Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Tuesday, August 02, 2016

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Confusion break e bone yeepa!


Hi Stella, before I get to my story, I must compliment that you are doing a good job. I recently knew about your blog and it has taken over my addiction for the other blog(s). Well done.
However, i noticed you barely advise, please advise me sincerely after reading my story because i need it. Thank you.

Am a girl of 26yr old currently in the states doing my masters. Before i left Nigeria, i was engaged to a guy(we are from same village) . He is 34 years old. 

We have been together for 2years now and he's hoping when i get back we get married. A year and half into our relationship j started having doubts, that was even before he proposed. 

You see Stella, my family and his are very close, his parents and mine and so when one of my uncle introduced us, i thought i had met the right one. He's handsome enough, tall and clean, am a pretty girl myself tho on the petite side but , light skinned n i know the looks i get from men when i walk pass...I know am pretty but very humble about it. 

Problem no 1 is i feel my fiancee thinks am just there, he never really compliments me n he believes he is finer than me....Hmmm, even

If he is, i don't want to get married and Live in the shadow of my husband or be the one always complimenting him.  My other problem with my supposed fiancee is this, he still lives with his parents, he's a bit childish and he's too aware that he's a fine guy. I didn't have a problem with his living with his parents until after a year then i started insisting he moves out. Up till today he hasn't moved out, he tells me theres no need since am not in the country and his place of work is close to his parent's house. 

Also, he can act too fine i started getting irritated not to mention he has a lot of girlfriends, i have never had reason to think hes cheating but he can't be a saint na. When i was in Nigeria, he lives in Lagos and i in Abuja so we don't c often and when we do, d sex is just there fr me tho i know its great fr him. Stella, am a girl who have been through a lot, molested at a young age, kidnapped, raped at a later age, been in abusive relationships, guys wanted me mainly just for sex and am proud of myself i overcame and am sane. 

So stella, you will understand me when i say, i want a man that really sees me n appreciates me for me. My fiancee is very spontaneous during sex, wants to try everything, eager to give me a head and all but i make him slow down, considering all have been through, it takes a lot for me to relax during sex n my partner has to be patient, its not my faultI. Sometimes i feel bad am not allowing him collect enough but he has never complained. 

I have to mention he's a nice guy, prayerful and supportive.
The problem is even before i left the country, I wasn't in love anymore, i cared about him but i knew i wanted to slow down on the marriage n all. The whole closeness of our families made me not able to end things. I always felt his parents were trying to marry me for him and he just went with the flow, his mum calls me regularly and all.

 I think i just wasn't satisfied with his level of attainment and i started to fall out of love. When I explained to my mum she would tell me he's a great guy and i should mot look at another man. This is how i did the relationship for almost three years we have been dating now.

I recently ended tins making it as amicable as possible telling him he's great but i can't continue with this doubts i have. Its been a month and my family and his have been trying so hard to get us back together. He is ready only if i am.
Nobody really gets my reason for ending things and they make me feel like i made a mistake ending it.

Am already in a relationship with another guy,he's back home n wanted me long before I traveled but i kept turning him down cos i was trying to concentrate on my then relationship n make it work. Hes more mature, lives on his own n believes am beautiful, I believe he sees me . We are planning towards me going home in December for our introduction.

Well, I have hinted to my parents am courting him. My mum
Is the one giving me a tough time saying people from his village are bad, hes from my state o just different LG, she insists i settle with the other guy instead.

Am just confused and scared. 

Am I making a mistake ending things with the other guy? Already married people will know better. In short how do you even know who your husband is in this life.
Please i need advise.

Thank you.

*I dont think the problem is the guy you broke up with,the problem is you,your past probably has dealt you a blow that is manifesting in how you handle things....why should he move to his own place if he will be all alone?He probably chose staying there until you come to avoid females wanting to spend the night.

You have insecurity problems my dear,you have problems telling good from with your issues first before you make up your mind whom you want....from what you described,the first guy is a good choice and i would chose him over any other because of the family ties you described.
Love is not by force but your case sounds like someone who doesnt know what she wants...

If you no want,abeg release him fone number for others when want



I'm 24, Yoruba and live in the UK. My boyfriend is 34, Igbo and also in the UK . We just started dating like in June but we've known each other since March 2016. 

On Friday , he broke up with me cos I refused him sex twice . He said he can't cope with the kind of conditions i'm giving him and it's better we give it a break and cos he won't like to cheat on me ,Its better for him to date someone else who is ready to give him all what he wants as I'm not ready for a serious relationship . All because I refused him Sex Stella .

I have cried and cried and tired of crying and its not like I don't want to have sex with him , I'm just not ready yet . We've barely started dating just one month

I tried calling him and he isn't picking my calls . Who breaks up cos of sex these days? What am I doing wrong? I only see this on TV. 

First time it will ever happen to me . I really love him . 

I didn't know I was going to fall in love with him like this but I just thought I should give the relationship a trial and here I am, I have fallen so hard for him Stella . 

Please I need advice . Either good or bad . Cuss me out if you want .

What should I do please? Should I call him? My friends told me to leave him , he will come back after having a rethink. I don't know if I can wait any longer
It's been 3 days and I haven't heard anything from him . Help please .

Thank you so much

If you call him,you will agree to have s3x to keep him and if you do that you settle for less and if you settle for less,you will get even less than you settled for....who says he wont break up with you after he opens the cookie jar?
Better than to be heartbroken with your privates intact than my dear.



