Wednesday, April 04, 2018
136 comments:
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Hmm mm long story please introduce me to your job and I would come back to give an advice
ReplyDeletehahahahahaha you are after her job not to give advice. Na you biko
DeleteIf I were in her shoe, I will run away from that family, I will leave the house for them. Me I no go die because of one useless family wahala o.
DeleteThis situation just needs wisdom
Deletewhat your husband and family are doing is terrible, but you are fighting the wrong way
Let me tell you something about African men, they are EGOISTIC in nature. A woman earning around them messes up their pride. Forget the new generation ones that pretend they don't send and are secure, na lie! They permit it bcos economy is tight and want you to help. And many pay you bk by fucking outside to remind themselves they are the boss (makes you wonder where their conscience is right?)
On the other hand, many women loving work these days isn't because we don't like the good old days pampering where a man will till the soil and bring back money, but because we discovered our own money will give us a SAY in our marriage and CUT down their heavily bloated ego so they can respect us too.
That being said, most of them will never rest until they are sure your account is zero before they feel relaxed! So they make sure you use it finish 1st.
This is where wisdom comes in! With a man, you don't drag. You do him the more you look, the less you see. He has watched you send your siblings out and probably uses his own for the home.
Now you are done sending yours out, he is helping you calculate what else you are doing with your money. It is bad I know, but walk around the situation with sense.
Opt to take care of visa for one person (that's huge sha, but it won't kill you cos you have been doing it), use indirect way and hike home expenses and get bk half of it from him. Just be wise that's all. That way he won't feel you don't send his family, only yours.
After that, start using style to actively get involved in how he uses his own money. When it starts paining him, he will start removing eyes from your own
Also, encourage him on JOINT investments. While you still secretly hide one or two things for your rainy day.
If you don't go this route, he will just be seeing you as an arrogant insensitive wife that sends her siblings abroad n probably uses the rest for wanneka hair!
Don't mind those advocating for divorce, e never reach that level yet. You will still miss him amd they may get him another girl to spite you. This new generation gehs? pregnancy straight, now wahala doubled. Your money won't even reach you again also.
Just calm down and PLAN
All the best
Hmmmm...see sense eh
DeleteAnon 12:10
DeleteA woman earning around them you say? This wife earns 400+ while the husband earns 1million+, calculate the difference na. The man is just wicked and envious. I pray they don't poison that woman in that house if she refuses to leave.
Anon 12.10 you are too wise
DeleteThe woman should thread softly and carefully.
Perhaps the man has learnt about the lands she acquired
The mans issue isn't just about sponsoring his siblings, there is a deeper rooted meaning behind his actions. He is hiding a big grudge. The poster should try and find out what it is.
Let the poster request for another family meeting and agree to sponsor them. She can do one now and shift the other till next year.
The man will relax.
No be everything be fight and quarrel for husband and wife.
Once your husband discovers you are hiding money/investments from him while he is being straightforward with his own, na wahala be that o. If you wanna hide your money, make sure your hubby never finds out.
Marriage is diplomacy. I agree with anon 12:10. He may feel your salary is more than you've declared. Wisdom is key.
DeleteI feel like slapping this anonymous persons face. How can someone spew this much nonsense in this age and time
DeletePoster, you seem to be one of those "your money is ours and my money is mine" kind of women. For you to be able to send 3 siblings abroad and have hidden properties from your husband, it means you don't contribute at home. The man is tired of your selfishness and has a grudge. Apologise to him, promise to be more supportive though he earns more and watch him warm up to you again. A wise woman builds her home... I'm a woman by the way.
DeletePoster, you seem to be one of those "your money is ours and my money is mine" kind of women. For you to be able to send 3 siblings abroad and have hidden properties from your husband, it means you don't contribute at home. The man is tired of your selfishness and has a grudge. Apologise to him, promise to be more supportive though he earns more and watch him warm up to you again. A wise woman builds her home... I'm a woman by the way.
DeleteSee this mgbeke niffit
DeleteNa ur village children go help reset that your koko face like back of yam
Ode woman!
Thanks everyone that saw reasoning in my comment
DeleteMay God Almighty keep granting us the right wisdom to use and run our homes...
💋💋💋💋💋
hmmmmmm things devil is causing in families, may God help all.
