STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE...
Dear Stella, please share my story.
I now have a dual personality and on the outside, everyone sees the bright and happy me. A character that's does not exist inside of me. I keep hearing voices speak to me... Telling me I ll never get past this stage.
What stage you may ask.....
I got married about 5 years ago to a user. One who turned me to a mule and ensured he drained me off everything I had. I won't want to bore you with the story, but I left his house empty. No savings, business crashed, no job but with a very determined mind and two kids.
Its been some months since I left but I can't seem to find the strength to move on. I feel like a failure, like I failed at something everyone felt would work (please note he contributed to 78% why the marriage did notion work) and this is affecting my self esteem badly. My pillow soaked with tears, my little savings dried up, I am gradually loosing touch with reality daily...
I am very sad, maybe not depressed but please I need help on how to get past this stage. I honestly do not wish to go back and would rather choose death than continue to live in misery with him.
Please, dear BVs who have been through a broken marriage cum Separation, how did you do it? This feeling is alien and I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dear Stella, please share my story.
I now have a dual personality and on the outside, everyone sees the bright and happy me. A character that's does not exist inside of me. I keep hearing voices speak to me... Telling me I ll never get past this stage.
What stage you may ask.....
I got married about 5 years ago to a user. One who turned me to a mule and ensured he drained me off everything I had. I won't want to bore you with the story, but I left his house empty. No savings, business crashed, no job but with a very determined mind and two kids.
Its been some months since I left but I can't seem to find the strength to move on. I feel like a failure, like I failed at something everyone felt would work (please note he contributed to 78% why the marriage did notion work) and this is affecting my self esteem badly. My pillow soaked with tears, my little savings dried up, I am gradually loosing touch with reality daily...
I am very sad, maybe not depressed but please I need help on how to get past this stage. I honestly do not wish to go back and would rather choose death than continue to live in misery with him.
Please, dear BVs who have been through a broken marriage cum Separation, how did you do it? This feeling is alien and I don't know how to handle my emotions.
*May God see you through babe.I hope you get good advice to go on!!!
Live for your kids and know that the best revenge is to win!!!
Oh wow
ReplyDeleteU wont be able to explain but somehow u will survive. Start from getting urself busy, look for what to do
DeleteNo one has d strength, we live one day at a time
Two of my sisters walked out of terrible marriages when I was a kid. I think they coped cos of family support and became very independent even though one later got married, the other one never wanted a man around her. I got told she suffered beatings most.
DeleteI pray you get a support network to help you get up again but please be strong for your kids.
Prayyyyyyyyyy
DeleteLet God take control
Please look out for doppelganger's advice below.it's dope!
DeleteIt us well with you madam. The Lord is your strength.
ReplyDeleteMadam move on and strive to succeed. The best revenge in life is success.
DeleteOMG comfort to you Amen. You have every right to be sad bit it will pass.
ReplyDeleteInstead of soaking your pillow and allowing negative thoughts into you.
Why don't you use it to praise God because He is waiting for you to do the needful not crying v
When d heart is heavy, praising God becomes difficult. It takes divine strength to overcome. Not easy. I've been there before
DeleteGBAM @ Praising God. Alot of people do not know that acknowledging and praising God in songs goes a longer way than prayers. Revere Him. Praise Him. Acknowledge Him in all that you have been through and still going through and will conquer. Push all negative thoughts out of your mind and let peace come in. Stand up, dust your cute behind and do the best thing you know how to do. Love your kids and yourself the most. Give them reason to be positive in life. Shame and scare away all forms of negativity within and around you. *NO ONE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO DETERMINE YOUR HAPPINESS*. YOU ALONE HOLD THE KEY TO YOUR HAPPINESS,NNE. please pick yourself up from that pity party corner and face life headon like you did before all the ish..... xoxo.
DeleteOh dear congratulations on your freedom and know that your best is yet to come. If you can survive and walk away from a bad marriage then you can and will survive anything. Do not dwell on who was right or wrong because doing that is putting yourself in a position to keep reevaluating what is already lost and can’t be restored. Move on, hard as it may because how would you feel failing yourself a second time especially with kids looking up to you?
