STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
JUST BEFORE WALKING OUT ON THE MARRIAGE..
Good day Stella! How is the family? Please I need your help and that of blog members counsellor, expert, any body... To pull me out of this suffering) . Please Don't run because of the length and pardon any gbagun that may occur.
I got married September 2015, not to my heart robe or someone I would want to ever get married to but simply because I got pregnant and everyone thought it wise that marriage is the only solution. Now someone would ask, why will I open my legs for someone I can't get married to and engage in unprotected sex? The answer is foolishness, my mates were having boyfriends and I want to have too. When we first met we clicked but his character ( noticed he seems to be after the wealthy ones.... Gigolo) made me to mark him zero for marriage but I continued with the relationship just for fun.
Then I got a federal job and decided to back up from the relationship because of his gigolo nature. I kept d job a secret from him not knowing the news had already gotten to him. Second week into the job we had sex and my dad got arrested the next day, the family wasn't settled and I forgot to take pills. That was how I got pregnant, he said he wasn't ready for marriage and I should remove the pregnancy, but I decided to keep because I already have a job and decided to keep the baby for myself. Both families and pastors got to know and that was how we were advised, asked, forced (don't know the right word to use) into marriage.
After the first baby, he kicked against family simply because his sister and friend were try. 7months after the birth of my daughter I got pregnant and had another baby girl. 4months after that I got pregnant and decided to remove it. He told my mum and then she came with her prophesies, a prophet said, a prophet said and we kept the baby. He's 6 weeks old now.
Now the narrative.... 2015 till now not a penny has come from him. I pay all the bills and my family are not aware just his. We always fight and quarrel, the first two omugwo my mum came for she couldn't stay. I give him money to perform and act broke so my family could have respect for him.
Good day Stella! How is the family? Please I need your help and that of blog members counsellor, expert, any body... To pull me out of this suffering) . Please Don't run because of the length and pardon any gbagun that may occur.
I got married September 2015, not to my heart robe or someone I would want to ever get married to but simply because I got pregnant and everyone thought it wise that marriage is the only solution. Now someone would ask, why will I open my legs for someone I can't get married to and engage in unprotected sex? The answer is foolishness, my mates were having boyfriends and I want to have too. When we first met we clicked but his character ( noticed he seems to be after the wealthy ones.... Gigolo) made me to mark him zero for marriage but I continued with the relationship just for fun.
Then I got a federal job and decided to back up from the relationship because of his gigolo nature. I kept d job a secret from him not knowing the news had already gotten to him. Second week into the job we had sex and my dad got arrested the next day, the family wasn't settled and I forgot to take pills. That was how I got pregnant, he said he wasn't ready for marriage and I should remove the pregnancy, but I decided to keep because I already have a job and decided to keep the baby for myself. Both families and pastors got to know and that was how we were advised, asked, forced (don't know the right word to use) into marriage.
After the first baby, he kicked against family simply because his sister and friend were try. 7months after the birth of my daughter I got pregnant and had another baby girl. 4months after that I got pregnant and decided to remove it. He told my mum and then she came with her prophesies, a prophet said, a prophet said and we kept the baby. He's 6 weeks old now.
Now the narrative.... 2015 till now not a penny has come from him. I pay all the bills and my family are not aware just his. We always fight and quarrel, the first two omugwo my mum came for she couldn't stay. I give him money to perform and act broke so my family could have respect for him.
I even make him promise my mum money and gave him to give her. He drinks and smokes alot, womanises and comes home late. Now this omugwo he promised to be of good behaviour so my mum could stay and be happy. Only for him to spend a night outside, my mum asked after him and I told her he just left that morning to pick up something from a friend.
He came home and saw my face swollen with anger and instead of apologising he started shouting "I didn't do anything o so don't he frown Ur face, I was at the bar close to the house, got drunk and didn't know time had gone, I was at the bar here. Told him I lied to my mum and he should stay away from me. He should go to the kitchen if he needs food and shouldn't ask me for s#x.
That night his phone started ringing and I suspected the number, I picked the ball and I heard a female voice, she asked after him and I told her she can't speak to him, she hung the call. Face book messages started coming in and I decided to snoop. It was the girl he spent the night with. I acted like him and started chatting with the girl. And I got all the information I needed. I woke him up, should him all my chat with the girl we was still denying so I gave him a slap out of anger and he retaliated with a blow.
That night his phone started ringing and I suspected the number, I picked the ball and I heard a female voice, she asked after him and I told her she can't speak to him, she hung the call. Face book messages started coming in and I decided to snoop. It was the girl he spent the night with. I acted like him and started chatting with the girl. And I got all the information I needed. I woke him up, should him all my chat with the girl we was still denying so I gave him a slap out of anger and he retaliated with a blow.