ReplyDeleteWhen the devil comes in slowly, people are just too slow to notice or i dont care attitude is causing it. The devil dont like homes to be peaceful and many people are giving him the reason to walk into their homes.
It is well with you all. I dont really know what to say. Just to say may God peace be unto you all Amen
In this case they are all mad. If he puts your things outside you can leave but a woman does not leave. Tell him you do not want the marriage as well Cus you will not be the first to get divorced but you have added money to that house so you cannot leave, he can leave if he wants to. You will not die
DeleteBetter still, go and find the documents of the house, keep it and then sell it when no one is around, share the money and give him his own part, what rubbish? That’s how you will leave shit and it will be smelling
Mtscheeeeeew!
DeleteWhy did I open this post sef?
Madam Sender and Oga Sender, una weldone o.
You both work in oil firms, he earns over a million, you earn 437k at all. Does it mean you don't attend seminars and courses on money management abi na groudnut oil firms be una own.
Wicked husband and stupid wife, only God will judge the person that joined you people in Holy Matrimony.
Just do a me favour and find out if you're his only wife, then I'll come back to comment because your box is close to the door. Remember that if you leave out of your own volition, you won't come back.
Things are not straight upthere.
XP only you
DeleteThis is not your usual advice
Xhlrted you have sense
DeleteI don't know why I'm already feeling angry in my spirit. What rubbish!!! Those people can plan to kill her!
ReplyDeleteKai I'm so angry
Yes naaaa, na to kill her.
DeleteIf it true,the family is toxic.how can every one not say the truth that she is not supposed to sponsor it alone.na wa
DeleteThe thing is, this days you have to hear frm both side before making conclusions, some people can narrate story to favour themselves and demonised others. If this narratives are as you explained, then it's quite unfortunate. You seems calm and good a person and u deserve to be in a better company than your present inlaws
DeleteWicked people. Her husband is an Enemy of progress. If i were her, I would have left tey tey. She has her own money and she is still fighting shadows. That man clearly does not love her, he just wants her beneath him. This is clearly a loveless selfish marriage.
ReplyDeleteStella this is not shocking at all. A lot of women are going through this, the poor, middle class and the rich. For some men once they know their wives have a little money, they will not allow her rest till she has nothing left. If it is a job or buisness, they will dump the whole home responsibility on her, even when they themselves are working and have money. The loafers will not work again and live off their wives. I don't know why this poster is fighting to remain in a place where she is not wanted. What is the man doing with his own money? Spending on mistresses upandan, I expect. Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
ReplyDeleteI think she should stay and fight for her home. Her husband and His people will be careful to hurt her since she has fighters. They own the home together. With prayers backing her and her siblings+children too.
DeleteThis story spoilt my breakfast. How can a MAN that earns so much and his FAMILY have a meeting to demand for money from the wife? What kind of greed and shamelessness is that? I don't get, what is he using his money for? That's a very wicked man!
DeleteThis poster should take documents of all her properties, her credentials and leave the house for now. She should look for a quiet camp to stay, praying, fasting and re-stratetizing.
This is really serious. But why would a man that earns thrice his wife monthly pay behave so foolishly, stupidly and idiotic? I wish that man is reading this now as to see the level of his greed and wickedness. My dear my advice on this is that if your life become threathing, you better leave alive for such a MIL can poison to kill or even those lazy brothers can set you up to be kidnap or even kill. Pls thread carefully and watch happenings for like its been said "there is a time to get away"
ReplyDeleteNa true ooo. Dem fit kidnap am, come demand for ransom
DeleteWhere the hell is the man's money going to????That man has another family elsewhere Moor,..she had better leave while she can abeg,that man clearly doesn't love her.
DeleteYes Teejay if her life becomes 'threatened' she should leave abeg
DeleteHow can I read a story I'm not 100% sure is true and be so upset!?? Before 8:00am o! I mean I haven't even had my morning cup and I'm this riled up! Lemme await chikito's comment first, a cousin or neighbour of hers must have experienced this, make I go boil coffee water first, I dey come...
ReplyDeleteDon't you get tired of all this.... Make your point and go.