  1. Replies
    1. Loool. Full prayer πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    2. Poster 1- you seem to be bothered about how your ex looks,and how you look too,you want someone to always appreciates your looks,when you get married,compliment won't come as always as you expect.
      You are the problem not your ex or your mother.
      Poster 2-you never see boyfriend yet,keep looking,if he is for sex,you can only keep him with sex,and next stop will be anal,how long will you want to please him?

    3. Poster 1,throw the guy's number make I catch am mbok. My village no dey forbid any tribe. lmao the brother. And to answer your question, a lot of guys break up cos of sex these days.

    4. Many people only start to find faults when there's someone else lurking aroung. Poster 1 u need to deal with ur issues, build a good self esteem first then critically appraise both men in your life, their pros and cons (do this without bias).
      New thing always use to 'shak' but most of the time, it's best to stick to whom you know.
      Then abt him not complimenting u (Some guys are weirdly wired like that), communicate to him about it, he's no magician, he can never know ur mind.
      I guess the best advice to give is for you to pray about them. All the best.

    5. Poster 2 how can a guy b demanding for sex after a month? It just shows that he is not serious. Even guys who love a girl won't leave her cos of sex within the first month. He doesn't love you so stop hallucinating and move on. The guy maybe on top of a chic somewhere and u are disturbing yourself.

      Poster 1. I feel you. No matter how good a guy is, if you don't love him, you don't love him. If you marry the first guy, you will be miserable. I'm speaking from experience. I felt bad 4 you thinking you broke up with him when there is no other person. Since you have another guy who wants to come for introduction in dec, God just answered your prayers. He doesn't want you to make a stupid mistake. Date the new guy. Start telling your parents about him regularly so they will start programming their mind towards the new guy. If your mum won't listen, talk to your dad. Tell him that u don't love that first guy but dated him cos of the family. No parent likes to see their child unhappy. Win your dad's heart. After u get married n born, ur mum will calm down cos she must go for omugwo. Good luck. Envy u sef

    6. Lol girls and this no sex thing. But i concur with stella, let him go. If he is serious he wont break up with u cos of that.
      My gf told me she will agree to date me if i agree to no sex. I told her she cant be giving me conditions biko cos i wont find it funny if the mood and location is right 4 sex and she stops me cos thats like spoiling an epic moment. Difference is she says shes not ready. Didnt change the fact we still see everyday and all, hang and chill. Me too now said i will agree if she drops all makeup, painting her nails. Only lip gloss is allowed. She agreed. And whoza...thats how we started.
      If hes a sharp guy, he would be putting u in the mood and then when konji catch u, na u go dey call am.

    7. Poster 1, like stella said the problem is from you. You are insecure owing from your past experience. You are digging so deep to find what you hate about the guy. He is fine and then what? You are a woman you can press his mumu button to get any compliment you want. My husband is handsome and he knows that. We have been married for 18yrs. He knows he is handsome but to him I am the most beautiful woman on earth. Free your emotions, be mature and you will enjoy him. I am not forcing you to marry him oh because I can see you love your new guy. Do what makes you happy but you don't have a case over the first guy. There is no chemistry between you so allow him find his missing rib. But I doubt if your new guy is your husband.
      Poster 2, you don't have to cry anymore. They June or March guy is not yours. Who fall in love for sex only? He lusts over you not in love with you. I agree it hurts because you love him. Take it a day at a time. You will heal. Don't ever use sex as a tool to keep a man. He is not worthy of your tears.

    8. Mimi....#inyhurface#2 August 2016 at 20:25

      Tuscany very sure u are a benin boy πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    9. @tuscany, well said. That was exactly what happened btw my then boyfriend(now husband). He agreed to no sex because I wasn't ready, by the time we started d relationship he was everything i wanted in a man,i began to want him, when I finally agreed he kept asking if I was ready, I nearly slapped him, me that konji wanted to Moral for poster 2 is,no man who genuinely loves you, will leave you bcos u say u r not ready for sex.

    10. @mimi from kogi ooo. Ebira to the core

    11. 1. If you don't love him then don't marry him. Your instincts are probably right. You need a man who can really understand you and is sensitive to your feelings. About your new boo, you don't seem to have any doubts. Just put your marriage in prayer.
      2. I completely agree with Stella. He sounds like a fuck boy that will give you headaches. Run away fast, feel your pain, heal and be more careful choosing the next dude. DO NOT see him again. If you do, you will just end up being used. He will chop you and clean mouth. Abeg borrow sense.

  2. Replies
    1. Poster 2, I beg u in d name of God dnt call him or agree to have sex with him, he is nothing but a FOOL. At 34years of age, he is still after sex, something must be wrong with him and believe me he doesn't deserve you.
      God will provide your man for you soon

  3. Replies
    1. Poster 2 dnt I knw ur boyfrnd? Abi na Ex him be now..hmmmmmmm.
      anyway all these boys in Men body that think they are doing a woman a favour by dating her.. Yimu. So at 34 he's nt married. If u ask him now he will say he hasn't found the right lady. Sorry dear. Ur real man is coming. Jst wish this one safe journey as he foes in search of sex..

      Poster 1. U seem to be more concerned abt ur/ d guy's look. it's nt he's fault that's he's so fine and aware of it. Stop getting angry. With ur past experience, who says u won't fall out of Love with this new guy? u r still on d distance relationship thingy. Come back home first and be with him for 2months, then u will know better. Gudluck.

  4. Poster 2: he wud have sex wt u n still leave u n u wud still send in chronicles. So u beta tie ur legs now. Reason wt ur head n not ur clit, sex is worth waiting for o bare.

  5. P1, let your insecurities go, please. P2, i dash you E-slap

  6. @poster 1,firstly you should softly dey praise yourself. You said you are a short girl already

    1. Lol. Short gals no dey gree say them short oo. They call themselves 'petite'. 'am on the small side'. Yimu Some no even know the difference.

