiet woman as wife n not the naggin type
ReplyDeleteBt how will someone marry at 17...even if her parents were poor and needed a saviour..17!!!!
DeleteYou don't encourage marriage at 17...but you think it's okay to start sexin' at 15 abi? Issokk o. I wish I had even married much earlier sef. If a girl wants to get married and it's not like she's being forced to do so and it's of her own volition...I think its absolutely ok. I've seen some 16 year old more mature than women of 30 sef....
DeleteThe 17 is ur problem @anon15:03 right. 17 or 35, the koko is she is enjoying her marriage now and she is comfortable. Mind yr business okwaya
DeleteOhhh I love these stories. e-hugs to both posters. May God bless my marriage too, amen.
ReplyDeletewow
ReplyDelete@poster 1, sorry to say but ur marriage still sounds like a joke. A very big joke. Lol see all the distance between u guys, u still dont know eachother o. Get a job in d same town n live together pls. And start to build ur home. It is well.
ReplyDelete@poster 2. Interesting narative, kind of reminds me of Ezenwayi on this blog, this ur narative should be more of a chronicle of naratives rather than a chronicle of hope even cos i think u still need help. But thank God u have learned ur lesson hope it gets rosey thus forth. It is well.
narrator 2,u just described myself and my hub. hub is jst an angel but i keep disrespecting him and shutting him down even in d presence of pple. If ds man wasnt trained well and also his level of d fear of God he has,he wld v beaten d daylight out of me. imagine me ranting and cursing ,calling him fool,idiot and all degrading names yet he wldnt say a word. i mean he wldnt UTTER A WORD. i am d man in d hoise and he s a typical example of a Virtuous man. last xmas, i insultd him in d villa,ds man jst cldny take it anymore and tearfully reported him to his parents. laet 3days,i told him to get me a breast pump in tosumu lagos island. the one he bought was ok and i gv him d insult of his life. i havent been taking to him since then. hum,to crown it all,i had a dream last night. in d dream, i eas crying and asking him so its true he had gotten a sec wife. in his usual way,he didnt utter a word.i woke up wt fear. i sense mine is spiritual,someone somewere is pressing my marriage botton cos i come to my senses sometime and promise neva to do those things again. but i see my selr doing them. God help me
ReplyDeleteWhat's spiritual ?
DeleteDegrading your husband in public ?
You just lack manners.
But, continue.
Eyaaa....
DeleteYou better change ohh...good men are hard to find...
Hmm
DeleteMadam
After ranting here, go to God in prayers.
He alone cam help you.
No devil is greater than God.
Stop magnifying the devil
I wish you d best
Madam abeg change ooh.
DeleteYou will turn that man into a monster without knowing it..
You are the only one that can liberate yourself!! Haba!
Jesus Christ!!!!you lack manners,good hubby is not easy to fine.your eye will open when he leaves you for another woman
DeleteWow inspiring...
ReplyDeletePoster 2 your man is a good man oo hmm. You messed up for 7 ys nd he didn't cheat?? Thank God for you oo
@ poster2, you married as a teenager so he shouldn't expect less , ur hubby is wicked oh, how can u marry a teenager nd yet u insult d likes of YERIMA? Na wa! It's was normal for u to misbehave now is d right age to do things right....I'm out
ReplyDeleteTruly inspiring!
ReplyDeleteThis is d real chronicle of hope.
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Making sense post....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Succes story..
ReplyDeleteMeans every one of us MUST face one challenge or the other in the course of our different marriages.
Thank God for you both
Poster 2 ur story made me teary.
#Allergic to chronicle of narrative
i wish my wife wil com 2 ha senses lyk posta 2. I dont knw she learnt al des stubborn frm. @ 41 am already treatin h.b.p. By june dis yea am leavin d hux wit my our 1st son he wil b 10 by den, am 2 young 2 die
ReplyDeleteHave you prayed for her??...
DeleteOr is it only women that prays for their husbands...
Mtcheeeeeewwwwww....
Don't leave.
DeleteSend her this post.
God can still heal your marriage sir
It might take both spouses to break a marriage but it only needs at least one willing person to make it work. Your marriage is worth fighting for Mr Man.