DeleteYou are very stupid this anon. And may you choke on that morning cup of yours. Can't you read, comment and pass without dropping names unnecessarily? When she comes for you now,y'all will still use your rotten fingers to type that it's her fault, forgetting she was on her own when you typed her name for no reason.
DeleteWhy are people like this for goodness sake? It's not Chikito's fault you are poor and miserable please,channel this hate and anger to the right source.
And yes, I buy the matter for head cos I'm tired of nonentities like you stirring trouble always!!
You're obsessed with me dude. I've told you I can't marry you. I'm in love with chike and that's all that matters 😍😍😍😍
DeleteNow run along.....
Oh! And since you're waiting for my comment I'd leave it under yours....
DeletePoster is a smart woman!! I love her 👌 That said, she should leave the house. She's smart and she would be alright. She should also take her children along......whatever the man likes at this point he can do. Cos she's not even safe with him. What's the point?
@aeegurl let's leave 'it' please..it is obsession. Go back to Monday's SP and see how it dedicated a whole epistle to describe its village head and say 'it can't marry her'. Like, I checked again to find out if I've told anyone on here that I'm looking for husband? Even though they say many are mad but few are roaming, i am happy to have someone obssess over me on here.
DeleteYou know those boys in primary school that would steal your pencil and your waterflask, and pull your hair from the back, just to get your attention in class because they can't tell you they want to be your friend? Know that some of them didnt quite grow up.
☕ @ chikito, 😘😍😚 next I'll not pull your hair, I'll stroke it, & kiss your ears & nibble on your neck...
DeleteAs for the empty headed voltrons, have a nice day!
Chikito I will leave'it' just like you said. Lmao.
DeleteI have never seen this kind of obsession jare.
Some men are wicked ooo! If he wants to sponsor his siblings let him do so na! Hian! Why involving his wife. He doesn't want to send his siblings abroad so he wants it to look as if the wife is the bad person behind everything. Husband from pit of hell! Am so pissed right now!😬😬😬
ReplyDeleteYou're so right. He's so stingy to sponsor his family abroad but blame someone else for his selfish act. mtchewww
DeleteWalahi Nkiru. You're very wise. He's a wicked and selfish man. If he sends his siblings abroad, they fit blow pass am. So sad his family members do not have eyes to see. I feel bad or the woman.
DeleteMay we not marry our enemies. Amen!
Abeg leave, before they strangle you in the night
ReplyDeleteChai the husband is wicked!! Very wicked soul. He is the one turning his family members against his wife. His mother included. And of course the mother will believe him over the wife.he doew not like the fact that his wife earns a living and sent her siblings abroad. So he wants to punish her for it while giving his money to someone else outside. At least the woman has sense by buying lands her husband didn't know about. That man can kill her
ReplyDeleteHeeeyy 👋👋
DeleteWhere've you been?
Smart woman! She's not shaken by their hot blood. My kind of woman..let her leave and let's see if he won't send his siblings abroad.
Heyyyyyyyyy chiki!!!! Long time
DeleteYday I left a comment about IBO's being predominately' Entitled' to other pples money, this is exactly what I face in my own family. Last girl, family of 8... I refused at tender age to follow my mothers way, I saw lazing and destruction, from my father's stories , I chose his footsteps although he is handicapped now. My dear wen MY hard work started paying off, I saw hell.. My money o, my sweat o, my prayers o... NNE I give myself sense. This MIL issh gives me headache me I will poison u jeje biko.
ReplyDeleteReally! That's not right. But she did not give any indication that she is IBO. Or did I miss it.
DeleteYes you did, the poster said Chinedu is the name of the Hubby's brother.
DeleteWere you the one who left a tribalistic comment under mine and was asking Stella where the comment went? So that they will say it's chikito that left it?
DeleteNa question oh.
Chaiii. Greedy lots. What won't we see in this country ehn?? All these mothers that give their son bad advice in marriage, God in heaven dey look una and will deliver swift judgement on your female children in their husband's house too.
ReplyDeleteSince they want you to leave, please leave and let's see if he won't send his brothers abroad. Very wicked family and one would think the "elders" would have sense o.
ReplyDeleteNne, leave while you can. Thank God you’ve been investing in yourself. I hope he wakes up on time from he’s day dreaming to realize what he’s doing. That his mother is mental.
