Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Mama Tee Series -When Your Partner Insists On Knowing How Much You Earn..

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Friday, December 15, 2017

Mama Tee Series -When Your Partner Insists On Knowing How Much You Earn..

Is it right for your partner to know how much you earn?
I once had a boyfriend who insisted on knowing my take-home pay or we call it quits.





This my ex, let's call him Dave, he worked in an NGO while I was still working at the hotel but as a Supervisor by then.


When we newly started, he expressed his displeasure for my hotel job but in trying to calm him down, I told him the pay was ok and that I also made money on a daily basis. He asked how much I was being paid and I told him. He asked if I had any on-going project that takes the extra cash (first alert) I told him I was only seeing my younger ones through school. I asked about his own job too , he said his salary was ok but not fixed and that it comes according to how much the organisation got from donations. Lols.


This guy would call me in the middle of the month to borrow money, I would give him. He won't pay back. I would visit him weekends and on my way to his place I would buy fruits, drinks and some foodstuff. I would cook and serve the drinks I bought including wines from my hotel. When leaving, he would drop me and squeeze N1000 note in my palm or drop it in my bag. Asides that, he never bought N20 groundnut for me. Weekends, he wouldn't want us to go out, he would say he needed to rest.


Oh God! I was like 'this one na one chance relationship' but a friend told me he would change as time goes on, he might be testing me.


Well, six months on, no changes. I was tired of playing mumu. I started plotting my exit.

I got a better job in a company and quit my hotel job. Right from the first interview, uncle Dave was hammering on the pay.

'How much did you negotiate with them?'
'How much is in your appointment letter?'
'I know the standard pay for your position, I don't want them to cheat you'.
All the while I was just 'yimu'ing'. If I hear. I told him they said they would put me on 3months probation before giving me appointment letter and that the salary too was not fixed yet but within a certain range. Lols.
First month alert entered, I deleted it sharp sharp.
Few days later, we met and he went:

Dave: Baby, have those people paid you?

Me: yes, since last week, its almost finished sef.

Dave: let me see the alert

Me: they don't do banks with new staff, they gave us envelopes

Dave: how much? I need to know that they are not just using you (yimu)

Me: I can't even remember, but its better than the hotel's own.

Dave: (face changes) when you get home, search for the envelope and check it, they usually write the amount on it. Hahahahahahahahahaha

Me: they didn't write the amount on it, just my name

Dave: (angrily) look, if you can't be free enough to tell me how much you earn, then forget this relationship, it's not like I want to collect it from you, I only want to guide you. See how you are playing me like I'm a fool. How much do you earn? Is it up to what I use for recharge cards in a month?

He went on and on.

I just picked my things and left his place. He later called several times, I just deleted him and that was the end of the 'situationship'. Hahahahahaha
Did I do wrong by leaving? Should I have told him my monthly pay?


Mama Tee

53 comments:

  1. hahahahaha very bad for a man to be asking a woman how much she earns. Even if you are husband, it is not your business.

    Your money is our money. My money is my money shikena

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. e: (angrily) look, if you can't be free enough to tell me how much you earn, then forget this relationship, it's not like I want to collect it from you, I only want to guide you. See how you are playing me like I'm a fool. How much do you earn? Is it up to what I use for recharge cards in a month?



      Hahahha very mumu man. Asking if the money u earn is up to his recharge cards in a month. If it isnt up to then why did he want to die on top. U even tried sef. A whole six months u did mumu for him. Me one day I no even fit especially for person wey e hand tight pass aka gum.

      Delete
  2. No no no no no no no no no no! Don't Ever!Only four people should know how much you earn; your accountant, your employer, yourself and your God. That's why I believe in pre-nuptial agreements; whats yours is yours and whats mine is mine.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So u mean say you run mumu race for 6 long months?
    Come your name must be patience.
    Lol
    Love your story, u get sense

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear a whole six months. Like "akanbilivit"
      Some women dey try.

