The narratives is an equivalent of a reality show,where you walk in and get some sense whooped into your....
This is the best place to come to if you need to hear it real......
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE.
CROSSING THE LINE AND LETTING THE CAT OUTTA THE BAG
I met a guy on Instagram November last year, we chatted for a while and then I gave him my mobile number. That was the genesis of the whole story, we chat everyday on WhatsApp and talk regularly on face time, he is not in the country so we never met. I started liking him not to long afterwards but wanted to keep it just as friends. I told him from the onset that I had a boyfriend which was a lie then but I started dating a guy that has been on my case for a while in January.
By March the relationship started to crumble coz the guy wasnt truthful about anything, lied about what he does, where he stays and the amount of girls he has. By April which was his birthday I found out about 4 other girls he was dating and that was the end of it.
I told my friend abroad all about it, he scolded me for not leaving as soon as I knew he wasn't the kind of person I thought he was but still gave me a shoulder to cry on, always checking up on me to make me smile till I was able to get my mind off the unfavorable situation.
The thing now is that am totally in love with this guy, he is a definition of the kind of guy that i want. He is serious minded and very hardworking, I know he likes me but I don't know if he wants me as his girlfriend, at times he is just so romantic and other times he sounds like girls aren't worth the stress.
I have never been a fan of distance relationship especially with all these guys abroad but I just can't help how I feel at the moment.
My birthday is coming up next month and I plan telling him exactly how i feel about him even if I would walk away afterwards.
Do you think what am about to do is right or what do you advise I do.
Please I would appreciate meaningful and matured advices.
Thank you very much Stella.
HEY HEY HEY!!!....Easy before you let him take advantage of you,you sound like you are emotional wreck and latching unto guys makes you feel loved.
Its okay when a woman is bold enough to talk the bull by the horn but its worrisome when one is foolishly bold.
Sweety work on yourself and let things work out natural.
...........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
TORN BETWEEN EX AND BFF
My issue is confusion. I'm currently in a long distance relationship with a man I love a lot and he loves me more. He's very serious and talks about marriage and starting a family, and involves me in his decisions, And the truth is I see a future with him too. We have been together for over a year although I live in the UK and he lives in Abuja. He works as a surgeon so his job is demanding.
The issue is my ex has come back to beg and ask for us to get back together and I don't know what to do because we were together a long time but we broke up because his family had issues with him being with me for tribal reasons so he could not stick up for me so we ended up breaking up. Now everyday he calls me and emails me to tell me how much he loves and misses me that he hasn't moved on since our break up. He sends me gifts and presents and check on me almost every few hours, his job is equally demanding as he works offshore
I'm 26 and they are both 33, the problem is I'm not sure my ex will want to talk marriage because it seems it's only sex that's on his mind but it's as if he had some sort of epiphany and has now realised that he doesn't want anyone else but me because he's always on my case and taking about settling down. My ex understands me and we have the same sort of humour and we have fun together but my BF is so so sweet and considerate and I can see myself being his wife and I don't want to hurt him plus he's very fine and has a relationship with God but my ex doesn't even like going to church.
Please, what do I do?
Thank you.
So why are you confused and torn between them?...Stay away from your ex abeg,he sounds like a sack of rotten potatoes waiting to be opened.
...........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER THREE
WHEN PARENTS REFUSE TO LET YOU GROW UP AND GO
Hi Stella,
i'll like to thank you for your chronicles cos i learn a lot from it..
My life is so complicated that it makes me cry sometimes.I Am a Graduate,still serving, 26, single, never being in a relationship, virgin of course,smart,beautiful, intelligent, not tall..I would pass for an eighteen year old cos i have a good physique and a fine baby face#tongueout.
I have been living with my controlling parents,born and raised in Lagos. They never let me have friends nor allow me visit ppl, serving in Lagos is hell for me cos they won't let me go out. They are so protective cos am d only daughter and they don't want me to mess around(that i understand). My elder brothers have been talking to my dad about it but he insists he doesn't want me to b corrupt like other girls.
Even if they threaten him with marriage, he will always say ‘she will get married like her mother, a man is supposed to come to the house and marry you and not you going around looking for a man'. My mum is not saying anything about it.
How will the man see me if you don't let me go out?The only time i see guys is whenever i am in church or my cds group. Its just sad for me cos my mates are getting married and i am just there.
Please i need advice on what to do.
#hugs#
I guess your parents are scared of the unknown...Maybe you should try to re-assure them that you wont walk in pregnant or do the things they are scared of but havent told you.....They love you and are being protective.you need to have a heart to heart talk with them and please do not disrespect or insult them....I think they are scared.
Cnt remember all I read so no comment.
ReplyDelete@Poster 1, let the guy know how you feel afterall he's not here in Naija with you. But how did you think the relationship will work? Are you the one visiting him or he will come here? Moreover, someone you've not see or know his physical characters, how are you sure you're both compatible?
Delete@Poster 2, I'm more than been confused than you, I guess your ex is there with you which will make your physical contact work out than the guy in Nigeria. Sit down and chose the one you love most between them.
@Poster 3, ask your parents that where did they want you to meet your hubby? Girls who are out going haven't even see a man to marry. Talk things out with them and get your freedom.
*Larry was here*
Narrative 1.. Some guys don't know how to handle it when girls tell them how they feel, I think you should try say it bits and pieces don't drop down bomb all at once.
