STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
A CAN OF WORMS OPENED AFTER A BOASTFUL RANT
Stella help my life oooo, i need good advice because am numb right now.
I don't know if you remember me but I was the man who commented on a chronicle about a woman who husband cheated . I told BV BlackBerry and chikito I don't cheat (which is true and I haven't for 10 years given another woman not even a peck), when they argued all men cheat.
Stella I got married as a virgin at the age of 30, am a Christian so I abhored fornication, i promised my self the first woman I ask out will be the one I marry and so I did.
We dated for three years and during those times so many single women asked me out, more beautiful educated and of high social status but i told them I am already committed to someone. She is a high school certicate holder but I didn't care I just wanted a good woman. I later sent her to catering school and she learnt interior decor because that was what she said she wanted that she is no longer interested in school .
We got married and have three kids, Stella the issue now is the first child isn't mine. The child I have been taking care of since 10 years. This child goes to one of the most expensive school in my state. Have funds in her name. The emotional stress, financial struggle I have done on this child. Stella why are women like this? What have I done to deserve this? You say you want a good man you see but take him for granted . My friends are mocking for being faithful.
I got a message on my phone that the child wasn't mine and I shouldn't bother who sent it just go for the test. I called the number back but the sin has been removed. That was how I found out.
To think I never cheated on her even when I travelled out. I go to the market for her as a Christian I even cook and if I see any new fashion trend on other women I but it for her so she isnt left out and I rather admire it on her body instead.
She met me a virgin; I give her everything Stella she has a driver and a help I don't stress her at all. So It turned out she was sleep I g around because right now she said she isnt sure who out of all her ex boyfriend owns the girl. I am getting a divorce and taking my hands off women.
People say I should think of the other children but I can't I hate her now and she disgust. Please Fellow Bvs advice me insult me anything to feel better from this anguish.
Maybe a chronicle so I get clarity I have sent her out of the house already:
*I dont know what to say...I really dont know what to say!....meaning this happened after she deflowered you..hmmmmm
The end has come. She can't be faithful anymore. You need to be strong as a man, put your acts together and let her go.
ReplyDeletePainful sir. But pls forgive. Lots of men go out getn their side chicks pregnant but the society always says to those women 'forgive and pray for ur hubby' it's time to forgive her and pray for her too
Deleteits not the same..
Deleteshe came home with a big souvinir starring him face to face... that marriage is over.
So sorry sir, pls love the other children that are legitimately yours. Put your thoughts together and don't take the frustration out on them.
DeleteAlso carry out other tests for STD's. You may have been infected with one that is in "hibernation mode"
On a light mood, Sex na bastard. If u sabi do, na trouble, if u no sabi na wahala. I tiya o.
#hadeyhalaba
Did you do a DNA test before running around like a headless chicken?
DeleteTrue, men do that too but they don’t make the woman put in emotional and financial investments in the guise of training their children.
DeleteSo sorry sir but not women are like this, do not take it out on the innocent kids, I know how hurt you are right now but please do not make drastic dicisions, you have every right to divorce if staying with her causes you to sin but love your kids.
DeleteI don taya for the women of these days, any small thing, they will just open legs, how can you say your friends mock you cus you don’t cheat on your hubby, a good man? See where advice has landed this woman
*causes
DeleteMr man I lol at u. If you too can remember I was the person that responded to tell you relationship is about 2 people not one. U wer selfish to think of you, you and you alone. Because you promised ur self doesn't mean ur partner or wife promised her self too. Everybody have a dark side dude. I'm sure you do too
DeleteForgive, again I say forgive..seventy seven X seven Times. And if she is remorseful. Accept her back
DeleteAnon 20:05, its obvious you are mistaking the man for another person they were over 8 spirikoko men that commented that day but this particular oga focused on bb and chikito alone and relentlessly commented under their comments. Not sure he had a dark side biko the man seem too innocent like those overzealous Christian.
DeleteBut wait o.... Did she bring the pregnancy into the marriage or cheated during the marriage? A lot of people are accusing her of committing adultery, but was she a virgin at marriage as well? What if she mingled in their single days and brought the pregnancy into the marriage? Oga, sorry o. Embrace and deal with your anger and disappointment. You are entitled to it. Don't let anyone tell you to forget it and move on. Handle it. Scream. Shout. Break something. Get it out of your system. When you are calm, the next step will present itself. May God be with you.
DeleteSo many anonymous up there
DeleteHahahaha, ain't we all tired of this life?,
DeleteDearest Jesus, please come and settle this world let's all go and rest.
20,05: you are laughing out loud on a man who is already down. Shame on you. Let's see how your own life would turn out. Don't come here saying you are a woman because Am sure you were the man who commented about how he cheats on his gorgeous wife with women not up to par. SMH at you. How was he selfish bikini?.
