How should house helps be treated?
Some people are of the opinion that you should be harsh to them because if you are nice to them, they will take it for weakness and misbehave. Others said we should treat them nicely as they treat our children the way we treat them.
Personally, I wouldn't like to have maids live in my home, if I need extra helping hands, I would prefer someone who does not live with me, someone who comes, does the necessary jobs and goes back to her house.
Some people are of the opinion that you should be harsh to them because if you are nice to them, they will take it for weakness and misbehave. Others said we should treat them nicely as they treat our children the way we treat them.
Personally, I wouldn't like to have maids live in my home, if I need extra helping hands, I would prefer someone who does not live with me, someone who comes, does the necessary jobs and goes back to her house.
However, in a situation where it is unavoidable for me to have a live-in maid, I will treat her with kindness, care for her like a child or sister of mine. Let her pay me with evil and let posterity judge her.
I hate it when I see a domestic hand being treated like a slave. It makes me sad.
There is one help close to my house. A girl of about 10. This girl who was brought in from the East 3yrs back was at home for 2yrs before she was registered in a public school last year. She goes to school 2 or 3times in a week and even at that, she leaves home around 9:am. Wakes up as early as 5:am, that is the time I start hearing her name. Her sleeping time I honestly don't know because I still hear her madam screaming her name even around 12am.
She looks so unkept, always wearing white-washed or torn over-sized clothes, evidently passed down to her by her madam. Tattered slippers with marks all over her body. She looks sad always. When she newly came, she was chubby but now, only her head is big.
It breaks my heart anytime I see her. I tell anyone that cares to listen that I will never treat another woman's child that way.
So, my fellow bvs, what about you? Treat them good or bad? Any personal experience?
Mama Tee
You see some house help and you wonder if the people they are living with are humans
ReplyDeleteI don't have a help, but lemme share my colleague's experience with her help. She came to work very late one morn cos she didn't sleep all night. Her house help of a year+ came to her at about 10pm that she wants to leave that night. She pleaded and try to talk out of it but the help insisted. When my Coll asked to wait till morn she refused and insisted she wants to leave immediately. She had to call her Mum who brought the girl,she scolded the help and told if she must leave she should wait till morn. She broke down crying that she can sleep in the house that night, my coll became curious na that time confession start.
DeleteShe said if she should sleep in the house that night her 2nd son who's sick will die that night cos they've been eating him bit by bit and it's time for her to bring the full goat(him). That my colleague treats her so well so she doesn't not have the heart to kill the boy. She quickly called her husband,Mum and neighbours to come and hear. She now asked her if she initiated any of her 3kids she said no. She called her Pastor too so he took the girl away to spend the night in the church then will leave for her village in the morn. She wasn't herself throughout at work. She said she noticed her 2nd son suddenly started falling sick every now and then and very lean. She's always in and out of the hospital cos of him. Always malaria or infection never connected it to her help coming.
DeleteI trust my friend's wife being a lab technician... Any girl that steps into her home, the first thing she does is to subject the girl to test. You can't believe that a 14 years old girl that came has hepatitis C and STD, likewise a second girl of 16 years. Our young girls are already rotten.
ReplyDeleteThat test is very necessary when employing a helper or nanny.
DeleteYoung girls are rotten and the men that sleeps with them are naive right? Sometimes some of these "rotten" girls with stds were raped by the so called 'naive' men
Deleteit is not that young girls are rotten. it is that there are predators everywhere. she did not get the hepatitis c and STD from the sky, someone probably had sex with her and because she is a minor and a poor person, probably had no choice. what would you call the person who (knowingly) infected her with std?
DeleteMr bulus d men dat sleep with them are what??
DeleteThose test are necessary. Very necessary. You can't even enter my house without those test done. Interview is at my balcony. After which we go to the hospital from there. If everything is fine, we come back together and you resume work. I can't shout.
DeleteGirls are rotten & men that sleeps with them to infect them are fresh abi may sense of how to talk fall on you
DeleteAbeg who made them rotten??? No be men like you?? When will men begin to take responsibility and call their fellow rapists and molesters in chiefs to order?? Rotten my royal black ass!
DeleteMr Bulus hope you dont have young girls in your family?
DeleteThanks for this mama Tee.
ReplyDeleteI have this boy in my area staying with his uncle,no lies oooo,this guy can work my bus Stop to his house 10 times in a day and it's not a short distances ooo,they maltreat him,always hungry,done with secondary school yet no hope or trance of him going to uni.This guy is brilliant and very smart but this uncle is terrible.I pray help comes his way soon.No father no mother and your uncle is treating you like shit.It is well.Abeg pardon my gbagun
Oh dear! This is heartbreaking. I feel bad too anytime I see this girl I talked about up there but I don't even know how to come in, I don't know how to go about it in a way that I won't get into trouble
DeleteThe one living with a lady in my compound doesn't even go to school. She takes her bath outside and the house is a 3bedroom flat. Only the 2 of them living in the house. She takes her bath very late at night or early hours of the day. I just tire for the woman.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteTreat people the way you'd want to be treated.