The next morning he went out, my mum also went out with the other kids for a birthday party. When he knew my mom must have gone out he came back and started telling me how I forced him into marriage and does not want to live a free life, he asked why I went through his phone, and if that was my first time seeing such chats with girls. we quarrelled again and I told him how ungrateful he is and how he has not gotten even a diaper for any of his kids and he's sleeping with someone without protection he said he is willing to pregnante anyone so he can have his real kids, I got angry and started mentioning everything I've done for him. This time at the top of our voices that neighbours could here us.
I was scarred of beating so I held my baby in my hand and was abusing him from outside so someone can come to my rescue in case he bounce on me and his sister came in and was giving advice. In the midst of advice we quarrelled again and he said he is leaving the house since I asked him to give me space. He left with the sister
My mum came in the evening and talked to us, he said he regretted his actions that the girl was all over him and all that all were lies. At 11 o'clock his phone started ringing, Lo and behold it was the same girl, I took the phone to my mum and she asked her to leave him alone. I woke my husband up and asked him why the girl was still calling and he said he doesn't know, that she has been calling him since but he didn't pick because he has nothing to explain to her, I checked his call register and noticed he just lied again, they've been talking all through the day and at length.
My mum came in the evening and talked to us, he said he regretted his actions that the girl was all over him and all that all were lies. At 11 o'clock his phone started ringing, Lo and behold it was the same girl, I took the phone to my mum and she asked her to leave him alone. I woke my husband up and asked him why the girl was still calling and he said he doesn't know, that she has been calling him since but he didn't pick because he has nothing to explain to her, I checked his call register and noticed he just lied again, they've been talking all through the day and at length.
She called again and I picked up and started insulting her, she said she was sorry and she didn't know he was married, I put the phone on speaker so my husband and mum could hear us. She said my husband has been calling to explain things to her and she told him to go settle with the wife because she don't do married men. Me: and you are calling him by this time of she night. She: I couldn't sleep so I want to make sure he has gone home (yimu) I told him I can't do it and he has been asking me to borrow him money. My husband just flared up, that he's not a kid and we should stop controlling him and leave the girl alone. Another quarrel
Stella please I am tired of all these, all the people I have around me are those who believe marriage is for better for worst, I don't believe in that. Financially I can take care of the kids myself, but I don't trust myself emotionally, the kids are stubborn and have anger issues (I shouldn't be saying these about my kids but I just want you all to get it) I am very soft just trying to be tough when I see them respecting and obeying their dad but if I talk they will just look at me and continue what they are doing
Please I need comments and people that can help me out...
Stella please I am tired of all these, all the people I have around me are those who believe marriage is for better for worst, I don't believe in that. Financially I can take care of the kids myself, but I don't trust myself emotionally, the kids are stubborn and have anger issues (I shouldn't be saying these about my kids but I just want you all to get it) I am very soft just trying to be tough when I see them respecting and obeying their dad but if I talk they will just look at me and continue what they are doing
Please I need comments and people that can help me out...
*Na wah oh...this is some really serious ISH......he can even bring home any STD or HIV to gift you sef...........
Hmmmm.....this is what leads to anger, then violence, beating and the end of it all. I know your mom wants a happy home for you but will this situation stop, can you continue with his cheating? Even if not anything, HBP is a silent killer. Your life first.
ReplyDeleteBetter you leave the situationship before you develop HBP..
DeleteThat horseband of us is wicked and heartless..
Stop giving Him money,so he wil stop misbehaving.
You pampered him and you always look at his ugly face so far you stay in marriage.
You are marrying yourself period.
Give yourself some brain.
Receive 💯sense
It's so sad that some people are not married to the love of their lives. Emotional abuse is a bad thing o. I have a friend that is in a similar situation. He married the lady when he was very young because she got pregnant.
DeleteThey haven’t given birth to the man that would turn me into a mugu, the only man that can chop my money and go free is my son. Why are you so slow, he will continue to cheat now that you have caught him and dint do anything about it, after all her believes you forced him into this. Pick yourself up and chase him out, let your mum know you are capable, be more firm with your kids, cus all this wahala would do more harm than good to them, do you want them growing up to be their father?
DeletePoster, u just narrated my story. Mine pretends to be everything b4 our introduction Nd in front of my pple but he's something else. I noticed his behaviour few months to our wedding but my pple won't have it bcos they think I want to disagrace them. We got married I became pregnant Nd hell broke loss, only God knows how this broke men womanize without a penny in d acct or money for upkeep, then I stop giving him money Nd move on with my life as if he doesn't exist. He would steal from my purse Nd went out smoke Nd drink. He came to my office to badmouth me Nd say all sort that I'm not faithful to him, Nd he can demand for sex like no tomorrow ... No body teaches me b4 I pack my things I leave the house
DeleteGod bless you.
