Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Wednesday, March 07, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...



I have been a silent reader of your blog for 4 years now...
Please I want to be story is kind of long and I suck at expressing or saying things so please bear with me.

I came from a broken home, I have never seen my parents together or my father have Anything Good thing to say about my mother am writing this he just came out of his fourth marriage which was hell for me because she was just a few years younger than me (Am 23) and very fetish ..and I was the centre of all her attacks(the experience brought me closer to God)I stopped eating her food because she was the one cooking ...and throughout the duration of the marriage...he didn't care about my welfare( was living with him)..i was so unhappy there that my mom had to rent a lodge for me...

Sometimes he gives me money which is rare ..i can call him for something important and he will SAY okay...when I call back he will not pick again...the essence of this story is that I think all the things I have passed through is affecting my relationship with people ..

I don't trust anybody...i always think they will hurt me...because I have been hurt a lot by the people that are supposed to protect me.i used to have this am tough attitude but am tired of it and been really open in recent relationship and the last.

I'm dating a guy that I thought would understand me....because we have a lot in common.i just let go of things because am tired of taking care of myself ...wanted an aspect of my life to be drama free were I will be happy and forget about my problems because am tired of caring and protecting myself and my emotions..(before i finish him..he has his good sides)but his walaha is much ...

I think he still likes his ex because he tells her everything that happens in his life without her asking ..this is a girl that really hurt him,...he finds it very hard to say sorry and any small thing even if is a play he will pick vex and not talk till I apologise and it happens all the time ...his rent expired and hes been staying with me since middle Jan (he recently got accommodation),we had an issue he asked for his phone and I said no ..he stopped talking me and I told him am tired of all the begging for any little thing and that lets sink the ship ..

The guy just carry his things like play play just waka he was about to leave I took his phone and refused to give back for almost an hour and after much struggle he took it back and left ,I followed and was begging him crying, to wait let's talk and he left and I called 55 times before he picked ...i started begging as usual ...he said am responsible for my actions and words..( I forgot to add that I went through his phone and saw were he was asking his sick ex gf if he can come and cuddle her and I deleted my number and everything from his phone,and I have a very bad temper when am angry I don't have room for thinking)..

when he left I felt like I have taken my last breath...had this pain in my chest .

1.i know my self esteem and emotions are on the floor...please how do I pick them up
2.i need serious insult maybe it will help me reset my brain. do I move on from all my emotional baggage..i want to but don't know how too.

No,you dont need serious insult to reset your brain,you need love and need reassurance and you dont need people like you mentioned up there who deflate you the more.
You need to hang around people who appreciate you and make you realise your self worth.....
The first thing to do about your emotional baggage is to let it go!
Discard all toxic relationships around you!


  1. It is well with u Poster.. Draw closer to God.

  2. I was once in ur shoes,it can only get better when u are focused and aim higher,if possible bone dis ur guy and wait for someone who will appreciate u for who u are,na everybody get his or her bad side,don't let ur affect ur self esteem, it is well with u

  3. Dear lady, you really need the love of Jesus Christ in your life, for you can cast your cares on him, he alone would give you rest. Talk to Christ.

    Abeg dump that guy and never call him back. True love would never make you cry tears of sorrow

  4. If bvs insult u join..u will commite suicide...u need love.
    But love urself first.

  5. Poster, it is well with you. Please, let go of that your toxic boy friend. He has little or no regard for you. Tell yourself you cannot be crushed. Read motivational books and encourage your self. Again, pray against like mother like daughter syndrome in your life. Remain blessed.

  6. The best way to find happiness is first making yourself happy.
    As Stella said, discard toxic relationships. What your father and mother did or are doing is no reason for you to live your life based on that.
    Emancipated yourself and begin to mingle with your mates and achievers. Focus on things that could be and not on things that are or were.
    You don't need a man to be happy, when you find happiness with yourself every one and everything would fall in place because there'd be no room for negative people. Be the author of your life story and not a participant.
    You're young and you can only go up from here rather than wallow in self pity and validation.
    State afresh and let go of past hurt,you'd be better for it. Cheers

  7. Poster, it is well with you. Please, let go of that your toxic boy friend. He has little or no regard for you. Tell yourself you cannot be crushed. Read motivational books and encourage your self. Again, pray against like mother like daughter syndrome in your life. Remain blessed.