      Delete
  4. Look @ the long throat. Beggerdorf like him. Glad you quit the relationship, that's some desperate move if you ask me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beggerdorf, lol
      How can a man I'm dating be borrowing my money? Impossible

      Delete
  5. lols
    I laughed reading this. I think some men want to know how much you earn in order to maintain their own pride as a man. They would be satisfied knowing you don't earn more than them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel like punching the guy..criminal mind.


      DontQuoteMe™

      Delete
  6. When I get a job, I won't tell any man my salary amount never again. Some men are plain wicked. I can never forget my experience.
    Nice write-up Mama tee, more strength to your fingers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please codedly tell us. Let us learn.

      Delete
  7. This is what we call endtime boyfriend. Lols @ I want to guide you. No be only guide, it's guild. Thank God you walked away. If any woman end up marrying such a man, she will be the one carrying all th responsibilities in the house.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're on point! He's an irresponsible he-goat. He can't spend his money but enjoys borrowing from a woman. Him wife don enter one chance!

      Delete
  8. I once had a CIA & FBI gf that year. She wanted to know how much was my take home pay. I think she did all that to know if I was indeed financially stable for marriage or not. So I had a friend of mine who I call the master forger forge a pay slip as well as bank alert sent to my mail(I hate alerts on my phone) that depicted quarter the amount I receive as well as 10% of my actual account balance. So Mama Tee, no be only guys dey do monitoring spirit ontop salary. Lol. But then na wa for that your ex-boyfriend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So when ur gf sae the 10% what did she do?

      Finish the gist naw.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous 16:34 you too like gist.

      Delete
  9. hmmmmmm..some men eh awoof and over sense

    ReplyDelete
  10. End time boyfriends and horsebands every where!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hmm stella it's as if you read my mind. My husband asked me what I earn this morning.I don't feel comfortable telling him. I borrowed him money 150k to pay house rent in the one room he was staying when we got married. This year again he said we will move to a one bedroom apartment but he does not have money I don't want to bring money again for rent it's tiring. Nothing seems to be moving for him. He said I have to pick something to be doing in the house when the kids start coming. He said I will be in charge of feeding. I refused o. Even when he brings money for food i still augument. But for him not to be dropping money for food at all is impossible. He said o should pick either house rent , children's school fees or feeding. Which one is better. To me none is good. I'm his helper. Blog visitors pls tell me how a woman can contribute to a house hold without draining her resources. These men are not loyal one bit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For how long? Marriage is for eternity dear. If I where you,i will agree on I take quarter to help by start serious saving behind his back.
      Learn how to say NO. Such man can sap energy and leave you completely drained. If you must stay, learn to save. And take quarter or just school fees. You will determine how he school your children will go but buying food as I am doing now is a whole lot.

      Man these days are OBIAGELIS while they have turned women to OKPATAKU.
      MAY GOD HELP US.

      Delete
    2. one chance! biko enjoy the ride.

      Delete
    3. My dear, if you are going to pick, please ehn don't pick feeding!
      Feeding consumes 60% of total expense.
      But that your hubby is brutal o. Tufiakwa!!

      Delete
    4. You are stupid. So you don’t want to contribute to your home? Nothing bad in your husbands suggestion. After all, it’s your home. You better not follow all the lies being spewed here by internet lions who are pussy cats at home and the breadwinners of their house. Your husband will obviously take care of the majority expenses like rent, school fees, light and others. What is so bad in taking care of feeding for your own family? You are a stupid woman. Keep following bad advice.

      Delete
    5. Pls dont pick feeding...pls don't u will regret it

      Delete
    6. Please pick school fees but didn't you guys date abi he form good guy throughout?

      Delete
    7. No way o. People are going through a lot o. I don't even know what to say

      Delete
    8. It is well. I think feeding is better o. If you buy foodstuff at once. Target cheap market and buy in bulk.

      Delete
    9. Pls my dear pick feeding. If you pick other things,you will still be adding your money to feeding. But if you pick feedibg
      And he asks you to com and join money for house rent or school fees or any other thing, you will tell him you already have your hands full with feeding, and that things are so expensive.

