STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BORING BOYFRIEND
Hi BVs . I met a guy some months back . I decided to go into a relationship after a long while as I am not getting younger But I do not know if I am in love with this guy . We hardly see .I can count the number of times I see him due to the nature of our jobs .We stay in the same state.
I am not getting that love spark I desire in a relationship. I do not get butterflies in my belly. My heart does not melt when I see him . I do not dreamily stare into his eyes . Are these all lies? When you love a guy ,don't you experience all this ? What I feel for him is not love but friendship. How do I fall in love with him? He is a cool person . And I am running out of conversations with him .
I am tired of "how was your day" every time . I try to bring in conversations and I hope he tries to as well .I also get the feeling he is not the romantic type . I just want to experience that beautiful love I read about while in school then .
And I love to spend time physically than through calls or chats . I like surprises .Come to my side since he closes earlier than me . Besides he has more free time than me .Let's have a surprise dinner ,let us go to parks ,beach ,let us have picnics ;maybe that will make me fall in love . But I don't want to be the one always making these suggestions to him .
Men,if you love a woman, won't you want to go extra miles for her . I feel he might be a great guy though not perfect but I wish he pushes for this more instead of saying you love me everyday .I can't wait this long and end up having a boring relationship .
Please bvs ,what can you advice?Stella , I just have to pour out my mind .Thanks
*Not every man is like the other when it comes to things like this...If you can push the spark to happen in the relationship,what is stopping you and why are you complaining?why is creating fun in your relationship such a big deal?would you rather have it the other way where he forces things on you?
My dear,please find Joy in planning and having him come along.....
Otherwise make you drop him contact here,someone will love him the way he is oh..LOL
Stop dreaming of a mills and boons kinda of man/relationship. Not everyman would be that. If you dont want him I advise you leave walk put jejely.
ReplyDeleteM & B kind of men exist, trust me, ive been dating one for 2yrs now, maybe the poster has ezperienced a higher level of love & romance in her past.
DeleteErm. You are not in a relationship but whatever the word is that people call such . Stop making excuses for him. This is the start of the relationship he should show more concern maybe not how you expect not he should care not “how was your day” also irrespective of his job, he should be trying to make time to see you more or hasten the whole process of what you two have going on. A man that cares, would long for your presence.
DeleteNext, everyone respond to differently to love languages. He needs to learn yours, and you need to learn his. If he isn’t trying to learn yours, again OYO! And vice Versa
Finally, You really do not have a case here. If you feel this way based on his attitude practice my suggestion above, but do not expect to feel butterflies, you will only feel constipated if you hope.
Thanks @15:24.
DeleteWhen you have experienced some kind of love it's hard for you to settle for anything, trust me.
My fiance is a hopeless romantic abd he loves love, he is so expressive, mentally stimulating and a great conversationalist.
He honestly spoils me silly and he respects me too much.
We had a misunderstanding at one point, we broke up then met another guy.
This guy was irritatingly boring and vapid, gosh I tried spicing it up but for where, he refused to blend.
A big dumbo, you might jokingly say "are you pregnant"?, when he complained of being tired, and yeye guy would reply "am a guy,hello", instead of something in the line of "yes ooo na you impregnate me nau six months gone ooo" and we laugh it off.
He was so bland I spewed him out after two weeks of dating.
Thank God friends interference was curbed and my man came back to me. Sister if you know you can't cope please leave him for someone has boring as he is.
Such men exist darling. My husband is one of them. Romantic to the core.
DeleteI have a friend in her 30s who met a guy similar to what you have described. This one is all about his work and is very successful. He works for Google in the U.K.
DeleteBut this guy has no friends,isn't social. He's all about his work work work. Meanwhile my friend has lots of friends and is social.
Luckily he is very generous.
She had to start planning trips for them. Outings etc and he's gradually coming out of his shell.
She still does her own socializing with her friends and leaves him at home.