DeleteTo you this man seemed like someone who has a dark past? Must you comment?. Mstchew.
Why should we insult you? Honestly, my mouth is left hanging. Maybe you should find out the paternity of the remaining children, before you take other drastic decisions. Please take care..nna eh!
ReplyDeletePoster this is the time to love the more. Its human to cheat and you need grace to forgive her. Check your weight, your hygiene and try go for kamasutra classes so you can keep her.
DeleteDont let the other men outside win o. God hate divorce and you know she is your first and you promised God to have and to hold her for better for worse till death do you part.
You said you are a born again Christian and the word hate and divorce should not feature in your statements. You must continue to love the child and your wife.
Ntorrrr....
Why the ntorrrr?
DeletePoster you did not mention that you actually tested the child. Also you are basing your decision on hear say. You need to get to the bottom of things and learn what really happened. With God's help you can still save your marriage. There must have been something good you saw in your wife. No one is perfect. Trust is hard to regain once lost, but nothing is impossible for God. There is a reason things happened the way they did. If you didn't hear anything, you would still have been enjoying your home. Also, there is no need to regret being good or doing good. Real Christians serve God no matter what. The road is not always easy and it is not unto us, but for God's glory. This may be your cross, but hopefully it will lead you to the promised land if handled properly. If you can't cope or forgive her and the innocent child, go ahead and divorce, rather than let hatred lead you to commit a crime or do something bad to them. Don't be rash in your decision, you need prayers and good counsel at this time.
DeleteYes! You gave her everything, but shes more experienced on bed, with more bodycount, i'm sure thats what drove her outside, even if she shouldnt have.
ReplyDeleteYes. She married a virgin man who knows nothing about sex. He wasn't giving her jigbijigbi, snake in the monkey shadow style, cocktail style, doggy and pussy cat style, hence, she went out to get it. The problem now is she didn't do it with one man, but several men. So this isn't a matter of not being satisfied sexually, she's simply promiscuous. He married a promiscuous lady. Too bad. Im truly sorry for the poster.
DeleteWhy didn't she put all those into consideration before saying yes to the man and m sure those men ain't even as good as her husband. Sometimes na we just be the cause of our wahala
DeleteThats the thing about having great sex and not marrying that person... if ur spouse isnt as good as ur ex, it'd take alot not to cheat.
DeleteHmmmmm....thats the end..nothing more to say..so disheartening
DeleteⓂc pinky 👮
Chai!
DeleteThis is really sad
Why are you people jumping to conclusions? Do you know the lady? That the first child isn't his doesn't necessarily make her promiscuous. He needs to find out the truth.
DeleteThis is too painful. Sir I'm so sorry for what happened. Please think of the other kids. If your wife is sorry then please try and work it out but if she is not then do as you please.
ReplyDeleteBible says you can divorce if your partner commits adultery.
ofcourse she will be sorry!
DeleteHe married a snake... you say he should 4give her & keep living with her? This kind woman fit poison you bcus of her lover... DIVORCE her ass.
Oh shut up! Cos you didn't read except adultery.
DeleteDid you do a test to confirm or you just believe the text message and went crazy because you didn't say anything about running a DNA test
ReplyDeleteu think say na mumu?
DeleteThank you ooo anony 15:07..oga did u do a test..otherwise you should have done on your other kid too make we know as the cry wan take start...and NO dont divorce her ooo bcos if na she dey ur shoes now she go forgive u.
DeleteBut you saw when he wrote that the woman admitted it and said she didn't which of her exes is the child's father.
DeleteEven if she admitted it, he still may have fathered the child, since the mother is not sure. Plus it would bring more clarity to the issue if the child is tested. The child is innocent in all of this and knows him as her father, he can as well adopt her. What I am saying is this home doesn't have to be torn apart.
DeleteYou see your life outside!!!!
ReplyDeleteI mean you see your life inside gutter now????
All ur life you de save konji, for one woman you never know wetin she de use her toto do, now all your chastity is in vain.
Imagine the number of pussies you missed.... anyway, its not too late, start slaughtering with annoyance... that will help you heal
Sorry about your experience I hope you can sexually satisfy her sha?
ReplyDeleteif he did will she look outside?
DeleteA wise Brazilian sex expert said "A woman’s high level of sex drive might be connoted with infidelity tendencies & thus perceived by men as a relationship threat".... he was right.
DeletePoster, youre probably blaming urself for not sexually satisfying her, being a new player in the field but you might be wrong, if she had an insatiable urge, even if u replaced ur broken bed weekly (side eyes at BB), & make her a housewife, she'd still eye the gateman.. You or your dick is not to blame! The pussy you bought came with a broken compass, focus on healing!
why do I have this feeling that she knows the father of the child. I think she knows the father of the child but scared to tell you poster. He could be someone you know. #justsaying
DeleteBeing a virgin doesn't make him less of a man in bed. As long as he is willing to learn how to please a woman, he could be even better than a lot of men with very high body count. Many men who have high body count are also crappy in bed. Some feel they know it all and end up fumbling.