ReplyDeleteTalk to good friends, go to church or join a group in church. It is never too late to start over, if you went to school please dust your papers and start looking for a job. Reconnect with old pals and get your groove back before you’d know it this pain you’re feeling right now would be a thing of the past. I’ve never gone through a divorce but I pray you find solace in my message, do not cry in silence please reach out to family and friends. You deserve better and going back would be doing yourself a huge disservice.
Well said doppelganger darling. I see u sister.
DeleteB.
Doppelganger🙌
Delete1 million likes for your comment as my case is similar to the poster.
DeleteNice one my crush. It's now official. No Doppelganger, no SDK for me!😍
DeleteWell said....The lord is your strength poster
Deletegreat
DeleteGod will see through
And when these men are chasing you in the beginning eh, showering u with so much love and promises, you wont believe how they change like chameleon, hmm...
ReplyDeleteAnd if All the women jump into conclusion like you, we would have had multiple Chioma Ajunwas since 1996.
DeleteLol @ chioma ajunwa comment. Anno you are crazy😂 . Poster Peace will find u. Take doppel's advice up there.
DeleteIt is really a tough time but not insurmountable.
ReplyDeleteTelling us briefly what led to the crash could have helped in giving you a piece of advice. If really you have a clear conscience toward him, then there is no reason to feel "guilt or failure". If really he "contributed 78% to it all" like you said, what was that 22% remaining; did you contribute to it? If so, then you need to appease your conscience to be
clean from that percentage and move on.
A lot of times we see the faults in others but not in ourselves. Again, if you do not forgive him in your heart, the peace you so much crave will keep eluding you. Note that forgiving him does not necessarily mean going back to him.
All the best.
If she says he drained her of all her savings, that should tell you the kind of problem they had
Delete@15:36
DeleteSo if ya husband drain you of all ya finances, na divorce be dat?
I see say you don turn to unknown advocate of the unknown.
Make una no dey take those vows "better for worse" wey una no dey keep.
you guys read and don't assimilate. She said the husband is a user, drug addict and made her a mule, someone that couriers hard drugs. What reason again do you need for her to leave. Madam please don't go back, Las Las you'll be OK
Delete@18:49
DeleteThere was no where "drugs" were mentioned in this story. Except you read one in the dream.
And when you begin to chant "drug and mule etc." for an ex, did "he" just begin doing drugs
after marriage. Is it not drug monies that girls run after without asking questions and jump into marriage.
Please I am not talking about this poster because SHE DID NOT MENTION DRUGS.
Anon 18:49 you are very funny. So a user invariably refers to drugs and mule, courier of drugs? Lol. Madam poster I think you've crossed the hardest hurdle which is leaving. Refer to Doppelgänger's comment and probably others I'm yet to read at the time of this comment and do the needful. You will be fine.
DeleteGetting a job that can pay your bills will be a huge step in leaving this sad situation you find yourself. Learn to forgive yourself as well because I know you are filled with regrets and you keep blaming yourself for what happened.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm
DeleteMay God be with you poster. Be strong pls
This is when caring parents step in, that is if they are alive...take u home away from wagging tongues n help u snap back..
ReplyDeleteWith all these experiences I read daily, I'm well armed to be an amazing mother, no baga is gonna treat my potential baby girl like trash, I will face u like a thirsty witch.
My dear,there's nothing in this life like a supportive family.
Delete@Blackberry, me too oh. Ah, how I will raise my daughter eh. She will be.. Well educated, well traveled, confident, intelligent, healthy self esteem, kind and courageous, knows God and all, but would never break for anything. She will live life, and she will win life. With all the light, love, peace and courage she needs.
DeleteMy sons too... they will never disrespect or treat any woman like trash. Never.
.
Madam, I feel your pain. My first marriage ended after only one year. What helped me through that dark time was the support of my family, I’m sure I’d have lost my mind without them. If you have family close by and they’re able to support you morally for now, use them. You don’t have to do this alone. Wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteYa, family..nothing beats when your family supports you.