I encouraged her you can't have a full package. So far he is a hardworking good man,which he is and very generous. All the bad boys and party boys she dated all got her no where and she is turning 35 soon.
They are presently on a trip to Dubai for her birthday which she planned and he paid. I even think he may propose soon.
You need to bring out the fun in some people.
Actually there are kind of love like what’s she’s looking for o! I dated one girl before and mehnn we had to advise ourselves to slow down on calls as it was getting too much.
DeleteNaturally I flow well with women o but this particular girl is just special. I don’t know but we sha broke up cus I had to travel and paper runs is not an easy something. I haven’t met anyone like her again.
Although I get spark in all my relationships, I am just blessed, all the women I have ever ever dated are wonderful women. Like every single one of them are just so wonderful and beautiful but my irinkurin always spoil things. I however haven’t found that thing in any other lady. Her own is not spark, it’s fire blazing explosion
Talk to him and if he is set in his ways you don't need to stay with him
ReplyDeleteToo much indian movie dey worry you..
DeleteMaybe you should find another man who meets your criteria in a man.
DeleteSo what you are saying is you want man that will be tor-tor-ing you ??
ReplyDeleteYou better get serious.. Lol
Nnuku if you dont have advise pls just read comments.
DeletePls leave my nnuku alone ooo..
DeleteEverybody has right to their opinions
Lol@drop his contact here....hey! Stella you be werey!
ReplyDeletestella and her nonsense everyday advice.I tire abeg
ReplyDeleteYou have been reading too many Mills and Boone novels. You better snap out of the mindset. 98% of Nigerian Men are not romantic. Look for the most important qualities you want in a man or if you feel he’s now what you want, take a walk.
ReplyDeletestella i no dey understand ur advice sometimes... if he doesnt give her d kinda spark shes lukin 4 let her find another man... my dear believe me u will cheat on him... go n satisfy ur urge n wen ur ready for a serious relationshp u will see n want tinz differently.
ReplyDeleteYou have been reading too many Mills and Boone novels. You better snap out of the mindset. 98% of Nigerian Men are not romantic. Look for the most important qualities you want in a man or if you feel he’s now what you want, take a walk.
ReplyDeleteMy dear..
DeleteI was once in this shoe...
Honestly I never got to date him but from him asking me out and all..not a single spark..abeg I no date despite friends telling me I will love him eventually.
I waited it out and today I am with someone who makes butterflies go gaga in my stomach and just the thoughts of him make me wet.
If you can manage him oh well and if not let him go for someone who will appreciate his efforts and yours will come
Babe if you love him make it work, but if you don't just free him...when I was single I had really good romantic relationship but my husband isn't all that, but because I love him I had to work on it and I am satisfied..stop creating pictures unnecessary in your head sometimes you have to start the romantic thing yourself and befor you know it you will love how things will turn out.
DeleteThere's nothing wrong if you bring in the spark/fun in the relationship. We are all different
ReplyDeleteLol @drop his contact here. Stella you are the real adviser.
ReplyDelete@ Poster why not make the first move and see how it goes..
ReplyDeleteMay be he is a shy type because some men are shy or he is afraid to spies the r/ship.
Please spies it in your own little way.Anything can happen..
Hahahaha
ReplyDeleteA wise caucasian therapist said to me " The person who loves the least in a relationship is the person who controls it"... he was right!
ReplyDeleteSome guys arent built with that romantic bone in them, but are willing to learn, depending on how much youre cherished... dont throw out the baby with the bath water just yet, he might just need to be placed in the right dirction for sunlight & water to bloom, if not let him go bloom in someother persons garden like the Acrimony lady, but if that happens dont get jealous, count ur lose & cash your cheque.
😂😂😂 I rushed for youryou comments coz I wanted to laugh...wise egyptian, wise chinese etc😂😂😂
DeleteYes oh...
DeleteA wise European inventor said to me "Youre a product of your environment, surround yourself with the best"... he was right!!
What of wise Nigerian naa...
DeleteDon't go and carry belle because of your are not getting younger or desperate..
