Stella Dimoko Six Reasons Why Many Newlyweds Are BROKE


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Friday, December 01, 2017

Six Reasons Why Many Newlyweds Are BROKE

Welcome to today’s world, where ‘’save the dates’’ are constant on our social media timelines.
This should be a must read for you,if you are about getting Married

A world where instagram and facebook popularity matters more than anything to most young people. We live in an era where luxury has been redefined to mean ‘’normal’’ and where the modest and moderate person is tagged as ‘’old fashioned’’. 

Our forefathers got married in a clearly different way and white weddings were not a requirement. Today, no matter how you decide to get married, without the fancy and luxurious white wedding/ reception, you are considered ‘’archaic’’. To many, it doesn’t matter how they get married but to quite a large number of others, the public image is everything. In an attempt to have that ‘’talk of the town’’ event, many young couples overlook the effects that having an over budget wedding can have on post-wedding life.

 In the end, we realize that many newlyweds are broke these days. After the wedding, life becomes difficult and even though they may not share these struggles publicly, the hustle is real.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail!

Call this the fundamental reason why many newlyweds are broke and you will not be far from being right. Life is all about planning. We always need to plan in order for us to have control over the things we want to achieve. Mostly, young couples who decide to get married do not plan carefully therefore everything takes them by storm. Accommodation, employment, feeding and all other basic stuff need to be in place to live a comfortable married life. Primarily, a regular source of income is needed if things are to run smoothly. 

Getting married without any of these in place only means that you will be left at the mercy of anything that life brings. There is nothing much worse than not being prepared for life after marriage. For men, it’s a little more complicated because instead of taking care of one person, now it becomes two and sooner than later three or more. You need a plan before you get married otherwise the financial pressures that comes with life after marriage may leave you broke.

 The effects of a financially handicapped family are devastating sometimes and occasionally even fatal.

The fingers are not equal

 This proverbial statement is often used comparatively and it definitely makes a lot of sense. The fact that your friend did A, B and C at her wedding doesn’t mean you should do same when you don’t have the means. You may not know where her funds came from or what he did to get that kind of wedding. Live within your means and spend what you can afford. 

You are better of comfortable in marriage than broke after the ‘’big wedding’’. Everyone can have a great taste but everyone has the same budget for it. Always ensure that you do not try to be someone else or do what others have done especially when you cannot afford it. Many young couples will spend millions on trying to beat what their friends or family may have done. The question remains, have weddings now become competitions? Your wedding was more glamorous than hers yet she is happier than you because she is financially stable. Food for thought.

No expectations mean no disappointments - This is a simple life principle that helps those who obey it. When you have mighty expectations about what things should look like, you often get disappointed when you don’t get it that way. ‘’My dream wedding should be like this’’ and ‘’ i have dreamt of this all my life’’ are some of the things many people say. They go all lengths to make it happen no matter the expense. Although it is good to dream, you need to manage your expectations and rather than leave everything to chance, know what to expect.

 This way, you don’t get disappointed if things don’t pun out your way. There is life after the wedding. Think about this, will you rather have the dream life after an ordinary wedding or a broke life after a dream wedding? Don’t expect too much or you may end up disappointed.

It’s never too late to marry

Family pressure, all your friends are married, you are past 30 and many other reasons are what causes many young people to force their way into marriage even when they are not ready for it. Even aside the financial implications, there comes with an unprepared marriage physical, emotional and psychological implications. It is never too late to marry and although it is great to get married early, you need to consider your financial position amid every other aspect of your life before making that decision. Family and friends may give loads of pressure which may lure you into caving in but remember, after the wedding you are alone in it. 

Be wise!

Is the fancy honeymoon necessary? -

 Who came up with the ‘’honeymoon’’ idea at all? For those who can afford it, it’s amazing! A time to actually really connect with your new partner. Spend quality time and enjoy all the intimacy that being married comes with. It’s the beginning of a life long journey and often finishes with memories to keep forever. Some take it easy and have a modest yet fun and lovely honeymoon. For several others these days, it has to be a fancy trip overseas. 

Destination Dubai, The Maldives, Turkey, South Africa, The Safari’s in East Africa or even Asia. The fancy 5 star hotels, desert tours and expensive living is fun and memorable yet financially very draining. If you have the means, why not? If you don’t, then better sit back and use that money to do something profitable to ensure that you don’t go broke right after that. It will be great to have these memories but for a lot of young couple these days, rather than build a life to enjoy memories forever, they just spend lavishly on the memories now and go broke for a long time. ‘’Na memories you go chop’’?

The debt factor - 

Finally, a very important topic. DEBTS! The most painful part of life is being in debt. To owe somebody money that you don’t have. The headache and the pressure of living life with a negative sign on your account is never a great feeling. Many young couple get married in debt and struggle over the next few months and years to settle these debts. It may take a long time to recover because after weddings come added on costs. For some, they even owe many of the wedding vendors which brings about embarrassing comments and social media posts. 