DeleteWhat did the bible say? Trust no man except God. I don't know why men always for women who pretend to be meek and mild. Sorry sir. Get a divorce. Next time, remove Christianity in love matter.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, bad things happen to good people. I got married at 30, a virgin. My husband almost killed me and I ran away. Chigurl married at 33, a virgin and her husband impregnated a woman outside so she left. You can divorce her if u want to. Just know that u don't always get what u deserve in this life.
ReplyDeleteme a retired runs girl that lost bodycount since 1992, i married a nice man and we got 2 beautiful kids, did i mention i had an abortion? we are planning for dubai vacation.. i dont even want to say grace found me or God is on my side cus i hardly pray or attend service.
DeleteLife is complicated.
my dear..its not how much u pray, fast or fo to church that matters...everybody get the luck wey em carry come this life
DeleteEXACTLY my sentiments. Life is 99% how you manage whatever challenge thrown at you. That you are a good person by your standard doesnt imply only good things must happen to you.
DeleteHmmmmm
DeleteLord have mercy
ReplyDeleteWhatever you do, make sure you take care of your biological children
Who could said Sent that text?
Someone must not be your blood to be your child. In future that child may be a huge light in their family.
DeleteSorry bro, shit happens.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of kolade bhadmus, its super difficult to accept a child you didn't break bed for.
So sorry about your ordeal and it’s okay to want a divorce because she gave you a false impresssion and led you on believing a lie but please you need to calm down for the sake of the two other kids that are yours. Don’t let her indiscretion and silliness put innocent kids in troube. Don’t default in your responsibilities to them and leave their mother to her karma which is obviously dealing with her already. You’d be fine in the end but please don’t rope innocent kids into this mess, they don’t deserve to suffer for another person’s sin. If she can’t rememeber who is responsible then it means she had multiple partners at a time and that’s just terrible and a wayward way to live. You deserve better but you need to put your thoughts in order.
ReplyDeleteShe should also run a DNA test to see if the Child is her's too.
ReplyDeleteGoodluck
you say???
DeleteHe should o! Something like this happened in my family, apparently the wife bought the child cos she couldn’t get pregnant. Long gist!
DeleteGet a divorce and move on. Someone you disvirgined after your wedding went ahead is this. She's a ticking bomb. To even think that she doesn't know the father of child. Haaaa
ReplyDeleteshe wasnt a virgin.
DeleteOh...thanks for the correction
Deletei have typed 5responses and i have deleted them.
ReplyDeleteIts well.
If u go ahead with the divorce, get her a space in same town so you can have your kids over whenever you want and not only during holidays.
Please, whatever you guys do, never involve the kids.
Meanwhile, i fear who sent that message. Its one of her friends cos, if she doesn't know the father, the father doesn't know as well.
Dont let that wicked friend take away your joy.
Is she still cheating? If no.
I suggest you both attend counselling, not with a church or a religious body please.
Its well.
This too shall pass.
What nonsense counseling are you talking about? Did you comprehend what he wrote above? Divorce her sorry ass. Fathering another woman's kid thinking its yours is just a nightmare. The marriage cannver be thesame again even if they both comeback together.
Deletecounselling for what??
Deletewoman wey fuck diffrent pricks till she cant even know who gave her belle..... he should 4gv her so she brings home HIV next abi? that time you'd be in ur house enjoying while he dies. weldone
Just one thought though-if the reverse was the case,the man brings another child he fathered with another woman home? What would be all your responses? She should accept the child,afterall its the mans seed...Init?? There you have it!!!
DeleteCounseling so that whatever they do doesn’t affect the kids. So that the innocent kids don’t get caught in the crossfire of his anger towards the woman. So that he doesn’t make decisions that’ll end up distablizing the kids for even because he’s angry and emotional right now. Use you heads people! They need counseling right now, especially him. He just got the biggest shocker of his life. I agree with the counseling, especially outside of a church or religious body.
DeleteExactly anon 17:55
DeleteIts ok to feel the hurt and resentment now that it's still fresh but when you cool off will you regret your actions?
ReplyDeleteThe betrayal from a loved one hurts deeply no doubt.I'm here imagining if its the other way round how will i feel?
Seems you've made up your mind on divorce & that looks like the best option for you now but if the other kids are yours consider what this break up will cause them too.
So ask yourself whats more important to you?
1.Forgiving her (i know it might take a while) and having a stable home
2.Healing, getting your peace of mind and " losing" your family.(I'm assuming you get a divorce and she leaves with all the kids).
