Stella Dimoko Social Media Haters And Frenemies -Must Read!


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Friday, December 08, 2017

Social Media Haters And Frenemies -Must Read!

Genevieve Magazine CEO Betty Irabor made this post on Sunday but it just got my attention and I am doing her a standing Ovation for this beautiful piece!

Guess where the fingers are pointing??
Good Sunday to us all. 

When I joined social media about 18 months ago, it took me a while to know what to do, how to like a comment, retweet what resonates with me and leave comments. Then I noticed that a lot of time is spent cursing Haters, Frenemies, Enemies betrayals and toxic friends . Then I asked myself “Who are these haters, toxic friends, Frenemies ? Like really, who are they!!? The truth is, it is us, we are the ones even with our holier than thou attitude .These people we call names are not ghosts; they are people like us and most times, they are us. 

We scoff when our friends celebrate and refuse to even Like their posts. We celebrate them on social media but never in real life. We want their lives and success so badly that hate consumes us. We back stab them and yet dine with them. When they announce their engagements we go behind them to tell a tale to their fiancΓ©, we are good time and fair weather friends; we will be the last to support their hustle but the first to call them bestie when they blow. 

Today, while we are screaming Hater and Frenemies can we just take a minute to reflect and find out if we who keep calling others names are not the guilty ones. Could we possibly be the hater? Examine yourself ; are you the frenemy you keep accusing others of being?? Are you and I that God given friend to our friends, are we our sisters keeper or are we the enemy within? 

Are we encouragers or do we just wait to rain on our friends parade. Do we secretly rejoice when our friends hit rock bottom? Do we try to sabotage her life and career ? Do we want her life so badly that our hateful bile multiplies. Do we listen to them when they need a listening ear or do we go “here she comes again drama queen/ king?”.

Who is a hater, who is a Frenemy? Guess where the fingers are pointing? At us !!
Do take a moment to ask yourself what kind of friend you really, really are! None of us is perfect , we are work in progress. We are product of grace. Do we want a great loyal, committed and genuine friend? First,let’s go and be that friend we want our friends to be to us...


  1. That's just the whole truth. Nice write up

    1. anonymous to bahd8 December 2017 at 09:13

      Actually I disagree. God knows I have many vices, but I would never backbite or snicker behind your back while smiling to your face. I have never done it, I just don't know how to. So no, that part about we all being guilty and we all being the ones to call besty but go behind and destroy, nah, very inappropriate AND wrong generalization. But I feel the meat of her post, hence my snide comment below πŸ‘‡. Oh, I love Betty!

  2. anonymous to bahd8 December 2017 at 08:53

    Yes! Tell them! Hope they hear & learn & change! 😎

    1. Come, anonymous whatever, who are the 'they'? We all are inclusive. You, I, Stella and all BVs. Every I should examine themselves, take an introspection cos a philosopher said, " man know thy self cos an unexamined life is not worth living".

      Good one @ the writer, she said it as it is.

  3. Gbam!! SDK beevees..una hear?? Women are their own enemies

  4. The truth and nothing but the truth.

  5. True but no need to generalise. You can only speak for yourself.

  6. Stella,should I call you Dull? Or slow??
    You don't ever give us fresh gist.πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜΅πŸ˜΅πŸ˜΅πŸ˜΅πŸ˜΅πŸ˜΅πŸ˜ŸπŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜£πŸ˜£πŸ˜‰.
    When an info is Stale ,you remember your BVs!!
    Haba Nwunye can do Berra.

  7. Hmmm...
    Today is my birthday.
    I'm off duty.
    A colleague just sent me a message on WhatsApp."HBD dear...Abeg let me gossip small, P (another colleague) said she won't wish you HBD because you hardly comment on her posts. P is even saying you will hardly get up to 500 comments on your timeline, compared to her..."
    I replied her with a smile. I also smiled at myself. Truthfully, its OK.
    P in question should know by now I'm not petty.
    Well, for me Facebook is overwhelming. 5000 friends... Too many posts, most of them copied, irrelevant, complaints about frenemies and haters bla bla bla; updates on every details of ones life plus fabu, which usually leaves me wondering how do they do all these which I consider very overwhelming. SMH. RME.
    Also Facebook now allows everyone to know when you are online and you get messages like 'gud am', hw r u? Wts up'? Pls can't people just spell. I hate it. Am I weird?
    So I keep off. I'm thinking, perhaps I should delete these friends I ignorantly accepted and keep a handful I can manage. I miss people's birthday because I hardly check. I only do the ones I get their names on my notification or stumble on my timeline.
    P is not the first to castigate me.
    The other day it was my brothers Birthday. Someone from church called to ask why I haven't wished him HBD all I could do was smirk. Meanwhile I had called my brother earlier and promised to hang out with him which we later did. So is it a crime that I didn't do the Facebook do? Enlighten me someone!
    I use my MB for news sites, SDK, bellanaija, catch up on my fav tv series, I love Instagram cos I follow a handful and what I get ony timeline is not overwhelming, I used to do twitter, but not much these days. I only check news updates. I often thank people who make my timeline vibrant cos if it were to be left to me, social media would be so boring.

    In essence, not everyone is a social media freak and not everyone seeks social media validation.
    I love my quiet life devoid drama.

    Some have called to ask where I am," you dey with your Bobo dey enjoy"; meanwhile, I'm at home writing a seminar paper for one auntie.

    Happy birthday to me.
    Anonymous ancient bv.

    Just needed to take a break from the seminar paper I'm writing.

    1. Happy birthday dear. You write very well. And I completely understand you re : Facebook et al.
      God bless you.



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