ReplyDeletePoster, whether you have kids or not, sit your husband down one to one and let him know that his unreasonable behaviour will destroy your marriage. Be calm. And if he ever threatens to throw you out remind him of your financial rights to the property. Table for him the entire divorce process. Do all this calmly and NEVER reveal the investments he doesn’t know about.
ReplyDeleteHe and his family sound insane and it seems you spotted this hence your wise moves hiding your investments. It’s never too late to leave a bad marriage.
oshey dear. draining marriage for that matter
DeleteWell said. But how do marriages turn out so sour. If only there was sthg like a crystal ball, just to avoid it in the first place.
DeleteDear poster,carry your things and leave. They may kill you and your family will be at lost. That man doesn't give a damn about you. Why would you be the one to sponsor his siblings. He just married you as a cow cash. Run for your dear life.
ReplyDeleteExactly. He saw her as a cash cow, not a wife.
DeleteThe man is self centred, some mothers be treating their daughter in law like they are not old enough to be their mother .. It's better she should just leave the man for a while til his get himself
ReplyDeleteThis is crazy. What an unreasonable husband. Hnmmm
ReplyDeleteI don't get. What is the hubby using his money for if he can't single handedly sponsor his brother since he is earning that much. May God help their marriage.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing he is the one taking care of feeding, school fees and other expenses at home. You know some women don't contribute to the running of the home, it's the man that does everything. Since this poster did not mention that area so I think this is the case.
DeleteNo heiress! She's also sponsoring her two kids abroad and one is in boarding school here in Nigeria.
DeleteAnd she bought most of the properties in the home.
It's obvious he has another family without she knowing and he wants to make sure he drain her dry before pushing her out.
Sweetie......in as much as I'm no advocate for divorce,separation isn't prohibited. Leave the house. Separate from your husband.
ReplyDeleteWell the writer is a bit selfish. If he could sponsor her three siblings abroad why won't she help out. This shouldn't be an issue. If her husband wants her to sponsor his brothers she should quietly tell him ok then what ever she has he'll call her husband and give him what she can afford. Now your husbands earns 3 times your salary, but he takes care of the home, utility bills, children school fees and he Never bothers you, all you do is use your money for ur family without supporting his own family.his family is now yours so Madam execpt you are tired of the marriage then u can leave
ReplyDeleteDid you read well? She sponsored her own siblings.
Deletenne, did u read the story?
DeleteOr are you a male pleaser to ur own Detriment?
Did that one read the story well or just wanna comment
DeleteBlackberry baybeee! Lmao! You always manage to make my day.
DeleteRead the story again...
DeleteIf not that I had already decided that this year would be a calm year for me on this blog, I would have finished this slave woman akudo. Kai. What rubbish comment is this?
DeleteLazy people everywhere,she should sponsor his siblings!!!you try,did he tell her to help out? Or to take the whole responsibility?his wicked and unreasonable.
DeleteAkudo your self esteem is truly none existance!
DeleteGosh!
How can you compare someone that earns over 400k(wife) to someone whose take home pay is 1.5mil(husband)? So because the wife is more prudent financially and sent her siblings aboard and even had the good sense to invest in landed propeties, she should bankroll her in laws schooling aboard okwaya??
So what's darling husband doing with his own 1.5million monthly????
Biko, stop this rough play this morning!
Akudo, are you really a woman or a man in a woman's clothing? I'm reading comments and learning.
DeleteEka Joy, please don't finish her. Continue to be calm. Lol..
Is this akudo mad? You better go and check your brain because some nuts are missing. Infact you don't just have sense at all
DeleteAkudo! I put it to you that you are the type of woman that troubles her brothers' wives in their homes, chase their brothers' wife out of the house because she cannot conceive. You are the type that makes life miserable for new brides in their husband's house by staying with them and turning husbands against wives. If you have done any of these, doing any of these presently or plan to do any of these, BACK OFF and ask for forgiveness so that your ways will not be rough.
DeleteAre you a dullard? Didn't you read the story..?? Must you comment?
DeleteChai you are a big disappointment and disgrace to womanhood. Mumubrity! I am sure you skipped comprehension classes in your secondary school days. Low IQ women everywhere
DeleteAkudo, u obviously didn't read the story. Pls go back and read it well.
