STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DICEY SITUATION
Hi Stella. I am an ardent reader and contribute once in a while. Something happened in my house last weekend that I can't wrap my head around.
I am married with two kids and I always have househelps around due to the nature of my job. Househelps come and go in their usual fashion and the run around continues.
I brought a girl from the village who came in and showed us that she's a good girl. My husband and I cared for her and went the extra mile to make her comfortable.
I entered her room and saw her bags packed and I asked her why. She said she dreamt that her mom and grandmother were poisoned so she has to go and 'save them.
I called the lady that brought her and her mom who concluded that she didn't have a reason to leave. I called her and talked to her like a mother.
Two days later she can and said that she wants to go and when I asked her, she said my husband tried to grab her waist.
I was devastated... She said where she lived before coming to my house it also happened to her. She's 14yrs old and shes in school she told me that the help that left (I sent her packing) told her my husband also molested her (she lived with me for 3 years and I sent her home because she was always looking for men and even neighbour's complained). I left the house drove to my husband and asked him. I told him that it was the girl I sent home that said it.
He was shocked and said he would never touch her and was swearing. He now said infact I should go and ask the girl in the house that she's truthful and if he has touched her she will say so.
That was when I started suspecting and became confused. I know my husband and I can say he doesn't like dark skinned girls plus he's not a paedophile. He's not a saint but these I know.
This girl was so bold and looking him in the face and sabi he tried to grab her waist.
I called her mom who said she has never heard of the girl being molested.
I can't say everything here but from what I have said I want to know if I am right to disbelieve her and just see she wanted to go home I have lived with even my relations who left and they never mentioned my husband molesting or trying to talk to them.
This girl has access to a phone and could have told her mom immediately it happened but she waited a week after a dream excuse. I know the first instinct is to say the man did and all but could this help be lying? My husband is enlightened and understand the repercussions. This has never come up before and I have had mature and beautiful girls as helps before. He is still emotionally down and can't believe she accused him of such....
I sent her home immediately but I just need closure
What is the opinion of the house?
*Hmmmm really strange!....Why would the little girl lie?what if your hubby is an actor?Hmmmm.To find out the truth,bring in another little girl and watch your husband closely.....before then fill up his head with how much you trust him and make sure to monitor the scenario and tell the little to alert you if anyone touches her...Living with someone who touches under aged Children is really dangerous!
Hmmmm....two her wouldn't lie
ReplyDelete"Helps" i meant to type
DeleteNo be only enlightened na endarkened even abroad that they know the repercussions of such actions some men still do it, a lot of men try to make out with their helps and wife's relative, no be today, some will be doing abortion for help under your roof, you won't know. Aunty, your husband might be a smooth operator, the fact that nobody told you he tried it with them before does not mean he hasnt, na one day dem dey catch thief na, you said it yourself that this girl is a good girl, and you and your husband take good care of her, Can she boldly lie to your face and accuse you of not taking care of her? For her to say it boldly to your hubby's face that he did it means he most probably did it, ask your self, if she accuse am wrongly, wetin she gain?
DeleteYou better buy Christmas dress for that girl for exposing what your sweet and educated hubby is capable of doing. Thank God for that girl aswear.
DeleteThat was how one of my in law's house helps left one day, I asked the other church-church night vigil sister and she told me that big daddy nearly raped the lady and she packed her things and left. I wanted to tell the kids what their dad did but I sealed my lips till today. What made me believed was how another house help brought from the village suddenly changed over night and was even collecting money to make her hair from the man. A titled man that the whole community look up to, he can advice for Africa.
Madam poster forget your husband moody face/emotion, he's been emotion because he doesn't know whether you can trust him again.
If a pastor or an imam that has a functioning dick can rape/sleep with their maids, how much more your educated hubby that knows how to code his runs. Shine your eyes.
This is how my friend was swearing when her help told her about her hubby trying to molest her, I told her to look deep or contact old helps but she was swearing until the whole thing came out. Now they are no longer together.
DeleteI will tell you not to trust anyone that isn’t you, the so called saint you think you have may not be. Aunty install a camera simple, catch the guilty person. If it’s the girl you will see it, don’t confront him again or contact your former help, beg her to tell you the truth
Poster, please don't give room for the devil in your home. Its obvious the girl just wants to leave.
DeleteI don't know your husband but I know how I'd feel if I was accused wrongly.