DeleteMadam first of all, go for family planning pls. My own situation isn't up to yours, my husband earns huge amount but doesn't save at all and he is a father Christmas to many people. Immediately the money comes in, it finishes instantly because he is a spend thrift, he doesn't prioritize and he prefers doing for outsider than doing for me. I know it isn't the same situation with yours but what I am trying to say is that we have only one child for now and I went for family planning when I didn't see Amy changes because I don't have the capacity to take care of plenty children. The only one we have is very good looking and healthy, that's what I want for my kids than to birth the ones I know I can't take care of hubby isn't there. Pls don't allow him have sex without condom ooo, because this kind of men will be very aggressive towards everything. He is still cheating when you are feeding him. Cut of every expenses on him and save your money because you don't have a husband ooo, na wife you get and even wives aren't worst like this
DeleteWa wa alright...
ReplyDeletePoster, you've already made mistakes, I will advice you to stop dwelling on your mistakes and past and face your current situation. Plus stop pampering your hubby, stop giving him money, atimes don't cook for him, you and your kids can drink tea and eat bread for dinner. Keep pressurizing him to meet up with his responsibilitis as a father and you should also go for famild planning before baby number 4 will set in.
DeleteFace your kids and keep yourself happy. Do not allow an (ngwolo) lazy man to give you HBP.
Make sure you always request for condom before sex because I know say e go hard you if I say stay away from sex.
Some women thought that sperm is water not knowing that sperm is an active agent. Tell your mum everything that's if she's the understanding type. If you don't know you have 4 kids, your husband being the first child isn't gonna work because mummy is paying the bills. What do you want me to tell you, to leave with your kids? Ask God to give you common sense.
DeleteDem go de alright true true, sometimes I wonder if BVs don't learn anything from the blog.
DeleteMost of the chronicles have the same subject matter but in different settings/locations.
Somewhere right now another lady is having unprotected xe# with a "KNOWN" community prick.
Doppelganger et al, una de try to they drop advice/comments on these chronicles.
Poster,you entered this with your koro koro eyes so why are you complaining?...
ReplyDeleteYou don’t love him yet you allow him have sex with you...
Well,since you have gotten the number of kids you want from him,send him packing!,,.
You said the kids are stubborn,that’s the hand you gave them!...
I guess you over pamper them or you are the type that doesn’t flog their children!...
Oriegwu ooh!,,.
I wish you luck!...
Imagine,she did not even rest after 1 to observe,she is giving birth back to back like pig,na so his thing sweet you...I dont have any advice for you,infact try for one more....Mtshewwwww
DeleteSorry queen. Lol.
DeleteYour kids seem stubborn and have anger issues because the atmosphere in your home is unhealthy. How would they be well behaved in such an unhealthy space? Ko possible my dear!! Or maybe it's even genetic. In a diferrent environment they would definitely act differently.
3 kids in 3 years??!! Even in a functional home, no be so!! I really tried feeling sorry for you, but i dont. You blamed everyone else but yourself. It's not your parents, your dad's arrest, his family or any prophets. If you decide to take a walk, you can. If you know you are around people who believe marriage is do-or-die, why tell them you're pregnant? What reaction do you expect? That your mum would say you should abort? Which mum will ask a daughter to abort a child put in her by her lawfully wedded husband?
Okay! So you missed contraceptives the first time (cos of your dad's arrest abi? Fine). The other times nko? You were Sleeping with him and covering up to your mum about his bad sides and still paying his bills. My dear YOU also think marriage is a do-or-die affair. STOP blaming your family for your poor decisions. When you're ready to start taking decisions based on facts and not sentiments, come back let's talk.
You have degenerated to embarrassing yourself infront of neighbours, holding your baby as a shield, and you don't see that you're sitting on a keg of gun powder? Okay! Come and tell me about children with anger issues that you can't manage, when you're busy injecting them with aggression.
DeleteChy I don't comment but today you have earned my respect..you have a new fan. Xxx
DeleteChikito is awesome when she's not being silly. The girl is brilliant, but erratic.
DeleteChikito, You are a very smart lady. Wish l could meet you in person. You are blunt and say it as it is. No sugar coating. You are one of my favorites here. Including, XOXO mystery, Eka Joy, XP. Very full of wisdom. Keep on doing you!!
DeleteAnon 😉 you're just a blog troll who's always running around salivating under my comments. When you're bold enough to have a REAL iD, I will address you. COWARD! Silliness bite your nyash dia. Idiorikoriwa plantain
DeleteThank you o jare anon 21:47 and 19:48
DeleteChikito made sense today...nice one
DeletePoster please don't raise your girls to be like you. No atom of self worth at all. Marriage this marriage that, please stop deceiving yourself thAt ain't marriage that's you suffering
DeleteChikito, This is my second time leaving a comment on this blog. I have to say that you are one hell of a smart and confident lady. I wouldn't add or take away from your comment.
DeleteSo after the first pregnancy that was a ‘mistake’, you couldn’t prevent the other two ‘mistakes’ that followed? To be honest, you’re just deceiving yourself and until you decide to uproot yourself from this shackle of performative marriage there is nothing any of us can do to help.
