Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmmmm....







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

SPOUSAL INVESTMENT


I am a female and happily married(for ten years), or thought so until recently; We have three children...all boys.


 I earn a little more than my husband and we talk about things we want to do as a family. We recently decided that I will bring 2x amount monthly and he will bring x amount monthly (ie, I bring twice what he brings)and then we would use it to continue a project we are currently carrying out... the money was to be kept in my account because I am the more financially strict person. 


Before now we have been having this argument of him including my name in the landed properties.... we buy together (in fact, I bring more many times) but he puts only his name. It has caused issues severally before now and I allowed all die down so that peace will reign . So some days ago I had a dream and the summary of that dream was that he betrayed me financially(PS: I dream dreams...). So when I woke up, I shared the dream with him (maybe I shouldn't have!).


 I later told him I had reached a decision.... that if he doesn't include my name in the property documents, I will cease to contribute financially anymore and henceforth buy my own properties in my name only. He was so angry and the next thing he said was he can't do a marriage that there is no trust, because me asking that my name be included in the documents meant I don't trust him! 


My argument was that his refusal to include my name meant that he didn't trust me also. I transferred his part of the monthly contributions back to his account (as a starting point for the no more financial contributions together) and I have totally locked up. Now when he complains of no cash and how he needs money I just turn the other way and not say anything. I am so angry about this because even women that don't contribute anything financially get their names in documents talkless of when you actually contribute the bulk of the money.


Now I am beginning to think deep and I feel like I am been used....Before now he could call me and say he doesn't have cash for bla bla bla and I will send to him, he hasn't given me any cash to run the house in about six years and I haven't complained,I take care of the children's fees(he buys toys and clothes for them), I mean, the inclusion of my name in the property documents should be my right not a privilege.


Pls Stella and dear BVs I want to know if I am wrong here, I have seen very smart women who ended up being played by men who claimed they could be trusted. In all fairness my husband has been a good man but now I am confused if it's because of the "money"..... Help a sister biko....



*Madam you are not wrong at all....If it is a problem including your names in the documents then its a very worrisome problem.The law system in Nigeria is not like the one abroad that favours a woman when a marriage ends.

Stop investing with him if he doesnt include your name,una no relate so shine your eyes!

130 comments:

  1. It should not even be what u guys will be deliberating on at all,all documents should bear Mr and Mrs,he is selfish and has another motive jare,please wise up and start having ur personal properties as well cos u don't know what dis might lead to.Best of luck

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Forget Mr and Mrs ABC XXX. The documents must carry your complete name and his name too. Mrs is just a title

      Delete
    2. Did Stella write "una no relate?"
      Really if you understand what marriage is; "they are one". The husband is wrong, selfish and
      myopic to have decided to buy landed property in his name only. But the wife approached it
      the wrong way. The reasoning will be something like; "we all will die one day, supposing
      you die first, what becomes of I and the kids; how will they legally own their dad's property?
      Some of the property should even be bought in the kid's name since they are all boys (which suits
      the African mentality).

      As it is now, like Stella rightly pointed out, women hold the shorter end of "the marriage stick"
      in the African set up. You have murdered the remaining trust in your relationship. After all, the
      money he used to contribute was "in your account". If he ends the marriage, you have everything to
      lose now; the property, the kids, you remain single while he probably impregnates and marries another
      and the lady and her kids become the "lords".

      So what do you do? Call upon the Lord who instituted marriages and who alone can change a man's heart.
      Show him in some other ways that you care. Meanwhile try and invest wisely.

      Delete
    3. So poster if not for the dream,your eye for no clear,in this century who does that,it is not wrong trusting your spouse,but it is clear stupidity on your side for you to allow him buy property without your name boldly written on them,especially when you contribute more,your husband is wicked,he has evil plans,please shine your eyes before he jazz you this time.cut down on how you spend or contribute to the house,he should start paying his children fees,feeding and upkeep,since he is complaining of no money,you complain more,henceforth buy properties secretly,be wise,do not allow him trick you emotionally, your mumu don do.most especially love him,and make the home peaceful,but if he does not want peace give him the reverse.BE WISE

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    4. Ode happily married for ten yrs.nko 100 yrs marriage ends in one day. Shine your eyes madam marriage

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    5. Madam! Chai! Who do you?.

      The high time y'all see marriage as a business, the better for you.

      For 10years you don't have your own personal tenants, business or even pure water company?.

      Love. Love. Love. Issorait! Love and enter one chance. Don't just annoy me with this your independent woman bullshit.

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    6. Even my mama no dull like this.

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    7. Anon 16:31
      Your epistle is longer than all the epistles written by the Apostle Paul himself.

      Only difference is that you are not learned up to a fraction of the Apostle, hence your essay makes no sense.

      How would he end the marriage just like that? What would be the reasons for deciding to end the marriage? The lady has rights to demand equity and by so doing has wrecked the marriage and become a sore loser all of a sudden? OMG ur intelligence is at an all time low.

      Madam, since you started the fight already, pls, Get a family lawyer to help complete and document property transactions. That will be one of your terms and conditions to return to status co. Create a long list and hold on to it like glue.