DeleteNarrative 2... Please stay with your boyfriend. The family issues will still come up again. Please don't waste your time.
Narrative 3... Most times our parents are always right. Try talking to your mum and try to give her examples. So all tru university with your description u didn't fund anyone interested in you for you not to have been in a relationship tru out university, not even 1.. chai. You have a lot of work to do. I wish u all the best and I hope you stumble upon your future at church or on your way to cds. Lol. Cos if not he go find u tire ooh.
Future Boo*
DeletePoster 2: we can all give you advise on who to choose, but the only thing I want from you is to picture who u can be with in the 2 guys?? We are not in ur shoes, we only understand everything from the write up!! Look beyond the present and see you u can be with on a long run.
DeletePoster 3: I think all you have to do is reassure your parent that u won't be wayward and loose ur virginity, yes your parents are protective, and maybe they have see a side of you that you think they don't know of....
@poster1 : No don't tell him, he should be the one 2 tell you how he feels about you.
Delete#don'ttellmeaboutbeingin21century.
@poster2 : I don't see why your chronicle should be here.
Everything is crystal clear and you are still asking questions.
@poster3 : I understand how you feel, and I don't think there is anything you can do about it.
Please try and make excuses n leave the house.
You really need to mingle.
Husband won't come n knock on your door ooh.Good luck !
All I can see is poster 3.Stella I wish I can send you my story but I just can't. I am 31 and if my first relationship wasn't a secret I wouldn't have ever loved or being loved and to tell you, i dated my first boyfriend under my parents for 8 years when I finally told them...you don't want to know their response. That was when I was 25 o...Stella I beg leave matter, some parents are selfish like that.
DeleteReal people real stories.. Thanks y'all for sharing your stories, we're learning! @S*.H*.B
ReplyDeleteYou all have no problem just give yourself brain!
DeletePoster1: You are emotionally malnourished infact idi emotionally sick. Get well before you start looking for a new relationship.
DeletePoster2: Face your bf and delete that ex sharpaly, if he couldn't speak up for you when your tribal difference became a prob, why is he back? If you think he's back cos he can't do without you, nne receive better sense IJN.
Poster3: You have to be seen before you can be shown favour using biblical Esther as a case study but then your social networks could help out here jare. If they allow you move around as you want, e get place where dem dey sell husband? Nne biko join the ushering dept in your church
Pls visit my blog: nmaojike.com. Thanks
Poster3,u can get to meet a man thru Stella's SandM na#sideeyes #but criously..try it while u work on ur parents,.
DeletePoster2,ur ex is a time waster,he will date u forever without marriage,and he will never give u space to date others,what do u still want from someone that could not defend u before his family? He's such an unserious kid'.
Poster1,d guy got u where he wanted,:'to fall in love with him,then u will be falling over urself to make him happy.beware he's an emotional manipulator,dont let him know how u feel,but work on outgrowing' d feelings.
Hian!!!!!
ReplyDeletePoster 3....my comment today here is for you...
DeleteYou have not given your parent the confirmation they want....
Sister your dad and talk to him.do they follow tou for cds,do the look you in the house,does your dad beat u when u go out??what about the place you are serving....you are the one letting them have control over u..
Truly you have no problem.
#please how is the plans for abuja sdk party,,,boredom is killing me and i never reach age for s&m today..
#going to shop for shoes.byeeee
I mite be wrong but i think wat poster 3 means by bin strict is not letting her sleep out of the house. I feel her pains.
DeleteI am 32 but dem no born me well to say am sleeping over in a boyfriends place!!! If i v to i would so construct the lie.. my mumc wld call me tire.. d only time am free is when am out of the country or out of town.. my mum blivs am still a virgin
Stella,look @anon.23:45's case.The situation might looks somewhat crazy and questionable but things are happening o, we we dey wear the shoes na we know how much he dey pain for bodii.If my then boyfriend ask me how far...na to answer, I don't know,hmmm but I know one day na one day.it won't be like that forever.
DeletePoster 1 u r not in love. Go and use soda water mixed with coconut water wey no reach ground, use am wash ur head and face. U think he is in love cos he keeps a tab on u? U never know dudes sha. And me I am team no long distance relationship. Better give urself prestige and leave him alone. U don't love him o! U r just vulnerable.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, Yeah, I agree with Olori.....He isnt in love with you and truth is, you described him as a definition of the man you want; well, thats psychological and is occurring just bcos you are in constant communication with him, almost evry girl says/feels ds same way before goin into a rshp and yet we have diff chronicles bout failed rshps evryday.
DeleteHe is playing it neutral, acting cool and eating deep into you knowing dt you are vulnerable, based on the impression and stories of wht u went thru wiv d oda guy and at d same time keeping himself away from any commitment with you. Girl, he is saving you for his next visit to Nigeria, so he wld have u warm his sheets and eeeff u crazy. Pls dnt tell him no shiir....celebrate yout bitthday n be happy, pick ur pieces n build urself outside ds guy.....d most u can get from dis is jst some sex weneva he is around and a potential heartbreak.