    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ this James ehn

  7. Poster 1 you are very funny. You are doing your masters abroad? With all your blunders? Odiegwu.
    You should have just gone straight to the point of you cheating instead of you painting your first boyfriend like the devil that you obviously are. How is someone a womaniser, childish but prayerful and supportive at the same time aunty?
    You don't like him anymore so please say it with your CHEST and stop rigmaroling. Your past has nothing to do with this and like you said you've overcome that phase, so why are you still relating it to your indecisiveness.
    You don't trust the first guy cos of the distance and his many girlfriends but you're so sure this second guy isn't doing the same thing seeing as you both don't stay in the same city.
    Keep urging your parents about the new guy since he is who you want. Leave the narcissistic fine boy alone.

    Poster 2 Na water full your eyes that's why. You are not in a relaionship and the minute you give in to his sexual demands, he'd still leave you. Keep walking ma

  8. Poster two if he loves you he would. Wait for

    Poster one all those fine boys they have issues. I can never date someone that looks better than me. Nobody has time for all those fine boy things. Make sure the second guy is what you want before going ahead with him

  9. Poster 1,
    Abeg leave that mummy's boy...grab the second guy and ignore your people...
    Is it their marriage?,..sometimes some parents don't know when to stop!,,,
    Marry that your fiancΓ©e and send in another chronicle...
    I hate guys like him...

    Poster 2,
    You don't want to move on abi? want to hook my Igbo brother by fire and force!...
    See you better move on!...if he is from my state,dude will never marry you...
    Go and look for your fellow yaraba man and date!...

    1. Linda, ima na I bu ewu?
      Jst say 'I know'

      Poster 1 if that guy is really what u described there... My dear, he is pompous and proud. He is ready only if u r ready.. If he really care about u, he wld v begged and begged but I guess he doesn't

    2. If the Yaraba you typed was an error, no p. But if it was deliberate, you need re-orientation. Mtcheeeew

      Wo omoge, don't waver. Be resolute and relax. I dated a girl during my uni days. She was a virgin and insisted that no sex. She was resolute but did not rub it in my face like if I can't cope, I should kiss her ass. I was fine with it cos of the way she made me see her reason. In essense, if you aren't ready for sex and you want to be dating, be resolute but know how to romanticise the issue with your man.

    3. ọ gaghα»‹kwa ahapα»₯. Nwa okoro nwere ego

  10. @1, don't mind ur parents oh, why forcing u to marry a guy u don't love, follow ur heart abeg, if possible get pregnant for d other guy that way they will ve no other choice.
    @2, are u a virgin, u ve been giving it to others guys na, shebi u be national cake,abeg gbensh the guy if u truly love him, I know u are already thinking of marriage, is too early u hear, enjoy ur relationship, if it leads to marriage fine, if not look for another guy,those that will advice to tie ur legs fucked their boy/man/sugar daddy this morning, so shine ur eye..

    1. Poster 1 if you follow this particular advice you will end up making your parents very angry. Better don't

  11. Poster 1: the main problem is u, it's all abt u always abt u u aren't even considering his own thoughts.Ok, he doesn't say u r beautiful who told u he doesn't already know? The one who acknowledges ur beauty how sure r u that in marriage he will respect u and even acknowledge it then when he's seen so many girls around?Ur ex is living with his parents do u know a new home can be paid for and gotten in one day? Abeg cool down bfor u lose the man who's indeed for u.He knows he's a fine boy and acts it same way a girl knows she's rly pretty and be proud about it.Marriage is not about pettiness my dear some things can be overlooked while some others can be worked on with ur partner.Good luck in ur choice of husband.

    1. Plenty likes Salt. Poster 1, please I think your insecurity is the reason you fell outta love. See a counsellor my dear. I like the first guy, with the description you gave o.

    2. Any guy that keeps emphasizing that he is a fine boy is bad news, talking from experience, leave that guy and move on

  12. Poster 1, I can reason with you, all these 'I'm too handsome guys' can form for Africa. I can't settle with a man who belief that he's more handsome and I should count myself lucky to have him. I don't like that mindset too. But how are you sure about the other guy? If you instinct is giving you go ahead with the other guy, please do. What matter most is your happiness.

    @Poster 2, now that you said you can't wait any longer, can you please send his number to Stella, so that all the single girls here will help you call and beg him on your behalf. Or better still, allow him have sex with you and watch him play you like a ball. My dear, you need to grow up asap

    *Larry was here*

  13. Poster 2: many men break up with their babes bcoz of sex!!! Let him go!!! Ha!

    Poster 1: don't mind stella jor. He's claiming to be finer that u? Lol. Is he dragging beauty with u? Hian!!! Even if he's finer than u, he shouldn't show u na. Haba!

    Leave him if u want to and stick to your new guy. Ur mum is complaining coz she wants the other guy. No agree biko. U know what u want. Go for it but get ur mum into it o.

    1. No man breaks up with a woman becaus of sex,they leave because they Sony love you enough to stay.poster 2.better flee from that guy.

  14. Poster two..

    You're lucky he told you what he wants in this early stage. Instead of deceiving you he loves you until he gets the cookie

    Poster one..

    You need prayers my dear

  15. Poster 1, you said you are petite and u still dey do shakara for person wey love you.
    As for me, I will rather become a Catholic priest than marry a petite girl. So do not over rate yourself abegi

  16. poster one i feel you do not love this guy enough that you can tolerate his childish behavior. Just date and marry who you love, is better to marry a man that loves you more than a man you love more.

    if your ex is ready to get an apartment where you both will stay after wedding, Nne, marry him, but if he is mum's boy biko run for your life.