      It must not be divorce but it will be messy o.

      Goodluck to you.

      Hadey Halaba

      Delete
  2. There is nothing to confuse you here. He is or was only using you. You have nothing to lose by being independent, so damn him ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are not wrong dear, put your foot down and insist. Don't labour in vain, what if he dies God forbid, his family will claim the property is for their son and leave you high and dry. Let the marriage end if it will, this is not trust issue.

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    2. Aunty this your matter pain me well well, who come marriage come do mumu, so you are the undercover maga davido was talking about. Monkey dey work bamboo dey chop. It's not about trust, what if something happens and his family takes it all and then you have nothing for the kids, it will even be bette to have it in their names not his, what if he kills you after this? My dear nothing is impossible with these men

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    3. My parents buy properties separately. My mum will buy a land and tell my father to go and buy his own that the area is developing and the price will appreciate later. It's never been an issue for them.

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    4. yes oh, even as a single lady i have bought 2 landed properties in my name. married women are also entitled to buy their own please

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  3. The thing that covered ur eyes have cleared, trust no one, especially if u bringing d bulk of d money, hell, he should be grateful to u sef!
    Lock up o madam, ur mumu don do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me I no dey work and contribute but my name dey car and house papers. God I thank u for my husband. Madam u r paying the bulk and ur name is not on the papers? I beg u r not wrong at all. Save ur money and buy a house in ur name let him buy his own. Matter finish!!!

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  4. It took you ten years to see the light, hopefully you keep it that way until he either puts your name on properties.
    It wouldn't kill him to do Mr. And Mrs. Whatever your surname is on a document whether you contribute or not. You are married and marriage means you two are now one and what belongs to him is yours and vice versa. In cases where men are scared the woman would vamoose with property with another man after their demise, they use their child's name. So he has no excuse, he is simply selfish and you have no evidence except for word of mouth that you contributed to the purchase of these properties if case is ever dragged to the courts.
    Keep your money and buy your own properties in your name or your children.
    Humans are unpredictable.

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    Replies
    1. Dopplegänger, not just Mr. and Mrs., but with your name because anybody can be Mrs.



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    2. please ooo don't make it Mr and Mrs surname cos any body can be that Mrs. surname. for all SDK blog ladies and the men who care let it be Mr. Joe Nigeria and Mrs. Jane Nigeria. this na free legal advice ooooooo.

      Poster another compromise is to have your children's names on the properties.

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    3. You will contribute twice d amount n he is not paying school fees n he will write his own name? Hian

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  5. Poster you did not do anything wrong. Since he has refused to put your name maka Chi kwechili.

    Don't believe that his "trust" he is wicked. Onye obi akpo ka obu.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chike he is the one who shouldn't be trusted!! He's playing reverse psychology. You even returned his contribution back? 😂😂 You're far too kind. Like say no be him sperm you use born pikin.... return fire!

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    2. Ugegbe oyibo m, we are saying the same thing. Her husband should not be trusted.


      Take care of yourself for me.
      See you at home 😘😘

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  6. I agree with Stella. Please shine your eyes. If you guys divorce or he dies nothing will go to you. Unless he include your name on the documents don't contribute again. He might even lie to you and show you that he had included you only for him to change it to only his name. Be careful. Just buy your own properties and save up for when you get old.

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    Replies
    1. In my opinion he has an ulterior motive. A family oriented man will be all too glad to buy properties in his wife and kids name. That's a way of securing their future. Pls be careful with him, it's good to trust your spouse but when u see some kurukere moves be very alert. My husband buys properties in everyone's name even though our daughter will get married one day. It's not a matter that should lead to argument.

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  7. Madam your man is hiding somethings from you. No. 1 he betrayed your trust by not including your name in the buying of properties. You told him your dream because you thought 1 +1 is 1 and you forgot that 1+1 is 2. No 2. He refused to bring money for 6 years because you showed him you are man of the house, so you cause that one and he used that against you. NA HORSEBAND YOU MARRY

    All these marraiges that men cannot show repentance and they will be the one calling God all the time.

    I hate suspect in a marriage, your horseband is a SUSPECT.

    Sorry ooo, start planning for yourself before it is too late

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  8. Madam, let him add your name or you continue facing your front. You spoilt him by taking the lion share of the finances like you are the head of the home while he is the one with the vagina.

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  9. Poster,
    You started this rubbish!...
    Firstly,it's not good for your husband to know your monetary worth!!...
    Secondly,playing miss independent is the worst mistake any woman can make in marriage!...
    While you took up his responsibility of providing for the home,he is busy using your money to carry side chicks!...
    Your husband does not love or value you!...
    He just married you because you are richer than him!...
    I'm sure if you snoop well,you would see number of side chicks he spend on!...

    Don't ever contribute money in buying any properties again without your name boldly written on it!...
    He is a good man my ass!...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam! He's NO good man. He's a pretentious smarty pants. Yeye dey smell.