  8. You’ve been hurt, you’re love was abused and taken for granted, your soul was hurt, and so was your esteem. It was you. Your self, and by that I mean “your own self”. And, “your own self” is grieving right now. In deep pain. Beaten up.

    Try to imagine yourself standing in front of the mirror. Who do you see? Of course, you see you. You see your beautiful self. You see a person worthy of love and not of distress. You see a person who deserves a meaningful life not the otherwise. You see someone that should be happy, and that should smile. But, you also see someone in deep pain. I am sorry.

    My advice is, go do your self a favor. Gather all the strength you need to wipe those tears and all the strength you need to tap your self in the back. And, tell this to the person you see in front of the mirror,

    “You’ve done well”, “You don’t deserve this” “I will make you happy, and I will make your heart at peace”, “You deserve someone else”

    You truly deserve someone else, for “your self”.

    The real source of your lack of self-esteem is you (hence the word "self")

    Fixing your opinion of you might not be easy, but it's waaaaay easier than fixing someone else's.

    So get started.

    1. Beautiful. I almost shed a tear

    2. Wow!!! I love this.
      Bae, channel your energy right. Equip yourself in all ways. Invest in yourself, you are still young. Raise your head cos its supposed to be up and note this "No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Unless You Give Them The Permission"

  9. For starting to away with relationship that is not adding value to your existence.
    Secondly get involve in sporting or games it helps a time.
    And pls don't look down on yourself

  10. awwwwww, Lord take control

  11. stella this is the best advice you have given in a long time. i like the part where you said you don't need insult to reset your brain,you need love and care. so sweet of you stella. poster do not blame yourself .you are so much in-love with this guy,but he is taking it for granted.may true love find you.

  12. Dear poster
    Let me clarify you,a broken home has nothing to do with your self esteem, even those from a united family also have esteem issue!!! So it's based on your personality makeover...

    Secondly you're just 23, 23 ooooo, you're supposed to be building your career and future, but mba you choose to follow your mind he will be your father figure abi, he will love you and carry all your burden as a baby that you is naaaa... You even housed him in a house your poor mother struggled to pay the rent....

    Thirdly you lack self love,if not you won't be begging man, and even stooped so low as giving him 55 missed calls!!!! Are you that jobless!! my dear no one can love you more than you love yourself, so start building your personality by loving yourself unconditionally..

    What's nextttt!!!!

    1. Is your life any better than hers?

    2. Ooh, you guys think i wud rain insults on you, nahhhhh, no time for crap....

      Whats nextttt!!!

    3. Ada your comment is so stupid and are just repeating what she has already told us so what’s next? U haven’t said anything meaningful Walahi....

    4. I hate trolling but to be sincere with you a broken home can make one have self esteem ish. I pray you don't experience it. One of the first sign is that you see them fighting for love either from the father , mum, or steps. Its strong sis.
      No offence, just an opinion.

  13. Sister girl don't think your happiness lies in another man you have to learn to love yourself more
    Don't think you aren't good enough that is not true you are much more and pls discard any toxic person in your life you don't need such people in your life.

  14. First you need to go soak in some cold river water or go to the beach for a day. Let the water Cleanse you and wash away your sorrows, the ocean is the most spiritually cleansing element we have on earth. If you are not close to a beach then check out a river or mineral spring.

