*Shaking my head*
TRUE CONFESSIONS
Hi Stella. Good job you are doing. please i want to seek your opinion and that of your readers. please keep me anonymous.
I am in a relationship (long distance) and we are a little over a year. I came clean to my boyfriend that i cheated on him because i could not keep it in anymore. He said he forgave me but apparently he did not.
Hi Stella. Good job you are doing. please i want to seek your opinion and that of your readers. please keep me anonymous.
I am in a relationship (long distance) and we are a little over a year. I came clean to my boyfriend that i cheated on him because i could not keep it in anymore. He said he forgave me but apparently he did not.
It was hard on him. I wanted to end it because i had broken the trust but he said he still wants the relationship. We were seriously considering marriage. Today, he told me that he told his mother and somehow all of his family knows what i did. I don't know if i should continue this relationship knowing this.
I genuinely love him but i don't want my secret to be what they know me for. I have never met his parents or his siblings we have just spoken on the phone.
What do i do?
What do i do?
*You call it coming clean?ARE YOU SILLY?...HE WILL NEVER TRUST YOU IF HE MARRIES YOU and that marriage will be dead on arrival...you should have repented privately and not confessed cos your confession will haunt you forever.....end it and move on please!
Hahahahaha good girl oya continue telling them you cheat. Good for you. No marriage be that.
ReplyDeleteNext time you cheat, tell it to God Almighty to help you overcome the weakness
No mind am.
DeleteAfter all the advice we dish out here.
Some people never learn
And the guy has never cheated?
DeletePoster, this one is not a man. No matter how hurt and disappointed he felt, he shouldn't hv told his family. Marry this one and any little argument, you will be explaining to his family.
DeleteHe did not tell anybody.
DeleteMen are too ashamed to say things like this when dating because it makes them look inadequate.
He is looking for a way to discharge you so that you won't say he was the one who chased him away. Especially if you have done a lot for him.
Trust me.
I know men like the back of my palm.
Nest time, when your mouth is scratching you get a bowl of water, speak everything inside and pour it away. You don't know Nigerian men are the most childish in the world.
Some men are so childish to a fault where is the maturity there? Him telling his people everything you did? My dear is that the kind of person you wanna get married to? You better end that relationship as fast as you can, and also learn from it next time you don't disclose anything decreat that will implicate you to your man, whoever that man is. I hope you've learnt your lesson?
DeleteMy ex was also like this cos he was handicapped no money no Job he allowed his siblings control him. He tells them virtually everything, omo I couldn't understand why a man in his 40's fa behaves like an idiot cos they feed him or what?
thank God I ended it
Lazy Akwaibom guy.
I don't even understand what the confession is meant to do for them. Confess to a boyfriend you cheated, so that he will do what....honestly I don't understand some babes. Is that your boyfriend innocent; evenif he is, of what good would your confession do to him...I'm annoyed aswear!
DeletePoster listen to anon 19:42 .
DeleteIn addition to that I pray you gather sense moving forward (amen) in your next relationship never tell a man everything, never! Only tell them what they love to hear. They don’t tell you everything anyway so why extend such to them, you have to be discreet and tactical while using your head with dealing with men. Keep love on hold, It’s an action word.
@Crystal can we cut these guys some slack sometimes??
DeleteHow about we address the fact that some women are too foolish to apply common sense? How do you tell a guy you cheated on him? What did you smoke? If the reverse was the case, will he tell you? Dumbina poster!!
Abeg commot for hia. If na to flex muscle for SDK blog, una go line up. Common sense you dont have. Some restitution is between you and God and this is one of them. For f**ks sake dude aint even married to you yet. What rubbish confession?
@anon19:43 Too much sense will not kill you. So on point with your analysis. 👌🏽
DeleteOk SDK repented privately you say?????
DeleteI wi practise that
Madam, please end this relationship. You can never enjoy. I am married to an immature man who runs to his family and church member on every issue Including what I call secret between couple. We are parting ways now though. I am irritated daily at this. So please do not.you might end up regretting.They will taunt you with this information.Foolish Men
DeleteHaba! That bros no be am
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing you never met his Family.
ReplyDeleteMove on
He will always use it to judge you in the future. Let him go.
ReplyDeleteI used to be like you, so open in a relationship.I will gladly talk about my exes and body count.