Truth be told "trust is like a broken mirror that cant be fixed and even when you do you will always see the crack" but from personal experiences after a while i forgive people that hurt me, the anger goes away and sometimes i dont even remember what happened.some i put at arms length, some we still talk till date & some i had to reach out to them when i needed them after pushing them away.so ive learnt how to take my time and weigh my options before taking decisions when i'm hurt.
Whatever you decide,I wish you great happiness.
U can forgive a one time mistake especially if your actions led to such but u can't forgive a serial cheat who sleeps around unprotected with different men.
DeleteThe shame the man feels in his neighborhood right now is "first class". Let's put ourselves in his shoes before we start giving advise which he clearly didn't want as he has already made his mind up ..... "He said he is done with women"
#hadeyhalaba
And who told you she is a serial cheat? Judgemental lots! Women forgive this type of thing every day, even worse sins. Anyway all ye without sin continue casting stones.
DeleteWickedness.don't know what we women want.Send her out for now,till she's genuinely sorry
ReplyDeleteDont let the devil win.
ReplyDeleteDont let the enemy win.
Please, you should not let the girl feel you aint the dad.
Legally adopt her without her knowledge. You can tell her when she is 16
Story. Which devil? The woman is the enemy.
DeleteIts a pity sir.
ReplyDeleteJust take it easy
Chai!!! This is heart wrenching. Whatever you do, please apply wisdom.
ReplyDeleteBetter to divorce her than to kill her. She isn't worth jail time. Let her go and make sure you take care of your other children. As for the child, I really don't know. Concentrate on what is yours sha before catering to another man's child. May you find healing.
ReplyDeleteWow! Is this life? I remember you! I can't believe it too. I'm so shocked.
ReplyDeleteI remember his comment too. That woman is just too callous
DeleteBlogger na was oh! I have typed two different hefty responses n on both occasions, blogger unexpectedly closed d connection swallowing my comment.
ReplyDeleteCrying a river....
Sorry about that;its from your browser and not blogger...
DeleteKindly Download "MICROSOFT EDGE BROWSER" OR the latest version of "CHROME" and comment without the stress again...
Pele!!
@MARTINS ABOY
@Martins Aboy - Thank you!
Deletehahahaha
ReplyDeleteit is time for us men to call women scum, cheat and dog with wandering tohtoh.
most(I will not say all)women are cheat, scum and dog.
Poster please don't hate the child. transfer the anger and hate to the "HOman" you call "WiFi" with busy tohtoh.
...say all na wether chikito will give u anything this christmas... see as u rush correct urself.
DeleteBitches u mean??? Because dog na man, bitch na d female specie. Send my thanks thru blog P.A
DeleteTransfer hate keh, na wa for una, how does that help?
DeleteCalm down my dear. I can only imagine how you feel. We feel so bad when we get betrayed by someone we love deeply. Calm down again. Maybe while you were dating her she had another man friend. Maybe few months after your wedding she allowed one of her ex sleep with her hence your child is 10 years. And maybe after that incidence, she has not cheated on you again. I totally condemn her actions. Its so so bad. but my dear, from your write up, you love this woman so much. If you ask me, I will advice you to punish her.Maybe ask the maid to go, maybe collect the car from her, maybe reduce or withdraw your allowance on her. Just do anything you feel makes her happy. Have a talk with her. You might invite her parents. Tell them what she has done after then, ask them to warn her to swear never to cheat on you again. Please for the sake of the children, put a stop on the divorce, Bible said you can divorce if your partner commits adultery but there is still a portion that talks about forgiveness. My dear, it might be difficult.. forgive her.
ReplyDeleteeasy for you to preach forgive!
Deleteabeg kick her out!! Na HIV she go bring as souvinir next month.
I'm with you. It might be she never cheated when u guyz were married. Forgiveness is devine. Prove this love you've been shouting about. What about your other kids sef, abeg calm down oga...
DeleteSpot on Zaram.
DeleteThanks Zaram for your advise. pls take to this. I will say you conduct a dna on all kids and if only the first isnt yours then take to Zaram's advice. So Sorry
DeleteWhat if it was a set up?Have you done a paternity test?Please do before you jump into conclusion.
ReplyDeleteEeh yah oh!!!
ReplyDeleteOga since you were a virgin, you should have married a virgin girl also, you both would have been compatible. Your wife is more experienced in bed than you.
Did you later do the DNA test or you just chased her out based on mere speculation?
Says who? There is no law, nor has it been scientifically proven that virgins must marry virgins. A successful marriage is not built on virginity. Being a virgin doesn't necessarily make you a better person or a worse person.
DeleteIf you had known, you would've kept your virginity, & be ordained as a priest. And now it's too late. But they say men are scum. This life ðŸ˜
ReplyDeletepriests them wey fuck pass u sef.
