Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

This story is the type you read and you get so angry you want to walk into the story and beat up someone....

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

SPERM DONOR HUSBAND AND WANTING HIS KIDS YEARS AFTER...

Hello Stella,
Let me share my chronicle and learn from the rich opinion of those who understands my worry.

Got married traditional at a naive 18, to good man. He was 24, first son. We had 2 daughters, who are 3 yrs apart. The 2nd had some conditions (blind and dumb) from birth. No her eyes weren't shut, they appear normal like nothing was wrong. We didn't know (blindness) until she starting crawling. Always colliding into objects. At first we thought it was a joke. And that was when my ex decided to call us quits. 

It is long coming, since after the scan revealed it was yet other female child. Ex MIL gave me attitude until I delivered. My father returned their bride-price and we separated. Was my 3yrs marriage bad? No, at least not until he walked away. Was I abused? Yes, not by my ex but MIL. 

It was most shameful that the ex, as supposedly educated as he was. Didn't sway family pressure. Its not within me to decide the sex of babies. Its Gods, and the man.

 What a mummy's boy I married. 

So many interference, I can't write here. I was sent packing just after 2 attempts. MIL told me I was barren to her. That I even gave birth to an abominable who should have been aborted. That after all, she's not surprised cause my mother didn't have a male child of her own.


It was tough at 21, raising 2 kids, one who is a special need child. Shamefully, my parents sent me to live with my grand parents in the village. That was where I got to know that my baby wasn't only blind, but also dumb. I was further broken. I was recalled a year later at 22 then. When their anger had subsided. I lived off my parents meagre pension. Along with my other 2 siblings and my daughters inclusive. 

In a room and parlour face me I face you. Life was miserable. I hawked amidst assault and molestation to feed my kids. My parents made it clear that, they can't always feed I and my kids. Not because they don't want to but because we lacked a lot. My Igbo traders are bad, the last thing a woman without will should do is to trade in their midst. You'll never leave with your pride and virtue intact, I survived them. I got taunted and insulted in the neighbourhood. I became a babymama. My ex and his family were no where in sight. I did all sorts  except prostitution, not that it did not cross my mind.


At 24, I had saved up something to start part-time at Lagos poly. I later moved into full-time HND. Then I always come back home in the evening to fry Akara at the junction of our street, till 9. Get home 9:20, read 10 to 12am. It was wrenching. At 30, I had finished service with no job.


Sometime last year, my 2nd was admitted after missing her step. She was in coma for 2 days. After which she said a word for the first time. At home we discovered she has a partial sight recovery. Doctors said there could a good chance of full restoration or it remaining at that level. Every bitterness in me was washed away. So much joy I still can not find the words to explain. Her big sister, who is 15, is finishing secondary this year. Always read to her, even before she regained her speech.

 So in a way, my younger daughter is home schooled. Since there was no money to send her to a special-need school. At 15, the last time she saw her father was at her 4 birthday, then the younger was a year old. Often when she or they ask about their father. I tell he should be very much alive but does not see them as children good enough. I have been jobless since graduating. 

Just hustling as usual to survive, until recent. I have a job I'm yet to resume to, which I don't know how to go about honouring it every morning with defying constraint. The issue I needed advice on, is that. Late last month, my ex suddenly remembers he has DAUGHTERS somewhere. He came with his family, including my lovely MIL to try to take them. I vehemently resisted. 

I suggested he has to wait till they attain 18yrs. And if they opt to go with him I'd have no qualms with that. Rather than this forceful means. My parents supported me 100%. I acknowledged that they are his kids but after being away that long, he needs to slowly ease into their lives if they want it. And not because he wants it. But not coming from nowhere to come take my wonderful kids.

 In fact my father refused 18yrs, he insisted on 20/22. Another meeting was scheduled for April. Because both parties asked for time for further consultation.

Kind BVs was our position rigid and harsh? What compromise should we insist on, if at all there is need for one? Or how best should we resolve this issue, without being inconsiderate? We are from the same local government but different town. So far, its still a civil resolution nothing legal has cropped up and it wouldn't get to that extent.

Thanks for your patience.

*He should not bother...what does he need them for?Rituals or what?The one that is handicapped stands a chance of being abused so please protect her with your ALL.

Their conscience is suddenly pricking them?They never hear weeeeeen!!!