Poster 2...From wht u narrated, the causal factor for d break up wit ur ex revolved around tribal issues and hs family's opinion..well, guess what swthrt....u knw he can't stroll to a diff family and tell dem to adopt him... we cnt change or select our family. He is still a member of dt same family n obviously, dere views are still same, he jst wnts to have sex with you and move on....yu guys wld simply hv sex n dt flare dts meant to burn n sustain a rshp wld die off afterwards. You have a better chance with d new dude dan your ex, so simply pray to God for guidance n d spirit of discernment so u can drcipher if dis dude is sincere and willing to stay with you thru d challenges of life.
Poster 3, I dnt wnt to sound judgemental, but i feel if u can win your parent's trust n assurance dat you can handle ur business d ryt way, dey'll obviously let you live your life....maybe dey just ain't sure hw u wld fare if left on yur own. Be happy n dnt let dis bug u.
Li-yon Vls
All ur advises are on point Li-on. Also Stella D'Kork is right too.
DeletePoster 2 are you a blonde or just naturally dumb? So you want to leave a good thing for uncertainty. Your exes family who didn't want your relationship cos of tribal differences are they all dead?please stop digging for lobsters. If you truly love your current bf you won't be having second thoughts. Stop taking gifts from your ex. What does a man who doesn't fear God have to offer,tomorrow you'd write another chroniclesabout how he beats you yet you chose to ignore the warning signs. Let him go,stop accepting his gifts and block him on social media. Do not loose a good thing for rubbish you will live to regret it.
ReplyDeleteShe's confused cos she don taste d ex n she hasn't slept with d new guy cos they r living far apart.....her confusion is based on sex.#2 abi I lie?
DeleteReceive wisdom all d posters
ReplyDelete26
ReplyDeleteA virgin
Not tall
Looks 18.
Only you?.
Na wa oooo.
Surgeon n ex bf girl
Pls stick with the surgeon
I hate exes that want to truncate a flourishing relationship.
Pls don't tell him you love him
Chill
Make I latch here.
DeleteSo Poster 2, You want to be allowed to go out and find the husband yourself?
What are you saying? Mtchew. Biko Shurup.
Poster Surgeon, Why are you confused exactly? What are you not saying?
Poster 1.Jide Ike gi aka.
Don't tell him yet.
Passa ka Passat.
Lesson learnt from poster 1 not 2
DeletePoster 2, better respect urself. What r u doing with ur ex? U c solution staring at u and u are still asking what to do.......
ReplyDeletePoster 3, if ur papa like make he chain u, if u wan scatter u go scatter. Na u and him de follow go lecture? My dad was worst but na only him tire.... U r a good girl cos if no be so, u go show ur papa say if bird learn to fly without perching, Hunter sef go learn to shoot without missing.
Poster1: any smart guy can tell ure falling for him without u pouring out ur heart verbally, take thgs easy so u don't change the respectable way he sees u.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: the tribal issues his famiky had, has it all gone away? You might jst be the best sex he has ever had, and needs a reminder... Either way, time heals and reveals all, give them both time.
Poster 3: you're lettin ur small stature n babyface fool you, ure an adult, a full grown adult, start behaving like one for ur dad to see, so he treats u as such also... He still sees like a teenager.
Poster1.hurry up let him know how you feel,before another girl will take him from you. Poster2.if you can't marry your present bf and your ex is not good enough for marriage,I will advice you to let go of both of them. Poster3.daddy's girl....make friends in church,the type that will pay you a visit often at home.both male and female in church
ReplyDeleteWhy do I have a feeling that someone is writing abi na typing in Efe's behalf???
DeletePoster 2 so how do we help you?do you need help or just came to gloat? Wetin concern agbero with overload. You don't need help o better use your tongue to count your teeth or use mirror and give yourself brain. Okay since today is Sunday I still have small anointing,oya receive sense in Jesus name. You be dog why do you want to eat your vomit. Your ex has nothing to offer you, he wants to eat his cake and have it. What has light got to do with darkness. Do not think accepting him back would change anything. You have a good man now do not spoil it cos if ojukokoro and stop taking your exes gifts
ReplyDeleteI agree with stella on dem three
ReplyDeletePamscrib.blogspot.com
Lol same here.
DeleteThat's how I was chatting with one guy on Google chat
ReplyDeleteHe said he's in Houston n working with one oil company
D day he called me I saw through true caller dat he was calling from memphis
Then after a long chat the phone cut off
N when he tried to call back I saw he's calling from umuahia
Hahahahahahaha
May b his caller app malfunctioned n I caught him
All these abroad guys sha
Lmao at Umuahia...
DeleteBwahahahahaha....Memphis is same as umuahia abi you no dey see the spelling...but carry letter m and letter p.
DeleteLol
Lwkmd... U no well
DeleteGuys these days are something else
DeleteEveryone seems to be beautiful and well behaved when sendin chronicles, issokay, you can meet men anywhr, on the street, online, Aboki shop.... Whr u wan go b4?? The problem is you, not ur dad. He's just being a dad...
ReplyDeleteI only want water.....
ReplyDeleteBack to read....
Narrative 2: do not, I repeat, do not go back to your ex. You/he left for a reason. He will take you back and he will dump you for a flimsy reason in a cruel way. I've been there done that. I bitterly regret going back!
ReplyDeleteI have a headache so let me come back to comment later. Stories that touch.....
ReplyDeleteMy head hurts more than yours..ill stick with u I'll come and comment..
DeleteDont even know what too advice. All d best t una, still enjoying dis delicious stew and rice hubby prepared with chilled coke.
