Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm!!!!

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

A MUST READ STORY


Hi Stella I'm a regular visitor of your blog, and someone who battled depression for years and won. I just want to share an experience i had recently. It's a long read but worth it.. Don't know where it fits, but you can share as appropriate.


So this lady sat adjacent to me at my consulting table. We exchanged pleasantries. She was a familiar face. After taking a deep breath, she laid the complaints for her 5 year old daughter.. Almost reciting it like she had rehearsed it. Everything suggested an upper respiratory infection, so I prescribed the routine medications. 

I had other patients waiting at the reception hall and I was impatient to have them all attended to in time. I made a gesture by putting down my pen to suggest the consultation was over and even bellowed to the nurse to usher in the next patient. She was reluctant to leave and seemed uneasy. "I've seen this before" I thought to myself. Those patients that want to optimize their "FaceTime" with the doctor by relating every single perceived health problem they have encountered in recent time.

 I had just finished a 48 hour shift and my coworker was running late. I was tired and just wanted to go home to take a warm bath. I sighed and reluctantly asked her if there was any other thing I could do for her. Then, without any warning, this lady broke down crying profusely.


I found myself consoling this lady who I thought looked, every inch, the picture of health and vitality. What could be the problem? For about five minutes the tears kept rolling down hot and fast as I tried to inquire the reason for the sudden breakdown. Her daughter seemed as confused as I was. She was by her side also trying to make heads or tails of the whole situation. She did her best to console her mother. As the tears reduced in volume I was able to gather that she had just lost her mother and was facing some challenges at work. Her husband wasn't also with her to provide the necessary emotional support. 

He had left the country to seek greener pastures abroad with plans of bringing his family over later. I continued interviewing her. Then, she made a statement I probably should have taken more seriously. In her words: "Anytime I am passing the 3rd mainland bridge, I feel the urge to stop the car, get out and jump into the lagoon, so I can end it all". I was startled, and for the first time I took a good look at her, not looking for signs of illness but looked deeply into her eyes to see the things her mouth were not telling me. In her eyes I saw a deep sadness. One I was all too familiar with. A sadness I had spent years trying to overcome. In a way I saw myself, the way I was for years, and for the first time in a long while that sadness fell upon me again. 

This lady was depressed and she needed help. Or at least to talk to someone. I did what every general practitioner is trained to do in situations like this. I referred her to see a psychiatrist. But was this enough? I didn't have much time to ponder over this because I could hear other patients clamoring outside the consulting room trying to know why she was taking so long with the doctor. At that very moment also, my colleague walked in with an apologetic look on his face trying to explain something about the gridlock that morning.

 The lady hurriedly wiped the tears from her eyes put on a brave face and walked outside the consulting room like nothing just happened. If u hadn't witnessed what had just taken place you would have had trouble believing it if you were told.

My intention was to hurriedly meet the lady in the parking lot to get her number. If not for anything, to call to check up on her. I officially handed over duties to my colleague and made my way to the parking lot but she was no where to be found. I waited around a little longer and when it was obvious I had missed her, i drove home. As the week went by i couldnt help worrying about her. 

Fortunately she came back to the clinic again that week for her other daughter who seemed to have caught the flu from her sister, and this time I didn't waste the opportunity to collect her number. She said she hadnt been able to see the psychiatrist because of the pressure of work. I inquired about how she was feeling and she just said "fine". Something told me she wasn't and I made a mental note to call her when I got home. I didn't.


Fast forward to a week later I was preparing to go to work on a Monday morning. I was brushing my teeth and my wife was on her phone reading aloud from Facebook. She narrated how a woman with a black SUV and a Magodo estate sticker had jumped into the Lagoon from the 3rd mainland bridge. My stomach tightened and my heart skipped a beat.. Could it be?.

 I knew the lady drove a black SUV. I also gathered from her case file that she stays in the Magodo estate. I Immediately exited the bathroom. I don't know what my face looked like but my wife immediately grew concerned when she saw the expression on my face. I relayed my fears to her and she encouraged me to call the lady's number. So with hands shaking I scrolled my phone contacts to her number and hit send. First response: "The number is switched off", by now I was already dizzy and my palms were sweaty." It's probably the network, try it again", my wife encouraged me. Second response: "the number is not responding". I was breathless at this point but I decided to try her number one last time and surprisingly it rang. Third response : (female voice picks up the phone) Hello Doctor it's not me that jumped off the third mainland bridge ooo!!! 

I know that's why you are calling me this morning". If it were possible to die of relief I would have... I laughed and almost cried. As we continued talking and I inquired more about her state of health, I felt a huge pang of guilt, and a million questions filled my mind. What if she was the one? Didnt the woman who died have anybody to talk to? How could I have helped her? Why didn't I call her like I wanted to? How can i help those around me? I knew the answer to the question of why didn't I call. And it was this reason that filled me up with guilt. And it was simply because it wasn't convenient. 

Somebody died probably because it wasn't convenient for someone to check up on her and inquire about her well being. I may not have known her but she was someone's daughter,maybe she was also someone's mother or wife. She may have confided in someone and the person didn't take her seriously or was too slow to respond like me because they were dealing with their own problems. Depression is real. And it kills. It should be an emergency. We should learn to take time out from our busy schedules to ask about that boy or girl , man or woman with that perpetual look of sadness on their faces. It is extremely easy to feel isolated in a crowd in this world we are living in.

 When i was still battling depression in the university i felt so alone with no one to talk to. Maybe no one wanted to associate with me because I always looked dejected.. Inspite of this i remember every single random act of kindness done to me that prevented me from going over the edge. For example one day after class, the assistant class representative left her usual clique and walked with me from class all the way to the hostel. 

This was a time when people would pretend I wasn't there because my presence made them feel uncomfortable. She inquired genuinely about my well-being and I still remember that act of kindness to this day' and I am grateful to her.This was a walk of about 15 minutes. It just cost her 15 minutes of her time to prevent me from doing something regrettable to myself. She may have not seen it as a big deal but to me it meant the world. It goes without saying that i plan on checking up on this lady more often, and God helping me I plan on helping as many people as possible to overcome depression as I have. To all those battling depression. You are not alone.

 You can beat it but you have to be ready to fight.

*Thank you for sharing with us!!!