Most girls in her shows won't tell their madam because the madam will be angry and turn the tables on them. Those your relatives who left are in a better position to answer you. I think your husband is guilty. Which man will admit that? Men don't care about conplexion. They can sleep with anything
DeleteMadam your husband did it. It's a hard pill to swallow. Plant cameras in the house and get another house maid and ye shall know the truth!
ReplyDeleteShutup!! Where you there. The girl was just looking for an excuse to go. Madam Poster, let this one slide, you don't have any strong proof.
DeletePoster, you've done the needful by sending her back. That's ok for now.
DeleteThere is a difference between "he grabbed my waist" and "he tried to grab my waist"
When confronted with an allegation or acusation, the body reflex of the acused will always give u a clue as to if he did it or not before the swearing and defences. Only you truly know if he did it or not but the allegation lacks evidence.
The previous girl though..... That's a big issue but she's gone also. Let it all slide. Your hubby will be more careful. Get an elderly woman to run your chores weekends or early morning if you can get one.
#hadeyhalaba
Madam poster please that girl is speaking the truth. My househelps called my enlightened hubby daddy. When i say enlightened i mean every word of it but the enlightened daddy was always assaulting them sexually and when u say no he starts tormenting u. I BELEIEVE YOUR HOUSEHELP
DeleteHmmm, it’s not by enlightened or not. If your maids leave without tangible reasons, you should look deeply into the matter.
DeleteYour husband is a cheat,molester,liar,accuser, adulterer,paedophile and a damn good actor. Be defending.don't you know that the heart of man is desperately wicked. Who can know it? Take action. Install cameras and use older women. The deed has already been done
DeleteMadam don't be too quick to believe your husband just because he is your man. The little girl couldn't have lied. You better watch your husband closely.
ReplyDeleteMen, they will deny even if u catch them red handed
DeleteBetter believe that girl, I can tell u she's not lying, what will she gain or lose by lying? but then there's nothing u can do. As u rightly said, ur husband is not a saint, a penis has no mind o, some of these girls just make up excuses n go so as not to hurt the madam emotionally, but if u press them for info, they will blurt out d real reason they wanna go n u won't like it, truth is bitter.
ReplyDeleteExactly, the girl wanted to leave quietly and u no gree her, now she told u the real reason...u don't wana take it. Mtschewwww
DeleteA girl if that age wouldnt have the mind to accuse your husband of such.
DeletePoster how old are you again? You can't vogue for a man o. Be it your husband or not. Men are scums. Yes. He is a pedofile. He tried to grab her waist and threatened her. He may heve don't it to your other maids which made them left. Ask your other maids. Don't feel too comfortable because he doesn't like light skinned girls. He is a scum. Full stop
ReplyDeleteD man lied Jor, he loves light skinned girls, some will say they don't like makeup but they chase a girl with face beat up to perfection, leave these men o.
Deleteanon this your comment has put pepper in my eyes.....calm down and type it is not your husband😂😂😂
DeleteMadam I believe that girl 100%. You think it's for your relatives or house help to tell you that? This one took a bold step and you are here asking us questions.
ReplyDeleteDont mind her. Instead of her to watch her husband closely she is there saying her husband doesn't like light skinned girls, bla bla bla... Poster even if your husband is guilty, he still won't admit it. Were you expecting him to say yes when you confronted him? If you were in his shoes, won't you deny the allegations too? You better do thorough investigation on this matter to avoid stories that touches the waist
DeleteI believe the the girl too. Your hubby is just acting,poster you better put your eyes down very well. A girl of 14 can not make up such.
DeleteYou’ve already concluded that it’s not true but ask yourself and tell yourself the truth. Is it highly impossible or unlikely for a man to go for women who aren’t exactly his “spec” and also if it were true do you think he’d say yes?
ReplyDeleteSince the girl in question has left, then let her go but know that there is no smoke without fire. People have sworn and lied in the past about rape but you can’t just throw out the accusation completely. Abusers are regular people at least they look sane but their mind is messed up. You should take note to watch him and how he acts around any other help you get next. You can’t truly know someone and peodophiles are smooth operators. Stop taking underaged girls too and think of why a 14 year old child would lie about sexual molestation just to go home if she is well taken care of by your family. Think about it, what does she stand to gain?
Always defending the husband until it would blow up on their faces.