ReplyDeleteYou have the knife and the yam yet you are indecisive, who raised these kids with anger and stubborn nature? Don’t you think you’ve nurtured them in an unhealthy environment for far too long? It’s only a matter of time before they’d start to insult and even beat you because of the way you and their father act around the house. You were comfortable to take care of one child but according to you, your life is under the control of your family and pastors and now you want us to tell you to leave with three kids. What changed now? Why are you now able to do something you could have done years ago? Madam, you’re married to yourself because the man you married does nothing but put his seed in you.
God bless you Doppelganger. The first was a mistake agreed. You continued second and third one entered. I mean I don't get it. What were u thinking? And since 2015 when you got married you said he doesn't foot the bills. I think your job is enough to take care of your kids and you. Madam either you pack your load and go but if you don't want to stay in the house with him as flatmates only
Deleteshe try o. i go don pack out since
DeleteCalm down naa. Remember she married him after the first pregnancy. So, she shouldn't perform her duties because the first pregnancy was a mistake? I'm sure she was hoping the marriage would work.
DeleteSorry but u are mad.... Who does that, marry because of pregnancy, baby that u can even care for.. Continue marrying yourself until u die of diseases or HBP
ReplyDeleteShe is mad? Really? That was the best you could do?
DeleteSharon Sharon, she who lives in a glass house ...
DeleteMrs Sharon, that rather too harsh. Let control ourselves and portray ourselves as marries women. Don't you also have marriage challenges. Because someone came for an advise doesn't mean we should be cruel to them.
Delete"Heart robe?"
ReplyDeleteYour HEART-THROB is definitely what you had in mind.
Please girls/ladies, pregnancy is not the way to get married, it complicates things that could have been sorted out.
Do not follow the multitude to do evil; getting pregnant before your bride price is paid.
It is well!
ReplyDeleteMadam I will advice you let him be. Do what makes you happy and stop bothering your head over his cheating ass.
ReplyDeleteAt what point did you realise he isn't marriage material?
ReplyDeleteAfter 3 consecutive kids?
You are the kind of people that are concerned with "what will people say" and MAYBE it's because you have gone around judging people too.
C'mon, if the first one was a mistake(which I don't believe)....the 2nd and 3rd ain't.
The decision is with you madam, you either stay and continue because of what people will say or get rid of that walking bomb of STD you call husband.
I agree with you. I'm in the same situation
DeleteDear poster, the problem is that you don't have a mind of your own; you rely on what others think or have to say concerning you! I don't support divorce BUT... you gats to get outta there, woman! According to you, the only thing your husband does is f*ck you. You do every other thing for yourself including catering for your kids. Why then are you still with this man??? Settle down and ask yourself what you really want in life. Your husband wants to be free abi? then do the needful i beg...
ReplyDeleteHow do people just have sex for the sake of having sex and say it just happened. I'm not wired like that o. There must be deep attraction before I kiss you sef.
ReplyDeletePoster try and connect with your kids and work on their anger issue so it doesn't affect them in the long run. That fight fight environ is not helping them sef. Your hubby gigolo nature is in him, only him can make that firm decision to change. You decide if you want to wait for him to or not.
Your kids should come first now abeg.
Gone re those days when men work hard to provide for their family. Now they depend on women and re proud of it. Na wa
I'm telling you. Men are so lazy these days. 80 percent of african women are the bread winners these days. Men have become so comfortable, no shame.They don't try harder to better their lives, cos they know their wives are there. Men have become kids, that women take care of. I can't allow my father to scold me, if he is lazy..Like it my mother who feed us all,so what right do u have to tell us anything?
DeletePls speak for yourself.my hubby is not lazy.
DeleteThat first paragraph of yours is so true. Ordinary to kiss someone I don't have an atom of attraction is very difficult for me. I truly wonder how people say they just have sex for doing sake.
DeleteSo because your mother fed you 80% percent of women are breadwinner.s. did you carry out that survey yourself or you are quoting your ancestors? don't talk when you don't have fact.
DeletePoster ladies like you think they can hold a man down with pregnancy. The signs were obvious but you overlooked. so carry your cross. if you can't , then follow your heart...
ReplyDeleteit is well.
Women!! Who did this thing to us??? Self esteem, pride, common sense where are you??
ReplyDeleteHe is a child madam, just think of how you would take care of your children. And “ if it did not matter what anybody thinks, what would you rather do?”
ReplyDeletePls how can you 3 year old child be stubborn and have anger issues. 3 years old... Come on 3 years old that should still have the fear of you. even me @ 33 years if me mother as softie as she is calls me and i am doing what i will make her angry fear go catch me. I have been living alone cos of work but fear no gree me sleep outside cos of parental training. Yes i dey waka but i get boundary o . What am i saying pls train your children now!
ReplyDeleteI will advice u to leave the man alone let him go so that u can have peace of mind. All this drama is too much jare
ReplyDeleteWhat a pity. My dear the people asking you stay, no get sense oo. You want to die of HB.
