Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: When You Are 29, Single And Nigerian.....

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Friday, May 13, 2016

When You Are 29, Single And Nigerian.....

My heart was pounding as I approached the gate. I walked fast, gasping in shallow breaths as the words George said to me lanced through my mind. The security guard bade me goodbye but I eyed him maliciously in return. You are one of them. Disloyal, two-timing employee, I cursed under my breath. 
Bankole, wherever he was, was no different. If he truly wished me ‘good’, he should have advised me from day one. 




I was angry with myself. This was too embarrassing to share with anyone, not even Bibi. She had warned me but I was carried away with George’s good looks and exotic living. 

I thought of the threesome joke he made the other night. Was his fiancée supposed to be the third person or maybe he had some other girl that came around whenever I was unable to? I should have smashed the TV, his car windscreen or something expensive in retaliation but he was stinking rich and capable of replacing it in the blink of an eye. 

Maybe I should have poured his fiancée’s stew all over the house. I felt stupid for washing the dishes earlier, the dishes they both ate from together. And then he had the guts to invite me to be his sexual lunch when a woman was right under his nose. I cringed at all the things we did intimately and I had a sudden urge to puke. At least he was honest enough to say he had no intentions of leaving her for me. They were going to get married and I wondered what part I was going to play if I stuck around. 
One of the ushers at his wedding, perhaps? I sighed inwardly.
     
‘Are you not going to come down and open your stupid door for me?’ I snapped at the driver.
     ‘Sorry Aunty.’ He was startled. That was my first time of making such a request; I always opened the doors myself. I had an overwhelming desire to kick the tires. Destroy everything that belongs to George.

Seated in the car, it surprised me that my usual emotional self didn’t give in to tears. I guessed it was because I was guilty too. Or maybe it was the age factor; I was an adult and only teenagers cried over men; two-timing men at that. My nose was suddenly itchy and I took out my septum ring and flung it out of the window. 
A month ago, we were watching E! when George had mentioned he found nose piercings attractive, and for that reason I had mine pierced, just to please him. So I was the one that was fit to move around with a steel ring on my nose while his girlfriend wore a diamond on her finger? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I cursed under my breath. 
     
The traffic had built up and I estimated it was going to take me not less than two hours to get home. I peered out of the window. In one of cars, a young girl was laughing and taking selfies with a male occupant in the driver’s seat. You better run a background check if he has a fiancée that comes in from the US to cook stew for him. I hissed loudly. 
     ‘Aunty?’ The driver turned.
     ‘What?’
     ‘I think say you call me.’
     ‘Is that why you called me aunty? Me or you, who is older?’
     ‘Ah! But na aunty I dey always call you.’
     ‘Please don’t call me that again. I am not your mate or rather I am not older than you!’ 
     ‘Sorry.’
     ‘How many girls you dey carry for your oga?’ I asked.
     ‘Ah! Na only you oh,’ he said.
     


Click here to order or email 29snbook@gmail.com


88 comments:

  1. I no fit buy for all the free money in the word single gwegwelinas should buy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ebony, you're filled with bile..
      NSG am definitely gonna buy your book, you're an awesome writer I must confess

      Delete
    2. Mtchew. You dont have to spew rubbish just to remain relevant. Aunty married woman.

      Delete
    3. David do not spoil another person's hustle.

      Delete
    4. The book is written by an intelligent mind for other intelligent minds who can actually read and understand and who also possess a great sense of Humour.

      All hope is not lost for you though, we can help you. Visit her blog and read. Don't forget to keep a dictionary beside you because I'm certain it will be too difficult for you to grasp on your own...
      Dullard.
      The single gwegs will buy and take he who you think you have and at that moment you'll need the book but it will be sold out..

      NaijaSingleGirl. You're too smart for words.

      Delete
    5. A brain is needed to understand a well written book.

      Birthday mate,if you are single,I'll like to send you this book as a birthday gift.
      Awesome NSG.as always

      Delete
  2. If you've not gotten a copy please do. Its worth the money.

    Wonder Tosin, I've not heard from you. Let me know how i can send you a copy of the book

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will sure get a copy. NSG writes so well. Kudos bae.
      #yourdiehardfan

      Delete
  3. Let me just keep shut




    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @NSG I'm in the states though, how can I get a copy?

      Delete
    2. P.s. I've asked this question on your blog as well and you are yet to reply

      Delete
  4. What is this now. everybody is coming here to remain popular

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Errm she is already popular. Go to her blog. You wont regret it.

      Delete
    2. Chaiiiio love me jeje dis is how u wld always show urself... Aha Han..... This girl has her own successful blog,but she is a very proud BVN member.

      Delete
    3. Just say you don't know her.

      Delete
  5. Lol, nice intro...

    Would order one. It's been long I read non-academic books especially "OFFLINE".

    ReplyDelete
  6. This mode of writing is old school .Please go straight to the point like chronicle of bv .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't be dull. This is a good book from the excerpts I have read. I haven't ordered one becos I don't live in Lagos and am still trying to get an address for konga to deliver to me. It's 3000N for Lagos residents if u pick it yourself and 500N for delivery in Lagos. Also it's 4500N for delivery in other states. Nsg u rock.