If you don’t have have the means, have a wedding with the vendors you can afford. Luxurious brands come with high costs. Be ready to pay for them if you want your wedding to be the talk of the town fancy dream wedding. However, no matter what you do, ensure that you do not owe after your wedding. Living in debts can ruin the harmony of your marriage.

Marriage is great and weddings have to be fun but don’t end up broke after marriage, it’s the worst experience ever! Happily ever after is far better than broke ever after. 

Credit : Bennet Otoo


  1. Educative and informative. Nice one.
    Personally I don't like fancy and expensive wedding, I prefer quiet wedding with few friends and family members and a small ceremony. Not because of money, but I'm just not the big party kind of person.

    Your comment will be visible after approval

  2. MonkeyNoFineTheTafiaMama1 December 2017 at 14:48

    Hummmmmmm i will live to read comments

  3. This is why I make it a point of duty to always come on this blog daily, useful and constructive posts. Honestly I have been burdened by some of these factors, this post has just unburdened me. Thank you. Now I know better




  5. Someone asked me this question this morning. If we went broke after wedding.

    We didn't go broke at all.

    We planned for the number of guest we could cater for and made it strictly by IV to avoid "mo gbo mo ya". It went well and there was enough to eat and drink. We didn't owe anyone after the wedding too.

    1. Were HV I been?
      Oooh sweet sis u are married?
      God bless ur home Darling.
      U will know no lack.
      U will enjoy ur marriage.
      I declare d hand of God upon ur home.

      So so happy for u.

  6. I wish I waited a little longer before getting married😰😰😰😰 Now I regret my actions
    This was what I sent to my then Bf turned husband.
    "I'm sorry for doing this but I really thought I should let you know how I feel.
    You're a good guy and have an amazing heart but I'm not sure I want to continue with this relationship. I feel it's better to tell you early so you can find someone else.

    I'm really sorry if I've wasted your time or led you on but I don't want to get married yet. I'm not financially, emotionally and psychologically ready to get married, have kids and take care of kids. It's not in my priority list right now. This might sound selfish and inconsiderate but I'm all about Me, my growth, my goals and happiness. I'm not excited about getting married or having kids, I'm not ready for that level of commitment yet.

    In fact, I've been having doubts, asking myself if this is really what I want to do at this stage in my life, been battling with this question for weeks but I've finally decided to do what's best for me that I won't regret.

    One of the worst mistakes one can make is, getting married to someone out of guilt because he/she doesn't want to hurt the other person's feelings, upset them or go back on a promise they previously made.
    I know the Vision about us has been confirmed several times but I'm more of a realist than a religious person. I'm honestly not ready and I don't want to be pressured into doing something I'm not ready for.

    I pray you find someone who is ready to settle down, and then fall in love with her, I'm sure God will approve it.

    I'll appreciate if you'll respect my decision and not stalk or bug me with questions about it.
    Thanks for your understanding
    Wish you best of luck."

    I was never ready but I succumbed to pressure. In my next life, I'll always follow my heart and never succumb to pressure again

    1. Hmmmmm.....same story with me. Yeah, I love my boys. But I wish I had said No that faithful day....and when I wanted to end it ...same pressure! Hmmm, now I feel like most of the the expenses of the family is on me!! He tries his best, but is not good enough for the kinda life I want for my self and my buys!!! Like, I didn't get enjoy being alone and enjoying my finances alone. #Goddeysha

  7. So the family is contributing money for a cousins wedding but I will not. It's annoying. Why pick wedding date when you are not ready. Are we to feed you after the wedding? This guy is just 28 years ooo. And the wife is just going for service. So why the rush

    1. Ooo my goodness, you are so funny😂😂 tell him you pay for the cow.

  8. Same goes for giving birth abroad. Give birth in US and come back to naija to suffer after baby is born. No plans what so ever for your baby after birth. It’s sad the competition out there to give birth in US

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. Baby go get "palee" first before they come back.

  9. If only they would listen and cut their coats according to their size.
    I once told someone that I prefer if he paid my bride price as tradition demandsand then go for my court wedding return home and the end.

    No party No bloody Aso Ebi, just me and my partner back home as lawful wedded couple without the trouble of party planning.

    I can't stand crowded spaces,party preparations most importantly I don't like the wholebeen in a noisy environment.

    So I told my friend and the next thing she did was to invite to her hunch for a deliverance service, telling me it's the devil that is worrying me.

    Africans and parties, anyway good article.


  10. I have always told my family and friends that I will only invite 50 people to my wedding to cut cost. Nice write up

  11. I will have two weddings. The first wedding, the real one, will be for immediate family only, this is the one that I will consider the true wedding, the uniting of the two families, and the one I will spend the most money on for a posh place and maybe even take the parents on the honeymoon The second wedding will just be demonstrative and a huge party for friends and relatives, if we are in the mood for it, because I may not even go through with the second event. Only a fool will start off their marriage life in debt.


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