ReplyDeleteSince you can take care of the babies, i would advise you look for another place to stay and take care of them.
Your horseband na banza. Allow him to go and kill himself with girls before he forced you to have sex with him if he carry disease. Na wa. What a painful read
I wonder some marriages get so bad to this extent. God heal every home
ReplyDeleteDid you read at all. This one was dead on arrival. It's not s it's the self fish individuals
DeleteDear, is only God that can serve your marriage so go on your knees and pray to God he alone can give you solutions to your problems
ReplyDeleteJust listen to yourself. No wonder the Whiteman gave your their religion now una carry am for head pass. Please leave God out of this.
DeleteStella and her comments tho.. Lol... Poster i understand ur plight but i want to ask... How old were wen you were having boyfriend bcos ur friends are having boyfriend?
ReplyDeleteOne word
ReplyDeleteLeave that godforsaken,ungrateful, dirty,slimy stupid son of a bitch.
Face your children and train them well. its obvious he is a bad influence to them. Stop being soft and toughen up. Haba na
A 6 week old has anger issues? Madam, most kids are like that. They not matured enough to control their anger. How can u cater for yourself, kids, and a grown ass man who has no respect for u or your mom? Like he slept out whilst your mom was around? Pick the little self esteem u have left, and leave. It cheaper taking care of just u,and the kids. Emotional abuse can kill...LEAVE.
ReplyDeleteNa waoooo My sister I feel your pains, you shouldn't have dated someone you know you won't get married to. 1st child, Second and third. Anyways the mistake has been made and no way to correct it because children's are involved.
ReplyDeleteMy advise for you is to pray that God should change him. Nothing he can't do. But if he continue to beat you my dear find your way.
And another question is, has he paid your dowry? If no you are free to leave him another better bobo go come because Cheating in marriage sucks, it can make one go mad, in fact you can kill just to protect your own. That's why am always telling young men and women that marriage is for the matured minds. If you are not ready for marriage don't go into it.
It is not a child's play.
What are you still doing in that bondage? He has showed you the red light countless numbers of time.
ReplyDeleteHe already assumed the kids are not his "real" kids, right? Thank God you are financially capable of taking care of the kids.
This is the time to throw in the towel and walk away from that bondage. By walking away doesn't mean the other girl(s) won, but because of your sanity and peace of mind. I read you slapped him after seeing some of his chat which he retaliated by hitting you with a fist, imagine you didn't stop after the first punch, and hit you more and harder until you pass out. What would happen to your kids?
I beg you madam, for the love of your life and your kids, please walk away. File for a divorce as soon as possible. Believe me, you will win the custody of your children with all you've written. He might want to fight back, but please don't give in.
Take your children away from the house, pack your things, including the tiniest household property you bought with your money and leave the house empty for him. You can have your lawyer deliver the divorce papers to him.
I hope I make small sense.
Well-done @bhaykins. Nice advise
DeleteToo much sense they worry you.
DeleteBest comment so far. No point bashing her. Mistakes has been made.
DeleteTen million likes😁😁😁
DeleteFight back ke? With which money? Madam leave now before either of you commit murder
DeleteSo you had 3kids in 3years to a man you dont really like. Can you just close your legs and start thinking straight
ReplyDeleteDon't mind her, and i am sure she is busy taking maternity leave up and down. In the 3 years you spent forming womb for your broke husband, who was doing your job at work?
DeleteI'm sure you were being paid salary, later you people will complain about companies that do not let you go on Mat leave more than once in 2years.
As old as you are you can open your dirty mouth and say you were forced into marriage? Did the man lie? You married him na, and I am sure that you gave him money for your wedding.
That is how the sex is sweeting you, giving birth out of control, and to crown it all for a man that detests you.
You have no shame, and you and the useless man are transferring your bad character to these kids.
Your children have anger issues? Really? A child that you are feeding has anger issues, why won't they? I'm sure all they see you people do is fight, and be angry.
I shake my head for you, to slap you dey hungry me. Fish brain!
Seriously?
DeleteMadam 3 kids in 3 years? 💪💪💪🙌🙌🙌🙌
Reasonable doubt take it easy na. Is there any marriage without crisis. Moreover no one is perfect, or are you perfect
DeleteI don't know what's wrong with you women. Must you have sex with your husband? Which one is better? Turning a blind eye to his promiscuity or leaving the marriage to start all over while denying your kids fatherly love and presence? See, you must not have sex with your husband. Close your legs and get a separate room in your flat. Tell him that until he repents and subjects himself to medical examination and at the same time accounting for all his movements and keeping his phone accessible to you, you'll have no sex with him. Focus on your children. When he's tired of messing around, he will come home. If you leave your marriage, you'll definitely crave for a man in your life at some point and how can you determine if the next man won't be worse? I've even told my fiancee this. He asked me what I'll do if he cheats on me in marriage and I frankly told him I'll stop sleeping with him. I don't believe in divorce unless my life is in danger.
