Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

WICKED PARENTS

Good day Stella.

 I'm broken and confused and don't know who to run to. All my life I've been fighting depression. And this is thanks to my parents. They make life so meaningless that I've always fought to make something out of mine.

 I'm lost with where to even begin to explain things to you because its long, shitty and unreal. Its unbelievable what life has been like for me and my siblings. I'm lost, even though deep down inside me, I'm hopeful I'll see that lighted tunnel some day, but oh, I just don't know.

 My parents are evil Stella. 

They don't want their children to grow or succeed, they want to keep us on leash forever just to tend to their own selfish ego. Home is supposed to be for succour and protection, but ours is the exact opposite and I'm still stuck here. 

The only thing i'm useful to them for is chores, not like this is big deal, but its weird they don't want us to grow simply because of that, and they're so satisfied with that. No matter how much of yourself you give, they'll still talk you down and make you feel worthless. 

With them, You never say or get anything right. My father will always say "do what we want, not what you want", " you can never be right about anything". 

My mum is an enabler. They'll do everything to abuse you emotionally, strip you of your confidence that you dare not state your case and I'm battling this socially, I can't freely express myself cos I've this constant reminder in my head I'll always spew trash. And when you force yourself to breakout, they'll curse you because to them, you disobeyed their orders to sit and try to fend for yourself. 

They prefer that we continue to look up to them for the tiny drops they give and still despise and condemn you for it and still tell you how much of a failure you are. They'll tell you they don't expect nothing from you anyway. Threaten to even stop giving the bits they give ( in school, i survived on 2/5k per month n paying my fees were hell) all just to keep you on the leash. 

And unfortunately, whatever we try our hands, out of pressure n lack of support, crashes and you just have to go back home. And whatever money you could gather, they'll "borrow" from you till you're stripped and then begin to spite you.

Last time I wrote to you, everyone asked me to leave home. But I can't leave to the streets, our lives have been lived in exile without friends/ family as to say I've someone to go to.

 I don't want to make this sound like a sub story (I hope its not looking like one already). I honestly need help to move out of here before I finally lose my sanity. I've got savings (from my service year), but its no where near capable to help me get a place. 

So my sis could survive in school, she got messed up big time. I saw that and desperately held on not to let that happen to me. Suicide is never the answer is what I tell myself each time the depression begins to sit too deep, its a trick of the devil and I'm determined to rise above it without hurting my soul or my body.