Do you believe in the Biological clock ticking tales that warrants a woman gets to a certain age and if unmarried has to quickly do so or get pregnant?
So many Ladies are under pressure to Marry because of this and because of the Nigerian Society that places a lot of importance on being married....Oh,it doesn't matter if you divorce the next day,just marry!
Are you Under pressure to quickly marry or birth a child before your Biological clock stops ticking?
Or did you succumb to pressure and married?Or became a baby mama?
Shouldn't a woman be allowed to decide if she wants and when she wants?
Some of you reading this right now are even the ones putting your friends and siblings under pressure to marry and/or have kids before ''it is too late''.
This is the same reason that women who are married are TTC panic and run helter skelter looking for ways to quickly take in cos they are scared their clocks will soon stop ticking...
I read that from 35 years every woman ovulation begins to diminish,I don't think this applies to everyone cos i am in my forties and na Ovulation dey chase us...(you too?) LOL
Lets talk....
I want to read and learn
ReplyDeleteThank God I don't let people's opinions get to me concerning any biological clock. I do what my mind tells me. I can't settle for less just cos my clock is ticking. God is still on the throne. And yes, na ovulation be my second name sef. I'm even ovulating right now. No shaking.
ReplyDeleteI am 48 years old, I already have a 26 years old daughter. I still want to have another child(please don't judge me). As I type I just finished my period, I still ovulate and hopefully by next year( God willingly) I would be pregnant. Women my age shouldn't be discouraged, every woman havery their own time to conceive. Even ladies in their 20's are going through difficulty getting pregnant. Just keep hope alive!
DeleteAnony 16:03 that's a good summary.
DeleteThumbs up.
If push comes to shove, go for IVF and collect twins after 3 months you check into a hospital facility till you birth. I know someone who's 49 waiting to pop her twins.
All man with im own body.
God is for us all.
Thank you XP for the encouragement❤, God bless you! I hope I squeeze out twins too😊😊😊
DeleteIf we women learn to be less selfish and more godly, we would realize that this life isn't that rugged like is presented in the Nigerian space. Serve God with your soul, do not defile yourself, don't kill babies. If love comes fall in. If not, do not imprison yourself to please others. Develop yourself and be self sustaining. Do not wait for man to do stuff for you. When you meet the right man, you will marry and if the so called biological clock had set in, adopt; yes, adopt. A lot of kids do not have home. If you give a kid a home with care, he/she will call you mother. You will live a happy and fulfilled life.
ReplyDeleteIf you decide to go your own way and becomes a baby mama or divorced, the Nigerian "judges' you are trying to please will enter you into a blacklist worse than being single. Think about it.
Did I just write this? Thank you anon, I'm not the only one thinking this way. If it happens,good if it didn't good. There are so many children that need love. God is faithful and merciful, I beg peace of mind and happiness makes this world we came and live in worthwhile.hmmm
DeleteLegal adoption in Nigeria is the hardest thing after true love.
Delete@Blackberry
DeleteYou don try am before? Yan us na.
I have an uncle that has all boys and did legal adoption for a baby girl in the East through an orphanage 10yrs ago and it was quite straight forward from what I was told. They adopted her at 3 months old.
Delete110℅ true at BB
DeleteA lot of Naija girls are not married at 40 because them dey wait to catch "abroad fish". No be so?
ReplyDeleteNa so we see am ooo.
DeleteErm uncle some of us are abroad already, so we dont need your fish. There some men who are also looking for a meal ticket targeting girls from rich families. It cuts both ways
Delete@16:39
DeleteNiger republic na abroad o.
And how you get there; no be snatch and vamoose?
And I no be "uncle"
You this anon keep quiet abeg. Abroad ain't heaven. Many of us have lived there and come back at our own accord. Not only a man can take you abroad plssssss.
DeleteMany women are there for schooling and working and no man took there. Only if you know many abroad men are even scammers. You have to fish out the hard working ones. They too are looking out of rich women.
Marry when you meet the right person.
ReplyDeleteMarry not for children.
Don't marry because your friends are getting married.
Don't marry because your village people dey disturb your mama say she don chop people party jollof tire and she no wan invite them.
People above 40 still get pregnant. A lady in my church who married at 42 is pregnant now.