ReplyDeleteGod fix it for you..
Best of luck.
U said he is cool,don't loose a cool guy over something you couldav changed,COMMUNICATION is key,if u want sparks then make it,send romantic messages,chat dirty sometimes,laugh a lot and then u will see that visitations will increase!!!
ReplyDeletemy dear, a boring man is a boring man... na follow come.
DeleteI know what shes going through, ive dated one in the past.
Even when you try they will not appreciate it, and just kill your spirit
Stella who you want to dash boring boyfriend to. Abeg no be my people here.
ReplyDeleteGirl add sparkling lager beer
Poster if you don't add spices obyour relationship who will?you are the one to spice up your relationship. Have you spoken o your man about the things that turns you up? He may think you are OK with his way of life,I think you need to talk with your man,if your man lack swa,gyou can add swagg to your relationship and stop complaining.
ReplyDeleteJust as you've expressed your self here, do same with him. Create that surprise, take him out too but let him know how you feel and if he still doesn't change after giving it some time, then walk.
ReplyDeletePoster u are the only one dat can spark up ur relationship. So do the needful
ReplyDeleteButterflies in your stomach?
ReplyDeleteHeart melting?
VJ dripping?
All these na stories . . . Just come clean
and tell us that "the man is not loaded and is
not abroad" . . .once the above two conditions are
met, not only butterflies, even airplane will be flying
in your tummy. In fact, you would have had your tummy
ballooned like weather balloon tee tee. You for don
propose to am since.
Story!
Louder! !!! Louder!! . My dear most Nigeria men are not romantic!! I was reading zodiac sign today. Omg! My guy is libra. Indecisive people, moody. Lazy and hv fear of trying new things. From the way I see tinz the guy no won work.at 32 u no get house. Job and u are not thinking or trying to get better. Am moving on. So do same if u are not happy😎
Delete@17:05 did poster tell you the guy is jobless?
DeleteYou are not in love with him. Date him more. But if you are not in love with him, please let him go. Don't marry into a loveless marriage. It will be frustrating to live a lifelong time with someone you do not love.
ReplyDeleteThose kind of men make the best husbands
ReplyDeleteThey are loyal,sturdy and don't get easily carried away by bells and whistles.
You sound a bit naive (no insult intended). Talking about butterflies in your tummy? Really?
Not even a mention of serious qualities u should look out for like dependability, honesty, support, respect etc.
These things you are looking for will fade away in a marriage.
Look for friendship in your partner.
Look for things that matter.
Lol..shes looking for achana and priyanka kinda romantic love...butterflies, candle n red roses in her bed, while he bathes her with lavender scented water.
DeleteHahahaha. The poor baby.... shes looking for butterflies. While some of us are looking at money in the bank and prospects.
DeleteThank u RSL and bb .
DeletePoster be serious o ! Lmao
lol . I just want to experience a beautiful love story
DeleteYou are a HUGE joker. Clearly you know absolutely nothing about relationships. Like who writes this??? The only way what you wrote is acceptable is if you are under 21, otherwise you are extremely naive and a joker and you should exit that relationship. As old as you are you cannot tell the difference between infatuation, limerence, love and friendship? A relationship develops, it doesn't just exist! It is those who are infatuated and are consumed by lust that their relationship starts out "burning in passion." Every person who has built a successful relationship knows this. Sister you are immature or willfully ignorant, I really don't know. Anyway break up with the guy. You certainly are not ready. When you are ready you would know that the best relationship are the ones that emanate from friendships.
ReplyDeleteThank you .
DeleteI hope she takes this advice word for word .
I told her to get serious up there and someone came for me.
I no get power to type epistles, but now that you did , I hope she gets it
abeg if you and Nnuku accepts any kind of man that comes, not all women do... If i dont feel that connection to you i cant date you... Clearly nnuku will accept any form as long as he seems good and not jobless, thats for you! O should jump into a man i dont have feelings for, then 2mr im tempted to cheat.