DeleteThis chronicle is scanty. You are going through a divorce and that's all?
ReplyDeleteFrom who and how did you arrive at this event? Hiding the details almost always is indicative of culpability and guilt and that is part of the complex you are dealing with. You need to be more detailed in explanation to whomsoever you are talking to and that will help you a lot. Remember that SDK the blogger has a listening ear too.
She must not necessarily bring it on here. A call and talking to her can be of help.
What do you need the full details for?
DeleteAmebo kill you there!
Lol you just want her gist. You can help without knowing details
DeleteWhat else do you want to know? Marriage has crashed she needs to move on.
DeleteMadam the Lord is ur strength
ReplyDeleteThe best revenge is success.
ReplyDeleteTry to be successful not because you want to spite him but because that is who you are supposed to be.
If you have certificate(s), dust it and look for a job.
If not, talk to one or two trusted friends or family about your ish and ask them to please raise capital for business.
You need money now. You can't be going through husband wahala and be broke too cos it has a way of pushing one to the extreme.
If you get it, be prudent.
Stay alive for those who love you. You have bundles of joy.
This too shall pass. It is just a stage.
Big hug.
Also if you can’t afford to pay for one, listen to marriage/relationship counselors on YouTube (not naija ones that will sometimes make you feel like you have sinned against God) but non Nigerian psychologists. There’s quite a lot of resources on YouTube. Most importantly, connect with good friends and go out. You will be alright. God bless you.
Deletewarm hugs to you babe!!! Just remember this, you are a strong woman to walk away from that environment. It may take a while, but eventually you will be fine.
ReplyDeletei know that sometimes we go through shit and we want to just blink and fastforward months/years after where we are doing fine physically and mentally but life doesnt happent that way.
Give yourself time to be sad, frustrated,angry. Give yourself time to heal, accept and to grow. and one day, you ll remember all the stress and wont feel the need to cry or be sad....thats when you know you are over it
In the meantime, keep growing and nurturing yourself . God bless you
Write out every scripture that speaks of boldness, confidence, joy, love, peace and a sound mind and say it to yourself money and evening. Also declare it anytime negative thoughts come.
ReplyDeleteOnce you feel sad, imagine how you would act if you were happy and no matter how hard it is, do it. Smile, act happy, confident, laugh and work even when you're tired. This will trick your mind to believe you are happy.
Give a gratitude journal and write down every positive word and action towards you for that day and thank God for each of them before you sleep. This will train your mind to notice the positive and also increase them because what we thank God for he multiplies.
Spend time outdoors and with happy people. The fresh air is good.
Also eat healthy fruits and vegetables.
Cultivate a 'me' time when all you do is admire your wonderful qualities in a thankful way. If you feel insecure about your body, look at your body in the mirror naked and say 'what a hot girl, I love this body'. If you have stretch mark and sagged boobs, look at them with love remembering that they are sacrifices made for your lovely children. The more you love your body, the more you take care of it, so if you feel the need to loose weight, etc, let it be out of love for yourself to take care of yourself better not any insecurities.
Be kind and forgiving towards yourself; there are days you will falter and look like you're slipping bad to a bad mood. Recognise that you're human, forgive yourself and move on.
Accept God's forgiveness and fatherhood; this is the most important. Know that God forgives and affirms you and so guilt is a waste of emotions. it is impossible to loose the love of God, he is love.
make sure you forgive your ex, he's hurting too. Hurting people hurt others.
Nice one.
DeleteYou'll be fine all you need is time to heal.
ReplyDeletePoster draw more closer to God you will find peace there.
ReplyDeleteQuite a pity madam, you will overcome this.
ReplyDeleteEspecially if you empty your mind of the dirt that are raising those
accusatory voices by productive dialogue with a trusted friend.
Your best friends are those kids you have with you at the moment.
But please I need to write to my fellow Naija ladies that visit this blog.
We need to stop building our impossible phantom castles and utopias around
marriages. The kind of marriages a lot of us envisage is non-existent in
the present day Nigeria. Take time and ask any lady friend of yours what/whom
she anticipate to marry and you will be stunned if you are realistic.