  17. Poster 1 u really need to work on your insecurities...your complains are just too much. You haven't given any solid reason Why u ended things with him and started seeing someone else. It's obvious u'r no more inlove with him. Poster 2 seriously? Plz occupy yourself or get something /someone to distract u.

  18. Poster1: No on on this blog would understand xactly how u feel about both, we can only imagine, at the end of the day you'd follow ur heart... yeah, follow ur heart.

    Poster2: Oh pls, you should be grateful he displayed his true attribute.... he couldnt even pretend for 3months, all he wanted was booty, you think he wouldnt cheat on you even after u part ur legs? how come ure this hurt? im made to bliv the heart isnt in pain after a breakup, as long as u dont collect.

    #RamsayBolton: Should we see this cock everyone's always going on about?
    Everyone knows you love girls.
    I bet you always thought they loved you back.
    Your famous cock must be very precious to you.
    Would you say it's your most precious part?
    TheonGreyjoy: No. No! Mercy, please! Please, mercy! Mercy!
    RamsayBolton: This is mercy, i'm not killing you.
    Just making a few alterations.
    TheonGreyjoy: No! No! No! Please, no! No! No! No, please!

    1. #Arya Stark: Joffrey... Cersei... Walder Frey... Meryn Trant... Tywin Lannister... the Red Woman... Beric Dondarrion... Thoros of Myr... Ilyn Payne... the Mountain.
      Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: [irritated] Would you shut up?
      Arya Stark: I can't sleep until I say the names.
      Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane: The names of every fucking person in Westeros?
      Arya Stark: Only the ones I'm going to kill!

    2. RamsayBolton: can we play a game? Which body part do you need the least?
      Theon greyjoy : please
      RamsayBolton: please isn't a body part
      Theon: I will tell you everything pls

    3. #There is only one God, and His name is death,
      and there is only one thing we say to death; not today.
      #Syrio Forel

    4. #There is only one God, and His name is death,
      and there is only one thing we say to death; not today.
      #Syrio Forel

    5. Pipi and Olivia don join. Una doh ooo

  19. Poster one, u r the one to live with either of those men u choose, clear ur eyes well n mk sure u choose a man u can live with, dont marry for sentimental reasons or bcos of pity, marry a man u will be happy with especiallyv wen life seems there isnt much to be happy abt. And finally dnt marry bcos stella prefers a certain one bcos she dom deh her man house already n wont come live in urs with u.
    Final question, wen did u decide u hv fallen out of love wit the first dude, was it wen u started developing feelings for the second one? Pls dont mk a decision u will most likely regret.
    Poster two, i already see u going back to le boo n offering sex as peace offering. Bt let me tell u how its gonna work, he will welcome u, take the sex, call u sweet names n after u hv left he will nt call u anymore, n wen u do call, he will ask u to loose his number stating that he is in a serious relationship. Wen r u going to learn that nobody mistakes sex for love, its either u r having sex with him bcos his dick is life, or ur dating him cos u love eachother, either way, u need to tell urself the truth to avoid further chronicles.

    1. Pls platinum can you drop
      Your contact? Seems like it's me you're advising up there,I have the same issue has poster one and I'm so confused

    2. Anon 18.33...stick with the first nigger, what of if the second falls out of love with u??? U think say Na only u fit fall out of love. Better respect his feelings and stop being selfish

  20. Poster 2, which is you cried, he hasnt called for three days, abegi shift jare, so you still want to call him, just one month ago, he is acting like this because you refuse him sex and you are there wasting your tears, eku crying o.

    and Poster One, biko you no get issue, you don chop bellefood, abeg swerve, girls aint just loyal

  21. Poster 1: u have to be whole 1st bfr u can share ur sef wt anyone in marriage. Get ursef together probably see a shrink n a sex therapist, read good books on r/ship dat wud restore ur esteem. and most importantly pray, let God choose d best for u although ifu were my sis I wud ask u to bullshit d 1st guy n folo d 2nd. Any r/ship that doesn't give u inner peace isn't worth d stress.

  22. P2:he wants to do osho free for u.. Follow ur mind
    P1: make up ur mind, a devil u know is better than an angel u never know. See, tell him what u want,all this whining can't help u. He doesn't compliment u, ask him u like that... All this small ish, n d family loves u.... My dear b wise

  23. poster two allow that mother fucker go, he is not a real man and he is not in love with you but he is only after your totoh. Once his prick enter inside your something, he will walk away. Let him go, just June and he is already asking for totoh, he should have waited for at least six months before testing. why will you give him totor? keep your something tight for your future hubby. you better chop slap to reset your brain about that foolish love that you are into.

  24. Poster 1
    You need to deal with yourself you have not heal
    You guy do not have a problem

    But you can let him go if you are not into him. All your excuses are not tenable
    I hope you don't have a similar problem with the other guy.

    Your guy is a big joke. Don't fall for hid pranks
    Discard him like a used tissue Paper

    Igbo wayo sense

  25. Poster 2: sister cookie jar, cry cry. That guy will fuck you and still leave you. Should we bet? πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

  26. P2, let the guy go, you should know all he's after is sex!. P1 I feel with the close family ties that guy won't mess with you, but follow your heart

  27. Poster 2, you did not love the guy. Are you a Virgin? U gave other men your toto to gbensh but d person you claim to love you are denying him the same Toto.
    U are pretending to be a decent girl to him when you are not a Virgin. U just want him to call you a responsible girl bcos of that rubbish of hoarding Toto. He will not. He can not be deceived.
    I gbensh my tall fine Edo babe the first time she visited. And we did it as if there is no tomorrow. I no marry cox I never make money then. And rich men from her place were disturbing her parents to marry her.
    I love her more than any other girl I hv met. If her horseband fuck up today, I will marry her sharp sharp no wasting time

    1. You need to get over this tall Edo babe.... Or you can't find love again.

    2. Lmao, whenever I read about this your tall Edo babe. You be carrying a torch. She don go. Get a grip and get another.

  28. First poster is vain,confused and egocentric. Who ur beauty epp? You need someone to be flattering you all the time,for this buhari economy? You go old.
    Second your boyfriend's name Victor?