      One of my former bosses was working as a nurse in the US, her husband ran a business that didn't cater to their bills. She was running the home and he would do what he came. When they decided to relocate to Nigeria, she asked him for all the land documents in his possession. Lo and behold they were all in his name, After all her hard work. They argued and argued he refused to change name. As soon as she set up her business in naija she told him this is naija, so all things are passed away. New modus operandi. Hehehe. The man coudlnt even own a pin and started selling off some of the properties to even foot his own bills. Still running bogus businesses that brought little or no income. Well, they are divorced today. He obviously couldn't stand up to his responsibilities. And i dont know why some of us can't sight trouble from afar. You kept quiet that your name isn't on the document? Which peace to reign? There should be no peace! Such selfishness!!

      Your husband has NO excuse not to put your name on those documents. He is the one with trust issues. What if he does tommorow and his family come for you? Well from what I can read you are an independent woman clan so enjoy. Afterall you're married.... it's an achievement. Find joy in your kids.

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    2. I so hate women who form independent. Oops hate is a strong word... Lemme rephrase. I DISLIKE WOMEN WHO FORM MISS/MRS INDEPENDENT.

      See enh if you don't collect that money, side chics will. What's all this nonsense enh?

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    3. @Queen what sort of marriage do you get into If you can't trust your spouse with information such as finances? The man's action in the story is appalling to say the least, but not all men are same. Not trusting your spouse enough with such information means you don't trust him at all. If you go into marriage with this mindset, it's only a matter of time. . .If you can't offer such trust, give yourself to prayer in finding the right person; that's if you're a Christian, or stay away from marriage and utilise your money as you personally see fit.

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  10. Hello draw your ears with your two hands ...Stop investing with him .Haooened to my mum .Her saving grace is we are grown amd we insisted the document must bear Mr and Mrs ..My mum built the house with her money ..Dad is a broke arse yet she went and wrote his name on documents ..For what?Please men cant be trusted ..My uncle even dey sharp mouth for the property ..We the kids cleared him sharp sharp.Your brother is broke hiuse belongs to my mum .Now documents bear my brothers name my mum said she doesnt want Mr and Mrs cos of the kind of brothers my dad has .So my dear woman insist your name must be there dont trust men no matter the love .shine your eyes oh .Thank you

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    Replies
    1. Even brothers or children can't bring trusted. Your mom better put her name in your your brother's name and your home. Many male children have disinherited btheir own mother

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  11. I am a man. You are not wrong. Hold your position on this. He obviously does not trust himself - he is not sure if he will want another wife in future. Buy yourself your owm house in case there are problems in future. Good luck.

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    Replies
    1. Poster this anon is very right with the "another wife" thing.Nothing is constant anymore, he might wake up one day and decide that you no longer look pretty ,marry another lady and push you out..where re you gonna start from?
      Or something bad like death might take him away, and then you will see the true colour of his family, even if you have a male child, some family members won't reason that as they re hell-bent on taking over their brother's wealth. And take everything you've laboured for with him.
      Where I come from, women ve properties to their names,Majority of them got it without the husband's knowledge , So it's not bad if you start building or buying properties in your own name.

      Delete
    2. My husband met a girl, within three days, that man left me and our 4 kids oooo. Never saw it coming. The only thing is, we decided I use my money for house keeping, and we saved his in my account.It been 6 months, and he still calls for that money hihihihu...Things didn't work with the girl anyways.He wants to come home lol but I got my mind and my money. I have moved on. Poster, your husband must be the one saying school fees, and I hope u will learn from my story

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    3. Anon withn 3days. Left you with 4kids,it's not ordinary madam.
      I mean husband's have side-chicks and still don't toy with their family. How your own come be.
      Women are suffering ooooooo.
      One thing I know is I must always have my money. And the no of kids we plan is what i can handle singlehandedly incase of anything.

      Delete
  12. Madam get your name on those documents...... You need to be a good game player. Even if you will continue your current plan, get your name in those documents. I ensure my name is on everything. The car sef us my name. Land is in Mr and Mrs his name and my first name surname. Yes, I am not crazy just protecting myself. I ensured he changed all his next of kin to my name. And mine to my kids and some his.

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    Replies
    1. Mind you it is not your so called being a good game player, just take goat and yam to God's altar for thanksgiving that he gave you a good man. be making mouth

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  13. Money the root of all evil. You guys sleep together nakedly and even have sex which is the height of intimacy and yet money no gree una

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  14. Madam you are 101% right for your actions. Some men are wicked and heartless, exactly the same thing happened in my area. A woman gave her husband money to buy landed properties and the man did with his name on all of them, the wife didn't bore him a child although they adopt kids and finally the man died, the family seized everything from the woman claiming it is their late brother property. Don't let such scenerio play in your own case. It was later discovered that the late husband married a second wife unknown to the woman but his people were aware. Pls madam open your eyes very well before its too late. A man who can't include you in his property has an interior motive and can betray. Be wise.