ReplyDelete@Poster one guys abroad as sweet as they can be are usually one chance men....unless this is am exception to the rule!
ReplyDelete@Poster2: A family that had issues with you based on tribal difference will still not accept you except your tribe has changed,plus a man who didn't stand up for you at that time may not stand up for you at other critical times and unfortunately here in Africa family counts a great deal
@Poster 3: Talk to them ,explain to them that those days aren't like these days.....plus didn't you have any guy who showed interest in you in the university ? Its a good thing you are still a V....but those guys who showed interest then should come meet Papa or did you drive them all away?
Narrative 3: i was in your shoes, i'm the same age, single, older brothers had moved out, and worse still my parents are staunch catholic knights. My curfew was ridiculous, if i want to go out the kind of interrogation i will get ehn, but at the end of the day, the ball is in your court. Your parents cannot live life for you. Start going out and coming back later than you usually do. Get up get dressed go out and have fun. They will only talk for so long. After a while they will rest.
ReplyDeleteExactly!!! Poster do. As she says. U are a grown up. Sometimes u gotta take the bull by the horns
DeleteNwanne Korkus pls stop using my comments as Jollof rice condiments ooh!
ReplyDeletePoster 3 it's not like your parents follow around, do they? You went to a University, Graduated, went to camp, now serving(not in your parent's house I guess) so why are you bringing your parents in? People that meet men you think they move about to hook men? With this your very "responsible" CV and that V word there, I think this is an advert, don't get me wrong o, it's not bad to advertise but spell it out well, im sure you would get mails from the good and bad asking for your email.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 you don't have a problem jare.
Poster 1 if he's not seeing someone he would have asked you out, since he now know you are free, im not sure he likes you that way, don't embarrass yourself.
Choi,
ReplyDeleteI came late...my house is filled with visitors but I must give my humble advise...
Poster 1,
There is nothing wrong in telling him how you feel about him...
Common,tell him you like him joor...
Poster 2,
Keep both of them...I mean,double date!!!...
Don't put all your eggs in one basket...
Poster 3,
Hian!!!..,
In this age and time?...no man will come to your house to look for you except ndi Mugu!!,,
Run away from your house jare...don't waste your adult age indoors cos when you finally get married,it's like another prison...
Biko enjoy your youth now and forget about your parents...their time don pass...
Infact,you need to start clubbing first...
Lmao! You? Humble advice?
DeleteThis babe is craaayyyy!!!
Lolzzzzz
You de mind LE?
DeleteLmao!
Wehrey ni yen.
Poster 1, you shouldn't be falling in love with someone you have never met in real life, guard your heart. Poster 3, have a meeting with your parents, sit them down and talk to them.Re assure them that you will not go astray or misbehave.Na wah sha, but you should experience life abeg,they cannot protect you forever mow. Will they live till enternity.
ReplyDeletePoster 1..... receive sense
ReplyDeletePoster 2...... Receive a trailer load of sense!
Poster 3....... I understand how you feel o. Me, I met my husband in the church as a "brother", several years later,he told me he always liked me and we got married almost immediately. Husbands dont drop from the sky, that's true but if na waka dey bring husband, then all the oji ukwu eje aba and all the trekkers will be hooked by now. You should spend more time praying to God for you " God-Ordained" spouse to find u, not the other way round. Just be patient. E nu go?
Lol @ Oji ukwu eje aba.... Idi funny.
DeletePoster 1- stella has adviced you accordingly.
ReplyDeleteHer submission is my exact opinion on your matter.
Poster 2 - your ex is what he is. Ex---pired!
Don't put yourself in a situationship. Move along with your new boo
Poster 3-- your parents are over protective. Such acts lead kids into making mistakes. Cos once they have an opportunity to freedom, they may end up getting into trouble. Get a respected elderly relation to the family to talk to them. A good bet will be your dad's elder sis or aunt whom he respects.
I have a feeling that she is saying they are strict is about not letting her go for weekends with boyfriends etc. At 26 her mum would even tight the dad in other to let her go out often.
DeleteMk i dey read
ReplyDeletePoster 2, nothing like he loves you more, you can only speak for yourself. Besides, you're thinking for him already.. I'm not a fan of LDR but then, never say never but don't be too hopeful to avoid dashed expectations.
ReplyDeleteAs for your ex, if he couldn't stand up for you then, what is the assurance he will do so now? Don't be a rebound material, use your tongue to count your teeth.
1....God will fix it...marry d second guy and u'll continue ur wayward ways with your ex....ewu !!!
ReplyDelete2....Call me on 0801234567, i'll come and ask 4 your hand in marriage in your fathers house. berra take a step out cos if you dont u'll end up with the wrong guy. i'm talking from experience cos dats d battle i'm fighting
1....God will fix it...marry d second guy and u'll continue ur wayward ways with your ex....ewu !!!
ReplyDelete2....Call me on 0801234567, i'll come and ask 4 your hand in marriage in your fathers house. berra take a step out cos if you dont u'll end up with the wrong guy. i'm talking from experience cos dats d battle i'm fighting
The three of you should receive sense by fire!
ReplyDeleteAt 26?
ReplyDeleteAnd you just sit there?
You are a grown woman!
Wow! Example of children respecting their parents. This is pure fear!.
Also, do you have to wait till you're married to move out?
Let me just read comments today bc I got no fuel for these!
