Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Mama Tee Series - How Friends Drift Apart

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Friday, February 23, 2018

Mama Tee Series - How Friends Drift Apart

There is a saying which says 'twenty friends cannot play together for twenty years'.




I grew up with some friends. You know those little children in the neighbourhood that you play ten-ten and hide and seek with, the ones you cluster together with to cook with tins, grass and sand. We were up to 7 or 8 in this group. 


Then when we entered puberty age/early teens, the girls started avoiding the boys, some got new friends in school, some started having boyfriends/girlfriends and we drifted apart.
In my case, I made new friends in my school. The neighbourhood friends became 'Hi' and 'Hello' something. Lol


Secondary school friendship was the best for me. You are together for six solid years in the same school compound. You can't compare this friendship with higher institution's friendship, that one is story for another day.
In secondary school, I had plenty friends, it was fun, no worries.

We were like this until the final exams, then everybody went their separate ways. We would see ourselves in town and say 'Hi' or even pretend not to recognise ourselves. Lols.

However, I managed to keep two good friends among them, we exchanged visits and kept in touch until one of them relocated to another state. We lost contact as there was no GSM in those days. I was left with only one childhood friend.

In today's world of social media, I see some of those old friends on Facebook as 'people you may know' or friends of friends and I just go through their profiles and pass. I don't add them, if they add me, I ignore most times. That enthusiastic feeling is not just there anymore and besides, I wouldn't want someone from the past forming a monitoring spirit on my life.

Sometimes, I must admit that I do ignore their friend requests if I go through their profiles and see that their levels don pass my own. Lols


Mama Tee

43 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Nice read Mama tee.
      There was no GSM yet in my state when I also finished secondary school. There was GSM in Lagos and some other states but in the state where I lived there was no GSM yet.
      When it eventually came, it was only MTN and the line was 35k. The phones then were Alcatel and Trium. Then Glo came and the price went down. How time flies. I still use the first mtn line that I bought back then

      Delete
  2. I have maintained one childhood friendship till date. We grew up in the same compound. Paroled together. Did 'bad' things together.

    We became less close when she got married and moved to ondo

    Eventually helped her get a house close to my house and our friendship continued.

    Now we even work in the same place. Weird ba.


    That's my longest friendship ever.

    Have others but distance won't let us be as close as we are supposed to be

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  3. Lols... I can relate with your last paragraph. Especially when some of them are married with kids and you are not. 😁😁

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  4. I maintain relationships a lot.
    Because I hardly make friends, acquaintances..yes. but Friends, I only have a handful of them and they are worth the world to me.

    I maintain the relationships with these ones.

    Everyone comes to your life for a reason...impact them, be a blessing to them, see if they are worth keeping and keep them.

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  5. This topic brought memories. I lost one of my childhood friends to accident. Such a pretty and intelligent girl. Rest on Roseline

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sky its not "eww" but "awww". May her soul continue to rest on

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    2. Eyah May she rest in peace.

      I also lost a childhood friend to sickle cell. He was 26. Died during youth service. We all blamed his parents for allowing him to go for service talkless of doing it in the North. He was the first born of the family and the parent had spent so much money on him. At that age, we all thought he won't die young.

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  6. We are the four friends, my twin, myself and my other two friends. Igbo and Yoruba. After 20 years still in contact with 2 them except one that went to Abuja and is working with Federal Medical centre in Abuja. Called her and she was speaking through the nose. Dropped her sharparly.

    The remaining of us are still good. Good friends for ever. She even promised to come and see me in the office. Toyin baby, i am still awaiting your visit. Love you very much

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na so love mejeje. Drop any yeye friend.
      I also blocked three of my friends from higher institution on my facebook, they were just there doing big girls. I will like their pics and comment on their posts, they will not even react to any of my own, birthdays too, no greetings. Na so I block them. No time.

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    2. Lol @ dropped sharparly. So you are a twin! Thats nice to know

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  7. Mama tee you have old sha. There was no GSM phone yet when you finished secondary school? you be mama oh lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There was no GSM too when I finished secondary school. GSM came into existence when I was in the Uni. I started using phone while serving in Bayelsa State. I got my first line for 25k and the mobile phone I used was LG. Hmm....I bless God.