ReplyDeleteMy mum has house helps and she treats them harshly. When I went to Ghana for holidays and saw how she treated them I felt sad so I made it my job to treat them with love and care. Can you believe these girls turned against me and they started reporting everything I did to my mother so I decided to keep my distance until I got back to Italy. Nowadays when I go back to Ghana I stay away from them and when I see my mum treat them harshly I keep quiet.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you help the poor lad, by alerting the welfare services in Nigeria? They are very functional.
ReplyDeleteWho will bribe them to do their job cos last time I check Nigerian welfare services won't work unless you bribe them
DeleteSome of these maids are pure evil,no matter how well they are treated they won't stop misbehaving.
ReplyDeleteMy mum had one some years ago,this girl is so nice,hardworking and very respectful,very beautiful too,she had a room to herself but one day we wanted to fumigate the house and my mum told her to bring out her things,that was how an idol like frame fell from her bag.She claimed she was the wife of an idol or bethroned to an idol(something like that) in her village(she's Egun)that she meant no harm,we had to take her back to the agent that brought her.
Apart from her we have been lucky with all our helps probably because mother treats them well.
So how is she wicked...because she serves a different god...Christianity has brain washed u people
DeleteHow is she wicked ? Because her believe system is different from yours ? I don’t understand please explain
DeleteNot everyone wants an idol worshipper in their house.
DeleteI have watched a documentary on this before on National Geographic channel, about those idols in Benin republic. Some are given to twins and some the idol is their twin. They are given to them as kids, they even name them. They sleep with it, bath with it, even give it food, maybe its palm oil or smthn cant remember.
Not everyone that is a Christian will want this in their home, and you cant blame her. All these things have spiritual implications whether you like it or not. It is her choice to have who she feels comfortable with in her home especially if the maid is taking care of kids.
Presentation is really important...this picture abi cartoon of this sexy young lady full of life is what made me ready your stories Mama Tee😂😂😂😂I know its funny, right? Anyway if I ever have a maid I'll make sure I treat the person well
ReplyDeleteMe too like that beautiful babe 👆 there
Delete*Larry was here*
A lot of people are so mean to their house help
ReplyDeleteNa wa. These are sad stories I just read. Very very sad. To think these are people's kids. Please parents do your best to provide for your kids so they dont end up as house helps in peoples homes
ReplyDeleteI dont have one sha neither do I plan to have. We do d work ourselves. Where bodi tire us we stop. Continue the next day. No prize for first position so not struggling for it.
The way some women treat their househelps is so alarmin.
ReplyDeletethe only shout karma when a side chic comes 4 their hubby forgetting that karma will also serve them hot because of the way the treat their househelps.
if i ever get house help 4 this life eh! I will treat her with so much love because of my love 4 children
Exactly, karma my foot. When you can't treat your house help nice, how can a human being work from 5am to midnight.
DeleteIf you as a human being can be tired , why do you expect your house help to be a machine??
This is why I argued seriously with my elder sister. I was so upset with her. You have a 13 year old house help who you expect to be able to do everything but your own daughter that is 11 cannot lift a finger.
I asked her what is the age difference between the 2 of them that you expect this girl to do so much,the girl will clean 20 times in a day,mop etc.
No house help stays with her because they work and work and my sister will claim they are working for their money, gosh. Meanwhile, she is a born again Christian , even a pastor,smh.
Anon, you just described my elder sis. Some people are inherently wicked.
DeleteHaving a househelp will be difficult for me with all the stories of atrocities they commit flying around....abeg me no dey do but if eventually I have I will train her up to her first degree. I like to treat others the way I want to be treated
ReplyDeleteI can't stand the sight of maltreatment of any kind, right now I have a nanny, an advanced woman, I wS so lucky cos she's been nice to me, so I treat her very nicely too, in fact most times when people come home there think she's mum. Anyday she is sick and I ask her not to come, she will rather prefer to come and stay at myself. I like her alot too. We both treat ourselves like family .But my hubby thinks I'm over spoiling her. Cos most times we do all the house chores together lol.except now that I'm pregnant, l plan to have a house help maybe later like a child I will take off the streets, I pray she is nice cos I will treat her with all goodness, And as my own child
ReplyDeleteIm not a soft person. So i wont treat my help with a soft hand.
ReplyDeleteBut as for dresses, shes an ambassador of my family so i must get her nice things.
My husband better be soft cos i wont treat d kids softly as well
Easier said than done, na una type dey spoil kids.