ReplyDeleteYour husband doesn't like light skinned girls? Really? Kwakwakwakwakwa. His side chick is light skinned. Don't be deceived madam. He is just deceiving you. Your husband is a drama king. Igwe
ReplyDeleteI know you want to believe your hubby as expected but please be watchful. You can't joke with issues like this.
ReplyDeleteMadam, install secret cameras in every area of your home.
ReplyDeleteYes! Because he might be more careful next time and you won't know nada.
Do not trust any man! I believe your husband didn't know the girl was going to tell you. Forget about being enlightened or civilised, men sometimes are controlled by their third leg.
ReplyDeleteWatch him closely and try as much as possible not to leave him alone with the girl. Shameless dogs everywhere.
Mama Baby.
Husband you guys marry sha
ReplyDeleteMadam pls put a camera in your home without the knowledge of anyone then watch the misery unfold by itself. Why would a girl of just 14 years be courageous enough to say such in front of your husband if he never did it. Please your husband might be guilty of it, just that you are too shamed to accept it. Please avoid maids for now if you can.
ReplyDeleteMadam, your husband is enlightened? Prick no go school oh!!
ReplyDeleteStella I disagree with your advice, please don't bring innocent kids again to your house (the little girl that left might be saying the truth) Tufiakwa for all this men that won't leave innocent girls alone, oloshos full town Nah, go grab them
Lol @ prick no go school. Poster the truth is a bitter pill to swallow. Stop making excuses for your husband, let the poor girl leave. She is not lying. You already know your husband is not faithful so all these talk of your husband not into dark ladies na wash!
DeleteLol@ prick no go school.lwkmd...
DeleteHmm so because others never reported him you think he is innocent? You're now blaming the girl for not telling you up straight....Don't you see this is the reason why others never reported it? They know madam di madam no go believe them na...
ReplyDeleteHmmm. .I don't know what to say here. Anyway I think you should get another girl, follow Stella's advice. Maybe set up a monitoring camera in your house if you can afford to.
ReplyDeleteI laugh in Swahili! Your husband doesn't like dark skinned girls??? When it comes to LOVE, men have a type but when it comes to sex, for most men, a vagina is a vagina is a vagina...there's not type o!
ReplyDeleteLight skinned, my bad.
DeleteWhy should your husband tell you to go and ask the "present girl" if he molests seeing that he hadn't succeeded in doing it at the time; Looks like he scripted a plausible alibi scenario? If this girl has never lied since she lived with you, that "heavy accusation" shouldn't likely be her first lie. No man will readily own up to such. And there is nothing you can do about it but to encourage your husband to imbibe discipline like fasting, staying away from alcohol etc.
ReplyDeleteMadam I have a feeling that girl that look your husband eye ball to eye and told him to his face that he tried to grab her waist is saying nothing but the truth. Play FBI on him by planting cameras everywhere before you bring in another maid..then relax and watch the drama unfold. I'm very sure you will be shocked beyond belief by what you will see. While still at it if you have female children pls protect them very well ooh. Stay woke for them...
ReplyDeleteWhat if he actually rapes the maid? Will a camera stop him?
DeleteMen like this man are like saints in the eyes of family. He will never touch his kids. But leave an under aged unsupervised and he will pounce like an eagle. Is Ochanya's uncle not an educated man. In fact, you remind me of that man's wife. Better play detective now to avoid future brouhaha.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI'm surprised everyone is already concluding that he did it. What if he didn't? WHAT IF?
ReplyDeleteAbeg he did it jorh.. There is No two ways about it. No need for what if
DeleteLol.. Did dey caught him? They didn't caught him
DeleteOk engRish you is deaded here
DeleteExactly, my point.
DeleteWhat if he didn’t ?
What if this girl just wants to leave
A lot of men fool around but that doesn’t mean it will be with the house help
All that light skin is neither here nor there.
Madam, give your husband benefit of the doubt.
Moving forward watch closely
But, don’t breakup your marriage because of “what if”.
Also you handled it wrong o
Warn your husband sternly. Period.
Which one is to call husband and maid to be trading accusations and looking him in the eye.
Truth is You already know the truth in your gut. Don’t deny it. You know. Be honest with yourself. You don’t need BVs.
Na wa o madam modella..did they caught him?they didn't caught him.Anon sic pls leave that food u are cooking and come o.this one pass me o.