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  15. That man is using u..
    Stop contributing to his project since its not our project.. Why not use his children's name?
    Stop paying the children's school fees that is his duty as their father u should be the one buying the clothes and toys and just lock up start ur own project without telling him anything.. This is why u shouldn't tell ur husband how much u are making..
    I am really learning here big time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam, I beg to differ. I'm married and my wife knows exactly how much I earn in dollars, I am aware what she earns too. It has never brought a dispute between us.Greed is the cause of most financial dispute in marriages. Using one or few bad experiences to justify a wrong notion is misleading to others. In a loving, trust-filled marriage, it is perfectly fine to disclose secrets to your spouse. Like a writer said above and I quote "Money the root of all evil. You guys sleep together nakedly and even have sex which is the height of intimacy and yet money no gree una". If you and your spouse engage in all sort of intimate activities and yet no trust on financials wouldn't it be best to describe you both as just sex/bedmate which is prevalent these days?

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  16. You are not wrong, stand your ground!

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  17. Madam shine your eyes well.Since you can afford it, buy your own properties. What about if he decides to have another family tomorrow? You want to be busy cracking palm nuts for fowls.

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  18. Woman listen! That man does not love you neither does he trust you. Infact, this isn't even a matter of trust, he just don't want you to achieve anything at the end.

    He feels threatened that You earn more than him.

    I feel that you should even tell him to share the properties between you two.

    He has ulterior motives.

    I have this feeling he might be wanting to marry another wife(that's if he hasn't already) so you don't have anything to your name if you live.

    I can't make such mistake of putting just my husband's name in a property we all buy, habba manna.

    Like I said, your husband is up to something.

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    Replies
    1. I agree. Something idi very fishy

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  19. You are not wrong sis. Please let him include your name or better still the name should be change to your sons. Shikena.

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  20. Ma'am, 10 years is a bit long and you've tried, be persistent on your decision and try to resolve it amicably without bruising your husband ego. He probably has gotten used to having it his way from the inception of your marriage. May God give you wisdom.

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  21. Why don't you ask that the properties should carry your children's names?

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  22. Hmmm! Someone is contributing bulk but name not on property! The name on property for joint contribution should be "Mr and Mrs so and so" or he should forget it please.God forbid but if there are issues, he will quickly claim everything and the big donor will be left with nothing.If he wants the property in his name, he should use only his money.Simple!

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  23. Poster if he eventually agreed to put your name on any of the properties.... please let it be Mr. Lagbaja and Mrs. Angelina Okokomaiko. Dont let it be Mr. & Mrs. Lagbaja Okokomaiko because that would be used against you when he eventually marry another woman or something bad happens.

    Mr. & Mrs Okokomaiko can be for side chickens..... Oya draw your ears well and hear words

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  24. Madam,women like you who help a man yo be financial irresponsible annoy me. How can you be paying fees and taking care of the home by yourself? Are you that desperate? Anyway,it is when you dont have money that you know the true colours of people who have been nice to you.your hubby has obviously been a 'good man' because of what he has been benefiting from you,and you have been so unsmart to aid him. How does an intelligent woman contribute to a property and her name is not included? Anyway,your decision is the best,if the man genuinely loves you,he will put your name without any issues.continue to lock up because that man may spring a surprise on you one day, and this may be the end of your fictitious'happy marriage'.

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  25. Hian. With all due respect, u r a mumu.com. Alternate property in each other's names. Not the kids names o cos he can take that as the father of the kids. Even C of O cannot carry 2 names. So alternate it and protect yourself. If you lose your job and he is the sole bread winner have you considered how your life will be?

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  26. There is trouble in paradise. He had a plan b by not including your name

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  27. You're not wrong at all. Note women it's not OK to just write Mrs x as your name o. Always put your first and middle name b4 surname as anyone can be Mrs your surname. Talking from experience meehn!

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  28. Madam, everyone that has commented have said it all. Doing what is sensible is not in the absence of love. Buy yours and save your money. If you don't want to make it too obvious bUy in the name of your children and save it as an inheritance for them. Don't be in the river and still have soap in your eyes. All the best!

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  29. Madam you took the right decision, if he does not include your name on the property don't give him a dim. Your husband has other plans going on in his mind, just save up for your own.

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  30. Na wa for this your fair weather husband. I have a friend who is a full time house wife,all their properries are in joint names,i mean all. He also gibes his wiife money. I was surprised when she was asking me what she can do with 4million in terms of investment. Is that one not a man?my sister,keep your money,that your man is up to no good,believe me. You need to be veey careful. But talk less,show less anger,just keep your money to yourself. You can also send him this link ,let him know what people think of him and his actions. P.s if your decision upsets him,then he is a gold digger.

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  31. No advice to give to you since you have taken a decision , now stick to it and make sure your names are on the document or start buying your own properties from now hence forth.

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  32. Poster you are not wrong. Insist that he add you namw too. Forget Mr and Mrs ABC XXX. The documents must carry your complete name and his name too. Mrs is just a title

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    Replies
    1. Poster how come ur husband know you earn more than him. You are not suppose to disclose everything to him. Instead be collecting. You'll be surprise to find out he earns more than you

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  33. Pretend to be broke and watch your good hubby turn to a beast.

    The bible says the heart of man is desperately wicked.

    Pls stop forming independent woman.Apply wisdom and tell him respectively to change the documents to your children's name.


    No be fight oooooo.