DeleteThe best option is for this woman to leave the house for now.
But come o, the brothers in question are young men, right? Can't they hustle on their own and find their way to this obodo oyibo? They can apply themselves thru hard work by earning academic scholarships or something close to it. Everything considered, must everybody go to this abroad? Abi nah competition, nee? Come, Naija is abroad too if one is coming from places like, Malaysia, India, Europe, Niger and Cameroun. Dangote made it rich within Nigeria, so can alot of other energetic, young men. Now, to the point, this woman better start planning her escape now o. Which kain yeye marriage be this sef?
DeleteMen and their sense of entitlement shit. So when your wife was sponsoring her siblings and putting them on the ladder of success you didn't see nor copy her? Woman since you have a good job, don't go but if they send you out just leave them.
ReplyDeleteu can never force me to help you. simple!
ReplyDeletehmmmmmmmm Jesus fix it
ReplyDeletei will loudly leave that marriage. what rubbish, he earns more and cant shoulder his family responsibilities. i really thank God from i came from, no entitlement spirit anywhere. parents will train all to be graduates, so you go hustle for yourself. that is the more reason i detest a particular tribe in Nigeria that depends on family to lift them up. MADAM IF NA ME THAT MARRIAGE DON END. i cant stand a husband conniving with this family to frustrate me.
ReplyDeleteMy dear please pack your load and leave. Lucky for you that you have your family’s support. Your husband and his family can kill you, the man has no regards or love for you. Marriage is not a do or die affair. Pls don’t wait until you are dead. Truth is, even if you sponsor them, they will not appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteVery true! They WILL NOT appreciate you, and that is worse in itself.
DeleteYou didnt thrash the issue well. did you tell them that your husband earns almost 4 times what you earn? useless mother , husband and family members.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure they know. They are just very useless, wicked and greedy!
DeleteEnter your comment...
ReplyDeletelocal witches on operation coupled with egbo ,cheap marijuana.
this man is crazy, abeg leave the marriage
My dear, don't leave oh! Fight for your marriage, fight for your hubby. Men are easily swayed by emotions. He isn't thinking straight. Why are you fighting back? You're not supposed to .Go and beg him, beg him well.but Do Not! I repeat Do not sponsor those boys. Appeal to his male ego..That is what he wants. Stoop to conquer!!!!! . I can't type much here but I have been in your shoes. Stop the fight. Two elephants can't be fighting at the same time. You will not win. And u will look back and regret it
ReplyDeleteMadam I pity your brothers wives,didn't you read where she said she can support him.i fear you oo
ReplyDeleteWomen sha! The story isn’t complete. Yorubas will say that a wicked person is one who listens to one side of the story and judge. If he earns thrice, how come he doesn’t have money to sponsor and with what you earn, you really can’t do all that you said you did within 2 years and not be so fucking broke so you must have back up funds somewhere (husband perhaps?). Nobody will talk and say things that will make him/her look bad so your story has holes and I can’t really follow you through!
ReplyDeleteWhen I watched the movie Acrimony by Tyler Perry, I was so angry at the man. I was thinking ‘men are scum’, ‘how can he treat his wife like that’....but the truth is that if it was just a story told by the woman, we would crucify the man until you watch the movie to the end and find out it was just two imperfect and impatient people. Women have their own issues but they make it look like it’s the man that is giving problems. I know lots of men who were doing good just until they got married but most men swallow it, they won’t go out saying it because it will rub off on them! You women should judge fairly including you Stella.
OMG! I watched that movie yesterday. I was like this at the end 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤 Heeeeeiiii!! 🙆♀️ God help us oooh....
DeleteThat said, it's not a reason to send her packing biko. Some men carry responsibilities and even train their wives siblings abroad and still dont ask them to pack out. Why would they even ask her to?
Hmmh, great perspective.
DeleteI must watch the movie "Acrimony" this weekend.
DeleteBut even at that n d change is 437k how can 437k sponsor 2 people abroad. This all boils down to selfishness.
DeleteAce I share your sentiments.
DeleteWe need to hear from the two sides. I said it up there that the man may be the only one running the home and the woman just saves up her own money and do whatever she likes with it. She did not mention who runs the home in her story. It's a one-side story.