ReplyDeleteIt was a guy that i was dating that told me/taught me that its not everything that i'm asked that i say.I had to learn how to keep somethings to my self.
I remember one instance that broke him, i had to go to my school to do something and i had no where to stay apart from my ex school boyfriends place.I truthfully told my guy where i was staying and truly nothing happened but the thought of my staying at my ex shattered him.His Sister called me to say that i should never tell a guy something like that even though she appreciates how open i am.
I hate to lie, i try as much as i can not to lie too.I would rather not talk about it than lie.
Don't break up with him yet, the coming days will determine if you will still be with him.If he is still angry give him time to process everything then you talk about what next?
Its either he forgives and you move on or he holds onto it and you break up.
All the best
Your case is different.
DeleteShe gbenshed another guy and her boyfriend still have the picture in his head to the extent of telling his family members ah she should just move on abg
Most guys who insist on staying after finding out you cheated are only going that to “teach you a lesson”, “show you pepper” and waste you time for daring to cheat on them. He won’t marry you (at least not for the right reasons) but string you along for as long as he can. He’s already building the foundation by telling you he told his mother. He’ll later tell you he loves you so much but his family can’t get over the fact that you cheated and can’t accept you so he has to move on too bla bla bla; meanwhile, he would have been dating and even gotten engaged to someone else while sucking your youthfullness dry. You should be smart now and free yourself. Cry and tell him you’re so sorry for what you did, that you can’t forgive yourself, the guilt consumes you every time you see him and how he’s been so good and forgiving to you. Break up on that ground and never look back. Maybe his need for revenge would also be soothed a little that way but never get back together with him!! If you get pregnant, it’ll only be as baby mama and if by some stroke of luck you get hitched to him, he’ll never stop bringing it up and even accusing you of all sorts in the future. His family would even be worse to you.
DeletePoster please listen to anon 16.43 here. Very good advice. It will end very badly for you of you stay. Why did you even cheat see. Stay size for for a while and work on yourself.
DeleteMy ex thought me to keep my secrets to myself. Any slight argument, he will use whatever you told him to insult shege comot for your body.
DeleteHis family knows about your being unfaithful to their Son already, that is how they will always see you. You shouldn't have told him that you cheated on him. He could not even keep your secret and you are still in the relationship? Please, try to move on, you haven't heard the last of what you confessed. You will be alright. Take care.
ReplyDeleteTruth is.He will pay you back sis.Better break up now and free yourself.Guys are wicked like that.
DeleteAbeg wey Linda, your children Don bring food for you, silly girl. Una no dey hear word,shey he tell you say he never roja one girl all this while abi? Makeuna dey turn boyfriend to priest.
ReplyDeleteYou confessed to him that you cheated??? Who does that? Is the guy a saint??
ReplyDeleteJust take Stella's advice and move on. Na you carry your own hand do yourself...Mother confessor
Mother confessor hahahahaha
DeleteLol @mother confessor.
DeleteOh I didn't even see your comment when I called her mother confessor down there. That's what she is really.
DeleteYou are a big fool!! Who goes to confess to a man? Why not confess to God? Don’t bother about that marriage as your dickhead boyfriend went to tell his family, u would be seen as a prostitute even if his sisters have done worse, na u go expose yourself .. move on
ReplyDeleteSo your comment wouldn't have made sense if you did not call her a fool abi
DeleteBut she is fool na. Who does that if not a fool.
DeleteI second what Stella said, the relationship is dead on arrival, quietly call it off and move on, even if he forgives you and move on, his family members won't.
ReplyDeleteEverybody want write chronicle, I feel this poster just want test her writing skills, because who dey do this kind thing again for this era. Madame marriage no be for adult like you, honestly you sound underage.
ReplyDeleteMy dear girls dey do am ooo.Love with ur head una no go hear...dats why I respect d runs gals na dem dey get beta hubby. The foolish immature guy even went to tell the universe...my dear put ur shoes for ur head n run, next time don't spill trash...do guys spill diers...Mary d good gal
DeleteLots of ladies do it o, I remember introducing a gal to a guy and smhow the girl's cousin bought her pants and a phone, he became curious and started asking how of all things to buy her nah pants, the idiot girl told him she was raped by her cousin when they were younger. Really? He raped you? after many years you went to his house to live with his wife and he travels and comes back with pants for you? The guy told me it meant only one thing, that she and her cousin are lovers and I couldn't agree less. Relationship end
DeletePoster you ruined your relationship by coming clean.what happened to using your common sense to know that MEN DON'T FORGIVE INFIDELITY.