ReplyDeleteP1, pls hold your two ears and listen well. Men know what they want. If he's not talking relationship yet, its bc he's not sure he wants you and its like he's a good guy who doesn't want to hurt you. Pls, get ahold of yourself. No matter how civilized the world gets, I still posit and will always maintain that its a man's place to go after a woman and not vice versa. Men love challenge. They love to conquer. If you can't control your feelings, pls give him a break. Stop initiating conversations with him. When he does, be polite and keep it brief. If he really likes you, he wil realize he's loosing you and he wil com after you. If he doesn't, then let the friendship die naturally so that your own man who will see you as a challenge wil com and conquer you. I don't see myself being just friends with a guy I hav feelings for. If he doesn't come after me, I end the friendship. Pls don't make a fool of yourself. Men are very wise.
ReplyDeleteP2, you already stated the pros and cons of being with both. You saw that your ex is pure bad market, so what exactly are we expected to say? Pls follow your heart. Na you sabi. Wen fire burn you, person no go tell you make you comot hand for stove
P3, you are serving. You go to church. And I'm sure you go to one or two other places. And you're also on social media. I sincerely think you have enough avenues to find a husband, abi you dey take style advertise your virginity...lol. Pls, chillax. Just pray to God for a good man. You don't have to walk up and down the street to find him. AND DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT VIRGINITY. God bless you as you remain chaste
Follow ur heart -d 3 posters.
ReplyDelete#1, Don't say anything!
ReplyDelete#2, Forget your ex!
#3, You have to fight your way out. My parents were like that, being the only daughter also. One day, I just rebelled! Even pastors preach that you have to put yourself out there to be seen. Gone are the days of yore. Best of luck.
Nitty.
How do people meet on instagram and twitter? Pls help a bv
ReplyDeleteFollow them.. send dm's. Follow pple they follow. When you see what you like comment on his/her pictures, drop subtle hints, ask for follow backs..
DeleteI don't know why I'm so selfish when it comes to reading relationship woes. I don't care!!
ReplyDeleteLast poster please remain indoors and listen to your parents oo nne.
Poster one: please don't tell him yet
ReplyDeletePoster two: stop this ex factor and focus on ¥oûr present guy.
Poster three: I don't think Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ re acting mature, cus if Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u do, your parent will let Ÿ̲ou be. Stop acting like the stature thing and baby rubber attitute
Poster one.
ReplyDeleteContinue chatting with the guy.. be friends first.
November you say? Please it is too soon to go all emotional on him..didn't you just come out of a relationship in April?
Get busy with other things,if he has fallen for you,he will let you know. Use this time to study him,if possible persuade him to come to Nigeria but as a friend oooh. You need to know the kind of person you are about to throw your pride to the winds for.
Poster two
An Ex? Omg!! Bad news!
First rule,never go back to an Ex..especially the one that dumped your ass.
Nurture this relationship you have and try to visit that Abuja surgeon biko.
A lot of things happen in Abuja..make sure he is totally single,free of unnecessary baggage and not a pretender.
I don't know why ladies waste the time they are supposed to really know a man chasing shadows.
Know thy man well. Trust me when I say there are things you should know about him,chronicles have thought me that some men are not who they seem to be.
Poster three
Your daddy is just being a Dad.
Left for my dad,i should not have gotten married sef.lol
My parents decided to work my service to our state which would have seen me doing my primary,secondary,university and service in the same town...
God pass them,i pleaded my case,they saw that no matter where I was,i was going to uphold the virtues they imbibed in me. They let me go..they never regretted.
Maybe your liberation will come when you start working...
Just assure them that you kept yourself not because they kept you under lock and key,but cos you know the right thing to do..
You will be fine dear... your man will come for you.
Ps:since you have never been in a relationship before,i presume you will be naive.. please always read chronicles of sdk and learn my darlyn..
Out there,you have a lot of wolves waiting to pounce on girls like you... please,please be wise..
We plenty, I be 31 and when you call NAI-AIVE, na me you dey call so.Some people said you need to seat them down and talk to them, dem be babies?....thank God you have understanding parents,some don't won't to listen, they are parents and since they came to the world before you, their say is the truth and final, you?you don't have a say, your feelings gan sef . .., they don't believe you get, I beg leave matter...
DeleteIt is well
ReplyDeletePOSTER ONE: Take It Easy.
ReplyDeletePOSTER TWO: What do you want?
POSTER THREE: tongueout at you too, shuo! Talk with mummy first. then face daddy. BE BOLD and respectful and very patient.
STELLA, easy with the burgers... cut some for me na
EVERY-EVERY, happy last day of May. And welcome to the month that matters *grin*
Poster 1: don't tell him, is Cuz ur birthday is coming up nd you want to hav a bf to celebrate with? Plz let him come at you first. Chill plz.
ReplyDeletePoster2: you already have your answer, no confusion here. The ex wants sex, so stick with ur current bf.
Poster 3: this NYSC was an opportunity for you to escape but since you decided to stay in Lagos, pele, you have to chill maybe your dad will bring husband for u. We r in d same shoes but I dey use this my NYSC to run away.
Am running too...lol no time!!
