Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists - Hilarious/Embarrassing Bus Moments

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Saturday, February 24, 2018

Saturday In House Gists - Hilarious/Embarrassing Bus Moments

Lets discuss what happens when we take the Bus.....or should i say when we used to take the Bus!







There are some hilarious or embarrassing moments in public transport that you cant find anywhere else...I call them rare moments cos i had a lot during my Bus hopping days...LOL

You see the preachers,the ones who sells drugs for every ailment (Do they still exist?) and the ones who pick a pocket or a quarell.

It can be anything....

I remember trying to jump a fast moving Bus and missing the jump and landing inside a gutter....I got out and went into an Okrika joint to change 'designer' outfit....heheheheheh

Or buying Fan Joghurt and not collecting my change before the driver moved fast and that was my last card to pay from...wahala!..The conductor finished me with yabbis until someone paid for me and dropped at the same Bus stop i did to toast me as reward for his paying..hahahahahhahaha


I also Remember watching a man 'play' with a lady and she pretended to be Asleep,I saw her eyes move and tapped quietly ''Madam na wah oh,You no dey see who dey touch you?'' and she replied loud'' MIND YOUR BUSINESS''...lol

Any Bus stories?It can be any form of public transport and not just Bus.

73 comments:

  1. No b small mind ya business...who know when last a man touched her like that.

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  2. I don't think the drug sellers still exist cos it is been long I saw them

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  3. Can't comment with my chrome browser cos it's hanging and I can't make a long comment with opera mini.

    PHX browser hasn't been working for sometime now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can type in your gmail, copy and paste in comments space. And click on publish. Fiam one-way

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    2. Oh wow! Never knew that.

      Lemme try, thanks a million.

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  4. I was traveling from Lagos to Ilorin(Kwara state)some years ago... Make I nor lie, I ate almost everything they sell at iyana-ipaja and in Ibadan..
    Immediately my stomach began to rumble, I sensed that the spirit had descended on me and alerted the driver I want to urinate..

    Very timely, the bros sitting next to me asked me to empty my ice cream and pee in the bowl, :o mehn, i shock o. I kukuma tell the truth that i wantu shit say make driver stop...

    Apparently, have been maintaining my big girl level until I started getting different shades of lashes from the passengers.. Stupid driver nor even answer me, and a woman was even reminding me how I was eating like a glutton...

    After I had pleaded and got a million lashing from passengers and dem nor gree to stop for me... Mehn, i just undid my zip about pulling down my jean, with my eyes widely opened then i stoop... Almost all the passengers jointly opened the bus door say make i come down... I just look dem with one bad eyes and said 'the bus still dey move nah'
    Before they could say jack to the driver,and the thing go skrrriiiiii :o

    Fortunately for them, nah the last mess... I came down and
    did the real praprapa... But the mess wey i leave for them inside motor ehn, i still meet the heat ....

    This still remain my most hilarious moment,i have shared it once on spontaneous and whenever I remember I can't stop laughing πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    1. This post made me laugh the first time and i am dying of laughter again🀣🀣🀣🀣

      Sdk plx i vote for her

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    2. U mean u did it in the bus? Nah real wah!
      Me wey be shy shitter
      I no fit.

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    3. Olori you are the real MVP...I don laugh scatter,my Belle ooo
      πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


      LEPπŸ˜›

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    4. Chai...olori i give u nyash....rotfl

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  5. I no fit laugh,person dey enjoy herself,you dey ask question.

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  6. The drug seller and the preacher, na Abuja be their base now. reason why I dont like taking the coaster bus

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  7. Let me read comments..

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  8. Mine was almost falling from an escalator. I can't even explain it sef. My luggage and I. I think I leaned against the side and the rest is history.

    Almost took boo with me in the fall sef. He and I were just struggling to remain standing on the escalator while people just looked on.

    Kai. It was so embarrassing. I don't like remembering that day. Since then, I stand like a tree on the escalator. No leaning or touching anything

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    Replies
    1. The bus must be w very big and an expensive one to have escalators.

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    2. Hahahaha anon. Read her comment below nau.