DeletePlease send her the link of this story...God will heal your marriage...I pray for grace for myself, it isn't easy sometimes but!Hmmmm
DeleteGod bless you both for sharing.The way I get angry for nothing these days is surprising,lemme go and make my dh happy o..brb
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteEdo finest
We all learn everyday.
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you.
And always confess you have the Spirt of self control.
Enjoy!!!
Tnx mma cee,will always do that..e-hugs
Delete@Edo finest Hilda made u up! Wow and i always see been ur pics on her dp, u are beautiful
DeleteYea,she did..tnx dear
DeleteI love both stories...1st poster, I learnt so much from ur story...I pray God helps me ooo
ReplyDelete2nd poster:
Hmmmmm,seems ur hubby is jes like mine..he loves attention...I giggled wen I read dt part abt ur fone...Mine practically loves so much attention dt sometimes I wonda if he's d wife and am d hubby.
My only fear is dt am stubborn and highly temperamental...My mouth is like acid...I really wnt to have a very successful marriage,I want to have a happy home.
God pls am begging u,Take away dis stubborness from me,help me to be submissive and realise that this man is the head of the home..
Lord,help my mouth that runs like tap water to shut down @least wen eva he is talking...Help me Lord to control my temper...wen am angry I can pull down the roof and even make some dangerous threats....I kn marriage can be so rosy and tough at d same time..
But I want a happy home...pls BV's pray for me...
*sad much*
Pls no one shld use dis info against me....am jes being honest with myself...
Am I perfect,? Hell NO!!!
Yes baby
DeleteI won't judge you joor
We all have our weakness
Advice :
Read and confess 1cor13:4-8 everyday and every night.
You both can even read it together.
Make sure you meditate and read it aloud.
Then wherever you see 'charity' put 'chy sugar' or 'your real name '.
You deserve a happy home, so does your hubby.
Make sure you come back and testify
Mmuah!!!
Yes baby
DeleteI won't judge you joor
We all have our weakness
Advice :
Read and confess 1cor13:4-8 everyday and every night.
You both can even read it together.
Make sure you meditate and read it aloud.
Then wherever you see 'charity' put 'chy sugar' or 'your real name '.
You deserve a happy home, so does your hubby.
Make sure you come back and testify
Mmuah!!!
@ Mma Cee, Thanks dear..i'll do exactly wat u said and I will surely testify
Delete@Oliviasilk...Amen
Aawww Chysugar.. So shall it be!
DeleteWe all have our faults dear,admitting it is actually a step in the right direction.
God will fulfil all our heart's desire!
Anyone that tries to attack you with this info will have me to contend with.lol
Mma Cee, thanks for d bible quotation, I just read it and something in me just changed. And yes, we keep blaming DH for not being loving enough forgetting what the word of God says concerning love. Thanks a bunch dear. @ Chysugar, God is doing a new thing in your life dear, your testimony is sure
Delete@Iphie Dearie...awwww..God bless u sis.
Delete@Chinyere...Amen n amen
May God perfect our marriages...we shall all testify.
Poster2, ur story is touching, may almighty God bless ur marriage, pls take care of ur family and learn to forgive urself ok. Poster1, ur chronicle cracked me up a little, but I thank God for ur marriage also. God bless.
ReplyDeleteam relieved!
ReplyDeleteLol @ "Doctor ooo I'm not an hebrew woman, I'm a naija woman". God bless your homes and give me a happy one too
ReplyDeleteHaaahaaaahaaa!! Honestly I had a good laugh @ that part of the narration, well that's wetin labour pains can make one do! I pray for more grace, more joy and more understanding in our various homes Amen. Thank God for these two narrations, lots of learning for me.
DeleteThere is hope,may God continue to bless ur homes.
ReplyDeleteInspiring narratives.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you both for sharing.
May peace and love be restored permanently in your homes. Amen.
Ma heart feels so heavy...so many things I can't change from the past but it keeps hurting me...what I need now is God's peace nd mercy to carry on nd just stay focus!! Bvs pls pray for me cos that's all I belive in
ReplyDeleteIf you have asked God for forgiveness, He has forgiven you.
DeleteLet go dear, let go.
Dear, it's well in Jesus name, Amen.
DeleteWow! Wow! Wow! I love this stories. @poster1 lol @daddy doctor and mummy matron. I love your story. It gives me hope indeed.