      Delete
  12. It's right for your partner to know how much you earn but not the kind of man in that story. Am a man and I always say both men and women are guilty of things pertaining to finance and responsibilities in relationships these days. And that's why a lot of marriages don't work. When two people meet the size each other up and take note of little details but that's not the case these days. All they see is fake things...on the part of the guys it's fake phones, fake clothes,fake cars,fake apartments and fake attitude cause most things these guys flaunt they can afford and they talk big and women with fake lashes,fake hair,fake Boobs, fake arse, fake accent, fake attitude and a disgusting gold digging attitude to it. When two people are really and have genuine reasons for coming together they can easily share information and help each other grow. A lot of guys hide what they earn cause the are living a fake life the know they can't afford and also talk big throwing million naira deals that don't exist in the air. Good babes who knows how much their boyfriend makes and see how real he is in succeeding will help support and grow their man. And won't put unnecessary demands on them financially. Women are very prudent except those who use their pussy as their professional careers. And women too will easily tell their men how much they earn once the know he is just concerned about support and building their career. So I feel it's necessary for one to know what they earn that's if they are not greedy gold diggers like a whole lot of people are these days like the lazy man in the story narrated who wants to live off his girlfriend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I quite agree. It all depends on the kind of person you are married to/in a relationship with. My husband and I are very open with each other as regards finances.He knows how much I earn and vice versa. I step in when he's down and life goes on.

      Delete
  13. My man knows how much i make but that does nt stop him from giving me when i ask.even when he is broke and i help out, he pays back almost double what i spent on him. Wonderful husband man i have.my priceless gem!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm happy for u dear. My man is the same. It's a blessing o. I'm grateful

      Delete
  14. Hahha the guy nah longer throat o, I just it when people dnt mind their biz shaaa...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Mama Tee you tried o, a whole six months of feeding a man...Naaa am not that patient plus it's not that he doesn't have he's just a stingy guy.
    You try well oo πŸ˜•πŸ˜•πŸ˜•πŸ˜•

    LEPπŸ˜›

    ReplyDelete
  16. Na Wa for your ex o. How can u borrow money and not return

    ReplyDelete
  17. This is laughable. Like seriously you put up with him for six whole months? I can't deal meen

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is laughable. Like seriously you put up with him for six whole months? I can't deal meen

    ReplyDelete
  19. This is laughable. Like seriously you put up with him for six whole months? I can't deal meen

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hahaha....lol.
    Nice one mama Tee.
    See him forming action man on top another man pikin salary.
    Cant stop laughing πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  21. 14:27, a good man you have there. That is how a husband should be not the type mentioned up there and the one that showed me pepper.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Disclaimer: Please try this with a responsible man o, not a leech.
    My hisband knows my salary. Infact I earn more than him. But the guy is a responsible fellow. Gives me stuff that befits what he earns. I put no pressure on him. I help out at the home front. Yes I believe in sharing responsibilities. One man cannot do everything except he is rich enough. Sometimes show that you are responsible and take initiatives at the home front. And yes this is the feminism I stand for.

    ReplyDelete
  23. We have two accounts and both are in our names. Every investments are in both our names.

    If he spends up to a certain limit, it hits my phone and vice versa. We are cool.