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    Replies
    1. Yes oh pretend an plan with someone in the office 4 at least 2month an let him pay all the bills including school fees!!!You will see if this your good man no change...i bet he's spending on some side babes oh

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  34. Madam please maintain your stand. Don't contribute with him again unless if he puts your children's name as the owners not his name. You guys should transfer everything in your children's name.

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  35. Madam take your stand if he won't change his mind!!!
    Then you should have let him do whatever he can monthly to the home run,haba,6years of leaving him out?you are a helpmate and God has blessed you but you should let him have a sense of responsibility,treat this with a lot of patience as u have stated that he is a good man but take your stand and pull out if he won't do joint names!

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  36. Poster I am talking from the point of view of someone who's parents went through something similar before they separated. Though I am not married but I have experienced life in a way that has made me mature very quickly. Sit down and ask yourself if you are ready to allow this issue cause a divorce. Are you truely emotionally ready to live the single mum life? Does he cheat? Does he beat you? My dad was cheating till he got that incurable illness. He also beat my mum. Broken bone, pouring hot food on her, she had to leave the marriage to save her life. She earned double too and contributed to most projects but he used his name and went on to put his new younger wife in the completed house. My mum and us were almost homeless because she had no savings when it happened. She had to start from square one with 2 of us. She has gone on to have about 4 landed properties that comprise 8 flats. She has not touched her 10 million naira gratuity and she owns a clinic. She did all these with 2 kids and No help from any man. No man can take this away from you. What is important is that you keep your job, create multiple streams of income, have an emergency fund and stick to an effective family planning method. Yes, he is selfish and greedy with potentially dangerous motives. This fight can degenerate into something more sinister and you can only stick to your guns if you're truely ready to face the repercussions like separation, divorce, custody fights, evil step mother to your children, jazz. These are a few of the many battles my mum went through alone. Her own separation from dad was necessary. Personally, I feel a man should drop something for his wife. You failed to set the correct tone and rules before you got married. I wish you best of luck. If you have any questions comment below, I can ask my mum for you.

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  37. Poster please keep us posted..

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  38. You're on the right path madam. Lock up very well, stand by your decision. If and when you're buying properties, do so in your name or your children's names. Your horseband dey mad ni? Don't fall mugu a second time.

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  39. biggy.paul@yahoo.com27 February 2018 at 16:16

    Madam let me first commend you about your sincerity on your financial contribution, I understand how you felt about the having your name on the property document. You deserve it and it is the proper thing to do, I will suggest clear communication about investment decision before venturing into joint savings plan. Personally you should start by using a strategy to reduce your contribution on the saving and diverting same to your pension or account where you have control over.

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  40. You are doing the right thing but it kinda late though. Not married yet but my fiancé used my name as his next of kin and even told me about it, am an undergraduate he pays my fees too.

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  41. My sister married a man like your husband, he is even a Pastor(for mouth.15yrs of marriage,my sister is the breadwinner because she earn more. The house they were building was finances by my sister but the husband was the supervisor. Problem came when the husband said he was a separation(after 4kids)that when her family discover all documents was in his name even the cars(thank God of my brothers(Barr.)the case is in court.

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    1. I know one so-called pastor who rendered my church member useless. After working for 30+ years in the bank. The woman retired to NOTHING, all because of submission and trust in her husband. She was turning in all her salary to him and the man enriched himself. She couldn't even pay her children's university fees, church had to intervene. This is a woman that was earning 6 zeros every month. Namsense. Useless men living off womens sweat.
      If you marry man wey you get money pass let him know that he aint backing down on his responsibilities, no matter what. Let the children go to the school he can afford and live within his means. Walahi he will seat up

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    2. Your English should also be charged to court!!

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  42. Stick to your decision, buy property in your own name/that of your children. Your husband has an ulterior motive for leaving your name out of the property,make him take up his responsibility of paying school fees you can assist with the housing upkeep but he must pick the bill of school fees at least. There is nothing wrong in full disclosure between a couple if they are truly being honest to themselves Adam and Eve were both naked and not ashamed that is what being a couple is all about.

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  43. Madam Pls, save your money, buy properties in your name, that marriage is sitting @ the keg of 🔫 powder, that your hotband has unterior motive

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  44. When one say "my husband's money" or "my money" is it not an anomaly? when one shares everything intimate (including sex); if they can't have funds together; where is the oneness? Hasn't the aim of marriage been defeated? The issue of oneness is in sharing everything. The excuses many give is "I don't trust her to know how much I earn or am worth". If one is a follower of Christ; who did Jesus give "his wallet"; was it not Judas? How much trust did Jesus have for Judas? These are some of the issues that intending spouses should define in courtship.
    On a personal note; my husband and I had a common "account" from the moment I accepted to marry him. He decided to put me in charge of every financial spending. He makes contributions and there is no issues about that. There is no account that we have had since marriage that bears one person's name and the mandate is "either to sign". WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT "HIS MONEY" "MY MONEY" hasn't the purpose of marriage been defeated?
    Finances usually breeds quarrel among couples and the taste of the pudding is in the eating. Married for more than a decade an NEVER ARGUED is our testimony by the grace of God. When there is concealment of finances, the lady makes demands, suspect the husband of keeping a concubine etc. But when the two are open to each other in the way described above; thee will be no room for mutual suspicion!