Most actually do not know the difference between "wedding" and "marriage",
between "honest career and scam", between "building and inheriting" etc.
It is a shame, many are too shallow minded and perhaps think that the movie
world/lives are lived out in the real world.
Na wah ooo
DeleteIn otherwords, women should reduce their expectations to accommodate all and sundry. No, the men shouldn't step up their game.
DeleteYes na, them don "step up" game
DeleteYou wan know?
Yahoo plus na step up. And girl be falling for them yakata.
Marriage these days keep folding up because most people have accepted that divorce is an option. I am writing from experience I have had a very rough ride in mine and honestly 26 years after while I can't say it's blissful now, I can boldly say God's strength has been sufficient for me . God hates divorce the men no matter how ferocious they are he can tame and clip their wings especially with the children turning to adults their shenanigans always dwindle drastically.
ReplyDeleteMy dear take it from me go back to your home surrender all your pains to God He saw me through he will not fail you
The Devil is after every good thing. Your marriage has a glorious future and he is casting stones at it. All these talk about money forget it don't play the victims card its well.
Nonsense. People be wasting time with useless men. She has done the right thing. you keep managing your own.
DeleteU try sha, but what if he's using her to practice WWE? And taekwondo?
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteChai!
Congratulations ma
Please anon advicer, teach me something I don't know. How do you make love with someone who maltreats you ? Chai slavery o!
DeleteMadam should someone remain in an environment where you live in fear of when the next slap would come?
DeletePlease don’t listen to madam o! Don’t let anyone take you back to torture.
DeleteMadam anonymous I hail you with your mumu advice. Since you developed thick skin to beating and etc in your marriage, mind you not everyone can be strong like you
DeleteThis annon is not strong please. She has no self worth that's why she wanna die there
DeleteAnnon you sound angry even after 26yrs sorry not everyone will sufferlike you
DeleteIt is well. Please don't commit suicide o, always remember your kids & your precious life, meet genuine people that can encourage you with any means available. You shall smile again.
ReplyDeleteOn a lighter note, I will like to know how the percentage of responsibility in marriage failure is calculated, cos u didn't just mention a random value, it looks like u actually did a calculation to arrive at 78%. Make I for calculate my own too
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you madam
ReplyDeleteIt is well with you. Live for God and your children. Get close to your family,forgive yourself and also forgive him. Get a job. Crying has never solved this kind of issue. Yes it's not easy but look unto God.
ReplyDeleteTime, they say, heals all wound. You need to forgive him to move on, let all the pains he caused you go, let them all out. You need to believe in yourself more, you can make it, do not stress yourself thinking about the past but get busy, try to socialize, make money, praise God more . You will be okay.
ReplyDeleteDid you abort when you were single? Karma after abortion is real
ReplyDeleteAre you ok? Or forget to take ur pills which one is your problem
DeleteAbortion minister..
DeleteFirst of all, forgive yourself. I understand that feeling of thinking you have failed. What with all the judgemental people everywhere telling you marriage is not a bed of roses and that you are suppose to tough it out like they wore the shoes with you.
ReplyDeleteMy divorce came through just recently after having been separated for almost 3yrs.
He was a user too and a master manipulator. Let me not start with the details. So I get you totally.
You didn't fail honey. Some marriages are DOA. We force ourselves into impossible relationships sometimes cos we get tired of the loneliness and just want to be married. And then we close our eyes to all the alarm bells. But still, you didn't fail. You only gave your pearls to someone who had no value for them.
Forgive yourself. Look for somebody you can trust to be your rock at this time. You certainly need one cos you can't do this alone. Especially with kids involved.
Find something to do. A job. A business. Someone to teach you a skill for free...
If you are a Christian, get busy with church. Soak in the word and be reminded of God's love.
Finally, don't let anyone play God over your life and judge you. God hates divorce, same with fornication, adultery, lies, envy, backbiting and a bunch of other stuff people ditch out so freely in your face. Plus a lot of marriages these days are totally against God's plan for marriage. Only God can judge at the end of the day who obeyed Him and who didn't. No man is qualified to judge you. God's mercy is boundless if you go to Him with a sincere heart.