DeleteAnon 17:19 and 18:22. Why are you guys surprised? You mean you haven't watched the video of "they didn't caught me"? You guys ain't enlightened then. Google "they didn't caught me" to see the full video clip. OK bye
DeleteHahaha. Did they caught me?.Did they caught me? They didn't caught me. Case dismissed. Lol
Deletethis is sad...
ReplyDeletewhere there's smoke,there's fire. two of them saying this, might not be a coincidence.
Enlightenment has never stopped a paedophile.. look at that lecturer and his son. smh one would think they'd know better.
if i were in your shoes, I'd likely install secret cameras.. 😒😒
goodluck!
No smoke without fire
ReplyDeletePlease don't trust too much,your husband is a drama king.
Put a secret camera and see how it goes,Just pretend and flow with him when new house help comes again and you will know who's been truthful..
Men can lie in this kind of situation..
Just becareful
I have the feelings the girl said the truth. Don't forget she said the former house help complained of same.
ReplyDeleteTwo of them cannot be lying nau.
Don't overtrust these men.
He may have threatened the girl should she tell you that's why she wants to go.
She is a kid. Can't form such. Even if you bring in another, same may happen unless you sit your horseband down to talk or threaghten him.
I can see how disturbed you are.
Please, dig deep into this matter. I know the feelings.
Good luck dear
Threaten?
DeleteYou are very stupid for suggesting that she threaten the husband. You are not married that's y you think with your anus and if you are, you treat your hubby like trash so you have the boldness to encourage another person to do same to her hubby.
....and why do i have a feeling that Anon 17:50 is a man?
DeleteHe did it.
ReplyDeleteMadam, a girl of fourteen years old looked at you husband eye ball to eye ball and told him you "grab my breast" speaks volumes.
ReplyDeleteAlot of teenagers go through alot as domestic staff but can't voice it out because of fear of their fate.
Do not sweep this issue under the carpet but unravel it to avoid future occurrences and consequences.
Your husband will be more careful now. He definitely didn't expect the girl to talk. He is acting 4 u. Moody ko
DeleteShe left, didn't she? What did she have to gain by lying. I actually salute her courage. Please don't use anybody's child for experiment o. Cos, what if he succeeds? Point is, your husband is a molester. You better watch him closely.
ReplyDeletePoster, your husband did all that your house help said. Some men are something else once it comes to pu**y, forget he's not liking dark skin girl. All na fabu, just shine your eyes and monitor him well well, you go catch am red handed.
ReplyDeleteMadam,what if you bring in another maid and he tries same with her..confirming what this little girl said. What will you do about it?
ReplyDeleteWill you send the girl parking or will you park out of your home?
Prepare your mind for the worst my dear. Men cant be trusted.
I am so shocked at some people's response on this issue! I have been a victim of this utter rubbish when in actual fact, it was a set up by a Mongolian idiot. I had to go to the extreme to prove my innocence. The stereotype on here about men is freaking annoying, not all men are dogs. We do have our preferred taste when it comes to the opposite sex! Madam, you know your hubby and his taste, if you think he can stoop so low to that level,then you can do what Stella advised, if not, pls try and trust your husband. How will women feel if they are accused of fu..king their drivers or houseboys? The fact that it is rampant among men DOES NOT mean all men do it! Ladies, if you have issues of trust with your spouses, kindly don't extend that negativity to other ladies ( especially the gullible ones that believes everything they read and hear).
ReplyDeleteAlot of people dont know the evils some of these maids do. I just laugh. One lied on my uncle. If not because we were wise enough not to announce it until we got actual facts.
DeleteBut my mother already believed my uncle couldn't do such.
I am also surprised at all the response. House help that looked me in the eye and said yes you dey come my room when madam don sleep. Thank God for cctv. She was from Jos. You are saying 2 of them cant be lying,but its only one that is saying the other girl told her, and also this ones mother said she hasnt told her that she was molested before. Madam trust your instincts. Hiss. Get affordable cctv, look for away to lay of maids for now. No one is above lying. Shes gone, put precautions in place to avoid re occurrence
DeleteThis thread is made up of a few sensible responses.
DeleteWow! That's some scary sh#t. Madam plant some secret cameras in your home,at the same time if he's caught it would be horrible to use another girl as your set target or dummy.