DeletePoster 2: seriously, I could have sworn I sent this narrative or my friends sent it on my behalf cos thats exactly my story. I had 2 break up with my ex coz of family issues. I thought i'd die without him even though there were guys that would do anything to be in a relationship with me. Shortly after the break up, I met another guy who loves me soooo much. I kept thinking of my ex coz he was sooo sweet and we were sooooo in love. Eventually, I had to advise myself and move on bcos all this family wahala, I no get power. Now i'm engaged to the new guy and would be getting married before the end of this year. Sweetie....it might be a tough decision but u have to let go of ur ex. nothing good would come out of it if you go back to him.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been able to comment since yesterday. It's so sad. After typing, and I click on the publish button, it doesn't respond. Poster 3, they don't allow you go out? Where u home schooled during ur uni days?
ReplyDeletePoster 2: ur x wants sex ur bf is serious he s dis he dt n yet u are stil confuse oya go wt d x hv sex den bcom a baby mama
ReplyDeletePoster 3:the lord s ur strength am vry sure ur parent do nt follow u around xo u can hv frnds if u want 2 or dey follow u 2 class y u were in sch? N 2 cds nw dt u serving
Poster 1:................
#1,wait a bit before leaping. If he wants u,he'll let u know since he already knows u're single.#2,u hv no problem wit ur present relationship so stick there,forget the ex,he comes wit baggages,forward ever nd backward never shud b ur motto#3 my dad is like dat,stil is. Am a bit like u,not big for my age nd am 27 but u wouldn't know it nd hv always bin the model daughter shy,introverted,dnt hv much friends,comes home before 10pm as ordered nd it affected me,even while in skul,took the skul environment to shake me up a bit but my younger sis was quite my opposite,a little bit defiant wit her I dn't give a fuck attitude. No matter hw u cage a bird,if it wants out,there's Notin u can do but let it fly. Let ur dad now that the era he married ur mum is quite different frm now. Ur mum ain't helpin matters either.I chose to follow the rules @ home jst becos that's me,dnt really like to get my folks aggravated cos they get dat easily frm my sis but that didn't help me. Am 3yrs older but she's more experienced than me,done wit skul nd plannin to move out frm my parents home. Psychologically,no matter the intent of trying to protects one's kids,being caged doesn't help anyone. It makes u loose a whole lot of experience nd it makes one less social which can b aggravating cos on the social scene u know nothin,its even more worse if u're a phlegma. This is frm experience nd I hope u take the leap nd try to go out more not jst to meet men but to experience more of life.
ReplyDelete#1,wait a bit before leaping. If he wants u,he'll let u know since he already knows u're single.#2,u hv no problem wit ur present relationship so stick there,forget the ex,he comes wit baggages,forward ever nd backward never shud b ur motto#3 my dad is like dat,stil is. Am a bit like u,not big for my age nd am 27 but u wouldn't know it nd hv always bin the model daughter shy,introverted,dnt hv much friends,comes home before 10pm as ordered nd it affected me,even while in skul,took the skul environment to shake me up a bit but my younger sis was quite my opposite,a little bit defiant wit her I dn't give a fuck attitude. No matter hw u cage a bird,if it wants out,there's Notin u can do but let it fly. Let ur dad now that the era he married ur mum is quite different frm now. Ur mum ain't helpin matters either.I chose to follow the rules @ home jst becos that's me,dnt really like to get my folks aggravated cos they get dat easily frm my sis but that didn't help me. Am 3yrs older but she's more experienced than me,done wit skul nd plannin to move out frm my parents home. Psychologically,no matter the intent of trying to protects one's kids,being caged doesn't help anyone. It makes u loose a whole lot of experience nd it makes one less social which can b aggravating cos on the social scene u know nothin,its even more worse if u're a phlegma. This is frm experience nd I hope u take the leap nd try to go out more not jst to meet men but to experience more of life.
ReplyDelete#1,wait a bit before leaping. If he wants u,he'll let u know since he already knows u're single.#2,u hv no problem wit ur present relationship so stick there,forget the ex,he comes wit baggages,forward ever nd backward never shud b ur motto#3 my dad is like dat,stil is. Am a bit like u,not big for my age nd am 27 but u wouldn't know it nd hv always bin the model daughter shy,introverted,dnt hv much friends,comes home before 10pm as ordered nd it affected me,even while in skul,took the skul environment to shake me up a bit but my younger sis was quite my opposite,a little bit defiant wit her I dn't give a fuck attitude. No matter hw u cage a bird,if it wants out,there's Notin u can do but let it fly. Let ur dad now that the era he married ur mum is quite different frm now. Ur mum ain't helpin matters either.I chose to follow the rules @ home jst becos that's me,dnt really like to get my folks aggravated cos they get dat easily frm my sis but that didn't help me. Am 3yrs older but she's more experienced than me,done wit skul nd plannin to move out frm my parents home. Psychologically,no matter the intent of trying to protects one's kids,being caged doesn't help anyone. It makes u loose a whole lot of experience nd it makes one less social which can b aggravating cos on the social scene u know nothin,its even more worse if u're a phlegma. This is frm experience nd I hope u take the leap nd try to go out more not jst to meet men but to experience more of life.
ReplyDeleteposter 2, there is a reason u broke up with ur EX, and i can assure u he has not changed. when the going gets tough, he will drop u faster than a hot frying pan....why r u clinging to a past idea when the real deal loves u....na devil dey tempt u oooo...abeg find time travel to abuja go see ur BF to clear ya head.