God does everything at His time. Look unto Him alone
👏 👏 👏 👏
Delete👏 👏 👏 👏
DeleteWisdom! God bless you.
DeleteWord!!!!!
DeleteGod bless you 👏👏
I don't believe any ladies in their 30s should start panicking over biological clock. My elder sister got married at 38 took in that year and had her first child 39. Now she is 42 and pregnant with the 3rd and last child.
ReplyDeleteShe is still ovulating in her 40s and she didn't need to do IVF.
I am 31 and still waiting for my husband and not under any pressure to be a baby mama.
Biological clock hmmmmm! Am in my late 30, it's scary but that wouldn't make me succumb to pressure. 7 girls, am the only one left. If I can survive being told to my face that with my age, am bound to birth an imbecile,and he as a med doc wouldn't want such, I believe I can survive whatever option life leaves me with.
ReplyDeleteKpele you had to hear such. E go better
DeleteIn your late 30s and they tell you you're bound to birth imbeciles.
DeleteBiko leave that environment. In 2018? Illiteracy na disease.
Lemme read comments
ReplyDeleteI'm 25 and desperate to marry.
ReplyDeletePlease don't be desperate
DeleteWow!
DeleteDon't be desperate please. You are still young. I'm in my thirties and have refused to act desperate. So, relax and have faith in God to do it for you.
DeleteOne chance vehicle on the way I hope you don't board it.
DeleteCurrently what I am feeling now. My birthday is this month,and I have never been so sad, clueless and weak. 35 jeez how did the years fly? I don't want to celebrate this birthday at all. Have always been indifferent about marriage but the pressure and fear I am feeling now is alarming.
ReplyDeleteI stay with my parents and they have never mentioned anything though I see it in their eyes. I am not one to go seeking pastors, I pray on my own and worship God my way.
What is wrong God? Please come through for me.
These days I cry more than I pray.
So many people come to me for solutions and encouragement cos they beleive I am that super girl that can handle all things but I am as miserable as misery.
I am tired.
Anon we are in same shoes, same age just that I have moved out of the house and have my own apartment. Doing very well in career,money,apartment except a man to call my own.
DeleteI can see my mother especially is very sad about the situation but she doesn't complain she just prays and encourages me but I can see the sadness in her. We are 2 but my brother is 30 he still has time atleast. My dad is not so bothered. All my friends are married.
I am in a relationship though and the guy is talking marriage. But my fears bvs is I feel he is lazy. His business is not doing well and I believe he should go do a 9-5. I have been carrying everything in the relationship for the past year.
BVS Should I dump this guy or be patient with him and keep supporting. He keeps making promises. He had a good job before but the contract ended and wasn't renewed.
I am 35, should I stick with this man and just manage with him. I am so confused. We were planning marriage for next year. Do I give him till next year to see whether he will straighten out?
awwww. Hang in there sis. God is never late.
DeleteThank you for saying it as it Is, I'm 35 to and these days I cry a lot. How did I get here? People see me and think I'm so strong but if only my pillows could talk. It's hard, very hard, especially if you've been a good girl most of your life.
DeleteWhen I hear all these young girls saying if it happens it happens I just smh and say if only they know what they are talking about. Up till 32 years; I had that conviction that if it happens it happens but mehn as the years go by, reality sets in. My advice to young ones. Make hay why the sun shines. It's difficult being old and not have a companion. It's so lonely and a lot of stress. Don't let people fool You, you don't know what happens behind close doors.
While**
DeletePlease young ladies DO NOT be rushed o! Yes you may be lonely but it is worse being lonely in a bad marriage. I know what I am talking about. When my ex husband left, I did thanksgiving in church. It was the best present I ever had from him. The abuse was so bad I envied my friend who was jilted at the altar. Please look well before you marry. Don't let age or society pressure you.
DeleteMy dear you need to be sure about this, it is either he is lazy or he isn't lazy. Be sure! So if you come to the conclusion that he is, are going to be happy feed him and you future kids? Will you derive joy from being the breadwinner of your future home then you can keep that man. Else flee while your life is less complicated.