    Nobody can make you happy, happiness comes from within. You continue to experience negative situations because of your low self esteem. You have to first love yourself and see yourself as someone who is worthy of love. Forget about relationships and men for about two years. Take two years for self discovery and becoming completely in tuned to you. If you have an interest in learning something that has always intrigued you, go and learn it. Even if you don't have money for lessons, use You Tube. If you have always wanted to visit some interesting location, go and see it. If you have always wanted to try a food, then go and eat it. Adorn yourself with beautiful things, wear a pretty flower in your hair everyday for one year, there are fabric flowers you can buy. Paint your toes and put on lipstick or lip gloss regularly. If you can stand it then always wear a little perfume. Start getting into a routine of surrounding your senses with beautiful things and a mindset of you deserving beautiful things and experiences. Now, on the surface these things may all look superficial and useless, but it is a way to retrain yourself into introducing beauty into your life, and building up the feeling of worthiness and having a personal standard in you.

    You will need to learn to attune to your intuition. When you have low self-esteem you are never in tune to your intuition and at such miss vital clues about the people around you. Start listening to your gut instincts, testing it until you know you are fully attuned. Your intuition is a guiding compass in your life and it will protect you from making unwise choices and creating unnecessary pain.

    Please also invest in some self help books. The chicken Soup series has helped millions globally. Deepak Chopra also write uplifting books. Invest in improving your mind, because our thoughts lead all actions in our lives. A healthy mind is a health life. Also start doing some form of physical exercise. Being active releases a lot of stress and helps us to cope with the demands of life, it also gives you energy. Please also eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, especially fruits with high vitamin C, watermelons and pineapples are a mood enhancing fruits that makes us feel good. Don't forget to drink lots of pure water.

    This life is yours and yours alone. Nobody is going to come to set it right for you. You will have to do all the heavy lifting on your own, but once your labours are done, the rewards will be simply out of this world. You will thank God you were able to pass through the fire.

  15. Stella, God bless you big!

    Poster, you don't need no insult.

    Dear, you need love and that love shouldn't come from a boyfriend.

    Babe, keep friends who appreciate you and bring out the best in you and not the ones that tolerate you. God bless you.

    And to all those saying she should use her time to build a career and not think of boyfriend.

    This thing has been paining me since whenever I read such, but let me let it out now.

    So how old should a girl/boy start talking of boyfriend/girlfriend?
    If she can't have a boyfriend and talk about a boyfriend at 23yrs old, so when is the appropriate time to start having/talking about boyfriend?
    When she's in her 30s? And by then, the holier than thou people will start calling her aunty gwegs.

    You people should stop all this fake preaching jare. A girl in her 20s is matured enough to handle her life affairs so stop all this.

  16. U called a man or spirit 55 times as a spectacular hydra-headed monster that he is abi? Come on girl! It is only my account officer that can get me worried if they don't pick my call or call back in an hour. Besides, ur family background is not totally responsible for ur lack of self-love. Find ur passion, acquire a skill besides ur degree and NEVER accommodate a man that's not ur husband. Only desperate girls/women do that and d guys know. Watch him go back to his ex wey no send am message bcos there's excitement and something to chase there.

  17. You are looking for love in the wrong places. The last place you find real love is in the arms of a man, not even a husband let alone a boyfriend . Never forget that.
    My dear that love you seek is with God. Only God.the love that never fails, that bears your emotional burden, your solid ground.. Only God.
    No boyfriend no husband...never forget that

  18. The guy is still hung up on his ex na leave him be
    you don't need this kinda man my dear, let him go
    you will find love again. and while at it learn to control your temper. goodluck

  19. Awwwww dearie... The bad girl in me is like "ouch SUGAR this girl needs a good Sugar Daddy". Nah! I won't tell you that 😁.

    Don't worry you will be fine. Breathe, go out, date , focus!

    You can't force someone to love you. I'm sure there is a brother somewhere begging, waiting and even pleading to hangout with you... Give him a chance.

    Don't stress yourself Jare. This has nothing to do with your family or your father's attitude.

  20. I know that it may not be easy but try not to beg nor take that guy back.Your happiness should be determined by you and not anyone else in this world. Always see yourself as the best. Engange in things that make you happy. Lastly, turn to the Holy Spirit( the best comforter). It is well with you.