ReplyDeleteworld people hmmm. madam i believe your husband, i know this things happen but this man did not do it, i pray you all never encounter young girls like that i mean little devil incarnates like that, i am familiar with this kind of girls, see ehn that girl wanted to leave and the useless one that left before her must have told her lies just because she is pained u sent her packing and this new one will hear her gist so she added oga just to spoil him, this one wanted to leave and lied about the dream u didnt accept cos you liked her, so she said oga grabbed her cos she knows that will cause trouble and she would leave, she was bold to tell u but could not tell her mother ? You all are thinking like naija police including u stella, trust no one i repeat small girl or not, the kind of lies this little girls say ehn hmmm,i am familiar with this kinda so called lil girls, fyi i am female o but if i start with the lies and mischief of this kinda girls u will fear, please madam handle this situation with care but i can tell u this girl is lying. Install the camera if u want i bet u will get nothing. Try to get the truth from that girl, so you can have peace of mind, i pray may we meet alakoba in our life journey. Amen. Bv kg
ReplyDeleteWhen my sisters friend was complaining about her husband sleeping with their maid, my sister used to brag to me on our way back that she knows her husband cannot stoop so law, that she knows his spec and that if he wants to sleep around it will be with someone classy.
ReplyDeleteWhat I didn’t tell my sister was that her husband had a long affair with her former housemaid.
What I didn’t tell her was that her husband had been chasing me round the house any time we were alone(and at that time I was some lanky student and nothing close to classy) what I didn’t tell her was that the reason I sign up for every class I can find during the holiday was because I didn’t want to be home alone with her cheating husband.
Woman, the probability that your husband did what the girl said is very true, it is possible her ‘dream’ story was her polite way of wanting to leave, but when it didn’t sell she had to tell you the real reason.
Madam don’t do what Stella said cos I think you want to enjoy your marriage, if you investigate, what you will find will shock you
Madam I strongly believe your husband did it.
ReplyDeleteMadam please don't listen to BVs. Your husband may be innocent. People who are in bad relationships or have had one always think all men are the same. I have worked as part of a jury panel and we had a case where the step daughter of the man accused him of molestING him. Thank God we found him not guilty due to lack of evidence. The girl later confessed she made the story up just to garner sympathy. We would have sent an innocent man to prison and with his name permanently in a sex offender's register.
ReplyDeleteWhat I'm saying is do not condemn your husband with no proof.
Ok that one wanted sympathy, so what does this one want?
Delete@anon 17:25
DeleteIf you ask me, na who I go ask ?
Be quick to listen, slow to react James 1:19.
It means, we should reason well before we talk and take decisions.
#hadeyhalaba.
Let me go anon and tell you a true story. Some of these house maids especially the small ones are demons that can break homes. I don't trust men from here to there. Plus I am not even married yet so nothing like I am covering up for a husband.
ReplyDeleteMy grandma, my uncle and his family, all live in the same street. Different houses . But same street..
But my mum is in her husband's house.
My grandmother has this house-maid about age 14/15 ,and my grandma is the very strict type, you know how old people of those days are. But my mum still took it upon herself to care for the girl,buy her toiletries,give her extra money and all, so she would stay. This girl was doing a very good job that's what we saw. But my grand-mother disliked her. And we would be wandering the reason. My mum is the one paying her salary. Very soon I think my uncle too started noticing her bad behaviour and disciplined her one day.
Anyway she called my mum crying on the phone one night. My mum said what is the matter. She said my uncle molested her and raped her some time ago. My mum was stunned, then how come it is this night you are just reporting it ( that was the night my uncle beat her becos she pushed my grandma). Anyway my mum told her to calm down she would see her the next morning.
Anyway my mum didn't say anything to anyone but she was stunned. My uncle is married,hes a banker and pastor in Redeem. My mum just kept calm.
So she hatched a plan, that she would pick up the girl,also bring along the woman that brought her and say they are going to hospital to check for the molestation since she said she is a virgin and take her to all these women/child rights.
She picked this girl,on the way told her where they are going. And this girl started crying that she wants to come down. They said why ?
She now started confessing that all she said against my uncle was all lies. She just said those things because he beat her and she wanted to get back at him.
So they turned and went back home. My mum payed her salary and told the woman to take her back to her people. Come and see crying, begging and rolling on the floor. Saying she wants to stay. Fear some of these maids please.
Chai OMG
DeleteThanks Anon.
Thank you for this. Please madam poster, investigate very well and don't accept anything on face face value.