DeleteAll the major negative signs you see today (appearing minor) will become x7 stronger/visible when you enter marriage with your partner. And remember he will still want to lord over you and cry foul that you don't respect him. Please be ready to take responsibility for your actions.
As for me 15:22, I feel it is more difficult if you are old and have no money. Don't get me wrong but if you are old and have to live from hand to mouth or only from handouts, it's more difficult as a single person. It all depends on ones mental strength. Not everyone soaks their pillows at night due to loneliness. I know single people living their best lives. My prayer is for God not to give us what we can't handle.
DeleteWell I am 52 and still ovulating. I am not married and I do not have children and have been celibate for 20 years. If i had given in to pressure, I would have possibly married the following men - a wife beater, a bigamist, a 419, a mama's boy and someone whose father sleeps with all the females in the family (it is a generational curse thing). When I look at some friends I am thankful for my singleness. My friends that married 'on time' and have children and happy homes are not many but they do exist. God is the clock maker. He will do it if he wishes. If not so be it.
ReplyDeleteWow ma'am I dobala for you, 20 years? You are a strong woman. I pray God grants you and those genuinely in need of a better half and children all their heart desires.
DeleteAunty see you see menopause o. Have a child if you dont want to get married.
DeleteWow,
DeleteThank God for giving you the grace
It isn't easy
Anon 15:09, you think it's every one that wants to have a child out of wedlock? The fact she's been celibate for 20 years says alot about her. Shes 52 and still ovulating. You aren't God.
DeleteSarah was way past menopause too and God still did it for her. I serve God whether or not I have a child. I am supportive of all single mothers but I will not deliberately make myself one. For me you either believe the word of God or you don't. He is still God whether or not I marry.
DeleteI love your spirit. God will bless you and grant you all that your heart desires.
DeleteWowwww nice one
DeleteWow. I love u already ma.
DeleteSo glad marriage or children are not the criteria for making heaven.
We love to be/have, but let God's perfect will be sought always.
Respect!
Anon 14.32 I admire your strength. But why not have a child adopt one.
DeleteI want to use my fathers aunty as example,she is my grandma's younger sister and they were very close.
She is my dad's favourite aunty because she lived with them while growing up.
Aunty B never married and never had kids. She was a trader but I don't think she ever built a house. My father took care of her sends money. But when she became old she had to be switching from our house to another relatives house to another relative. My parents are mostly in U.S. so she can't live with us permanently. It kept seeming each niece /nephew was pushing her from one house to another. My dad saw her after a long trip and felt sad. She was not properly cared for. She is in her 80s but she looked extremely frail. Where she had been staying the care wasn't good. We had to take her to our house.
I believe if she had a child she will have been more settled in her child's house. Each of this nephew/niece have their own families and their own parents there is limit to what they can do.
When she died my father took charge of the burial and expenses. The burial was nice but you will know something is missing. Her own kids.
Obituary didn't really read much. No survived by husband,children and grandchildren.
I don't even feel having a husband is necessary,but a child is the koko.
May God bless you ma'am and as you have been faithful to him may he see your love and dedication and grant you the joy of your heart. You may be human and weak whatever but Jesus Christ that loves you deeply will satisfy you deeply. Hold on there. I love you but God loves you most. Stay blessed. *The latter years of Job was better than his beginning.
Delete@16:00 I support. I mean.... marriage is not the ultimate. But as a man/woman.... PLEASE have children. Use a surrogate, go to sperm bank, adopt, sha have kids. It will benefit you in old age. Under normal circumstances, No nephew, niece or relative can love you like your own child. Children motivate you to do better in life. The lady in question would most likely have found a way to build a house, if she had her children to think of. Children make you even more responsible, and intentional about certain things. Please, make una try get even na ONE pikin. And do your best to raise them very well. Its well.
DeleteThis is a tough lady. May God bless you in ways you never expect.
DeleteBeing celibate for 20 years ain't beans.
Wow! This is so exciting. I'm thrilled there's someone out there who understands this life. Pls,live your life to the fullest. What matters most is your peace. Cheers!