      Delete
    2. BB, I bought mine from konga, it's 750 for delivery within lagos

      Delete
  7. NSG hun...God bless your hustle

    ReplyDelete
  8. I really love this story and would love to order for it

    ReplyDelete
  9. When you start thinking much about what people would say, u would eventually lose focus on your aim.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Replies
    1. The people that 'have' the ability to write well.

      Delete
  11. Oh what a beautiful piece.... Nice one Author...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    NOT EVERYONE WHO DESIRES TO MAKE HEAVEN WILL GET THERE!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wow! Just when I was enjoying it 'click here....'

    ReplyDelete
  13. Interesting shit. Naija single girl, you is the real MVP! You are talented. Keep it up

    ReplyDelete
  14. Nice one @naijasinglegirl

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wow! Just when I was enjoying it 'click here....'

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hahaha. Naija Single Girl...29 I was and standing on the threshold, confused on whom to choose, everyone calling to say what are you doing to your Mum, i headed to the Prayer Grounds. I just thank God. Not easy being a YBS Young Beautiful and Single.
    Another is the TV Series sponsored by First Bank "Before 30", awesome scripting, great actors.

    Young lady your book is an interesting read. I swear I could have written this. If you're a lady and you don't own a copy you are sitting on a lonnnng thing. I'm so booking mine. No borrowing.

    Kudos baby girl. God bless your hustle.

    ReplyDelete
  17. NSG
    You write well but you for give us full story naa.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Stella with the good heart

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought that as well. Stella you're cool sha.

      Delete
  19. Stella Maris Baby..13 May 2016 at 13:53

    Hmmmmm!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Click here to finish the story abi weti? Who send am message. Any man that can't accept you the way you are isn't fit to be called my boo.. nose ring ko, why him nor build six packs for me.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Nice one @ naija single girl.

    To our beloved bv''s, I hope this post will not be an opportunity to abuse our singles. To our glorious singles, remember at the appointed time,a good man will come.don't allow your self to be moved by the rants of an unhappily married woman. Yes!! A happily married wise woman will never curse a single lady.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell them. Married and bitter always curse. Just to drag you down to their level.

      Delete
    2. You couldn't have said it any better, bitter married souls.

      Delete
    3. "A happily married wise woman will never curse a single lady" you are wise! Unlike dat useless fool dat made first comment. Ebonygold or whatever. Da heck is aunty gwegwelina?

      Delete
  22. Hmmm... this would be a good read.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I love the way you write!

    Reminds me of....

    All the best darling!

    ReplyDelete
  24. chaii.. to get a loyal guy in this country s hard sha.. God s got our back tho. we cant kill ourselves nah abi?

    ReplyDelete
  25. NSG ooo...
    I am so getting this book.
    Kikikikik...

    ReplyDelete
  26. Advertising toh bad

    I love the book

    Keep it up

    ReplyDelete
  27. Yayyyyy, My favorite novel on my favorite blog. I love and ive read it close to five times as at today.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Awww Stellz,this is one of the numerous reasons I have great admiration for you.God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Ah... me i am 33, very single. Many boyfriend, none sexual though.
    None i will marry either.
    Am i bothered?
    No i am not... where is my weed mehnnn
    Life is too short.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many boyfriends no sex.. why are you lying? 33 yrs and still weeding.. hahahahaha, your life is indeed admirable.

      Delete
  30. Nice style of writing sure getting it.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oh Lord! Lol background check. Indeed!

    ReplyDelete
  32. NSG, the sky is your starting point. Ordering for ur book will be money well spent... Thumbs up.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I love love love your Style of writing i swear. I didn't want it to finish .
    Nice one I'm definitely getting this if it is easily accessible.
    I heard you blog annonymously even your book too why the mystery? What if u like you and want to be your friend?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She shld continue to remain anonymous that is the beauty. But with this ur growing fame I wonder how u intend to remain anonymous,I am sure a time wld come when u wld become so popular dt u wld b offered proper money for speaking engagements. I wld ask dt u shld wear a mask,extreme but u wld b d lagbaja of d writing world... Keep up d good work girl, I am one of ur biggest fans. I knw I can't afford d book for now. But wld get it soon by God's grace.

      Delete
  34. Did she realy mentioned my name in her book?

    ReplyDelete
  35. I hate reading books online, am old school like to feel the hardness of the book am holding.NSG congrats .more ink to your pen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is in hard copy. Order from konga.

      #loyalfan #ilovethebook

      Delete
  36. You have a complete package that could only get better with time. Go girl! who knows it might end up as a TV series.

    I will like to own a copy.

    ReplyDelete
  37. End time trillion will not kill somebody one day. I'm going to get the book. Love her blog!
    I wish you the best NSG.

    www.ckjacob.com

    ReplyDelete
  38. Nice one NSG,you sure do know how to captivate with your writing.
    More power to your elbow,may the grace of Almighty God continue to avail much for you in Jesus mighty name...Amen

    ReplyDelete
  39. Swag Lafresh darling,I am fine o,don't mind me phone got spoilt & I just repaired it but I have sent you a mail...Thanks so much for the book,am a BIG fan of NSG

    ReplyDelete
  40. NSG pls put it on Amazon as an e-book so people abroad can buy as well. Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  41. Thank you everyone for the supportive comments. I wish I could reply every one of u. And you Stella, words will never be enough

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please can you put it on amazon so that those in diaspora can order as well

      Delete
  42. NSG, NSG. More grease to your elbow. You're going places.

    ReplyDelete

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