God bless you heiress, you are on point!!! The man feels he's being taken for a fool...
DeleteSome men are just naturally wicked
ReplyDeleteif he is choosing to be a stranger, please become one too. They come bqck to their senses after you start paying them back in the same coin.
ReplyDeleteIf anything, you are meant to support each other and as our culture expects, the man supoorts more than the husband. This is something that has been in planning before now. They are unhappy you are helping your siblings.
This is not new... happens all the time.
I am going through worst,horrible mistake i made trusting my wicked husband. All property i bought is in his name,now my business has collapsed and i am begging him to sell one property so i can find my feet and pay children school fees,he refused.long unbelievable stroyoooh,i am suffering with my kids now.
ReplyDeleteObara Jesus!!!! See my mouth hanging open. You mean you bought property with your own money and didn't deem it fit to include your name?? Abi who owns the money cos ayam not understanding you o. Why o why woman will you decide to shoot yourself in the foot in broad daylight?? Short of words
DeleteHow can you buy properties in your husband name? You're truly a silent observer. You will keep on observing till they sell you. Nonsense woman with a fish brain in this 21st century. This thing is paining my chest more than you sef. You bought properties in your husband name. Chei!!! The properties that he's not supposed to be aware of.
Deletestupidity at its peak.....i buy a property with my money it will have my name...if its a joint venture it will be my full name and his....your full names cos their can be mrs anybody in case he decides to marry another woman
Delete11:33, thank you for this tip. I'm about getting married. I have learnt a lot on this blog.
DeleteSo if we want to buy property jointly, it should not be Mr and Mrs Fitables but with each person's full name like Mr Heir Fitables and Mrs Heiress Fitables. God bless SDK blog.
Your husband allowed it and that did not ring bells. He has property you are not listed on. Eshe Virtuous wife
DeleteU made a big mistake by buying property in his name, humans are not to be trusted my dear
DeleteYes @ Heiress
DeleteI leant that long time ago
Never u use Mr and Mrs in a property
Story Story!..Story!!!..Who else sees this article as a facade.You invited your mother and cousin,and hubby invited his own family members too and it turns out to be an unplanned meeting.This story didnt gel up abeg..Epistle with no content.
ReplyDeleteA facade means something else sweetie
Deletehahahahahha
DeleteMadam, wisdom is key here.
ReplyDeleteput your husband on the spot by telling his family that you would pay 40% of the trip, then explain to them that your husband earns 3× more than you.I would have adviced you to leave but that's risky. It would just make it easier for you to be kidnapped or killed.Now that you know the kind of petty husband that you have,learn to keep things about all you do to yourself. I know you might say to yourself, why do I have to sponsor his siblings but the truth is, they are your siblings too. This is Nigeria where evil is celebrated and people leave their personal battles and help others fight. Thread carefully before one of your in-laws would be adviced to just "waste you". After the whole saga, you can then choose to separate from your hubby if you want to.
This is the most sensible post I have seen on this matter. Thanks for your advice.
DeleteHmm... this is a dicey situation. First things first, this is YOUR version of the story, as we were not present in your house, we are not abreast with the full situation of things.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, going by your story, there are various thing you have to consider before you reach a decision. First thing is, to ask yourself what you want, because honestly, we cannot decide for you. Next is if you have kids and you decide on separation (not divorce) how would it affect your kids, and who will be responsible for what going forward.
Before you consider separation or divorce, I would advise that you start gathering your things of value i.e documents, your passport, and anything else and start moving them out of the house to someone you trust for safekeeping, because your husband may decide one day to move you out of the house forcefully .
Regarding sponsoring his brothers, he has no right to insist you spend your money on sending them abroad and don't let anyone intimidate you to do so. He may only be entitled to ask for your financial support which you are at liberty to decline, EXCEPT you do not contribute in anyway to the upkeep of your home and he resents you for this.
Finally, I would suggest that if they keep making the house inhabitable for you, just be separated from him for a while, so that he can reset his brain and decide if he wants to keep his marriage while you live your life and will still be entitled to everything if any you would otherwise be entitled to, being his wife. If after 3 years or before then, you still feel the same way about your marriage, then you can file for a divorce, if not, you can go back home and everyone is happy. Best wishes x
Your 3rd paragraph 👌
DeleteShe should leave and give the man space to think straight. That's what he needs.