DeleteChikito you're so spot on, happily single seems fun until you clock menopause and age and there's no one to care for you in old age, marriage may not be the ultimate but if you can have a child or adopt, there are many motherless babies, pls do. except you are just not maternal. Until we lost a certain aunt recently, a retired Director, with landed properties but when she fell Ill, there was no one, she died alone. Another aunt of mine has dementia, noone is ready to take her in cos people have their problems, they send money n all, but she's abondoned In the village, cared for by strangers.
DeleteThank God what people say do not get to me. You can say or do whatever you like to me and i will not be bothered as long as what you say or do does not affect my progress in LIFE.
ReplyDeleteLadies above 30, do not let Society or any one pressure you into marrying the wrong person.
May God come through to every Lady out there believing him for a life partner
ReplyDeleteIt isn't easy finding the right one but with God nothing is impossible. He made everything beautiful in his time. With God there's nothing like ticking biological clock ooh. He doesn't even need your womb to bless you with a baby. Ask Sarah. All need is our infallible faith.
He's indeed a faithful God.
Consoling talks I hear ...
ReplyDeleteYou dey mind them. If you get to a particular age go and get a baby. I am 35 and have a child. She means the world to me. She gives me life. When I am ill only her cares for me like I want. The love she gives me is too deep. I wonder how I would have been so sad without her. If I have my way will add more. Husband or not. Old age all your siblings children will abandon you. I saw how all my cousins were coming around my father and he helped them. As them blow they face their own biological father.Have your child.
DeleteAunty anon not everybody wants to be a babymama even at 35.
DeleteYou want to tell me many baby mamas didn't want to marry their baby's father. Is it not because it didn't work out? Did you wish to be a babymama was it not circumstances.
Leave women who are in their 30s and wish to do the proper thing.
I got married at 37, had my baby at 38. I have a good husband and a happy home and Im glad I waited and not take advice of being a babymama if you turn 35.
Now there are women who don't want marriage and decide to go this route. All well and good it is their choice and works for them. But don't discourage others just because you went baby mama route.
Being a single mother isn't easy. Even if you have the finances,how about the support emotionally and sometimes presence of a male role model especially for the boy child is crucial.
Madam you married at 37.Welldone,for doing the right.Not everyone has the patience.So many ladies get old because they are waiting. What if it does not happen.What makes you think some ladies don't know quite early they may not get married. Please,shift.you think life is black and white.
DeleteThe only advantage to marrying early is to see your children grow and train them Coz to train pikin for old age Is not easy
ReplyDeleteI had my son at 27 and I am still single at 31. I have 2 guys i am considering one was 33 in sep and the other will be 34 on monday. Been celibate for 5 years but i will have sex next month with the guy i pick among the 2.
ReplyDelete2nd baby mama journey to begin next month!
DeleteDo not shoot off
Do not flush out
Do not suffocate
You had your son at 27, you are 31, been celibate for 5 years. Okay
DeleteMaybe her birthday is at the end of the year.
DeleteYes chikito i got pregnant at 26 had him 27 and no sex since i got pregnant for my son. It will be 5 years of celibacy next month. Okay
DeleteOh okay 👍
DeleteI am 50 . I just saw my period. Am I scaerd ......yes. am I panicked no . Let God do this will. I am not an a relationship. I have not opened my leg to anybody for years. I am happy but would love to be in a relationship. Be grateful for where you are. You never know. Do I have friends that are grand ma? Yes. An i happy happy for them yes. See life is nit a competition. All will be well
ReplyDeleteSo I tried to give into the marriage pressure. I introduced my ex to my parents, fortunately they saw him for who he really was. He was cheating & I walked away. Since then, the pressure has reduced. No more marriage talks. Left to me, I'd rather not get married but then, I trust God.
ReplyDeleteI am here ooo
DeleteThis thing is not funny.I am only 30 trying for a second baby and my gynecologist said I have high FSH levels that looks like that of a 40 year old woman.I am so devastated she too was saying is quite strange if I smoke or I am exposed to radiation.I don't ovulate like before and getting pregnant is becoming so hard.Please women try and check your FSh levels and preserve your eggs if need be.I am only 30 I know it is quite strange but that is what I am facing.Any one with such please reply my comment she told me to birth all my kids in quick succession and try IVF if it takes me time to conceive.I have a child already but I feel very down why me
ReplyDeleteI can't forget the day I went to check my AMH. I didn't sleep the night to when I was to go for my result. Thank God everything was good.