    1. She is a woman and a woman loves to be complimented.

    2. Poster 1 Na the wintch for snow white...mirror mirror on the wall, who is the finest of them all

  29. Uk guys always prefer girls in Nigeria, he is just using ur head, he had a serious girl here and just used the sex thing as an excuse to run,he doesn't love u,he just wants sex

  30. Poster1....your wahala too much.....poster 2 abeg free the nigga,he's not the only handsome dude.

  31. Poster 2 LET THE BROTHER GO!!!
    If you call him,you will agree to have s3x to keep him and if you do that you settle for less and if you settle for less,you will get even less than you settled for.... My favorite quotes from Stella. Poster you don hear? Don't let anyone cajole you into having sex with him, sex is something you should want to do, its your call to make, you decide when and who to have it with. If he can't respect your decision let the mother fhucked go.
    Stop being a mumu girl by falling in love anyhow, love hurts like hell, use your head and one of your kidney so that if it fails you will be on the safer side with one kidney. Who falls in love with their heart this days bikonu? Better borrow some sense

    Poster 1 me I don't even understand this your chronicle sef. Does it mean you depend on other peoples opinion bout you to make yoursef happy? Babe you gat a problem, work on yoursef and self-esteem. You sound so unserious and insecure. Deal with your insecurity first,

  32. Poster One. I go with Stella's advice for u. U need to work on urself first.

    Poster Two. Pls MOVE ON. If you call him back, he will open d cookie jar, eat it n DUMP your ass. Abeg berra guys still dey.

  33. P1 you are confused
    P2 pls let him go and keep tying those legs for the right person. Sex no be food

  34. Poster 1....smfh@but im Light skinned..So your being short must make up for your being light skinned..smh...Girl..Start loving yourself...Dark skinned or light skinned, tall or short...u must love yourself....You just dont love your boyfriend...dont go with Stella''s advice..she mostly get it wrong..Follow your heart...Marrying from your village doesn't mean sh*t....Some of u nigerians are too backwards....

  35. Poster 1,you need to really work on yourself like Stella said, you can't continue to be confused, work on yourself and learn to appreciate yourself. who told you that if you get married to the other guy he won't stop flattering you. my husband at the beginning of our marriage does not give any compliment about how i look, but he is very good at it now after more than 5 years.

    Poster 2 He will sleep with you and run! use your brainnnn! he will still run! if u like do 360 he will run. he is a runner

  36. Poster 2, don't call him biko let him go, cause if you call him he will still eat the punini and leave, poster 1, just free ur self, but jus like Stella said u can release his number for us.

  37. Prayerful and giving head outside marriage don't go together, it is like babalawo invoking at the altar.Aluu

  38. Poster 2: I don't understand how you guys fall so hard. Haba, it's criminal na. Always reserve some part of yourself for you... the part common sense should occupy.
    Anyways, i do think Nwanna wanted to chop and clean mouth. At 34, he is pressuring you so quickly for sex when he hasn't paid bride price....Hian!
    Pls, do not just let him go because you hope he will have a rethink and come back to you..... how disgusting that even sounds. Get him off your heart because he is a fool. Yeah, no decent self-respecting guy goes pressuring a girl that isn't his wife for sex. The sensible ones watch and assess if the babe is on same page, the more sensible ones do not even do because of the far reaching implications of sex.

    The whole sexual hype has made things so easy for guys if not, it is totally crazy to DEMAND something as binding and self-involving as sex in a non-marital relationship and, i'm not even being bibilical here. Sex begins from the mind and MUST always be consensual.
    Do not try to feel inadequate, sorry, lost and pressured. That dude had no good intention for you at all. Cry all you want and move on. You will be fine!

    Poster 1: He is vain and has a misplaced sense of priority and he is inattentive as well. Yeah, a smarter guy would have detected your struggle even if it is a little...that shows this guy is capable of a high level of inconsideration in relationships. You see dude is a very fine mumu! Sounds harsh, but that sums up who he is. A self-respecting 34yr old planning on getting married with a stable income, would have his own roof...even if it's a batcher.

    By the way, i don't understand how a guy can be so prayerful and be involved in pre-marital sex. This whole reformed christianity makes me wonder at the pages torn off my bible before i got it.....Oh well!
    Your doubts are not one to overlook at all...infact, Congratulations on dodging a bullet. You could follow stella's advise, drop his no for some desperado to grab. This one is no husband.

    My problem though is how quickly another guy entered the picture to the point of planning big steps soon. I know it works for some, but i dont feel like it would be so for you. I know you feel like you have recovered fully from the trauma of the past.... but i'm afraid, if you make a hasty marital choice, and it doesn't turn out so good. You just might just gain assess to the wrong part of your brain and lash out badly.

    Please press pause for now with the new guy...Be absolutely convinced he is the best for you...spiritually and commonsensically. Brace up to accept whatever may come out. Please prepare to square off, convince that is,with your mum. That familiarity between both families sounds good to her but pls allow no one to coerce you back to that guy. Goodluck!

