Stella Dimoko Five Unusual Things About Lagos...


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Saturday, July 22, 2017

Five Unusual Things About Lagos...

Lagos is a bustling state in the south western region of Nigeria. It’s a popular state in the country and widely known as the ‘city of hustlers’, the ‘city of action’ or more formally as the ‘center of excellence’. 

Lagos is the go-to state for a lot of Nigerians to make their lofty dreams come true, but as exciting as the state is, there are a couple of unusual things about it.

The Rush to Board a Bus

Especially during the early morning rush on most weekdays, the struggle of Lagosians to board a public bus is one usual thing that might be quite difficult to comprehend. The rush presents itself as a war-like scenario with people ready to engage in a fierce battle with one another for a coveted seat in the bus, regardless of the collateral damage. Some of these people don’t even mind risking their own lives or physical well being as they are quick to jump in front of moving buses in the process of the struggle.

The Consequence of Change Scarcity

Lagos is one of the few places, especially when boarding buses, that you have to be very mindful of the value of the currency you are carrying. You might have more than enough money to cover your transport expenses, but if the value is too high it can attract the same insult and aggression that not having enough money might attract. It is indeed strange. The best thing is to do what you can to have the exact currency value you need for your transport expenses or something relatively near it. The bus conductors that collect these transport fares can get unrealistically aggressive if that’s not the case.

The Driving

It seems most drivers that ply Lagos roads are auditioning for some kind of African Fast and Furious spin-off because their unreasonable, illogical and sometimes straight up dangerous approach to driving remains a marvel to many. There is a popular and widely believed saying that ‘once you can drive successfully in Lagos, you can drive anywhere’; and there is nothing closer to the truth than this saying.

The Professional Beggars

Lagos doesn’t have conventional beggars, there seems to be beggars of all types and forms roaming the Lagos streets. From the well-dressed phonetic speaking young man that will walk up to you with tales of being stranded, to the scruffy looking woman that frequents the same spot for over a year begging for a dying child on admission in the hospital, you’ll soon realize that Lagos has it all. Sometimes, it seems like these ‘professional’ beggars disregard the fact that God has graciously given us all common sense and we all can make use of this common sense to put two and two together and realize when certain things about their emotional and heart-wrenching tales don’t check out.

The Law Enforcement Agents

Well, the law enforcement agents are not actually the unusual ones but their attitudes most definitely are. Law enforcement agents readily board public vehicles without paying, turning a blind eye to the traffic rules broken by these drivers. On alighting from the bus a few moment later, the same law enforcement agents are seen zealously booking other public vehicle drivers for breaking the same traffic rules they just turned a blind eye to. The police, army, navy, air force, Man O War and LASTMA are all beneficiaries of this free transport.

By Damilola Ojo

*Do you know any Unusual thing about Lagos?


  1. Lol,true that!#confamlasgidibabe

  2. These are so true
    Lasgidi is bae despite allπŸ’ƒ

  3. I know a lot which includes some of the points already stated. In Lagos, most people who own cars don't drive to work except for weekends. It's in Lagos you'd see people paying huge rents and have no parking space, you'd park outside. Mostly Yaba, Surulere etc.
    It's in Lagos you'd wake up 5am to get to work before 8am when the distance on a good day is barely up to an hour.
    It's in Lagos, you'd see soldiers clearing traffic so their boss can pass. They'd use their sirens to pollute the air despite the rules made.
    Lagos with poor drainage system. A fixed road today is a bigger pothole tomorrow.
    Lagos, where people will board a bus and be asking you to help pay their transport because they used their last money to get to that point. Same Lagos, you'd see a young girl begging for money to buy jamb form when same jamb was written few weeks back.
    You'd also see someone driving a Range Rover but squatting but his snaps are lit every Friday popping bottles in clubs.
    Lagos stories cannot finish.

    1. Doppel you are so on point,only in lagos you find these things and even more. Even when rushing to board a bus,someone could pick your pocket. Crazy town full of intelligent hustlers.

  4. The stealing

    They will 'thief' your stuff and you will start drawing line like you are not sure again.
    Lost my phone last two weeks, chai e be me like film. I started describing to the people around me how I brought it out to answer call, finished answering calls, put it back in my bag, zipped my bag, dropped it. Only for me to want to make a call and started looking for the phone I sanely put inside my bag like a lunatic. LMAO
    Anyway the person that stole it will suffer before unlocking it. The money she (I know it's a lady) will spend unlocking it should have bought her a small android but mba, she wants to steal mine. When she finally unlocks it, she will see bank statements and wished she had asked for money instead.
    The new phone I bought, the person that will steal will hear nwiiiii because to restart will be war. Lagos is the hardest city to live in walahi

    1. Honestly @ your last statement. I once said I can't live in any state aside Lagos but now the music has changed abeg. I must leave abeg.

    2. πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚@Drawing line.