Na wa o.
ReplyDeleteWell I would advise you talk things out it him,moreover he earns more than you do.which means sponsoring his brothers wouldn't be an issue,he should tell the truth to his brothers that he didn't sponsor your sisters if he has the fear of God in him and wants God to preserve what he has.Brother lies has gotten nobody visa in heaven or secure a permanent place of such rather it belittled you and you loose respect and integrity. Thank God you have a mother that stands up for her children I salute your mum for that. Dear brother in laws why stand and watch,supporting evil karma has a way to finding people's address,dearest husband's mother hope you have daughters? Now picture your daughters going through same and be the judge what would be your take. Please instead of separating them you should be the one to talk sense into your son make him see through what you as an elderly person can see. Family members shouldn't be getting involved with things considered not moral every family has their ups and down times. What GOD has joined together let no man put assunder it's biblical. Lastly sister please secure your future and that of your children against stories that touches the heart.
ReplyDeletePOSTER!Take my candid advice,please leave that marriage,is not by force,because they will plan and kill you quietly,thank God you have a good job and you can take care of your needs,leave while you can,you might not be alive next time to tell the story,period.
ReplyDeleteBu seriously tho, how can a person earning 437k sponsor 3 siblings abroad. The figures dont add up. Her husband is probably aware of d exact amount plus bonuses she earns in a month n he may also b aware of ur hidden investments. Having said all dis, ur husband is a selfish prick cos if d above is d case den how doz he expect u to use 437k to sponsor 2 no-good (yes no-good since dey re bold enoff to cos trouble in dea brodas home n insist on his wife to sponsor them) brothers who she would obviously have to vouche for n release personal details to international authorities who would come after her if they commit. Mu dear u re smart n strong n as such i would advice u to start looking 4 divorce lawyers just incase bcos dat ur husbands family can kill u. Please also include prayers in dis matter n run closer to God.
ReplyDeleteWhy are people so entitled. That their brother earns 1.5 million doesn't mean he must sponsor their trip abroad gosh. That she sent her own siblings abroad out of her own free will doesn't mean she should sponsor his own brothers abroad. My Broda My Broda..rubbish. It's time we learnt to depend only on God and watch him use the least expected person to help. Nobody owes you anything in this world.
ReplyDeleteAs for the wife, she should leave. Marriage is not a do or die affair.
Where and how did you get involved with such a selfish , greedy, entitled men from , I am a man by the way and married but I hate it when my woman complains she is broke.. well she is never broke she just always want more and by Gods grace I will keep providing..
ReplyDeleteI don’t know why Women of nowadays are so senseless. You sponsored your Siblings abroad and your Husband knows you’re the one that paid. Mtchewwww! Don’t you have Parents, Brothers, Sisters and Cousins who you can claim did it? Telling Husband everything see the wahala it has caused now! But that your Husband is mean o! Be wise Woman!
ReplyDeleteMadam, you are under no obligation to sponsor your In-Laws especially with their brother earning way higher than you.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you like investments and you know how to do just that.
Simply offer to pay for Visa Fee or something little so it doesn't seem like you never contributed.
Because this war will trickle down to your kids in the future.
Now, your Husband's true colors have come out, i will advise you make your Kids next of Kin in all that you have.
Down Play your spending so you can save more and be weary of that Husband of yours.
He's a selfish and mean fella.
All the best to you
Leave for your sanity, report him to SCOAN and let him tell the whole world his story of how he envies your success.
ReplyDeleteQuestions: Who supports the finances of the family? Do you own a house or pay rent and who pays this rent? Who feeds and clothes you, him and the kids, if any? Has he invested in properties for you? Is your marriage a my money is mine and his is ours?
ReplyDeleteIf you have been contributing to the upkeep of your family, pack your load and leave them, you will soon be dead.
If you have not then honestly your childish husband went about all this the wrong way but you ought to help out. Either way, your husband is very immature. A lot of you have unfortunate marriages in this country. Men who cant communicate,plan and lead their homes with humility. All they do is try to trample. You know his character biko act accordingly and be wise. If your hands are clean, carry on tread carefully.