ReplyDelete@ poster 3 my dear e remain 4 yrs 4 u to turn 30 ooooo,r u high???vwhat tym do u have left to groom a relationship u better find ur square root oooo coz my sista urr potential husband might juz b lurking around waiting 4 u to pass by,@poster 2 u better cast and bind dat ur EX awaay from ur liiife abeg ur new Bobo sweet die sooo abeg stick to him nd don jeopardize what u guyyz share ooooo nd go back to ur sex starved EX
ReplyDeleteP1, let things work out naturally don't tell him you may sound desperate.
ReplyDeleteP2. please stay away from your Ex, he is toxic and will bring no good.
P3 talk to your parents, in the meantime, be active in church, join a department
Poster 1:-don't support u telling him.kip cheatin with him.in dis case I'll say let it happen naturally.my hubby was a wonderful shoulder b4 we started dating.he was and still always der.we cldn't stay apart from each other despite d fact we never spoke abt luv.i liked and loved him quietly and so also wit him.it took really tin d day he finally professed his love.i didn't even tink abt it becos it was wat I was waitin for.
ReplyDeletePoster 2:-giv ur ex a break plz.wat does he want.he knows u 2 well and he is takin advantage of u.
Poster 3:- be calm and relax.u don't mid to b at d center of d world for u to meet a man.der's really nothing out der.tank God u re serving.u'll soon get a job and mingle mum.d truth is if u av bn kipin to wat ur parent re sayin den u re a good girl becos some other girl wld av done more harm even with dis security.just b prayerful and pray for d right man to kom ur way.at dis age,u don't mid to mingle so much.it will just happen and also be very nice to everyone dat moms ur way and hw u carry urs elf also
Poster 1, why on earth would you want to tell a guy you haven't met that you are in love with him??? If it were that this guy you haven't met is asking you out, it would have been less worrisome chronicle. He is this, he is that, bla bla bla...Do you have any evidence to support your claims? Have you done any background check on him? Wisen up lady! Don't swallow all he has told you hook line and sinker.
ReplyDeleteBut of course, people we havent met are ALWAYS nice and romantic (for opposite sex) on the phone or from afar until you get to relate with them closely and alas there are revelations! Trust me, you still don't know this guy! You don't know if he is married or hooked. Calm down.
Again, why do you give him details of your personal life, ur ex, etc. Why? Does he give you a breakdown of his own? Lady, watch your mouth, lest you divulge too much info to a stranger. We haven't finished trusting the ones we have seen not to talk of those we haven't seen. Personally I don't think a guy would accord respect to a lady he hasn't seen who tells him she is already in love with him, a confident lady has much self control and won't take such risk. For what?
Anyway, even if he is a good guy, let him make the move first and when he does, still be verrrrrry cautious. My dear, the stakes are high. Use your head. Long dist rship is not a child's play.
NB: Beware of guys that easily socialise on social media. Hard working guys hardly visit facebook or Insta. As for me, everything on social media stays on social media unless it's an exceptional case.
ReplyDelete"....but my bf is so so sweet and considerate and I can see myself being his wife and I don't want to hurt him plus he is fine and has a rship with God but my ex doesn't even like going to church".
Woww!!! I will choose a FINE, GOD-FEARING, SO SO SWEET and CONSIDERATE gentleman over another dude. Tell me again...he is a doctor. Oh, am crushing already. Babe, if your ex didn't come back, are there other major issues that will warrant a break-up in ur present rship? If no, why can't you give yourself common sense! You want to end a one year rship bcoz of an ex who couldn't stand up for you when things got tough? Damn, let ur ex remain an X. Have-some-sort-of-humour ko, being-together-for-long ni.
Don't lose what you have chasing shadows. Face ur present rship and give it the best shot. No, don't be friendly with your ex, stop reading his msgs, keep him at arm's length. Didn't u tell him you hv moved on? Warris all dis? I don't even trust his coming back, maybe he cudnt find a good girl out there and he wants to get back wt you.
Stella, if this babe dumps the bf, please she should send you his contact info, I have someone for him. Oriegwu!!!
Hmmm Stella D'Kork, na orishirishi today. Potato chips dey, hot dog dey, peanuts dey - u even sent for beer! Kai! U gots to move o, make I enjoy with u small...
ReplyDeleteNo. 3: when applying for jobs apply for jobs in vicinities away from home. You could always go for a postgrad degree far away. But as one BV said, u need to pray to God to send ur real man to u. There are women who got their boos right in front of their homes. Don't be desperate, wait on the Lord, & let ur light shine anywhere u are.
U sound like a child. U are cute,you are not tall, u have baby face bla bla bla. And i am sure u probably act like a doll baby. Pls tell me how your dad will let you be. So u are telling me you recieved atleast 4 years of lecture in your father's compound. Mtsewwww
ReplyDelete#2: Assuming your best friend resigns from a job that payed half of what she's worth, had crazy working hours, zero incentives and to make matters worse, it's a high risk job with no hazard allowance nor medical insurance. Then she gets a new job paying triple her former salary, flexible working hours, amazing incentives including, all expense paid vacation overseas annually, housing allowance, medical insurance, a chauffeur driven company car, the whole nine yards.