    Kindly give your husband this story to read:

    A couple we know lived financially apart. The man is reasonably well to do but the wife dared not ask or "take his money". He gave her "handout" of money from time to time; monthly allowances etc. All his businesses were solely in his name. He took ill and his doctor gave him a damning health verdict and he had a surgery fixed. He knew that he may not come out of the theater alive. He quickly summoned his wife and took her to all his accounts and made it Joint and she could sign. Made his kids 'next of kin" in all the accounts and re-registered all his businesses with the wife's name inclusive. Even the financial aspect of the surgery and bills, the wife was in charge. He told her, "If I do not come out of the theater alive, sell all the exotic cars and keep just two" etc. IT WAS NO LONGER AN ISSUE OF THE WIFE TAKING "HIS MONEY"; THE WOMAN WAS IN CHARGE. He confessed certain misdeeds to the lady and they prayed together and he got into the theater. AFTER 9 HOURS OF SURGERY, the news came . . . he survived it! It was this singular experience that changed his attitude towards family finances as concerns his wife. She knew about every penny that dropped or left the "family business" as it became.

    Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." (Luke twelve vs. fifteen)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 16:35. Such a long and meaningless comment.

      1. Your own husband makes contributions.
      2. You did not mention who earns more.
      3. You And your husband have never argued for 10 years. Congratulations. How will that comfort the poster and how is that relatable to the chronicle?
      4. Your relationship with your husband and the mumu 2013 viral fake story you shared, can't be compared to that of the poster. This is because the couples involved have different personalities, home training and childhood experiences. He's not going to magically, romantically and dramatically confess everything on his death bed. This is not Telemundo, You're overly idealistic.
      5.You mentioned again that none of the accounts you have bear one person's name. That is almost opposite of the situation of the poster.
      6.I employ all women who enjoy and continuously seek peace of mind, to shut down any woman who advices them like this, immediately. Their situation is unrelatable but they like giving generalistic, generic "hadvice":

      "Take it to the Lord in prayer".

      "Have a heart to heart talk with him".

      A sprinkle of "Wear red paynt and do snake in the monkey shadow".

      "injects viral story and bible verse"

      A little dash of "Me and my husband have never argued for 40 years".



      Delete
    2. Honestly when you started this comment I knew it will end in this your story 🤣🤣🤣🤣 you no dey tire?

      Delete
    3. Lady IGO on anon mode

      Delete
    4. Ha! Lady Igo still dey this blog with her stories? Tuale Ma

      Delete
    5. @ajebo yours didn't make sense either. Leave our lady IGO she's been on this blog before you were born

      Delete
  45. I hate cheats! Madam sell some of the property to make your money back. Even if its to forge the documents.

    ReplyDelete
  46. @yoyo woman, man wey be devil can be in any situation. I have a friend whose husband will not allow house help or anybody to touch his children, my friend had to leave her high flying job, rich man husband o! He Pays fees, house in his name, every other property (like 6) also in his name with his sister as next of kin - that is how he and his mother wants it. My friend only gets enough to cook and he won't even buy gifts for his children or let them all go on holiday. But he spoils his mother and sisters and disregards his wife's family. But I know there is a God in heaven and He will hear the prayers and groaning of the oppressed. Plenty werey out there blaming Buhari and politicians for nigerias wahala but they can't be fair to their own family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So what's she still doing there ? Hoping God will change the docs to her name by spirit . What exactly? Shiorr

      Delete
    2. Okay. She should sit down and continue being a submissive wife. Also, she should watch war room while at it. Wetin person no go hear?

      Delete
  47. poster,nothing is wrong ..you just looking for trouble where there is none..you should be worried about who is the next of kin ..amd besides ,you have male children.you want to allow money come between you both.if you are worried,let the man be and use your money and invest withh your name

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Horseband here oo

      Delete
    2. This is definitely the poster's horseband talking. We don catch you!

      Delete
  48. I seriously did not want to comment today, u are doing the right thing. Some husband's even put their wifes name as a sign of love. Be careful you have every right asking that he includes your name to everything you guys contribute monetarily together. Men and women can not be trusted it'd for your security and that of your children. This days number of years in marriage or children do not guarantee a lasting union. Men are selfish. He should do what is right if your spirit says you should protect your self do it 100%

    ReplyDelete
  49. The beginning of wisdom is for girls & women in africa now to stop joining finances or investment with relatives, husband, village people & friends etc. The historical betrayal is out of reason. Jealousy, cultural based maltreatment against women and many other factors that will ultimately cause you loose your hard earned money or even your life at the hands of those you think you van trust in Africa.
    Monkey sense things!

    ReplyDelete
  50. I hope in those 6 years you also have invested in properties in your name alone.
    You need to see evidence that all that needs to be fixed is fixed with either your name on the document of your kids name.

    ReplyDelete
  51. U r just a humble woman! i'm sure u earn a lot more, not a "little more".

    May God continue to give u wisdom and guide u .