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    2. I finished secondary school 1997..got my first admission into higher institution in 1999.

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    3. Chai! Skywhite you be old man o.

      No wonder hair finish for your head. Na only your head person go take know say you don old.

      Ikwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa

      With that your stature you go reach 70yrs sef person no go know. I'm sure you are either from Abia or Ebonyi state. Na dem dey be like that.
      You don marry?

      Delete
  8. Change is normal, and not all friendships are meant to last. People change, especially when you're growing up. Sometimes we outgrow that person or they outgrow us -- we no longer have much in common, or the things that brought you together have ended. It definitely can be painful, but it's a normal part of life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am realising this too ooh. When a friendship isn't working I just let it die a natural death. Cos some people are for a season.

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    2. Chikito Priorities shift Mehnn and some friends are not just part of it.

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  9. Choi! Mama Tee you are correct about that Secondary school friendship. I enjoyed secondary school more than any other school I ever attended. Lots of friends and fun. Wetin we dey read? To pass in secondary no be problem.

    I had friends in all the classes back then. During break time, I would go round and see them. We would gossip about the latest couple in class, who toasted who, who dumped who, general class events. I was also very popular in my school.

    Chai! Now I'm not that carefree and jovial anymore. I dey always maintain my lane jeje. Agba ti de. Life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lols...it is good you maintain your lane make dem no beat you because of your bad mouth. 😁😁

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    2. I dey tell you, my bad mouth still dey kampe but I no like fight again because I cherish my fresh skin. So I just maintain my lane make dem no mark me.

      Na for blog I dey find trouble now because nobody go fit beat me here.

      Ikwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa

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  10. Mama tee I'm loving your topics these days. Childhood friendship bond is very strong, me and my childhood friends are still communicating. We talk all the time, encourage each other and help where necessary. Such friendships are rare.

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  11. Lol at your last paragraph
    That was how my secondary school boyfriend saw me on facebook and added me. Only for him to start professing love telling me to let us continue where we stopped back then, lmao

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  12. Life sha. I managed to maintain one friend from primary school till now. She held on to d friendship more than me sha. And I have two more who joined us in secondary school. Now, 8 yrs after university, im d only married one, the friendship is till as before, maybe cos we trained ourselves to meet and catch up with each other's lives as we dot see every time. Phone calls and chats keep us going.

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  13. My secondary school was really fun, the once I still kept in touch with me, once they get married they start forming what I don't know.. Tried reconnecting with a very good friend but she was forming for me, till today I don't even bother myself again, make everyone carry him cross...

    #Rosie mai chin-chin...

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  14. I have one very close childhood friend, our mothers worked together before we met, we ended up staying in the same company, now's she's married(i introduced her to her husband), they live close to Us, our parents are still neighbors.. ..... Oh, and yeah, she has a child Too...... Longest friendship ever!!! 0

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  15. My low self esteem will not even allow me to communicate with my childhood friends cos i always feel they are above my level.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maintain your lane abeg. Old things are passed away.
      You need to work on your self esteem in case you 'jam' one of them physically in town. You need to be able to hold your own while talking. Na so.

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  16. Memories mehn....
    We used to be a clique of 6. 3 boys and 3 girls. The whole estate knew us. We were all in the same class but different schools. First one relocated to England in SS1, cos her parents separated. The other two (one boy and a girl, siblings), their dad got appointment in abuja so they moved. We cried that day ehn my parents even did goodbye dinner for their parents. See hugging and promising to never let go. Lol. The 4th to leave was another guy, after we wrote WAEC he came to my house one evening with the other guy to tell me he was going to school in US. Was such a teary goodbye. Then me i now went to Uni, leaving only one guy in lagos, he went to unilag.
    However, we would find ways to keep in touch and the one in US always hits me up when he comes to naija on hols. 3 of us in lagos would hang out and then he leaves.

    Fastforward to Facebook, we connected. Then, bbm- we formed a group (named it best childhood friends in the world 🤣🤣). We found out the one in UK got married at 19 and was expecting. The siblings were living in DXB at the time, and one had just decided to own up to his new sexuality (yup!). I visited them a few times and na from airport our quarrel dey start. It was like we never even grew up 🤣 The one in US was just doing his masters then and had a serious latino gf he was dating, they lived together and sometimes she would be the one chatting on his behalf so she became our friend too. Lol. Unilag one was doing his masters and he just started his own company.