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  9. Oh, u said bus. Oh well. I no get any

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  10. Looooolll.. I never read comments I don dey laff down! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  11. Travelling when you are on,I mean long journey its frustrating.

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  12. The Preachers yes try boarding a bus from the South East to Lagos.

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  13. All I can say is that I cannot remember how many times my jeans got turn from trying to come down from the back seat of the bus.
    ThankGod for moving forward abeg or is it the one where they would join 3 people together because of change and then you are forced to buy gala or handkerchief when they were still sold for 50 naira.

    I remember one time when i sat in front of a J5 bus and saw that the petrol tank of the bus had been magnificently relocated to inside a 25ltr Jerry can just between me and the driver...just imagine driving with a 25ltr Jerry can filled with fuel that was supplying the moving bus...twale to buses in oshodiπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ

    The story plenty abeg,ThankGod we don't look like what we have been through 😊😊😊😊

    LEPπŸ˜›

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  14. Lols..that touchy touchy things too dey happen inside bus.

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  15. #Develop the habit of not depending on other people to protect or shelter you*

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  16. Mine was when I travelled with my brother to Benin for post ume, see as I dey follow okada university girls dey gist from Lagos. The trip was going on well, the babes just dey laugh as I dey gist them, as we got to ore, I got into the restaurant and ate pounded yam and better egusi soup with a bottle of stout. We continued with our journey, na so demons enter my belle, I was sweating inside ac, sheet wan kill a brother, the girls didn't even understand my silence, na so dem start to dey talk, dis time, I wasn't responding anymore as I dey try control myself make sheet no fall, the one I liked amongst them sensed I wasn't talking like before, na so she ask" Are you okay?" I just looked at her fine face and said yes, my stupid brother who knew what I was going through just shouted "DRIVER ABEG STOP, MY ELDER WAN SHEET" trust drivers na, d man ignored and said na till we reach Benin oo, before I knew it, I had dropped a monster inside the bus, see people screamin and gasping for air, driver stop ooo, before we die here, make this man go sheet. The driver stopped and I ran down inside the Bush, did my shotput and used my boxers to clean up. When I got back, the whole world was looking at me. I didn't talk to the babes, I just kept quiet till I got to Benin. Please watch what you eat before you travel, abeg make una mind my typos, am working and typing this gist.

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    Replies
    1. Ho my God...FUNKE FUNKEπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    2. Hahahahahaha. U r so funny. See how am laughing so hard.

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    3. ROFLπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    4. Looool!! Im laughing so hard!!

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  17. I was in a cab the other day with three other passengers when one of us (a guy) let out a loud, evil-smelling fart. He paid for everyone!

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    Replies
    1. OMG!!! Stella laughed at my gist! Oh lawd! I'm a star! *faints*

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  18. Happened recently.
    After we entered this bus, one madam entered with her three kids. She paid for a seat, carrying the baby, while the little Ones- the boy and the girl were standing. Since the bus had no space, we at the back told her to come down and wait for another bus so she can pay for a seat for the two kids.
    Madam refused oo. Saying, why will she pay for a seat for small children. 10 mins later after we have moved, she looked at me with a pity eye and asked me to carry the boy. I told her that I couldn't. Because, I was going for a wedding, I don't have that strength and moreover, the kids looked dirty.

    Few minutes into the journey, the boy was nodding his head. She balanced the baby on her left lap, and made the boy lie his head on her right lap. Minutes later, this oozing smell was perpetrating the air. Soon, everyone was cursing whoever polluted the air. But it was stronger on my row. I didn't suspect it may be one of the kids.

    Long story cut short- We endured the smell till we got to our destination. After they had gotten down, the shit was on the floor of our row. The little boy was sleeping and pooing.

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    Replies
    1. Imagine if you had carried the boy..... You'd be singing a different tune entirely πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    2. Sleeping and pooing didn't he wear panties. You can lie

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    3. Lucky you...the shit would have been on you

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    4. You're indeed lucky.
      The shit for be designer for your cloth.