    1. Nice advice for poster 1.

  39. Poster 2
    He will still dump you as soon as he sleeps with you. Receive sense in JESUS name! Amen!!!

  40. Hmmmm! N1, look well o bc all that glitters isn't gold. N2, u are on ur own o. Don't make that mistake of having sex with him. Am speaking with experience o. U will still regret it

  41. Poster 1: you're taking your first man for granted because of your family closeness,your mind is already close and you can't see the good in anything he is doing,you said he is trying his best right? He will move out when the weddin process begins and you can start a home together from scratch. The second man is more enticing because you haven't really dated him in close range,who says you won't get irritated with him when you caome back and spend some time with him. It is "see finish syndrome" that is worrying you. Open eyes choose oh,no be by fast heart beat.

  42. Poster 2, he is only after ur body,you should be grateful to God for exposing his evil plan, makeup and take yourself out.u will b fine.

  43. Poster 1, Be with who u like but be sure he is worth the battle u will have with ur folks. You can also beg the 1st guy to tell his folks dats its a consensual agreement to end things.
    Poster 2: let him go! Let him go ooo! Dont let him sleep with u, tell am make him waka

  44. Poster 2: I take God beg you,leave that man to go his way,one month and he is already pestering you for sex and breaking up? That means he came for your "something",he isn't serious otherwise he would love you and wait till you're more comfortable with him or whn you're ready. Thank God he left you now,just picture after having you twice or thrice and he starts acting cold... Go out and visit friends,stop staring at your phone waiting for a text or call,he is busy pwessing another byest. Pele.

  45. Poster live in the "states" with this type of grammatical errors and mgbeke mindset? Comparing yourself with a man about who's finer? Biko just somersault & die...maybe you'll snap back in reality. What nonsense!!!

    Poster 2...keep on crying, inugo? Start cutting yourself too

  46. Poster 1: You made some fundamental mistakes and got carried away by some sentimental issues. First of all I think you agreed to date your first guy because he was introduced to you by your uncle,from your village,friends with your parents but didn't profile the guy as per what you want in a man until you started dating him. The Second mistake again is you didn't wrap up your issues with the first relationship before introducing your new boyfriend to your parents. Trust me, your parents will never accept your new man even if he is a saint. You should have kept your new relationship secret until your parents accept the fact that you are single again then give them sometime before introducing the new guy. African parents have this issue with seeing their daughters call off a relationship with a guy they have some soft spot for. Now you have painted a picture that looks like your new guy is the reason why you broke off with the other guy. You have to really slow things down. My advice is tell your parents the relationship pressure is too much and a distraction for now.That you Have broken off with both guys. Then keep seeing your new's also a test for the new guy. If he stands by you now and be patient then you win both ways. Cause trust me before 6 months of pretending single your mum will start begging you to give another guy a chance. All the best.
    Poster 2: My advice to you is run and tie your legs like a mermaid. Which REAL man will break up from a babe he is head over heels in love with just for sex. He has ignored you for the past3 days and you are running after him. You have regrets very soon after he sleeps with you and dump you like some used tissue paper.

    1. Best advise...poster one, take this advise

  47. poster (1 )I could already fathom u had another guy b4 ur story u said the another guy #gbam I say confam dats were d conflict started,,, comparism is bad,,, d real guy nos watsup he doesn't want to compliment u in oda for u to hv ur head swollen & ur ego all up hence his behaviour dats wot guys do to kip their bae under control,, so underatand d me beneath those hidden character he loves u...but u could follow d one who lies to u to pls u as u want cus surely ladies luv lies...he cud say u look like Beyonce when in reality u are like weird MC.
    poster 2. succumb to dat shit and get ready to be used as tissue after using u he wud throw u away and u start hvin issue...I cud see him in a corner singing # who u epp.

  48. N. Dr. Agwoturumbe2 August 2016 at 16:05

    Madam Stella I disagree with you on poster 2. With plenty women who were born men, it is very important to check what u r going into.

    You post stories about wedding night mishaps, and you still say no sex before marriage?

    My people "ife adirozi Ka o di mbu". Shine ur eyes. Know what u r going into before u commit ur entire heart and soul into it.

    I throway salute

    1. My boo came back!!!!

  49. Errmmm...poster 1 biko shift the guy come my side if u no want.Its not like he is not employed and useful.Since u dont live in Nigeria anytime u come into the country and u need privacy with him please book a hotel for the days u need. When u ppl decide to now finalize things then u can begin the apartment hunt together.
    P2:If u never ready to dey collect things, abeg no put urself for line, cos when u start and he finally leaves u, trust me u will feel tripple worse than u feel right now.

  50. Poster 1, you sound a bit selfish and with low self coz you'd husband is fine, you won't marry him? Do you even know what love is? Better still, if he is someone you want to make why not tell him you need him to compliment you when you look good? I know you've had a tough past but abeg stop being soo selfish and allow yourself to be loved
    Poster 2: give it time, of he wants you, he'll come back


  51. 1.Chronicle one is very insecure about herself and if she does not deal with her past issues, she will destroy all the relationship around her. Maybe you are not just ready to be with anyone. There is nothing wrong with your first choice, rather it is you the dilemma.

    2.Don't waste your time for a player. You will open your leg and the next thing, the guy will deny you. You are too pretty to let any man use and dump you.

  52. Poster one.
    The problem is actually you.
    You have not overcome your past,i will tell you why.

    The fact that you need a man to find you beautiful and validate your total existence as a woman means that you are not as confident as you sound.

    Frankly,i do not even see anything wrong with that man,except I didn't read between the lines or you didn't tell it all.
    Living with his parents for now to save money on rent is prudent if you ask me....Dude will be saving close to 700k-1m a year especially since you are not even around to play wife in his own house.