ReplyDeleteYou will focus on your children abi? After you end up bitter you will now take your frustration out on them.
DeleteOr you become too attached and become the in-law that doesn't have boundaries, your children are not a cure for your marital problems. Your son is not your husband.
If you have marital issues fix it and leave your children out of it, that;s how over sabi mother in-laws are formed.
You are mad!!!!! People like you are responsible for depressed adults with their self esteem in the gutters. How can you raise kids where there is no love? Haven't you been reading chronicles on this blog? How can you subject yourself to a life time of torture only to raise kids who will become bitter adults and hate you for being a weakling. "I must marry mentality". Shame on You!
DeletePoster if you like, listen to that mad anonymous up there.
Reasonable doubt that can't reason. If you have marital problems fix it...how can you fix a cheating husband? Will you tie his penis and force him to stay at him? Some of you will just be typing rubbish in the name of comment
DeleteNobi's mum...Pele ooo. You sound like a frustrated divorcee or baby mama looking to turn others into single parents like you, otherwise you won't be shouting at someone else for stating their opinion. I would have given it to you hot but...let's leave it till you display your madness under my comment next time.
DeleteIts only women that have high self esteem that can practice what I wrote up there. Most women don't have self esteem. That's why you people go around worrying about what a man does with his penis, else you would ignore the man and be happy. You married women attach your happiness to a man. You think rushing out of the marriage will make the man remorseful? No p. Besides how many happy divorcees do you know? Tomorrow she will start calling the man and his side chicks out due to the bitterness of raising kids alone. Poster, if you like jump out of your marriage you hear.
Anonymous 18:23, you are very stupid for not reading properly. Take your illiteracy to your village I will not be responsible for your inability to read and comprehend. Onye nzuzu !
DeleteThat’s why you fail exam.
Anon 15:45
DeleteU think women are robots.
Crave for wetin na? When she can always get it from anywhere else.
Wait around for your cheating ass becoz of wat na? It's never by force to stay married to an idiot neither is it a milestone.
Actually it's women with low self-esteem like u possess that will do all what u said.
There's something called moving on to a healthy environment for one's wellbeing and the children will do just perfect. Shey na wayward drunkard wan teach pikin morals? U don't know that children practise what they see u do and not what u say?
And u are there thinking u are still in d era where men were thought to be Trophies? U better wake up and be responsible and accountable.
Your sense of entitlement is your undoing. Be a man and not a child locked up in n adult body.
Poster you are weak
ReplyDeleteYou were born weak, in fact you are a weakling. How can a man who drops no kobo, no respect yet emotional abuse you like a torn sanitary pad ijikwa anya gi ka nnoro na udi a. We all know that telling you to kick him out of your life will be the last thing you will do because of your WEAK nature but i will advice you allow him stay but act like he doesn't exist. As for your kids whom you can't control with proper mama's reset slap at this stage, i pity what befalls your future with them. Na your type dey train useless ill mannered kids full everywhere
Poster when a man cannot respect his wife or family then that man should not remain with you, I got married in 2016 and before end of 2017 I was already fed up with him, cos he came for my money,he was cheating on me with different girls, bringing them home when am not around, my neighbors all knew but nobody could talk to me about it, I use to gist or play with these women in the compound. Don't come home whenever he likes, no respect for me his wife, he starve me sex, cannot buy me gift, the things where just too much, you will see chat with other girls that he is not married or engaged.he denied our wedding pictures that we took it for an event, I met him with a woman in the house, doors was locked, light off, my bed was scattered, OMG I died and woke up. I tot I will not survive emotionally if I walk away from that abusive marriage, madam is over six months now and am so strong, I have moved on with my life, I don't even think of sex or any man. I have a job that is paying my bills, thank God you have a job that can take care of you and your kids, block your ears from advice from those who believe you must die in marriage and not enjoy marriage. Do what is in your mind and be happy, live long for your
ReplyDeletekids.
Hmmmmmm thank God for your life madam. Imagine if you had a kid with him it would have been harder to move on.
DeleteI wonder why women bring kids into an unready shaky and abusive relationship. Even if you are having sex use pills without his knowledge. Only get pregnant when the marriage is stable. Kids don't always heal a marriage like ppl believe.
I had a neighbour whose husband use to beat up. I was shook the day she was saying it in passing that she is saving to do IVF. With her own money o. A man that plummets you you're still talking of IVF.
Between 2015 and now you have gotten pregnant 3 WHOLE TIMES.
ReplyDeleteA man has not bought pampers even for the first child but you got pregnant additional 2times in this economy. So since buhari became president you have gone to Labour room 3times. A period where ppl are putting hold on their child bearing.
If it was just one child you wld have just followed your mum back home and move on with your one child. Probably remarry. Who would take in 3kids now. The cost will be much.