    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚so funny

  5. Yes, that is Lag for you. We dey enjoy am like dat shaaa.

  6. One usual thing about Lagos is that is a known city for mosquitoes
    Nothing good about it
    Full of witches and wizard
    You can testify from their comment here bitter people
    Except few of us who don't allow Lagos get to us
    Lagosians are razz with stinking armpits
    Lagosians are full of men with big toes the size of gorilla
    Lagos women don't wear pant with their watery ikebe with layers of shits stacked in quantum theories
    Lagosians have money but mostly aggressive
    Give me Abuja I will take you to mama
    This one Rueben Abati have not called me this morning
    Hope am safe

    1. Lol,Ichoptas, is that the Lagos you know. What makes you think women in Lagos don't wear pants, how about Abuja women or Ph or even in other cites. Well I'm sure you've seen a lot. We sure do wear pants in Lagos and use our heads alot.

    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ u killed me...πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚big toes like gorilla

  7. Running when you see someone else running without knowing the root cause or what is chasing him.
    Aggression of the agbero on drivers and conductor and the way they also charge bact at them.
    The carzy one with change that will make the conductor join you to a stranger that one of you will eventually leave the change in annoyance or buy unworthy item with it.
    So many jare, Lagos is fun and I miss my Lagos.

  8. The rush for bus is something else

  9. The fast and furious driving is soo on point...came to Lagos for somethings I was doing with hubby and I was, where are all this people rushing to

    1. Always rushing to meet up with time,lol.

  10. Half of the people rushing to enter the bus don't have anywhere to go, they just came to pick pockets.

  11. Insecurity is another bigggg issue.

    You can't leave your home before 6am (which is necessary if you work on the island and you live on the mainland) to go board buses else hoodlums might attack you with dangerous objects just to snatch your bag, phones et al. Very terrible something.

  12. The lesbians...

    1. Lol
      Dat wan dey everywhere jare!

    2. That's Port harcourt not Lagos

    3. Warri is worst in d@ respect, after 6pm u cnt go out anyhow

  13. You'll surely be cheated most times in lag especially if you don't speak/understand Yoruba.chai had a terrible experience when i came to Lagos.i can never forget lol

  14. U forgot about the conductors asking 2 or more passengers probably going different ways to sort out their change ish.NSG calls it marriage officiated by bus conductors

    1. Allah d@ one sef de, lag is so difficult but it's still my beloved city

  15. Lagos is another country on its own, wenever im returning home from school at the end of a semester, the moment the bus stops at oshodi heritage park, my whole body system will change, i will hold my bag tighter, start walking faster, instantly become aggressive...etc, i cnt help it, its like wenever i step into lag, i become someone else. My pidgin will just bam... lagos has a spirit of its own.. i love lagos all the same bt im still considering returning there after my graduation in November...

    1. You get it right.
      Always have the same feeling when I was in school.
      Immediately I come down from the bus at Ojota, my whole system changes.

    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚just bam...e don tey wey I hear that slang

  16. Lagos where u buy land and u would pay omonile before u start building,as u build,and when u are about completing the structure.

  17. @poster......Well Said.
    But I still like my Lagos like dat.
    Eko on Baje ooo!

  18. #It's crazy how quickly people can forget about you, until they want something from you*

  19. How can we not talk about The people. The people in Lagos. A very unique mix. Found nowhere else.

    The fake life. Oh God! Lagos is full of fake people men and women, boys and girls, parents and children. People trying to keep up.

    Lagos is the only place where packaging seems more important than savings/investments. A well packaged broke guy will be more respected than a non-packaged rich guy.

    The only place where people are very secretive about almost everything. So dont bother trying to find the missing puzzle. They either lie or attribute everything to God.
    'Youve gone three shades lighter. What do you use?'
    'My sister is just God oh, five litres of water everyday and veggies'
    'How did you get this new job?'
    'Its just God I can't even explain'

    Your friend's husband and your husband work in the same place earning 150k. But in one year you built a house in a choice area. You know it's not the salary alone, but just dont ask her. 'Its God's favour'

    Everyone seems to have a foreign accent in Lagos gatherings. Even that your friend you did NYSC with you was coming from the deepest part of Kuma Hills. She's now the daughter of a 'silent billionaire'.

    Lagos is the place where an agbero can stick to his skill and be a landlord, still doing agbero at the park until he's in his 60s. Iya 'ranti' selling rice at the busstop still managed to send her 2 children to school in UK. Don't try to understand it cos you really won't.