DeleteI feel sad for that young girl. That madam should be arrested for child abuse. She should be in school not working as a slave. She is still a child.
ReplyDeleteMost women are lazy and heartless. Treat your domestic staff the way you would like to be treated. If they eventually treat your family bad, deal with them legally, leave it to God or better still don’t hire them at all. I don’t have help, never have and never will thanks to before and after school club where I live.
In as far as I don't want a maid, I don't think I can treat any child bad will definitely treat my maid well if I have one. Many of us will like to be treated like royalty in our places of work but how many treat their maid like that?..Forgeting that your good deed today will surely speak for you in future.
ReplyDeleteCutest pat, why in God’s name would you treat your maid like ‘royalty’ ARE YOU MAD. Is a house girl a QUEEN? Awon ode. That is why they are messing you people up and snatching your husbands
DeleteIkwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa
DeleteNa my name wey I see for here na him make me stop here.
OK
Cutest Pat eyeneka, why them go treat workers like royalty na?
Anon 13:41 get lost stop menstruating under my comment.
Deletesome house girls are evil,do away with them if you can,though there are some good ones,but they are rare
ReplyDeleteWomen stop having plenty children ,have the number of kids that you can take care of, not your husband cos there's nothing like child support when these men stop providing or leave you or when your husband dies.
ReplyDeleteAyam telling you
DeleteLater if one of the parents die, them go come share the children give family members make them go dey do 'omo odo'
Whwn I was growing up, my mum treated the house maids/helps better than us. She buys their xmas clothes before our own, she pays their school fees before our own, she even wake us up before them. One day I got angry and confronted her because I am the first child, her response was that she cant spend her time training another persons child, while her own spoils and knows nothing. Now I understand that she didnt hate us then but she was preparing us to be a better independent children. That is why today, after the death of our father and all the helps were laid off, we didnt feel it because we are already used to the works at home.
ReplyDeletemy mother told me how her neighbour brought a 2 yr old to be her nanny and help look after her new born. yes you read right, 2 yr old. the husband did nothing (he was scared of his wife. she used to pursue people from the husband shop claiming that they were out to seduce her husband). the girl use to come to their shop to sweep (imagine a 2 yr old sweeping) and the only meal she would have is lunch (a miserable one at that). every evening, she would cry to my mother that she did not want to follow her madam back. when confronted, her madam said she was training her to endure life as a good christian. the women on the street sha ganged up against her and threatened to report her if she did not return the child.
ReplyDeletethe annoying thing is that the child is her elder sisters child, a blood relative
Holy Christ!
DeleteA two year old maid?
The heart of man
Like Seriously 2years old,some kids at that age still wears pampams ooo,i dont believe it..
Delete2year old! Are you sure? A 2 year old is still a toddler fa, he/she can't even talk yet. Abeg o
Deleteplease i do not believe this, 2 years? how come? who does that???
DeleteWow a two year old ?? That’s a 24 months old baby !!!! That’s a baby ....
DeleteOLUWA O. Did you mean 2yrs or 12yrs old.
DeleteMaybe she is like 5yrs old and just malnourished.
pls what does a 2yr old even understand to do, many 2yrs old you are even still feeding them and changing pull-ups for them.
She ought to have been reported to the authorities. That is baby labour not even child-labour.
which kain lies be this?
DeleteMbanu
DeleteI nor believe this one
I believe. Someone offered me a 4 yr old when I was looking for a nanny. I was shocked and her explanation was that she will grow with my baby. I quickly declined. Tufiakwa
Deleteis better to have the ones that come and go,me i wont allow overfamiliarity but will make sure your needs are met.
ReplyDeleteEveryone is forming "I hate seeing people maltreated" so who are the people who maltreat their maids? You can't tell me they are not here na. My mum had several maids while we were kids and she treated them well most times but once anyone developed wings, she showed them the door. I didn't like the idea of getting a help because I felt it made us lazy as children.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any and don't plan on having because of some many bad tales about them .
ReplyDeleteSome are extremely nice like Mary, such a beautiful angel but some are something else.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why people mistreat their house helps.My girl is treated as if she were truly my daughter. Even though I don't have much,i still sent her to a private school. I drop her the same time I drop my kids at school. She even eats more than my kids cos she can chop Wella. The mother came to see her last month and was just thanking me. If by God's grace I leave this country, I 'd definitely be taking her. Am truly blessed to have someone like her. God bless our helps
ReplyDeleteGod bless you for being such a kind soul.