DeleteMadam for that girl to look your husband in the eye and repeated that he did it hmmmm, i believe her
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm my dear I was in your shoes some years back, my maid went as far as going to the police when hubby was threatening them, I stood with my husband but till date I can't tell u I understand why the girl will say such, if she wanted to go she will have said so instead coming up with such lies. Poster if you can don't bring any minor into your home, have someone that will come and go.
ReplyDeleteTill this day you're still not sure whether hubby did the do or not...?
Delete@Anon 16.13 keep standing with your husband as the standing fan that you are. Hopefully the day he impregnates another maid you will still stand by him.
DeleteHahahaaaaaz yellow sisi oo standing fan ko ceiling fan ni
DeleteMy dear, for that girl to look directly into your husband's face and say he did it, calm down, your husband might be at fault.
ReplyDeleteIt’s interesting how most people do not believe the husband. The girl has a phone what if someone advised her on what to say. Unfortunately this is her words against his and although I am tempted to believe her, the husband is innocent until proven guilty.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I commend your trust for your horseband, you where to quick to send the girl packing because you believed your horseband.
ReplyDeleteAnyway I believe the little girl was telling the trust I could be wrong but my dear on a scale of 10 is 9. Your horseband could have been in this game for a long time as u said u have been bring more beautiful girl to your home.
Madam continue bringing more beautiful girls for your horseband to abuse.
Please apologize to that little girl and settle her while you warn you horseband.
Keep praying for him and please stop bringing in more girls for him. You can arrange your self in away that you can combine work and house chores.
Marriage ko si easy.
Men ehnnnnnnnnn.
ReplyDeleteMy aunty carries her husband on her head even more than Jehovah. I left their house and she has gone round telling everyone who cares to listen how I left abruptly and don't come to visit. How ungrateful I am.
How do I tell her, her dog of a husband has attempting to rape me several times. She doesn't know I'm doing her a favour. How will I break a 30yr marriage. I rather avoid the man and their house.
Meanwhile he saw me at a family function and couldn't look me in the eye. Like he is scared I may reveal.
It is really difficult when the man of the house is accused and the wife finds it difficult to believe. Painful as it is please do your findings so that you can have closure.
ReplyDeleteThe girl is really bold accusing your husband.
Poster I don't blame you. Who would you take side with if not your promiscuous husband.
ReplyDeleteSome Women and the way they carry husband matter for head.
Well I just told my mum that you said your hubby is sad that the girl accused him of such and she has been laughing since. Mind you she was once a househelp like that girl in her late teens back then. She stayed with her big sister but that one turned her into a househelp.
The husband always bothered her for sex, he would put on blue film then call her to serve him juice this was someone that wasn't thirsty but he wanted to make her aroused but my mum locked up. When it got to the extent of attempted rape she went to meet her sis and told her, that one refused and said my mum wanted to spoil her home.
My mum told her to call the hubby and she would still say it in his presence, she did oooo and guess what the man did.
The man cried and faked fainting right there in the parlour oooo they had to call ambulance for him they poured him water but my mum said the man refused to wake up ooo.
The sister pushed her out of the house but later after pleading from their parent she took her back. But my mum was smarter this time around for she brought a small cassette for recording.
So the yeye man came back again and this time she recorded everything, she told the sister again, the man fainted again while holding his chest saying why are you lying against me not until my smart mama brought out the cassette and they heard the recording.
You better accept that your husband is lying and stop deceiving yourself or how about you look for the other girls and question them to tell you the truth. Be smart and open your eyes well.
Fabu! Ambulance for Nigeria? Inukwa
DeleteYes, because you were there when it happened. The man that eventually molested the daughter.
DeleteIf you don't believe kindly move along.
@ Poster either your husband or the househelp could be lying. I have learnt to take what is said by mouth at face value. Do not pick a side without proper investigation ie secretly install CCTV, and use it to really find out about the kind of man you married. Its not by sentiment. A lot of husbands do abuse their househelps without their wives knowing but on the flip side the most devious househelps I have had were the young teenage ones. I have experienced where a teenage househelp I once had looked me in the eye and accused me falsely and in front of people for that matter. I was shocked. Another one I had also dealt with me. So now you can NEVER see me get a househelp younger than 20 years of age. Since then my turn over has increased from months to a couple of years.
ReplyDeleteSo, poster, YOU MUST INVESTIGATE. Only you can find out the truth.