DeleteYou are indeed hurting Sir and nothing hurts more than the betrayal of a lover. Obviously she is more experienced and have more body count than you, be strong now, please do not do anything out of anger. it's always difficult for men to forgive a cheating partner because of Ego and Pride. Women tend to be more forgiving and accommodating. I'm unhappy because she doesn't know the FATHER of that PRINCESS.That is carelessness. If its your desire to divorce her please let it be done quietly, I suggest you quietly do a DNA on your the other kids. It is well with you Sir. Please don't guilt trip yourself more, you did the best you can and she never appreciated it. That doesn't make you less of a man. I don't think BVs will insult you, times like this we bond together and console the one hurting. Except when we suspect any scammer *side eyes at him plus his mother hen*, we launch our arsenal or if anyone cheats, sell anything fake or hurt Stellz. The worst BVs will tell you now is :
ReplyDeleteWATCH WAR RUN
DRINK COCONUT OIL
FAST AND DO MIDNIGHT PRAYER
DRESS WELL,SMELL NICE,BE CLEAN
Virtual Hugs Sir, Call Stellz, She has a listening Ear. My prayer for you is you overcome this trying moment. Goodluck and quick healing.
So touching,why do bad things happen to good people.
ReplyDeletePlease you deserve better.
anybody can enter one chance na, good or bad person.... sam result
DeleteI promise myself n God that I will never cheat on my husband . So help me God. Forgive her. She cross the line after she had sex with another man outside marriage. I pray you find peace.
ReplyDeleteWait till you're married, dear!
DeleteI made the same promise, now I have begges God to allow me break the promise. I heard a voice saying I have been absolved of the promise 'cos God sees all I'm going through.
Poster, you're a nice , caring and God fearing man. I think also a good christian. You feel pained because of all your efforts to make her comfortable and happy. So sorry for the disappointment.
ReplyDeletePlease, forgive her. Its very hard and difficult to do but you can do it. You can separate foe awhile for you to heal but you have to forgive because of God and those kids. Forgive her her sir - Matthew 18 vs 21 - 22
my advice for him is he should take all his supposed kids for DNA, find out if they are all his and decide what he wants to do with them if they aren't his. As for the woman he can divorce her, she isnt worth shit, it hard to change a promiscuous woman, may the lord have mercy on her. only God knows if she has infected him with STD sef.
ReplyDeleteBut easy to change a promiscuos man i guess???
DeleteSo sorry for what your wife did to you, please don't be in haste to divorce her, try and carry out DNA test for the 3 of them first.
ReplyDeletewomen hardly complain when they are not satisfied with their men sexually. i believe she did not get what she desired from a man sexually but she acted wickedly. ask her what she wants and learn from it but if you can forgive her, its divine
ReplyDeleteThis is also a possibility,maybe she wasnt satisfied in bed? Shame on her if this is her resaon...
DeleteIf she complained about performance, you think poster will come and tell us here?
DeleteEayah that is why it is not good to say it can't happen to me. Oga still do DNA for the other children and see how it goes.
ReplyDeleteYou don't need to hate your wife because you men can't bear but want women to bear.
It is well with your home and your soul Amen
Have you done a DNA to prove that the child is yours or not or are you talking from a place of fear? Anybody can phone you to say such things just to destroy your home.
ReplyDeleteGet the DNA - It does not lie - Then do the right thing after the result - Stop over stressing yourself and be a brave man.
Dont let fear break your home using your own hands!
Eeyah,it is well with you. Pls stay calm for a while because taking any action now can lead to regret. You are more than hurt, can't imagine how that feels. God is the only one that can take away this pain. Maybe you should leave that environment to cool off, then you comeback to take the decision the right way.
ReplyDeleteAre the other kids yours? If they are, pls don't let that 10yr old girl feel like an outcast after your decision.
God will come through for you. I really feel pity for you😥😥😥😥
what rubbish ,arrant nonsense, please forgive who exactly? divorce her sorry ass and carry out DNA on the other children. you have tried please move on.
ReplyDeleteIf it's a woman now, 98% of the comments will be forgive and accept the child.
ReplyDeleteSir, ALL children are gifts from God. Carry your cross silently and forgive her. You are the one that went to trumpet it, half of your friends know some of their children are not theirs but they shut up so that they will not think and die. If they use it to mock you, use it and mock them back too.
Take some time off, soon you will be fine again. All the best.
I can feel your pains sir, so short of words.
ReplyDeleteThe worst part is not knowing who the girl's father is. Meaning she's been messing around with different men. And she started it from the period you just got married since that's your first child.
ReplyDeleteI'm speechless. Wickedness!
Terrible! As a Christian Divorce is considered to be the final resort, because if you divorce you're required not to remarry!