    You mentioned the fact that you think he is too fine and feels that is the reason women hang around him. When did being handsome become a crime? LOL. You are not just into this dude babe,as long as you have not established a judge him harshly.

    Maybe the matchmaking wasn't just meant to be. We must not settle with everybody that we get hooked up to.

    Listen,you are beautiful.
    Your past does not dictate your future.
    It is not your fault bad things happened to you.
    It is okay to talk to your Mom about things you bottle up.
    No one has the right to make you sad,no one holds your happiness.
    You are responsible for yourself.

    Second poster
    You don't have to sleep with that man cos he wants you to.
    He is trying to bully you into having sex with him.
    Don't listen when he says he finds you too attractive and must have your body NOW.
    Don't have sex with him because you want to prove that you love him.

    If he causes you pains because of his wanton desires,he is insensitive.
    If he is insensitive to your feelings barely a month after making your relationship official....Pause and Think.
    Is he really The One?

    1. The reason I love you helplessly.

    2. Hahahahahha
      Ollie,shebi I don drop this "epistle" before my infamous feature. Choi!
      Love you too dear.

  53. Poster1 is really confused and even got me confused in the process
    Afii I'm beautiful na
    He doesn't compliment me
    He thinks he's more beautiful than me
    Oh pulease sister

  54. I agree with Stella on poster 1,you need to sit yourself down n really decide what u want.
    Poster 2,pls don't call that guy,he would eventually come begging and if he doesn't,dust your feet,raise your head up high n walk like nothing happened,forgerrhim

  55. Poster 2 let him jawe!guys like that jst want the plate after that they will fly like bird and still want to take advantage when necessary,i've gone through such in the past and later they will bck telling how they find good wife material in you. Omo I dey rub the sweet shit for their face.

  56. Poster 2:Even if you have sex with him, he will still leave you so forget him

  57. Poster one , u wear the shoe, u know where it hurts I like to be complimented too if he doesn't compliment u and he is childish leave him for the other dude, but believe certain that the other guy is mr right
    Poster 2, how can u be this gullible? Just one month relationship dude is already dissing u, he nor gree pick ur calls for three days and u want to call him back? Wait ure a Yoruba girl he is Igbo have u thought abt the ethical difference sef? I dey shame for u ooooo

  58. Poster 1 - I believe the choice of who to marry is yours NOT YOUR PARENTS'/FRIENDS'/WELL WISHERS', yet I advice you to deal with somethings about your past/values.
    Then, you must pray and ask for God's guidance in this issue - it's a lifetime affair that should not be toyed with. All the best.

    Poster 2 - you are childish please. You are likely lusting after this guy as well, else, let him go, he has made it clear to you that HE ONLY WANTS TO FORNICATE.

  59. I need help and advice pls from mature minds.

    I love hubby so much but don't feel anything intimate for him and it breaks his heart and mine too. I'm in tears right now cos marriage is less than a yr. When i read WNB it makes me smile n hope for intimacy wt hubby cos my wedding night was a disaster.. No sex for that week. We communicate a lot,gist,we're like minded, we hang out together. like every other aspect Is complete except intimacy. I love his company but can't stand his touch or rather i don't feel anything. Is it bcos i got married as a Virgin and haven't experienced such before hence I'm not used to such things? Or before I married I'm used to being on my own wt no unnecessary intimacy from guys? Or I was expecting too much from hubby bcos I looked forward to a pleasurable first time? I don't know.
    How do I build intimacy wt hubby? He's a good man, hardworking, ambitious, caring, puts my needs first and is very understanding. I wanna be a better wife n fulfil his intimate n sexual needs.
    Stella pls post this.. From a sad wife that wants to save her marriage and make hubby happy.

    1. Anon 16:49 Please ggeerraarrahhiiee

    2. Oh dear, I feel really sad for you and I don't know how to advice you. Have you tried talking it out with him?

    3. Maybe you are not attracted to him sexually.

    4. James and why should anon 16:49 get out?

  60. Poster one, court the second guy well and then make your decision. No one knows exactly which decision will favour you, so critically analyse the two men. Your decision shouldn't be based on family ties or caring attitude but on what YOU desire for yourself. You alone know the trauma you have passed through in life and why it is important when it comes to choosing your partner.

    Poster two, do what you think is best. If at 24, you do not know your worth, then I wonder when you will

  61. @ Stella I totally disagree with you on your advice to Poster 1...are u encouraging her to follow the narcasstic guy or you are being sarcastic..that guy is very immature abeg and she doesn't deserve him and yes I have an issue with a guy still living with his parents , he is not mature abeg..prayerful and proud @ Poster 1 there is no need adding qualities that do not match up at all, pls stop defending him

    @ poster 2 you have a whole life ahead of you @ 24 stop causing headache for yourself concerning a fuckboy..u deserve better pls ''unto the next one'' ** in Jay-z's voice**

  62. my dear walk away with your head high and ur heart filled with joy and i assure you that man would come back begging, he is just playing with your mind, once you give in, he wld stil run away for another reason. men are hunters in nature and they cherish the meat they have caught yet, so keep him chasing and keep ur legs shut till marriage if thats your decisiion, trust me, some years down the line after you must have gotten married, you would be very happy about this decision.