Delete@annon so which of the paragh of the dialogue I wrote did you see she should jump into a man she didn't have feelings for ..
DeleteLet me tell you a short story , I have a friend let me say t there was a guy wooing her and she is dating , a man like what this poster described , she said the dude was boring , no spark, no melting like ice, bla bla bla .. Long story short , she let the guy go and met the one that was taking her up and down and made her melt like ice . well when dude was done with her he let her go, she started lookin for the boring boy she left but guy was outta the country by then , she started calling and disturbing the guy but for where , few months after her calls she saw wedding pictures of the guy and his wife online .. Well he got married to another lady inbtwn all the while she was begging and she almost mad .. She is 34 now and still doesn't have a boyfriend .. Well she is way older than me .
What I am saying to the poster is , if you see a good man keep him don't loose him ..
Look for serious qualities in a man , Godfearing , hardworking , honest and the rest .. Spice things up a little yourself and gbam . u have your dream man
And if it is butterflies and Indian film love you are looking for .. I wish you all the best ..
Who is the say the one he married is lucky? Kmt
DeleteThank you ooooh @nnuku. This thing happens all the time.
DeletePoster.. you never know the value of what you have until you lose it or dump it.
ReplyDeleteNot all men are like that poster!! Don't be carried away by all these...you can't get all PLZZ!! Some men are so romantic but they cheat slot,my neighbor and his wife will make you want to marry today today,his so romantic ,but his cheating no be here,.make the wife just travel small,u see him in action,carrying girls codedly. Poster ,ur man is not that kind of man ,is better you start initiating it if u so desire to experience all these things..try your best and see if your man can change abit ,but if he did not...you do wetin dey your mind but remember not all men are romantic.
ReplyDeleteNooo. Leave her. He will romance you and romance everyone outside
DeleteThe choice is yours.
ReplyDeleteBut note that, tomorrow if you come back here to complain about your not loving this man as a husband, same people here will ask you what you did during the dating period.
I presume he isn't the last man on earth?
Same thing am experiencing in my relationship, my boyfriend is soooooo not romantic and very boring, plus he is very dirty and disgusting, I am in a relationship where nothing excites me not even sex because even the sex sef is like punishment, all he does is just to open my legs and chook, nothing like foreplay or kissing because I stopped kissing him a long time ago due to terrible mouth odour, I really want to leave the relationship but I don't know how, each time I try to leave he still forces himself back into my life, ur own even better small, manage
ReplyDeleteOmg!! You cnt be in hell on earth .pls run. Yuk
DeleteNnah eh,ds kind talk sef. Is d relationship by force, pls walk away am even disgusted on ur behalf sef
DeleteMy God we are on the same boat. I've just been praying he gets tired, I don't call neither do I initiate conversations..
Deletestay there oh till u carry belle
Delete@17:34 🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteSo what's holding u? Money or jazz?
DeleteMadam Telemundo, be looking for who to give you hibiscus flower every morning with electric spark to melt your heart. If you start complaining like this, what will Aisha Buhari say in the other room? Maybe you're fed up & want to jump ship...
ReplyDeleteHahaaaaha.. This frankool sef
DeleteHibiscus 🤣🤣🤣
DeleteDear poster i am exactly like you and i must say do not take your feelings for granted cos you are not asking for too much. For me i love a man that can hold a good conversation, make me laugh, if you are a man who hates to call we can't deal. I love a man who is playful, loves PDA, kindness personified, lets go out come around me too, ask for my opinion, gist me about your every day that's why i said i am exactly like you and i have met men who if they do not meet all but at least 80%. A boring man is an emotional killer for me and i don't think you love him. For you to see it for all it's worth you don't love him. He is a different kind of breed and would kill your drive. My dear if the sparks are not there no need faking or Trying to force it to develop. He is himself if you truly can't deal my dear walk. My dear ignore people who say it's Mills and Boom na lie. Everyone has a type he is not your type on to the next except you want to manage.