  21. It is well with you poster

  22. Dear Poster,
    Sorry about your state of mind but trust me its not such a big issue,becuase as long as your heart is set on getting better,been a better person, you sure would. Firstly, be by yourself. Do not be in a haste to get into a relationship. Discover you, get comfortable in your skin.Look into the mirror of Gods word to see how beautiful HE made you,allow the word you read renew your mind, imaginations,hurts,mindset...gradually you will see you transforming to a more loving person,inturn you will attract and be able to keep good relationships. This may take time ,but it sure works.Be good to yourself. Regards.

  23. Dear poster
    U see there's always a time in one's life, where you have to go through the ups and downs, and how u come out of it predicts your future.
    U have to be strong, you have to let the guy go, trust me,he will come back, but hey u don't even need him, he reeks of pride and wickedness, never allow your family issue put u down emotionally or otherwise, work on your self esteem, I am almost same age with you, but girl, I will never allow any man put me down with his words or actions,neither family issues too. Enjoy your youth, old age creeps in fast. That your guy bu Onye nzuzu. Delete everything about him. Stay blessed babe.

  24. 55×s is a scary nber of times to call anyone!u still have time to work on ur confidence,people will carry u the way you carry yourself!!

  25. Cry if you feel like it and cry hard to relieve that pain in your chest . Then breath and live. It's not easy but you will come out of it like every other huddle you have crossed Jesus got your back

  26. Poster what you need is love, don't allow any guy to bring you down, please let go of that your boyfriend, he does not deserve your love, love will find you if you learn how to pray... Talk to God how you want your life to be.

  27. First you need to learn to love yourself,and no man or woman determines your happiness,you are responsible for what ever happens you,pick up yourself and see how valuable you are.

  28. I feel for you dear, one thing you should know today is that this too shall pass.

  29. My dear poster, you must love yourself first. Love yourself self. Don't tell everybody you meet about yourself. The guy knows you that is why he is treating you like that. Don't rush to get married. I rushed into marriage thinking it will save me from lack of love at home. Now am regretting. Is better to get married at 35 and be happy than rush to marriage at twenties and be miserable for the rest of your life. I love and wish you well

  30. Dear poster, It is time for you to leave the past behind. Your Dad is not the cause of your issues anymore. You are an adult now, begin to want more. What goals do you have in life? You are 23, you do not need anyone taking care of you but you. Are you done with School? Working? Have a skill? Get busy dear and get some meaning to your life. Leave relationships and work on you by challenging yourself to attain goals (make them very big too). These methods help rebuild esteem. You are going to be ok as long as you want to. Leave that boy alone with his ex. He is not serious. I wish you all the best!

  31. I under how you feel. You need love, care and attention. I suffered from low self esteem for years because of my parent broken marriage. I was raised by my mum and dad cared less. I am married now. I pray you find love soon. Do something that will make you feel happy about yourself. I did that and it worked for me. Improve yourself, do your best at whatever you want to. You can talk me anytime

  32. I under how you feel. You need love, care and attention. I suffered from low self esteem for years because of my parent broken marriage. I was raised by my mum and dad cared less. I am married now. I pray you find love soon. Do something that will make you feel happy about yourself. I did that and it worked for me. Improve yourself, do your best at whatever you want to. You can talk me anytime

  33. Until you realize that only God and no human being including husband, father, mother even you can ever complete you, your self esteem will be low. Jesus is the way

  34. You should be around people with mature minds... .

  35. Poster sit up and dust your ass,keep your head so high, carry yourself on a high key. Let the past go, go out more, read this book why men love bitches , if I can overcome my pins and worries after my husband left the marryiage is over a months now and am doing just great.

  36. This Ada human being. Are u normal?? Somebody has a thorn in her flesh instead of u to help remove it. You're bzy adding more thorns. I pity ur children bcz u resemble all dose dem mama wey mean.

    Poster please go over king Eze and other BVs comments again and again and it'll be well with u. Even me I'm so touched by those comments

  37. You are 23 you should not be blaming your father for not providing for you, you should be working or doing some trade at that age.

    Your mother rented a house for you and in desperation you let a silly user leave with you .

    Start doing something with your life this desperation will disappear, you seem to have too much time on your hands

    Calling someone 55 times is sick


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