DeletePoster it is well with you. God will do what man can't do for you
You may not stop ovulating but the viability of the ova reduces drastically. The chances of giving birth to child(ren) with congenital abnormalities increases. It's not a reason to feel pressured. Take life as it comes provided your over selectiveness and ready made husband detector antenna isn't what's keeping you.
ReplyDeleteI dey on top this table oh... God help us
ReplyDeleteGod is the one who designs and plans our life. Even before we were born He knew us and carved this path for us. I married at 18. It's not been an easy road and with 7 children I remain grateful to God. I think everyone has his own path to follow. I am mostly thankful for the wonderful children I have and the grace God has given me to withstand the trials and tribulations of life and marriage. Some of my friends never married. Some are single mothers. One friend always says to me her biggest sadness is not having her own children. The advantage of having kids young is you get to grow with them. However I think I made a better mother to those I had in my late 30s and early 40s. And yes, they are normal and beautiful. Who can ever decipher the reasons for why God choses to bless one person with children and a happy family? I remain grateful to God and thankful for my blessings.
ReplyDeleteAmen 🙏🏼
Deletehmmmm this topic get as e be but nah true . If u are 35plus n u never marry he better make person get belle before he to late.
ReplyDeleteperson must do everything fast in life. As for me now as I never marry dey excepting wetin make I do? ?? even if I no see marriage enter tomorrow, nothing do me because I get pikin.
I no say child outside wedlock good o but wen u see say marriage no com at 35 abeg belle nah him be d next thing before person go marry at 39 dey ttc forever.
May God give people wey dey look for hubby better one n give d fruit of d womb to dos ttc
You are just a foolish fooooool
DeleteHmmmm am 32 and i have a guy coming for me and he is 29.i don't know what to tell him about my age
ReplyDeleteYou guys should stop this age thing, and please don't lie to him. Age is but a number, maturity varies irrespective of age. If you feel he is matured mentally enough and can handle responsibilities, then don't flinch, tell him, if he truly loves you, believe he'll stay.
DeleteWhat’s wrong with the age difference??? I met my hubby at age 27, I’m 3 yrs older. We got married 2yrs after. We connected emotionally spiritually and sexually. Don’t let age difference stop you from marrying a good man. Get to know him more, have that emotionally/physically connection well before discussing your age if you’re worried. But the age difference is nothing abeg.I believe 5yrs older and 5yrs younger shd be the limit. More than 5yrs, he go Dey behave like he’s your papa. And too young will be too immature. But then again it all depends on preference.
DeleteTell him your true age pls. Don't start a marriage on lies. It always backfires. If he loves you and is mature, he'll stay. Otherwise, let him go. You don't want to deal with his insecurities. Just be sure not to disrespect him..
DeleteI was 32 when I married my 29yr old be. We've been married for 2yrs and we are good. I lied to him about my age but he found out when he saw my international passport.
DeleteI am 29yrs old, no job and heartbreak is my second name. I have been heart broken and disappointed by men back to back. 2yrs ago I was to get married to a man I realise was after my father's money at that time, he wanted me to get money from my dad which he would use to perform the marriage rights which I was strongly against and he disappeared when the money wasn't forth coming to teach me a lesson/embarrass me considering we had an elaborate and well publicized introduction. I could have easily gotten the money from my dad because I am his favourite and he trusts me with his finances but I knew it was wrong and this is not how I want to get married so, I let him go and faced the humiliation and I got to discover other horrible things about him I didn't know. My dad was supportive and has been very supportive of my decision not to go ahead with the marriage but the person giving me hell and making life unbearable for me now is my own mother, she is literally making my life a living hell. Insults everyday just because of the shame of my wedding not holding. The men I even met after him were far worse, I am just tired and I feel like I am just going to remain single for life and then move out of my mums house ( my parents are separated) . I am depressed and I can't take it anymore, I also just discovered I have hormonal issues, high prolactin and progesterone levels and I don't ovulate( receiving treatment now)
ReplyDeleteEayah it is well with you
DeleteMy dear you are only 29. I would suggest you move out of your mum's house for your own peace of mind. Our mothers sometimes don't know how to handle what society might consider shameful.I will advise you to start thanking God and rejoicing for all your lucky escapes. These men will go on to marry some unfortunate women out there causing them serious stress and HBP. Become more prayerful and draw closer to God. In a short time, you will meet the one ordained for you.