DeleteI am a guy and my brought a house help back then,I was 7 yrs old then and the house help was more matured and older about 16yrs old
ReplyDeleteShe used to molest me any time she had the opportunity or maybe nobody at home..and it happened for yrs b4 she was caught with a guy in our yard and was sent home..it really affected my life negatively and into masturbation at a very young age but I thank God today I am free and delivered
My Mum had one that started living with her at 12. My Mum is a widow. The girl was like a daughter to her and was even the one that knows where Mum keeps her stuff. My Mum is a retired school Principal so education is compulsory. The girl refused to write SSCE so my mum made a point of taking her to school throughout the exam period. Sadly my Sister died in Nov 2016. Jan 2017 my Mum woke up and realized the girl ran away with mum's jewelry, other items. Recently she has been writing and pleading for forgiveness. According to her our neighbor linked her to one man and she was feeding the man from Mum's kitchen. The man advised her to steal so that they both run away to Lagos and get married. As soon as he received the loot, he abandoned her to her fate. The annoying thing is that my Mum is even considering allowing the girl to come back 'home' as she put it. Mschew.
ReplyDelete'My mum' can be replaced with 'she'.
DeleteI had to get a help when my second pregnancy was advancing. It took a lot of cajoling for DH and MIL to accept the idea because MIL lives with us and helps out with my daughter. But the chores became too much for me. I got one and I treat her well. Any day she grows wings, I ll let her go. Shikena!
ReplyDeleteWhy do people bring kids from the village tho. See, anyone that isn't 17 and above cant work for me. And I can't bring from my village or hubby's village either. They have to come thru agents. So that when you start annoying me, you will just go as I don't have strength. I treat my helps well by God's grace. I think I laugh too much and even gist with them. When they take advantage of it, I just let them go. I use to be overly nice like paying their salary and not letting them spend from it. Buying their creams, soap, tooth brush,deodorant, paste, pad, powder, bra, pants, make their hair and anything they need with my money but I want to stop that. This one I have with me now, she's the first person I'm not buying all those things for. I'm trying so hard not to buy it as I want to but this people once you do it, start seeing it as an entitlement and not that you are doing it out of your goodwill
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of you @Blackberry, @Newdawn, @Platters food n @fU that replied to my comment.Sometimes one can help but wonders how our teens are already sexually active. The other was interviewed by the doctor, and she said she has four boyfriends and she sleeps with all of them. These girls are from the south-south.
ReplyDeleteHouse helps should be treated well, it really baffles me when I see some unkempt looking helps while their bosses and kids look glamorous. How can you, the boss allow your maid to be dirty and you still allow them to cook your food, take care of your kids, etc? You must be a joker!
ReplyDeleteMy friend had a maid that she really took care of, she was more like family to them. I spent a week with them and I was really happy with the way she relates with her maid.
The only found strange about this maid was the fact that she finished all her tasks too quickly. I asked the maid how come she was this fast? And she just smiled at me. I was still curious though. I told my friend about it and she also said that she has noticed that too. So, we went out for 30 mins and before we came back, this wonderful girl had finished doing everything! We were shocked! We quizzed her thoroughly and she made a shocking confession. She said each time she's given a task, she invites her 'friends' to come help her. We asked her if this 'her friends' were evil and she said no. She said they don't harm people especially when the people are nice to her. I further asked her if my friend wasn't nice to her, would she have harmed her and her family? She said yes that she and her 'friends' would have harmed her family. I asked her if she wanted to be delivered and she agreed. We took her to the church for deliverance.
In the end, she continued to live with them and 'her friends' no longer came to help her. As I write this, she's in a private university and will be graduating soon.
Oh where can I buy that novel 'the maids are not to blame'? I read it many years ago and crave for it now reading this post. Some madams are wicked o Chei. But one maid served it back hot by allowing her boss's child to eat her poop. Very wicked thing to do.
ReplyDeleteHousehelps are a no no for me.
I have been married for 7 years and I have had only 2 helps .y
ReplyDeleteThe first stayed 5 years and cared for my babies very well.
She was a live in , going home weekends at times .
I treated her so well and she still comes around to see my kids and even sleeps over .
When I am traveling she comes around .
Her current job I got for her and also paid accommodation.
I gave her salary raises from time to time .
I work in a bank so her happiness was important to me since it is in direct relation to how she will treat my kids in my absence.
The second one has been with me all most 2 years .
I registered her for jamb etc .
I send money to her parents and make sure she dresses well .
I am a power dresser and I can’t allow shabbiness of any sort around me .
The thing I do from time to time is seat this young ladies down and advise them.
I tell them that their hard work shall be rewarded and I will be a senior sis to them.
It doesn’t mean I don’t scold , after all my own elder sisters scold me till now.
I learnt the art of kindness and giving from my mum.
It hasn’t failed me.
Be kind to these girls, treat them well and advise them.
Also pray .
Thank u
You’re amazing!
DeleteBeta pikin.
DeleteNice one.
I once had one,if na thief she get grade,enters my room to take money,the straw that broke that the camels back was wen she went to see her boy friend and came back around 8pm and apologies.just had to let her go.she was in ss1
ReplyDelete