ReplyDeleteSo what do u think!?! I'm sorry for you though! You don't deserve this
I'm so sorry for the pains this has caused you.For someone to have sent you SMS,that means your wife knew and might have discussed it outside. It's really unfortunate and I sympathize with the child that isn't yours.Whatever you decide to do,stay away from your wife till you make your final decision.Life is not fair at all
ReplyDeleteEeehya
ReplyDeleteThis is really terrible o
Reminds me of the movie "if loving you is wrong **
Before taking any drastic decision do a DNA test first. Don't go to the lab singing the girl is not your child otherwise they will hand you result you were hoping for. Just go into a good lab and conduct a DNA test.
ReplyDeleteOh dear!!! Honestly this is soooo sad 😢, but why do bad things happen to good people?
ReplyDelete.
.
.
Advice to other unmarried virgin men, pls ALWAYS settle for virgin women too. So u can both discover sex together, a friend of mine did it, and its beautiful.
.
.
.
Postter as a Christian pls talk to God to heal ur broken heart. Pele dear. It is well.
Lmao!!!! RUBBISH ADVISE. Who the hell thinks like this?? Okay what happens after they are no longer virgins? You think one of them can't still creep out on the other? Please keep your rubbish advise. You think virginity is a sign of decency or moral uprightness or love? I pity you. Besides how do you intend to know a virgin woman or man before your actual wedding night? If they tell you they are and you find out they are not, what then happens? Lol. Keep your stupid advise
DeleteReal rubbish advice. I have seen that some people become proud and think themselves better than others because they are virgins. It takes more than being a virgin to be a good person. Rahab in the Bible became part of Jesus' lineage. Everyone in Christ is a new person, including virgins. Is it wrong to be a virgin and sexually pure? Not at all, but don't turn your virtue to sin by using it to feel proud and better than other human beings. You are doing it to glorify God and live pure, which is also of benefit to you. So this theory that a virgin must marry a virgin na wash.
DeleteBut you have not seen non virgins feeling themselves and thinking they are better because than virgins simply because they have few sexual experiences to their belts?, or didn't you read comments where people are throwing jabs at him for not satisfying her like they are there with them in the bedroom.
DeleteSorry poster. Take heart.
ReplyDeleteDon't divorce your wife, sit her down and ask her why she did it. She must have reason.
Watch War Room, pray I mean praaaaayyyy.
If possible observe two days fasting and ask God to fix your marriage, there's nothing God cannot do.
After this always dress sexy, smell good always and remain attracted to your wife.
If you divorce her what is the guaranty that another woman will not cheat on you?
This is the advice given to women whose husband do this same shit. So poster try this out.
Sorry for your pain,but you see,so many ,like 4 out of 10 women marry their husbands as virgins,but what do they get? Cheating,lying husbands who sometimes end up giving them STDs. The point here is you stayed clean as a virgin because you had to,not necesarily so you get appreciated and be treated better in marriage,same for the women.The choice to make is yours,you can either forgive and continue with the marriage or refuse to forgive,marry another woman(hoping shes not a worse devil).
ReplyDeletePoster sorry about that, but i will encourage you to heal from the heart break then have a second thought and give the best to all the children, dont neglect the children in the process of not wanting to have anything with your ex-wife, pls take all the children as yours and treat them equally.
ReplyDeleteSe her as your adopted child and even if in the future a man comes knocking to claim as her father, stand on your ground that where was he all these yrs.
you will be happy at the end of it all
for now , try to get your sanity and remember that you didnt marry a virgin,
I said it to you again, treat them all as yours, continue doing your best for all of them
children sees &reckon with who they knew when growing up as their parents.
Do not let the children or child knows what led to the divorce till they are much matured.
Remember the reason for wanting a good family and keep the family excluding your wife if you cant let go of the incident.
Poster you have my utmost sympathy.
ReplyDeleteI will advice you to accept the first child as your's. You have nurtured her from the day she was born or before birth until your discovery. You are the only dad she knows, being a father attimes is not about who donated the sperm but who was there as a father. She is your child forget DNA.
As for your wife I will also advice you divorce her, she is promiscuous, she didn't just have sex as a one off thing or mistake as they say"but with multiple partners. It is better to remain safe than to be dead
I feel for you sha. Reasons why I dont encourage boasting about your marriage partner, cos no partner is above mistake. But will people hear? If e good, keep kwayet and seal it under your bed.
ReplyDeleteThe final decision lies with you, in the end. It is well.
Chikito I remember this man he never boasted about his partner being faithful but himself.
DeleteHe said he doesn't cheat and he never will. Not that his wife doesn't cheat. He kept on trying to prove himself to you and bb and you guys added him to the 5% that doesn't cheat when oga refused to leave you guys alone.