DeleteMy dear if you are financially able to get your own place pls do. Don't let your mum or anyone push you into depression or rush you to make a hasty wrong choice into marriage.
DeleteYou still have time you havnt even hit 30. Mothers can be like that. But your happiness is paramount.
I cry out my eyes daily especially @ night. But who am I to ask God questions. Honestly I ask how I got to this age 36. God knows best and only him knows tomorrow. I'm happy for all my friends and colleagues, I carry their babies at same time praying for my future hubby and kids.
ReplyDeleteI will be 38 next month. Thought I found the one but 2 weeks ago I got a shocker. I am so lonely these days. I really want to get married. I am not under pressure, but the loneliness is eating deep. I have a child though at 17. 20yrs old. A child cannot take the place of a man.. these days I don't cry myself to sleep anymore, I just want to be settled...to fill this void
ReplyDeleteWhat makes you think a man will fill the void?Or you think married women are not lonely? Please, get yourself a life.You have a child.What if you don't have? What will you do?Kill yourself?
DeleteI'm 36, single and comfortable. Not in any relationship. People say I have this fearless carriage and strict look and they always assume that I am married,or in a very high profile relationship that I don't want to talk about. I cannot be talked down or made to feel bad by married women because of my person but recently a senior colleague was talking to me about meeting the kind of man that will be confident enough to be married to me is near impossible and then I wonder if being intelligent and succceful is the problem or ......
ReplyDeleteI need kids,I really do! this brains and beauty cannot waste like that. Who will take over my investments? God let your will be done. If it's not destined to be Lord, remove the desire. If it is, make a way.
I am 34...genotype has finished my life....I am AS,girls I have been meeting since 28 hv been AS... Don't really know what to do...
ReplyDeleteI am really lonely... I got scared when I think about not having children by now.. My parents are worried too.God knows best.
Hey poster, my younger sister is 24 AA, how do we hook up?
DeleteThanks.. How do we go about it, really don't know..
DeleteI hope ur sister being AA is not by "I was told by my mum or dad or we are all AA in our family ".Hope she has confirmed through a test.
I hope she is not a student.I am tired of student relationships,the wahala and drama is too much and unbearable, they tend not to know Wat they want.
If your sister is willing and ready to settle down, I will appreciate that.
I am based in Lagos
So sorry I'm replying late, it has been confirmed and no she's not a student, she's a graduate and done with nysc, she's based in abuja with my parents atm. How do I contact you? Cheers
DeleteHhhmm,i actually don't know how ds is done. Will send my details to Stella via her email, you can also do same.
DeleteBut how will you relate this to your sister.. "I found someone for you online",sounds funny.. Lol.. Well, I actually belong to d Oldies. ..
Aiit, that would work
DeleteAhn tha see connection!
DeleteBiological clock is nothing until a lady clocks 30. The truth will start sipping out and her cheerleaders will disappear. Before she knows it, she will be invited to the graduation ceremony of the son of her friend they gossiped that she was a loser for marrying at 21. The sad faces of single ladies 30+ I see in the church says it all. It is painful to watch.
ReplyDeleteI am a man. 32 years old and I succumb to the feminists ideology. I have a fiancee 35 and I told her if she wants marriage, she must come and do my traditional marriage and white wedding. I can't kill myself bc I am a man.
ReplyDeleteLol...
DeleteYou are a clown!
Stella as many other women, the clock varies, some women ovulate in their 40s n 50s, other's are menopausal.on the flip side ive seen young women in their 20s with primary ovarian failure, infertility from pcos etc... i myself had subfertility from fibroids n I'm in my 20s. The truth is that a woman is most fertile btw I8 and 25 years of age, from then on there's a gradual decline, by 35 there's a dip and by 40 another major dip, by 42 years there is majorly no viable eggs. Except in some cases.
ReplyDeleteHmm. May God help us. When you are approaching 30 or when you are 30 , that's the most trying time.
ReplyDelete