You are a single mother just living with a man.
That marriage is so toxic. Eventually when this man finds a richer babe he will still leave.
My only advice now hope you tied your tubes after the last baby. Tolerate till you can no longer do it. Don't know what to say.
Na only that one I see oh,3 kids in 3years Waawu!!!!!!
DeleteShe better just pack her kids and go and live with them on their own, she's just a single mom in disguise
Don’t mind her, na fuck fuck be her problem. Very brainless woman, I was just shaking my head when I was reading. No advice for you poster because you are not going anywhere, you’ll stay there no matter what anyone tells you. You too like prick, na wetin make you dey born still dey feed grown up man. This one will get pregnant twice in 1yr if care is not taken. Common sense you don’t even have, get away jor. Dirty itchy pussy pant woman.🚶🏽♀️
DeleteDon’t mind her, na fuck fuck be her problem. Very brainless woman, I was just shaking my head when I was reading. No advice for you poster because you are not going anywhere, you’ll stay there no matter what anyone tells you. You too like prick, na wetin make you dey born still dey feed grown up man. This one will get pregnant twice in 1yr if care is not taken. Common sense you don’t even have, get away jor.
DeleteMy concern is the children not respecting you. It is probably because of how they see their dad treat you. You carried them for 9months and gave birth to them. You better put them in line and let them know who is boss. Ditch softness at this point or else they will get worse
ReplyDeleteYou got married in September 2015 and this is may 2018,less than 3yrs and you have 3 kids? Ma, I hope you know you don't need the signature of your husband to start family planning? You are putting your body under too much stress. No rest. Haba
ReplyDeleteAnyway, back to the matter, can you separate for a while? Like go some where for some months until he decides to stop being a dead beat dad. I don't get why you are under his roof and he does all the things you can do if you aren't under his roof.
You need to go some where and then give him conditions like him taking responsibility of his kids welfare, home and other things that needs to be done.
Your children don't have anger issues. They are quite small. You can't say that for kids who are less than 2yrs. Kids always have that one parent they listen to and one they don't listen to. My kids listen to me more than they listen to their dad because when I say I'll flog you, they know I'm not joking. But when my husbands say it, they know he is joking
Seconded @ your last paragraph..
DeleteMy friends are having boyfriends, let me have
ReplyDeleteMy friends are getting their vj pounded, let mine be pounded . . .
My friends are having kids and getting married, let me have . . .
My friends are going to church (without making Jesus their Lord, without repenting of their sins), let me go . . .
My friends are divorcing, let me divorce . ..
When will you ever do things because of you; because you are convinced??
Women, woe men! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!
Poster, don't worry, it will end well.concentrate on your children,pray and instill discipline in them.live with that man as a room mate for now. Get yourself stable emotionally since you are financially stable. If he doesn't make the home habitable and convenient for you and the kids after some time, I advise you leave such toxic marriage.
ReplyDeleteThis is typical example of married for the wrong reason..the earlier u leave dat environment with ur kids the beta
ReplyDeleteMen have been disgracing me since 1802..
ReplyDeletePoster u are too weak for my liking,you can't make decision alone,u need people to decide for u or will I say u are so dependent.
Pls send this nasty folk away from ur enclave,he needs to get to know the reason for his existence and ur actions alone can do that, don't say cuz u have kids for him ...ogbeni,,,le lere
Mc pinky
Las las everything will be fine.Madam you need to stay calm and collected in that house.Just for the sake of ur kids since they respect their dad more than you,they actually need to be afraid of one of you but since you are not the one,allow their dad to instill discpline since thats the only thing he can offer.Devote more time to church activities after work,i bet you will find happiness there.Let him be and stop disturbing yourself over his animal behaviour.He will still come back to his senses later in life.pls stop any form of bedroom activity with him.
ReplyDeleteSomeone should help me o,i want to have my ID
An alcoholic will instill discipline in the children. Just listen to yourself. "Mrs" title kee you there.
DeleteWhat exactly can he teach those kids??
DeleteHow it's ok to disrespect his spouse and refuse to provide for his family? You want his irresponsibility to pass on to his children abi?
Poster. God doesn't like divorce, I wouldn't advice you to leave. Just focus on your children and yourself for now. Ignore this man completely abeg before you kill yourself. The intention from the beginning wasn't genuine that's why the problem in your home is serious. The foundation is faulty however, you can start by asking for mercy and forgiveness from God, then move further for God to come into your home. You shall overcome in Jesus name amen. Don't fight with him again just leave him alone While you are silent to him, persevere in the place of prayer.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot to add watch war room.
DeleteNonsense and ingredients
madam you 're better move out of that marriage since u earn a lot....u married a gigolo guy yet u had 3kids for him?? did u tink you can change him?is just like a prostitute they can never change even after married they would still do runs.u even said he never bought even a diaper before...then why staying in that bondage??? I pity you. some men are just too stupid
ReplyDeleteMadam in as much as you can take care of yourself and your kids, you need to leave the boy cos his not yet a man. Your parents can't advice you to stay with him if you open up to them... Let me ask you, why won't he carry women when you take-up all his responsibilities? My sister you're married to yourself.