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  19. So I did my Nysc in Ibadan and I identified with Nccf.
    We went for one of our conventions,camped for two days and left on the third day. A night before we left,we ate this real honey beans. It was my first time eating the honey beans.
    As we gathered for the thanksgiving service after the convention,I had a little sign that I should poo but I encourage myself to get home before the poo so that I can enjoy myself while doing it. What I didn't know was that devil has plans to humiliate me but God pass am!!!!
    I entered the bus to go home,on the way home I started feeling the urge to poo so badly that I started praying in my mind,binding and casting the shit as a fire brand just plucked out of fire that I am.
    The fire refused to agree with me as this shit was bent on disgracing me.
    The bus driver kept on stopping to pick passengers instead of driving fast. Infact the drop and pick was so much that I shouted with the last of my strength telling him to drive faster. The conductor looked at me with this anger to unleash his poisonous tongue on me but when he saw the cold sweat running from face and entire body,by then I was sweating and could not turn or move any part of me again as the shit could leak out from my anus if i did,he turned to his driver and said "Oga e bi like say this girl de die oo".
    The driver turned to look at me,I was almost still and lifeless,sweating profusely in a terrible cold weather. He immediately changed gear,without stopping took me to my bus stop,he asked me to come down but that is where the problem is,I was almost paralysed,he and the conductor helped me get down as slowly as my body could move,with them chanting "e kpele oooo",oh God no allow this beautiful girl die".
    I managed to move my body to the available okada to go home but could not lift my leg to enter the bike,at this point I felt like vomitting. I felt as if i was going to drop dead any minute.
    Anyway I managed to get home,how I did,I don't know but it took me like 3-4hrs after the poo to feel normal again. I can never forget my near death experience.

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    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    2. 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

      Delete
    3. RotflπŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    4. I laughed soooo Teeee.. Me sef wan shittttt, was imagining it in my head πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    5. Hahahaha @"Oga e bi like say this girl de die oo"
      I've thrown up inside a bus once, but wasn't embarrassed though. It happens every now and then when I travel, once I inhale fuel I'll start having tummy upset,sitting by the window helps but that day I wasn't. The people in the bus were sympathetic, one bought me an extra bottle of water, another bought me bitter cola and the lady by the window offered me her seat

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    6. πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€
      Chai
      It took you 3 -4 hrs to feel normal again
      That beans do u strong thing

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    7. Loooooooool end time poo!! You didnt chat " shit go piss come shit go piss come"? You didnt put saliva on your navel?? I heard such and just couldnt relate. Pele, welcome bact to life

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    8. I laughed like a lunatic while reading this gist....oh my days!!!
      #sayonara

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  20. This happened recently on third mainland bridge.
    We boarded the bus from obalende garage to oshodi and there's this guy who sat on the middle seat while I sat on the last/back pseat.
    I noticed that this guy was sweating profusely next thing I heard was 'driver I want come down' and the driver replied 'for where, on top water this nite?' The driver kept on driving and the guy shouted 'driver I want shit o' the driver parked quickly for him to get down and we continued the journey without him.
    The remaining persenger were asking how will he make it to the next busstop from the bridge when he's done.

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    Replies
    1. Eyaas the driver should have chilled for him now. Im sure ge trekked to the end of the bridge cos i know how that location can be at night

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  21. Mine was when I vomited all over my body in a bus. I was so embarrassed.

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  22. One time I closed from work and heard a cab calling a reduced price for transport fare. I happily jumped in,I didn't take note that they were all men till one of Them started a conversation,Oga I think say na that bus stop you go drop with your bag.the other said no the next, but na dollar dey your bag na,I pretended as if I wasn't listen.when they say I wasn't listening one said sister help us hook mouth for this matter,I turn and ask them to leave me out of there issue. The next thing I notice the look of one of the guys.to cut long story short they insisted j follow them to neutralize the juju on the money. Naim I humble begin beg for them to let me out of the car they refused.i started to cry in my language then one turned and asked you be Edo i said yes sir.He just stopped at the next bus stop and dey push me out of the vehicle.people gathered and was asking me what happen i couldn't talk as i was too shock to utter a word.I was so embarrassed because I use to brag that i can never be a victim of one chance.