ReplyDelete
Then a year later, your friend comes visiting all forlorn with tears in her eyes and she rushes into your arms and tells you, in between heavy sobs, that she knows this new job is a blessing and has placed her higher than she ever imagined, but there's only one problem...she misses her old shitty job because she had grown accustomed to the hard life and now she's torn between the old job and the new, so she needs your advice. What, pray tell, would your reaction be? Guess what, honey? I'm guessing my 1st reaction after reading your write-up is remarkably similar to how you would react.
However, after a few scoops of Haagen Dazs, I'll tell you three things can be responsible for such an astonishingly illogical feeling that might be mistaken for insanity. They are; INSANITY(of course), SPIRITUAL MANIPULATION, and the worst of them all... LOVE. Guess which I'll put my money on? LOVE! The most powerful emotion that defies logic or common sense. It scary thing about love is, if wielded rightly, it's the most beautiful feeling that mere words cannot describe but when wielded wrongly, it leaves devastations of gigantic proportions in its wake. That's the destructive and irrational type of love threatening to derail what looks like a promising future. Sweetheart, kill it before it grows.
I can't say for sure that the new guy is "the one" but I can assure you "return of the Mark" certainly isn't "the one". Some things and some people/ memories are better left where they came from, the past. God speed, darling.
#e-bearhugs
Poster 3, had a similar experience with my parents. Overprotection. The fact is that a child can spoil in that very little time that they leave the house. Thankful I was sensible and decided I was not going to rebel. I was hatching my plan on how to permanently leave the house when I go for youth service and never return. My curfew was 6pm. However, my dad died in my final year, there went my plan. I already knew what I wanted for myself so I did date (personal decision). I didn't know any to make a mistake and marry somebody I would regret.
ReplyDeleteI would say the experience has made me more of an introvert though when you meet me, bubbly and jovial, you won't believe how introverted I am, I can lock myself in a house for week and would want more.
You got to know what you want to go for it. Your parents wont be with you in your husband's house when you get married.
Num 2; ur ex might be my ex too its a lie! It was exactly the same reason we broke up!! He will never talk marriage he just has sweet mouth..u will only waste ur time and life like I did with him... Meanwhile the idiot had other girls which u might be one of them self!!! Stick with this new guy cause if his name is kj he is a he goat! Ok bye
ReplyDeletePoster 1: Receive sense already. Abeg pack urself very well.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: stick with your bf. Your ex has nothing to offer u, he had his chance and lost it. He's just there to distract and destabilize u.
@poster 3. Pls listen to ur parents, if u have good relationship with God husband will locate u where ever u are. It's ur type that get pregnant at first attempt. Your parents loves u and know the best for u, listen to them to avoid had I know
#1 Don't bring love into it yet. Try seal/guard your heart and pray it work out. Stay focus and avoid those small small boys for now. So that he won't see you as being loose.
ReplyDelete#2 Kick your ex far away from you. Don't go back to your vomit lady because you'll receive th shock of ya life. If the Surgeon is single stick to him and pray too.
#3 You need to let them know that you're an adult but don't disrespect them, try get a job and a good man will definitely show. Thank your God you've people protecting you. God will do it for you, hey remove yr mind from marriage if not you might clock 30 n no husband.
#3: Sweetheart, were you home schooled till your tertiary level? You stated you are a graduate so you must have attended college or university even if you had to attend classes and return home each day or did you live on/off campus?
ReplyDeleteClearly, your parents' style of upbringing is extreme and unconventional but I'm sure something must have happened in the past to make them overprotective. It could even be before your parents got married. They may have old school values but that doesn't mean they don't love you or what the best for you.
Sweetie, be that as it may, you must learn to take responsibility for some of your actions and stop blaming your parents for your present condition. When you attached University/College, did your parents attend lectures with you? Why didn't you socialise and try to make friends while you weren't at home? It doesn't matter if you wouldn't be allowed to visit or have them over. True friends who know what your parents are like wouldn't mind. Now that you're serving don't you get to interact with people or are you hiding your insecurities behind your strict upbringing? You seem to be quite aware of your looks and though you are a virgin you come across as exposed and not timidy. You mustn't be in at a different town or be able to spend weekends away from home to maintain a relationship that would lead to marriage.
Your dad may seem ridiculous but I agree with some of his ideologies. While it's healthy to mix up and attend social gatherings which may raise your chances of being approached by eligible suitors, there are no guarantees that you will meet your hubby there. Have you considered the fact that if given the freedom you crave, you may have dated about 4 guys in one year who all turned out to the creeps and you're back to square 1? If it were that easy don't you think those popular party-loving gals would all be married? There's hardly any occasion they wouldn't be seen in attendance yet they remain single with quite a number of failed relationships under their belts.
Instead of whining like a spoilt child, why not make lemonade with the lemons life threw at you. Instead of holding your parents responsible for being a spinster at 26 years(not like it's a big deal to be unmarried at 26.) why not pray for the right man to locate you? A lady doesn't go looking for a husband, the husband comes looking for his lady. Location doesn't affect divine arrangements. God knows you're honouring your parents' wishes, don't you believe you will be rewarded for that? Honey, leave your fears at Jesus' Feet and go on living your life and enjoy every minute of it. There are many 26 year old girls at the morgue/mortuary, some are already in the grave. There are ladies with better qualifications having serious mental issues that marriage is the last thing on their minds and they would give anything just to lead a normal life. Give thanks for the life you're blessed with. You aren't less blessed because you are single, you need to calm down.
#e-bearhugs.