ReplyDeleteOh dear...I hate PDA...jeez, keep ur kisses for d bedroom.
Delete@bb 🤣🤣🤣 Okay. So I'm not from Jupiter then. PDA ko, PDF ni!!!
DeleteWhy not try and show him? Why not be the one to ignite that romantic spark. My dear, some people are like reactionists in relationships. What you give them is what they give back, what they apply is what they know from previous experience. While youre seating waiting for them to act they are standing waiting for you to show them.
ReplyDeleteE.g Send him a message: can we go to the beach to cool off after work? If he says no, then you can say you have a problem. If yes, buy plenty suya and wine, ask him to pick you up. Sit down and cuddle and act as if you really appreciate the time he took to 'bring you' here. Gist non-existent gist. Dont you know how to make a man gist with you? You can turn a 'have you eaten' guy to a hopeless amebor that will be gossiping about a his neighbours dog with you. You dont know? Ok! You too try surprise him with lunch and see if he wont send flowers.
Na wa oh! All these people who want to be in relationship but dont know jack about relationships and people management. You sound like a wet blanket, biko practice what you preach.
Chikito, you havent met ppll that dont bend, pray not to....
DeleteIf you bring up gist, it'd die faster than what i dont know.. to contribute sef na wahala, you'd tell a long gist that he'd contribute and aso ask questions, but you'd just be hearing "eiyahh" "na wa o" "pele".... or if u drag him out for a date or hangout, the way they will be keeping a straigt face eh u wont try that for the 2nd time.
@17:42 lol. Madam... I am the queen of dating 'boring' guys up to a point that I am asked how i do it. Cos they are usually impeccably intelligent, unaware of how handsome they are and fully focused on me 😁😁💁♂️ So when you date such guys, some things have to give - you cant eat your cake and have it. They wont be as romantic or as sabinus as the swaggalicious party hoppers who spend all day trying to catch women, because its not just their 'thing' to be ambitious over vagina. You have to show them a lot of things, sometimes even how to combine clothes sef and have small swag. Now if the guy is too proud to learn, then he has a personality issue and should be left alone. Cos a relationship is about meeting each other half way.
DeleteMe i dont like swag romantic guys oh! Amongst my circle of friends we dont even recommend all those men that 'sabi sabi' it all. Give me that introvert/nerd who just lives his life to make money. I will show him the rest from there 😎 and have him wrapped around my little finger 😈
Now I see why you people are always shouting 'men are scum'. Some of us are looking out for boyfriend tendencies too much. Infact if a guy is too romantic, he should be a suspect.
You want Maje Ayida type.... be like rat wey dey chop person leg dey blow am cool breeze.
DeleteUse romance and finish you. Then use romance and finish side chic. Then all of you will be fighting, then he will go to gym and be building muscles. Hehehehehehehe.
Louder chikito .. Loud loud loud .
DeleteImagine someone like mark (Facebook owner)
They will later see women that get married to such men and be tapping up and down ..
U nailed it.
DeleteInfact @nnuku you nailed it!! Mark zuck is a perfect example👌 see naaau... chinco don carry am go
DeleteDear poster i am exactly like you and i must say do not take your feelings for granted cos you are not asking for too much. For me i love a man that can hold a good conversation, make me laugh, if you are a man who hates to call we can't deal. I love a man who is playful, loves PDA, kindness personified, lets go out come around me too, ask for my opinion, gist me about your every day that's why i said i am exactly like you and i have met men who if they do not meet all but at least 80%. A boring man is an emotional killer for me and i don't think you love him. For you to see it for all it's worth you don't love him. He is a different kind of breed and would kill your drive. My dear if the sparks are not there no need faking or Trying to force it to develop. He is himself if you truly can't deal my dear walk. My dear ignore people who say it's Mills and Boom na lie. Everyone has a type he is not your type on to the next except you want to manage.