ReplyDeleteSilly crawfish brain woman, my only concern is the innocent children you are bringing into this world. Giving birth like a sewer rat, better go and get family planning..if we check now I’m sure you are already pregnant. I can’t tell you to leave because that gigolo’s prick is still sharking your seconds’ brain. Do whatever you want but pls STOP 🛑 bringing kids into that toxic environment. Follow follow, you lack common sense. tueh!
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteI can't laugh abeg,sewer rat. Who even has 3kids in this our present Nigeria. Na 1/2 people dey born now. My boss that is an executive,the husband too is a top shot in the bank. They have been married almost 20yrs. They have just 2boys in school abroad now. She said that was what her husband insisted on. Just 2 kids whether boy or girl.
And trust me they can afford to have 10.
See how you that is struggling is giving birth yearly. Chaiiiiiiiiii
Better go tie those tubes. I don't mean to be rude. But put a stop to child bearing. You can then face your work,your 3kids and how you will save and leave that marriage.
Madam,3kids in 3 years?
ReplyDeleteYea,Children are gifts from God but you don't access the gifts once na.
That is why you are confuse, you didn't plan well.(I still give it to you o,you are strong)
Yes,I also believe marriage is for better or worse excluding cases of domestic violence.
Madam,you are buoyant if you can cope living with him,then do but if you are not,give him space for sometime. In a case like this I don't believe in'walking away'.
If you can,live with him,don't complain again,just act like he doesn't exist even when he's around. Just for your kids and your sound health.
Now,me Gee-z believe in giving kids punishments.Like doing dishes for one week,cleaning everyone's footwear in the house,refilling jug while eating and water runs
out etc.Yes, it's been working for me.
~~~Gee-z
You're the man of the house, keep performing your duty. You choose
ReplyDeletean irresponsible man so carry your cross. Happy married life.
Darrisall!!!
Delete3kids in the space of 3yrs, nnem please how did you do it?
ReplyDeleteDivorce the dude for your sanity sake.
Kids are supposed to be stubborn with anger issues. From the womb, they come out entitled, screaming and demanding for breast. There's no child that will just come out and be automatically mellow and obedient. They will test you to see how far they can go with disrespecting you. The moment you put your feet down you will start seeing changes almost immediately. Learn how to use a slim tiny cane on the fleshy part of the body like the buttocks and palms. Raise your voice and use your eyes to eye them in an evil way. Don't allow them complain or select food. E.g., :I don't like pomo in my draw soup.
ReplyDeleteThey must keep quiet when eating, they must refer to you as "ma" when they are answering you. Not just yes, but "yes ma".
Let them say thank you when you tell them to stand up after serving punishment. It will not break them, it will make them.
But don't be a cold parent. Tell them you love them. Gist and still play pranks with them.
Save money, get a Masters, learn a new trade or open a shop.
Get an extra lesson teacher to teach them only mathematics. All the high income jobs of these days, you need mathematics to study the courses in the university.
Be a smart mother. Don't go and do mumu for those children till they turn to touts in future.
Leave that man.
Madam you already made the biggest mistake of your life, just concentrate on taking care of your kids, forget that the man exist around you.
ReplyDeleteDear poster first you have to makeup your mind to leave,if you know that when you leave and your hubby comes begging you would go back to him then dont bother leaving instead behalf like a single woman with a man who is like a piece of furniture, take care of your kids love them provide fr them go for family planning no more kids again stop giving him money stop shielding him let your family see him for who he is, last last you wear the shoe and know where it hurts when you have had enough no one would tell you what to do
ReplyDeleteSeparate, you don't have to jump to divorce. He is probably just as miserable as you are because neither of you were in love when you got married, you got married out of duty. Now, three children later the screen is being pulled to the side. Truth is, people who started off deeply in love end up divorced just the same, love does not really guarantee anything because ppl do change as they get older. A separation will allow both of you to be apart and sort out your feelings. I thank God that you are financially stable and have the means to support yourself and your children, this is so different from the chronicles we usually get. Save and invest well. He needs to go out there an be a man, with the separation he will be forced to fend for himself and you will be able to save more. If after the separation you both decide that the marriage is not worth it then go your separate ways. You knew he was a player who was looking for a woman to take care of his financial need, and it does not seem that marriage and children has changed his personality at all. I wish you and the children all the best.
ReplyDeleteThe mistake you made was marry him sha... this is the same time daddy freeze is saying but some idiots will come and insult him all in the name of religion. Religion and family won't help you keep your home, that one is between you,Your partner and God. Funny enough you still got pregnant 2 times after the first one😑😑. Lemme leave it here biko
ReplyDelete