Know this, this phase will definitely pass and you will heal and be fine again. And some day, hopefully soon, you will find love with the right person. Love and light always honey.
Some women count the years in marriage just to keep face, even when they know they are living in hell and they need change.
ReplyDeleteWhere are you and his parents in all of this, or was the parents not involved?
Do you not have wise elders amongst you that you now turn to blog for advice.
It is well,
It is the story you narrate you will be advised on - Family at times might not be helpful, if the truth be told, that is if you know them.
ReplyDeleteBut you must speak your truth first to heal, and then think of what is good for the children. they are not just your child, they will also need their dad in the future. Co-parent with tact if you can whilst you heal.
Been in your shoes dear and it's been over a year now. Has it been easy No, is it easy No! But i can tell you its gotten better from when it first happened. Truth is what you are experiencing is normal the tears and all but i was determined to get right back up. What helped me was the love and care from my family and friends. They stood and are still standing by me. They never looked at me with judging eyes. It's not yet 100% ok but i am a work in progress and i am more positive daily. There are days i remember and cry but it's once in a blue while. What are my saying it can get better, it will get better, surround yourself with people who love you, avoid negative energy, yes i changed my Church after i returned home to avoid any negative energy. When i returned home yes i was ashamed, i avoided going outside to avoid people who knew me knowing i was back why are my telling you this i was ashamed i don't want you to feel your alone in your experiences. But gradually i started to come out, i started with night, added church in the day then now i go out when i want cos i have a job, i reunited with some of my friends, some were bold to ask questions i answered and they have been there for me, we hang out, go on dates and have a great time. Am i still mindful yes cos i know people will talk but i can't go into a cave and hide and watch life roll by me. Best is i know i will find love again. Does that mean i am 100% back to normal no but i am working daily and positively on it. I have re-enrolled for a Masters program. Madam cry if you feel like it but do not stay down. Know you have 2 kids find strength in them and for them, find the strength to smile, move on and stop looking back on what use to be. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteGlad u found ur feet back on track...don’t watch life roll pass u
DeleteHmmmm. I think the worst thing that can happen to a woman is to marry a man that does not see life the way you see it. When both of you totally want different things in life. I have been a hustler all my life and believe that nothing I want will come to me except i think of a way, plan a feasible step by step actions to take and work for it. But my husband believes in people, families and if there is no way then the next thing is to borrow. I am just tired of being with a man that only wants to sleep through his problems especially something as crucial as house rent. He does not want to plan ahead and when I try discussing, he complains I am bugging him that i should just pray. This man is killing my drive, no motivation at all. he is just ok with borrowing every time and depending on his family. God knows i try my best for this family. All my income just goes like that on bills. He earns just 120k but house rent alone is 700k per annum. I have asked numerous times for us to move to a cheaper accommodation that we can easily afford from our salaries but no way. I just believe you have to face your problems and find a solution if not, you will keep begging every time. All I want us to do is to save up and start a side business, even wont mind taking a loan in my company for the business just to improve our finances. I am a proud person so I like to live within my means and plan myself but all this is new to me. I am just totally fed up. If I take this step on my own, I hope I wont be expected to share the business with him after all cos all my suggestions since January has fell on deaf ears. He is too afraid to take bold steps and I feel like all my our plans and goals for 2018 is going down the drain cos we have not been able to do anything about it.I am really really sad about this. Please Single girls, always make sure that you are in tune with your partner before you marry. Have similar goals and aspire for the same things in life. I am a realist but I married a a dreamer.
ReplyDeleteWow....
DeleteHi babygirl. I feel your pain. I was like you as well. My hubby likes to live on credit cards and loans but i like to save. I will advise tire, lets save so we can get 2nd mortgage and invest, for wia. He prefers to buy designer and give pple big gifts. Later on, i stopped tracking his income. I split finances. Do your finances, i do mine. Now i saved money and he has over 30k in loans and cc. When i save enough, i will get my house in my name. Thats investment. So i will advise you, take a cue from my life. I get peace of mind now. When he buys, i will say where is mine. Na u be baba olowo.