ReplyDeletewhy not just have a conversation with him. Tell him the things u would like him to be doing and also listen to what he would like u to do also plus making a relationship fun is not only the work the man
ReplyDeletena follow come attitude be that.... no amount of talk will help
DeleteMine pours saliva in my mouth and calls it kissing.
ReplyDeleteJesus save me!
OMG. Jesus will really save you
DeleteEwww....
DeleteLol
DeleteHeeeeei....jehova ekuru nwa jor...hahahaa dunno what the heck that is.
Deletelol.. what sort of anointing is that
DeleteOnce I met a man.... Not so romantic but spir filled. I searched for the sparks but found none. We went ahead with the marriage plans and today we are separated. The sparks never came, rather we lived as strangers
ReplyDeleteDear poster, if somewhere deep down, you feel this ain't right, if you are a helplessly romantic somebody, please call this offNOW. Otherwise, you just might end up like me.
Divorced with a long chain of regrets.
Forever is too long to live in misery
Dear poster i am exactly like you and i must say do not take your feelings for granted cos you are not asking for too much. For me i love a man that can hold a good conversation, make me laugh, if you are a man who hates to call we can't deal. I love a man who is playful, loves PDA, kindness personified, lets go out come around me too, ask for my opinion, gist me about your every day that's why i said i am exactly like you and i have met men who if they do not meet all but at least 80%. A boring man is an emotional killer for me and i don't think you love him. For you to see it for all it's worth you don't love him. He is a different kind of breed and would kill your drive. My dear if the sparks are not there no need faking or Trying to force it to develop. He is himself if you truly can't deal my dear walk. My dear ignore people who say it's Mills and Boom na lie. Everyone has a type he is not your type on to the next except you want to manage.
ReplyDeleteOkay! Ive marked your ID. If i see you type 'men are scum' on this blog any day, you will know the rest. Romance and playful... come am i from jupiter? 🤣🤣
DeleteThe guy may be somewhere complaining that your aren't romantic as well. You want a romantic guy, but are you romantic? If you are, take the lead. If not, stop complaining.
ReplyDeleteChocolate you are so funny and what you said may be the gospel truth
Deletewarris all dis na.... Stella why are u not posting my comment.
ReplyDeleteAm in your shoe right now.To me he is just there, am a virgin he claim he is a virgin too. He is very boring to me, anytime we cuddle or kiss he feel guilty afterwards. For me there is no spark he can't even peck me outside. He is always talking about marriage I dont know if I can go down this path with him. Am 27 and I think age is not on my side, I just don't want to be miserable in marriage after keeping myslef.
ReplyDeleteYou see that "age is not on my side" mentality? Quickly crush it.
DeleteEyahh... he sounds so cute 😍😍😍😍
DeleteDont stone me oh 🤣🤣🤣🤣 you say age isnt on your side baby gyal but time is 😎😎🤘
Anon,that's it. I am the poster.I feel age isn't on my side as well . I am a virgin but he is not. I want to keep myself till marriage . But I don't want to end up with someone I don't have feelings for .
Deletelol. The republic of virginarians. Una no go test run una package ba. Na life time contract o
DeleteAttraction is nice but how is this man's character. Study him instead of focusing on the beach. My ex used romance to scatter my head but he is a monster. You also do not have to settle for anyone. Age is always on your side. You can marry at 20 and wait until you are 40 before God decides you should birth a child. Don't settle and be miserable.
ReplyDeleteBuahhaha @monster ex. I just gave a name up there. Dem plenty oh... 'romancers association' that cant live up to expectation in character.
Deleteehnn All those romantic fellows are dangerous o. They will use romance block prsn destiny mean while they are deadly. i once had 1 abeg real niggas are the best
DeleteThis is what happens when a woman watches too much Indian movies
ReplyDeletelol.. prissy u are a comedian
DeleteStella ,thank you so much . I actually thought you have forgotten about my chronicle . May God bless you .I will read all the comments and I will make my decision . Thanks to all bvs that commented .I appreciate you all
ReplyDeleteMaybe he's not that into you
ReplyDelete