    ReplyDelete
  52. Please and please use your name in full o...
    With the experiences of ppl around me, I'm tell you this.
    My friends elder sis used Mr. And .Mrs o, when d guy bring another wife the lawyer say she no fi win cos her name no dey dere..she had to leave all the properties with d hubby and start afresh

    ReplyDelete
  53. Yeye dey smell. As in my dad buys lands with his money and registers it with my mum's name only. Not to talk of when she brings money. Kai!! You caused all this. Imagine you dey even pay school fees!!! Okotorigba!!! Anything you start doing in the home, the man will leave it for you. Keep your richness to one side and submit! Shebi na submission dey want. Abeg lock up and lock down. Somebody that has an issue giving your fair share does not deserve your trust. Peace ko!

    ReplyDelete
  54. Na broke man dey loyal Pass. . Let him reach his target of ruining you finish make you come see Madness wey go shock U pas shock itself! Shebi he is a Goodman??? No Reasonable good man will ignore all your contributions and sweat All dis years and Put only his name in all d properties acquired.

    Selfish and greedy man!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Bc of this chronicle I had to cal hubby to confirm n be on the same page with him regarding this document issue. One can never know

    ReplyDelete
  56. Madam,it's painful that you bore this for 10yrs anyway it's not bad to start now , I'm happy u took d right step now. It won't cost ur husband to include ur name in d properties, even if u don't contribute a dime let alone u contributing d lion share haha, madam take ur stand, don't let him cajole u into agreeing, Dis is a very good decision u have made, pls stand by it till the end. No one can be trusted, don't joke withe future and ur children's.

    ReplyDelete
  57. My own na submission abeg.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Madam I pirry(pity) you pls have sense honestly. How can you take the big part of the responsibilities and your selfish horseband buys cloth and toys something you should do na wa o, then when you two bring money together to get a property he uses just his name in the document in this part of the world where women are not regarded.

    You better start investing with just your name and don't tell him don't tell him your plans angrily just be quiet let him not know what you are up to, humans are so desperately wicked and most Nigerian men are so selfish.

    What if he leaves you tomorrow and go marry another woman or let's say just married someone else and they both start flexing with your hard earn money ? Or Godforbid he dies and his people start dragging property this is Nigeria o Pls make sure he includes your name in all the property you two contributed money for, but pls just go about it the right way don't show you are upset so he doesn't go and kill you o .
    Please allow pay his children school fee listen let him pay his children school fees allow him be the man and you the wife gosh I'm pissed. Madam stop this your numu now.
    Women stop playing miss Independent if you want to support your husband is fine but pls he his the man responsibility to provide for the family. All this small small boys shouting what are you bringing to the table are just looking for someone that will come and carry their responsibilities.
    Which person's body changes after childbirth or which person's life and career is on hold because she is taking care of the children nonsense some women quit their jobs because their husbands want them to take care of the home.
    What are you bring to the table except your shrinked and expired penis that you have use to enter different things, if as a married woman i'm the one taking Care of the whole family what use are you being my husband oshico
    Who be mumu ? Miss independent my foot
    Is it not my mate that are owning landed property left,right and center.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam sunshine don vex. Hahahaha.
      Don't mind the men of this generation they are looking for traditional woman that will cook,clean,take care of kids and kneel to give them food. But when it is to bring money that is when they want independent career woman that will pay half of everything . You have to choose one if you want a maid wife, she can't also be a working career woman.
      Are we robot that will go to work and serve you hand and foot and still pay bills.
      What is your role then? Just to fuck.
      You too be traditional man and pay all the bills then.
      Poster open your eyes,ears and brain and read these comments.
      Men are not loyal.

      Delete
    2. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 leave them to be doing virtuous woman! Namsense. Will a woman do everything?

      Delete
  59. I know this type that u av married, I'm married to one n we live in d abroad. We were going to buy property n oga didn't av anything to contribute towards down payment, so I asked that we buy in my name since he was not contributing. He refused insisting on joint names. I really wouldn't av had a problem with it but for d fact that he has a love child pre wedlock. So I shut down. We didn't go ahead o. When I'm ready, I will act on my convictions, ensuring my daughters r well cared for. Another thing is if u buy jointly, ensure u r well described especially by your maiden name in bracket. Because anybody can be Mrs. Anything. I once had an elderly igbo lady as my client while in nigeria. She was a teacher n trader on d side n her husband was also a civil servant. After they had kids, d man started acting out n eventually left home. He sold house on their heads. House that d woman contributed all her savings towards but made d mistake of it being only in husband's name. His siblings supported him till he sold it n wasted d money. As she was running up n down to stop d new owner from evicting her, her daughter who was married n financially stable died during child birth. It was that one that was really helping her. She had to move in with her second daughter to look after her first daughter's kids. Her husband is living his retirement in d village. Brace up woman. No be fight unless he wants one. But you've got to live for yourself n your children. Erase that thought of good man from your mind. He's using you. A good man sacrifices.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Did u read d article where Apostle Suleiman built a complex, a filling station etc for his wife and in her name?
    Did u also read about the man who had gotten Visa for his girlfriend & himself while he claims his wife (who he was living supposely happy with) is dead.
    Where there is true love & considering a whole 10 years in marriage, this shouldn't be an issue.
    Haven't you heard or seen men buying houses, landed properties, cars etc for their girlfriends in their names?
    Madam, shine your eyes oooo.
    We are most times blinded by love, but Trust only God 100%.
    What if (God forbid) something happens tomorrow & you guys separate?
    Have you also bothered to check d next of kin to every...?