ReplyDeleteforget the relationship and move on as all his family would ever know of you is the girl who couldn't stay faithful.
Plus a man who shares everything you tell him with his family will NEVER make a good husband
LEP😛
I will be a serious yeye if I confess my shit to mere mortal, I make my damn confessions to God n ask for forgiveness. He has told his mom n whoever what u did, if he marries u tomoro, there will be trust issues and his mom will use it to judge u any day u misyarn.
ReplyDeleteI used to think that you don’t believe in God.
DeleteWhy wouldn't she believe in God??????
DeleteNa wa. Just move on please. If you end it, there is a chance that y'all might come back together if he really wants to be with you. If that happens, you guys will be starting over on a clean slate. Don't hold your breath though.
ReplyDeleteYou're so single, my sister. Are you supposed to apologize to his whole family? The guy never ready.
ReplyDeleteWhy did you tell your boyfriend that you cheated on him? You would have just clean mouth and promise yourself not to do it again.
ReplyDeleteSomeone secrets are meant to be taken to the grave sister girl
No African man would want to imagine another man gbenshing his woman's ponyor.
His family members know about it already so just save your self the embarrassment and MOVE ON coz they will use it against you. Save your FACE
Your boyfriend will never trust you and will always suspect your every move.
if you like stay you will cry a river but the decision is yours👀👀👀
Today, he told me that he told his mother and somehow all of his family knows what i did.......huh?
ReplyDeletei dont have a problem with you telling him you cheated o, you guys are not married yet. But him telling his mum and his family?...dude is not a real man and likely to be petty af. This issue is going to come up again and again when you marry, either from him or his family and this guy wont even protect you. He is gonna make you pay..Are you sure he is not a mama's boy? If you dont want to be miserable in your marriage, just walk away, this is a super red flag....but what do u even know!
My ex was telling me when I get into a relationship I should let him know oh. I said why not, wonder what he wants to use it for. Till now it I just can't date someone else when I'm in a very strong relationship. He will wait tire. Then you went n confess as in why? Is that how he confessed to you?
ReplyDeletefinding out your partner cheated is awful and ignorance is bliss, but you can't have a healthy relationship based on lies.
ReplyDeleteThe not wanting to further damage someone pyschologically is a bs cowardly excuse to not fess up and accept consequences of your actions. It's not about saving the other person and feeling better, its about saving yourself because you know the truth would cost you. The logic doesn't even make sense, you know it's going to hurt them so why would you actually feel better after confessing? For me at least id feel worse because 1 you just hurt someone and 2 now you know your relationship could be over. If anything confessing shows you care more about the persons well being by giving them honesty and the choice to stay or go. So poster contrary to popular opinion here ,you did the right thing.
Also, this goes without saying...that guy is an insufferable infantile douche.
So many women on this forum have dead conscience. She confess because of her conscience and not out of morals. Not everyone will carry secrets to the grave. I do not think what she did was wrong. Marrying the guy should not be a do or die affair, after all they are not yet married.
ReplyDeletePoster only few men can forgive a cheating wife/girlfriend but all men will NEVER forget. so I will advise you to break up with him and move on.
ReplyDeletebut ofu mkpuru Uche atogboghi gi na ime, maka Chi.
why did you confess?
Chike, amamihe koro ya. Nzuzu ya enweghi atu.
DeleteHe is either an emotional abusive partner or an immature Mummy's boy... A Man should protect his woman's image before his family for respect & peace sake, after all he claimed he had forgiven d act. He's just opened arsenal against U in d future. Pls ma darling, move on! U have got a pure heart, don't let them destroy you...
ReplyDeletegirl move on, u have spoiled the relationship, it will never be the same again
ReplyDeleteSister mary the good girl, Aka Ada jesus..
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I think she did the right thing.. let's not be deceived.. a clear conscience is peace..
ReplyDeleteshe reported herself because she was feeling guilty about it and the reason she felt guilty was because she really loves him..
the only issue here is the fact that the guy reported her to his family..that's really low
Honestly, I think she did the right thing.. let's not be deceived.. a clear conscience is peace..