DeleteSorry ma’ am!
DeleteThanks for the advice.
My dear divorce is not the end, it's a curve. I left a very bad marriage years ago. Two kids, no job. Initially left with the children but he came and took them away. I found solace in Church. Took the first job that came my way and grew from there. Today I am a Manager with a very big organization, my daughter got married recently. I also remarried and so did my ex. Walking out of that marriage was the best decision of my life. My sister stayed in hers for the sake of her children. She is in her grave now.
ReplyDeleteHmmm!!! @last sentence.
DeleteHmmmm....and that anon 👆 is saying go back....Godforbid
DeleteI really don't know what advice to give but I'll suggest that you surround yourself with positive people, it could be family or close friends, tell yourself that you aren't a failure. Make a conscious effort to see yourself as a survivor. Then, you can get a job when you know deep down that you are ready for it.
ReplyDeleteAbove all, get closer to God as He's the only one who can give you divine wisdom. I hope these points help. I see you winning.
broken marriage is not easy but if your life is threatened its beta you safe it by leaving. God will help you. let your family support you at this time.
ReplyDeleteTime heal wound, it is well ma,look after your kids very well.
ReplyDeleteDear poster i know what you are feeling and going through because i have walked in your shoes. Leaving a marriage isn't easy and i must commend you on being brave and taking that bold step. It's better to walk alone than allow someone walk over you. When i left mine a few years ago,i was a shadow of myself. I left with nothing. No job,money,child,self worth, no self esteem and big zero confidence. I cried alot ehhh. My ex husband never loved me. Infact he chose his family a million times over me and there was nothing i could do about. He broke me. But today the story is different and i can't thank God enough. You see family and God helped me pull through. I surrounded myself with family that truly love and support me. Yes you would be so ashamed of yourself, people would see you like a failure but guess what it doesn't matter what they see or feel about you. What truly matters is how God sees you and how you see YOURSELF. Naturally i welcome healthy challenges and i felt that situation was one and a threat to my life and threats aren't to be taken lightly. I took the bull by the horn and was determined to survive and raise up better than i was. I suggest you do same. Greive all you want in your privacy but not for too long. Change your environment if possible. Surround yourself with family that TRULY CARE,LOVE,and SUPPORT you. Make midnight prayers your "bestest" hobby and watch how things would turn around for you. God never forgets the heartbroken,this i know for sure. Get out of the house,push yourself. Go to the mall,movies. Watch funny videos on fb,ig etc. Babe package yourself, dress well,smell good,girl don't forget your makeup and lastly smile/laugh alot(remember people love and mingle happy people). I know it's hard to laugh/smile during this situation but try to always laugh even though you are hurting inside. Fake that laugh/smile till it becomes part and parcel of you.Believe and Speak positive things to yourself like i am good enough, im good, it would be alright, it's just a phase,i will make it,God got me,i am deserving and deserve nothing but the best. Carry yourself well and before you know it your confidence level will raise fiercely,then you would have zero tolerance for bullshit. Don't be in a hurry to date. Take your time,pamper yourself. Be good to yourself and love yourself. Love and care for your kids. Get a job no matter how small. Don't forget your prayers please. Talk to God. Make out time to tell HIM to remember you and HE surely will... People that know me find it difficult to recognise me because my life turned around for the best. My ex told me no man would want a second hand hahaha(its a thing of the mind, i told myself i am worthy of love and the best thing that happened after ice cream and sharwama lmao), you need to see the calibre of single men dying for my mata despite knowing my history. I am still yet to choose the best from the guys on my mata lol. I ran into my ex recently and he couldn't come close hahaha. Even a liltle bird told me he's regretting everything and doesn't know how to approach me after all he did to me. Always commit and put God first in all you do from now on and see how casted stone becomes the chief corner stone. Kissess and hugsssss
ReplyDeleteHappy for you 🙌🙌🙌
DeleteGbam! This advice is bae
DeleteDo you really want to go with the divorce or there are ways you both can handle this. There is a lesson in this for you to learn, take care of your health, and do not concern yourself with what people say. ...And remember, this too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteYou failed at something everyone thought would work - ERASE that story and be your self.