    If possible find away to be part of the already jointly owned properties.
    Find the most subtle way to deal with this issue. Ask God for wisdom. The aim is not off course to make you divorce your husband bit to live in peace and harmony at the same time wiser.
    Pls be Careful & watch your back. You never can tell what an angry man can do

    ReplyDelete
  61. #Reflection cannot be seen in boiling water. The same way, truth cannot be seen in a state of anger. So, analyze before finalize*

    ReplyDelete
  62. Poster please be like me. I'm always broke. Le boo even jokingly says it all the time that women are always broke. I don't put my money anywhere except my family ( my parents & siblings) He takes care of everything else even though he has an idea of what I probably make in a month. It's just my name on the properties and cars. My husbands money is "our" money. My money is my money. Your husband has another motive period. Don't do wahala just start doing your own thing alone.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Thanks so much Stella for posting my chronicle from the back door! Lol. I read all the advises and I am happy you all agree that I doing the right thing. Queen, let me say I expected your comment.... as well as all those thinking I was forming "independent woman"... in self defense, I just can't stay and watch my children and I suffer na.... what's the essence of my working?
    Thanks for sharing your stories too, I am more resolved to make things right.... e.g.,stop paying school fees and allowing him do that and others.

    Anyways....


    Update of things:
    He apologized for saying he can't continue with the marriage and said it was because he felt very hurt at the way I just stated that I had reached a decision.... ie, not "calmly" seeking his suggestion on the way forward..... (I just taya, is there a perfect time for these men sef?, every time the timing isn't right!).

    I have seen him making moves on seeking for the procedure for change of name of the documents, but I have not seen it actualize yet.... I had earlier stated it should be my full name, not Mrs bla bla bla...(I cannot fall mugu like that). So till I see with my two korokoro eyes, I am not stepping down on this my fire/blood mode....

    Thanks so much Stella and thanks every BV.... I took my time to read every comment... some made me laugh sha hehehehehe.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sister, ok eh the issue is you are head over heels. He is your man, we cant expect less. For you to say you cant watch your children suffer. Wow your husband is something else. BIKO USE SENSE FROM NOW ON. FROM NOW ON, BUY YOUR OWN AND SAVE MONEY. The man wants input etc were he did not bring money.

      Delete
  64. God have mercy. Madam pray to God for wisdom to handle this matter but please don't back out. Don't allow him to have his way on this. Please listen for the sake of your children and your life. That man has a surprise for you and it's Not a pleasant one.

    ReplyDelete
  65. poster abeg shine your eyes and pray to God to reveal every hidden agenda you husband has

    ReplyDelete
  66. Madam ur marriage are already death,no trust,,
    so why are you still with him?,,,

    i dey fear nigeria marriage now,,,,marriage now is all about money and property?
    waaahhhh,,,wife no trust,,,,,husband no trust,,,using there own hands to destroying
    there home and later blame it on GOD,,,,why?

    ReplyDelete
  67. Invest alone if he won't include your name not Mr and Mrs x ,because Mrs x can be 2nd wife

    ReplyDelete
  68. Why are women so stupid can't u buy properties in your name secretly that should be your new method be wise this is what a lot of financially independent women do you can't trust men ever

    ReplyDelete
  69. That man is not going no where, for those of you saying the marriage is this and that, he tanda there kpakakam, he is the type that is over controllin. Poster, thank God he has apologise. For your children school fees, if his income is not enough to afford the best school for them, continue to pay, for they are your children. But, stand on your feet till he add your name.

    ReplyDelete
  70. This Chronicle has helped me to learn that when names are written on a joint property document,it should be detailed. I used to think Mr and Mrs X was enough.
    Thank you all. It's truly educational, especially, having to include the maiden name.
    Una well done.

    ReplyDelete
  71. I pity this woman. Let your husband take his responsibility,let him be the one to pay the children's school fee. He is still married to you cos of your income. How can you be paying 2x for your investments and he is not ready to include your name on the document? I hope that man is not digging your grave behind you. Africa magic movie is real ooo

    ReplyDelete
  72. My dear poster,i have a near similar case too. my husband and i rented an apartment where we live presently. the problem is that his family can comfortably come and stay with us anytime and anyday without informing me sef but my mine cant come for even a day visit. to think that my contribution for the rent is even hgher, so now i have given myself brain. No joint anything, do your thing i do mine. i dont contribute to rent anymore instead i have started saving all my money. "i no get" is my new name now

    ReplyDelete
  73. How wont you be happily married since you are the bread winner? Even the most wicked man will pretend to love you when money is involved. Be wise and and start investing on your own because I can sense that he has another motive. And if your marriage crashes due to this decision, have it at the back of your mind that this marriage has been a scam.

    ReplyDelete

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