He never vouched for his partner but himself I don't know why people are saying he bragged.
Where did i say 'he bragged'?
DeleteI said: THIS IS WHY I DONT ENCOURAGE BOASTING ABOUT PARTNERS, BECAUSE NOBODY IS ABOVE MISTAKE.
Abeg dont make it look like I'm dragging a man that's already feeling down. Read and understand, or hapumaka!!!
On point 18'52
DeleteThis is a sad one. Poster you need to find out if your wife is a serial cheat, but she does not even know because she was sleeping with multiple people at the same time. That is shocking. Some women sha. No fear of God at all. You are cheating on your husband with multiple partners. I cant still wrap my head around this. Am so sorry about this poster, no one deserves this kind of pain.
ReplyDeleteShe might be lying about that because she doesn’t want to mention the person
DeleteThis is really disheartening.Bros move on jare! Atleast you've known now that we human are not to be trusted.Your wife is very wicked just like some double standard commenters here.Is it not on this blog,that i read some comments about taking a secret to the grave.Even when secret is life threatening.Is it Selfishness? Even in anonymous post,you will see them going anonymous to spills their wicked and immoral acts.May God have mercy.
ReplyDeleteThere's a golden rule that says "Do to others as you would have them do to you"This is beyond simply being kind to people,feelings are to be considered too.This kind of betrayal can cause one to take a drastic action either by committing suicide or killing the betrayer herself..Marriage is really a lifelong business transaction.Either you lose somehow or you gain.
Poster,you deserve better biko..Wishing you all the best.Life goes on.
I know its so painful,but pls take it like a man....and remember to take care of your kids.
ReplyDeleteSo you want to forget about your other children because of one lousy liar's cheating. I can not advice you on what to do because I would not tolerate a liar however you should think carefully because of your other children. Your wife is dangerous for deceiving you. Whatever you do, just know that you are not a bad person for being faithful. You are not faithful because of a human being but you do all for the sake of your soul. If people mocking you makes you rethink being faithful then you are not that good a person as you tout.
ReplyDeleteSorry to come down hard but you are a grown man and should know that no matter what your real self can not be changed because of someone else's stupidity. You will heal,I assure you. You loved that child and you should not stop loving the child. You do not just love a child because they are yours right? It is not her fault that her mother is a snake.
If I say I am not lost for words, then I would be lying. All I'll say at this juncture however is that the decision to stay or leave lies in your hands.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you choose to do at the end of the day, I implore that you treat that child as yours. You never can tell what the future holds.
God be with you!
Sorry for what has happened to you. Truth be told no amount of advice would do right now. You will receive a lot of counsel in form of advice but give it time as you heal you are bound to get clarity on what step would be in the interest of everyone to take and best of all your happiness. Only he who wears the shoe best can tell how it feels so therefore only you can decide. People will say forgive but only you lived with her and only you can tell if that's a line you can still tow. Firstly forgive her yes, not because you want to take her back but for your own sanity and peace of mind and sanity as this will give you a clear head to judge her case without sentiments. After that give it time do not be in a rush to take any decisions. You will be fine cos i speak from 1st hand experience.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for the fraud that hit you inform of marriage,
ReplyDeletebrother God will see you tru
Chai, Africa....imagine saying i sent her out of the house already, like she is some slave. The house belong to both of u,and you have no right to send her packing no matter what. You both must sit and talk about who moves out. It best u move out, cos it best the kids stay with their mom. I'm sorry for what u going through though. Take a DNA test to be sure though, that child could be yours for all you know. She slept with multiple guys, yes, but she was sleeping with u at the same time too. May God give you wisdom to take the right decision.
ReplyDeletePoster I feel for you honestly, you are in a tough situation, but I sense some pride in you and in the tone of your chronicle. Pride that you were a virgin, pride that you are able to provide for your family. Also, you seem quick to jump to conclusions. You are concerned about what others are saying about you, and just a text message prompted you to quickly throw your wife out, without first testing the child in question and your other children, and seeking counsel. This is not the time to make permanent decisions.
DeleteI however sense your deep pain. That is understandable, you have been betrayed and lied to. Trust is broken, but if really you are the Christian you say you are, I think you can find it within to get to the bottom of this matter with a view to fixing things. Not by your power but with God's help.
Anon 00:06 - gbammest 💯
DeleteYour analysis is spot on!!!
I’ll add one thing - Fatherhood is more than blood. You raised that child. Do not break that child’s heart. How you handle it will
Impact her forever and if you love her through his, keep being a father, you will reap great rewards. This
Is the kind of child that will celebrate you till your last days! Apply caution and don’t be too concerned about what people say
Chai Africa, like really?, but you won't say chai America when a woman sends a man out of the house he bought with his own money huh?,.