    1. You're point. Lagos girls are so secretive.

    2. Very correct,Chikito. Lagos is a place where people keep saying "ilu le",yet they are making it! Secrecy!

    3. Lmao@The agbero.. For real?πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜³

    4. @iphie dearie for real Oh! I used to have two buses. Leave that thing. Those motor parks are a stratified kingdom on their own. Those bus drivers and agberos? They own fleets of buses and the pay comes in daily. Forget their dirty smelly looks they have millions πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ why do you think prostitutes love them? I know how much i was was entering my account everyday after driver collects his share. So imagine how much a driver who owns a bus makes? Two or three?? He don be Landlord tay tay

    5. *They built a house in a choice area
      *you know was coming from the deepest part of Kuma Hills

    6. Are they same as Omo ale? Or they double?πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

    7. chikito I just googled koma hills hahahahaha omo yi funny gaaaan

  20. Many unusual things about Lagos,its in Lagos a preacher will start service, do praise and worship,choruses, sermon,then bring out envelopes ✉ for offeringπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ and use that same offering for his tfareπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜ƒ.

    Same Lagos you will see bergers pretending to be cripple whereas he can walk smarter than You😁😁

    Lagos is where you will see many people waiting at the bus stop to board and before you know it,your valuables are gone.

    Where you purchase land and the same person who sold the land comes claiming it again because you didnt built on it on time.

    Lagos where conductor Will marry two people together for change and you start following each other very early in the morningπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚,this one makes me go crazy.

  21. I just want to leave Lagos by all means,the stress is killing.

  22. Before I went to Lagos ever, My Dad already Regaled us with stories about how that place is a no man's land and you can disappear off a busy road.🀣🀣🀣🀣 I'm sure he was trying to scare us into not going to visit school mates from Uni.

    Well,I finally went with my friends from school.
    Firstly I hugged my bag to my 'shest' throughout my trip

    Secondly I realised Lagos people do not own umbrellasπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Especially the ones that use public transport. A lot of Hustle and bustle. Under the rain n all.

    The Cab drivers do not have patience ooh. You do anyhow.. they will cuss you anyhow. I was always apologizing. Sorry Sir. Stop me there Sir. No Sir. Who sigh? They were always angry.

    Lastly.. Hopping buses!!!
    My friends said I can't be in Lagos without experiencing the Bus rides.
    Thats how we headed out to the road to catch one to our destination.
    We were all standing ooh... waiting for the bus.

    Me, a small town girl was 'jejely' waiting for a bus to pull over,ask us where we were going...
    conductor makes way for us to sashay in. Sit properly and move.

    Never happened!!! I was still standing, waiting for all of thatπŸ‘† to happen when I realised I was alone.
    I looked up and my friends were hanging on to the bus that just sped towards us, laughing and pointing🀣🀣🀣🀣
    The driver grudgingly stopped while I scurried towards the bus.. I was still trying to find a seat and settle in when the driver......Zoomed off!
    Lagos WahalaπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ
    Still Gotta love that city that never sleeps.

    1. OMGπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ This one funny Abeg!

    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I can't hold it anymore

    3. @iphie deary i almost pee in my pants listening to your i am not sure if i can survive in such a city.i really want to experience life in lagos i have the intention of visiting not staying there permanently

  23. Cyprian Ekwensi's book Jagua Nana painted a picture of Lagos in my head then which I didn't like. And so I visited and my fears were confirmed.
    The day I came into lagos, I witnessed an accident. A car was on it belly i don't know how it happened obviously it wasn't hit neither did it hit any other car, possibly over speeding, the occupants were still alive and shouting for help but people were afraid to go close because the fuel tank got bursted on impact and the fuel was all over the place and the sun was up very hot that day.blood was seeping out of the drivers side and the guy was not moving don't know if he was dead or unconscious. Our driver had to zoom past fast, the car was like a ticking was horrible. Then we got to a place and the person I was with said that's the way to Ikeja omo see traffic! Thousands of cars stuck in one place.
    The day I was leaving I witnessed another accident! A woman was hit trying to cross the road and was hit by a truck the thing cut her into two and she died there her bag scattered everywhere they said she was going to work .It was the most graphic thing I've ever witnessed up close. I just thanked God I was leaving in one piece.
    I know some people who wouldn't trade life in Lagos for anything but me I cannot oh its too busy and everyone is always in a hurry. Abuja is saner.

    1. Ewww. How did you forget these experiences? Accidents here and there.

  24. These stories are now making me scared of coming to Lagos ooo. Hia!

    1. Hahahahah
      Don't be scared.
      Mine was a long time ago.
      I eventually returned severally with a bang!
      Ajipako side activated.
      Once a cab man wants to intimidate me.. I start chanting. Owa owa owa🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣
      I'm sure they saw through the act. Lol

    2. Gawd all dis for my lagos*smiles*

  25. If u don't have someone stable in Lagos i.e. Comfortable et al better don't near here if not u willl regret it!.... Will I trade Lasgidi for another? Well nt in this life!!!!

    Kelvin Dat Edo Boi (Stellz Cousin)

  26. Lagos is the only place where, those with two legs. cant run faster than the criples who are sitting on a wheel chair. Remeber years back wen i was still very small there was a bomb blast around oshodi down to mile2 side. And that bombblast took a lots of life, so many persons die in the cana. But i can never forget how a criple immediatly left his wheel chair and run for his dear life.


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