Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Na wah...

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

MARRYING A MAN WITH A THIRD CLASS DEGREE AND A 

BANK BALANCE OF N150K

Thumbs up Stella for your good works.
Straight to the point because I'm so confused right now, infact with a very heavy heart. I don't know what exactly to do that's why I'm writing this so that BVN will at least share some brains with me.

This might be the longest chronicle on SDK because its quite lengthy so please bear with me and read along. I'll try as much as possible to make it detailed and understandable.

I'm a young lady in my late 20's from an average family... not broke, not rich. I was raised by a single mom. I'm done with school and all but since getting a job in this our Nigeria is quite difficult, I decided to venture into this fashion thing instead of staying idle. I learnt the fashion thing for about a year plus and let's just say I finished in December 2015. As much as I wish to start my own business, funds won't let me but that's not even the issue.

I started seeing a guy sometime in 2013. He's someone that refuses to let me breathe. After so much pressure, we started as just friends, nothing attached. It was just an hello-hello conversation until he made his intention known which I bluntly refused. He was relentless and never gave up. During most of our conversations, he does the talking while I do the listening. I realised he was fun to be with. He sounds very intelligent also. He said he started doing construction jobs when he couldn't lay his hands on anything after school.

 We both laughed and said it was a cool thing to do since it was paying his bills (so, I thought). The car he drives too made me believe it was a paying job, there was no benefit of doubt. I felt the only thing he needed was to do marketing. I didn't still feel he was the one until he did something really amazing. This thing really WHAO'D me (lemme skip the thing). I had a quick rethink and I decided to try him out since I wasn't even in any relationship at that moment.

 We officially started dating in 2014. 

This guy was way better than what I ever imagined; very caring, humble and all. At a point, I thought it was all pretense, but I was wrong. Nothing seemed difficult  to him. He does my laundry. Yes! My laundry. 

He cooks, he does the dishes... Gosh!! This guy is soo serviceable. Despite all this Stella, the love wasn't still there. I practically like him for what he does, nothing more. He will come visiting, buy me stuffs, even paid my rent sometimes and all. 

I stumbled on his laptop one night where I got to know he came out with a 3rd class. Well, he never told me because he's always hiding stuffs from me. I had to encourage myself that there was no other better guy out there. I also started believing the saying "love grows" and my mum will say grace overcomes grade. Since he's caring and rich (so I thought), I was cool. That was what I kept saying to myself. After he felt he finally had my attention, he decided to take me to his parents. I initially declined saying I wasn't ready and I didn't have any job at that moment but he insisted and said job will come and I shouldn't be bothered about that and he'll take care of me. He raised my hopes after promising heaven and earth.  

We visited his parents as planned and spent the weekend. It wasn't a pleasing atmosphere but what could I do? I just played along. The parents were lovely though.

Fast forward to a month after our visit, he popped the question and I stupidly accepted (poor me! I wish i didn't). The ring wasn't bad either, someone in the UK got it for him. He  hurriedly started talking introduction which we ended up doing last year September. This guy can procrastinate for Africa. He only get things done with his mouth. No plans, No Nothing. I noticed all this while preparing for the introduction. After it was all done last year, his parents have been on my case since January asking me how far about our plans for the wedding. Until recently, I had to refer them back to their son. But their son won't say nothing. Will I force him? HELL NO!! 

He came visiting last week and I decided to ask about what his parents were calling me for only for him to say I know he has been hustling all the while, that he hasn't saved enough money and can't just pick a date. I asked why he had not told his parents and he went further saying all the money he has gathered so far is just #150k and that we should hit the market and get a ring and traditional attire then keep them till he gets money again to buy other things. At first,I thought he was trying to make a joke of me only for me to get the shock of my life when he swore that that's all he had. I teased him playfully saying you are a joker and he swore again..

OMG!!!

 At this point, I realised he wasn't joking. Then I asked him again what exactly he has been doing with his money or probably he froze it and his reply was a NO. He went further by saying the little money he gets from his mere job was what he spends on his car, on himself, on his retired parents and on me and I was like what the fuck!

Stella, headache catch me straight. This guy doesn't have a house to his name o. He's only sharing a flat with his 2 other friends and they share rent and pay 60k each. Infact, when I visited him once, it was an empty room oh. He doesn't even have a chair. All he had was a mattress and a hanger, so where the hell is the money? Stella, don't you think I have been tricked? I'm so shattered and confused right now because there are lots of questions going through my head. 

Okay, let's just say we eventually get married, is house rent going to be free? Are we going to steal the furnitures and all? Will I come to blogs to beg for money for food?  Cos I don't just seem to understand. As much as I really want to get married, I am not that desperate and I am not sure I want to go through all this drama. I know what it means to struggle because I was trained and raised by a single mother so I understand it perfectly. My boyfriend's (abi its fiance's) hustle is not paying and 3rd class without any plan of a Pgd or even furthering.

     Fellow BVN, this is a cry for help as I am at a crossroad. What will you advise I do o not forgetting that I have done an introduction. I know there are no fortune tellers here but people with experiences go dey. Stella, you are not left out o. Please I need all your advice. BIKONU!!

*Am I being selfish or impatient?

*Will it be fair to leave him now considering the fact that he's trying his best?

*Do you agree with the idea of buying thing and keeping? But till when?

*If hustle no pay, certificate with low grade in this our Nigeria? How you see am my people?? And I dont have a job too, to think things will be easier after the wedding.

*Should I still ignore marriage and focus on myself?? Therefore becoming selfish?

My dear you cannot get married on a broke ass situation...Get something doing,GET BUSY!

He didnt trick you,the signs were there but you didnt look well and got ''WHAO'D'' probably through material things.

You are still young and you said you are not desperate which is fine.

The decision to stay or go lies entirely with you because you are the one who has the shoes on.

He has told you the truth about his financial situation,its either you stay and build with him or you walk.Its your choice.

But please do not get married on credit or start a family without some kind of financial security.Marriage needs a lot of ingredient to balance it and cash is one of the most important.

This is me being truthful and i dont care if anyone cusses me out for saying this but,i cannot look a man in the eyes in a brokeass situation and mutter the words  ''I Love you''...LOL