  63. poster2, plss dont fall 4 it........ started dating a guy av known since 2010 this yr may. tho we'v been frnds b4 now. i calld him a liar coz i saw a text one onyi girl whom he claimed he had nothing with bt always calls him sent requesting 4 a romantic text a got pissed n stopped calling me after dat, just barely 2months. dont fall 4 it dey r all liars, dont let it affect u jor

  64. @ Poster1,my dear I get where u are coming from but u are ur problem,haha u really need a man to make u feel beautiful huh?U've gat insecurity issues boo..he is fine and praises himself ehen and that's coz he is confident about his looks,he stays with his parents,are they complaining,I believe staying with them keeps him in check tho, so the one u are with worships the ground u walk on right? How long will he keep up with that charade before u see his true color? Pls be truthful u already started cheating before u broke off the r/ship
    @Poster2, u are not in love but in lust or obsessed,so u want to beg him to date u and thereby drop ur standard for him huh??? Nne take a bow,let the nigga go biko.

  65. Poster one, I think I know you and understand everything you just said now, but if you want my kind advise J has waited a long for you, he loves and adore you, am surprise you feel he does not know you are beautiful but he does and sing your praises all the time, you are the reason he has not gotten an accomodation, his answer is his first apartment want to be with his wife, hmmmmm I will want you to have a rethink but I bet you is a great guy because I have known him way back and has a good friend of my hubby, don't ask who I am I know is name is Julius.

  66. Poster one i think you should go back to the first guy, open up to him your past experience, this way, he can help you with the healing process. You need to let go of the past and embrase the future. You are also having doubts about him because you have another option. Trust me tou will make it work if he is your only option .

    Poster two be thankful you did not let him sleep with you....i mean you guys have dated for just a month and he is asking for sex and he broke up with you because you won't give him. For him, it's all about the sex. Divert all the live you have for him to just yourself and be happy.

  67. @Anon 4.45pm....You didn't say how old you are but I don't think marrying as a virgin is your problem. There are some virgins that enjoyed intimacy before marriage. There are other things that you have to look at - your growing up....ur family upbringing/training....ur witness(es) to sex/love-making among couples, et al.

    I may be wrong to conclude that you are very conservative - so you need to put an effort to love and cherish your hubby by laying your body loose to him. I don't really know how to explain this to you but the ball is on your court.


  68. Poster1: He's prayerful but he gives head. Hmmmm, there is God oo. Anyway, let your past remain in the past and focus on your present.
    Poster 2:You dn't have a man yet. The right one will come at God's appointed time. Ex the guy abeg.

  69. Poster one, i think i known you and this chronicle is very familiar, but let me start by advising you that you are making a big mistake for leaving a man who loves and adores you, am surprise you are saying he does not completement your beauty or feels he his more handsome then you, that is not true, he loves and his proud of having you, do you know what that guy has given up to wait for you, for him still staying with his parent, i remember vividly he wanted to get a place after he propose to you, but you brought up the isseu of your master and he decided to wait until you are back and marriage plans is on the way, would you prefer him renting an accommodation and staying all alone and you complain he has woman friends, no dobt he does has female friends that his because he is open minded and friendly, J (Julius) his a nice guy, i have known him for ages and married to his friend who is the most amazing husband anyone can have, i known his plans and love he has for you, is a pity you are leaving him for another guy, because his family treasure and love you, afterall una people like to marry una self.

    Think well my sister and may God lead you to do the right thing.

  70. All of a sudden all these chronicle tellers aint based in naija again. na always abroad abroad.

  71. Poster 1 u claim your husband to be is too aware that he is a fine boy..take a look at yourself and the things u said "I know I'm pretty. I'm light skinned and bla bla bla" I beg go siddon for gutter

  72. @ poster1 I would advice u to marry some1 dat loves u more than marrying some1 u love more. Work on ur self esteem and ask for divne guardiance from God so that u make the right choice. @ poster2 sa ere kaba kaba from that dude, he does not love u, gbam take it or leave it. Its ur choice.

  73. Mimi....#inyhurface#2 August 2016 at 20:30

    @poster 1 Abeg send me his phone number, email, house address and church sef . Let me roast him for myself, as u don't now like good thing ..u are throwing tall fine man ..In this age of bot bellied men ..mbok am waiting

    1. Bill come and take , in this buharis regime u want her to settle for a chewing man, who hasn't attained much and still lives with parents wtf. Nne pls follow ur heart I pick guy no 2 for u. Forced love don't last men. Even with all you have been through, u deserve better

  74. Madam Stella, na you Sabi..! Relationship is not for kids and hey this isn't a game, OK! It's for real. Everyone has the right to decide what kind of person they want to be with.. I will whole heartedly leave and blank a new acquaintance for the same reasons. Like why will I have to be with you for a month without sex? What do you want me to do? Mastubate and turn it to an addiction or run mad? Inu kwa..! Pls pls pls ooo it's an agreement, everyone should be bold enough to lay there cards on the table and reach a compromise. If you try and fail, pick yourself up and move on to another "acknowledge growth" until you find your best match. Life isn't that hard abeg.. Sex is an important part of a mans life especially any man that works hard. Why pretend when you know that even if it takes 10mknths, a man that will run, will run. Bless up everyone #SayChssss

  75. Poster2.if he loves you he won't make sex a priority. It's better you let him be and if he truly loves you bt only being uncertain then he will cum back.

  76. @ poster 2,if he truly loves you he won't make sex the bed rock of your relationship.

  77. Poster 1,discover yourself first before people will discover you
    Poster 2,you better fall out of love I, it is clearly written, this guy no like you see e just web collect,have you not noticed that guys wet one marry set wait,Joseph waited for Rachael for 14years biko!

  78. Abeg na night we dey, I no get tym 2 type long comment. Jus read wetin ppl don talk, do d arithmetic and finally giv yourselves brain, madam poster one n two. Abeg, make I give my pikin bwess suck. #idropmygoldenpen#

  79. Poster 1 , Pray to God for guidiance ko!


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