    ReplyDelete
  24. When one says "spouse" one is talking about "life partner"; husband or wife. If one has chosen above (all men or) ladies to live with "this fellow' as a life partner in love; then love is all about sharing. When one say "my husband's money" or "my money" is it not an anomaly? when one shares everything intimate (including sex); if they can't have funds together; where is the oneness? Hasn't the aim of marriage been defeated? The issue of oneness is in sharing everything. The excuses many give is "I don't trust her to know how much I earn or am worth". If one is a follower of Christ; who did Jesus give "his wallet"; was it not Judas? How much trust did Jesus have for Judas? These are some of the issues that intending spouses should define in courtship.
    On a personal note; my husband and I had a common "account" from the moment I accepted to marry him. He decided to put me in charge of every financial spending. He makes contributions and there is no issues about that. There is no account that we have had since marriage that bears one person's name and the mandate is "either to sign". WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT "HIS MONEY" "MY MONEY" hasn't the purpose of marriage been defeated?
    Finances usually breeds quarrel among couples and the taste of the pudding is in the eating. Married for more than a decade an NEVER ARGUED is our testimony by the grace of God. When there is concealment of finances, the lady makes demands, suspect the husband of keeping a concubine etc. But when the two are open to each other in the way described above; thee will be no room for mutual suspicion!

    A couple we know lived financially apart. The man is reasonably well to do but the wife dared not ask or "take his money". He gave her "handout" of money from time to time; monthly allowances etc. All his businesses were solely in his name. He took ill and his doctor gave him a damning health verdict and he had a surgery fixed. He knew that he may not come out of the theater alive. He quickly summoned his wife and took her to all his accounts and made it Joint and she could sign. Made his kids 'next of kin" in all the accounts and re-registered all his businesses with the wife's name inclusive. Even the financial aspect of the surgery and bills, the wife was in charge. He told her, "If I do not come out of the theater alive, sell all the exotic cars and keep just two" etc. IT WAS NO LONGER AN ISSUE OF THE WIFE TAKING "HIS MONEY"; THE WOMAN WAS IN CHARGE. He confessed certain misdeeds to the lady and they prayed together and he got into the theater. AFTER 9 HOURS OF SURGERY, the news came . . . he survived it! It was this singular experience that changed his attitude towards family finances as concerns his wife. She knew about every penny that dropped or left the "family business" as it became.

    Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." (Luke twelve vs. fifteen)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

      Delete
    2. Well saidπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘. In marriage there has to be full disclosure from both parties. How can the two of you work if you are not in agreement? Let's not deceive ourselves as women, It's give and take. A real man that sees the iota of contribution done by his wife will cherish it and make up for it one way or the other. If you want to be treated right, you have to do right. No man in this new age is a fool. The power of synergy is wonderful. And in hindsight you would only be able to achieve greater things togeda than individually.

      Delete
  25. Mama Tee...Thank God you left his sorry ass before he milk you dry...yeye dey smell

    ReplyDelete
  26. I dated a guy for 7 years. Hmmmmm, what my eyes saw plenty pass pepper. I really loved him so anything i had i felt was also for him.
    Chai love blinded my eyes ehen. The one that peppered me the most was that this guy never bought be as little as a pant while me i spent all on him. Even dates na my money o.
    I was young sha. When i started working, guy man even negotiated a part of my salary he will be collecting, savings be sent to his account, and complains when i spend outside transportation and daily feeding. Sometimes when i buy him gift he will say it is not quality enough and make faces. The money i have with him is surely in millions.
    I met a guy and on the first date, he bought me a gift, nice perfume. To me that was strange, this guy just wanted to please me all day, gave me the best treat ever and got me home in one piece. That day i forgot i had a boyfriend o. Did i forget to say that this my boyfriend can so fuck yet will not buy the condom, he will say i should buy it or no show. Marriage nkor, i was practically begging him. This new guy on the first date make me speak with his siblings on phone, in less than one month taken home to see his mama. I don suffer for this my boyfriend hand ooo. Oohhh now my ex . this one na story for another day. Thank you sdk for saving me from him. I learnt a lot from this house.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Please pick feeding as someone already said. Plan the meals according to your pocket. If you pick school fees or house rent or other bills, just know you will be argumenting the feeding money oh, I know from living with peeps and running errands. I was always adding my own money to whatever I was giving just to prepare a descent meal

    ReplyDelete
  28. I split finances with my husband. He pays rent, fees, services the cars, medicals while i pay the driver, nanny, lesson teacher, feeding, clothing and holidays abroad for the children. It works for us plus i earn a little bit more

    ReplyDelete

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