ReplyDeleteTime heals all wounds. Live each day happy and smile no matter what you are through. You'll surely see the light at the end if the tunnel
ReplyDeleteMy dear,
ReplyDeleteBe strong for yourself & for your children.
You must make a choice, and the choice comes with huge sacrifice which may include suffering & exposure to hunger, shame, neglect, mockery & humiliation for u. But fight & don't allow the devil to take the credit for your life in this world.
I used dishwash soap to bath 26 yrs ago. Because I can't afford a bathing soap. I ran away from bad situation, bad family & evil people in my life. But today I spend more than $35,000 on vacations, beauty treatment, enjoyment & happy life every year for myself.
Focus, focus, focus on choice to stay away from abusive relationship, bad life & domestic violence.
There's nothing I regret today for running away far from bad things & bad relationship. I thank God everyday for my life & SAY HELL THUNDER FIRE MY HATERS & ENEMIES.
🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌 Oshey
DeleteHow did you calculate the 78% and 22%.? You should have given us details so we can advise you but if the marriage is irreconcilable walk away and file for divorce.
ReplyDeleteFor what....abeg go gate
Delete#Start each day with a new hope, leave bad memories behind, and have faith for a better tomorrow*
ReplyDeleteIt feels good to see people sharing their experiences here to encourage the poster thereby encouraging others.
ReplyDeleteI will share mine and hope it encourages someone out there.
Having gotten married at a very young age after graduation, the marriage that initially started with so much love and bliss headed south within a couple of years. Ex was playing games but I was too naive to know his games then. We were so incompatible in every way but I was determined to make it work, you see back then the society was not to accepting of failed marriages. He was comfortable and provided for the home until it got bad and he would rather spend his money on his concubines rather than at home. He would never let me aspire to be better than my current status. Long story short after enduring the humiliation, rejection, neglect etc I made up my mind to leave just to see if he would sit up. For where? That was what guy man even wanted. We had a child together. It was tough. I would cry every day till I had no more tears to cry. Family friends stood by me, God comforted me through the loss. Today I am a force to reckon with. That girl he thought would not rise has made it in life. He even went diabolic on me but God kept me. I own my home, drive the choicest cars and living the mountain top life all courtesy of the Almighty and I never slept my way through. No small girl big God runs. And it keeps getting better.
Poster weigh all your options, to continue or leave the marriage. See which has the highest pros for you, your kids, your dreams, destiny and choose that. Just know that whichever side you choose will not be easy until you achieve your dreams but keep at it. We are all WIP work in progress, success is not a destination it is a journey. Travel safe and wise. Keep your head high even when your neck feels weak, speak positive things into your life, come back to read the good response here whenever you feel down. You will look back as say " Thank God I made it".
All I can say is time. Time will heal your deep wounds. Just keep putting one foot in front of another each single day. When your emotions overwhelm you and you feel like you can't take it anymore, cry. Cry your heart out but then...pray! Make sure you pray each time. Prayer is what helped me get over my last broken relationship when I felt like I was losing my mind. Go to Jesus. He is close to the broken-hearted and will wrap you round his arms like a blanket with his unconditional love. This experience will make you or mar you but the choice is yours. I ran to the Lord and I developed the best relationship ever. He is teaching me what true love means. That man could not give it to you because he is broken himself. You will have to forgive him and yourself at some point but don't be in a hurry. Take the time to grieve the end of this journey with him. Our lives are more than marriage and men. God holds our lives together and He's not done with you yet.
ReplyDeletePoster I am sending you hugs to keep you strong, I recently walk away from a man as you just describe up there,but my own case is that we did not last more than a year,no child yet,so that is why things was easy
ReplyDeletePraise God no matter what, sing praises and listen to songs that will give you the strength to continute praising God.
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