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  23. 2 years ago i enter a bus. I was sitting close to a baba(old man).so i notice baba was using his leg to rub mine. I tot I was dreaming. But i wasnot. I use my leg to push his leg away. But after sometime baba will repeat the act. N he was pretending to be asleep. I kept pushing his leg away. After about 5 times of continually pushing his leg away. I said loudly. Pls baba I don't like what you are doing. If you touch me again I will embarrass you here. Respect your age. The baba said his legs are bad that's why they keep shaking. I just bone. Behold, his leg no touch me again. By the time baba highlight from the bus he was perfectly alright. Nothing was wrong with his leg.

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    Replies
    1. Hahahaha weird people everywhere.

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    2. Baba alight from the bus.
      Take note dear.

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  24. Another incident was when we close late from work. My colleague n i decided to use this long Abuja bus. Bc as at that time. We were so broke. We jump into one and sat at the back. One aboki was sitting close to the window at the back sit. He was looking like a homeless man. Well we gave him some gap. As the journey proceed, aboki removed his ojoloojolo n was scratching it uncontrollable. Chai, the guy was scratching the thing especially where the public hair is. Cra cra cra. ... when it was time to pay he took that same hand to collect 200 naira to give me. As we needed change. I told him to give the conductor. I insisted I don't want that 200 naira note. The conductor abuse the hell out of me. Saying I am rejecting money as if I am cbn. I was just quiet. I don't know the kind of infection aboki had so I can't touch that money.it most be a terrible one for him to bring out his penis in public n be scratching it non stop.

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    1. There's no type of human being you won't see in that El Rufai buses especially those ones going to Masaka/auta. They carry over 800 passengers.

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  25. Rem during goodluck Jonathan regime. Boko haram was rampant n nyanya was bomb twice. So I took a bus form maraba to wuse, a pastor was preaching so the Christians kept saying amen to every declaration. By the time we got to nyanya he was done. The hold up was much. After sometime of quietness, one Mallam who was fully covered from head to toe brought out his chaplet n started chanting a Muslim prayer. The conductor said oga no pray that kind prayer here. The man continue. So one passenger said that's how they chant when they wan to do a suicide bombing. Then another person said n he is the one with the black bag. The conductor said oga pls drop if you won't stop that prayer. The man still didnot bulge n continue, this time even louder. Then sombody said I won't come n die in a suicide attack . Driver lemme drop. It was as if a spirit enter every body. People where jumping out from the windors in a stamped. Withing seconds the bus was empty, even the driver didnot stay. It was funny when the man stop praying n came down with his bag. Took another bus without saying a world . I still rem how we made fun of the scenario till we got to wuse .

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  26. The day I entered a danfo infront of Regina Mundi Catholic Church, at Olosha - Mushin, going to CMS. In fact me and my Bff that time had gone to Luth Idi Araba as medical students to collect some school things and followed through through Adeyemi street to Mushin, but there was no way to go back to Ikoyi( my aunt's place who warned us not to step out, Lagos was tense that period) because of the riot that broke out that year over election results.

    2 heavy heavy Alhajas in their 60s were kind enough to allow us into a chartered bus that came to pick them from a party they had attended somewhere around there.

    My friend was squeezed at the front between driver and a passenger seat.
    Me to the last seat, I sat in between two sumptuous soft laps all through as the driver blasted Remedies songs and others. Anytime the bus humps and the braces on the overhead bridges shakes the fabric tyres, the women will exclaim "ah e rara o" and hug me tight. They were dead drun reeking of alcohol. Mehnnn I was smiling and sweating at the same time though I enjoyed the soft "padding" I was on top of. Kikiki.

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  27. When I entered SUG bus inside Uniben the bus is so tight ehen as I was trying to come down the iron tore my jeans I disnt know it was that Big when I headed a tear, i was still cat walking until someone told me my jeans was torn at the back, that’s the last day I entered that bus

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  28. if na Lagos dem no born the mallam well make him no come down

    ReplyDelete

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