God bless you. In as much as I am not declaring the man innocent, I laugh at all the comments saying the girl is too young to tell such a bold lie. Teenagers are unpredictable.
DeleteYour husband may be guilty. A lot of married men do unprintable stuf with their housemaids. Forget about that" she's not his spec' talk. Most men would stoop so low to sleep with their housemaids. I see it happen every now and then. It also happened to me..I wouldn't have known if the girl didn't confess. She was less than a month in my home. When I was only 10 years old, the man living in my father's BQ molested me and every little girl his wife brought into their home. I knew because they confided in me before leaving. I couldn't tell his wife or even my mother so I avoided him. His wife trusted him so much..he went as far as showing me his big private part when nobody was watching. I can't type all. Poster please arrange for someone to come do the chores and go. Do not use any teenage girl as an experiment.
ReplyDeleteThe panel of judges on this blog has declared your husband guilty. The verdicts are based on pure sentiments with the notion,"All men are dogs ". I will strongly advice you look deep inward and don't act on this scorned verdicts from bitter ladies/men with trust issues. It is a known fact that some men indulge in such activities, but NOT all men do it. Your hubby might be Innocent, give him the benefit of doubt. You don't know how broken marriages/ relationships of those passing the guilty verdicts on here are....
ReplyDeleteStan, everybody has their opinion regarding this issue considering their personal experiences. I'm of the opinion that the man may not be clean from my own personal experience with 2 of my sisters fiance. One will use excuse to make them send me to his house to pick up an item or two. Once I went and this man tried all he could to have sex with me. I was 14 years. He was a lawyer. I had so much bad experiences from in-laws cos we were all girls. I never talked about my experiences until I was in my thirties and away from Nigeria. You only know your self Stan, you don't know the pastor living next to you or the doctor or principal.
DeleteThe girl had no reason to lie since you both treat her good. That dream was just an excuse to leave your home quietly without causing problems. A house help I had sometime ago told me how her uncle slept with her from age 11 to age 15, threatened to kill her if she told anyone,aborted her pregnancies until she had complications. She summoned courage one night and ran away to tell a relative. The whole thing blew up on the uncle's face. His wife who was in d dark all the while left with their children. The man is suffering the repercussions and the girl has been going from one hospital to another trying to repair her damaged womb. Please do not for one second believe your husband cannot do such a thing.
ReplyDeleteStella, the possibility is there that the girl is lying. She wants to go and she knows if she accuse the husband of molesting her, the woman will allow her go.
ReplyDeleteWe once had a maid that stayed with us for 2years. The second year, she accused my brother of molesting her. My brother denied it and stayed away from her, making sure he was never alone with her again. My mum was confused and sad; she trusted her son but didn't want to write off the girl's Accusations. During Christmas when the girl left, we didn't go back and pick her in January. My mum was skeptical about getting a maid again. To our surprise, she called around March and begged to come back, my mum was surprised. At that point, my mum knew she lied against my brother. Why will she want to go back to a place where she was raped?
My point is, you know your husband. If you are still in doubt of the truth and it is affecting your marriage, ask God to reveal the truth to you. Believe me, he will. Also, don't let your husband know you don't outrightly believe him.
Peace.
Must you bring a girl to your house?
ReplyDeleteGet a smart boy or outsource the services to some people eg laundry services, get a cook(if possible), get a nanny, etc all these ones should come and go; no sleeping over.
Poster you better tell yourself the truth. I remember in secondary school (then i was 15 years old), my friend who was my age mate and neighbour. She begged my parents to allow me spend the night at hers cos her elder sis wasn't around. In the middle of the night when I woke up to pee, her sister's husband held me hostage in the bathroom with serious erection. He wanted to have sex with me , after much pleading and crying that I'm a virgin he let me go . Immediately I got back to the room my friend quickly locked the door and told me this is what she faces everynight but her elder sis won't believe her.couldn't sleep till morning, never stepped a foot into that house. This guy in question is very young and exposed.
ReplyDeleteMadam the only way you can investigate this matter and know the truth is to seek out your old housemaids and question them, don't forget to record all they say. You will find your answer there.