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    Replies
    1. As of today, the two girls are married and DXB one is back in naija. See her everytime I go to her state and her husband is just a very correct guy too. The one London one has 3 kids now. When i went to do my masters she was the first person i called. See us for train station the day we saw, running like indian film. When we got home her first son was like 'mum I was sooo embarrassed by you today' 🤣🤣. That night, gisted like we never missed a day and my visits continued till I left. Her kids loved me they will steal her phone to dial my number and chat, tiny voices with british accent sometimes I won't even understand what they are saying. Her husband too had to align with sisterhood cos she don warn am say no be today. Lol. Correct guy sha, loved his wine collection! 😉 One in US got married to his Latino babe they have a son now. He came to show her his country last year, we hung out, played catch up. His son is soo cute and she was very open to ask about our culture, food etc. The other guy is still in DXB, works in fashion industry (obviously!!). While the ex-unilag one is now a full blown Lekki white-and-white Yoruba demon. Chai! He has gone to gym and now 6-packs and business has picked up so he's not behaving himself at all. I've given up on his matter, make e enjoy!

      They're planning a reunion at my wedding. Whenever that would be... 🤣🤣🤣 we have a whatsapp chat group and gosh!we're always about ideas, growth and achieving things not catty fight like my alma matter class group (I've muted those ones notifications, yeye dey smell 🙄). Well, they've all done amazing things and they inspire me.

      Delete
  17. My relationship with my childhood friend isnt strong. My bff travelled out of the country and expects me to bow for her, i just dey my side. I cannot coman die cos of friendship o! I prefer to keep to myself.
    Anytime there is sec school reunion, babes will start sizing each other up, checking out cars etc...sometimes i dont bother to attend cos na wash 😀😀

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Women and wahala. You will see men greeting themselves, chatting and having fun. Women would be eyeing themselves and forming big woman. Me I have deleted myself from facebook. No more facebook account let nobody come and give me hypertension.

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    2. Mrs Gee I thought I was the only one asides Queen and Boss who is not on Facebook. When I tell people I'm not on Facebook they don't believe me. They tell me I'm hiding myself.
      Let me go anon, if I use my blog id bvs will not believe it they will tag me a liar

      Delete
    3. Lol @ Hypertension. Mrs Gee i serzly tire for women.

      Delete
    4. I have some people too who say they are not on facebook, twitter or Instagram. I think it's weird

      Delete
  18. I was just a regular girl, who was not "fine" and "big" while growing up. But things have changed so fast. My secondary school friends and university colleagues have started sending friend's request on Facebook to me. Those people that looked down on me then.
    Lesson; don't ever look down on anybody. You don't know what tomorrow behold.

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  19. I have 2 close friends from sev school Over 20yrs of friendship and 3 from Uni . I’ve been blessed when it comes to friendship thankful for my girls

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I also have two friends from primary school. We are all married with kids thankfully. We share so much with each other. I can't trade them for anything. They are the sisters I never had.

      Delete
  20. Most of my secondary school mates are on fb but me if you see me I see u, if u no see me I Waka pass, the last reunion a message was sent to me but Na 10k them say we go pay, how much be my salary me I just ignore I can not come and steal because of reunion party.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Me too. I have no more interest to connect with those friends or school mates from the past. I am in a level and situation in my life now where I just don't understand their lives anymore. Today I am a single mother, single grandma, successful career woman and wealthy professional woman, living in Canada now and also in 2 European countries where I spend long vacation time every year. I don't lack physically or spiritually or economically. And most of those former old school friends are at a different stage in their lives, where their stories or life situation in comparison with mine today are complete opposites. So I don't find it interesting or something worthy of my time to listen to or interact with or hang out with those kind of women or people any more. Please don't get me wrong oh! I'm not saying that I am better than them...oh, because many of them are also equally successful and high achievers today in their own rights. But to me their life now just doesn't interest me any more and I just don't want to know them again or hang out or to communicate to relate with them.
    Let's say that my own interest and outlook in life today does not match with their own and therefore no longer compatible.
    Shikena!

    ReplyDelete

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