ReplyDeleteGbam! Gbam! Gbam! Poster2 this story just got me remembering my dream of getting married really early. I always wanted to get a husband by latest 19 years of age. Now God's plan for my life is taking me to another direction. Your story made me realise that sometimes we could throw things of value away simply because we got it easily. Just like i take God's love for granted each day. I drifted away from him but now i'm ready to love him even more than i claimed. God bless your home. I just want an older man who'll understand me and will swallow my bs like your husband did. You story is just a breath of soothing air.
Miss Somerhalder.
Instead of praying for a man who will swallow your bs while not pray for strength to do away with your bs. Cos I trust you won't wanna be swallowing any man's "bs", would you?
DeleteWow! Wow! Wow! I love this stories. @poster1 lol @daddy doctor and mummy matron. I love your story. It gives me hope indeed.
ReplyDeleteGbam! Gbam! Gbam! Poster2 this story just got me remembering my dream of getting married really early. I always wanted to get a husband by latest 19 years of age. Now God's plan for my life is taking me to another direction. Your story made me realise that sometimes we could throw things of value away simply because we got it easily. Just like i take God's love for granted each day. I drifted away from him but now i'm ready to love him even more than i claimed. God bless your home. I just want an older man who'll understand me and will swallow my bs like your husband did. You story is just a breath of soothing air.
Miss Somerhalder.
God bless your homes. The devil has failed and we will celebrate a lot of happy home and beautiful marriages.
ReplyDeletePoster 2..... You married at 17!!!!!! Wow!!!! Your behavior wasn't out of place then.....he should suffer it after all na I'm marry pikin....
ReplyDeleteNow that you are 25, I thank God that you are beginning to enjoy your home... E don do to chill Biko
May God perfect what he has started and bless and keep my own home too. And help me with my tongue cos when am vexing ehnnnn aaarrrrggghhhh!
ReplyDeleteDear posters, your joy shall be permanent. To ladies who have issues with their tongue, please read Psalm 141:3=Take control of what I say, O LORD, and guard my lips.
ReplyDelete(New Living Translation) and turn it to prayer.
@poster2 u really married a good man, pls dnt take him 4 granted. Thank God 4 ur resolution, pls continue being a good wife. God bless your homes
ReplyDeleteSdk thank you for this COH. I look forward to it. And for the contributors thank God for your lives and for sharing your life xperiences with us. It goes to show there is always light at the end of the tunnel. You all deserve good hugs.
ReplyDeleteI've picked lessons from the narratives. May God continue to bless you.
Pls are there women who married widowers. Pls share your experience with us. Thank you.
Dear posters you have blessed us with your experiences. I've learnt that God can be trusted and it's never too late. I've learnt from the first poster, my marriage is still young and waxing strong. I am struggling with how to please my DH, it's like the standard is way out for me. I will keep trying though.
ReplyDeleteSDK God bless you for posting these narratives.
Mma cee -spiritual mentor
ReplyDeleteMarriage mentor - Tgw, iphie dear
Na wa mentor - Olivia silk, gold scent, kween and madam of this .......
XEs mentor - one and only ake every other na counterfeit!
Kolo mental (sorry mentor)-Eze. ....... (The great
Married at 17 - you be Northerner?
ReplyDeleteChronicles of hope d best ever
ReplyDeleteThank you bvs. Iphee dearie,you rock
ReplyDeleteNot trying to burst any bubble here BUT I can 90% guarantee you that for a man to be patient for that long -8yrs, he is getting his peace of mind "elsewhere". NOTE to other females, If you have a husband that puts up with your continual disrespect,mood switch and always tries to avoid clashing with you. Be very afraid and quit your delusion of "my hubby understands me". Love fades and men don't nag.
ReplyDeleteAm a Man here. Thumbs up!!! U are on POINT.
ReplyDeletePoster2 dont be surprised ur DH will still get a second wife, coz in all d 8yrs u spent destroying ur marriage, he was growing love somewhere else and a love like that doesnt fade in one day of ur repentance...
ReplyDeleteIspiring though not izy all d way.Pls I want to advice dat marriage is not for boys and girls but for men and women at heart.Its for those ready to work at it to make it work not those ready to recieve d good it gives and not give it back.
ReplyDelete