Firstly , do both of you own a joint account because in marriage, there is no 'my' money and his money. If he wants you to sponsor the trip then both of you should start operating a joint account. You need to have access to the millions he earns.
ReplyDeleteNo wonder some women are so mean to their in-laws but in this case, your husband invited in-laws into his home , he opened the door for all these negativity.
Act like you have resigned from work. Come back from work and be like, since this issue is causing problem, you have decided to tender your resignation letter. If you are not working or earning, will anyone force you to sponsor trips abroad. Once you tell him that, he will be calm.
1.5 million naira is not enough if he pays school fees, rent and other amenities and also gives you allowances and you live in a highbrow area where you have to meet up.
You started trivialising your family's finances by sponsoring your three sisters abroad. Let's be sincere, if you didn't have the backup of your husband's money, you wouldn't try such. In a way, that man has been of immense support to you, don't throw him to the dogs so people who don't know him will judge him.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Great comment, well said.
ReplyDeleteThe man does not want the wife to progress in life.He wants to finish her financially so that she will depend on him for things. Stay in your marriage and wait for him to serve the divorce paper. Pray for safety and wait on God.
ReplyDeleteTo sponsor someone to Canada to read is not a small deal. You can’t work in Canada with visiting visa. Sch fees for international student is not less than $15k/ annum. I even wondered how she managed to sponsor 2 people to Canada on her salary.She must have taken loans .
ReplyDeletePls d man has a hidden agenda cos I can't imagine y a man who earns thrice of his wife's salary Asking her to sponor his younger ones when obviously he can do it comfortably. I believe he wants you to go bankrupt den send u packing.
ReplyDeletePlease don't sponsor anybody. Even if you do, he'll still throw you out, after you are broke. That's why he said he'll send you out empty handed.please be wise.
ReplyDeletePOSTER ,you started the war first,,,maybe your husband knows all about your
ReplyDeletesecret properties and you only caring about your own people,,
BIBLE,said,FOR TWO SHALL BECOME ONE,,,YOUR PEOPLE SHALL BE MY PEOPLE,
YOUR GOD SHALL BE MY GOD,,,,
any man that is open to his wife will never be happy to hear or see his
wife secret outside his home,,he thinks you make him look stupid to his people,that may be his reasons he never told them that you did not use his
own money to send ur people to canada,,bring peace at ur home,cos outside
are not safe too,,
Sincerely whatever the case is this husband and his family do not have the right to impose this on her. It just doesn't make sense. I'm sure if they had used a better approach the woman would have gladly supported without hesitation. It's not fair joor
ReplyDeleteThe man is an idiot for being with the scammer of a wife. He should jazz her and go marry another wife.
ReplyDeleteSee how easy it is for 99% of the commentators here judging the husband so harshly from a one sided story. This woman did not say who finances the home,the car,children school fees ( she conveniently forgot to say if they have kids or not). How easy it is to buy 2 propertie in Lagos, send two people abroad and trained them through the university all with 457K?. It is either she is earning way more than that, stealing or she contributes nothing at the home front and i speak from experience cos i earn close to a million every month and i tell you for free it is practically impossible to do all that she is claiming on 450K and still have money for personal runs. How can you call a man who's wife can accomplish all these things she claimed to have achieved under his his roof a wicked man? How many women will conveniently sit back and watch their husbands invest so much on his siblings witjout creating trouble in the home? From the story you would know this woman is a schemer and one who will do anything to undermine her husband. Let her divorce her husband and go and live on her 450k per month for all of you shouting divorce divorce like say 450k na money. Evil Wicked minded women everywhere.
ReplyDeleteThank you anon @05:25. A man that allowed his wife to accomplish this much for her family on 457k is definitely a good man. He must have been shouldering most of the family expenses until his family intervened. We women can be very selfish sometimes. We are happy for the man to bear most of the costs of running a home but start crying wolf when tables turn.
DeleteMarriage calls for wisdom and diplomacy most times. She needs to do feasibility study on what is needed and the coat implications then seat with her husband on how to finance it. Fighting will not resolve the issue and when all is said and done, the woman might lose her home. She needs to talk to her husband personally without any third party and show him the figures require on paper then how to go about it
ReplyDelete