ReplyDeleteMadam your husband did it. He is only acting, I can't believe you said your husband doesn't like dark skin girls hahahahaha...Women! He did it and it is not the first time.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, your house help is telling the truth. Please start thinking of how you can manage the house to ensure he doesn't get to successfully carryout the act next time if you are considering bringing another house help. In my case, My husband is not only enlightened, he is very posh on the outside. I wish I can give you his social media handles so you will understand what I mean. He has practically slept or tried to sleep with every house help i have had. I have had 10 so far and he succeeded with 5 of them. The rest left abruptly and never told me why. The last one even poisoned my meal as soon as I came back from the abroad. Its only God that saved me.
ReplyDeleteEach time I see a sign and confront him with it, he will swear by God and with his fathers grave.. but eventually, it will turn out he was lying. The worst is he doesn't even see it as a grave sin. He believes ones he says sorry, he is forgiven and all is back to normal. If I dare report him to his family, he will fabricate terrible lies against me and I will then be defending myself against the lies. The fact is that I am dumping his sorry ass and he hasn't even realised it. A lot of men are scum. I am not saying all men because i know one of my brothers is extremely disciplined and morally upright...
Please is that your brother in particular single?. The desire for disciplined and decent men from this my end isn't something you should overlook ooo. Stella please I know this is off topic but post for she might reply, thanks.
DeleteAnon 20:35 please reply Anon 01:13 biko
DeleteReply the Anon now....
DeleteThe girl wants to go allow her to go. First it was dream and second it is molestation. If you still keep her against her will, she will fabricate another lie and last option she will run away. If she runs away from your house get ready for the problem that will follow it, because you have to make a formal report at the nearest police station after 24hrs of missing. After 7 days you didn't hear from her, police will declare her missing. Nigeria police will collect money from you to publish missing person in national dailies. NGO may get involved and u don't want to imagine what will happen next. Allow her to go.
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ReplyDeleteI don't know if your husband did it or not. All I know is that the young maids are more devious. It's better to get maids in their 20s who want to work, save money and start a business, learn a trade, or go back to school. Had 2 maids and the older one would report the younger very often. Once claimed she threatened her life. The younger would cry and deny it and say the older one just wants to get her sacked...at the end,it turned out she was the one intimidating, threatening and lying against the older maid so that one let's her do whatever she wants out of fear.
I would have asked you to follow Stella's advice and also plant Cameras without hubby's knowledge,but what if he succeeds in molesting the next maid?
ReplyDeleteI hope you read this. These days, teenage female helps are very difficult to stay with especially if you give them internet enabled phones without monitoring. Yes i was a victim. We have had series of helps both old and young but this particular little girl of 15 years old nearly destroyed my home. I remember my Dad advising me not to get a help from my village, but i saw it as a a means of helping people from my side by giving them a life. The ordeal started when my wife bought her an android phone and subscribes it for her cause my wife can't make calls at her work place only during her break, for emergency they chat via whatsapp. Unknown to us she has had FB, IG acct & has started watching porn. One night my wife caught her watching porn and she didn't report that to me. She handled it on her own. Another night, i dozed off on couch after a night out, suddenly i woke up to find this girl's hand down my groin. I didn't know what made me scream "Bae come and see ooo! Next thing madam came downstairs, then this tiny girl change am for me. She started crying and ran to wife saying that i tried raping her...hmm no be small drama. I was numb and shocked that at a point e be like say madam wan start to dey believe her. I left my house that night, refused to pick her calls for days. Na the priest wey wed us i carry the matter go. I ask her in front of priest "i go dey rape the girl dey shout make you come and see by 2am?'" I was so mean that i asked for separation, for me marriage without trust is dead. Trust is very important. Madam poster, some of these small girls are devils. My advise, take that girl away. Up-till now i don't do live-in helps. Resume by 6am and close by 6pm....If you can afford such it is the best. This matter even reach village anyways let me stop here....send that girl away!!!!!
ReplyDeletelust is a spirit and this girl must have been molested herself or introduced to sex early. porn transfers all kinds of spirits and its only in the place of deliverance you will be set free..thank God u overcame
DeleteMy heart goes out to you poster. Sorry to all the seemingly innocent men who are upset by the general guilty verdict. However from the real life experiences shared here (and on other platforms) you can see that men are predators way too often and so asking to trust him at face value is asking for a little too much. Poster I'd try to be practical. Stop getting underage maids. Everyone should stop this. Even though it is widespread, it is illegal. If anything happens and NAPTIP or other authorities gets involved, you can get into serious trouble. Sorry about your situation.
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