ReplyDeleteshe reported herself because she was feeling guilty about it and the reason she felt guilty was because she really loves him..
the only issue here is the fact that the guy reported her to his family..that's really low
©student_bv
Pls kindly move on.
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel by telling him but he was the one that didn't do well by telling his family your secret. Pls don't bother about the relationship anymore because his family will use it against you and the look they will be giving you when they finally knows you won't be nice.
Just save yourself the headache because your boyfriend isn't man enough to handle the matter.
Good girl, Clap for yourself 👏 👏 👏 you think your boyfriend is a saint, take this as a big lesson if this your relationship doesn't survive
ReplyDeleteMy sister you didn’t do bad by telling him, Infact my wife did the samething to me, we were in the same university and she cheated on me with one guy,I was the head of a cult group in school and I knew she and the guy were having sex but the first day I confronted her about it, she just told me the truth and that her reason for cheating was her youthful exuberance. Omo I just forgave her and that’s one of the few things that made me marry her. Your man should not have told his family, I didn’t tell anyone about what happened between me and my wife but I won’t lie, I still use it to tease her when we have quarrels, we have learnt to laugh over it now. We make mistake, I respect your courage in coming out clean.
ReplyDeleteHope she doesn't doesn't do it again oo
DeletePoster, hope you’re reading this! He said he “teases” his wife with her previous infidelity when they quarrel. A married couple quarreling and the husband bringing up the wife’s past infidelity before marriage and calling it “teasing”. You can imagine what the wife has to look forward to. I’m sure the guy will feel free to cheat anyhow now and justify it with what happened back when they were in uni. Yours is even worse because his family members don’t need to quarrel with you before they throw it in your face at every opportunity.
DeleteI hope that you did not deal with the guy that she cheated on you with. Hope the guy is okay.
DeleteShe cheated and confessed to him wat she did,wat if d guy finds out or he saw it somewhere or he was told by her friends. Whatever d guy did wt it is his problem. That is how life should be, simple and free. The prodigal son went to his father and seek for forgiveness and was forgiven.
ReplyDeleteIf I was d guy, I will ask Wat led to it and we will both work against it for future occurrence.
Stop tormenting yourself because you did nothing wrong by telling the truth. It's a pity the guy is immature to the extent of telling his family.
ReplyDeleteYou know better now to avoid repeating the same mistake again. Just move on please.
Foolish girls do this hoping it will make their man trust them but it doesn't. Why tell your man you cheated on him when you're planning to marry. You only confess this when you're tired of the relationship and want to break up. So did he confess his own or he's a saint. Oshey good girl. Mother confessor. Ekwurekwu.
ReplyDeleteJust end the relationship. That man will never trust you again.
Why are we so "double-standard". We crucified the other lady for waiting 10 years to reveal to her husband that the daughter he thought was his is not his.
ReplyDeleteHere we are blaming this lady for coming out clean. No difference between a relationship and marriage, its just a translation. You cant build your marriage on such faulty foundation of lies. Tell he/she the truth, let them make the decision to stay or go. If they cant take it let them go, someone who will love you with your messed up past will come, you know why? Everybody has got a past. Dont hide your past, some devil will use it to blackmail you in future. Your past is part of the mix that make you who you are today.
The guy should not have involved his family... You should be man enough to protect your fiancee/wife.
Dear I wouldn't know the man and his family members way of reasoning. If it was me I would forgive and forget. My family gives no attention or concern what so ever for my choice of woman/wife. But with the kind of people we have today that only see the wrong of others and point fingers of blame. Nne leave that man for the sake of your peace of mind and sanity. Because he might be those vengeful type that sees only the wrong of others and not their own wrong doing.
ReplyDeleteIn as much as I'm not a fan of confessing sins to a partner, however if you feel you Should,the only thing I can say is this, if your partner is not mature enough to handle your truths, there is no need confessing your sins to him.Take it to God.
ReplyDeleteAbeg poster,move on and forget about this relationship, ur guy will and can never trust you. Some secret are better kept secret.
DeleteGbese re oh
ReplyDeleteOya come and be cheating with me jare and let me show you how to keep your mouth shut.
ReplyDeleteFor the sake of the future and the kids you might have together,dont marry him!!!if he forgives and forget,most of his family members might not,koda the paternity of your kids will be questioned later!!
ReplyDelete