DeleteHe has no right to send her out?, well she lost that right when she the truth came out or you didn't read when she was confronted and she said she doesn't know which of her exes has the child?.
Anon 00:06, you sense some pride and what if he has some pride?, or is it not here we read people's comment on how they gave different styles, had great sex and all but when it comes to virgin they have pride abi? Why are we always trying to silence these people?, we hear gay pride,slut walk, people pride themselves in their sexual conquests about breaking bed, but when it comes to these people we are quick to hush them telling them they seem prideful the moment they mention that word "virgin". If e easy we for all be virgin nau. Don't pretend you can't see how some comments are stylishly trying to mock him that he might not be good in bed, if that is not a pride in sexual prowess then tell me what it is. As if experience in sex makes on good in bed,the man may even be better than most with enough sexual experience sef.
The man tried, Abegii let him flaunt and have pride (though it doesn't seem that way to me for he was just trying to explain well before people would say what did you do to her to make her cheat) How many men has time to buy clothes they see on other women's body for their wives rather than go outside and cheat, is it not this same men who would tell the wives they dont like makeup or a particular dressing but go after women who dresses same way.
How many men go to the market and even cook, or no be this naija we dey so?, where most men wouldn't enter the kitchen to save their lives.
Sir, i think she never cheated in that marriage but maybe a weeks before and she got with the child, please forgive her If she's remorseful. No perfect marriage everyone is just smiling outside but we don't know what they are covering underneath their clothes.
Please forgive, yes it's not easy and may take time but please try, am sure if it was you she would forgive.Read ZARAM comment it's deep.
In America, it is allowed when they have children, and they live with the mother. That is the normal thing to do. Whoever has the kids, keeps the house. If this man has impregnated a side chick, he would still have kicked the woman out. out.Women and kids have no right in Africa, that's what I'm saying. Brittney Spears is paying money to her ex husband, cos he has the kids, and that's the right thing to do. That's all I'm saying. Once two people gets married, every property belongs to both of them.Not only cheating leads to divorce, so many other reasons can,but nobody has the right to kick anybody out.....that's all I'm saying. Him being a virgin was his choice, no big deal. Taking care of your family is a responsibility. Like I'm I the one suppose to take care of his family for him? I feel his pain, and it a sad sad situation, but he had no right sending that woman out. like "I sent her out already"....like seriously?
DeleteAnon 6:42 calm down. My opinion is my opinion and I stand by it. He came here for advice and knew he will see various opinions so nor be fight. I didn't say it is bad to be a virgin, nor that it is bad to take care of your family. But if these things per chance makes you feel superior to other humans, it is a problem. Sin is sin, no matter what form it takes and pride goes before a fall. My comment is based on how he presented his chronicle. Also until I know the woman's side of the story, I cannot say much about her. I mean for eg I read about a woman on this blog who foolishly had a tryst with her ex before marriage, but after marriage sensed the baby wasn't her husband's. She was being a good and faithful wife but plagued with fear of telling her husband. In her case, she didn't suspect till baby was born and she saw some resemblance to her ex. Not all judgements are black and white. Some need the wisdom of Solomon.
DeleteIt's okay if you are not getting it.
DeleteI said it in bracket there's no way he sounded superior, the man was just trying to give a detailed post, simple.
Rather you focused on the virgin part and didn't point to the exact part that made you feel he showed pride.
Why do people morality radar goes up instantly and sense pride that is non-existent when that "v" word is mentioned, i just tire.
Until i see the day we caution a non-virgin to stop feeling fly because they got experience in the other room and stop feeling superior to virgins when it comes to bedmatics then don't bother these people feeling themselves in their own way.
Because in the end we are all guilty of these kinds of behaviour, which is what am trying to point out.
The Former is glorifying sin and feeling fly, the latter is being self-righteous abi?, na true, but in the end, well, all na SIN.
Poster I may not feel it hard as you are doing right now but I was also lied too,fool,insulted,dumped for another woman, our story may be different. You alone can do want makes you happy,the final decision s with you, you alone can forgive r divorce her,I said no to my ex ,I left my marriage cos what he did to me was terrible, I could it take it,if I forgive I'm I may kill him,instead of killing him,I rather end the marriage.
ReplyDeleteIf you cannot take the heat,get out of the kitchen, f you cannot forgive we for real,divorce her. Please love all the kids,is not their fault.
you people saying forgiveness like its that easy... that woman cheated and even brought a bastard home.
ReplyDeletemay God heal you sir
ReplyDeleteYou need to talk with your woman. And I don’t mean the prideful shouting match that We Nigerian men are wont to do in times like this but real y’all.. and for that you may need a professional. Find out about getting a couple counselor. Divorce is not the answer. It will
ReplyDeleteNot heal your pain. You can get thru it and have an even happier marriage in the future
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete